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(Slate)   "Dear Prudence: my girlfriend kisses and makes out with her cat and it really grosses me out. What should I do?"   (slate.com) divider line 44
    More: Silly, Prudi, Emily Yoffe, girlfriend  
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10040 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Mar 2013 at 10:42 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-19 10:57:39 AM  
13 votes:
Dear Prudence,

Whenever I fall asleep on my back, my dog hunches over me, uses its paw to press its boner down into my mouth, and then rides my face to ejaculation.  If I wake up, he growls.  If I try to stop him, he bites me.  Do you have any tips on how to change your sleeping position?  No matter how hard I try, I always find myself on my back with a dog's dick halfway down my sore throat.  I need to fix this before our relationship sours!

spentmiles
2013-03-19 10:59:22 AM  
5 votes:
To Prudence: You're completely correct. 'Num num nuu' is the proper sound to make when kissing a cat.

To 'Girlfriend and cat': Though you may find cat kissing gross, I suspect there is at least one (and likely more than one) reason you're hesitating to marry this wench. Dig deeper and you'll find those reasons (which are likely pretty well-grounded and valid). Then ditch her and run for the hills - it's what any sensible man would do these days.

To the Fark community: Kissing cats is fine. In fact, it's awesome. Kissing dogs, however, is gut-wrenchingly disgusting and should be strictly barred by law.
2013-03-19 10:58:46 AM  
4 votes:
Lick the cat's ass then see if she's willing to kiss you.  If she is, dump her.  If not, she's a hypocrite.  Either way, ha-ha, you licked a cat's ass.
2013-03-19 10:45:34 AM  
4 votes:
if a girl can kiss her kitty she should be in porn.
2013-03-19 10:29:38 AM  
4 votes:
i236.photobucket.com
2013-03-19 12:02:04 PM  
3 votes:
Make it a threesome.

acidpit.com
2013-03-19 11:54:15 AM  
3 votes:
i52.tinypic.com

// obligatory
2013-03-19 11:04:18 AM  
3 votes:
Paint your penis to look like a cats nose.
2013-03-19 10:44:58 AM  
3 votes:
notfncute.com
2013-03-19 10:40:21 AM  
3 votes:
I just read further and ...

A: I understand your bafflement and distress. When kissing one's pets on the nose, the sound one makes should not be "om nom nom" but "num, num, nuu."

... is this for real?
2013-03-19 10:38:26 AM  
3 votes:
ftfa:

She thinks it is just fine to kiss it right on the nose, repeatedly. She basically kisses it, and makes this "om nom nom" noise while doing so.

ok, which farker wrote this?
2013-03-19 09:48:29 AM  
3 votes:
Dear Prudence,
Why won't my parakeet eat my diarrhea?

Sincerely, GiantRex
2013-03-19 11:35:54 AM  
2 votes:
1. record video of her and said whore cat
2. post on Internet
3. LULZ!
2013-03-19 11:18:43 AM  
2 votes:
Dear Prudence,

I work as a screener for a syndicated advice columnist. As an April Fools day joke we inserted a bunch of silly sex questions into her inbox and now she is answering them. Please advise.

Your staff was drunk
2013-03-19 11:00:08 AM  
2 votes:
Dear Prudence, my Farkette girlfriend keeps going to the bedroom with my German Shepherd, Rex, for what she calls "their special time."  Meanwhile, Rex looks happier than he ever has.  Should I be concerned?
2013-03-19 10:50:55 AM  
2 votes:
He should try a little experiment that can tell her where her cat's mouth has been. It involves lipstick.
2013-03-19 09:35:04 AM  
2 votes:
Dear girlfriend and cat,
You're a child and not ready to get married yet. Grow up.

sincerely, Voiceofreason01
2013-03-19 10:18:49 PM  
1 votes:
Grab kitty's ass and start rubbing it on your crotch.

It cures the behavior quickly.
2013-03-19 10:11:59 PM  
1 votes:
d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net
2013-03-19 01:40:43 PM  
1 votes:

chrylis: What will it take to fire the admin who keeps greenlighting Prudence threads?


I like these threads.  Look at how many disgusting jokes came out of it.  Sometimes you gotta see the silver lining.
2013-03-19 01:32:32 PM  
1 votes:
What will it take to fire the admin who keeps greenlighting Prudence threads?
2013-03-19 12:46:51 PM  
1 votes:
So is Prudence trying to become the San Savage of bestiality now?
2013-03-19 12:21:59 PM  
1 votes:
2.bp.blogspot.com
2013-03-19 11:57:12 AM  
1 votes:

CrashRhinoceros: To Prudence: You're completely correct. 'Num num nuu' is the proper sound to make when kissing a cat.

To 'Girlfriend and cat': Though you may find cat kissing gross, I suspect there is at least one (and likely more than one) reason you're hesitating to marry this wench. Dig deeper and you'll find those reasons (which are likely pretty well-grounded and valid). Then ditch her and run for the hills - it's what any sensible man would do these days.

To the Fark community: Kissing cats is fine. In fact, it's awesome. Kissing dogs, however, is gut-wrenchingly disgusting and should be strictly barred by law.


I have a girlfriend I'd like to marry and she's gaga over her cat.  It's a rescue and has some health problems, FIV among them, and scratches its ears raw.  I think it's gross and tolerate it but don't want it rubbing on me excessively.  I have a dog and even though he has terrible breath, I let him give me a kiss or two when I come home from work.  She thinks this, and dogs in general, is gross.  I guess it's unspoken and we both just deal with it and love each other regardless.  Not a deal breaker.  I've learned a great deal about tolerance in this relationship, and I'm better for it.

PsyLord: The second letter about the What if's/One that got away reminds me of an ex that I had.  We dated, she broke up with me, we eventually became friends again, and on the day of college graduation, I said my goodbye and gave her a hug.  She just stood there looking at me as if I was suppose to do something else.  WTF.


This happened to me during my current relationship (see above), but "B" was a total farking coont and I told her to piss off.  Still wonder sometimes though.
2013-03-19 11:52:13 AM  
1 votes:
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com  encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

//Isis needs some sugar
2013-03-19 11:31:07 AM  
1 votes:
The second letter about the What if's/One that got away reminds me of an ex that I had.  We dated, she broke up with me, we eventually became friends again, and on the day of college graduation, I said my goodbye and gave her a hug.  She just stood there looking at me as if I was suppose to do something else.  WTF.
2013-03-19 11:18:31 AM  
1 votes:
I just love my cat so much... What do you mean you aren't going to propose to me yet?

i0.kym-cdn.com

/not obscure
2013-03-19 11:18:17 AM  
1 votes:
is this her cat?

img195.imageshack.us

If so, can I watch?
2013-03-19 11:11:51 AM  
1 votes:

untaken_name: MyKingdomForYourHorse: airsupport: Be glad your girlfriend likes to lick the pussy.  That's one experience many of us dudes will never get to see.

Over rated to be honest, I mean it sounds all fun and games until you realize that women can go all night while men are an hour, tops. By the end of the night you've been relegated to butler service as you fetch sandwiches and water for the entertainment.

That's why you only pay for one hour.


I know this now
2013-03-19 11:09:54 AM  
1 votes:
She regularly takes kitty nose juice into her mouth? This is sign of damaged goods and the train is about to leave the station. We hope to see you aboard.
2013-03-19 11:09:53 AM  
1 votes:
Q.   "Dear Prudence: my girlfriend kisses and makes out with her cat and it really grosses me out.   What should I do?"

A.  "Acknowledge that she is a crazy cat lady and do not stick your dick in her."
2013-03-19 11:08:20 AM  
1 votes:

MyKingdomForYourHorse: airsupport: Be glad your girlfriend likes to lick the pussy.  That's one experience many of us dudes will never get to see.

Over rated to be honest, I mean it sounds all fun and games until you realize that women can go all night while men are an hour, tops. By the end of the night you've been relegated to butler service as you fetch sandwiches and water for the entertainment.


That's why you only pay for one hour.
2013-03-19 11:07:03 AM  
1 votes:

MyKingdomForYourHorse: airsupport: Be glad your girlfriend likes to lick the pussy.  That's one experience many of us dudes will never get to see.

Over rated to be honest, I mean it sounds all fun and games until you realize that women can go all night while men are an hour, tops. By the end of the night you've been relegated to butler service as you fetch sandwiches and water for the entertainment.


I was sad that I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.
2013-03-19 11:06:17 AM  
1 votes:

Galloping Galoshes: Dear Prudence, my Farkette girlfriend keeps going to the bedroom with my German Shepherd, Rex, for what she calls "their special time."  Meanwhile, Rex looks happier than he ever has.  Should I be concerned?



Dear Galloping,

Not unless his dick is bigger than yours.

Best wishes,

Prudence
2013-03-19 11:04:53 AM  
1 votes:

airsupport: Be glad your girlfriend likes to lick the pussy.  That's one experience many of us dudes will never get to see.


Over rated to be honest, I mean it sounds all fun and games until you realize that women can go all night while men are an hour, tops. By the end of the night you've been relegated to butler service as you fetch sandwiches and water for the entertainment.
2013-03-19 11:01:23 AM  
1 votes:
Be glad your girlfriend likes to lick the pussy.  That's one experience many of us dudes will never get to see.
2013-03-19 10:52:55 AM  
1 votes:
25.media.tumblr.com
2013-03-19 10:51:43 AM  
1 votes:
Let's review the situation from a different point of view.
His fiance is affectionate and she expresses her affection orally.

Okay, next problem.
zez
2013-03-19 10:48:38 AM  
1 votes:
Let's try that again

t0.gstatic.com
2013-03-19 10:47:43 AM  
1 votes:
This too has me worked up.
2013-03-19 10:45:40 AM  
1 votes:
It puts the lipstick on the cat's anus and checks the kitchen countertop for litttle "kisses."
2013-03-19 10:44:58 AM  
1 votes:
No.

To easy.
2013-03-19 09:52:21 AM  
1 votes:
Dear girlfriend and cat,

Fark the cat. If she doesn't get the hint, stick it in her pooper.
2013-03-19 09:46:53 AM  
1 votes:
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It's beautiful and so are you
 
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