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(Serious Eats)   Want a steak so good, your dog will murder you in your sleep for it? Here comes the Food Science   (seriouseats.com) divider line 138
    More: Cool, food science, studios, rib eyes, murders, sleeps, dogs  
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13052 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Mar 2013 at 5:41 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-19 04:45:11 PM
That looks delicious! Pass the ketchup!
 
2013-03-19 04:53:30 PM
Kenji is pretty much the man when it comes to food science.
 
2013-03-19 04:56:32 PM
My husband and I have been reading about sous-vide cooking for a month or two, and this recipe looks like a good start.
 
2013-03-19 05:11:54 PM
I don't have the patience for this sort of nonsense.
 
2013-03-19 05:24:16 PM
It does look awesome, and obviously the science is rock-solid...but I'm sorry. I don't care if it's the single most perfect, orgasmic, indulgently over-the-top piece of meat in the universe - I am NOT spending twelve hours and a few hundred bucks just to cook a goddamned steak.
 
2013-03-19 05:44:47 PM

Krieghund: That looks delicious! Pass the ketchup!


Infidel! The only appropriate condiment for a steak is wrapping it in Bacon.
 
2013-03-19 05:47:03 PM

MaxxLarge: It does look awesome, and obviously the science is rock-solid...but I'm sorry. I don't care if it's the single most perfect, orgasmic, indulgently over-the-top piece of meat in the universe - I am NOT spending twelve hours and a few hundred bucks just to cook a goddamned steak.


You'll have to settle for your dog seriously maiming you during a nap, then.

Look, I don't make the rules.
 
2013-03-19 05:47:48 PM
These are the kinds of smells you can only achieve with either a blazing hot grill or under a 12,000°F broiler.

i915.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-19 05:49:42 PM
I'll have the Douglas Sirk, bloody as hell.

/obscure?
 
2013-03-19 05:49:57 PM
Hell my dog chews on paving blocks and car fenders, he wouldn't know a good steak if it crawled up and started humping him.


/not saying he wouldn't eat it, but he would devour filet mignon  with the same gusto as he does shredded tires
 
2013-03-19 05:50:03 PM
I disagree with their choice of 130F for the sous vide. If you're cooking for six to eight hours, 57C gives you better texture than 54C. 130F is slightly too cold. Yes, it will look pinker, and so will keep the "all steaks should be rare" crew off your back, but sous vide doesn't kill the moisture so you don't need to serve it quite so raw.
 
2013-03-19 05:50:35 PM
I am having steak tonight, but it will be simply grilled. Since I rarely eat red meat, this method will be sufficiently delicious for me.
 
2013-03-19 05:51:57 PM
Why bother with steak when you can get a delicious McDouble at McDonalds for a $1.
 
2013-03-19 05:52:05 PM

Snarfangel: You'll have to settle for your dog seriously maiming you during a nap, then.Look, I don't make the rules.


Guess I'll have to risk it.
 
2013-03-19 05:52:28 PM
You know... I've never eaten a steak off my charcoal fired Weber and thought; "Man, this steak could be sooo much better."
 
2013-03-19 05:52:58 PM
Excuse me?   My dog is a loyal, faithful companion who would never dream of causing harm to his master and partner-in-crime.

My wife's dog would do it for a stale Cheeze-it though.

imageshack.us
/look at those beady, soulless eyes...
 
2013-03-19 05:56:06 PM

karmaceutical: You know... I've never eaten a steak off my charcoal fired Weber and thought; "Man, this steak could be sooo much better."


Yep.  The worst steak I ever cooked was still damn good.
 
2013-03-19 05:56:54 PM
Headline would be funny if not for the fact that my dog has literally attempted to murder me several times, both while I'm sleeping and while I'm not.

I'm very afraid of her.  Oh god, she's watching me everybody be cool.  She hasn't learned to read very well yet, so I a
 
2013-03-19 05:57:04 PM
What a stupid endeavor. What a stupid, self important asshole.
 
2013-03-19 05:57:26 PM
1.  Throw steak in open flames, sear 5 minutes on either side.

2. Cover fire and let steak sit in smoke for 5 more minutes.

3. Eat.

When doing steak, bear in mind it is almost impossible to f up a good steak, so K.I.S.S.
 
2013-03-19 05:58:38 PM
But what if you like a well done steak?  This might be the worst possible steak ever then.
 
2013-03-19 05:59:03 PM
Kobe beef (the stuff you can only get in Japan) is so good you don't need to fuss around with prep.  The chef trimmed & diced the meat on the teppanyaki grill.

Korean-style barbecue is also superior because the meat is thin-sliced.  It's so easy to do, well, customers think nothing of doing it themselves.

If anything, this guy proves that thick-cut steak is the worst way to eat beef because it takes this much work to get it right.
 
2013-03-19 06:00:02 PM

MaxxLarge: It does look awesome, and obviously the science is rock-solid...but I'm sorry. I don't care if it's the single most perfect, orgasmic, indulgently over-the-top piece of meat in the universe - I am NOT spending twelve hours and a few hundred bucks just to cook a goddamned steak.


Most of that time, you're not doing anything. I regularly cook sous vide, and it's simple. I fill the bath with the hottest water I can get from the sink, takes 2-3 minutes. Bath goes on and is up to temp within 5 minutes, during which time I season and bag the meat. It goes into the bath, and then I'm done for a few hours. Do work, go out, etc. Whatever. Total time spent is around 5 minutes.
At dinner time, heat up the skillet with some oil. Meat comes out of the bath, cut the bag open and pat it dry. Skillet's ready, so toss in the meat. Flip a few times getting a nice sear, and it's done. About another 5 minutes total, from the time the skillet goes on the flame. Or use the blow torch, and that step is only about 2 minutes.
So you've spent 7-10 minutes, total. Same as you would to grill a streak or pan fry one, but now your steak is better.

Plus, since the active times are so separated, you can easily make sides before you ever remove the meat from the bath, and now you're not trying to scramble with three things going simultaneously and worrying about overcooking your steak.
 
2013-03-19 06:00:03 PM
God!  I hate these foodies.  They've taken a simple think like eating and tried to make it better.  It's just food!  What's the difference.

It reminds me of these people that I like to call "sexies".  They're always trying to have sex with attractive women, but there's no difference between that and jerking off to the bra section in the Sears catalog.  They don't impress me.  I've got a Sears catalog.  Who needs anything better than that?
 
2013-03-19 06:00:17 PM

meat0918: But what if you like a well done steak?  This might be the worst possible steak ever then.


Then you should be executed for crimes against humanity. People who take their steaks well done are worse than vegetarians: the latter are annoying douchebags, but they're not wasting good food that the rest of us could be eating.
 
2013-03-19 06:00:19 PM

MBooda: I'll have the Douglas Sirk, bloody as hell.

/obscure?


techielobang.com
 
2013-03-19 06:00:38 PM
here's a tip: DON'T F*CKING OVERCOOK IT.

also: use a meat thermometer. all ovens are different. all cuts of meat are different. time means nothing. doneness is temperature.
also: let it rest for 10 minutes

this is how i do it:


heat oven to 400ºstart with USDA prime ribeye (costco)season w/kosher salt and ground pepperbring to room tempbring iron skillet up to temp over a high or med/high flameadd a few drops of canola oil to pan, let spreadadd a pat of butter (better yet, herb butter) to the panpat your steaks dry (this is important!)sear them on the first side for three minutes or until they're deep brownturn them over and sear the other side for two minsinsert leave-in meat thermometer into the middle of one of the steaks, set it for 110ºput skillet in the oven and cook until the target temp is reached (give or take 8 mins, depending on oven, altitude, and thickness of steaks)when temp is reached, remove from oven and set steaks aside to restreturn skillet to high heat (careful - it will be hot as a mother*cker)deglaze the pan with a 1/4 cup of brandy (or bourbon), scraping up the brown bits as you goadd 1/2  or 3/4 cup of veal stock (or beef stock, if veal isn't available)cook on high until reduced to a sauce consistencyturn off burner and add a tbsp of heavy cream (optional: add a teaspoon of dijon mustard)pour over steaks.eat, preferably with roast brussels sprouts or asparagus and a nice hearty cabernet.achieve orgasm.
 
2013-03-19 06:01:16 PM
whoops. formatting fail. still - it's easy and awesome.
 
2013-03-19 06:01:51 PM
I never have had a propane taste when using a torch on my sous vide steaks.
Only way I will cook the steaks now. There is that much of a difference.

For cheaper cuts of meat and poultry, look into vacuum tumbling before cooking.

If you want to get into sous vide cheap without too much of a home brew, get the dorkfood controller from Amazon for $99 and it works with most things. My non-commercial sous vide unit is a $50 butterball turkey cooker (close out) with the controller. The commercial unit was 10x that cost, but not exponentially better.
 
2013-03-19 06:02:00 PM

Skyd1v: My wife's dog would do it for a stale Cheeze-it though.


Your wife's dog is clearly awesome. I had to fight the overwhelming urge to reach into my screen, give him a double ear-scratch, and say, "WHO'S A GOOD BOOOOOY?!?"
 
2013-03-19 06:03:02 PM

karmaceutical: You know... I've never eaten a steak off my charcoal fired Weber and thought; "Man, this steak could be sooo much better."


The law of diminishing returns comes into play here.

Option 'A' : Go to Walmart, get 8-pack of on-sale steaks, and cook over propane grill. Done in 15 minutes. Grade "70"

Option 'B': Go to local butcher, get decent cut of quality meat for a reasonable cost, cook over some special but not uncommon coals. Done in 30 minutes. Grade "95"

Option 'C' : Track down some samurai butcher who only kills two cows a year, buy one steak (because thats all i can afford), age it for 60 days in a mini-fridge and a fan that i had to go out and buy , order a $350 sous machine, cook it for 6 hours in there, then get a skillet, a torch, some 'aromatics', dirty and clean sixteen dishes. Done in 61 days minutes.  Grade "100"

Yeah, its worth is a bit more and go Option B, but to get that bump up to a 100-point score, well, there are better things to do with your time. The time and effort can be spent just going to a high-end steak house and get them to make you a steak of the quality you are trying to make yourself, and you get it in 20 minutes.
 
2013-03-19 06:03:21 PM

meat0918: But what if you like a well done steak?


us.123rf.comi4.ytimg.com
 
2013-03-19 06:03:37 PM

brap: I don't have the patience for this sort of nonsense.


Ditto. By the time it's done being cooked I'd already be out to McDonald's and back again.
 
2013-03-19 06:03:43 PM

FlashHarry: sear them on the first side for three minutes or until they're deep brownturn them over and sear the other side for two minsinsert leave-in meat thermometer into the middle of one of the steaks, set it for 110ºput skillet in the oven and cook until the target temp is reached


Yum, well done steaks with a raw center! It's like a hockey puck crossed with sushi!
 
2013-03-19 06:04:06 PM
Well, I guess this has the makings of a pizza or hot dog type net war.  So I'll start.  I think he's got it backwards.

Super high heat at first, followed by warming for a bit.  I always let the grill get to rediculous heat levels, then throw the ribeye in there.  Reduce the flame, with the gas knob or by choking if over coals, as you put the steak in there. It gets seared with the initial heat, then roasts thru.  Outside gets crispy edges, etc.  Go through all the machinations you want.  Once it's at the 'damn good' level there's not much better to get.
 
2013-03-19 06:05:38 PM

Rapmaster2000: God!  I hate these foodies.  They've taken a simple think like eating and tried to make it better.  It's just food!  What's the difference.

It reminds me of these people that I like to call "sexies".  They're always trying to have sex with attractive women, but there's no difference between that and jerking off to the bra section in the Sears catalog.  They don't impress me.  I've got a Sears catalog.  Who needs anything better than that?


Don't even get me started on the "drivies" and the "movies."
 
2013-03-19 06:06:54 PM

exvaxman: I never have had a propane taste when using a torch on my sous vide steaks.
Only way I will cook the steaks now. There is that much of a difference.

For cheaper cuts of meat and poultry, look into vacuum tumbling before cooking.

If you want to get into sous vide cheap without too much of a home brew, get the dorkfood controller from Amazon for $99 and it works with most things. My non-commercial sous vide unit is a $50 butterball turkey cooker (close out) with the controller. The commercial unit was 10x that cost, but not exponentially better.


www.tomordway.com
~$130
 
2013-03-19 06:07:31 PM
Theaetetus:
Yum, well done steaks with a raw center!

Throw in a martini, and you got yourself a heimlich party!
 
2013-03-19 06:08:21 PM

Krieghund: That looks delicious! Pass the ketchup!


And a Remy VSOP and Mountain Dew to wash it down.
 
2013-03-19 06:08:32 PM

The best method to cook a steak without resorting to a water bath:

1) Allow steak to warm to room temp.
2) Preheat your cast iron skillet in 500 degree oven 15 minutes.
3) Salt and pepper your steak. Kosher and fresh-cracked is best. (Don't salt it more than 10 minutes before you start cooking it, though, otherwise the meat will be toughened by the salt drawing out moisture.)
4) Cook steak in oven (in glassware), time dependent on how raw you like it. 5 minutes will probably do you for med rare.
5) Put skillet over high heat, get oil smoking (I prefer peanut, it has a high smoke point) then sear your steak. Flip every 10-15 seconds. Searing should take about 2-3 minutes total.
6) Let steak rest 3-5 minutes.
I prefer my steaks blue so I forego any oven cooking. And rely solely on the skillet
 
2013-03-19 06:08:37 PM

Rapmaster2000: God!  I hate these foodies.  They've taken a simple think like eating and tried to make it better.  It's just food!  What's the difference.

It reminds me of these people that I like to call "sexies".  They're always trying to have sex with attractive women, but there's no difference between that and jerking off to the bra section in the Sears catalog.  They don't impress me.  I've got a Sears catalog.  Who needs anything better than that?


Well ugly chicks are like mopeds, its fun to ride you just dont want your friends to see you doing it.
 
2013-03-19 06:09:12 PM
I do the simple, tried-and-true Alton Brown method:

Preheat oven to as high as it will go, put in cast-iron skillet during the heating.

Put pan on stovetop, heat on high

salt & pepper on steak, coat steak in veggie oil

Sear steak 30 secs on each side

finish in oven -- 2 mins each side usually does it for me, 3 mins for thick steaks (medium to med-rare).

/OM NOM NOM
 
2013-03-19 06:10:43 PM
And like I said, you like I said: you totally look badass doing it.

What?
 
2013-03-19 06:12:05 PM

Bigjohn3592: I think he's got it backwards.

Super high heat at first, followed by warming for a bit.  I always let the grill get to rediculous heat levels, then throw the ribeye in there.  Reduce the flame, with the gas knob or by choking if over coals, as you put the steak in there. It gets seared with the initial heat, then roasts thru.


You have it backwards. Low first, then high. See tip 8.
 
2013-03-19 06:19:27 PM

Osomatic: Kenji is pretty much the man when it comes to food science.


Ah, ok, that guy is on Americas Test Kitchen.

Its an interesting idea, but I'd just finish by grilling over natural chunk charcoal. Maybe you lose dripping and such, but the grilled flavor it gives trumps any of that. That kind of charcoal gets so hot that its not too far from a propane torch, anyway, so it doesn't need too long.
 
2013-03-19 06:21:18 PM
No matter how you cook the steak it still winds up as a turd.  Cook it however you want.
 
2013-03-19 06:24:51 PM
This looks outstanding and is a very sound method. I'm not about to splurge on that kitchen setup (although maybe over time) but I would surely one of those this way if he were hosting a dinner party.
 
2013-03-19 06:26:03 PM
Best steak I ever had was cooked directly on a hardwood fire while camping. Straight from cooler in wrap to the fire, too dark so tell if it was cooked through. A little hardwood ash isn't going to kill you.

At home I've mastered the two step broil. On a sheet pan with a cooling rack, 275F with a probe in the middle to go off at 125F, then pull it out and a pat it dry, then under the broiler for about 3 minutes per side.
 
2013-03-19 06:26:13 PM

FlashHarry: here's a tip: DON'T F*CKING OVERCOOK IT.

also: use a meat thermometer. all ovens are different. all cuts of meat are different. time means nothing. doneness is temperature.
also: let it rest for 10 minutes

this is how i do it:


heat oven to 400ºstart with USDA prime ribeye (costco)season w/kosher salt and ground pepperbring to room tempbring iron skillet up to temp over a high or med/high flameadd a few drops of canola oil to pan, let spreadadd a pat of butter (better yet, herb butter) to the panpat your steaks dry (this is important!)sear them on the first side for three minutes or until they're deep brownturn them over and sear the other side for two minsinsert leave-in meat thermometer into the middle of one of the steaks, set it for 110ºput skillet in the oven and cook until the target temp is reached (give or take 8 mins, depending on oven, altitude, and thickness of steaks)when temp is reached, remove from oven and set steaks aside to restreturn skillet to high heat (careful - it will be hot as a mother*cker)deglaze the pan with a 1/4 cup of brandy (or bourbon), scraping up the brown bits as you goadd 1/2  or 3/4 cup of veal stock (or beef stock, if veal isn't available)cook on high until reduced to a sauce consistencyturn off burner and add a tbsp of heavy cream (optional: add a teaspoon of dijon mustard)pour over steaks.eat, preferably with roast brussels sprouts or asparagus and a nice hearty cabernet.achieve orgasm.


That is my method except i let the temp get to 118 before i remove from the oven and I don't bother with the extra calories i'd get from the deglazing but
YUM.
 
2013-03-19 06:26:21 PM
Put hickory chips in water
Pour drink
Turn Reds game on beat-ass clock radio out on the deck
Pour Kingsford into beat-ass grill
Start fire
Chop taters, put in beat-ass square pan with oil and spices, cover with foil
Pour another drink
Put taters on grill
After ten minutes, push taters aside
Drain water from wood chips
Pour another drink
Cuss Votto
Dump wood chips on grill
Cook meat
Pour another drink
EAT
 
2013-03-19 06:28:38 PM
Nasty.

FTA: "steakhouse-quality char"  Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.

There was nothing in that article that made me want to eat that old meat. 61-day aged? Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty nasty.
 
2013-03-19 06:28:44 PM

exvaxman: If you want to get into sous vide cheap without too much of a home brew, get the dorkfood controller from Amazon for $99 and it works with most things. My non-commercial sous vide unit is a $50 butterball turkey cooker (close out) with the controller. The commercial unit was 10x that cost, but not exponentially better.


There's an even cheaper and simpler method:  pour hot hot tap water into a cooler.   It's a cooler, so the temperature stays pretty stable for hours.

I started cooking steak using a 5-gallon Rubbermaid "gatorade dispenser" cooler.  If I fill it from my basement hot water tap, I easily get 130-140 degree water right off the bat.  It loses maybe 1-2 degrees per hour, plus whatever losses come from warming the steak (maybe another couple degrees total.)

You don't need a vacuum sealer, either:  just put the steak in a regular ziploc bag, close it most of the way, and start lowering it into the water.  The water pressure pushes the air out, and you finish closing the bag when it's mostly submerged.  I then hang the bag from a wire with clothespins, so the bag opening never goes into the water.

It's also very, very easy to adjust the temperature, and I only need to do this once, maybe twice if I'm anal-retentive or keeping the steak in the bath for an hour longer.
 
2013-03-19 06:28:55 PM

awalkingecho: I'm not about to splurge on that kitchen setup


You can do it with a decent digital thermometer (which you should already have), and a styrofoam beer cooler. Add in the torch for $20, and you're good.
 
2013-03-19 06:31:42 PM

Acharne: Nasty.

FTA: "steakhouse-quality char"  Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.

There was nothing in that article that made me want to eat that old meat. 61-day aged? Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty nasty.


You know how I know you've never had a good steak?
 
2013-03-19 06:33:19 PM

meat0918: But what if you like a well done steak?


You should probably kill yourself.
 
2013-03-19 06:33:21 PM

Acharne: Nasty.

FTA: "steakhouse-quality char"  Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.

There was nothing in that article that made me want to eat that old meat. 61-day aged? Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty nasty.


Stick to Cheetos, then.
 
2013-03-19 06:35:04 PM

Pete_T_Mann: Osomatic: Kenji is pretty much the man when it comes to food science.

Ah, ok, that guy is on Americas Test Kitchen.

Its an interesting idea, but I'd just finish by grilling over natural chunk charcoal. Maybe you lose dripping and such, but the grilled flavor it gives trumps any of that. That kind of charcoal gets so hot that its not too far from a propane torch, anyway, so it doesn't need too long.


At grilling temps (vs. much lower smoking temp), the source of heat is irrelevant be it charcoal or gas. The wood aromatics have long since vaporized and can't contribute flavor. The drippings themselves which smolder and smoke provide the interesting new flavors.
 
2013-03-19 06:36:33 PM
I just wrap a steak up in foil, chuck it on the exhaust manifold, drive to work. I let it sit out there all day until I drive home. Once I get home I have a cooked steak. You guys just don't know what the hell you're doing.
 
2013-03-19 06:40:51 PM

meat0918: But what if you like a well done steak?  This might be the worst possible steak ever then.


If you like your steak well-done, you're just a bad person. Which means you deserve to not enjoy this recipe.

As for hacking a water bath to the right temperature, I found that my slow-cooker, on low, with the top on, gets me a 137 degree water bath (YMMV, it takes some experimentation). Perfect for medium-rare. Rest of the method is the same as how  Xcott lists above; lower meat+bag, seal bag, let sit in bath for several hours. Sear and om nom nom.
 
2013-03-19 06:45:41 PM

meat0918: But what if you like a well done steak?  This might be the worst possible steak ever then.


See Hank Hill's advice.
 
2013-03-19 06:49:36 PM
He cooks with an electric range.

I am not sure I trust his opinions.
 
2013-03-19 06:49:39 PM

awalkingecho: Acharne: Nasty.

FTA: "steakhouse-quality char"  Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.

There was nothing in that article that made me want to eat that old meat. 61-day aged? Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty nasty.

You know how I know you've never had a good steak?


A good steak is still mooing when you slice it off the cow.
 
2013-03-19 06:52:06 PM

Smeggy Smurf: awalkingecho: Acharne: Nasty.

FTA: "steakhouse-quality char"  Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.

There was nothing in that article that made me want to eat that old meat. 61-day aged? Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty nasty.

You know how I know you've never had a good steak?

A good steak is still mooing when you slice it off the cow.


You must own a slaughterhouse then. Otherwise you've never experienced that.
 
2013-03-19 06:52:48 PM

Krieghund: That looks delicious! Pass the ketchup!


Your dog wants
www.jokeoverflow.comwww.truffleshuffle.co.uk
 
2013-03-19 06:52:58 PM

awalkingecho: Smeggy Smurf: awalkingecho: Acharne: Nasty.

FTA: "steakhouse-quality char"  Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.

There was nothing in that article that made me want to eat that old meat. 61-day aged? Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty nasty.

You know how I know you've never had a good steak?

A good steak is still mooing when you slice it off the cow.

You must own a slaughterhouse then. Otherwise you've never experienced that.


Nah.  I just like to know my meat was murdered.  Tasty murder.
 
2013-03-19 06:53:22 PM
I went to a nationally known steakhouse several years back and had a dry aged rib-eye for the first time.  All I had to say was, "meh".  I'd rather had two usda prime steaks for the price of the one dry aged

/30 years in the food biz
 
JVD
2013-03-19 06:55:44 PM
I've never had a problem with a the ribeye steaks I get from the butcher. Let them get up to room temp, a little salt and pepper and onto the charcoal grill. Medium rare is my favorite. The Alton Brown oven method is good too if I don't feel like getting the grill going.

Steak sauce and anything cooked over medium are crimes against humanity.
 
2013-03-19 06:58:14 PM

JVD: I've never had a problem with a the ribeye steaks I get from the butcher. Let them get up to room temp, a little salt and pepper and onto the charcoal grill. Medium rare is my favorite. The Alton Brown oven method is good too if I don't feel like getting the grill going.

Steak sauce and anything cooked over medium are crimes against humanity.


I've had a good house-made steak sauce on occasion in fine steakhouses but typically one shouldn't so much as think about it. The only thing that goes on my steak besides more steak is steak butter, if I'm looking for any kind of change.
 
2013-03-19 06:59:24 PM

Krieghund: That looks delicious! Pass the ketchup!


images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-03-19 07:01:24 PM
Well that article certainly got the juices flowing.

/so much a bookmark
 
2013-03-19 07:01:42 PM
Subby here, and I agree, other than overcooking it, it's pretty farking difficult to seriously screw up a steak.  Hell, if John Madden can come up with a good steak recipe, then I have hope for anyone who doesn't think shoe leather is the proper desired texture for your food.

That said, it's the combination of all of this that just looks like a helluva way to make it happen, from the at-home dry-aging of the meat to using a blowtorch in the kitchen.  The only way this ends both badly and without being the subject of a future fark article is if you somehow screw up the sous vide process so badly that you die of food poisoning.  Any other way ends up with either a delicious fine-dining steakhouse dinner, or by a house fire started by a blowtorch explosion.
 
2013-03-19 07:02:57 PM

KrustyKitten: USDA prime


Watubi: usda prime


You mean the USDA that legally prohibited ranches from testing their own cows for disease?  That USDA?
 
2013-03-19 07:03:03 PM

FacelessDevil30: Subby here, and I agree, other than overcooking it, it's pretty farking difficult to seriously screw up a steak.  Hell, if John Madden can come up with a good steak recipe, then I have hope for anyone who doesn't think shoe leather is the proper desired texture for your food.

That said, it's the combination of all of this that just looks like a helluva way to make it happen, from the at-home dry-aging of the meat to using a blowtorch in the kitchen.  The only way this ends both badly and without being the subject of a future fark article is if you somehow screw up the sous vide process so badly that you die of food poisoning.  Any other way ends up with either a delicious fine-dining steakhouse dinner, or by a house fire started by a blowtorch explosion.


You'd have a hard time dying screwing up the sous vide if you go ahead and finish the steak by searing; most of the bacteria is on the exterior of a steak, which is why it's safe to eat at rare temperatures.
 
2013-03-19 07:05:13 PM

Watubi: I went to a nationally known steakhouse several years back and had a dry aged rib-eye for the first time.  All I had to say was, "meh".  I'd rather had two usda prime steaks for the price of the one dry aged

/30 years in the food biz


The best steak I ever had was from an hole in the wall Italian farmhouse style restaurant that has six tables in it. I've had some good steaks from well respected steakhouses, but never one that makes your cry because it's so good.
 
2013-03-19 07:05:32 PM

FacelessDevil30: The only way this ends both badly and without being the subject of a future fark article is if you somehow screw up the sous vide process so badly that you die of food poisoning.


Unless you're old or have AIDS or buy Tesco Value "Beef", it's pretty hard to screw up sous-vide badly enough for it to be the same kind of health risk as, say, reheating rice. Those big long scary safety instructions are just because the FDA prefers processes that are still safe even when screwed up by minimum wage McEmployees.
 
2013-03-19 07:05:54 PM

Watubi: I went to a nationally known steakhouse several years back and had a dry aged rib-eye for the first time.  All I had to say was, "meh".  I'd rather had two usda prime steaks for the price of the one dry aged

/30 years in the food biz


Most, if not all, steaks are aged for a bit, simply because of rigor mortis.
 
2013-03-19 07:07:01 PM

Pete_T_Mann: Osomatic: Kenji is pretty much the man when it comes to food science.

Ah, ok, that guy is on Americas Test Kitchen.

Its an interesting idea, but I'd just finish by grilling over natural chunk charcoal. Maybe you lose dripping and such, but the grilled flavor it gives trumps any of that. That kind of charcoal gets so hot that its not too far from a propane torch, anyway, so it doesn't need too long.


Actually he's not on ATK any more, though there is still at least one episode out there with him in it.  He worked for Cook's for some time, apparently, but hasn't worked there in a few years.  He's been doing his food science thing at Serious Eats for a while, though, and he definitely knows his stuff.
 
2013-03-19 07:07:50 PM

awalkingecho: Acharne: Nasty.

FTA: "steakhouse-quality char"  Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.

There was nothing in that article that made me want to eat that old meat. 61-day aged? Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty nasty.

You know how I know you've never had a good steak?


No, how?
 
2013-03-19 07:08:26 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: Acharne: Nasty.

FTA: "steakhouse-quality char"  Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.

There was nothing in that article that made me want to eat that old meat. 61-day aged? Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty nasty.

Stick to Cheetos, then.


Not a terrible suggestion.
 
2013-03-19 07:09:00 PM

FacelessDevil30: Subby here, and I agree, other than overcooking it, it's pretty farking difficult to seriously screw up a steak.  Hell, if John Madden can come up with a good steak recipe, then I have hope for anyone who doesn't think shoe leather is the proper desired texture for your food.

That said, it's the combination of all of this that just looks like a helluva way to make it happen, from the at-home dry-aging of the meat to using a blowtorch in the kitchen.  The only way this ends both badly and without being the subject of a future fark article is if you somehow screw up the sous vide process so badly that you die of food poisoning.  Any other way ends up with either a delicious fine-dining steakhouse dinner, or by a house fire started by a blowtorch explosion.


For the purposes of cooking, killing bacteria can work two ways:

- High heat for a short time.
- Medium heat for a long time.

Anyhow at 130F for 12 hours you'd have killed all the buggers.
 
2013-03-19 07:10:06 PM

Osomatic: Pete_T_Mann: Osomatic: Kenji is pretty much the man when it comes to food science.

Ah, ok, that guy is on Americas Test Kitchen.

Its an interesting idea, but I'd just finish by grilling over natural chunk charcoal. Maybe you lose dripping and such, but the grilled flavor it gives trumps any of that. That kind of charcoal gets so hot that its not too far from a propane torch, anyway, so it doesn't need too long.

Actually he's not on ATK any more, though there is still at least one episode out there with him in it.  He worked for Cook's for some time, apparently, but hasn't worked there in a few years.  He's been doing his food science thing at Serious Eats for a while, though, and he definitely knows his stuff.


He shows up every now and then.  He did a fabulous burger recipe that I'd love to try but I'm too lazy.
 
2013-03-19 07:10:49 PM
How to cook a farking steak:

http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-farking-steak

(fark filter may have altered url. You know what it's supposed to say)
 
2013-03-19 07:14:10 PM

Shazam999: Osomatic: Pete_T_Mann: Osomatic: Kenji is pretty much the man when it comes to food science.

Ah, ok, that guy is on Americas Test Kitchen.

Its an interesting idea, but I'd just finish by grilling over natural chunk charcoal. Maybe you lose dripping and such, but the grilled flavor it gives trumps any of that. That kind of charcoal gets so hot that its not too far from a propane torch, anyway, so it doesn't need too long.

Actually he's not on ATK any more, though there is still at least one episode out there with him in it.  He worked for Cook's for some time, apparently, but hasn't worked there in a few years.  He's been doing his food science thing at Serious Eats for a while, though, and he definitely knows his stuff.

He shows up every now and then.  He did a fabulous burger recipe that I'd love to try but I'm too lazy.


Yep, that's the one.  I'm too lazy to do that burger recipe too.  I'm also too lazy to do this steak, frankly, when I can get results I'm perfectly happy with in about 10 minutes and using one cast-iron skillet.  That said, a dry-aged steak at a good steakhouse is a thing of joy and beauty, and I imagine this method gets you pretty damn close to that.
 
2013-03-19 07:19:46 PM

The_Philosopher_King: He cooks with an electric range.

I am not sure I trust his opinions.


Apartment dwellers don't get a choice on cooking ranges. And sometimes you can't get gas in some neighborhoods.
 
2013-03-19 07:22:33 PM

Theaetetus: Yum, well done steaks with a raw center! It's like a hockey puck crossed with sushi!


carryover cooking brings it up to 120º or so, which is rare - how any decent steak should be served.

but enjoy your steak chaussure.
 
2013-03-19 07:24:31 PM

KrustyKitten: That is my method except i let the temp get to 118 before i remove from the oven and I don't bother with the extra calories i'd get from the deglazing but
YUM.


i used to pull mine at around 120º or even 118º, but they'd still end up medium rare. so i've been going lower and lower...

then again, i do like tartare.
 
2013-03-19 07:25:56 PM

TofuTheAlmighty: Pete_T_Mann: Osomatic: Kenji is pretty much the man when it comes to food science.

Ah, ok, that guy is on Americas Test Kitchen.

Its an interesting idea, but I'd just finish by grilling over natural chunk charcoal. Maybe you lose dripping and such, but the grilled flavor it gives trumps any of that. That kind of charcoal gets so hot that its not too far from a propane torch, anyway, so it doesn't need too long.

At grilling temps (vs. much lower smoking temp), the source of heat is irrelevant be it charcoal or gas. The wood aromatics have long since vaporized and can't contribute flavor. The drippings themselves which smolder and smoke provide the interesting new flavors.


I'm going to have to disagree with you, there is defiantly a flavor difference between gas vs grilled with briquettes vs grilled with chunk charcoal, chunk charcoal being the best. Briquettes do leave kind of a nasty flavor. I'd heard that they did, but I thought it was pretentious foodie BS till I tried chunk.
 
2013-03-19 07:29:44 PM

Osomatic: Shazam999: Osomatic: Pete_T_Mann: Osomatic: Kenji is pretty much the man when it comes to food science.

Ah, ok, that guy is on Americas Test Kitchen.

Its an interesting idea, but I'd just finish by grilling over natural chunk charcoal. Maybe you lose dripping and such, but the grilled flavor it gives trumps any of that. That kind of charcoal gets so hot that its not too far from a propane torch, anyway, so it doesn't need too long.

Actually he's not on ATK any more, though there is still at least one episode out there with him in it.  He worked for Cook's for some time, apparently, but hasn't worked there in a few years.  He's been doing his food science thing at Serious Eats for a while, though, and he definitely knows his stuff.

He shows up every now and then.  He did a fabulous burger recipe that I'd love to try but I'm too lazy.

Yep, that's the one.  I'm too lazy to do that burger recipe too.  I'm also too lazy to do this steak, frankly, when I can get results I'm perfectly happy with in about 10 minutes and using one cast-iron skillet.  That said, a dry-aged steak at a good steakhouse is a thing of joy and beauty, and I imagine this method gets you pretty damn close to that.


I mainly remember him from the quick red sauce recipe, the one with the grated onions. I've used that on pizzas a few times. I remember the burger one, too, now that its been mentioned. Haven't tried it either.
 
2013-03-19 07:32:42 PM

Shazam999: Anyhow at 130F for 12 hours you'd have killed all the buggers.


Dude, I can think of mammals that don't die at 130F for 12 hours.  As far as bacteria go, you're not killing squat.

There are two reasons why rare steak is safe to eat.  One, as others have mentioned, most of the bacteria and contamination is on the outside that is seared at very high temperatures.  Two, most bacteria is benign.  When you get food poisoning, it's often because the food was left out AND mishandled.  For example, E. coli lives in only one place -- in the lower intestines of mammals.  You shouldn't get E. coli infection from a steak if you left it out on the kitchen counter for a year and ate it raw.  The only way E. coli gets on the meat is if the meat is contaminated with shiat.  When some burger joints in my home state some years back got in trouble because of E. coli infections, what the media very carefully avoided mentioning was that the infections were proof that the customers were literally eating shiat.  Now all fast food joints thoroughly cook beef -- because all fast food beef is contaminated with shiat.  A properly prepared steak from a healthy cow can be eaten raw.  You shouldn't get food poisoning, though you might get tapeworms.
 
2013-03-19 07:34:08 PM

dragonchild: KrustyKitten: USDA prime

Watubi: usda prime

You mean the USDA that legally prohibited ranches from testing their own cows for disease?  That USDA?


To be fair, I believe that ranchers can test their own cows.  They just can not make the results public.  Only the USDA can do that.  Yes, that USDA
 
2013-03-19 07:34:25 PM

Smeggy Smurf: awalkingecho: Smeggy Smurf: awalkingecho: Acharne: Nasty.

FTA: "steakhouse-quality char"  Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.

There was nothing in that article that made me want to eat that old meat. 61-day aged? Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty nasty.

You know how I know you've never had a good steak?

A good steak is still mooing when you slice it off the cow.

You must own a slaughterhouse then. Otherwise you've never experienced that.

Nah.  I just like to know my meat was murdered.  Tasty murder.


The steak was so rare it started eating your salad?
 
2013-03-19 07:36:41 PM

dragonchild:  You shouldn't get food poisoning, though you might get tapeworms.


Some people like unconventional pets.
 
2013-03-19 07:48:29 PM

MaxxLarge: It does look awesome, and obviously the science is rock-solid...but I'm sorry. I don't care if it's the single most perfect, orgasmic, indulgently over-the-top piece of meat in the universe - I am NOT spending twelve hours and a few hundred bucks just to cook a goddamned steak.



Kind of like how I feel about America's Test Kitchen. If you follow their recipes faithfully you will make some of the best meals you've ever had..... but you'll need to order a pizza because it's going to take so farking long to cook. They can turn some of the simplest dishes in to 3 hour long ordeals.... Damn tasty stuff though. They really know what they're doing.
 
2013-03-19 07:51:49 PM

r1niceboy: dragonchild:  You shouldn't get food poisoning, though you might get tapeworms.

Some people like unconventional pets.


You can buy a tapeworm farm on the Home Shopping Network, though.
 
2013-03-19 07:53:28 PM
MEAT.
www.filmsquish.com
MEAT.

/MEAT
 
2013-03-19 07:54:01 PM
I like A1 on steaks. I also like dressing on salad. You'll get over it.
 
2013-03-19 07:56:59 PM

nirwana: I like A1 on steaks. I also like dressing on salad. You'll get over it.


Salads don't come with dressing. Steaks come with sauce. It's called blood.
 
2013-03-19 07:57:18 PM
Why all the effort to cook the whole thing through thoroughly? Only the outside of a steak needs to be cooked (so long as the meat hasn't been punctured, pushing pathogens on the surface inward) and it's better that way. At least if you enjoy the flavor of beef and nice char, and not just char.
 
2013-03-19 08:00:22 PM

nirwana: I like A1 on steaks. I also like dressing on salad. You'll get over it.


You should try making an whiskey onion sauce.

2 Tps butter melted
Sautee a diced onion for a bit
Add 1/4 cup whiskey.  I like using Black velvet toasted caramel
Simmer for a bit
Add 1/4 cup beef stock
Simmer for a bit
Add 1/4 light cream
Simmer until it starts to thicken
Add over steak
Eat
Realize you didn't make enough
Make enough next time
buy me a beer in thanks if we ever meet
 
2013-03-19 08:06:39 PM
imageshack.us
 
2013-03-19 08:10:15 PM
www.nobodygoeshere.com
 
2013-03-19 08:29:58 PM
While I'm normally a sucker for a good steak, tonight is all about Andouille.  Fresh out of the smoker:

i910.photobucket.com

/why you staring at my sausage?
 
2013-03-19 08:31:59 PM

TofuTheAlmighty: The best method to cook a steak without resorting to a water bath:
1) Allow steak to warm to room temp.
2) Preheat your cast iron skillet in 500 degree oven 15 minutes.
3) Salt and pepper your steak. Kosher and fresh-cracked is best. (Don't salt it more than 10 minutes before you start cooking it, though, otherwise the meat will be toughened by the salt drawing out moisture.)
4) Cook steak in oven (in glassware), time dependent on how raw you like it. 5 minutes will probably do you for med rare.
5) Put skillet over high heat, get oil smoking (I prefer peanut, it has a high smoke point) then sear your steak. Flip every 10-15 seconds. Searing should take about 2-3 minutes total.
6) Let steak rest 3-5 minutes.I prefer my steaks blue so I forego any oven cooking. And rely solely on the skillet


Agree on the room temp, but disagree on the timing of salting. Getting the steak up to room temperature cuts about 1/3 of the temperature rise you need(70-130 instead of 40-130) which greatly speeds the cooking of the inside resulting in a more even doneness.  But you actually achieve a lot by presalting.  There is a window where it's not good (anything under an hour but over ~5 minutes) but otherwise if you salt early you allow for the salt to permeate the steak and tenderize it as well.  I tend to do about a day, but I've heard of people doing 3-4.  After the salt initially draws out moisture, it then gets reabsorbed and starts to break down some of the muscle fibers.  The result is a more tender steak that is seasoned all the way through instead of just the outside.

Lately I've been cooking chuck steaks which are pretty cheap but can be tough.  They are flavorful though because they come from a well used muscle, so after a day presalting they cook up to have a nice beefy flavor and are about the toughness of a NY strip.
 
2013-03-19 08:34:17 PM
Step 1: Drive to Montreal
Step 2: Make a reservation at Queue Du Cheval
Step 3: Eat at Queue Du Cheval

Repeat
 
2013-03-19 08:39:20 PM
I'm looking so forward to the slow increase of salmonella & bacterial illnesses thanks to improperly handled home sous vide experiments.
 
2013-03-19 09:13:25 PM

Krieghund: Pass the ketchup!


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-03-19 09:30:03 PM
img.photobucket.comCourtesy of the Fark store
 
2013-03-19 09:53:21 PM

dragonchild: Shazam999: Anyhow at 130F for 12 hours you'd have killed all the buggers.

Dude, I can think of mammals that don't die at 130F for 12 hours.  As far as bacteria go, you're not killing squat.

There are two reasons why rare steak is safe to eat.  One, as others have mentioned, most of the bacteria and contamination is on the outside that is seared at very high temperatures.  Two, most bacteria is benign.  When you get food poisoning, it's often because the food was left out AND mishandled.  For example, E. coli lives in only one place -- in the lower intestines of mammals.  You shouldn't get E. coli infection from a steak if you left it out on the kitchen counter for a year and ate it raw.  The only way E. coli gets on the meat is if the meat is contaminated with shiat.  When some burger joints in my home state some years back got in trouble because of E. coli infections, what the media very carefully avoided mentioning was that the infections were proof that the customers were literally eating shiat.  Now all fast food joints thoroughly cook beef -- because all fast food beef is contaminated with shiat.  A properly prepared steak from a healthy cow can be eaten raw.  You shouldn't get food poisoning, though you might get tapeworms.


I don't know where the hell you learned biology, but you should get a refund.

Anyhow, go take a look at the temperature chart...

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:PLcEgVPKgKkJ:ww w. fsis.usda.gov/OPPDE/rdad/FRPubs/97-013P/COMPLIANCE+GUIDELINES+FOR+RTE+ MEAT+AND+POULTRY.doc+usda+ecoli+temperature+chart&hl=en&gl=ca
 
2013-03-19 10:05:13 PM

awalkingecho: You'd have a hard time dying screwing up the sous vide if you go ahead and finish the steak by searing; most of the bacteria is on the exterior of a steak, which is why it's safe to eat at rare temperatures.


Gah... This is true, but also so, so wrong. "Most" of the bacteria is on the exterior of the steak, and you could sear it and be perfectly safe... or you could sous vide it at such a low temperature that you allow all of the stuff on the interior to thrive, and then searing it won't do anything.

Sous vide cooking is like using the Terminal or a bash prompt: you can make things incredibly better with little to no effort, or you could hose your system.
 
2013-03-19 10:10:45 PM

Shazam999: dragonchild: Shazam999: Anyhow at 130F for 12 hours you'd have killed all the buggers.

Dude, I can think of mammals that don't die at 130F for 12 hours.  As far as bacteria go, you're not killing squat.

There are two reasons why rare steak is safe to eat.  One, as others have mentioned, most of the bacteria and contamination is on the outside that is seared at very high temperatures.  Two, most bacteria is benign.  When you get food poisoning, it's often because the food was left out AND mishandled.  For example, E. coli lives in only one place -- in the lower intestines of mammals.  You shouldn't get E. coli infection from a steak if you left it out on the kitchen counter for a year and ate it raw.  The only way E. coli gets on the meat is if the meat is contaminated with shiat.  When some burger joints in my home state some years back got in trouble because of E. coli infections, what the media very carefully avoided mentioning was that the infections were proof that the customers were literally eating shiat.  Now all fast food joints thoroughly cook beef -- because all fast food beef is contaminated with shiat.  A properly prepared steak from a healthy cow can be eaten raw.  You shouldn't get food poisoning, though you might get tapeworms.

I don't know where the hell you learned biology, but you should get a refund.

Anyhow, go take a look at the temperature chart...

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:PLcEgVPKgKkJ:ww w. fsis.usda.gov/OPPDE/rdad/FRPubs/97-013P/COMPLIANCE+GUIDELINES+FOR+RTE+ MEAT+AND+POULTRY.doc+usda+ecoli+temperature+chart&hl=en&gl=ca


He's right. If you're cooking to 130F for a reasonable amount of time, then E. Coli is dead. Most of those microorganisms start dying at 120F... but it's a death curve - 120F for 1 second won't kill anything. For 1 minute, and you get a few. For half an hour, you get a bunch. For 12 hours, you're pretty good. And go up to 130F, and you can take some time off that.
 
2013-03-19 10:28:50 PM

brap: I don't have the patience for this sort of nonsense.


^ ^ ^ ^
 
2013-03-19 10:31:32 PM

MaxxLarge: It does look awesome, and obviously the science is rock-solid...but I'm sorry. I don't care if it's the single most perfect, orgasmic, indulgently over-the-top piece of meat in the universe - I am NOT spending twelve hours and a few hundred bucks just to cook a goddamned steak.


12 hours? A few hundred bucks? Apparently i didn't read the entire article. FTS.
 
2013-03-19 10:32:50 PM
dragonchild:  Dude, I can think of mammals that don't die at 130F for 12 hours.

Mammals have a system to regulate their body temperature.  If they reached an internal temperature of 130F they'd be dead pretty quickly.

That being said, you're right that an internal temperature of 130F is not for killing bacteria; it's just the approximate internal temperature at which meat is medium rare.
 
2013-03-19 10:35:07 PM

meat0918: But what if you like a well done steak?


Trick question. No one with taste buds likes a well done steak.
 
2013-03-19 10:43:31 PM

FlashHarry: here's a tip: DON'T F*CKING OVERCOOK IT. <snip>


FFS. Cut into it when you think it's getting done (no, that won't ruin it, despite what many will tell you; fark thermometers.). Does the color look right to you? Pink, pale red, bright red, whatthefarkever? Take it off the farking grill. Jesus Christ, this isn't rocket surgery, steak lovers.
 
2013-03-19 10:49:26 PM

Dr. Goldshnoz: Krieghund: Pass the ketchup!

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 259x195]


I watched my FIL put ketchup on a nice ribeye once.

I wanted to strangle him.
 
2013-03-19 10:59:06 PM
Cue the "...love this thread so much..." jpeg, because I do.
 
2013-03-19 11:17:00 PM

John Buck 41: FlashHarry: here's a tip: DON'T F*CKING OVERCOOK IT. <snip>

FFS. Cut into it when you think it's getting done (no, that won't ruin it, despite what many will tell you; fark thermometers.). Does the color look right to you? Pink, pale red, bright red, whatthefarkever? Take it off the farking grill. Jesus Christ, this isn't rocket surgery, steak lovers.


If you can't pick up a steak with tongs and tell by the flex exactly how done it is, you should probably stick to burgers.
 
2013-03-19 11:19:39 PM

Theaetetus: awalkingecho: You'd have a hard time dying screwing up the sous vide if you go ahead and finish the steak by searing; most of the bacteria is on the exterior of a steak, which is why it's safe to eat at rare temperatures.

Gah... This is true, but also so, so wrong. "Most" of the bacteria is on the exterior of the steak, and you could sear it and be perfectly safe... or you could sous vide it at such a low temperature that you allow all of the stuff on the interior to thrive, and then searing it won't do anything.

Sous vide cooking is like using the Terminal or a bash prompt: you can make things incredibly better with little to no effort, or you could hose your system.


I'm currently shell scripting, so I'm getting a kick...
 
2013-03-19 11:19:55 PM

karmaceutical: John Buck 41: FlashHarry: here's a tip: DON'T F*CKING OVERCOOK IT. <snip>

FFS. Cut into it when you think it's getting done (no, that won't ruin it, despite what many will tell you; fark thermometers.). Does the color look right to you? Pink, pale red, bright red, whatthefarkever? Take it off the farking grill. Jesus Christ, this isn't rocket surgery, steak lovers.

If you can't pick up a steak with tongs and tell by the flex exactly how done it is, you should probably stick to burgers.


Want me to bow down to you?

Not gonna happen.
 
2013-03-19 11:23:42 PM

Smeggy Smurf: No matter how you cook the steak it still winds up as a turd.  Cook it however you want.


You sound English
 
2013-03-19 11:28:28 PM

Brainsick: Smeggy Smurf: No matter how you cook the steak it still winds up as a turd.  Cook it however you want.

You sound English


Nah.  I don't give a rats ass if you ruin your food.  You will however be mocked for it.
 
2013-03-19 11:42:03 PM
Finally read TFA and went thru the slideshow. What a load of pretentious bullshiat.
 
2013-03-20 12:01:06 AM

karmaceutical: John Buck 41: FlashHarry: here's a tip: DON'T F*CKING OVERCOOK IT. <snip>

FFS. Cut into it when you think it's getting done (no, that won't ruin it, despite what many will tell you; fark thermometers.). Does the color look right to you? Pink, pale red, bright red, whatthefarkever? Take it off the farking grill. Jesus Christ, this isn't rocket surgery, steak lovers.

If you can't pick up a steak with tongs and tell by the flex exactly how done it is, you should probably stick to burgers.


You need to pick it up?
 
2013-03-20 12:15:31 AM

Theaetetus: FlashHarry: sear them on the first side for three minutes or until they're deep brownturn them over and sear the other side for two minsinsert leave-in meat thermometer into the middle of one of the steaks, set it for 110ºput skillet in the oven and cook until the target temp is reached

Yum, well done steaks with a raw center! It's like a hockey puck crossed with sushi!


.... who hurt you? Who hurt you like this!? TELL ME HIS NAME!

/That is a great way  to make a good steak so long as you don't mind your house becoming a fogbank
 
2013-03-20 12:19:46 AM

Farnn: karmaceutical: John Buck 41: FlashHarry: here's a tip: DON'T F*CKING OVERCOOK IT. <snip>

FFS. Cut into it when you think it's getting done (no, that won't ruin it, despite what many will tell you; fark thermometers.). Does the color look right to you? Pink, pale red, bright red, whatthefarkever? Take it off the farking grill. Jesus Christ, this isn't rocket surgery, steak lovers.

If you can't pick up a steak with tongs and tell by the flex exactly how done it is, you should probably stick to burgers.

You need to pick it up?


No, not really... some cuts are squishier than others though.
 
2013-03-20 12:20:21 AM

dragonchild: You mean the USDA that legally prohibited ranches from testing their own cows for disease? That USDA?


fark off, we're talking steak.
 
2013-03-20 12:39:51 AM
While the steak in the article looks good, it seems like way too much cooking for a steak. But then again, I don't mind if my steak moos a little bit when I cut into it, that's how rare I like it.

/bloody as hell
 
2013-03-20 01:24:48 AM
Hit cow over head with brick. Wipe shot off its ass. Drag near a fire once per side. Eat up.
 
2013-03-20 04:20:44 AM

Theaetetus: MaxxLarge: It does look awesome, and obviously the science is rock-solid...but I'm sorry. I don't care if it's the single most perfect, orgasmic, indulgently over-the-top piece of meat in the universe - I am NOT spending twelve hours and a few hundred bucks just to cook a goddamned steak.

Most of that time, you're not doing anything. I regularly cook sous vide, and it's simple. I fill the bath with the hottest water I can get from the sink, takes 2-3 minutes. Bath goes on and is up to temp within 5 minutes, during which time I season and bag the meat. It goes into the bath, and then I'm done for a few hours. Do work, go out, etc. Whatever. Total time spent is around 5 minutes.
At dinner time, heat up the skillet with some oil. Meat comes out of the bath, cut the bag open and pat it dry. Skillet's ready, so toss in the meat. Flip a few times getting a nice sear, and it's done. About another 5 minutes total, from the time the skillet goes on the flame. Or use the blow torch, and that step is only about 2 minutes.
So you've spent 7-10 minutes, total. Same as you would to grill a streak or pan fry one, but now your steak is better.

Plus, since the active times are so separated, you can easily make sides before you ever remove the meat from the bath, and now you're not trying to scramble with three things going simultaneously and worrying about overcooking your steak.


Excellent! My work here was done before I arrived!

Anyone saying sous vide is "too much trouble" has never eaten a perfectly cooked steak. Plus, that water bath has ENDLESS applications for other foods. Properly utilized, it can save you hundreds of hours in the kitchen over the course of its life.

Do it, and chuckle as you watch your "grill master" father-in-law turn himself inside out trying to figure out how you got a ribeye exactly Med Rare all the way through. Priceless.
 
2013-03-20 04:22:56 AM

Copper Spork: I disagree with their choice of 130F for the sous vide. If you're cooking for six to eight hours, 57C gives you better texture than 54C. 130F is slightly too cold. Yes, it will look pinker, and so will keep the "all steaks should be rare" crew off your back, but sous vide doesn't kill the moisture so you don't need to serve it quite so raw.


Also, I second this excellent piece of advice.
 
2013-03-20 04:28:25 AM

Acharne: Nasty.

FTA: "steakhouse-quality char"  Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.

There was nothing in that article that made me want to eat that old meat. 61-day aged? Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty nasty.


LOL...psssst...Nobody tell Acharne that the way to tell if a steak has been properly aged is to make sure it smells like cheese.
 
2013-03-20 04:49:43 AM

Farnn: karmaceutical: John Buck 41: FlashHarry: here's a tip: DON'T F*CKING OVERCOOK IT. <snip>

FFS. Cut into it when you think it's getting done (no, that won't ruin it, despite what many will tell you; fark thermometers.). Does the color look right to you? Pink, pale red, bright red, whatthefarkever? Take it off the farking grill. Jesus Christ, this isn't rocket surgery, steak lovers.

If you can't pick up a steak with tongs and tell by the flex exactly how done it is, you should probably stick to burgers.

You need to pick it up?


Nah, you can just poke it with your finger. Here's the rule of thumb:

Lightly touch your thumb to the tip of your index finger. Poke the meaty bit below your thumb with your other index finger. Repeat, moving thumb to middle, ring, pinky.

Your steak will feel roughly like #1 at rare, #2 at med rare, #3 at med, and #4 at med well.
 
2013-03-20 11:34:44 AM
Kenji is a farking dork.  I am sure that he likes to self-identify as a "scientist" more than he actually applies the scientific method.  Did anyone actually read his article on dry aging beef?  He just seems to have made shiat up as he went along.
 
2013-03-20 12:50:26 PM

Theaetetus: Most of that time, you're not doing anything. I regularly cook sous vide, and it's simple. I fill the bath with the hottest water I can get from the sink, takes 2-3 minutes. Bath goes on and is up to temp within 5 minutes, during which time I season and bag the meat. It goes into the bath, and then I'm done for a few hours. Do work, go out, etc. Whatever. Total time spent is around 5 minutes.


It's also pretty tidy and out of the way.  I fill up my cooler from the basement tap, so I just leave it down there rather than lugging up to the kitchen.  There's no clutter in the kitchen, and clean-up consists of throwing away a Ziploc bag.

Also, since you can leave the meat in the bath, the preparation can happen whenever you have a free moment, and the stove part can happen whenever people are ready to eat.  It's great if you have family members who suddenly have to run back to work for an hour because a -80 freezer broke.

For those who think sous vide is "spending 12 hours to cook a steak" --- first, this is a failure of reading comprehension.  TFA says about an hour, not 12 hours.  Second, the bath time doesn't involve you, and it's not "spending" time.  It's like marinating meat in the fridge.  If you marinate a brisket overnight, do you act like you spent 12 hours cooking?
 
2013-03-20 02:42:02 PM
Well, I like the idea of low and slow then finishing with a sear, that seems like something worth trying. But the rest of it is just what you can be bothered with. You can go low and slow by starting your steak off to one side on the grill, by cooking it sous vide, by putting it in the oven, or if you like it raw and bloody like me, by letting it warm up to room temperature. Then you can put the high heat to it with a cast iron pan, with some super hot coals, a blow torch, or putting it under a sufficiently hot broiler. The differences between these methods are basically a matter of personal taste and skill. That's also a good tip about the salt - sometimes I use that Montreal Steak Seasoning stuff, it probably needs to go on just as long before as the salt does.

Pro tip on cooking a steak entirely on your grill: Set the thing up like you're doing ribs. Load up one side of the kettle with coals, then low and slow your steaks on the other side. Meanwhile, get another load of coals going in your chimney to add when the steak is up to temp, then dump them in right before you sear it. This is also a good way to do it if you're doing other stuff besides steaks on your grill at the same time - you can cook the other stuff on the hot side while your steaks are warming up on the cool side, then pop in the fresh coals to finish anything off on the cool side, like brats or burning in sauce for chicken or whatever. Don't put your chimney on concrete, though - use a brick paver or one of those terra cotta things you put underneath potted plants. The heat from the chimney will fsck up your concrete explodey style.
 
2013-03-20 03:09:48 PM

Z-clipped: Theaetetus: MaxxLarge: It does look awesome, and obviously the science is rock-solid...but I'm sorry. I don't care if it's the single most perfect, orgasmic, indulgently over-the-top piece of meat in the universe - I am NOT spending twelve hours and a few hundred bucks just to cook a goddamned steak.

Most of that time, you're not doing anything. I regularly cook sous vide, and it's simple. I fill the bath with the hottest water I can get from the sink, takes 2-3 minutes. Bath goes on and is up to temp within 5 minutes, during which time I season and bag the meat. It goes into the bath, and then I'm done for a few hours. Do work, go out, etc. Whatever. Total time spent is around 5 minutes.
At dinner time, heat up the skillet with some oil. Meat comes out of the bath, cut the bag open and pat it dry. Skillet's ready, so toss in the meat. Flip a few times getting a nice sear, and it's done. About another 5 minutes total, from the time the skillet goes on the flame. Or use the blow torch, and that step is only about 2 minutes.
So you've spent 7-10 minutes, total. Same as you would to grill a streak or pan fry one, but now your steak is better.

Plus, since the active times are so separated, you can easily make sides before you ever remove the meat from the bath, and now you're not trying to scramble with three things going simultaneously and worrying about overcooking your steak.

Excellent! My work here was done before I arrived!

Anyone saying sous vide is "too much trouble" has never eaten a perfectly cooked steak. Plus, that water bath has ENDLESS applications for other foods. Properly utilized, it can save you hundreds of hours in the kitchen over the course of its life.

Do it, and chuckle as you watch your "grill master" father-in-law turn himself inside out trying to figure out how you got a ribeye exactly Med Rare all the way through. Priceless.


As for the FIL bit, I would pay to see that!!
 
2013-03-22 08:58:10 PM
If you cook a decent cut of beef beyond med rare, you're a heathen scum unwashed infidel.
 
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