Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   Sorry Tiger. Elin Nordgren is undoubtedly happy with her new boyfriend....and his "bigger boat"   (dailymail.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Elin Nordegren, Tiger Woods, marinas, golfers, Lindsey Vonn, Caroline Kennedy  
•       •       •

5313 clicks; posted to Sports » on 20 Mar 2013 at 9:36 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



70 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-03-20 08:26:10 AM  
Give the guy a break. He's half Asian.
 
2013-03-20 08:29:33 AM  
Do her nipples dispense beer or something?
 
2013-03-20 08:31:42 AM  
I'm confused. The way "bigger boat" appears in parentheses makes me think that it's some sort of double entendre. Like, maybe the "boat" in this sense represents a penis? It's got to be a penis. Heck, it's always a penis. So Elin Nordgren likes her new friend better than Tiger because he has a bigger penis? But I thought that owning oversized, really expensive cars meant you had a  smallerpenis. Or does that only apply to Hummers? These constantly shifting hidden meanings are hard to track.

Or maybe she didn't like Tiger because he did have a massive penis, symbolized by his smaller boat, and it hurt? I've heard that's sometimes the case. So maybe, using the "big boat/small penis" equation in this case, she's flaunting to Tiger that she can have sex without the associated pain anymore. Well, good for her, I'm glad she's found some happiness.
 
2013-03-20 08:31:54 AM  
Wow. Nine whole feet. A makeable putt, if you will.
 
2013-03-20 08:43:13 AM  
I'm sure he's filled with envy.
 
2013-03-20 08:57:01 AM  
All I got from the "article" is confirmation, yet again, that Lindsey Vonn is hot.
 
2013-03-20 08:58:51 AM  
It's pretty obvious who won that divorce, and it's not the side banging the old balls.
 
2013-03-20 09:16:12 AM  
But I was told that once you go Cablanasian, you never go Caucasian!
 
2013-03-20 09:25:40 AM  
I doubt Tiger is crying himself to sleep.
 
2013-03-20 09:36:03 AM  
Without Tiger Woods, we might never have found the Taiwanese Animators
 
2013-03-20 09:43:15 AM  

Generation_D: Taiwanese Animators


That really is an excellent point, and one which can never be overstated.
 
2013-03-20 09:44:28 AM  
This gold digger can enjoy her new found old man balls.
 
2013-03-20 09:45:20 AM  
Rumor has it he's seeing Lindsey Vonn. Dude traded up.

Not sure what she's thinking though. A question for the farkettes out there... would you date a guy that has a reputation for banging anything (blonde) that moves? If so, would you really expect your friends to comfort you when you catch him cheating on you?

Vonn has options. Lots of options. It confuses me.
 
2013-03-20 09:52:19 AM  
Comparing boat size? Really?  This is why it's called the Daily Fail, people.

\and no, Elin is not doing herself any favors in the "no, she's not a golddigger" department by dating a richer, older guy
 
2013-03-20 09:59:45 AM  

Sybarite: Give the guy a break. He's half Asian.


He's also half black.  Dominant genes and such.

Regardless, he's old.  Fark old people.
 
2013-03-20 10:02:27 AM  

JRaynor: Rumor has it he's seeing Lindsey Vonn. Dude traded up.

Not sure what she's thinking though. A question for the farkettes out there... would you date a guy that has a reputation for banging anything (blonde) that moves? If so, would you really expect your friends to comfort you when you catch him cheating on you?

Vonn has options. Lots of options. It confuses me.


Where did you hear that rumor? Probably nowhere reputable, because it is a huge secret.
 
2013-03-20 10:07:48 AM  

JRaynor: Rumor has it he's seeing Lindsey Vonn. Dude traded up.

Not sure what she's thinking though. A question for the farkettes out there... would you date a guy that has a reputation for banging anything (blonde) that moves? If so, would you really expect your friends to comfort you when you catch him cheating on you?

Vonn has options. Lots of options. It confuses me.


I'd say it was more a lateral trade.  I'd hit Vonn with the fist of an angry god, but I'd still take Elin over her.
 
2013-03-20 10:07:50 AM  
Tiger realizes he's not getting any younger, and time is short if he wants to catch Jack. He only won majors while getting serious blonde tail, so he's hooked up with Vonn to see if he can recreate the magic on the golf course. If not, well the worst that can happen is that he's getting serious blonde tail. Win-win.
 
2013-03-20 10:10:22 AM  

ChrisDe: Tiger realizes he's not getting any younger, and time is short if he wants to catch Jack. He only won majors while getting serious blonde tail, so he's hooked up with Vonn to see if he can recreate the magic on the golf course. If not, well the worst that can happen is that he's getting serious blonde tail. Win-win.


I think, if he were a true superstitious jock, he'd also be getting waitress tail on the side.  For the love of the game.
 
2013-03-20 10:11:44 AM  
She must be the world's most expensive hooker.
 
2013-03-20 10:19:50 AM  
I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger. . .
 
2013-03-20 10:24:22 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Do her nipples dispense beer or something?


Close.  Swedish bikini model with a twin sister.
 
2013-03-20 10:24:51 AM  

Pocket Ninja: parentheses


Glorious.
 
2013-03-20 10:31:07 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Do her nipples dispense beer or something?


Yeah, but only Bud Lite. He will trade her in on an exotic microbrew someday.
 
2013-03-20 10:41:02 AM  

Nabb1: Wow. Nine whole feet.


Nine feet when it comes to boats is pretty significant.  Deeper draft, wider beam, more structural engineering.  It's somewhat exponential.  That 10 feet might give you 15%-20% more interior space at that boat length even though the length is increased less than 10%.
 
2013-03-20 10:46:12 AM  
Hot young woman divorces her rich husband and starts dating a RICHER much much older (gross) man.  I'm shocked.  She's a gold digger.  A very successful one.  She's going to really start earning it with this new geezer.
 
2013-03-20 10:51:58 AM  
Now that she's not married to famous athlete Tiger Woods, who the hell cares wtf Elin Nordgren is doing?
 
2013-03-20 10:52:57 AM  
She's a gold digger? Didnt she get a several million dollar settlement from the divorce?

She doesn't need to dig gold anymore, she won at being a gold digger. She's generationally wealthy. I doubt she's out banging dudes for money anymore.

/don't think she's a gold digger, she's dating in her socio-economic class just like everyone else does
//anything to slut shame her though right Fark?
///no matter how big that dudes boat is, Tiger is Tiger and that guy is I Forgot His Name Already
 
2013-03-20 10:57:07 AM  

js34603: don't think she's a gold digger


But she ain't messin' with no broke... broke.
 
2013-03-20 10:59:15 AM  
The main thing Tiger Woods has going for him in this situation is THAT HE'S TIGER WOODS!   I doubt he gives a shiat.
 
2013-03-20 11:03:14 AM  

bhcompy: Regardless, he's old. Fark old people.


I'll go for that.
 
2013-03-20 11:04:53 AM  

Gonz: js34603: don't think she's a gold digger

But she ain't messin' with no broke... broke.


I'm sure her dating someone 20 years older than her has nothing to do with his billion dollar net worth.

That's totally normal to date someone 20 years older than you ... because you have so much in common, you know?
 
2013-03-20 11:08:25 AM  

Nabb1: Wow. Nine whole feet. A makeable putt, if you will.


I don't think you appreciate how much yacht size represents overcompensation for the rich.
 
2013-03-20 11:10:50 AM  
Bill Melinda Gates yacht even bigger

ih2.redbubble.net
 
2013-03-20 11:12:26 AM  

TwistedIvory: I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger. . .


... but she ain't messin' with no broke, broke...
 
2013-03-20 11:13:06 AM  

Gonz: js34603: don't think she's a gold digger

But she ain't messin' with no broke... broke.


Aw man. Guess I should read the thread first.
 
2013-03-20 11:13:36 AM  
So where does she go after she dumps the current dude? Warren Buffet or Carlos Slim?
 
2013-03-20 11:14:26 AM  

Spike Lee's Favorite Farker: This gold digger can enjoy her new found old man balls.


Yeah, because she doesn't make more money than most on her own.
 
2013-03-20 11:17:12 AM  

srhp29: Spike Lee's Favorite Farker: This gold digger can enjoy her new found old man balls.

Yeah, because she doesn't make more money than most on her own.


Why waste your own money when you can use someone else's?
 
2013-03-20 11:20:46 AM  
I wonder if her new boyfriend had her tested for any STD? If I remember right, when the cheating scandal was at full force, some of the girls Tiger slept with said that he did not wear a condom. I don't know if that was true with everyone of the 100+ girls he farked.

I also wonder if Vonn had him tested since I'm sure they are getting it on without a rubber.
 
2013-03-20 11:24:04 AM  
so all i have is a dinghy?
 
2013-03-20 11:31:07 AM  

carnifex2005: srhp29: Spike Lee's Favorite Farker: This gold digger can enjoy her new found old man balls.

Yeah, because she doesn't make more money than most on her own.

Why waste your own money when you can use someone else's?


hey, now. this isn't the politics section.
 
2013-03-20 11:36:55 AM  

js34603: //anything to slut shame her though right Fark?


Because Fark hasn't been slut-shaming Tiger. Not at all.

// protip: we shiat on everyone here, slut or not
// except Mr Rogers, apparently - but I'm sure he'd tell both Elin and Tiger that they're special and he loves them both
 
2013-03-20 11:51:42 AM  
Hmm... guys go for the younger models while gals go for the older models.  So it's looks vs money.
 
2013-03-20 11:52:47 AM  

JRaynor: Rumor has it he's seeing Lindsey Vonn. Dude traded up.

Not sure what she's thinking though. A question for the farkettes out there... would you date a guy that has a reputation for banging anything (blonde) that moves? If so, would you really expect your friends to comfort you when you catch him cheating on you?

Vonn has options. Lots of options. It confuses me.


Why, it's almost as if they're attracted to money or something.
 
2013-03-20 11:54:10 AM  
So, does this mean she'll be banging Paul Allen next?
 
2013-03-20 11:58:46 AM  
Howard Stern interviewed a handful of the Tiger Woods mistresses and hate to say it but Tiger was apparently hung like a horse.  I am pretty sure he could care less about the guy's boat.

Also, Elin is way better looking than Vonn but I don;t think I would choose her over Vonn.  Lyndsey Vonn is a baddass woman.
 
2013-03-20 12:00:28 PM  
At this point, I think we can put all Tiger Woods articles into the Entertainment section rather than the Sports section.
 
2013-03-20 12:01:56 PM  

nein: At this point, I think we can put all Tiger Woods articles into the Entertainment section rather than the Sports section.


Same could be said of Lindsay Lohan news being pulled from Entertainment to Main (or just being pulled altogether).
 
2013-03-20 12:04:06 PM  
Dude is 54?!  Props to him.  I guess.

Personally I would just pay young hot hookers if I was him.  It has to be way cheaper than Elin
 
Displayed 50 of 70 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report