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(Digital Spy)   Apostrophe ban council reverses decision after being threatened by Farker's   (digitalspy.com) divider line 62
    More: Obvious, punctuation  
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4694 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Mar 2013 at 8:41 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-19 08:43:34 AM
The thing about apostrophe's is that they make sentence's more fun to type.
 
2013-03-19 08:45:54 AM
The Apostrophe Protection Society.

...

The Apostrophe Protection...

Society.

The...

...

...

I'm out.
 
2013-03-19 08:46:59 AM
Thats wonderful.
 
2013-03-19 08:47:36 AM
By Farker's tiny penis?
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-03-19 08:48:11 AM
The American street sign standard says "Word messages should not contain periods, apostrophes, question marks, ampersands, or other punctuation or characters that are not letters, numerals, or hyphens unless necessary to avoid confusion."
 
2013-03-19 08:49:21 AM
apostrophe ban council?


apostrophe protection society?

christ, people need to take up golf or politics or something.
 
2013-03-19 08:50:10 AM

picturescrazy: By Farker's tiny penis?


My pen is huge.
 
2013-03-19 08:50:23 AM
I believe the headline should read "Apostrophe ban council reverses there decision after being threatened by Farker's".
 
2013-03-19 08:50:28 AM

Dr. Goldshnoz: christ, people need to take up golf or politics or something.


Or put all that activism to use doing something that actually helps people.
 
2013-03-19 08:50:32 AM
www.angryflower.com
 
2013-03-19 08:50:35 AM
So, let's add apostrophe's everywhere, like the Canadian's do.
 
2013-03-19 08:51:06 AM
Even better is the headline below TFA - "Manchester Street renamed Hand Job Alley on Google maps".
 
2013-03-19 08:51:10 AM
angryflower.com
 
GBB [TotalFark]
2013-03-19 08:51:24 AM

CarnySaur: I believe the headline should read "Apostrophe ban council reverses there decision after being threatened by Farker's".


I like this version alot.
 
2013-03-19 08:51:46 AM
i17.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-19 08:54:22 AM

GBB: CarnySaur: I believe the headline should read "Apostrophe ban council reverses there decision after being threatened by Farker's".

I like this version alot.


Me to.
 
2013-03-19 08:54:59 AM
Street names that could be shortened to become offensive were also banned.

This piqued my interest.
 
GBB [TotalFark]
2013-03-19 09:00:59 AM
Irregardless of the affect there decision on the potential of screwing up the grammer they teach to their kids, they will half to understand that the inclusion or exclusion of punctuation in the street name is not going to be nearly as confusing as having both a Jackson St and a Jackson Ave with the same numericals on opposite sides of the city or county when they call 911.
 
2013-03-19 09:02:49 AM
Everyone knows that the crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe
 
2013-03-19 09:03:42 AM

Sybarite: Street names that could be shortened to become offensive were also banned.

This piqued peaked my interest.


Rotsky'd that for you.
 
2013-03-19 09:05:41 AM
Is there a Comma Protection Society?  If so, I think I may have found my calling.
 
2013-03-19 09:05:46 AM
Apostrophe ban council reverses decision after being threatened by Farker's

Your doing something wrong about apostrophe here
 
2013-03-19 09:06:36 AM

GBB: Irregardless of the affect there decision on the potential of screwing up the grammer they teach to their kids, they will half to understand that the inclusion or exclusion of punctuation in the street name is not going to be nearly as confusing as having both a Jackson St and a Jackson Ave with the same numericals on opposite sides of the city or county when they call 911.


You couldn't of wrote this better.
 
2013-03-19 09:09:09 AM
Apostrophes was my favorite Greek philosopher.
 
2013-03-19 09:10:23 AM

reillan: So, let's add apostrophe's everywhere, like the Canadian's do.


Wait, what?
 
2013-03-19 09:14:44 AM
This is Apostrophe's artwork:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-03-19 09:15:18 AM
"It is appallin'g, disgusting and pointles's, they have no regard for the English language".'
 
2013-03-19 09:17:02 AM

GBB: CarnySaur: I believe the headline should read "Apostrophe ban council reverses there decision after being threatened by Farker's".

I like this version alot.


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-19 09:20:13 AM

reillan: So, let's add apostrophe's everywhere, like the Canadian's do.


No, no no no no no.  That is NOT what the Canadians do!

...

They add extra vowels & letters and shiat.  "The alphabet is from 'a' to 'zed'".  ZED???  "I think we should paint the house a different colour."  ColoUr?  Is it pronounced "kull-OWER" or "KULL-orr"?

STOP DOING THAT
 
2013-03-19 09:20:21 AM
Well done, Submitter.
 
2013-03-19 09:21:41 AM

picturescrazy: By Farker's tiny penis?


By Farker's tiny peni's?

/meh
 
2013-03-19 09:35:41 AM
That wasnt event the best story on the page.  Theres this one linked at the bottom:

Manchester's Temperance Street renamed 'Hand Job Alley' on Google Maps
 
2013-03-19 09:39:09 AM

imontheinternet: Is there a Comma Protection Society?  If so, I think I may have found my calling.


That depends.  Are you for, or against the Oxford comma?  Choose wisely.
 
2013-03-19 09:42:08 AM

xanadian: reillan: So, let's add apostrophe's everywhere, like the Canadian's do.

No, no no no no no.  That is NOT what the Canadians do!

...

They add extra vowels & letters and shiat.  "The alphabet is from 'a' to 'zed'".  ZED???  "I think we should paint the house a different colour."  ColoUr?  Is it pronounced "kull-OWER" or "KULL-orr"?

STOP DOING THAT


Zee's dead baby. Zee's dead. (and for it to be kull-OWER it would have to be colouur, as the 'double-u' you used would change the pronunciation - Hear the difference in the pronunciation of flour and flower? No? You might just be American.
 
2013-03-19 09:49:58 AM

Psychopusher: imontheinternet: Is there a Comma Protection Society?  If so, I think I may have found my calling.

That depends.  Are you for, or against the Oxford comma?  Choose wisely.


25.media.tumblr.com
The Oxford comma is what separates civilized, learned people from savage heathens.
 
2013-03-19 10:00:44 AM
As chairman and founder of the original Protect the Apostrophe Society I have only one comment for the founder and chairman of the Apostrophe Protection Society John Richards.

Splitter!
 
2013-03-19 10:13:44 AM

xanadian: reillan: So, let's add apostrophe's everywhere, like the Canadian's do.

No, no no no no no.  That is NOT what the Canadians do!

...

They add extra vowels & letters and shiat.  "The alphabet is from 'a' to 'zed'".  ZED???  "I think we should paint the house a different colour."  ColoUr?  Is it pronounced "kull-OWER" or "KULL-orr"?

STOP DOING THAT


As soon as you can tell me if Houston is pronounced HEW-stun (TX), or HOUSE-tun (NY).

imontheinternet: Psychopusher: imontheinternet: Is there a Comma Protection Society?  If so, I think I may have found my calling.

That depends.  Are you for, or against the Oxford comma?  Choose wisely.

[25.media.tumblr.com image 487x636]
The Oxford comma is what separates civilized, learned people from savage heathens.


You pass.  Welcome to the Oxford Comma Preservation Society.  Here is your duffel bag of commas, a chicken, and relpica heads of Strunk & White for mounting.
 
2013-03-19 10:17:47 AM

uttertosh: xanadian: reillan: So, let's add apostrophe's everywhere, like the Canadian's do.

No, no no no no no.  That is NOT what the Canadians do!

...

They add extra vowels & letters and shiat.  "The alphabet is from 'a' to 'zed'".  ZED???  "I think we should paint the house a different colour."  ColoUr?  Is it pronounced "kull-OWER" or "KULL-orr"?

STOP DOING THAT

Zee's dead baby. Zee's dead. (and for it to be kull-OWER it would have to be colouur, as the 'double-u' you used would change the pronunciation - Hear the difference in the pronunciation of flour and flower? No? You might just be American.


Wait are you saying Canadians pronounce flour like fler?
 
2013-03-19 10:22:19 AM
Battles over "h" as well...

0.tqn.com
 
2013-03-19 10:35:45 AM
They can have my apostrophes when they wrest them from my cold, dead, Mount Blanc!

Support the National Apostrophe Association. Never give up your freedom!
 
2013-03-19 10:39:30 AM
English is just fine. You want to fix languages? Go after the farking Romance languages, German and any other language that uses gender.

If I want to call the Pope a potato, then by goddammit I shouldn't have to worry about no farking "la" instead of "el"

Drop the farking gender shiat. If you get insulted by a farking vowel, your ego is way out of line.

I'm not sure why English dropped gender but god bless the sweet sexist or enlightened bastards that did it.
 
2013-03-19 10:43:54 AM
OMFG... This whole thing reads like an onion article.    Life imitates preposterous art, english style.
 
2013-03-19 10:47:04 AM

TheShavingofOccam123: English is just fine. You want to fix languages? Go after the farking Romance languages, German and any other language that uses gender.

If I want to call the Pope a potato, then by goddammit I shouldn't have to worry about no farking "la" instead of "el"

Drop the farking gender shiat. If you get insulted by a farking vowel, your ego is way out of line.

I'm not sure why English dropped gender but god bless the sweet sexist or enlightened bastards that did it.


Gender is what completely farked me up when I was learning French.  They never explained if there was some sort of rule of thumb in determining which words were masculine and which were feminine if you didn't know beforehand.  It was all just "this word is feminine, so you use la."  Never mind that they never explained why words had to have gender.  It made exactly zero sense to me why it existed or how it helped comprehension in the slightest.  So basically I said fark French and now barely remember any of it.
 
2013-03-19 10:56:37 AM
When the grocery store Albertson's decided to become Albertsons, people complained about them removing the apostrophe to no avail.
 
2013-03-19 10:57:33 AM

Psychopusher: TheShavingofOccam123: English is just fine. You want to fix languages? Go after the farking Romance languages, German and any other language that uses gender.

If I want to call the Pope a potato, then by goddammit I shouldn't have to worry about no farking "la" instead of "el"

Drop the farking gender shiat. If you get insulted by a farking vowel, your ego is way out of line.

I'm not sure why English dropped gender but god bless the sweet sexist or enlightened bastards that did it.

Gender is what completely farked me up when I was learning French.  They never explained if there was some sort of rule of thumb in determining which words were masculine and which were feminine if you didn't know beforehand.  It was all just "this word is feminine, so you use la."  Never mind that they never explained why words had to have gender.  It made exactly zero sense to me why it existed or how it helped comprehension in the slightest.  So basically I said fark French and now barely remember any of it.


German, a non-Romance language, is just as bad. Der, die, das, die; dem, dem, der, den; des, der, des, der and god knows how many other ways of saying "THE".

Cooties has no place in language. Get the fark over it and get rid of gender!!1!
 
2013-03-19 11:47:55 AM

MadMonk: As chairman and founder of the original Protect the Apostrophe Society I have only one comment for the founder and chairman of the Apostrophe Protection Society John Richards.

Splitter!


Won't somebody please think of the semicolons?
 
2013-03-19 11:56:08 AM

Psychopusher: TheShavingofOccam123: English is just fine. You want to fix languages? Go after the farking Romance languages, German and any other language that uses gender.

If I want to call the Pope a potato, then by goddammit I shouldn't have to worry about no farking "la" instead of "el"

Drop the farking gender shiat. If you get insulted by a farking vowel, your ego is way out of line.

I'm not sure why English dropped gender but god bless the sweet sexist or enlightened bastards that did it.

Gender is what completely farked me up when I was learning French.  They never explained if there was some sort of rule of thumb in determining which words were masculine and which were feminine if you didn't know beforehand.  It was all just "this word is feminine, so you use la."  Never mind that they never explained why words had to have gender.  It made exactly zero sense to me why it existed or how it helped comprehension in the slightest.  So basically I said fark French and now barely remember any of it.



Here's the one thing you need to know about languages with gender: it's completely, totally arbitrary, and anyone who tries to tell you it has anything to do with sex or "masculinity" is a liar or a fool.  Don't think about it in terms of masculinity or femininity or even use the words "masculine" or "feminine" unless you have to on a test or something.  Just call them (and think of them" as "gender A" and "gender B"  and completely divorce it from any correlation to masculinity/femininity in the real world.


Don't ask yourself, for example, "Is the moon masculine or feminine in Spanish?"  That line of thought just leads to confusion.

Remember: it's arbitrary.  It doesn't make sense, it's not supposed to make sense, it doesn't have to make sense, so don'y try to make sense of it.  Just memorize which pronoun you need for each noun.  It's just one additional bit of completely arbitrary data.

I promise you, it'll be much easier and you'll be much happier this way.
 
2013-03-19 12:09:01 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: Psychopusher: TheShavingofOccam123: English is just fine. You want to fix languages? Go after the farking Romance languages, German and any other language that uses gender.

If I want to call the Pope a potato, then by goddammit I shouldn't have to worry about no farking "la" instead of "el"

Drop the farking gender shiat. If you get insulted by a farking vowel, your ego is way out of line.

I'm not sure why English dropped gender but god bless the sweet sexist or enlightened bastards that did it.

Gender is what completely farked me up when I was learning French.  They never explained if there was some sort of rule of thumb in determining which words were masculine and which were feminine if you didn't know beforehand.  It was all just "this word is feminine, so you use la."  Never mind that they never explained why words had to have gender.  It made exactly zero sense to me why it existed or how it helped comprehension in the slightest.  So basically I said fark French and now barely remember any of it.

German, a non-Romance language, is just as bad. Der, die, das, die; dem, dem, der, den; des, der, des, der and god knows how many other ways of saying "THE".

Cooties has no place in language. Get the fark over it and get rid of gender!!1!



Don't pretend English got articles right.  English articles are just as arbitrary and confusing to non-native speakers of English as die/der/das is to non-native speakers of German.

When do you use the definite article and when do you use the indefinite?  When is "some" an article and when isn't it?  Why is it  "I gave you an apple" but not "I gave you an money"?  Why is it  "I gave you an apple" but "I gave you a red apple"?   Why did the article for apple change from "an" to "a"?  When should I use "a", when should I use "an", and when no article?

Oh, you say the definite article is easier because English only has one?  So, why is it that you sometimes pronounce "the" as "thuh" but other times as "thee"?   Which "the" should I pronounce ("thuh" or "thee") in "I went to the store?"  And why is it "He is from the United States" but "She is from Canada?"  Why can't I say "She is from the Canada?"


You THINK articles in English are simpler and easier because you're a native speaker.  You didn't LEARN English the same way you tried to learn German.  So all the rules about articles in English you either picked up through osmosis, or at worse, learned when you were a very small child --- but then forgot about learning them, just like you've forgotten what potty training was like.
 
2013-03-19 12:21:29 PM

ciberido: TheShavingofOccam123: Psychopusher: TheShavingofOccam123: English is just fine. You want to fix languages? Go after the farking Romance languages, German and any other language that uses gender.

If I want to call the Pope a potato, then by goddammit I shouldn't have to worry about no farking "la" instead of "el"

Drop the farking gender shiat. If you get insulted by a farking vowel, your ego is way out of line.

I'm not sure why English dropped gender but god bless the sweet sexist or enlightened bastards that did it.

Gender is what completely farked me up when I was learning French.  They never explained if there was some sort of rule of thumb in determining which words were masculine and which were feminine if you didn't know beforehand.  It was all just "this word is feminine, so you use la."  Never mind that they never explained why words had to have gender.  It made exactly zero sense to me why it existed or how it helped comprehension in the slightest.  So basically I said fark French and now barely remember any of it.

German, a non-Romance language, is just as bad. Der, die, das, die; dem, dem, der, den; des, der, des, der and god knows how many other ways of saying "THE".

Cooties has no place in language. Get the fark over it and get rid of gender!!1!


Don't pretend English got articles right.  English articles are just as arbitrary and confusing to non-native speakers of English as die/der/das is to non-native speakers of German.

When do you use the definite article and when do you use the indefinite?  When is "some" an article and when isn't it?  Why is it  "I gave you an apple" but not "I gave you an money"?  Why is it  "I gave you an apple" but "I gave you a red apple"?   Why did the article for apple change from "an" to "a"?  When should I use "a", when should I use "an", and when no article?

Oh, you say the definite article is easier because English only has one?  So, why is it that you sometimes pronounce "the" as "thuh" but other times as "the ...


I'm all for getting rid of as many articles as possible. There are languages who don't use them. But my big complaint is with gender. It only complicates what is already a complicated tool.

And I'm not saying English is an easy language to learn--I can't understand how anyone can make sense of it or try to codify it into easily  taught rules. There are certainly general guidelines but because English has adopted so much from so many other languages, there are always too many exceptions along with too many rules.
 
2013-03-19 12:22:18 PM

THX 1138: [i17.photobucket.com image 464x590]


I really have to agree with this. And in the case of using a sans apostrophe contraction right before a homonym? Dont use the contraction!

He'll go to hell.
Hell go to hell.

He will go to hell.

/stopped using apostrophes a while back
//i also like the idea of using 'z' for plural possessives, but i dont actually do that
 
2013-03-19 12:50:18 PM

CarnySaur: I believe the headline should read "Apostrophe ban council reverses there decision after being threatened by Farker's".


Your now my favorite Farker.
 
2013-03-19 01:08:28 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: I'm all for getting rid of as many articles as possible. There are languages who don't use them. But my big complaint is with gender. It only complicates what is already a complicated tool.


I'm sorry, but you're missing my point.  Articles aren't useless at all, nor does that fact that some languages eschew them prove that all languages should or even could.  By the same token, gender in languages that have them (such as German and Spanish) isn't useless, nor does the fact that English lacks gender prove that German and Spanish should get rid of theirs.

Let me use an analogy with computers.  A language is basically a "transfer protocol" that allows an idea to be transferred from one mind to another, much like a compression algorithm or file transfer protocol allows files to be transferred from one computer to another more efficiently.  Two things that you worry about when you transfer a computer file are the size/speed of the file (hence compression) and the possibility of the transmission getting damaged, garbled, or lost (hence error-checking).  To some degree these are competing goals, as the more error-checking you do, the bigger/slower the transmission.  So there's a trade-off.

The same is true of human speech, and many language features are the way they are because of that trade-off between ease/speed/efficiency on the one hand, and error-checking/prevention on the other.  To use an example I gave earlier, take "a" versus "an."  Why does English use both?  Why can't we just always use "a"?  Or always "an," for that matter?  The reason is indeed a trade-off between speed/ease and reducing the chance of a "garbled" transmission.  "A" is slightly easier to say, but "an" is more clear.  So when there's little chance of confusion, we use "a" (He got out of a car") and when there is more of a chance of mishearing the article, we use "an" for extra clarity ("She cut an onion").  The RULE we teach is something like "use 'an' before a vowel and 'a' before a consonant", but the REASON isthat "a onion" is more likely to get garbled (because there's no consonant between the words) than "a car" (because the consonant "C" break the two words apart).

We COULD just use "an" but that would slow us down and require more effort from the speaker --- and we want speech that is fast and easy.  We also COULD just use "a" but that would lead to more "garbled transmissions" (say "a apple" five times fast and you'll hear how it slurs together into a mush nobody can understand), which would force us to slow down and repeat ourselves --- and thus, in the long run, be slower.

The conceptual problem here is that you're focusing on what makes a language easy to LEARN, not easy to USE once learned, and, as native speakers who have already learned the language, how easy it is for someone else to learn just isn't that important.

To use another computer example, think of a computer language that's difficult to master, yet isextremely powerful/flexible, versus a computer language that is easy to learn but that mostly gets studied in Computer Science 101 and isn't use much after one earns their degree.
 
2013-03-19 01:49:19 PM

picturescrazy: uttertosh: xanadian: reillan: So, let's add apostrophe's everywhere, like the Canadian's do.

No, no no no no no.  That is NOT what the Canadians do!

...

They add extra vowels & letters and shiat.  "The alphabet is from 'a' to 'zed'".  ZED???  "I think we should paint the house a different colour."  ColoUr?  Is it pronounced "kull-OWER" or "KULL-orr"?

STOP DOING THAT

Zee's dead baby. Zee's dead. (and for it to be kull-OWER it would have to be colouur, as the 'double-u' you used would change the pronunciation - Hear the difference in the pronunciation of flour and flower? No? You might just be American.

Wait are you saying Canadians pronounce flour like fler?


WTF are you on about? Please clarify your question. I don't even.
 
2013-03-19 03:14:38 PM
With no Apostrophe to guide them, I hope they get lost on their way to St Alphonso's Pancake Breakfast.
 
2013-03-19 03:38:27 PM

ZAZ: The American street sign standard says "Word messages should not contain periods, apostrophes, question marks, ampersands, or other punctuation or characters that are not letters, numerals, or hyphens unless necessary to avoid confusion."


Land of the fre'e
 
2013-03-19 03:53:14 PM

Psychopusher: imontheinternet: Is there a Comma Protection Society?  If so, I think I may have found my calling.

That depends.  Are you for, or against the Oxford comma?  Choose wisely.


I endorse, support, and use the Oxford comma.  People who don't are stupid, retarded, and idiots.
 
2013-03-19 04:01:52 PM

ciberido: Why is it "I gave you an apple" but not "I gave you an money"? Why is it "I gave you an apple" but "I gave you a red apple"? Why did the article for apple change from "an" to "a"? When should I use "a", when should I use "an", and when no article?


You use "an" when the next word starts with a vowel.  That one's actually pretty simple.
 
2013-03-19 04:25:45 PM

andychrist420: ciberido: Why is it "I gave you an apple" but not "I gave you an money"? Why is it "I gave you an apple" but "I gave you a red apple"? Why did the article for apple change from "an" to "a"? When should I use "a", when should I use "an", and when no article?

You use "an" when the next word starts with a vowel.  That one's actually pretty simple.


Vowel sound... Very important distinction... It's "an hour", but yet its "a hit", because the "h" isn't pronounced in the former, but is in the latter...

But, like ciberido clarified later, that's just the rule, not the reasoning behind it...
 
2013-03-19 06:00:22 PM

andychrist420: ciberido: Why is it "I gave you an apple" but not "I gave you an money"? Why is it "I gave you an apple" but "I gave you a red apple"? Why did the article for apple change from "an" to "a"? When should I use "a", when should I use "an", and when no article?

You use "an" when the next word starts with a vowel.  That one's actually pretty simple.


I put those two paragraphs in a different font to suggest I was quoting one of my students.  I used to teach English overseas, and those are all questions I was asked and tried to answer.

Sorry, I should have explained more explicitly that I was quoting someone else.

In my defense, it's another example of trading "error-correction" for speed: I was less clear in order to make my post shorter.
 
2013-03-19 07:40:32 PM
In all these apostrophe misuse rants, I've never seen anyone complaining about this site's title on the main page. It should be Drew Curtis's FARK.com. It makes no difference when a singular noun ends with an s.
 
2013-03-19 09:22:08 PM
fark you subby.
 
2013-03-20 07:58:48 PM

1-phenylpropan-2-amine: fark you subby.


s'ubby.
 
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