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(Mother Jones)   Come for the ongoing coverage of CPAC 2013, stay for the crazy that is Conservapalooza   (motherjones.com) divider line 99
    More: Amusing, CPACs, Mitt Romney, College Republicans, Jonathan Ward, David Corn, film screening, Big Gulp, Sam Adams  
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2925 clicks; posted to Politics » on 18 Mar 2013 at 10:14 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-18 11:55:24 AM  
fark you, John McCain, for making that vapid twat a household name...
 
2013-03-18 11:55:47 AM  

Car_Ramrod: "We can't just ignore, though, that we just lost a big election. Yeah. Came in second. Out of two ... Second position on a dog sled team is where the view never changes and the view ain't pretty."

I honestly have no idea what she's trying to say here.


The speech-writer realized anyone could say coming second out of two is bad, so they decided to Alaska it up with a sled dog joke that sort of flowed from the previous line.
 
2013-03-18 12:03:12 PM  

Car_Ramrod: "We can't just ignore, though, that we just lost a big election. Yeah. Came in second. Out of two ... Second position on a dog sled team is where the view never changes and the view ain't pretty."

I honestly have no idea what she's trying to say here.


She means that she considers losing the election akin to having to stare at another dog's asshole for hours on end. I would not characterize it so, personally, but if it makes them that much more butthurt and irrational about their situation, I am all for it. Just let me make sure to stock up on the popcorn first so I can enjoy the lulz properly.
 
2013-03-18 12:04:19 PM  

Epoch_Zero: "More background checks? Dandy idea, Mr. President. Shoulda started with yours."
[i1.kym-cdn.com image 320x600]


Well, THAT made me giggle like an idiot
 
2013-03-18 12:06:27 PM  

JerseyTim: Bloomberg is a heckuva strawman for the CPAC crowd. I don't know a single liberal who embraces Bloomberg. I've never heard one say, "Hey, you know who I wish could be president in 2016? That guy!" Yet, these CPAC people act like they're making some major dig at liberals by attacking him.


Facing real "liberals" is hard. Because liberal now means, "Person who isn't batshiat crazy."
 
2013-03-18 12:14:24 PM  

Cheron: No Such Agency: Emposter:
"They talk about rebuilding the party. How about rebuilding the middle class?"

So, do you think she actually believes this?  In other words, is she stupid or evil?

I don't think Sarah Palin holds any beliefs higher than her own self-interest.  She may fool herself into believing she is not a charlatan, but basically she makes a living off of telling right-wingers whatever they want to hear using non-challenging language with no thought behind it.

And I expect her own mental image of the "middle class" (if she even thinks about it enough to form a mental image) does not represent the actual middle class, but is closer to "couple making $300k a year, living in a half-million dollar home and sending their kids to private school".  In other words, people doing far better than America's actual, vanishing middle class.

I don't disagree but I still feel she would be the best Republican candidate for president in 2016.  I would love to see the Palin Clinton debates


Waaaaant! It'd be my first time actually watching them. Pleaseohpleaseohplease...
 
2013-03-18 12:16:51 PM  

Glenford: Stone Meadow: cause of the black president.

Wait...wut?! Sarah talked about her rack? This I gotta

He's got the rifle, I've got the rack


And a thousand pant-tents suddenly developed at CPAC...

Ohh...slutty! My nose hurts when I snort coffee through it.
 
2013-03-18 12:31:40 PM  

VarmintCong: Car_Ramrod: "We can't just ignore, though, that we just lost a big election. Yeah. Came in second. Out of two ... Second position on a dog sled team is where the view never changes and the view ain't pretty."

I honestly have no idea what she's trying to say here.

The speech-writer realized anyone could say coming second out of two is bad, so they decided to Alaska it up with a sled dog joke that sort of flowed from the previous line.


KiltedBastich: Car_Ramrod: "We can't just ignore, though, that we just lost a big election. Yeah. Came in second. Out of two ... Second position on a dog sled team is where the view never changes and the view ain't pretty."

I honestly have no idea what she's trying to say here.

She means that she considers losing the election akin to having to stare at another dog's asshole for hours on end. I would not characterize it so, personally, but if it makes them that much more butthurt and irrational about their situation, I am all for it. Just let me make sure to stock up on the popcorn first so I can enjoy the lulz properly.


But, and correct me if I'm wrong, the sled dogs aren't competing against each other, they're helping each other to accomplish a common goal. I assume they're placed in that order for strategic reasons. Are there dog elections? I would think that would be a better analogy for a bitter VP.

Maybe I should stop taking stupid analogies so literally.
 
2013-03-18 12:34:30 PM  

keylock71: fark you, John McCain, for making that vapid twat a household name...


Just came in to say my usual Palin-thread , "Damn you, McCain!"...  Glad to see it already covered.

/Republicans still consider her relevant?  Almost laughable.
 
2013-03-18 12:42:19 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Epoch_Zero: "More background checks? Dandy idea, Mr. President. Shoulda started with yours."
[i1.kym-cdn.com image 320x600]

Well, THAT made me giggle like an idiot


Glad I'm not the only one.
 
2013-03-18 12:52:50 PM  
I don't think she was talking about her rack, per se, but rather it was a "pun" on traditional marriage being between man and woman (rifle and rack, or the place that a rifle goes in *wink wink nudge nudge say no more say no more*).

But, the sad part is that Michelle Bachmann makes Palin look intelligent.
 
2013-03-18 12:59:12 PM  

JerseyTim: Bloomberg is a heckuva strawman for the CPAC crowd. I don't know a single liberal who embraces Bloomberg. I've never heard one say, "Hey, you know who I wish could be president in 2016? That guy!" Yet, these CPAC people act like they're making some major dig at liberals by attacking him.



CPAC crowd Passionate Advesaries of what they believe Liberals to be.
 
2013-03-18 01:03:21 PM  
Cheron:
I still feel she would be the best Republican candidate for president in 2016. I would love to see the Palin Clinton debates

www.funnytreat.com
 
2013-03-18 01:05:37 PM  

Mentat: riverwalk barfly: Am I the only one? but does getting applause for sipping a big gulp or talking about your rack seem strange?   This is the reason we are doomed.   Not because of the black president.

From her?  No.  She's the epitome of bumper sticker politics.



This. She can only sound coherent if she strings less than 8 words together. Apparently, that is all that's required for the GOP base to climax, so that's all the effort anyone will expend.
 
2013-03-18 01:10:32 PM  

efgeise: I don't think she was talking about her rack, per se, but rather it was a "pun" on traditional marriage being between man and woman (rifle and rack, or the place that a rifle goes in *wink wink nudge nudge say no more say no more*).


So, instead of standing in front of a crowd and announcing "I HAVE BOOBS," she was standing in front of a crowd and announcing "I HAVE A VAGINA"?
 
2013-03-18 01:15:46 PM  

HighOnCraic: Facepalm.  She read of teleprompter joke off of her teleprompter.



i13.photobucket.com

i13.photobucket.com

admittedly an old CPAC joke, but apparently still en vogue.
 
2013-03-18 01:21:36 PM  

Car_Ramrod: But, and correct me if I'm wrong, the sled dogs aren't competing against each other, they're helping each other to accomplish a common goal. I assume they're placed in that order for strategic reasons. Are there dog elections? I would think that would be a better analogy for a bitter VP.

Maybe I should stop taking stupid analogies so literally.



Oh indeed, it's a weird, farked-up analogy without anything but the most superficial resemblance to what happens in an election. But it sounds all Alaskan and folksy and stuff, so Palin's followers lap it up and bark for more. As long as I get to point and laugh while they derp on, I am perfectly happy to watch them continue to double down on the stupid.
 
2013-03-18 01:25:09 PM  

KiltedBastich: Car_Ramrod: But, and correct me if I'm wrong, the sled dogs aren't competing against each other, they're helping each other to accomplish a common goal. I assume they're placed in that order for strategic reasons. Are there dog elections? I would think that would be a better analogy for a bitter VP.

Maybe I should stop taking stupid analogies so literally.


Oh indeed, it's a weird, farked-up analogy without anything but the most superficial resemblance to what happens in an election. But it sounds all Alaskan and folksy and stuff, so Palin's followers lap it up and bark for more. As long as I get to point and laugh while they derp on, I am perfectly happy to watch them continue to double down on the stupid.


Also, you have to sort of willfully ignore the fact that dogs generally, you know, ENJOY sniffing other dog butts.
 
2013-03-18 01:32:03 PM  

Dr Dreidel: KiltedBastich: Car_Ramrod: But, and correct me if I'm wrong, the sled dogs aren't competing against each other, they're helping each other to accomplish a common goal. I assume they're placed in that order for strategic reasons. Are there dog elections? I would think that would be a better analogy for a bitter VP.

Maybe I should stop taking stupid analogies so literally.


Oh indeed, it's a weird, farked-up analogy without anything but the most superficial resemblance to what happens in an election. But it sounds all Alaskan and folksy and stuff, so Palin's followers lap it up and bark for more. As long as I get to point and laugh while they derp on, I am perfectly happy to watch them continue to double down on the stupid.

Also, you have to sort of willfully ignore the fact that dogs generally, you know, ENJOY sniffing other dog butts.


I'm sure there were more than a few CPAC attendees who would have gladly sniffed Sarah Palin's butt.
Or her panties.
 
2013-03-18 01:47:14 PM  

Stone Meadow: If only there were a Progressive Political Action Conference where we progressives could get our message out.


You haven't heard of Bonneroo?
 
2013-03-18 01:51:06 PM  
BTW if you're on Twitter, you should be following @LOLGOP and @TeaPartyCat. They''ve been providing comedy gold from CPAC all weekend.
 
2013-03-18 01:55:39 PM  
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-18 01:56:00 PM  
This is really good news. As long as the GOP is so out of touch and loony at least they now suck at hiding it.

I wonder what the new conservative party in the country will be called.

and Sarah:  4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-18 02:00:33 PM  

Fluorescent Testicle: Jackpot777: "Do you actually recognize that most TV shows are actually more conservative? Do you guys watch Modern Family? OK. Have you not noticed that it's actually a very conservative TV show? Um, for instance: they do have, like, the gay couple. But the gay couple are married. And they have a kid. Which is a very conservative thing. They are pro-family, the whole thing is about family. The family structure, which is a very conservative value."

As a gay person who's been fighting tooth and nail against the Republicans for the right to get married, adopt a kid and raise a family:


Think of it this way: they realize it's inevitable and they're trying to justify it within the context of their existing values.

But another aspect of it (and what shows like Modern Family do a lot to combat) is that a lot of social conservatives had honestly never thought of gays as, like, normal people with jobs and health insurance and lawnmowers. "Gays" existed in their mind only as Tom-of-Finland caricatures; muscly, mustached leather daddies furiously humping at anything with a Y chromosome, popping amyl nitrate and dancing to bad house music at all hours. Thus, when they think of gay marriage and adoption, they think of those caricatures getting married and raising a kid.

So, when you read them proposing gay marriage and adoption as "conservative values," understand they're just now coming around to seeing gays as human. It's still terrible of them, but it is progress nonetheless.
 
2013-03-18 02:03:15 PM  

saintstryfe: [i.imgur.com image 513x96]
[i.imgur.com image 512x85]


TV's Frank?!
 
2013-03-18 02:07:10 PM  
God, I'd hate to be there for the crowd-surfing.
Hoisting those fat bastards in their hoverrounds up is gonna be a pain in the ass.
 
2013-03-18 02:18:30 PM  

JerseyTim: Bloomberg is a heckuva strawman for the CPAC crowd. I don't know a single liberal who embraces Bloomberg. I've never heard one say, "Hey, you know who I wish could be president in 2016? That guy!" Yet, these CPAC people act like they're making some major dig at liberals by attacking him.


After watching that, I couldn't help but think to myself most of the country's problems would be solved if Bloomberg announced he was going to push federal legislation banning cyanide.
 
2013-03-18 02:24:03 PM  

exparrot: God, I'd hate to be there for the crowd-surfing.
Hoisting those fat bastards in their hoverrounds up is gonna be a pain in the ass.


I imagine it would feel (and look) a lot like this:
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-18 02:37:52 PM  

Epoch_Zero: "More background checks? Dandy idea, Mr. President. Shoulda started with yours."
[i1.kym-cdn.com image 320x600]


and now I owe the office a keyboard.  that is amazing.
 
2013-03-18 02:47:03 PM  

verbaltoxin: Stone Meadow: If only there were a Progressive Political Action Conference where we progressives could get our message out.

You haven't heard of Bonneroo?


*Snert*  Well played, sir!
 
2013-03-18 02:56:08 PM  

Stone Meadow: And a thousand pant-tents suddenly developed at CPAC...


They were thinking about her hubby's rifle...
imageshack.us

// NNTAWWT
 
2013-03-18 03:13:39 PM  

SpectroBoy: This is really good news. As long as the GOP is so out of touch and loony at least they now suck at hiding it.

I wonder what the new conservative party in the country will be called.

and Sarah: 


The Democrats?
 
2013-03-18 03:38:44 PM  

JerseyTim: Bloomberg is a heckuva strawman for the CPAC crowd. I don't know a single liberal who embraces Bloomberg. I've never heard one say, "Hey, you know who I wish could be president in 2016? That guy!" Yet, these CPAC people act like they're making some major dig at liberals by attacking him.


So...Republicans are so far out of touch they don't even know who to attack to piss off the "liberals"?  They actually view a ban...that was already struck down...and wildly unpopular regardless... as a major issue to address?

It's just sad at this point.
 
2013-03-18 03:39:42 PM  

Mentat: riverwalk barfly: Am I the only one? but does getting applause for sipping a big gulp or talking about your rack seem strange?   This is the reason we are doomed.   Not because of the black president.

From her?  No.  She's the epitome of bumper sticker politics.


She's also the William J. Le Petomane of bumpkin politics.
 
2013-03-18 04:09:33 PM  

Primum: Mentat: riverwalk barfly: Am I the only one? but does getting applause for sipping a big gulp or talking about your rack seem strange?   This is the reason we are doomed.   Not because of the black president.

From her?  No.  She's the epitome of bumper sticker politics.

She's also the William J. Le Petomane of bumpkin politics.


Harrumph!
 
2013-03-18 04:16:13 PM  

Primum: Mentat: riverwalk barfly: Am I the only one? but does getting applause for sipping a big gulp or talking about your rack seem strange?   This is the reason we are doomed.   Not because of the black president.

From her?  No.  She's the epitome of bumper sticker politics.

She's also the William J. Le Petomane of bumpkin politics.


She's the ptomaine of politics.
 
2013-03-18 04:33:55 PM  

Car_Ramrod: But, and correct me if I'm wrong, the sled dogs aren't competing against each other, they're helping each other to accomplish a common goal. I assume they're placed in that order for strategic reasons. Are there dog elections? I would think that would be a better analogy for a bitter VP.

Maybe I should stop taking stupid analogies so literally.


Who knows what she meant.  All human contestants in the iditerod have to spend a lot of time looking at dog's asses, even the winner.   As usual, her comments made no sense.
 
2013-03-18 04:42:56 PM  

swaniefrmreddeer: That GIF of Sara sipping her giant cola is in desperate need of photoshopping.


My headline was, "Palin swallows."

www.mrconservative.com
 
2013-03-18 04:43:36 PM  

Rocket To Russia: saintstryfe: [i.imgur.com image 513x96]
[i.imgur.com image 512x85]

TV's Frank?!


You better believe it!
 
2013-03-18 06:51:58 PM  

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: swaniefrmreddeer: That GIF of Sara sipping her giant cola is in desperate need of photoshopping.

My headline was, "Palin swallows."

[www.mrconservative.com image 475x356]


It was only fitting. Glenn Rice has been calling her the Big Gulp since 1989.
 
2013-03-18 07:24:06 PM  
cdn.theatlanticwire.com

Trailer-Park Statue of Liberty?
 
2013-03-18 11:35:01 PM  

vernonFL: Yes, that's a Big Gulp. Palin was making a jab at New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg's proposed ban on big sugary sodas, which was struck down in court this week. "Bloomberg's not around," Palin said. "Don't worry." And the crowd went wild.

Because Bloomberg is the mayor of New York City, and your speech was in the state of Maryland.


And don't forget that convenience stores were specifically excluded from the bill, so it would not have impacted availability of Big Gulps, which makes that picture of her tired, derpy mug slurping on one all the more AWESOME.
 
2013-03-19 02:20:11 AM  

Don't Troll Me Bro!: vernonFL: Yes, that's a Big Gulp. Palin was making a jab at New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg's proposed ban on big sugary sodas, which was struck down in court this week. "Bloomberg's not around," Palin said. "Don't worry." And the crowd went wild.

Because Bloomberg is the mayor of New York City, and your speech was in the state of Maryland.

And don't forget that convenience stores were specifically excluded from the bill, so it would not have impacted availability of Big Gulps, which makes that picture of her tired, derpy mug slurping on one all the more AWESOME.


Republican Outrage: Now 100% more fabrication!
 
2013-03-19 03:25:35 AM  

JerseyTim: Bloomberg is a heckuva strawman for the CPAC crowd. I don't know a single liberal who embraces Bloomberg. I've never heard one say, "Hey, you know who I wish could be president in 2016? That guy!" Yet, these CPAC people act like they're making some major dig at liberals by attacking him.


They are political cheerleaders who don't even understand that their own "deeply held" beliefs change with whatever suave politician they fell for last. But because that's what most conservatives do, regardless of whether they know or not, they simply assume that liberalism works the same way. For example, despite massive evidence that Americans were deeply dissatisfied with the USA's (lack of a) health care system, for decades, most Conservatives think Obama's push for health care reform was what created strong feelings on the matter for Obama's supporters.

To simply the above..

Conservatives fall for charismatic leaders, and change their views to match that charismatic leader's. They assume the same goes for other political stripes, and they don't even realize how their views change.

Liberals fall for leaders who actually agree with the views they hold *now*. (e.g. Obama never had to "convince" a liberal that the health care system was broken)
 
2013-03-19 09:37:09 AM  

invictus2: [cdn.theatlanticwire.com image 614x383]

Trailer-Park Statue of Liberty?


So, she supports an activist judge for throwing out that law?

And they were in farking Maryland. Does she know that a NYC law wouldn't apply anywhere but NYC?
 
2013-03-19 10:23:12 AM  
i48.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-19 10:23:53 AM  

invictus2: [cdn.theatlanticwire.com image 614x383]

Trailer-Park Statue of Liberty?


And not the best job, but someone else can always do it better:

i48.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-19 01:34:21 PM  

rufus-t-firefly: invictus2: [cdn.theatlanticwire.com image 614x383]

Trailer-Park Statue of Liberty?

And not the best job, but someone else can always do it better:

[i48.photobucket.com image 850x477]


I'd like to see one where she's buried up to her waist on the beach, with Charlton Heston in the foreground pounding on the sand.

"Damn you all to hell!"
 
2013-03-19 07:33:39 PM  

rufus-t-firefly: invictus2: [cdn.theatlanticwire.com image 614x383]

Trailer-Park Statue of Liberty?

And not the best job, but someone else can always do it better:

[i48.photobucket.com image 850x477]



haha  that's awesome dude
 
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