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(BBC)   Child trapped in pizza machine suffers broken knuckles, hopefully does not have to have his hand tossed   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 65
    More: Scary, Solihull, rollers, West Midlands Ambulance Service, Birmingham Children's Hospital  
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6020 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Mar 2013 at 2:46 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-18 02:48:01 PM
Give the boy a hand.
 
2013-03-18 02:48:47 PM
D'ough.
 
2013-03-18 02:49:01 PM
Pizza machine???
 
2013-03-18 02:50:52 PM
Why is a 5 year old anywhere near that shiat in the first place?
 
2013-03-18 02:51:14 PM
Why in the hell was a young child allowed to be around the dough rolling equipment in the first place?
 
2013-03-18 02:51:45 PM
I think I'll pass on the stuffed crust pizza.
 
2013-03-18 02:51:45 PM
That story needs more toppings.
 
2013-03-18 02:52:04 PM
Better having his hand tossed than his salad.

/Hey, Pedo Bear... too old?
 
2013-03-18 02:52:18 PM
lh4.ggpht.com

Missed it by - ' ' - that much ...
 
2013-03-18 02:52:33 PM
I read the article hoping to learn more of this magic pizza machine. But alas, they merely meant bread kneading machine. For the dough.

How did this become world broadcast news.. how did this even get reported as local news. I've lived in no stoplight towns that wouldn't even consider this news. Hell, I might not even tell most of my friends if this happened around me.
 
2013-03-18 02:55:17 PM

neongoats: I read the article hoping to learn more of this magic pizza machine. But alas, they merely meant bread kneading machine. For the dough.

How did this become world broadcast news.. how did this even get reported as local news. I've lived in no stoplight towns that wouldn't even consider this news. Hell, I might not even tell most of my friends if this happened around me.


You would witness a child getting his fingers mangled to the point where he needs to go to a hospital and would not even think this worth mentioning?

I hope that I never, ever get that coldhearted.
 
2013-03-18 02:55:29 PM

TomD9938: That story needs more toppings.


Kneads more detail, at least.
 
2013-03-18 02:56:16 PM
His 5 knuckle shuffle will never be the same.
 
2013-03-18 02:56:45 PM
SAUSAGE PIZZA!!!!!!
 
2013-03-18 02:56:55 PM
www.torontobakery.com

Not a toy stupid.
 
2013-03-18 02:58:26 PM

abfalter: neongoats: I read the article hoping to learn more of this magic pizza machine. But alas, they merely meant bread kneading machine. For the dough.

How did this become world broadcast news.. how did this even get reported as local news. I've lived in no stoplight towns that wouldn't even consider this news. Hell, I might not even tell most of my friends if this happened around me.

You would witness a child getting his fingers mangled to the point where he needs to go to a hospital and would not even think this worth mentioning?

I hope that I never, ever get that coldhearted.


Child should be happy he isn't the pizza. I'll learn his name when he reaches age 12 or so and has something to say, till then, pizza slut!
 
2013-03-18 03:00:14 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-18 03:00:44 PM
He was aiming for the the plushie-filled claw machine and took a wrong turn at the Albaturkey(TM) Sandwich Machine.

AlbaTurkey(TM)Sandwiches Inc.: Our guarantee to you: all white meat. NO HORSE, OF COURSE, OF COURSE.
 
2013-03-18 03:03:49 PM

neongoats: But alas, they merely meant bread kneading machine.


Pretty sure it was a dough roller:


www.bakeryequipment.com

You drop a flattened ball of dough in the opening at the top. The dough is pressed between two rollers, flattening and elogating it. Then you turn the dough 90°, and slide it between the other two rollers. This flattens the dough further, and results in a nice flat, round piece of dough, perfect for a pizza.
 
2013-03-18 03:05:34 PM
I thought England had a national ban on children for their safety?
 
2013-03-18 03:09:57 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: neongoats: But alas, they merely meant bread kneading machine.

Pretty sure it was a dough roller:


[www.bakeryequipment.com image 250x263]

You drop a flattened ball of dough in the opening at the top. The dough is pressed between two rollers, flattening and elogating it. Then you turn the dough 90°, and slide it between the other two rollers. This flattens the dough further, and results in a nice flat, round piece of dough, perfect for a pizza.


Used those. they are kinda of good when you are hiring the kind of skilled labor that has no skills. Or when you are trying to shave every penny from payroll. Which would explain a lot about the food industry.

/I like then hand tosse.... oh, subby, I see what you did there,
 
2013-03-18 03:11:35 PM

abfalter: neongoats: I read the article hoping to learn more of this magic pizza machine. But alas, they merely meant bread kneading machine. For the dough.

How did this become world broadcast news.. how did this even get reported as local news. I've lived in no stoplight towns that wouldn't even consider this news. Hell, I might not even tell most of my friends if this happened around me.

You would witness a child getting his fingers mangled to the point where he needs to go to a hospital and would not even think this worth mentioning?

I hope that I never, ever get that coldhearted.


Dear knee-jerk reaction farker,

All neongoats wrote was that s/he didn't know how this made the news.  And neither do I.  Five-year-olds will do stupid shiat 24/7/365 when left unsupervised.  Ya wanna vent your righteous indignation?   Find out who was responsible for the kid at the time and take it out on them.
 
2013-03-18 03:11:51 PM
Things like this wouldn't happen if we all ate NY hand-tossed.

/NY Pizza - best in the world!
 
2013-03-18 03:14:11 PM
Has anybody ever eaten British pizaa? What's the verdict, because i can't imagine it being any good?
 
2013-03-18 03:16:08 PM

prjindigo: I thought England had a national ban on children for their safety?


fark we should make it world wide
 
2013-03-18 03:17:30 PM
Good thing his fingers didn't end up as flat as dominoes.
 
2013-03-18 03:17:42 PM

drongozone: Has anybody ever eaten British pizaa? What's the verdict, because i can't imagine it being any good?


I've been expending considerable amounts of mental energy trying to NOT imagine what the British have done to pizza.

According to Douglas Adams, you can't get one delivered there =p
 
2013-03-18 03:25:35 PM

drongozone: Has anybody ever eaten British pizaa? What's the verdict, because i can't imagine it being any good?


I haven't, but it's probably safe to assume that eel is a required ingredient of any British pie.
 
2013-03-18 03:26:07 PM
omahadriver.com

Too bad it was an ordinary one instead of an Amazing Pizza Machine.
 
2013-03-18 03:31:49 PM
Exact same thing happened to my brother when he was 10.  Lost part of his left index finger.  I also got my arm stick in a giant mixer, but dad made up for it by letting us crawl into the oven to retrieve the fallen pans.
 
2013-03-18 03:36:57 PM

AllYourFarkAreBelongToMe: Five-year-olds will do stupid shiat 24/7/365 when left unsupervised.  Ya wanna vent your righteous indignation?   Find out who was responsible for the kid at the time and take it out on them.


ANY age kid does stupid shiat. I had to dump babysitter after babysitter because "Well, I left him alone for just a couple of minutes..." always began their explanation. My response always began, "You left him ALONE?"
 
2013-03-18 03:37:18 PM
Poor kid. That was probably the last thing he kneaded.
 
2013-03-18 03:37:36 PM
P.S.: +1 for the headline, subby.
 
2013-03-18 03:39:41 PM

big pig peaches: Poor kid. That was probably the last thing he kneaded.


HAhahaha, good one.
 
2013-03-18 03:42:13 PM
theinfosphere.org
 
2013-03-18 03:46:47 PM

abfalter: neongoats: I read the article hoping to learn more of this magic pizza machine. But alas, they merely meant bread kneading machine. For the dough.

How did this become world broadcast news.. how did this even get reported as local news. I've lived in no stoplight towns that wouldn't even consider this news. Hell, I might not even tell most of my friends if this happened around me.

You would witness a child getting his fingers mangled to the point where he needs to go to a hospital and would not even think this worth mentioning?

I hope that I never, ever get that coldhearted.


Has someone already welcomed you to fark?
 
2013-03-18 03:47:02 PM
get the door or ill break ya nuckles!
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-18 03:48:14 PM

prjindigo: I thought England had a national ban on children for their safety?


No, we just keep them chained up in cages until they are released into the pub.
 
2013-03-18 03:52:08 PM
Still better than Hawaiian.
 
2013-03-18 03:52:50 PM

MattyBlast: Good thing his fingers didn't end up as flat as dominoes.


Don`t wait for anyone to laugh. We all get the joke, it`s just not funny.

j/k
 
2013-03-18 03:53:00 PM

Haoie: Still better than Hawaiian.


I can deal with hawaiian once in a while, it's the taco pizzas that really gross me out.
 
2013-03-18 03:59:52 PM
I did not get the extra Darwinroni I ordered with this story.
 
2013-03-18 04:05:54 PM

neongoats: Haoie: Still better than Hawaiian.

I can deal with hawaiian once in a while, it's the taco pizzas that really gross me out.

 
2013-03-18 04:07:22 PM

neongoats: Haoie: Still better than Hawaiian.

I can deal with hawaiian once in a while, it's the taco pizzas that really gross me out.


Pizza? Now that's what I call a taco!


allwomenstalk.com
 
2013-03-18 04:07:22 PM
what's a taco pizza?
 
2013-03-18 04:20:15 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: neongoats: But alas, they merely meant bread kneading machine.

Pretty sure it was a dough roller:


[www.bakeryequipment.com image 250x263]

You drop a flattened ball of dough in the opening at the top. The dough is pressed between two rollers, flattening and elogating it. Then you turn the dough 90°, and slide it between the other two rollers. This flattens the dough further, and results in a nice flat, round piece of dough, perfect for a pizza.

What the hell? It takes twenty seconds tops to roll the dough into a pizza. He'll it ain't even rolling, you just gently stretch it out.
 
2013-03-18 04:24:01 PM

halB: Sin_City_Superhero: neongoats: But alas, they merely meant bread kneading machine.

Pretty sure it was a dough roller:


[www.bakeryequipment.com image 250x263]

You drop a flattened ball of dough in the opening at the top. The dough is pressed between two rollers, flattening and elogating it. Then you turn the dough 90°, and slide it between the other two rollers. This flattens the dough further, and results in a nice flat, round piece of dough, perfect for a pizza.
What the hell? It takes twenty seconds tops to roll the dough into a pizza. He'll it ain't even rolling, you just gently stretch it out.


Yes, but when controlling cost is important, you want every single pizza to have as close the minimum amount of dough possible used.  You also want every crust to be nearly identical.
 
2013-03-18 04:24:25 PM
ww1.hdnux.com

Did someone say "finger?"
 
2013-03-18 04:25:12 PM

tblax: Pizza machine???


Pizza machine.
 
2013-03-18 04:27:09 PM
Those farkers will rip your arm off. This kid is lucky.
 
2013-03-18 04:27:39 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: neongoats: But alas, they merely meant bread kneading machine.

Pretty sure it was a dough roller:


[www.bakeryequipment.com image 250x263]


That thing is fancy.  After adjusting the onion on my belt, the one I used was from the 60's and was basically 2 rollers attached to a motor, mounted on a stand.  I hated turning it on and off because you would get a little jolt if the switch was moved a tiny fraction off center.  Also, if the dough ball was too wide, it would catch on the side of the rollers and get shredded, if it was too thick, it would jam between the rollers and you'd have to spend 10 minutes scraping the jam out with a putty knife.  Good times.
 
2013-03-18 04:32:51 PM

roc6783: Sin_City_Superhero: neongoats:


To be clear, the machine was from the 60's, I am not.  That shop was a major train wreck, but they made one hell of a pizza.  The place closed 4 or 5 years ago and I have not found the same mix of a thin crust that isn't like a cracker, flavorful sauce, and loads of toppings.

RIP Villa Roma
 
2013-03-18 04:52:53 PM
Good headline, subby. *golf clap*
 
2013-03-18 05:00:03 PM

tblax: Pizza machine???


Exactly?!
 
2013-03-18 05:03:35 PM

tblax: Pizza machine???


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-18 05:05:16 PM

SultanofSchwing: Why is a 5 year old anywhere near that shiat in the first place?



Good question.

Back in the day I made plenty of pizzas.  Our dough-rolling machine had a safety bar that was easily tripped if you were too stupid and got your hand caught.  Had to help one of the guys get free once, but he was ok.  Guessing the kid was somewhere where he shouldn't have been.
 
2013-03-18 05:07:35 PM
Seems like these dough machines should be banned, you know, for the children...and what not.
 
2013-03-18 06:51:26 PM
Never mind the window seat, subby, you can have the whole row to yourself.
 
2013-03-18 07:50:31 PM

Master Sphincter: what's a taco pizza?


A taco pizza is a pizza with taco toppings, such as taco sauce, seasoned ground beef, onions, tomatoes, shredded lettuce, cheese...  You eat it like pizza, because it is pizza.

/Delicious pizza.
 
2013-03-18 09:36:28 PM

drongozone: Has anybody ever eaten British pizaa? What's the verdict, because i can't imagine it being any good?


Most British pizza is sold by American chains: Pizza Hut, Papa Johns, Dominos.

So it's exactly as bad as American pizza.

/I don't think it's possible to get a Chicago-style tomato soup bowl here, however.
//Which is a bonus.
 
2013-03-18 11:31:14 PM
Once was a time when we'd just let that kid lose his hand. Sure, he'd be on the dole for the rest of his short, miserable life, but we'd be assured of one less imbecile shiatting in the gene pool.

Too stupid to keep your hand out of an industrial dough mixer? Too stupid to procreate.
 
2013-03-19 12:19:12 AM
I was surprised that one of my (fairly well-off) friends was working at a pizza place.
I asked how can you work at a pizza place.
He just replied: I knead the dough.


/so, so, sorry.
 
2013-03-19 05:34:38 AM

indylaw: Once was a time when we'd just let that kid lose his hand. Sure, he'd be on the dole for the rest of his short, miserable life, but we'd be assured of one less imbecile shiatting in the gene pool.

Too stupid to keep your hand out of an industrial dough mixer? Too stupid to procreate.


It wasn't a matter of intelligence in this case. It was a matter of the kid being 5-years old and not having lived long enough to acquire the knowledge that certain things like industrial dough mixers can seriously mess you up.

In short he wasn't being a dumbass, he was being a little kid. The main person to blame here is whomever allowed him to be in the kitchen in the first place.
 
2013-03-19 06:12:46 AM

Master Sphincter: what's a taco pizza?


A poor mans spicy calzone
 
2013-03-19 10:52:36 PM

blatz514: tblax: Pizza machine???

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 500x333]


Yeah - I saw one of those on How It's Made.
 
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