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Cardinals hire new manager, man sought for bestiality charge may be on the lamb, and Carnival becomes the Windows ME of the cruise world: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/10 - 3/16 
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-03-18 4:45:57 PM (13 comments) | Permalink

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2087 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Mar 2013 at 6:16 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



You'll notice one small change this week--the top voted headline of the week was "Cardinals hire new manager" and it's brilliant, but technically, it's a context headline that will be in the context contest.

Most of the time, I don't list the context headlines here, but I've decided that when a context headline performs so well, I'll still show it here, even though it'll be in another contest later.

It won't change the Headline of the Year contest at all, but you'll get to appreciate it in these weekly writeups

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-03-10 to Sat 2013-03-16:

img.fark.net  Woman caught performing sex act on boyfriend inside bank. It's not clear if he left a deposit    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Image of Jesus appears on car's windshield. Must have been a Christler    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Cardinals hire new manager    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Entire Vatican library to be digitized across 2.8 pedobytes    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Carnival, the Windows ME of the cruising world, has yet another ship stuck in Safe Mode    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Why the new pope, even though he is a Jesuit, chose the name "Francis" rather than Ignatius to honor his order's founder: Maybe to invoke St Francis' commitment to charity and social justice, or maybe just to avoid being "Iggy Pope"    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Reporters can't track down man charged with bestiality. Could be he's already on the lamb    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Inoperable NYC railroad station elevator nicknamed a "vertical urinal". NYC subways still considered horizontal urinals    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Violin played while the Titanic sank in 1912, goes on display with no strings attached    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  ♫The poop police, they live inside of my head. The poop police, they come to me in my bed. The poop police, they're coming to arrest me, oh no♫  

img.fark.net  LAFD sprayed the foam to drown the bees that killed the dog that jumped the tree that the neighbors chopped that housed the hive that hurt the dog whose owners declined to speak on cam but said "never would have expected this" -- will get jack squat  


Sports:

img.fark.net  Nani... Nami... Nnamdi...Notgonnaworkhere anymore, am I right?    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Ray Lewis allegedly joining ESPN as an analyst, which is odd as he didn't see anything    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Duke is sucked out of the ACC tournament by Maryland    img.fark.net


Geek:

img.fark.net  New study says length of DNA strands can predict life expectancy, prove Peter North may be immortal    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Self-healing computer chips invented. Take that, Dave    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Researchers discover penis can cure migraines. No word on whether one must apply directly to forehead    img.fark.net


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  Bob Dylan voted into American Academy of Arts and Mmgrmphms    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Apparently Jason Statham is the only actor who is willing to pass on Star Wars VII: A New Hip    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Bruce Dickinson (yes, THE Bruce Dickinson) introduces Iron Maiden Trooper Beer. It tastes okay, but could use a little more cowbell    img.fark.net


Politics:

img.fark.net  North Korea makes good on one of its threats. Of course, it was the threat to lock itself in the bathroom and not talk to anyone until it gets its way, but that's still a threat    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Forbes says that the Denver Post says that the Associated Press says that Homeland Security wants to buy 1.6 billion rounds of ammunition. So I guess it's pretty serious    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  To offset liberal bias, university to add "Conservative Thought and Policy" professor. Topics of study include "The Reagan Colonoscopy: A Journey Inside Greatness"    img.fark.net


Business:

img.fark.net  Kraft joins the NASDAQ 100 on the news that Kraft is TFARK spelled backwards    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Air India jet clips a JetBlue airliner on the tarmac at JFK. Pilot says he was caught off guard when the JetBlue plane actually started to taxi towards a runway    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  U.S factory employees averaged a record 41.9 hours a week in February, or as six-year-old Nike workers call it: the swing shift    img.fark.net
· · ·
(view entire blog)


13 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2013-03-18 06:54:24 PM  
Is "Cardinals" eligible for HOTY?
 
2013-03-18 06:57:48 PM  

foo monkey: Is "Cardinals" eligible for HOTY?


Only as a context headline, if I rightly understand the rules. (I might not)
 
2013-03-18 07:00:03 PM  

Prattle Assassin: foo monkey: Is "Cardinals" eligible for HOTY?

Only as a context headline, if I rightly understand the rules. (I might not)


That's what I'm reading, too. It'd be a damned shame.
 
2013-03-18 07:10:22 PM  

foo monkey: Is "Cardinals" eligible for HOTY?


It is, but in the "context" category. On its own, the headline isn't funny. UNTIL you click the link, then you see it's genius. It's really tricky, because every time there's a big breaking story, the best headline is almost always a context headline, but right at that moment, everybody knows what the story is about.

But typically, I give it the napkin test. I ask myself--if I were to write that headline on a cocktail napkin and show it to somebody, would they understand the joke without any other reference to the story? What makes the Cardinal joke funny is that it sounds like a baseball headline--until they click the link and see it's a reference to the Vatican cardinals. That's what makes it so good. But six months from now, that won't pass the napkin test.
 
2013-03-18 07:26:24 PM  
I agree with you, but I don't want too.

/Juan Moore got screwed.
//impellered?
 
2013-03-18 07:29:23 PM  
Unfreakable:  What makes the Cardinal joke funny is that it sounds like a baseball headline--until they click the link and see it's a reference to the Vatican cardinals. That's what makes it so good.

That explains a great deal.
 
2013-03-18 08:13:17 PM  
No "Seizurrup" :( or is that for the coming week?
 
2013-03-18 08:24:49 PM  

Unfreakable: But six months from now, that won't pass the napkin test.


Six Months? I doubt that joke will have context 3 weeks from now.
And, Mr. Unfreakable, I just want to say how impressed I am with all the work you do throughout the year on HOTW, and HOTY. You sir, are the FARKingest Farker that ever Farked. And I mean that sincerely.
 
2013-03-18 08:56:12 PM  

bugcrusher: Unfreakable: But six months from now, that won't pass the napkin test.

Six Months? I doubt that joke will have context 3 weeks from now.
And, Mr. Unfreakable, I just want to say how impressed I am with all the work you do throughout the year on HOTW, and HOTY. You sir, are the FARKingest Farker that ever Farked. And I mean that sincerely.


Unfreakable is also just a plain ole good guy. Now matter how this turns out.
 
2013-03-18 09:11:58 PM  
"on the lamb" :-(
 
2013-03-18 09:49:50 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: bugcrusher: Unfreakable: But six months from now, that won't pass the napkin test.

Six Months? I doubt that joke will have context 3 weeks from now.
And, Mr. Unfreakable, I just want to say how impressed I am with all the work you do throughout the year on HOTW, and HOTY. You sir, are the FARKingest Farker that ever Farked. And I mean that sincerely.

Unfreakable is also just a plain ole good guy. No matter how this turns out.


FTFM
 
2013-03-18 10:35:13 PM  

bugcrusher: Unfreakable: But six months from now, that won't pass the napkin test.

Six Months? I doubt that joke will have context 3 weeks from now.
And, Mr. Unfreakable, I just want to say how impressed I am with all the work you do throughout the year on HOTW, and HOTY. You sir, are the FARKingest Farker that ever Farked. And I mean that sincerely.


So I guess the moral of the story is the pedobytes headline has more shelf life.
 
2013-03-20 05:39:33 AM  
well that's disappointing. I struck out this week

/come HOTY contests, I'll discover that half the context headlines are mine
//hey, a man can dream
 
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