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(TMZ)   In reality, Chuck Norris still has his beard; it has simply become too awesome for us mere mortals to view   (tmz.com) divider line 85
    More: Sad, Chuck Norris, beards  
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9912 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 19 Mar 2013 at 7:23 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-19 02:43:23 AM
So where's the picture of the beardless Chuck? All I see is what appears to be a lesbian dressed in sporting apparel.
 
2013-03-19 07:21:11 AM
ll-media.tmz.com

Chuck Norris is a young(er) Rupert Murdock?
 
2013-03-19 07:43:55 AM
Chuck Norris is so fearsome, he scared his own chin away.
 
2013-03-19 07:45:51 AM
Sometimes I think about how nice it will be when Chuck Norris dies, and the hype dies off too, and I never have to hear anything about him again.
 
2013-03-19 07:47:38 AM
I, for one, am very much looking forward to the Chuck Norris death notice thread on this here website.
 
2013-03-19 07:48:28 AM
So beards are out during the Thousand Years of Darkness? Good to know.
 
2013-03-19 07:50:07 AM

SpdrJay: Sometimes I think about how nice it will be when Chuck Norris dies, and the hype dies off too, and I never have to hear anything about him again.


Agreed. The whole Chuck Norris schtick became even more tired after he began to embrace and encourage it himself.
 
2013-03-19 07:52:56 AM

Sybarite: So beards are out during the Thousand Years of Darkness? Good to know.


Good thing he's getting a tan before they really set in.
 
2013-03-19 08:00:43 AM

Two Dogs Farking: Chuck Norris is so fearsome, he scared his own chin away.


Chuck Norris is so tough, that he became a right-wing ideologue spouting hateful rhetoric! Did I do it right?
 
2013-03-19 08:02:38 AM
Behind Chuck Norris' beard there is no chin, just a whole lot of dents that look like balls.
 
2013-03-19 08:05:51 AM
The sheer volume of dye needed to turn it unnaturally jet black for the Expendables 2 probably poisoned the follicles causing the whole thing to fall off.
 
2013-03-19 08:08:31 AM

Shvetz: Two Dogs Farking: Chuck Norris is so fearsome, he scared his own chin away.

Chuck Norris is so tough, that he became a right-wing ideologue spouting hateful rhetoric! Did I do it right?


nailed it
 
2013-03-19 08:14:23 AM
Awwww, he shaved his beard.  That's so sad for you.
 
2013-03-19 08:19:24 AM
stalinsmoustache.files.wordpress.com

*feels his pain*


/obscure?
 
2013-03-19 08:21:53 AM
I don't get the Chuck Norris meme either (though I DID like Forced Vengeance and Code of Silence), but in his defense, isn't he 70 something??

I think he looks pretty damned good for 70 something
 
2013-03-19 08:27:45 AM
Who knew that behind Chuck Norris' beard was Willem DaFoe?
 
2013-03-19 08:29:12 AM

Barricaded Gunman: The whole Chuck Norris schtick became even more tired after he began to embrace and encourage it himself.


I bet you rolled your eyes when Rick Romero declared "water is wet".
 
2013-03-19 08:36:54 AM

buntz: I don't get the Chuck Norris meme either (though I DID like Forced Vengeance and Code of Silence), but in his defense, isn't he 70 something??

I think he looks pretty damned good for 70 something


He just turned 73, I The Googled him.
 
2013-03-19 08:51:12 AM
Chuck Norris's ideas cause cancer. Fortunately, Chuck Norris has never had an idea.
 
2013-03-19 08:51:57 AM
He looks like Jason Robards.
 
2013-03-19 08:53:28 AM
Looks like an old mexican to me
 
2013-03-19 09:05:50 AM
Chuck Norris is a lousy actor, his movies were all terrible, Walker: Texas Ranger was only enjoyable if you were a 95 year old blind and deaf invalid and his social and political opinions are so poorly thought-out that a third grader would be embarrassed to turn them in as an informal homework assignment.

Considering everything about Chuck Norris is a total failure I can kind of understand the internet's infatuation, but it's still sort of annoying..
 
2013-03-19 09:10:45 AM
Who new that if he shaved his beard and got the right haircut, he was born to play a live-action Homer Simpson.
 
2013-03-19 09:14:04 AM
william H. Macy is looking pretty fit these days...
 
2013-03-19 09:14:06 AM

skozlaw: Chuck Norris is a lousy actor, his movies were all terrible, Walker: Texas Ranger was only enjoyable if you were a 95 year old blind and deaf invalid and his social and political opinions are so poorly thought-out that a third grader would be embarrassed to turn them in as an informal homework assignment.

Considering everything about Chuck Norris is a total failure I can kind of understand the internet's infatuation, but it's still sort of annoying..


Feel better?
 
2013-03-19 09:15:17 AM
static.tvguide.com
 
2013-03-19 09:16:32 AM

SpdrJay: Sometimes I think about how nice it will be when Chuck Norris dies, and the hype dies off too, and I never have to hear anything about him again.


Chuck Norris won't die. Death with Chuck Norris.
 
2013-03-19 09:17:08 AM

GameSprocket: SpdrJay: Sometimes I think about how nice it will be when Chuck Norris dies, and the hype dies off too, and I never have to hear anything about him again.

Chuck Norris won't die. Death with will Chuck Norris.


FTFM. Damn.
 
2013-03-19 09:18:25 AM

GameSprocket: Death with Chuck Norris.


My new favorite TV show that never existed.

/yet.
/please, CBS?
 
2013-03-19 09:26:52 AM

SpdrJay: Sometimes I think about how nice it will be when Chuck Norris dies, and the hype dies off too, and I never have to hear anything about him again.


Seriously.  He's not funny, and his ridiculous "thousand years of darkness" derp just shows you what a moron he is.  Can we all just ignore him, please?
 
2013-03-19 09:33:55 AM

Jim from Saint Paul: [stalinsmoustache.files.wordpress.com image 340x332]
*feels his pain*
/obscure?


Nothing is obscure on FARK.  It was his hair that gave him awesome strength, not his beard.
 
2013-03-19 09:37:50 AM
www.laobserved.com

Actors often change appearances based on the roles they are asked to portray
 
2013-03-19 09:39:53 AM
Who's this guy you keep talking about who got his ass kicked by Bruce Lee? Charles Something-or-Other? I'm going to go now and watch Enter the Dragon.
 
2013-03-19 09:55:24 AM
ethicsalarms.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-19 09:57:48 AM

trotsky: I'm going to go now and watch Enter the Dragon.


John Saxon > Chuck Norris
 
2013-03-19 10:07:54 AM

skozlaw: Chuck Norris is a lousy actor, his movies were all terrible, Walker: Texas Ranger was only enjoyable if you were a 95 year old blind and deaf invalid and his social and political opinions are so poorly thought-out that a third grader would be embarrassed to turn them in as an informal homework assignment.

Considering everything about Chuck Norris is a total failure I can kind of understand the internet's infatuation, but it's still sort of annoying..


Hey look, someone finally got the meaning behind all the Chuck Norris jokes!
 
2013-03-19 10:27:56 AM
Chuck Norris can Chuck Norris a Chuck Norris.

...and you can take that to the bank.
 
2013-03-19 10:37:57 AM

SpdrJay: Sometimes I think about how nice it will be when Chuck Norris dies, and the hype dies off too, and I never have to hear anything about him again.




lulz.
 
2013-03-19 10:38:49 AM
Can Chuck Norris deliver a round kick so hard that even Chuck Norris cannot defend it?

And Chuck Norris promptly disappeared in a puff of logic.
 
2013-03-19 10:47:12 AM

skozlaw: Chuck Norris is a lousy actor, his movies were all terrible, Walker: Texas Ranger was only enjoyable if you were a 95 year old blind and deaf invalid and his social and political opinions are so poorly thought-out that a third grader would be embarrassed to turn them in as an informal homework assignment.

Considering everything about Chuck Norris is a total failure I can kind of understand the internet's infatuation, but it's still sort of annoying..


You've obviously never seen Lone Wolf McQuade--  I mean the guy pulls a Popeye, but substitutes spinach for beer and manages drive his Ram Charger out of an early grave with only the power of his manly grunting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQkyi1_l6po

/and then he makes Commander Chakotay get him another beer.
 
2013-03-19 10:50:21 AM
I never understood the hype about Carlos Norris, but I give him props for withstanding the horrible pain he must have endured when he got his chest waxed.

Dude was like a farking otter.
 
2013-03-19 10:59:44 AM
Lincoln Wins.

/not obscure
//or is it
///no its not
////cleopatra vs marilyn monroe is worth the visit
 
2013-03-19 11:21:57 AM
Chuck Norris would've kicked Bruce Lee's ass six ways to Sunday.
 
2013-03-19 11:25:06 AM

chewielouie: Chuck Norris would've kicked Bruce Lee's ass six ways to Sunday.


Um.....not really.....
 
2013-03-19 11:27:39 AM

skozlaw: Considering everything about Chuck Norris is a total failure I can kind of understand the internet's infatuation, but it's still sort of annoying..


I don't like anything about his acting or his political "beliefs", but the guy did have an outstanding martial arts career. So, not everything about him is a failure, I'll give him that much.
 
2013-03-19 11:28:30 AM

Lt. Cheese Weasel: chewielouie: Chuck Norris would've kicked Bruce Lee's ass six ways to Sunday.

Um.....not really.....


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-19 11:35:41 AM

eyeq360: Jim from Saint Paul: [stalinsmoustache.files.wordpress.com image 340x332]
*feels his pain*
/obscure?

Nothing is obscure on FARK.  It was his hair that gave him awesome strength, not his beard.


And Norris get's HIS strenth from his beard.

He is vulnerable to his enemies now.
 
2013-03-19 11:38:08 AM
cdn.ph.upi.com
In reality, Chuck Norris still has his beard (pictured at left)
 
2013-03-19 11:59:18 AM
I love seeing the haters come out for Chuck Norris thread.

Yes, most of his work is cheese ball, but it kinda like the godzilla movies...it made it even more awsome.

Lone Wofe and Silent Rage were passable movies, but it wasn't because of Norris.
 
2013-03-19 12:12:33 PM
F**K Chunk Norris !
 
2013-03-19 12:14:10 PM
Where is the third fist?
 
2013-03-19 12:14:49 PM

EyeballKid: [cdn.ph.upi.com image 483x354]
In reality, Chuck Norris still has his beard (pictured at left)


i1171.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-19 12:51:00 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't suck cock. Cock sucks him...

/amidoingitright?
 
2013-03-19 12:58:59 PM
I submitted this with a more accurate headline, calling him a "pitiful old kook".

/fark this old has-been. Anyone from Alton Brown to Pee-Wee Herman are more deserving of a meme than this jerkoff.
 
2013-03-19 01:21:49 PM
What makes me sad about CNorris
By TheMysticS

He looks good for his age. So clearly, exercising is good for your aging bones.

But what about the life he's lived? He's been all around the world. He's experienced many different cultures; met all kinds of people.
He embraced pieces of the cultures he'd found appealing, namely martial arts.
He's had a movie career, a television career, a sports-fitness infomercial career, and even an internet career.
He's made himself into an American icon, like it or not.

And what has he learned?
Nothing. Every piece of his life, he lived to enrich himself. Nothing wrong with that, in theory. But nothing he experienced changed his slide into an old, mean, greedy bastard.
His generation got to grow up thinking that if you were a white guy, you deserved your place at the top of society. The world was your oyster- everyone around you are just players on your field- pawns and insignificants to be ignored, or annihilated. If a player comes around that has power- you have other choices- become a syncophant, or try to piss higher on the pole than them.

Everything else is just details of insignificance.

My dad (in law) is one of those.
I love him very much.
But this world will be better when this generation is gone.
When Chuck Norris is dead, and all of his generation is dead, at least we know America will have a chance to throw off the remaining shackles of inequality and divisiveness that keeps our country from fully moving forward, from coming together, from evolving.
Sure, there's going to be ignorant people everywhere. Certainly, there will be bullies, racists, takers. But the generation that believed it was the way things should be will no longer strangle progress, having been ousted from power by the great equalizer, death.

Anyway, I have hope.
 
2013-03-19 01:26:03 PM

FirstNationalBastard: I submitted this with a more accurate headline, calling him a "pitiful old kook".

/fark this old has-been. Anyone from Alton Brown to Pee-Wee Herman are more deserving of a meme than this jerkoff.


And with that, you just blew my theory out of the water.

Alton is a prime example of learning nothing about human kindness and compassion from his journeys.
 
2013-03-19 01:27:25 PM

TheMysticS: FirstNationalBastard: I submitted this with a more accurate headline, calling him a "pitiful old kook".

/fark this old has-been. Anyone from Alton Brown to Pee-Wee Herman are more deserving of a meme than this jerkoff.

And with that, you just blew my theory out of the water.

Alton is a prime example of learning nothing about human kindness and compassion from his journeys.


So, the generation after has to die now?
 
2013-03-19 01:28:10 PM
He's a right-wing religious nutjob. He was never cool, he was never someone to look up to. He believes gays shouldn't have the same rights. He believes that women shouldn't have the right to choose an abortion. He believes a lot of really, really shiatty things that repress the individuality rights of others which is hugely ironic for someone who claims to be a freedom fighter. Love the actor/martial artist/entertainer, whatever - Just know that the man himself is farking reprehensible as a human being.
 
2013-03-19 01:30:21 PM
 
2013-03-19 01:32:02 PM

sevente: So where's the picture of the beardless Chuck? All I see is what appears to be a lesbian dressed in sporting apparel.


Trapped in 1000 years of darkness I'd assume.
 
2013-03-19 01:32:15 PM
He looks pretty good for dying of auto-erotic asphyxiation in Thailand a few years ago.
 
2013-03-19 01:35:31 PM

FirstNationalBastard: TheMysticS: FirstNationalBastard: I submitted this with a more accurate headline, calling him a "pitiful old kook".

/fark this old has-been. Anyone from Alton Brown to Pee-Wee Herman are more deserving of a meme than this jerkoff.

And with that, you just blew my theory out of the water.

Alton is a prime example of learning nothing about human kindness and compassion from his journeys.

So, the generation after has to die now?


Haha, yeah. that's it!
If every generation just dies out, life will be soo much better!

/was slightly tongue-in-cheek
//now just looks like dick in mouth
///I laugh at myself all day. It's a hobby
 
2013-03-19 01:36:43 PM

skozlaw: Chuck Norris is a lousy actor, his movies were all terrible, Walker: Texas Ranger was only enjoyable if you were a 95 year old blind and deaf invalid and his social and political opinions are so poorly thought-out that a third grader would be embarrassed to turn them in as an informal homework assignment.

Considering everything about Chuck Norris is a total failure I can kind of understand the internet's infatuation, but it's still sort of annoying..


You are a blast at parties aren't you?
 
2013-03-19 01:37:39 PM

farkingismybusiness: He looks pretty good for dying of auto-erotic asphyxiation in Thailand a few years ago.


No man, he was the guy who tried to bang Jenny McCarthy on a casting couch.
 
2013-03-19 01:49:44 PM
It's obvious that Carlos Norris had a face lift, judging by his Kenny Rogers eyes and lack of wrinkles.  Of course, he probably just willed his skin to pull back and tighten itself, right?
 
2013-03-19 02:05:44 PM

SpdrJay: Sometimes I think about how nice it will be when Chuck Norris dies, and the hype dies off too, and I never have to hear anything about him again.


Slow down... Can't we find a comfortable medium between idolotry verses wishing for his death?   I never liked the meme either, but truth be told, he's still a cool and reputable guy
 
2013-03-19 03:00:50 PM
How much norris would a chuck norris chuck if chuck norris could chuck norris?
 
2013-03-19 03:13:39 PM
I was fairly sick of Chuck Norris jokes about a month after they started. But what really did it for me was seeing him in a WoW commercial. I think it's a law of physics or something that you cannot be afraid of (or impressed by) someone who's trying to get you to play WoW.
 
2013-03-19 03:46:48 PM
More like Chunk Norris, am I right? Do some sit-ups, dude.
 
2013-03-19 03:50:42 PM

trotsky: Who's this guy you keep talking about who got his ass kicked by Bruce Lee? Charles Something-or-Other? I'm going to go now and watch Enter the Dragon.


And yet Bruce is dead and Chuck is still here, so who really defeated who?
 
2013-03-19 04:38:23 PM
He looks like an old lesbian.
 
2013-03-19 04:39:16 PM
Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the earth and punch  himself in the back of the head..
 
2013-03-19 05:27:37 PM

Smeggy Smurf: How much norris would a chuck norris chuck if chuck norris could chuck norris?



As much chuck norris as a chuck norris could if chuck norris could chuck norris.
 
2013-03-19 06:03:33 PM
The only "Chuck Norris" I ever heard (and liked) was: Before Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for Till Lindemann.

LOL

/obscure?
 
2013-03-19 07:58:14 PM
media.comicvine.com
 
2013-03-19 08:52:47 PM
You get the feeling, these days, that he actually believes his own meme.

loonatic112358: trotsky: Who's this guy you keep talking about who got his ass kicked by Bruce Lee? Charles Something-or-Other? I'm going to go now and watch Enter the Dragon.

And yet Bruce is dead and Chuck is still here, so who really defeated who?


Some "warrior." Bruce dies by misadventure, legacy intact, while Carlos will enjoy, at best, a straw death as he watches his legacy nibbled to death by fundamentalist ducks.
/"Your father's not in Valhalla - he died of old age!"
 
2013-03-19 09:13:34 PM

eyeq360: Jim from Saint Paul: [stalinsmoustache.files.wordpress.com image 340x332]
*feels his pain*
/obscure?

Nothing is obscure on FARK.  It was his hair that gave him awesome strength, not his beard.


that story wouldn't be oscure anywhere.

/If I had my way, if I had my way, if I had my way.I would tear this old building down.
 
2013-03-19 09:29:02 PM
Bill Brasky would eat Chuck Norris alive. And by the time he crapped him out he would have turned into delicious fudge.
 
2013-03-19 10:27:52 PM
Wow lots of extremely hateful 'enlightened' folks here.

Guess what?  Old man (73) is old.  They often have dumb right wing ideas.

And oh noes he got his ass kicked by Bruce Lee.

Guess what?  EVERYONE gets their ass kicked by Bruce motherfarking Lee.

The new beard champion is Daniel Bryan by the way.
 
2013-03-20 03:07:05 AM

Representative of the unwashed masses: Wow lots of extremely hateful 'enlightened' folks here.

Guess what?  Old man (73) is old.  They often have dumb right wing ideas.

And oh noes he got his ass kicked by Bruce Lee.

Guess what?  EVERYONE gets their ass kicked by Bruce motherfarking Lee.

The new beard champion is Daniel Bryan by the way.


www.wwe.com
 
2013-03-20 08:32:36 AM
I would make fun of tmz, but really, that screaming video was as self-insulting as anything could be. My IQ dropped 20 points watching it.
 
2013-03-20 09:09:51 AM

SpdrJay: Sometimes I think about how nice it will be when Chuck Norris dies, and the hype dies off too, and I never have to hear anything about him again.


Chuck Norris died in 1987, but the Grim Reaper is too afraid to tell him.

/sorry, had to say it
 
2013-03-20 10:08:57 AM

Barricaded Gunman: SpdrJay: Sometimes I think about how nice it will be when Chuck Norris dies, and the hype dies off too, and I never have to hear anything about him again.

Agreed. The whole Chuck Norris schtick became even more tired after he began to embrace and encourage it himself.


Not only did Chuck Norris get his ass kicked by Bruce Lee, but he's a farking twat too.
 
2013-03-20 01:51:28 PM

FormlessOne: You get the feeling, these days, that he actually believes his own meme.

loonatic112358: trotsky: Who's this guy you keep talking about who got his ass kicked by Bruce Lee? Charles Something-or-Other? I'm going to go now and watch Enter the Dragon.

And yet Bruce is dead and Chuck is still here, so who really defeated who?

Some "warrior." Bruce dies by misadventure, legacy intact, while Carlos will enjoy, at best, a straw death as he watches his legacy nibbled to death by fundamentalist ducks.
/"Your father's not in Valhalla - he died of old age!"


And it wasn't even a proper misadventure, it was an allergic reaction to OTC medicine.

/Bruce Lee could have died by being crushed by a piano dropped from the roof of a skyscraper and his legacy would still be intact
//I actually shook hand with and stood next to Carlos. He's not as big as you would think -- 5'9, maybe 5'10
 
2013-03-20 11:06:45 PM
I like the people calling him Carlos, as if that's an insult.  And how many farkers talking about what a shiatty actor he was are so-called Bronies?
 
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