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(Serious Eats)   Want a steak so good, your dog will murder you in your sleep for it? Here comes the Food Science   (seriouseats.com) divider line 138
    More: Cool, food science, studios, rib eyes, murders, sleeps, dogs  
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13050 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Mar 2013 at 5:41 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-19 06:28:38 PM
Nasty.

FTA: "steakhouse-quality char"  Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.

There was nothing in that article that made me want to eat that old meat. 61-day aged? Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty nasty.
 
2013-03-19 06:28:44 PM

exvaxman: If you want to get into sous vide cheap without too much of a home brew, get the dorkfood controller from Amazon for $99 and it works with most things. My non-commercial sous vide unit is a $50 butterball turkey cooker (close out) with the controller. The commercial unit was 10x that cost, but not exponentially better.


There's an even cheaper and simpler method:  pour hot hot tap water into a cooler.   It's a cooler, so the temperature stays pretty stable for hours.

I started cooking steak using a 5-gallon Rubbermaid "gatorade dispenser" cooler.  If I fill it from my basement hot water tap, I easily get 130-140 degree water right off the bat.  It loses maybe 1-2 degrees per hour, plus whatever losses come from warming the steak (maybe another couple degrees total.)

You don't need a vacuum sealer, either:  just put the steak in a regular ziploc bag, close it most of the way, and start lowering it into the water.  The water pressure pushes the air out, and you finish closing the bag when it's mostly submerged.  I then hang the bag from a wire with clothespins, so the bag opening never goes into the water.

It's also very, very easy to adjust the temperature, and I only need to do this once, maybe twice if I'm anal-retentive or keeping the steak in the bath for an hour longer.
 
2013-03-19 06:28:55 PM

awalkingecho: I'm not about to splurge on that kitchen setup


You can do it with a decent digital thermometer (which you should already have), and a styrofoam beer cooler. Add in the torch for $20, and you're good.
 
2013-03-19 06:31:42 PM

Acharne: Nasty.

FTA: "steakhouse-quality char"  Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.

There was nothing in that article that made me want to eat that old meat. 61-day aged? Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty nasty.


You know how I know you've never had a good steak?
 
2013-03-19 06:33:19 PM

meat0918: But what if you like a well done steak?


You should probably kill yourself.
 
2013-03-19 06:33:21 PM

Acharne: Nasty.

FTA: "steakhouse-quality char"  Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.

There was nothing in that article that made me want to eat that old meat. 61-day aged? Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty nasty.


Stick to Cheetos, then.
 
2013-03-19 06:35:04 PM

Pete_T_Mann: Osomatic: Kenji is pretty much the man when it comes to food science.

Ah, ok, that guy is on Americas Test Kitchen.

Its an interesting idea, but I'd just finish by grilling over natural chunk charcoal. Maybe you lose dripping and such, but the grilled flavor it gives trumps any of that. That kind of charcoal gets so hot that its not too far from a propane torch, anyway, so it doesn't need too long.


At grilling temps (vs. much lower smoking temp), the source of heat is irrelevant be it charcoal or gas. The wood aromatics have long since vaporized and can't contribute flavor. The drippings themselves which smolder and smoke provide the interesting new flavors.
 
2013-03-19 06:36:33 PM
I just wrap a steak up in foil, chuck it on the exhaust manifold, drive to work. I let it sit out there all day until I drive home. Once I get home I have a cooked steak. You guys just don't know what the hell you're doing.
 
2013-03-19 06:40:51 PM

meat0918: But what if you like a well done steak?  This might be the worst possible steak ever then.


If you like your steak well-done, you're just a bad person. Which means you deserve to not enjoy this recipe.

As for hacking a water bath to the right temperature, I found that my slow-cooker, on low, with the top on, gets me a 137 degree water bath (YMMV, it takes some experimentation). Perfect for medium-rare. Rest of the method is the same as how  Xcott lists above; lower meat+bag, seal bag, let sit in bath for several hours. Sear and om nom nom.
 
2013-03-19 06:45:41 PM

meat0918: But what if you like a well done steak?  This might be the worst possible steak ever then.


See Hank Hill's advice.
 
2013-03-19 06:49:36 PM
He cooks with an electric range.

I am not sure I trust his opinions.
 
2013-03-19 06:49:39 PM

awalkingecho: Acharne: Nasty.

FTA: "steakhouse-quality char"  Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.

There was nothing in that article that made me want to eat that old meat. 61-day aged? Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty nasty.

You know how I know you've never had a good steak?


A good steak is still mooing when you slice it off the cow.
 
2013-03-19 06:52:06 PM

Smeggy Smurf: awalkingecho: Acharne: Nasty.

FTA: "steakhouse-quality char"  Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.

There was nothing in that article that made me want to eat that old meat. 61-day aged? Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty nasty.

You know how I know you've never had a good steak?

A good steak is still mooing when you slice it off the cow.


You must own a slaughterhouse then. Otherwise you've never experienced that.
 
2013-03-19 06:52:48 PM

Krieghund: That looks delicious! Pass the ketchup!


Your dog wants
www.jokeoverflow.comwww.truffleshuffle.co.uk
 
2013-03-19 06:52:58 PM

awalkingecho: Smeggy Smurf: awalkingecho: Acharne: Nasty.

FTA: "steakhouse-quality char"  Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.

There was nothing in that article that made me want to eat that old meat. 61-day aged? Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty nasty.

You know how I know you've never had a good steak?

A good steak is still mooing when you slice it off the cow.

You must own a slaughterhouse then. Otherwise you've never experienced that.


Nah.  I just like to know my meat was murdered.  Tasty murder.
 
2013-03-19 06:53:22 PM
I went to a nationally known steakhouse several years back and had a dry aged rib-eye for the first time.  All I had to say was, "meh".  I'd rather had two usda prime steaks for the price of the one dry aged

/30 years in the food biz
 
JVD
2013-03-19 06:55:44 PM
I've never had a problem with a the ribeye steaks I get from the butcher. Let them get up to room temp, a little salt and pepper and onto the charcoal grill. Medium rare is my favorite. The Alton Brown oven method is good too if I don't feel like getting the grill going.

Steak sauce and anything cooked over medium are crimes against humanity.
 
2013-03-19 06:58:14 PM

JVD: I've never had a problem with a the ribeye steaks I get from the butcher. Let them get up to room temp, a little salt and pepper and onto the charcoal grill. Medium rare is my favorite. The Alton Brown oven method is good too if I don't feel like getting the grill going.

Steak sauce and anything cooked over medium are crimes against humanity.


I've had a good house-made steak sauce on occasion in fine steakhouses but typically one shouldn't so much as think about it. The only thing that goes on my steak besides more steak is steak butter, if I'm looking for any kind of change.
 
2013-03-19 06:59:24 PM

Krieghund: That looks delicious! Pass the ketchup!


images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-03-19 07:01:24 PM
Well that article certainly got the juices flowing.

/so much a bookmark
 
2013-03-19 07:01:42 PM
Subby here, and I agree, other than overcooking it, it's pretty farking difficult to seriously screw up a steak.  Hell, if John Madden can come up with a good steak recipe, then I have hope for anyone who doesn't think shoe leather is the proper desired texture for your food.

That said, it's the combination of all of this that just looks like a helluva way to make it happen, from the at-home dry-aging of the meat to using a blowtorch in the kitchen.  The only way this ends both badly and without being the subject of a future fark article is if you somehow screw up the sous vide process so badly that you die of food poisoning.  Any other way ends up with either a delicious fine-dining steakhouse dinner, or by a house fire started by a blowtorch explosion.
 
2013-03-19 07:02:57 PM

KrustyKitten: USDA prime


Watubi: usda prime


You mean the USDA that legally prohibited ranches from testing their own cows for disease?  That USDA?
 
2013-03-19 07:03:03 PM

FacelessDevil30: Subby here, and I agree, other than overcooking it, it's pretty farking difficult to seriously screw up a steak.  Hell, if John Madden can come up with a good steak recipe, then I have hope for anyone who doesn't think shoe leather is the proper desired texture for your food.

That said, it's the combination of all of this that just looks like a helluva way to make it happen, from the at-home dry-aging of the meat to using a blowtorch in the kitchen.  The only way this ends both badly and without being the subject of a future fark article is if you somehow screw up the sous vide process so badly that you die of food poisoning.  Any other way ends up with either a delicious fine-dining steakhouse dinner, or by a house fire started by a blowtorch explosion.


You'd have a hard time dying screwing up the sous vide if you go ahead and finish the steak by searing; most of the bacteria is on the exterior of a steak, which is why it's safe to eat at rare temperatures.
 
2013-03-19 07:05:13 PM

Watubi: I went to a nationally known steakhouse several years back and had a dry aged rib-eye for the first time.  All I had to say was, "meh".  I'd rather had two usda prime steaks for the price of the one dry aged

/30 years in the food biz


The best steak I ever had was from an hole in the wall Italian farmhouse style restaurant that has six tables in it. I've had some good steaks from well respected steakhouses, but never one that makes your cry because it's so good.
 
2013-03-19 07:05:32 PM

FacelessDevil30: The only way this ends both badly and without being the subject of a future fark article is if you somehow screw up the sous vide process so badly that you die of food poisoning.


Unless you're old or have AIDS or buy Tesco Value "Beef", it's pretty hard to screw up sous-vide badly enough for it to be the same kind of health risk as, say, reheating rice. Those big long scary safety instructions are just because the FDA prefers processes that are still safe even when screwed up by minimum wage McEmployees.
 
2013-03-19 07:05:54 PM

Watubi: I went to a nationally known steakhouse several years back and had a dry aged rib-eye for the first time.  All I had to say was, "meh".  I'd rather had two usda prime steaks for the price of the one dry aged

/30 years in the food biz


Most, if not all, steaks are aged for a bit, simply because of rigor mortis.
 
2013-03-19 07:07:01 PM

Pete_T_Mann: Osomatic: Kenji is pretty much the man when it comes to food science.

Ah, ok, that guy is on Americas Test Kitchen.

Its an interesting idea, but I'd just finish by grilling over natural chunk charcoal. Maybe you lose dripping and such, but the grilled flavor it gives trumps any of that. That kind of charcoal gets so hot that its not too far from a propane torch, anyway, so it doesn't need too long.


Actually he's not on ATK any more, though there is still at least one episode out there with him in it.  He worked for Cook's for some time, apparently, but hasn't worked there in a few years.  He's been doing his food science thing at Serious Eats for a while, though, and he definitely knows his stuff.
 
2013-03-19 07:07:50 PM

awalkingecho: Acharne: Nasty.

FTA: "steakhouse-quality char"  Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.

There was nothing in that article that made me want to eat that old meat. 61-day aged? Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty nasty.

You know how I know you've never had a good steak?


No, how?
 
2013-03-19 07:08:26 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: Acharne: Nasty.

FTA: "steakhouse-quality char"  Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.

There was nothing in that article that made me want to eat that old meat. 61-day aged? Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty nasty.

Stick to Cheetos, then.


Not a terrible suggestion.
 
2013-03-19 07:09:00 PM

FacelessDevil30: Subby here, and I agree, other than overcooking it, it's pretty farking difficult to seriously screw up a steak.  Hell, if John Madden can come up with a good steak recipe, then I have hope for anyone who doesn't think shoe leather is the proper desired texture for your food.

That said, it's the combination of all of this that just looks like a helluva way to make it happen, from the at-home dry-aging of the meat to using a blowtorch in the kitchen.  The only way this ends both badly and without being the subject of a future fark article is if you somehow screw up the sous vide process so badly that you die of food poisoning.  Any other way ends up with either a delicious fine-dining steakhouse dinner, or by a house fire started by a blowtorch explosion.


For the purposes of cooking, killing bacteria can work two ways:

- High heat for a short time.
- Medium heat for a long time.

Anyhow at 130F for 12 hours you'd have killed all the buggers.
 
2013-03-19 07:10:06 PM

Osomatic: Pete_T_Mann: Osomatic: Kenji is pretty much the man when it comes to food science.

Ah, ok, that guy is on Americas Test Kitchen.

Its an interesting idea, but I'd just finish by grilling over natural chunk charcoal. Maybe you lose dripping and such, but the grilled flavor it gives trumps any of that. That kind of charcoal gets so hot that its not too far from a propane torch, anyway, so it doesn't need too long.

Actually he's not on ATK any more, though there is still at least one episode out there with him in it.  He worked for Cook's for some time, apparently, but hasn't worked there in a few years.  He's been doing his food science thing at Serious Eats for a while, though, and he definitely knows his stuff.


He shows up every now and then.  He did a fabulous burger recipe that I'd love to try but I'm too lazy.
 
2013-03-19 07:10:49 PM
How to cook a farking steak:

http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-farking-steak

(fark filter may have altered url. You know what it's supposed to say)
 
2013-03-19 07:14:10 PM

Shazam999: Osomatic: Pete_T_Mann: Osomatic: Kenji is pretty much the man when it comes to food science.

Ah, ok, that guy is on Americas Test Kitchen.

Its an interesting idea, but I'd just finish by grilling over natural chunk charcoal. Maybe you lose dripping and such, but the grilled flavor it gives trumps any of that. That kind of charcoal gets so hot that its not too far from a propane torch, anyway, so it doesn't need too long.

Actually he's not on ATK any more, though there is still at least one episode out there with him in it.  He worked for Cook's for some time, apparently, but hasn't worked there in a few years.  He's been doing his food science thing at Serious Eats for a while, though, and he definitely knows his stuff.

He shows up every now and then.  He did a fabulous burger recipe that I'd love to try but I'm too lazy.


Yep, that's the one.  I'm too lazy to do that burger recipe too.  I'm also too lazy to do this steak, frankly, when I can get results I'm perfectly happy with in about 10 minutes and using one cast-iron skillet.  That said, a dry-aged steak at a good steakhouse is a thing of joy and beauty, and I imagine this method gets you pretty damn close to that.
 
2013-03-19 07:19:46 PM

The_Philosopher_King: He cooks with an electric range.

I am not sure I trust his opinions.


Apartment dwellers don't get a choice on cooking ranges. And sometimes you can't get gas in some neighborhoods.
 
2013-03-19 07:22:33 PM

Theaetetus: Yum, well done steaks with a raw center! It's like a hockey puck crossed with sushi!


carryover cooking brings it up to 120º or so, which is rare - how any decent steak should be served.

but enjoy your steak chaussure.
 
2013-03-19 07:24:31 PM

KrustyKitten: That is my method except i let the temp get to 118 before i remove from the oven and I don't bother with the extra calories i'd get from the deglazing but
YUM.


i used to pull mine at around 120º or even 118º, but they'd still end up medium rare. so i've been going lower and lower...

then again, i do like tartare.
 
2013-03-19 07:25:56 PM

TofuTheAlmighty: Pete_T_Mann: Osomatic: Kenji is pretty much the man when it comes to food science.

Ah, ok, that guy is on Americas Test Kitchen.

Its an interesting idea, but I'd just finish by grilling over natural chunk charcoal. Maybe you lose dripping and such, but the grilled flavor it gives trumps any of that. That kind of charcoal gets so hot that its not too far from a propane torch, anyway, so it doesn't need too long.

At grilling temps (vs. much lower smoking temp), the source of heat is irrelevant be it charcoal or gas. The wood aromatics have long since vaporized and can't contribute flavor. The drippings themselves which smolder and smoke provide the interesting new flavors.


I'm going to have to disagree with you, there is defiantly a flavor difference between gas vs grilled with briquettes vs grilled with chunk charcoal, chunk charcoal being the best. Briquettes do leave kind of a nasty flavor. I'd heard that they did, but I thought it was pretentious foodie BS till I tried chunk.
 
2013-03-19 07:29:44 PM

Osomatic: Shazam999: Osomatic: Pete_T_Mann: Osomatic: Kenji is pretty much the man when it comes to food science.

Ah, ok, that guy is on Americas Test Kitchen.

Its an interesting idea, but I'd just finish by grilling over natural chunk charcoal. Maybe you lose dripping and such, but the grilled flavor it gives trumps any of that. That kind of charcoal gets so hot that its not too far from a propane torch, anyway, so it doesn't need too long.

Actually he's not on ATK any more, though there is still at least one episode out there with him in it.  He worked for Cook's for some time, apparently, but hasn't worked there in a few years.  He's been doing his food science thing at Serious Eats for a while, though, and he definitely knows his stuff.

He shows up every now and then.  He did a fabulous burger recipe that I'd love to try but I'm too lazy.

Yep, that's the one.  I'm too lazy to do that burger recipe too.  I'm also too lazy to do this steak, frankly, when I can get results I'm perfectly happy with in about 10 minutes and using one cast-iron skillet.  That said, a dry-aged steak at a good steakhouse is a thing of joy and beauty, and I imagine this method gets you pretty damn close to that.


I mainly remember him from the quick red sauce recipe, the one with the grated onions. I've used that on pizzas a few times. I remember the burger one, too, now that its been mentioned. Haven't tried it either.
 
2013-03-19 07:32:42 PM

Shazam999: Anyhow at 130F for 12 hours you'd have killed all the buggers.


Dude, I can think of mammals that don't die at 130F for 12 hours.  As far as bacteria go, you're not killing squat.

There are two reasons why rare steak is safe to eat.  One, as others have mentioned, most of the bacteria and contamination is on the outside that is seared at very high temperatures.  Two, most bacteria is benign.  When you get food poisoning, it's often because the food was left out AND mishandled.  For example, E. coli lives in only one place -- in the lower intestines of mammals.  You shouldn't get E. coli infection from a steak if you left it out on the kitchen counter for a year and ate it raw.  The only way E. coli gets on the meat is if the meat is contaminated with shiat.  When some burger joints in my home state some years back got in trouble because of E. coli infections, what the media very carefully avoided mentioning was that the infections were proof that the customers were literally eating shiat.  Now all fast food joints thoroughly cook beef -- because all fast food beef is contaminated with shiat.  A properly prepared steak from a healthy cow can be eaten raw.  You shouldn't get food poisoning, though you might get tapeworms.
 
2013-03-19 07:34:08 PM

dragonchild: KrustyKitten: USDA prime

Watubi: usda prime

You mean the USDA that legally prohibited ranches from testing their own cows for disease?  That USDA?


To be fair, I believe that ranchers can test their own cows.  They just can not make the results public.  Only the USDA can do that.  Yes, that USDA
 
2013-03-19 07:34:25 PM

Smeggy Smurf: awalkingecho: Smeggy Smurf: awalkingecho: Acharne: Nasty.

FTA: "steakhouse-quality char"  Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.

There was nothing in that article that made me want to eat that old meat. 61-day aged? Nasty. Nasty nasty nasty nasty.

You know how I know you've never had a good steak?

A good steak is still mooing when you slice it off the cow.

You must own a slaughterhouse then. Otherwise you've never experienced that.

Nah.  I just like to know my meat was murdered.  Tasty murder.


The steak was so rare it started eating your salad?
 
2013-03-19 07:36:41 PM

dragonchild:  You shouldn't get food poisoning, though you might get tapeworms.


Some people like unconventional pets.
 
2013-03-19 07:48:29 PM

MaxxLarge: It does look awesome, and obviously the science is rock-solid...but I'm sorry. I don't care if it's the single most perfect, orgasmic, indulgently over-the-top piece of meat in the universe - I am NOT spending twelve hours and a few hundred bucks just to cook a goddamned steak.



Kind of like how I feel about America's Test Kitchen. If you follow their recipes faithfully you will make some of the best meals you've ever had..... but you'll need to order a pizza because it's going to take so farking long to cook. They can turn some of the simplest dishes in to 3 hour long ordeals.... Damn tasty stuff though. They really know what they're doing.
 
2013-03-19 07:51:49 PM

r1niceboy: dragonchild:  You shouldn't get food poisoning, though you might get tapeworms.

Some people like unconventional pets.


You can buy a tapeworm farm on the Home Shopping Network, though.
 
2013-03-19 07:53:28 PM
MEAT.
www.filmsquish.com
MEAT.

/MEAT
 
2013-03-19 07:54:01 PM
I like A1 on steaks. I also like dressing on salad. You'll get over it.
 
2013-03-19 07:56:59 PM

nirwana: I like A1 on steaks. I also like dressing on salad. You'll get over it.


Salads don't come with dressing. Steaks come with sauce. It's called blood.
 
2013-03-19 07:57:18 PM
Why all the effort to cook the whole thing through thoroughly? Only the outside of a steak needs to be cooked (so long as the meat hasn't been punctured, pushing pathogens on the surface inward) and it's better that way. At least if you enjoy the flavor of beef and nice char, and not just char.
 
2013-03-19 08:00:22 PM

nirwana: I like A1 on steaks. I also like dressing on salad. You'll get over it.


You should try making an whiskey onion sauce.

2 Tps butter melted
Sautee a diced onion for a bit
Add 1/4 cup whiskey.  I like using Black velvet toasted caramel
Simmer for a bit
Add 1/4 cup beef stock
Simmer for a bit
Add 1/4 light cream
Simmer until it starts to thicken
Add over steak
Eat
Realize you didn't make enough
Make enough next time
buy me a beer in thanks if we ever meet
 
2013-03-19 08:06:39 PM
imageshack.us
 
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