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(CBS Chicago)   Have you ever heard of the "Viper Team"? Well you shouldn't have. They are elite and top secret. Here is exclusive video of them in action though   (chicago.cbslocal.com) divider line 23
    More: Obvious, Metra, nuclear and radiation accidents, nuclear tests, swarms  
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13680 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Mar 2013 at 9:45 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-17 08:51:28 AM  
14 votes:
Are they coming to vipe the vindows?
2013-03-17 10:18:48 AM  
8 votes:
My CSB VIPR Story:
During the 2012 Detroit Auto Show the TSA showed up en masse to secure the People Mover, a raised tram system in Detroit.  As I was standing on the Greektown platform a wild VIPR Team appeared.  This team was two guys decked out like they went to the SOCOM gear store and said "two of everything please".  Of course the impact of all their visible tan body armor was somewhat lessened by the fact the body armor was sized to fit around beer guts.  Plus a somewhat clueless looking woman with a golden retriever.  As they walked out and down the platform one of the men growled at me "Please step back sir, the dog needs room to operate."  The dog however smelled the takeout pizza box I had in my hand lunged at the box.  I was pondering making a comment about the dog needing remedial training, but figured it wasn't worth pissing off the power tripping douchebags.  However by this time a pair of Detroit Police officers had arrived to see what was going on and they demanded the VIPR Team get off the platform and take that "damn dog" with them.

All three TSA clowns were so busy arguing with the Detroit Police they totally lost track of the dog.  They're yelling about being federal agents while ignoring the fact I'm now scratching their lab behind the ears and feeding him a breadstick (poor guy deserved it, he has to work with the TSA all day).  Just I got on the People Mover two more Detroit Police officers showed up and announced that the TSA agents had one minute to get off the platform or they'd be under arrest.

/the poor dog tried to get on the People Mover with me
//actually caused his handler to fall on her ass because he lunged to follow me (and the food) onto the train and pulled her down
/I hope sequestration gutted their budget
2013-03-17 10:40:32 AM  
5 votes:

Just Another OC Homeless Guy: edmo: First time I ever saw "elite" and TSA in the same sentence.

Composed exclusively of TSA employees who have graduated High School. Sort of reminds me of those Barry Sadler lyrics: "One hundred men will test today, but only three win the green beret...."


Keeping scissors from the sky
Pawing girls who want to die
Shoes will kill you all one day
The brave men of the TSA.
2013-03-17 10:01:23 AM  
3 votes:
TSA?

VIPR - Violently Ignoring People's Rights?
2013-03-17 09:50:59 AM  
3 votes:
Elite TSA eh?  So these are the ones that actually graduated high school then?

/still, having unobtrusive detectors for radiation and only get in the public's face when they want to know why one was tripped?  That's doing it right.
//unless this was one of those drill situation where they were pre-warned that guy was on the train and they had to find him, that's just sheer bullshiat then.
2013-03-17 10:09:55 AM  
2 votes:

Nefarious: Are they coming to vipe the vindows?


i.imgur.com
2013-03-17 10:01:21 AM  
2 votes:
Well look at it this way.. If they were police officers in charge of the same security that poor guy would have been dragged off the train, tasered, tuned up and thrown in jail for a week.
2013-03-17 09:55:34 AM  
2 votes:
Oooooh they had  Hand-Held NUCLEAR Detection Devices !!

[checks ebay for the price on a geiger counter]

Wow, the feds blew a whole c-note on each of these devices. Im-pressssed!!
2013-03-17 09:53:59 AM  
2 votes:
This is surreal.  It's like The Last Starfighter, but in real life!

Well, in The Last Starfighter they used video games to recruit the most skilled warriors in the galaxy, and the TSA used pizza boxes.  It's too similar to be regarded as coincidence.
2013-03-17 04:30:03 PM  
1 votes:
Have you ever heard of the

Americans
Secretly
Serving
Higher
Order &
Law
Enforcement
Services?

obscure FFB reference, nyet?
2013-03-17 11:08:14 AM  
1 votes:

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: The more hyperbolic the name of the government project (VIPR team, USA PATRIOT Act), the worse it is. FFS, our most badass special forces teams are named after this:
[ec.europa.eu image 450x297]


Look out for the Milquetoast squad.
2013-03-17 11:02:54 AM  
1 votes:

Dictatorial_Flair: Great. Now the high school dropout squad has Geiger Counters they don't know how to use are are armed with farking military hardware. I feel so goddamn safe now.


I'd really love to have some physics geeks ask them in the field about the thresholds and sensitivity of the Geiger counters, whether specific obscure elements that are radioactive trigger them, and other scientific questions to get a "Huh, whuh?" response. It'd be like XKCD cosplay.
2013-03-17 11:01:39 AM  
1 votes:

Nefarious: Are they coming to vipe the vindows?


Well, there goes my chance to gain Fark cred by dropping an obscure cultural reference.
2013-03-17 10:57:13 AM  
1 votes:
Incompetent "elite" organisations named after snakes? Someone is getting sued.

images3.wikia.nocookie.net
2013-03-17 10:47:00 AM  
1 votes:

Tobin_Lam: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: The more hyperbolic the name of the government project (VIPR team, USA PATRIOT Act), the worse it is. FFS, our most badass special forces teams are named after this:
[ec.europa.eu image 450x297]

Seals are badass. I bet you would lose a fight with one in hand to hand combat.


Yeah, but if you turn the tables the difference in abilities is just as apparent.  Ask a SEAL to solve a polynomial equation sometime and see what happens.
2013-03-17 10:40:07 AM  
1 votes:

RacySmurff: doosh: Oooooh they had  Hand-Held NUCLEAR Detection Devices !!

[checks ebay for the price on a geiger counter]

Wow, the feds blew a whole c-note on each of these devices. Im-pressssed!!

Clearly you don't know much about the workings of our wonderful bureaucracy. I'm sure the government gets them wholesale. So they probably cost $13,000 +/+ (read plus or plus) $20,000 or so.


Why would anybody charge 20k for 100 dollar geiger counter?
2013-03-17 10:37:36 AM  
1 votes:
3.bp.blogspot.com
.
2013-03-17 10:30:45 AM  
1 votes:

MFAWG: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: The more hyperbolic the name of the government project (VIPR team, USA PATRIOT Act), the worse it is. FFS, our most badass special forces teams are named after this:
[ec.europa.eu image 450x297]

It's an acronym.  The more you know!


So is VIPR and USA PATRIOT. God help us when the U.S.A. F.R.E.E.D.O.M. F.O.R.E.V.E.R. P.R.O.T.E.C.T.I.N.G. L.I.B.E.R.T.Y. G.O.D. B.L.E.S.S. A.M.E.R.I.C.A. N.I.N.E. E.L.E.V.E.N. N.E.V.E.R. A.G.A.I.N. Unit is announced.
2013-03-17 10:25:18 AM  
1 votes:

Nefarious: Are they coming to vipe the vindows?


I love you! Put a baby in me.
2013-03-17 10:23:29 AM  
1 votes:

edmo: First time I ever saw "elite" and TSA in the same sentence.


You can't spell "Elite TSA" without "Easel Tit."

/Or "Stale Tie."
2013-03-17 10:13:38 AM  
1 votes:

Girion47: I once did a baseline safety analysis of a Viper team in a fairly large city down in Florida.   Got to ride around with the guys, see where they set up, and what kind of unique dangers they were exposed to when doing their job.

One of them had been on a sub for the Navy, he had all kinds of crazy ass stories about what happened on his boat.


chilling oration, brother.
2013-03-17 09:57:44 AM  
1 votes:
TSA TSA TSA
2013-03-17 07:13:23 AM  
1 votes:
Oh they're part of TSA?  Did they find the bottle of water they were looking for?

I do like the guy talking about how safe he feels knowing big government is out there tracking people who engage in certain medical treatments.
 
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