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(The Atlantic)   17,616 men have suffered the most humiliating and painful injury a man can endure from the grinding teeth of an unforgiving soulless monster   (theatlantic.com) divider line 20
    More: Scary, emergency rooms  
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17986 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Mar 2013 at 7:35 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-19 07:11:13 AM  
5 votes:
2.bp.blogspot.com
2013-03-19 08:42:26 AM  
2 votes:

Bendal




Are that many men out there who forego underwear? I mean, come on; you unzip, whip it out, do your business, tuck it back in the underwear, zip up. I guess if you're going commando the chance that a hair or skin might get caught in the zipper, but you know, that's why they made underwear. To give you an extra layer of protective clothing between personal bits and the toothy zipper beast.

/or you could just unbelt/unbutton the pants when you need to go


There is the fatal design in the standard boxer shorts where a person may have believed that he secured the package. Yet prior to zipping the hangar closed, the dirigible decides to slide out past the boxer opening and in to the line of fire. I've been bitten enough times that I am extra careful when wearing the traditional boxers and packing the Graf Zepplin away.
2013-03-19 08:31:26 AM  
2 votes:
ZIppers send men to the ER?  Ha.  I send zippers to the repair shop.

I was building a tree house for some under privileged kids this past Saturday.  Had to nail in a board at an awkward angle while on a ladder.  Didn't realize for fifteen or twenty whacks that I was nailing it into my penis.  Looked alright there, so I left it.

On airplanes, I'm not allowed to sit in the exit row seat by the door.  I have to sit in the one by the aisle.  If the shiat were to go down, they want my penis manning the hatch, so I lean over and he sits there.

It's redwood flavored.

When I was a kid, I loved the movie Never Ending Story.  Not for the characters or plot.  I dreamed of someday using Falcor as a talking cock muffler.

You'll know if I've been plowing your wife.  You'll pull down her panties and a bright pink tube sock will roll down.  And you'll frown.

There working on a distributed storage system big enough to host my penis picture website.  There's one image: mypenis.jpg.
2013-03-19 07:53:48 AM  
2 votes:

dittybopper: BTW, it's 17,616 over 8 years, or just 2,202 per year.  Probably the same 2,000 people over and over again.


Yeah, but if it were lady parts being injured there would already be a dozen charities holding competing 5k walks/runs by now.
2013-03-19 07:50:25 AM  
2 votes:
semper ubi sub ubi
2013-03-19 07:50:13 AM  
2 votes:
Someone should stop Lindsay Lohan.
2013-03-19 07:39:50 AM  
2 votes:
Protip:

Put your dick in your pants BEFORE you zip up.
2013-03-19 07:20:29 AM  
2 votes:
BTW, it's 17,616 over 8 years, or just 2,202 per year.  Probably the same 2,000 people over and over again.
2013-03-19 09:56:46 AM  
1 votes:
You down with YKK?

/ Oh shiat, no way!
2013-03-19 09:44:31 AM  
1 votes:

Harry Freakstorm: There is the fatal design in the standard boxer shorts where a person may have believed that he secured the package. Yet prior to zipping the hangar closed, the dirigible decides to slide out past the boxer opening and in to the line of fire. I've been bitten enough times that I am extra careful when wearing the traditional boxers and packing the Graf Zepplin away.


Coincidentally, the phrase "Oh, the humanity!" is often heard shortly afterwards.
2013-03-19 08:41:30 AM  
1 votes:
I've done it while drunk. The initial shock was sobering but the "back-tracking" was the part that makes me want to curl up in the shower and cry.
2013-03-19 08:04:47 AM  
1 votes:

Summer Glau's Love Slave: 17,617

/Just yesterday.
//Owie ow ow ow ow!


I know th article said I'm supposed to feel compassion and empathy, but...LOL.
2013-03-19 08:02:53 AM  
1 votes:
Better make it 17,617

www.viceland.com
2013-03-19 07:57:41 AM  
1 votes:
I got it caught in the zipper of my footie pajamas when I was really young.  Twice.

/damn thing built up a lot of static, too
//the PJs, not my dingdong
///CSB
2013-03-19 07:54:04 AM  
1 votes:
One of the hazzards of free ballin
2013-03-19 07:46:20 AM  
1 votes:

slayer199:


How'd you get the beans above the frank?
2013-03-19 07:44:24 AM  
1 votes:
That's a suspiciously precise number. How much in lost production did this cause during March Madness?
2013-03-19 07:42:11 AM  
1 votes:
17,616 men blame zippers when trying to do something stupid with their penis.
2013-03-19 07:06:10 AM  
1 votes:
Sure, text while driving. Go swimming 10 minutes after Thanksgiving dinner. Stick your dick in crazy. But for God's sake, if there's ONE moment in life to be a little extra cautious....
2013-03-19 02:15:38 AM  
1 votes:
Mom?
 
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