Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Washington Times)   Hollywood is totally confused over the success of "The Bible" miniseries, wondering how the rest of country could be so out of touch with Hollywood's vain, shallow lack of values   (washingtontimes.com) divider line 181
    More: Fail, Hollywood, Jim Caviezel, Roma Downey, series premiere, woodwork, Mark Burnett, popular cultures, McCoys  
•       •       •

3162 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 17 Mar 2013 at 7:10 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



181 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-03-17 11:37:02 PM  
namatad:

I have no problem with xians making "the bible" - the miniseries. but pretending that it would be history and factually biased?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


Ignorance.

Tonight's episode did do something interesting.  They departed from the Biblical narrative to give some context to what happened when Joseph, Mary, and Jesus were in Egypt.  They depicted the Maccabean uprising and how after the rebellion was crushed, countless people were crucified along the roadways.  As they travelled back to Jerusalem, they likely did encounter the blackened corpses of crucified zealots.
 
2013-03-17 11:38:13 PM  

gameshowhost: Sounds exactly like what happens to anyone trying to run for public office if they dare poke fun at Christianity.  Thank GOD that's only entertainment, just like Hollywood.


This was even worse, because Haggis was a Scientologist at the time, and was in good standing with the Church. Spielberg commented that all the Scientologists he had met as part of Cruise's entourage while filming War of the Worlds "seem like the nicest people", and Haggis simply joked that "we keep all the evil ones in the closet", which caused Cruise and Miscavige to lose their shiat. That's the biggest thing that stood out for me reading up on it, is that Scientology is just so incredibly humorless, and the guy in control is utterly off his nut and prone to random physical violence, intimidation, and torture.
 
2013-03-17 11:42:31 PM  
Wha????

Bible based Hollywood stuff sells pretty well in America when it's not beat you over the head with morality based stuff.
 
2013-03-17 11:43:21 PM  

redmid17: Atheists don't believe that one can prove the existence of God/gods/deity

/boom, lawyered


Good try and props for the HIMYM reference.

That said ... this statement is not correct. It may be true for many atheists but definitely not all. I, for one, believe a deity could easily show itself (and would therefor be proven to me).

In fact, as far as I'm concerned, this whole "god chooses to stay hidden" crap is just part of the snake-oil sales pitch.
 
2013-03-17 11:45:48 PM  

Lionel Mandrake: Which person specifically mentioned in TFA do you think had the sandiest vagina?


who talks about the article? I was talking about the comments.
 
2013-03-17 11:47:22 PM  

Farking Canuck: redmid17: Atheists don't believe that one can prove the existence of God/gods/deity

/boom, lawyered

Good try and props for the HIMYM reference.

That said ... this statement is not correct. It may be true for many atheists but definitely not all. I, for one, believe a deity could easily show itself (and would therefor be proven to me).

In fact, as far as I'm concerned, this whole "god chooses to stay hidden" crap is just part of the snake-oil sales pitch.


*You* couldn't prove it. The deity could prove it. It's all semantics. I was just teasing you.
 
2013-03-17 11:52:14 PM  

Mentat: You mean a series based on the Bible appeals to a predominantly Christian population???


Well, predominantly claiming to be Christian, anyway.
 
2013-03-17 11:52:42 PM  

STRYPERSWINE: As a Christian, I'm mad at how horribly done this series is.  Cheesy and lame and inaccurate.  For centuries, Cristianity was responsible for the best art in the world.  Now we're responsible for some of the worst.

I was under the impression that this was going to be HBO/Showtime quality and it would focus on some actual history.


The people behind it are Mark Burnett - king of reality show garbage - and his wife Roma Downey, the chick that starred in Touched By An Angel (a show so sugary and corny, it shames HFCS). Quality wasn't touching this with a 10 foot pole.
 
2013-03-18 12:08:36 AM  

FuryOfFirestorm: The people behind it are Mark Burnett - king of reality show garbage - and his wife Roma Downey, the chick that starred in Touched By An Angel (a show so sugary and corny, it shames HFCS). Quality wasn't touching this with a 10 foot pole.


Off topic, but there was one moment back in the 90's where Angel, Dark Angel and Touched by an Angel all aired at the same time.  THE SAME TIME.  I know.
 
2013-03-18 12:24:53 AM  
Caught it. With all the hype it was getting, I was hoping some Passion of the Christ type detail and acting. Instead I got something...cheesy with bad acting and way too many actors of Northern European descent playing people from the fertile crescent. (And looking like cavemen on vacation in the Med.) And as far as the Exodus story goes, nothing has yet to beat Prince of Egypt for the retelling of Moses relationship with the Ramses. I love how it made the story about two brothers on opposite sides rather than making Ramses the automatic villain like every other Exodus retelling. It even made sense if you think about the story. Moses was able to bring about seven plagues before Pharaoh said, "Enough. Go." I've always wondered why Moses was not arrested or executed after the first plague. He was a terrorist, if you thought about it from the Egyptian perspective. Made sense if only Ramses still gave a damn about his long, lost brother.
 
2013-03-18 12:43:54 AM  

cygnusx13: maxalt: Almost every movie with low moral standards fails at the box office but is praised by Hollywood elite, while so called wholesome movies succeed. But the movers and shakers in Hollywood consider any movie denouncing God or religion to be avant-garde  and praise the writers producers and such. Used to be when the Jews owed Hollywood they liked sand and sandals movies because they were sure money in the bank. I know times change but people don't, most of the middle of the country and the south are god fearing folk and prefer wholesome entertainment.

Let-me-laugh-harder.jpg


I had a good chuckle. I think you guys are branding a not so good performance artist as a troll. The sand and sandals line gave it away for me. Could be wrong though.

/really miss Stop Arresting Me
//and Meow Said the Dog
 
2013-03-18 12:45:41 AM  
If you want something entertaining, read all the Amazon reviews for the David Duchovny/Mimi Rogers film  The Rapture.  It's funny.  Apparently, many Christians just see a title that refers to something they believe is Biblical, and will purchase it sight unseen, without reading reviews or checking ratings.

What makes it funny is that  The Rapture  is a very R-rated movie full of sex and other scandalous things, and really isn't about the fundamentalist rapture myth as much as it is about a Christian cult and Mimi Rogers' tits.

And hooo boy, are the Christians who were "tricked by the title" into seeing this movie mad that they saw boobs and naked bodies and not one scene of atheists dying or being left to suffer after God collects all the people with enough brownie points.

So what I'm getting at, in a roundabout sort of way, is that fundamentalist Christians-- As a movie-watching group-- Are rather naive, and will go see anything that they think will reinforce their religious ideals, because they think to do so will "stick it to the heathens" or somesuch thing.

To test this theory, I plan to make a movie or book titled "Jesus Loved Everybody" and have it be about Jesus being a bisexual gigolo who whored around Jerusalem until he died of the clap during a gangbang with the apostles, Herod, and Santa Claus.
 
2013-03-18 12:51:59 AM  

ZeroCorpse: If you want something entertaining, read all the Amazon reviews for the David Duchovny/Mimi Rogers film  The Rapture.  It's funny.  Apparently, many Christians just see a title that refers to something they believe is Biblical, and will purchase it sight unseen, without reading reviews or checking ratings.

What makes it funny is that  The Rapture  is a very R-rated movie full of sex and other scandalous things, and really isn't about the fundamentalist rapture myth as much as it is about a Christian cult and Mimi Rogers' tits.

And hooo boy, are the Christians who were "tricked by the title" into seeing this movie mad that they saw boobs and naked bodies and not one scene of atheists dying or being left to suffer after God collects all the people with enough brownie points.

So what I'm getting at, in a roundabout sort of way, is that fundamentalist Christians-- As a movie-watching group-- Are rather naive, and will go see anything that they think will reinforce their religious ideals, because they think to do so will "stick it to the heathens" or somesuch thing.

To test this theory, I plan to make a movie or book titled "Jesus Loved Everybody" and have it be about Jesus being a bisexual gigolo who whored around Jerusalem until he died of the clap during a gangbang with the apostles, Herod, and Santa Claus.


Can I make a suggestion? Love your title but I think you could get to maximum trolling with a slightly different take. Make Jesus the undocumented worker gardener that bangs the whole neighborhood. The teen daughter of one family, the uptight ultra conservative tea bagging dad down the street, the army wife left home alone to simmer. Heads would asplode.
 
2013-03-18 02:09:18 AM  

ZeroCorpse: If you want something entertaining, read all the Amazon reviews for the David Duchovny/Mimi Rogers film  The Rapture.  It's funny.  Apparently, many Christians just see a title that refers to something they believe is Biblical, and will purchase it sight unseen, without reading reviews or checking ratings.

What makes it funny is that  The Rapture  is a very R-rated movie full of sex and other scandalous things, and really isn't about the fundamentalist rapture myth as much as it is about a Christian cult and Mimi Rogers' tits.

And hooo boy, are the Christians who were "tricked by the title" into seeing this movie mad that they saw boobs and naked bodies and not one scene of atheists dying or being left to suffer after God collects all the people with enough brownie points.

So what I'm getting at, in a roundabout sort of way, is that fundamentalist Christians-- As a movie-watching group-- Are rather naive, and will go see anything that they think will reinforce their religious ideals, because they think to do so will "stick it to the heathens" or somesuch thing.

To test this theory, I plan to make a movie or book titled "Jesus Loved Everybody" and have it be about Jesus being a bisexual gigolo who whored around Jerusalem until he died of the clap during a gangbang with the apostles, Herod, and Santa Claus.


If you actually pull that off, Andy Kaufman would come out of hiding and punch you in the mouth out of sheer jealousy.
 
2013-03-18 03:06:43 AM  

Bob_Laublaw: The actor portraying J-to-the-C looks remarkably...... pale compared to most Middle Eastern folks Link


I've never seen anyone that looks like that.
 
2013-03-18 08:00:26 AM  
Have they covered  Ezekiel 23:19-20 yet?
 
2013-03-18 08:26:13 AM  

sleeps in trees: My son's been watching it.  We aren't religious and every time is try and explain what Christians believe he thought I was messing with him.  I understand why, when you've not been raised with it.  You should have seen his face when Moses parted the Red Sea.   I kind of wish every religion made a movie, so as to better understand them.


"So Dad... was the whole Red Sea thing something that happened? Or was that some CGI Michael Bay bullshiat?"
 
2013-03-18 09:17:12 AM  

ZeroCorpse: If you want something entertaining, read all the Amazon reviews for the David Duchovny/Mimi Rogers film  The Rapture.  It's funny.  Apparently, many Christians just see a title that refers to something they believe is Biblical, and will purchase it sight unseen, without reading reviews or checking ratings.

What makes it funny is that  The Rapture  is a very R-rated movie full of sex and other scandalous things, and really isn't about the fundamentalist rapture myth as much as it is about a Christian cult and Mimi Rogers' tits.

And hooo boy, are the Christians who were "tricked by the title" into seeing this movie mad that they saw boobs and naked bodies and not one scene of atheists dying or being left to suffer after God collects all the people with enough brownie points.

So what I'm getting at, in a roundabout sort of way, is that fundamentalist Christians-- As a movie-watching group-- Are rather naive, and will go see anything that they think will reinforce their religious ideals, because they think to do so will "stick it to the heathens" or somesuch thing.

To test this theory, I plan to make a movie or book titled "Jesus Loved Everybody" and have it be about Jesus being a bisexual gigolo who whored around Jerusalem until he died of the clap during a gangbang with the apostles, Herod, and Santa Claus.


I like your style.
 
2013-03-18 09:46:13 AM  
I want to scream that the stuff being churned out in Hollywood is mass produced soulless crap.  Not even religious soulless.... Without heart.

But it might just be that I'm getting old and they need to turn down that rap music.
 
2013-03-18 10:04:12 AM  
 It would be interesting to see a real literal film interpretation of the Bible, rather than the sanitized white-washed versions we always get.    It would make A Serbian Film look like Mary Poppins. (ie Judges 19:22-29)
 
2013-03-18 11:09:52 AM  
You know who else liked the bible?
content.internetvideoarchive.com
 
2013-03-18 11:30:49 AM  

seniorgato: I want to scream that the stuff being churned out in Hollywood is mass produced soulless crap.  Not even religious soulless.... Without heart.

But it might just be that I'm getting old and they need to turn down that rap music.


Just stop listening to Blondie.
 
2013-03-18 12:09:42 PM  
This is the miniseries that, other than a brief few words, thinks the bible started with Noah, Jesus was white, and the Devil was black, so how seriously can you take it.
 
2013-03-18 12:10:25 PM  
i'm an athiest and i would totally watch it.  i don't have television so i can't, but i may be willing to buy it when it eventually hits dvd.  i'm interested in history and the bible is part of history, and i'm curious to see how they handle the more ridiculous religious aspects.  if it's well acted, well written, and well produced, then i see no reason not to check it out.
 
2013-03-18 12:21:38 PM  

stoli n coke: maxalt: Almost every movie with low moral standards fails at the box office but is praised by Hollywood elite, while so called wholesome movies succeed. But the movers and shakers in Hollywood consider any movie denouncing God or religion to be avant-garde  and praise the writers producers and such. Used to be when the Jews owed Hollywood they liked sand and sandals movies because they were sure money in the bank. I know times change but people don't, most of the middle of the country and the south are god fearing folk and prefer wholesome entertainment.

Look at this post everyone. Look and point and laugh.

By the way, good job back-dating this alt account, max.


I have been around for a long time, but until recently I got up at 3:00 am to go to work and usually didn't get home until 9:00 pm, then put in volunteer work if I still had any energy left. I worked long hours to support myself and my family. You can laugh if that pleases you but the majority of the people in the USA believe in the Bible either the old or new testament or at least a higher power. If you are a non believer you are in the minority, and by your statements I can also see you are in the lower end of the IQ range and quite possibly a true believer in government control. So point and laugh but insults from someone of your caliber makes me feel warm and fuzzy knowing I touched a nerve somehow.
 
2013-03-18 12:52:25 PM  

Generation_D: maxalt: Almost every movie with low moral standards fails at the box office but is praised by Hollywood elite, while so called wholesome movies succeed. But the movers and shakers in Hollywood consider any movie denouncing God or religion to be avant-garde  and praise the writers producers and such. Used to be when the Jews owed Hollywood they liked sand and sandals movies because they were sure money in the bank. I know times change but people don't, most of the middle of the country and the south are god fearing folk and prefer wholesome entertainment.

I got you tagged as "right wing derp."

nailed it


I am not of any formal party, just a believer in God.
 
2013-03-18 12:55:56 PM  

maxalt: Generation_D: maxalt: Almost every movie with low moral standards fails at the box office but is praised by Hollywood elite, while so called wholesome movies succeed. But the movers and shakers in Hollywood consider any movie denouncing God or religion to be avant-garde  and praise the writers producers and such. Used to be when the Jews owed Hollywood they liked sand and sandals movies because they were sure money in the bank. I know times change but people don't, most of the middle of the country and the south are god fearing folk and prefer wholesome entertainment.

I got you tagged as "right wing derp."

nailed it

I am not of any formal party, just a believer in God.


Does she talk to you?
 
2013-03-18 01:03:51 PM  
I don't believe this miniseries exists.
 
2013-03-18 01:10:37 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: maxalt: Generation_D: maxalt: Almost every movie with low moral standards fails at the box office but is praised by Hollywood elite, while so called wholesome movies succeed. But the movers and shakers in Hollywood consider any movie denouncing God or religion to be avant-garde  and praise the writers producers and such. Used to be when the Jews owed Hollywood they liked sand and sandals movies because they were sure money in the bank. I know times change but people don't, most of the middle of the country and the south are god fearing folk and prefer wholesome entertainment.

I got you tagged as "right wing derp."

nailed it

I am not of any formal party, just a believer in God.

Does she talk to you?


Why do you think insults are intelligent conversation, not even funny or well thought out insults. If you really desire to insult someone it requires that you make a point showing the other person lack of thought or intelligence, (by the way intelligence means smarts). If you had any knowledge of the Bible you would know that God is male as he spoke to several people ie Noah with a deep booming voice and the angels referred to God as he, try again Mr. Smarts.
 
2013-03-18 01:22:32 PM  

maxalt: If you had any knowledge of the Bible you would know that God is male


So God has a penis? ...and what did He do with it in the absence of a Mrs. God?
 
2013-03-18 01:28:52 PM  

Mad_Radhu: gameshowhost: Sounds exactly like what happens to anyone trying to run for public office if they dare poke fun at Christianity.  Thank GOD that's only entertainment, just like Hollywood.

This was even worse, because Haggis was a Scientologist at the time, and was in good standing with the Church. Spielberg commented that all the Scientologists he had met as part of Cruise's entourage while filming War of the Worlds "seem like the nicest people", and Haggis simply joked that "we keep all the evil ones in the closet", which caused Cruise and Miscavige to lose their shiat. That's the biggest thing that stood out for me reading up on it, is that Scientology is just so incredibly humorless, and the guy in control is utterly off his nut and prone to random physical violence, intimidation, and torture.


Sounds like every other religio-cult to me.
 
2013-03-18 02:08:27 PM  

Ishkur: maxalt: If you had any knowledge of the Bible you would know that God is male

So God has a penis? ...and what did He do with it in the absence of a Mrs. God?


If you are Christian then you know he he is a male because he got Mary pregnant. As to any other times he has used it I really have never given that a thought. When I am in heaven I will understand more than I do now and although I have no fear of death I am enjoying my time here in the physical plain so I am in no hurry to leave. Everyones' time here is limited but you time in heaven is ever lasting.
 
2013-03-18 02:11:42 PM  

jake_lex: The only time I'd reach for the Washington Times is if I just dropped a massive, Taco Bell fueled dump and I looked over and saw that the toilet paper roll was empty.


Well I'm sitting on the toilet.  In a house that I don't know.  Looking all around me for where the toilet paper goes.  Feeling real uneasy, feeling real uncertain.  Looks like I'll have to wipe my ass again with a plastic shower curtain!  It's those little things.  Those itty bitty things, that piss me off!
 
2013-03-18 02:18:52 PM  

Generation_D: maxalt: Almost every movie with low moral standards fails at the box office but is praised by Hollywood elite, while so called wholesome movies succeed. But the movers and shakers in Hollywood consider any movie denouncing God or religion to be avant-garde  and praise the writers producers and such. Used to be when the Jews owed Hollywood they liked sand and sandals movies because they were sure money in the bank. I know times change but people don't, most of the middle of the country and the south are god fearing folk and prefer wholesome entertainment.

I got you tagged as "right wing derp."

nailed it


Relax Max.  I've had Generation_Derp tagged as, "Libtard/Anti Southern/Pathetic Atheist," for awhile now.

BTW, not all atheists get that tag from me.  Only the ragey, whiney, threadshiatting ones.

/nailed it.
 
2013-03-18 02:34:31 PM  

varmitydog: Old time movie producer Cecil B DeMille made his fortune with Bible epics. He used to say "Give me any two pages of the Bible and I'll give you a picture."
He is also quoted as saying "Every time I make a picture the critics' estimate of American public taste goes down ten percent." and "I make my pictures for people, not for critics."

He had the guy who wrote TFA pegged before he was even born.
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again;there is nothing new under the sun. Ecclesiastes, 1:9


All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again.  BSG-75
 
2013-03-18 02:36:14 PM  

IntertubeUser: douchebag/hater: trotsky: Eh. Vikings is better, and became pretty awesome when they went and slaughtered the entire monastery last week. Made me love those sea-going scamps even more.

So. You're sooooo tolerant of different ideas that you like to see religious people killed.
Christians AND Muslims AND Hindus?
Or just Christians?

You're a religious bigot.

Killing is a little much.  But I'd totally go for not letting delusional, superstitious religio-fascists vote.

And in the US, especially the christo-fascists...the Rape-lubicans.


So your utopia would be the Atheist episode of South Park?

/Science damn you!
 
2013-03-18 02:38:01 PM  

FTDA: varmitydog: Old time movie producer Cecil B DeMille made his fortune with Bible epics. He used to say "Give me any two pages of the Bible and I'll give you a picture."
He is also quoted as saying "Every time I make a picture the critics' estimate of American public taste goes down ten percent." and "I make my pictures for people, not for critics."

He had the guy who wrote TFA pegged before he was even born.
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again;there is nothing new under the sun. Ecclesiastes, 1:9

All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again.  BSG-75


Ka is a wheel, it's one purpose is to turn. -Roland of Gilead, DTIV
 
2013-03-18 02:38:35 PM  

Sensual Tyrannosaurus: maxalt: Almost every movie with low moral standards fails at the box office but is praised by Hollywood elite, while so called wholesome movies succeed. But the movers and shakers in Hollywood consider any movie denouncing God or religion to be avant-garde  and praise the writers producers and such. Used to be when the Jews owed Hollywood they liked sand and sandals movies because they were sure money in the bank. I know times change but people don't, most of the middle of the country and the south are god fearing folk and prefer wholesome entertainment.

'God fearing folk' like the ones in flyover America that bought up the majority of tickets to 'Magic Mike'? That's some wholesome entertainment alright. Fun for the whole family.


fark you that movie got me laid for a month - helps I have a wife and a big bag of roofies......
 
2013-03-18 02:46:31 PM  

Brainsick: FTDA: varmitydog: Old time movie producer Cecil B DeMille made his fortune with Bible epics. He used to say "Give me any two pages of the Bible and I'll give you a picture."
He is also quoted as saying "Every time I make a picture the critics' estimate of American public taste goes down ten percent." and "I make my pictures for people, not for critics."

He had the guy who wrote TFA pegged before he was even born.
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again;there is nothing new under the sun. Ecclesiastes, 1:9

All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again.  BSG-75

Ka is a wheel, it's one purpose is to turn. -Roland of Gilead, DTIV


"This is my rifle. This is my gun. This is for fighting, and this is for fun."  - U.S. Marines
 
2013-03-18 02:51:38 PM  

sleeps in trees: douchebag/hater: Farking Canuck: sleeps in trees: My son's been watching it.  We aren't religious and every time is try and explain what Christians believe he thought I was messing with him.  I understand why, when you've not been raised with it.  You should have seen his face when Moses parted the Red Sea.   I kind of wish every religion made a movie, so as to better understand them.

Yeah ... from an outside point of view, religious people believe in some whacky shiat.

Yeah... from a religious point of view. atheists believe in some whacy shiat too.

I'm not atheist, but I don't subscribe to a specific religion. I don't know how that is "whacy".


It isn't.  My first wife was a Pagan.  My new wife is Agnostic.  I'm a Christian.  I've never had an issue with their beliefs not being the same as mine or berated them for it.  Everyone has free will and the right to make their own choices so forcing someone to believe in a narrow dogmatic point of view regardless of the book it comes from is whacky to me.  The preacher at my church encourages out of the box thinking and loves to ruffle Traditionalist Types feathers.  You keep doing what feels right to you.  It's your life, spend your years being happy.
 
2013-03-18 02:54:13 PM  

Sensei Can You See: Brainsick: FTDA: varmitydog: Old time movie producer Cecil B DeMille made his fortune with Bible epics. He used to say "Give me any two pages of the Bible and I'll give you a picture."
He is also quoted as saying "Every time I make a picture the critics' estimate of American public taste goes down ten percent." and "I make my pictures for people, not for critics."

He had the guy who wrote TFA pegged before he was even born.
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again;there is nothing new under the sun. Ecclesiastes, 1:9

All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again.  BSG-75

Ka is a wheel, it's one purpose is to turn. -Roland of Gilead, DTIV

"This is my rifle. This is my gun. This is for fighting, and this is for fun."  - U.S. Marines


Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future.  - Some 1970's band whose name escapes me.
 
2013-03-18 02:56:56 PM  

Sgt Otter: [upload.wikimedia.org image 220x326]

The most popular movie of all time is an anti-corporate, anti-war, pro-environmental hippie love fest.


Fern Gully?
 
2013-03-18 02:57:06 PM  

FTDA: Sensei Can You See: Brainsick: FTDA: varmitydog: Old time movie producer Cecil B DeMille made his fortune with Bible epics. He used to say "Give me any two pages of the Bible and I'll give you a picture."
He is also quoted as saying "Every time I make a picture the critics' estimate of American public taste goes down ten percent." and "I make my pictures for people, not for critics."

He had the guy who wrote TFA pegged before he was even born.
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again;there is nothing new under the sun. Ecclesiastes, 1:9

All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again.  BSG-75

Ka is a wheel, it's one purpose is to turn. -Roland of Gilead, DTIV

"This is my rifle. This is my gun. This is for fighting, and this is for fun."  - U.S. Marines

Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future.  - Some 1970's band whose name escapes me.


Steve Miller.
 
2013-03-18 02:59:08 PM  

usernameguy: Did... Did they give Satan a French accent?


That would be hilarious!  "I'm bad, look at me, I give a cigarette to a baby!"
 
2013-03-18 03:02:49 PM  

FTDA: usernameguy: Did... Did they give Satan a French accent?

That would be hilarious!  "I'm bad, look at me, I give a cigarette to a baby!"


I'm trying to picture the Garden of Eden with Satan played by Pepe Le Pew:

Oh, Eve -- *smooch* mwuah mwuah mwuah -- do not worry about ze apple, mon ami - we shall make beautiful musicks togezzer right here!
 
2013-03-18 03:06:40 PM  

Sensei Can You See: FTDA: usernameguy: Did... Did they give Satan a French accent?

That would be hilarious!  "I'm bad, look at me, I give a cigarette to a baby!"

I'm trying to picture the Garden of Eden with Satan played by Pepe Le Pew:

Oh, Eve -- *smooch* mwuah mwuah mwuah -- do not worry about ze apple, mon ami - we shall make beautiful musicks togezzer right here!


And Eve hauls ass, kicking up clothes pins from who knows where.
 
2013-03-18 03:08:25 PM  

Sensei Can You See: FTDA: Sensei Can You See: Brainsick: FTDA: varmitydog: Old time movie producer Cecil B DeMille made his fortune with Bible epics. He used to say "Give me any two pages of the Bible and I'll give you a picture."
He is also quoted as saying "Every time I make a picture the critics' estimate of American public taste goes down ten percent." and "I make my pictures for people, not for critics."

He had the guy who wrote TFA pegged before he was even born.
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again;there is nothing new under the sun. Ecclesiastes, 1:9

All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again.  BSG-75

Ka is a wheel, it's one purpose is to turn. -Roland of Gilead, DTIV

"This is my rifle. This is my gun. This is for fighting, and this is for fun."  - U.S. Marines

Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future.  - Some 1970's band whose name escapes me.

Steve Miller.


Thanks!
 
2013-03-18 04:10:34 PM  

maxalt: If you are Christian then you know he he is a male because he got Mary pregnant. As to any other times he has used it I really have never given that a thought.


Okay, so if man was created in God's image, then from whose image was woman made? Who provided the template for the human uterus?

maxalt: When I am in heaven I will understand more than I do now and although I have no fear of death I am enjoying my time here in the physical plain so I am in no hurry to leave. Everyones' time here is limited but you time in heaven is ever lasting.


Are all your family and friends going to be in Heaven too? I guess they have to be because you might be unhappy if you find out that your mother didn't make it and since there is no unhappiness in Heaven, it can't be paradise if you miss some people and get depressed, so therefore everyone has to go on account of being related to everyone else.

And can you really be in a state of bliss all the time? Humans have a tendency to acclimatize to their mental and emotional states and there is a law of diminishing returns that accompanies subsequence experience. The first time you ride a rollercoaster is exciting and fun. The hundredth time, not so much. It becomes difficult to maintain the same level of exhilaration so the experience must get more extreme each time, like upping the dosage on a drug. Can Heaven really have the same impact the first day you arrive as it does the thousandth day? The millionth day? The trillionth day (and that's 2,739,726,027 or 2.7 billion years if you don't feel like doing the math, which is still insignificant compared to eternity)?

And why are the qualifications for admittance to Heaven or Hell so black and white? So it doesn't matter whether you sinned by having sex outside of marriage or by disemboweling a dozen people and hanging their bodies from meat hooks in your basement, they're both equitable sins that ban you from the promised afterlife. So you have to be absolutely perfect all your life because there is no nuance, degree or threshold to your sins. All sin has the same price even though some sins are worse than others. How do you really know whether you cut the mustard?

Heaven just confuses me. For instance, I guess we can assume that your entire mind, sans brain and body, goes to Heaven. But what if your mind has neurological deficiencies? Do they stay with you or are you cured of all mental afflictions posthumously? What if those afflictions define who you are, so in Heaven you're a completely different person? What if you're known all your life as that crazy quirky guy but when you go to Heaven that mania has been removed and your family and friends don't recognize you? What if they don't like the new disinfected you and they prefer the crazy quirky guy they enjoyed hanging around with in life? Can you petition God to put that neurosis back?

Maybe God doesn't cure everything in your mind when you go to Heaven. Maybe He just gets rid of the serious stuff. So He'll take care of your multiple personality disorder and schizophrenia but mild things like obsessive-compulsive disorder and attention deficit disorder are given a pass (or maybe their cures are on a by-request basis).

And what about phobias? Are those gone too? I'm sure there won't be any spiders or heights or darkness or enclosed spaces in Heaven, but just in case there are - like say Saint Peter has a small, dark closet on top of a skyscraper with a tarantula inside - you would not feel the slightest bit scared to be locked inside it. Hypothetically speaking.

What part of the mind even qualifies people for Heaven? Is it the part that believes in Jesus? What about people with split-brains? People can have the hemispheres of their brains severed to solve seizure disorders but the end result is literally a dual personality. What if one half becomes a devout believer and the other half becomes a militant atheist? Does half of that person go to Heaven? Which half gets the soul? Is the soul even divisible?

What about temporal lobe epilepsy patients or people suffering from psychosis, in which they experience profound theological connections and believe themselves to be agents of God? This is not technically their fault, it is due to their disorder. So does it mean they're going to Hell or will God let the incurable brain disease slide and let them in? Why doesn't He cure these people like He cures cancer and amputees?

What about people with autism or mental retardation who are simply incapable of understanding, experiencing or acknowledging God on a pertinent theological level? It's not their fault either. Are they going to spend eternity in purgatory because their brain can't comprehend divinity?

What about people with Asperger syndrome who function well enough in society but can't fathom other people and have trouble interacting socially? They may even inadvertently cause harm to others without knowing it, breaking God's commandments. Do they go to Hell because their brains are not allowing them to process the social cues that would allow them to relate to others more? Why is that their fault? Why punish them for something they aren't capable of comprehending? This is the fruit incident all over again.

And what about sociopaths, who are . . . well, of course they're not going to Heaven. Those people are assholes. We can all speculate until the day we die on what Heaven is really going to be like, but I think we can all safely agree that it doesn't contain any assholes.

Please don't ignore these questions. I really really really want to know.
 
2013-03-18 04:34:12 PM  

maxalt: StoPPeRmobile: maxalt: Generation_D: maxalt: Almost every movie with low moral standards fails at the box office but is praised by Hollywood elite, while so called wholesome movies succeed. But the movers and shakers in Hollywood consider any movie denouncing God or religion to be avant-garde  and praise the writers producers and such. Used to be when the Jews owed Hollywood they liked sand and sandals movies because they were sure money in the bank. I know times change but people don't, most of the middle of the country and the south are god fearing folk and prefer wholesome entertainment.

I got you tagged as "right wing derp."

nailed it

I am not of any formal party, just a believer in God.

Does she talk to you?

Why do you think insults are intelligent conversation, not even funny or well thought out insults. If you really desire to insult someone it requires that you make a point showing the other person lack of thought or intelligence, (by the way intelligence means smarts). If you had any knowledge of the Bible you would know that God is male as he spoke to several people ie Noah with a deep booming voice and the angels referred to God as he, try again Mr. Smarts.


Hah! The bible says that we are made in his image. So, does Pat talk to you?
 
2013-03-18 04:36:43 PM  
www.nowtheendbegins.com

lulz
 
Displayed 50 of 181 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report