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(Anchorage Daily News)   "Who just goes to Walmart to shoot somebody?"   (adn.com) divider line 49
    More: Obvious, Anchorage Walmart, long gun, police tape, prosthetic leg, carts, service dog, Daniel Pirtle  
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4390 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Mar 2013 at 6:06 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-03-17 04:38:49 AM
It's such a strange, outlandish story.  I can't imagine it happening anywhere but at Walmart.
 
2013-03-17 06:12:29 AM
People of Walmart?
 
2013-03-17 06:13:08 AM
I'm glad they didn't close the store for such an everyday incidence.
 
2013-03-17 06:14:08 AM
So many Teahadists will read just the first line of the story and think "The day is here! To the Hoverounds! We ride at dawn to take Washington!"

At least it's Sunday, so most of them will be towed off the Beltway before tomorrow's rush hour.
 
2013-03-17 06:14:31 AM
Walmart has everything, including shooting victims.  Everyday low prices on 'em, too.  You can return 'em within 30 days, no questions asked, unless they're electronic; then you have 15 days and there may be a restocking fee.

Walmart:  for all your shooting needs.

(Service animals on leashes welcome.)
 
2013-03-17 06:17:41 AM
business continued as usual minutes later, with many shoppers unaware a shooting had taken place.

Sounds about right.

Read more here: http://www.adn.com/2013/03/16/2828283/one-shot-at-anchorage-walmart.h t ml#storylink=cpy
 
xcv
2013-03-17 06:21:35 AM
So if responding bystander grabs some towels off the shelves to try and stop the bleeding from a victim's injury, is Walmart going to have the good samaritan charged with theft unless he/she pays for the items?
 
2013-03-17 06:22:04 AM
Going out on a limb here...the mouth-breathing Proletariat?
 
2013-03-17 06:26:25 AM

xcv: So if responding bystander grabs some towels off the shelves to try and stop the bleeding from a victim's injury, is Walmart going to have the good samaritan charged with theft unless he/she pays for the items?

Nope, just a sale for red towels.
 
2013-03-17 06:26:42 AM
Did they check his receipt on the way out to the patrol car?
 
2013-03-17 06:30:19 AM
You gotta dress up for it and everything! The Dollar Store is far better for my shooting needs.
 
2013-03-17 06:31:20 AM
He was going to go to the Dollar Palace, but he felt like getting dressed up.
 
2013-03-17 06:31:56 AM

BolloxReader: You gotta dress up for it and everything! The Dollar Store is far better for my shooting needs.


*tiny fist*
 
2013-03-17 06:38:07 AM
A humanitarian. I can't tell you how many times I've stood in a Wal-Mart wishing somebody would just shoot me.
 
2013-03-17 06:43:51 AM
i45.tinypic.com
 
2013-03-17 06:45:47 AM

antron: [i45.tinypic.com image 370x250]


So, she doesn't bother with a bathrobe?
 
2013-03-17 06:52:30 AM
I live in Nova Scotia and I'm always intrigued by these Walmart stories. We just don't attract/get that degree of whackadoodle around here. Sometimes, I gotta admit, I feel cheated. No people in bizarre outfits, hardly any screaming kids, very few hoveround users. And I can't remember a single gun incident. Walmarts here are really pretty boring.
 
2013-03-17 07:03:57 AM
Judging by the people I've seen in Walmart, it's a coin toss as to whether the shooting victims would bleed, or pop....
 
2013-03-17 07:04:10 AM
Having seen People of Walmart, it seems about as good of a place as any if you was gonna try and clorox the gene pool.
 
2013-03-17 07:26:30 AM
The officers removed Pirtle's prosthetic legs and put him in the back of a patrol car.

Read more here: http://www.adn.com/2013/03/16/2828283/one-shot-at-anchorage-walmart.h t ml#storylink=cpy
"don't worry, he won't get far on foot,"
 
2013-03-17 07:42:34 AM
The most important sentence in the story:
Army Sgt. Carlos Morales said he, his wife and his kids were in a nearby aisle. His wife played with a hula hoop, then they started walking to where the store displays TVs, Morales said.

/biatch started it with the hula-hooping


Read more here: http://www.adn.com/2013/03/16/2828283/one-shot-at-anchorage-walmart.h t ml#storylink=cpy
 
2013-03-17 07:46:52 AM
Mama always told me to stay away from crippled people. We didn't have physically challenged folk, back in the day.
 
2013-03-17 08:37:03 AM
Now that we have two examples... I think we can all agree that if you have fake legs somebody is getting shot.
 
2013-03-17 08:40:12 AM
Not nearly as many as you'd think.
 
2013-03-17 09:15:08 AM
You know... if more people were carrying guns this would never have happened.

Nope. It would have happened very differently... At least two or more people would be in hospital or dead.

But then this is Walmart, so I'm not sure if that's a bad thing or not.
 
2013-03-17 09:30:14 AM

xcv: So if responding bystander grabs some towels off the shelves to try and stop the bleeding from a victim's injury, is Walmart going to have the good samaritan charged with theft unless he/she pays for the items?


Unfair enrichment or some shiat.
 
2013-03-17 09:51:33 AM
Duh, it's where they have the most people worth shooting.

i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com

And many of them are just difficult to miss when you pull the trigger.
 
2013-03-17 09:57:34 AM
"Sporting goods isn't going to be open for a little while," an employee said.
 
2013-03-17 10:12:39 AM
"We remain concerned for our associate and pray for a quick recovery from his injuries."

Umm...Isn't Walmart rather notorious for buying life insurance policies for its employees (with the company listed as beneficiary) and cashing-in when they die?  Those prayers aren't for a quick recovery...they're for a quick payout.
 
2013-03-17 10:13:25 AM
Police?
 
2013-03-17 10:35:18 AM
I worked at Walmart and I all got was this lousy gunshot wound.
 
2013-03-17 10:45:26 AM
Who doesn't?
 
2013-03-17 11:02:23 AM
I DO
 
2013-03-17 11:09:39 AM
There are a LOT of people carrying guns at Wal-Mart. In fact, that's traditionally the first place you go when you get your concealed carry permit (called the "Wal-Mart Walk").

i953.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-17 12:03:33 PM
they sell nachos at walmart?

that's actually a reason to go

i mean what the hell else would you actually buy there
 
2013-03-17 12:42:00 PM

wambu: Duh, it's where they have the most people worth shooting.

[i.imgur.com image 600x375]
[i.imgur.com image 600x375]
[i.imgur.com image 300x187]
[i.imgur.com image 400x250]
[i.imgur.com image 480x298]

And many of them are just difficult to miss when you pull the trigger.


We should shoot people for being weird/ugly/bad dressers?


Also as a employee, after the Sandy Hook shooting, we have discussed with each other what we think the store would do if someone were shot. Would we close for the day? If it were an employee who was shot? Those kind of things. I guess we know the answer now.
 
2013-03-17 12:56:54 PM

The Downfall: We should shoot people for being weird/ugly/bad dressers?


i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-17 01:10:12 PM

wambu: Duh, it's where they have the most people worth shooting.

[i.imgur.com image 600x375]
[i.imgur.com image 600x375]
[i.imgur.com image 300x187]
[i.imgur.com image 400x250]
[i.imgur.com image 480x298]

And many of them are just difficult to miss when you pull the trigger.


Elvis!
 
2013-03-17 01:33:31 PM

FatherDale: The most important sentence in the story:
Army Sgt. Carlos Morales said he, his wife and his kids were in a nearby aisle. His wife played with a hula hoop, then they started walking to where the store displays TVs, Morales said.


They still sell hula hoops?? I'd think a kid's first reaction would be "no battery or USB port? screw that."
 
2013-03-17 02:04:35 PM

Sass-O-Rev: I live in Nova Scotia and I'm always intrigued by these Walmart stories. We just don't attract/get that degree of whackadoodle around here. Sometimes, I gotta admit, I feel cheated. No people in bizarre outfits, hardly any screaming kids, very few hoveround users. And I can't remember a single gun incident. Walmarts here are really pretty boring.


I should hook you up with my travel agent.
The Southern WalMart tour is by far the more popular package. It offers a much more colorful view and experience.
But the MidWest tour is very popular also. It offers a glimpse into the whole WalMart bathroom meth making experience.
 
2013-03-17 02:34:59 PM
It took a dozen police cruisers, to get a guy in a motorized scooter, and then they removed his prosthetic legs. You know, just in case he tried to overpower them. Cops always come out looking silly in these stories.
 
2013-03-17 03:40:10 PM

mrbach: It took a dozen police cruisers, to get a guy in a motorized scooter, and then they removed his prosthetic legs. You know, just in case he tried to overpower them. Cops always come out looking silly in these stories.


It took a dozen cops to respond to gunfire in a public shopping center with limited information about what was happening.

Anchorage cops are, for the most part, pretty professional.
 
2013-03-17 03:41:33 PM
Can you think of a better reason to go to walmart?
We should be thanking this guy and encouraging copycats.
I mean seriously have you ever watched the people that go to walmart, Idiocracy has come to life.
 
2013-03-17 04:02:31 PM

The Downfall: Also as a employee, after the Sandy Hook shooting, we have discussed with each other what we think the store would do if someone were shot. Would we close for the day? If it were an employee who was shot? Those kind of things. I guess we know the answer now.


1. CNN would commission theme music and special graphics for the tragedy.
2. Walmart would close all stores (alll hourly employees on unpaid leave) worldwide for a week in mourning and in preparation for the re-opening sale.
3. The affected store would be shuttered, demolished and re-built as a memorial to the victims and Sam Walton.
4. Bricks form the demolished store would be displayed at all remaining Walmarts and serve as a touchstone for pilgrims wishing to express their condolences and receive additional discounts.

John Walton appeared to me in a vision and told me this. I wrote the words down on Maker's Mark toilet tissue to preserve them.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-17 04:09:44 PM

The Downfall: We should shoot people for being weird/ugly/bad dressers?


Of course not. There are no weird/ugly/bad dressers at Walmart. They are at the Dollar Store.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-17 05:01:05 PM
FTA: "Pirtle, a double amputee with metal, prosthetic legs, came into Walmart with his service dog not on a leash."

Sufficient justification in my book: do not come between a boy and his dog.


/ Obscure?
 
2013-03-17 06:47:14 PM
I just can't be outraged over this, walmart managers are just fired used car salesmen.
 
2013-03-17 08:45:14 PM
Northern Lights Wal-Mart? *checks story* Yup.
 
2013-03-18 11:04:13 AM
Totally read TFH as "Who goes to WalMart just to shoot somebody?" And here I was thinking - yeah, you should probably get some paper towels and a frozen pizza or something, if you're going anyway.
 
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