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(Cracked)   Five myths about the Revolutionary War everyone believes. Or why Texas will cry itself to sleep tonight   (cracked.com) divider line 25
    More: Interesting, Revolutionary War, Texas, Americans, Continental Army, Benedict Arnold, Call of Duty 2, loyalists, British Military  
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28517 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Mar 2013 at 2:24 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2013-03-17 03:50:37 PM
4 votes:
FTFA: "the whole battle for American independence was essentially a proxy war between Britain and France".

Yeah, Britain and France were engaged in a world wide war. Something not covered in US textbooks was that the British thought their Caribbean colonies were more valuable than the future US because they were - they generated more money.

Textbooks won't teach that keeping Jamaica was more essential than keeping the US.
2013-03-17 02:46:59 PM
4 votes:
This is why French hate always bewilders me. Not only did they supply us, but they loaned us notable badasses like Francis Marion (Swamp Fox). I'm no military expert, but it seems clear that without the French we would have lost.

In 2003 we demonized them as pussies for not going along with the Iraq thing. Even when they spearheaded Libya we questioned why we should be taking a backseat role.

Speaking of 2003, in those days I lived in the French Quarter of New Orleans. One guy who had a French flag (along with America and Louisiana) atop his property took it down, explaining to me that there was no room for pussies on his rooftop. I was incredulous. Thing is, those who objected have now been proven right. I walk by that same building nearly every day and the flag is still gone.

Freedom Fries. Freedom Toast....
2013-03-17 02:29:40 PM
3 votes:
Texas wasn't even a state at the time so I don't know what they'd be sad about... they had about as much involvement in the revolutionary war as Korea did.
2013-03-17 01:53:18 PM
3 votes:

CPT Ethanolic: Here's another much believed myth - that Washington was some kind of super-general.  In reality, the guy bungled things over and over in the beginning and SHOULD have lost if Howe hadn't bungled things even worse at Boston and New York.  Early on, MANY surrounding Washington considered him incompetent and actively petitioned to have him removed from command.

I've always enjoyed telling homophobes that one of the greatest Revolutionary war heroes was kicked out of the military for being gay.

2013-03-17 09:27:55 PM
2 votes:

Need_MindBleach: HairBolus: Need_MindBleach: From what I've read about the Revolutionary War, we didn't win because of our amazing fighting skills or even ability to form alliances with British enemies, but because the entire thing was a massive clusterfark on the British side, starting with the British prime minister (the same one mentioned as trying to resign halfway through) passing the laws that sparked the revolution and, then predicting he'd be able to enforce them with a couple frigates.

That is a very provincial US centric view. The British and French were in a world war. The Brits skimped on preserving their US colonies because for them holding onto their Caribbean colonies was economically more important. Sorry, but the future US was seen as less important than Jamaica.

The British and French were in a world war? Where did you learn history? The British and French were not in any sort of war until the French jumped into Britain's little colonial conflict, forcing them to cut their losses in the rebellious parts of North America in order to hang on to all their other colonies.


The Seven Years War / French and Indian War was a world war with fighting all over the globe.

upload.wikimedia.org It officially "ended" in 1763 which meant that it turned into a cold war that flared up in 1775 in the American Revolutionary War, which again was a world war with fighting all over the globe - not just North America but also the West Indies, Mediterranean, and India. And yes, Britain was stretched thin but was more successful in defending those other colonies than is was in North America.
2013-03-17 03:11:42 PM
2 votes:

alwaysjaded: CPT Ethanolic: Here's another much believed myth - that Washington was some kind of super-general.  In reality, the guy bungled things over and over in the beginning and SHOULD have lost if Howe hadn't bungled things even worse at Boston and New York.  Early on, MANY surrounding Washington considered him incompetent and actively petitioned to have him removed from command.
I've always enjoyed telling homophobes that one of the greatest Revolutionary war heroes was kicked out of the military for being gay.


As cool as it would be, the one comment on the page definitely made me think. The author provides no sources and every other site that mentions the same thing provides no sources or links to other gay website contributions.

Just because some guys writes about it on the internet does not mean it is true. This story is ambiguous at best and only became a story when don't ask don't tell was being debated and repealed.
2013-03-17 03:09:17 PM
2 votes:
Benedict Arnold was one of America greatest commanders until he committed treason, citing incompetence.
The man who spent all of his money financing the war was never reimbursed and died in poverty afterwards.
The troops at Valley Forge would have been fine if the leaders of the revolution had decided to actually fund it, but they balked at the price.


I've had complaints from parents that I teach the "true history" rather than "feel good history."

/real quotes from real parents.
2013-03-17 03:06:37 PM
2 votes:
It Must be a good thing I never paid attention in high school history class.

I've said the following for years now:
"If it wasn't for the French, we'd all be speaking English right now".

Amazing how much that pisses some people off.
2013-03-17 03:05:05 PM
2 votes:
I thought it was fairly common knowledge that without the French, it was game over for the Americans.

Also, how does Texas fit in to this? Wasnt it a Spanish concern in those days?

/ never heard of the chick with the cannons
2013-03-17 03:02:22 PM
2 votes:
It would be nice if "conservatives" who tout their patriotism and how they model themselves after the founding fathers could actually read a bit of history. They'd find that, in a very real sense, they would have been "loyalists".

Yep. The founding members of the US were, in fact, progressives and pretty much liberals of their day. They wanted change from the status quo, wanted ... gasp! ... progress for their people, wanted to basically muck about with the system.

Oh the amusement.
2013-03-17 02:49:28 PM
2 votes:
So basically we were fed an equivalent amount of BS about our history as the Soviets were back in the old days.
2013-03-17 01:26:49 PM
2 votes:
The best book I ever read about the Revolution was 1776 by David McCullogh. Really gave a good picture of just how much of a miracle it was that we won that war.

Also why I loved HBO's adaptation of John Adams. The second episode specifically. The portrayals of flawed people was much more refreshing than the "George Washington rides in on Jesus waves with a bald eagle on his shoulder and has TJ draft the Constitution in British blood while farking a girl named Liberty" myth.
2013-03-17 11:43:55 AM
2 votes:
1. Subby should be kicked in the nads for linking page 2.
2. Cracked fails as usual for not including Paul Revere.  Warning people that the British were coming would have only confused people when they all thought of themselves as British.
2013-03-17 11:37:44 PM
1 votes:

Mister Peejay: The French government basically had a plan for one type of invasion, Germany circumvented it, the military stuck to their now-irrelevant plan because THE PLAN, then the government rolled over and gave in because game over.

But the actual people, on the other hand...


Everyone knew that Germany would circumvent the Maginot line by going through Belgium, because that's exactly how they invaded during WWI.  But building fortifications along the French-Belgian border would have essentially been telling the Belgians they'd better start learning German.
2013-03-17 04:43:47 PM
1 votes:

Old enough to know better: I think most of the hate comes from WWII. Something I never understood either. Yeah they surrendered. After getting their asses beat by the German army. Just like, y'know, most of western Europe?


Have you noticed in the WWII movies that whenever the GIs need intelligence or supplies from 'the underground', they're always French?  As a nation they had their asses handed to them but as a people they fought on as best they could.  Being of Danish descent I can sympathize.  Look at a map of Germany, you'll understand.

<CSB> My dad joined the Danish army just in time for King Christian to surrender to Hitler.  I learned decades later that he and his father-in-law worked on the Underground Rail moving refugees north to freedom. </CSB>
2013-03-17 03:49:43 PM
1 votes:

alwaysjaded: CPT Ethanolic: Here's another much believed myth - that Washington was some kind of super-general.  In reality, the guy bungled things over and over in the beginning and SHOULD have lost if Howe hadn't bungled things even worse at Boston and New York.  Early on, MANY surrounding Washington considered him incompetent and actively petitioned to have him removed from command.
I've always enjoyed telling homophobes that one of the greatest Revolutionary war heroes was kicked out of the military for being gay.


Nope, that's just rumor, go read the wiki discussion about it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk%3AFriedrich_Wilhelm_von_Steuben and you'll find only people repeating rumors, back to what may have been just a typical way to slander a rival in 18th century Europe. That he never married and left his estate to his former Aides-de-camp is certainly suspect; but then the article you link offers his assertion in his will as proof of a sexual relationship : Steuban admitting an "extraordinarily intense emotional relationship...", but then leaving out the second part of that quote:  "...treating them as surrogate sons". Not really the smoking gun that author wanted you to believe.
2013-03-17 03:23:16 PM
1 votes:

redmid17: dickfreckle: This is why French hate always bewilders me. Not only did they supply us, but they loaned us notable badasses like Francis Marion (Swamp Fox). I'm no military expert, but it seems clear that without the French we would have lost.

In 2003 we demonized them as pussies for not going along with the Iraq thing. Even when they spearheaded Libya we questioned why we should be taking a backseat role.

Speaking of 2003, in those days I lived in the French Quarter of New Orleans. One guy who had a French flag (along with America and Louisiana) atop his property took it down, explaining to me that there was no room for pussies on his rooftop. I was incredulous. Thing is, those who objected have now been proven right. I walk by that same building nearly every day and the flag is still gone.

Freedom Fries. Freedom Toast....

Um Francis Marion was born in South Carolina. I'd have to double check but I'm pretty sure he fought against the French in the French and Indian war, at least fought for the British


Sonofa... yeah I was wrong. All my life I thought he had actually come from the French military. Look, when I'm wrong, I'm wrong. Thanks for clearing that up for me.
2013-03-17 03:21:47 PM
1 votes:

dennysgod: The 2nd Amendment had nothing to do with ensuring "the government is afraid of it's citizens" that was born not out of the Revolutionary war but rather that, as well with most of the US Bill of Rights, its almost word for word a rehash the 1689 English Bill of Rights that the Colonialist already lived under.


James Madison's diary from the constitutional convention makes it very clear that the reason behind "the right to bear arms" was to pacify anti-federalists who didn't want the federal government to have the authority to establish and maintain an army because it could be used to boss around states. It's really all about anti-federalist paranoia.
2013-03-17 03:14:45 PM
1 votes:

mekki: iheartscotch: George Washington was 7 feet tall; with laserbeem eyes that never failed, to kill.

Nathaniel Greene was a mountain of a man, with a "born to kill" tattoo.

Between nailing all of the wives and mistresses of the British officers, Ben Franklin singlehandedly forced the French to admit he was awesome and help the US.

Thomas Jefferson once killed a British spy with a writing quill.

Sam Adams singlehandedly supplied all the beer for the colonists. His beer survives to this day.

And once again John Adams is ignored.

/Sit down, John!


At leats John doesn't have his name associated with crappy beer.
2013-03-17 02:59:06 PM
1 votes:

dickfreckle: This is why French hate always bewilders me. Not only did they supply us, but they loaned us notable badasses like Francis Marion (Swamp Fox). I'm no military expert, but it seems clear that without the French we would have lost.

In 2003 we demonized them as pussies for not going along with the Iraq thing. Even when they spearheaded Libya we questioned why we should be taking a backseat role.

Speaking of 2003, in those days I lived in the French Quarter of New Orleans. One guy who had a French flag (along with America and Louisiana) atop his property took it down, explaining to me that there was no room for pussies on his rooftop. I was incredulous. Thing is, those who objected have now been proven right. I walk by that same building nearly every day and the flag is still gone.

Freedom Fries. Freedom Toast....


Um Francis Marion was born in South Carolina. I'd have to double check but I'm pretty sure he fought against the French in the French and Indian war, at least fought for the British
2013-03-17 02:55:34 PM
1 votes:
Here's an episode of Crash Course covering the topic in an interesting way.
2013-03-17 02:52:02 PM
1 votes:

Deathfrogg: alwaysjaded: vpb:

The girl named liberty was a myth?  What was her real name then?

Destiny

Actually, it was Destini.

You know, with an "i". She was the one with the live goldfish in her 7 inch pups.


You mean Destinii...
2013-03-17 12:47:03 PM
1 votes:

GAT_00: 1. Subby should be kicked in the nads for linking page 2.
2. Cracked fails as usual for not including Paul Revere.  Warning people that the British were coming would have only confused people when they all thought of themselves as British.


I thought he warned everyone the Red Coats were coming.
2013-03-17 11:25:07 AM
1 votes:
True story.

The First Amendment as we now it, was really meant to be the 6th Amendment, but some moran farked up and submitted the 2nd page to Congress first after reading through it.

The right to a speedy trial and stuff was really supposed to be the First Amendment.
2013-03-17 11:15:30 AM
1 votes:
Obviously the author of this article is some kind of "turerist".
 
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