If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Guardian)   Legendary English striker Michael Owen to retire after 89 international caps and 40 goals, none of which Americans saw because they had fallen asleep trying to watch international soccer   (guardian.co.uk) divider line 38
    More: Spiffy, Americans, soccer, international caps, strikers, Stoke City, Newcastle United  
•       •       •

329 clicks; posted to Sports » on 19 Mar 2013 at 12:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-03-19 12:26:11 PM
For this farker, Owen's best game was against Argentina in the 98 WC.
 
2013-03-19 12:28:08 PM
If you fell asleep during England/Argentina in 1998, you don't like sports at all.
 
2013-03-19 12:28:10 PM
Early in his career, Owen had the potential to become perhaps the finest English player in the history of the game.
It's a pity injuries took that potential away, but we will always remember the goal against Argentina, the hat-trick against Germany and the performances he put in for Liverpool, especially in the cup final against Arsenal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPC6Yv3BPVY

/ was the only player at the World Cup whose shirt number was more than his age.
 
2013-03-19 12:35:29 PM
Am American. Loved watching him play. VonEvilstein is right about those unfortunate injuries being a damnable shame.
 
2013-03-19 12:40:11 PM

Yanks_RSJ: If you fell asleep during England/Argentina in 1998, you don't like sports at all.


Pretty much.

Also, there was an older Kitchen Nightmares (BBC version) episode I saw where Michael's sister (Lesley I think?) made an appearance, and she's pretty cute.
 
2013-03-19 12:46:32 PM
He wore 89 different hats?
 
2013-03-19 12:49:33 PM
As an American, I know what a goal is but I'll be damned if I can figure out what a cap is. Is that like an endzone dance? Or headbutting the referee maybe?
 
2013-03-19 12:55:42 PM
A Newcastle fan told me that, after taking his transfer fee and wages into consideration, Owen cost them over a million quid per goal.
 
2013-03-19 12:57:14 PM
Since, in my younger days, I had five different English people (while visiting Australia; they were in the hostel district as well) tell me I looked exactly like him except taller, he is my favorite soccer player ever. And that's the only reason.

/wish most of the people telling me that weren't dudes
 
2013-03-19 12:57:54 PM
Didn't see because we fell asleep?
Or, just plain didn't watch because there was real footbal to watch?
 
2013-03-19 12:58:15 PM
Bah, Suarez has 30 in 61 apperances and has done it in half the time it took Owen.  He might struggle to stay on pace without Forlan feeding him the ball but not that much.
 
2013-03-19 01:05:04 PM

exick: As an American, I know what a goal is but I'll be damned if I can figure out what a cap is. Is that like an endzone dance? Or headbutting the referee maybe?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cap_%28sport%29
 
2013-03-19 01:06:06 PM
Wait didn't he retire after he gave up on nufc the year we got relegated?
 
2013-03-19 01:26:56 PM

DownDaRiver: Didn't see because we fell asleep?
Or, just plain didn't watch because there was real footbal to watch?


In June?
 
2013-03-19 02:32:10 PM
40 goals doesn't really seem like a lot.. even for grass leg hockey players.
 
2013-03-19 02:48:27 PM

DownDaRiver: Didn't see because we fell asleep?
Or, just plain didn't watch because there was real footbal to watch?


www.badassoftheweek.com
 
2013-03-19 02:59:56 PM

havocmike: 40 goals doesn't really seem like a lot.. even for grass leg hockey players.


That's international goals. It's pretty good but far from the best.
 
2013-03-19 06:13:15 PM

havocmike: 40 goals doesn't really seem like a lot.. even for grass leg hockey players.


Yeah. Maybe that's why soccer is so boring
 
2013-03-19 08:35:42 PM
I had a weird dream one time that Michael Owen came to MLS. He got injured almost immediately and was ostracized for some reason so I let him live in my stable with my horses. I would come out to the stable and chat with him about how I understood leaving for Madrid but would never forgive him for joining Man United and as such I wouldn't brush his tail because apparently at some point he became a centaur, or whatever the fark a human crossed with a pony is.
 
2013-03-19 08:46:06 PM
Yes, soccer is boring, say many Americans as they watch baseball and golf.
 
2013-03-19 10:18:50 PM

TheKnownUniverse: I had a weird dream one time that Michael Owen came to MLS. He got injured almost immediately and was ostracized for some reason so I let him live in my stable with my horses. I would come out to the stable and chat with him about how I understood leaving for Madrid but would never forgive him for joining Man United and as such I wouldn't brush his tail because apparently at some point he became a centaur, or whatever the fark a human crossed with a pony is.


Lmao
 
2013-03-19 10:53:21 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com

DownDaRiver: Didn't see because we fell asleep?
Or, just plain didn't watch because there was real footbal to watch?


You mean rugby's special needs cousin? With 60 minutes of play extended to a 3-hour snoozefest so they can fit all the ads and halftime shows in? And tights, helmets, shoulder pads and cups? And players wearing makeup and calling it war paint?

My heart's really not in it tonight. That's the best I can give you.

Mazzic518: TheKnownUniverse: I had a weird dream one time that Michael Owen came to MLS. He got injured almost immediately and was ostracized for some reason so I let him live in my stable with my horses. I would come out to the stable and chat with him about how I understood leaving for Madrid but would never forgive him for joining Man United and as such I wouldn't brush his tail because apparently at some point he became a centaur, or whatever the fark a human crossed with a pony is.

Lmao


Second.

/And... I didn't intend to refer to TKU's fantasy when I picked my image, but it's strangely fitting.
//Michael Owen's a brony.
 
2013-03-19 10:58:56 PM

iron de havilland: /And... I didn't intend to refer to TKU's fantasy when I picked my image, but it's strangely fitting.


Uh, following up to myself to apologise in advance for referring to what she clearly said was a dream as a fantasy.

Kind of outing myself as a lurker in the Premier League threads as I rarely watch the games live, but I like reading the fark thread after watching Match of the Day. So, in this instance, it was a dream, rather than a fantasy. Sorry.
 
2013-03-19 11:10:48 PM

iron de havilland: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 640x720]
DownDaRiver: Didn't see because we fell asleep?
Or, just plain didn't watch because there was real footbal to watch?

You mean rugby's special needs cousin? With 60 minutes of play extended to a 3-hour snoozefest so they can fit all the ads and halftime shows in? And tights, helmets, shoulder pads and cups? And players wearing makeup and calling it war paint?

My heart's really not in it tonight. That's the best I can give you.


Yes

 
2013-03-19 11:13:14 PM

iron de havilland: iron de havilland: /And... I didn't intend to refer to TKU's fantasy when I picked my image, but it's strangely fitting.

Uh, following up to myself to apologise in advance for referring to what she clearly said was a dream as a fantasy.

Kind of outing myself as a lurker in the Premier League threads as I rarely watch the games live, but I like reading the fark thread after watching Match of the Day. So, in this instance, it was a dream, rather than a fantasy. Sorry.


It's okay, I made it up anyway. The only dream I've had about a handsome aging player joining MLS was this weird dream where Di Natale came to DC United. I woke up groggy and super excited, but then had to consult the internet to verify that it was, in fact, a dream.

I apologize for my vicious lies.
 
2013-03-19 11:34:40 PM

DownDaRiver: iron de havilland: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 640x720]
DownDaRiver: Didn't see because we fell asleep?
Or, just plain didn't watch because there was real footbal to watch?

You mean rugby's special needs cousin? With 60 minutes of play extended to a 3-hour snoozefest so they can fit all the ads and halftime shows in? And tights, helmets, shoulder pads and cups? And players wearing makeup and calling it war paint?

My heart's really not in it tonight. That's the best I can give you.


Yes


I lol'd.

TheKnownUniverse: iron de havilland: iron de havilland: /And... I didn't intend to refer to TKU's fantasy when I picked my image, but it's strangely fitting.

Uh, following up to myself to apologise in advance for referring to what she clearly said was a dream as a fantasy.

Kind of outing myself as a lurker in the Premier League threads as I rarely watch the games live, but I like reading the fark thread after watching Match of the Day. So, in this instance, it was a dream, rather than a fantasy. Sorry.

It's okay, I made it up anyway. The only dream I've had about a handsome aging player joining MLS was this weird dream where Di Natale came to DC United. I woke up groggy and super excited, but then had to consult the internet to verify that it was, in fact, a dream.

I apologize for my vicious lies.


Lie as much as you want when it's that funny.

/And I'll try and get my arse in gear and join in the Premier League threads. But Murdoch demands big bucks to watch them live, the bastard.
//And the Feds have taken down a certain popular streaming site and linked it to this.
///Possibly NSFW.
 
2013-03-19 11:36:04 PM
Thanks for the announcement, I suppose.  How else would we have known that he's leaving?  If, after the injuries, he'd spent more time in rehabilitation than with his ponies, he might still have been a threat on the field.  There was always talk of bringing him back Poolside; soooooo glad that never happened.
 
2013-03-20 03:53:37 AM

iron de havilland: /And I'll try and get my arse in gear and join in the Premier League threads. But Murdoch demands big bucks to watch them live, the bastard.


I've thought about it myself but honestly can't manage to take any interest at all in the league down south. I've been toying with the idea of submitting SPL threads on the weekends to see if they can generate interest and greenlights but I'm not sure if there's enough interest on Fark.

I'm also collecting and labelling those who support clubs in Scotland. I have you down for Aberdeen (if that is correct) and I think I've spotted one Farker who supports Hearts and one Rangers fan, but am not quite sure. I'm the only Celtic fan here that I know of though a few seemed to like them in the Champions League this year.
 
2013-03-20 10:15:55 AM
Gordon Bennett: I've thought about it myself but honestly can't manage to take any interest at all in the league down south. I've been toying with the idea of submitting SPL threads on the weekends to see if they can generate interest and greenlights but I'm not sure if there's enough interest on Fark.

Well, Bundeslige threads have been greened recently, but I suspect that if SPL threads were greened they'd kind of end up being like the Six Nations threads, with around 20 posts or so per weekend.

I'm maybe a bit of an oddity in my football fandom, In that I just like watching a good, clean game of fitba. And the Premier League really does have some of the finest fitba in the world. It also has some of the biggest diving twunts in the world, and some of the biggest dramas in fitba.

I suppose, in a sense, I enjoy the soap opera aspect of it, like ManC's getting it together and winning the whole damn thing in the dying seconds of the league last season, or the tension of Bradford's league cup final, ending with Swansea in Europe next season. With 20 teams and 3 in the relegation zone, there's just so much more going on than in the SPL.

I'm also collecting and labelling those who support clubs in Scotland. I have you down for Aberdeen (if that is correct)

Aye, nominally. I was born a sheep-shagger, and there exist childhood photos of me in a jersey celebrating Fergie's Euro success with the Dons back in the day. But again, I mostly keep my finger on the pulse, not really a rabid supporter.

and I think I've spotted one Farker who supports Hearts and one Rangers fan, but am not quite sure. I'm the only Celtic fan here that I know of though a few seemed to like them in the Champions League this year.

Yeah. Bhoys did good.
 
2013-03-20 10:25:15 AM

exick: As an American, I know what a goal is but I'll be damned if I can figure out what a cap is. Is that like an endzone dance? Or headbutting the referee maybe?


A "cap" is what you get when you're picked for your national team. Play for your national team 47 times? You have 47 caps.

It's what the most gifted sporting individuals from outside the US aspire to, instead of just calling the winners of American domestic leagues "World Champions" of sports that nobody else even plays.

Think of it as like being picked for the "Pro Bowl" or an "All-Star" game, but with some kind of actual significance outside the <5% of the world's population that gives even the remotest flying crap about US sports.
 
2013-03-20 10:58:07 PM
Do we really need to go through this again?

Whether Americans like the most dominant spectator sport in existence really doesn't matter much. The sports they like are dwarfed by soccer and they always be the minority.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-20 10:59:27 PM

exick: As an American, I know what a goal is but I'll be damned if I can figure out what a cap is. Is that like an endzone dance? Or headbutting the referee maybe?


It means a burger.
 
2013-03-21 12:34:48 AM

nwave: Do we really need to go through this again?

Whether Americans like the most dominant spectator sport in existence really doesn't matter much. The sports they like are dwarfed by soccer and they always be the minority.

[i.imgur.com image 850x619]


You post that pic in every other thread on the Sports tab, and every time I see it all I can think is "America, FARK YEAH!"  The fact that a sport which is almost exclusive to the United States is, in terms of revenue and TV audiences, second only to a sport played by nearly the entire world says a lot about how powerful we are as a nation.  You want to take on the red, white, and blue, you better bring six and a half billion friends.
 
2013-03-21 11:59:26 AM

Olympic Trolling Judge: nwave: Do we really need to go through this again?

Whether Americans like the most dominant spectator sport in existence really doesn't matter much. The sports they like are dwarfed by soccer and they always be the minority.

[i.imgur.com image 850x619]
You want to take on the red, white, and blue, you better bring six and a half billion friends.


Implying 90% of soccer's revenue doesn't come out of Europe. Implying your shiatty sport doesn't die out with your culture.
 
2013-03-21 01:01:15 PM

Olympic Trolling Judge: nwave: Do we really need to go through this again?

Whether Americans like the most dominant spectator sport in existence really doesn't matter much. The sports they like are dwarfed by soccer and they always be the minority.

[i.imgur.com image 850x619]

You post that pic in every other thread on the Sports tab, and every time I see it all I can think is "America, FARK YEAH!"  The fact that a sport which is almost exclusive to the United States is, in terms of revenue and TV audiences, second only to a sport played by nearly the entire world says a lot about how powerful we are as a nation.  You want to take on the red, white, and blue, you better bring six and a half billion friends.



Fleece
1.a.The coat of wool of a sheep or similar animal.b.The yield of wool shorn from a sheep at one time.2.A soft woolly covering or mass.3.Fabric with a soft deep pile.tr.v. fleeced,  fleec·ing,  fleec·es1. To defraud of money or property; swindle.2.To shear the fleece from.3.To cover with or as if with fleece.

/Particularly enjoys the way that half the comments on any Superb Owl thread are about the advertisements
 
2013-03-22 08:14:56 AM

Olympic Trolling Judge: You post that pic in every other thread on the Sports tab, and every time I see it all I can think is "America, FARK YEAH!"  The fact that a sport which is almost exclusive to the United States is, in terms of revenue and TV audiences, second only to a sport played by nearly the entire world says a lot about how powerful we are as a nation.


Revenue yes, TV audience no. Cricket matches between India and Pakistan have audiences that dwarf the entire population of the United States.
 
2013-03-22 11:38:52 AM

Gordon Bennett: Olympic Trolling Judge: You post that pic in every other thread on the Sports tab, and every time I see it all I can think is "America, FARK YEAH!"  The fact that a sport which is almost exclusive to the United States is, in terms of revenue and TV audiences, second only to a sport played by nearly the entire world says a lot about how powerful we are as a nation.

Revenue yes, TV audience no. Cricket matches between India and Pakistan have audiences that dwarf the entire population of the United States.


You are now aware that the average NFL game has 62 minutes of commericals and 11 minutes of play time.

The overwhelming majority of their revenue comes from the ridiculous amount of commericals. They still can't get 1/4th as much as divegrass even though they completely sold out their sport and altered it to suit commericals.
 
2013-03-22 01:11:50 PM

Gordon Bennett: Revenue yes, TV audience no. Cricket matches between India and Pakistan have audiences that dwarf the entire population of the United States.


Eh?  *google*  Well, when you're right, you're right.  Though it's odd that their rivalry isn't listed on the graph above.  Maybe because it's not a regularly scheduled "event"?  Anyway, assuming those audiences are divided proportionally between the two sides, time to update The List:

Countries That Can Talk Smack
- India
 
Displayed 38 of 38 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report