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(NYPost)   Olivia Wilde: Best. Girlfriend. EVAR   (nypost.com) divider line 91
    More: Cool, Diablo Cody, Jason Sudeikis, Ty Burrell, Olivia Wilde, EVAR, Ashley Greene, Shreveport  
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21295 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 16 Mar 2013 at 6:57 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-16 03:49:55 PM
Best girlfriend?  I thought there's no sex in the champagne room.
 
2013-03-16 03:55:01 PM
Any excuse to have an Olivia Wilde thread is fine by me.
 
2013-03-16 04:50:34 PM
13 still going strong.
 
2013-03-16 06:01:02 PM
You know, a beejer from her wouldn't be that different from a beejer from any other woman.

So if i close my eyes . . .
 
2013-03-16 06:19:45 PM
Meh.... I've had better, but 13's alright, anyway:

s14.postimage.org
 
2013-03-16 06:36:16 PM

wambu: You know, a beejer from her wouldn't be that different from a beejer from any other woman.

So if i close my eyes . . .


What if it's from an old geezer alternating between mouth and tracheotomy hole?  Would you know?
 
2013-03-16 07:00:31 PM
i've gotten many a cockburn from her.
 
2013-03-16 07:05:34 PM
Just watched Tron: Legacy last night. She was adorable in her pixie cut, probably the best thing about the movie.

collider.com

I think I'm going to have nightmares for weeks about "uncanny valley" Clu, though.

i45.tinypic.com

*shudder*
 
2013-03-16 07:08:47 PM
As the wife of a [former] runner, who trained like a Kenya marathon runner... no thanks, I will take post-runner husband to a husband in training. Two-a-Days, needing to eat constantly and nearly 100 mile weeks? No thanks. Too tired to do anything, including picking up his stinky stuff?

I much prefer 3-4 nights a week of soccer now.
 
2013-03-16 07:08:57 PM
FTA:The source continued with a lot more detail that cannot be printed in a family newspaper or gossip column, adding, "They were in there for two hours, Olivia picked up the entire tab. Jason is a lucky guy."

Since when is the Post a 'family" newspaper?

Also, real question is if bisexual Wilde let him have threesomes.
 
2013-03-16 07:09:06 PM
The source continued with a lot more detail that cannot be printed in a family newspaper or gossip column, adding, "They were in there for two hours, Olivia picked up the entire tab. Jason is a lucky guy."

Sudeikis' rep commented, "Are you saying the New York Post is a family newspaper?"


And Sudeikis continues his win streak.
 
2013-03-16 07:09:43 PM
There is only one thing worse than playing squash together, and that is playing it by yourself.

/wrong Wilde
 
2013-03-16 07:14:26 PM
I'd rather stay home with Olivia Wilde than go to a stupid strip club, but that's just me.  I'm old.
 
2013-03-16 07:15:48 PM
Just watched her play a stripper in the film Butter last night.
 
2013-03-16 07:19:54 PM
Somebody's trying too hard. At the risk of sounding super prudish, girlfriends aren't supposed to enjoy their boyfriends hanging out with a bunch of strippers, let alone make arrangements for it and foot the bill. She's looking for the exact reaction you farkers are giving now so she can either drop the hammer down HARD once the vows are said or have an out when she's caught blowing the poolboy.
 
2013-03-16 07:23:49 PM
they "have sex like Kenyan marathon runners "

www.iol.co.za
 
2013-03-16 07:28:44 PM
She's hot, but she's lost too much weight. Her jaw line is getting a little Maria Shriver-ish.

/yes, yes. I know. I macramed myself a pair of jean shorts and I like Coldplay
 
2013-03-16 07:31:57 PM
adding they "have sex like Kenyan marathon runners."

But, I like to wear shoes during sex.  Is that wrong?
 
2013-03-16 07:48:17 PM

The Great EZE: Somebody's trying too hard. At the risk of sounding super prudish, girlfriends aren't supposed to enjoy their boyfriends hanging out with a bunch of strippers, let alone make arrangements for it and foot the bill. She's looking for the exact reaction you farkers are giving now so she can either drop the hammer down HARD once the vows are said or have an out when she's caught blowing the poolboy.



    you're doing it wrong...
 
2013-03-16 07:55:31 PM

The Great EZE: Somebody's trying too hard. At the risk of sounding super prudish, girlfriends aren't supposed to enjoy their boyfriends hanging out with a bunch of strippers, let alone make arrangements for it and foot the bill. She's looking for the exact reaction you farkers are giving now so she can either drop the hammer down HARD once the vows are said or have an out when she's caught blowing the poolboy.


This particular girlfriend is engaged to one of the costars of Hall Pass and just generally one of the chief man-cave guy-flick posterboys of the day. She knows what she's getting into.
 
2013-03-16 07:57:50 PM

Farker Soze: adding they "have sex like Kenyan marathon runners."

But, I like to wear shoes during sex.  Is that wrong?


If your feet smell like runner feet, then you can probably be excused from taking them off. Seriously, I've considered trashing my husband's shoes after races. Or particularly strenuous runs. We've definitely driven with the windows open, even in cold months.
 
2013-03-16 07:59:56 PM

Farker Soze: adding they "have sex like Kenyan marathon runners."

But, I like to wear shoes during sex.  Is that wrong?


Yes, mostly because of the spiked cleats.  Nothing wrong with some tasteful Mary Janes or a pair of come-hump-me pumps.  But spikes or golf shoes are right out.
 
2013-03-16 08:01:42 PM

Farker Soze: adding they "have sex like Kenyan marathon runners."

But, I like to wear shoes during sex.  Is that wrong?


Mussolini thought not.

Lee's_Austin: Just watched her play a stripper in the film Butter last night.


Is that flick any good?
 
2013-03-16 08:02:57 PM
Not really my thing.  If it were just some hot chicks, rather than a fiance, then it would be my thing...
 
2013-03-16 08:08:33 PM

Zombie DJ: She's hot, but she's lost too much weight. Her jaw line is getting a little Maria Shriver Vanilla Ice-ish.

www.wigstars.comwww.arbitrarytweets.com

 
2013-03-16 08:15:19 PM
Who's on the "it's not cheating if it's her" list when Olivia Wilde is already your girlfriend?
 
2013-03-16 08:19:06 PM

fusillade762: Just watched Tron: Legacy last night. She was adorable in her pixie cut, probably the best thing about the movie.

[collider.com image 570x353]

I think I'm going to have nightmares for weeks about "uncanny valley" Clu, though.

[i45.tinypic.com image 320x400]

*shudder*


I have no doubt her valley is uncanny.
 
2013-03-16 08:22:48 PM

The Great EZE: Somebody's trying too hard. At the risk of sounding super prudish, girlfriends aren't supposed to enjoy their boyfriends hanging out with a bunch of strippers, let alone make arrangements for it and foot the bill. She's looking for the exact reaction you farkers are giving now so she can either drop the hammer down HARD once the vows are said or have an out when she's caught blowing the poolboy.


Every relationship is different. I personally agree with you - if my wife ever did anything like this I'd be horrified. I don't want her to want to share me with anyone, and I don't want to share her with anyone. But different people have different relationships.
 
2013-03-16 08:27:25 PM

Ed Willy: FTA:The source continued with a lot more detail that cannot be printed in a family newspaper or gossip column, adding, "They were in there for two hours, Olivia picked up the entire tab. Jason is a lucky guy."

Since when is the Post a 'family" newspaper?

Also, real question is if bisexual Wilde let him have threesomes.


She said he couldn't touch the girls, so I doubt it
 
2013-03-16 08:36:10 PM
Wilde, who also strips off in the new movie "Drinking Buddies," has previously described how she was "blissfully, hopefully, wildly in love" with Sudeikis, adding they "have sex like Kenyan marathon runners."


She used to rave about how in love she was with her (now) ex-husband, until she started talking about how they never had sex, and eventually they got divorced. I'll give this one 3 1/2 years before they split as "great friends."
 
2013-03-16 08:44:27 PM

Christian Bale: Wilde, who also strips off in the new movie "Drinking Buddies," has previously described how she was "blissfully, hopefully, wildly in love" with Sudeikis, adding they "have sex like Kenyan marathon runners."


She used to rave about how in love she was with her (now) ex-husband, until she started talking about how they never had sex, and eventually they got divorced. I'll give this one 3 1/2 years before they split as "great friends."


but oh what a fun 3.5 years itll be for sudeikis.

lucky motherfarker
 
2013-03-16 08:48:44 PM
But she's marrying such an old guy! What will they talk about? They can't have anything in common.
 
2013-03-16 08:56:25 PM
She has this weird desperation vibe about her. This story only adds to it. I really like Jason Sudeikis, and I feel sorry for him because this marriage is going to end painfully for him.
 
2013-03-16 09:05:56 PM

DamnYankees: The Great EZE: Somebody's trying too hard. At the risk of sounding super prudish, girlfriends aren't supposed to enjoy their boyfriends hanging out with a bunch of strippers, let alone make arrangements for it and foot the bill. She's looking for the exact reaction you farkers are giving now so she can either drop the hammer down HARD once the vows are said or have an out when she's caught blowing the poolboy.

Every relationship is different. I personally agree with you - if my wife ever did anything like this I'd be horrified. I don't want her to want to share me with anyone, and I don't want to share her with anyone. But different people have different relationships.


I'm no prude either.  I could give a shiat less if my husband wanted to hang out with the boys at the strip club.  I trust him and his friends not to do anything stupid.

That said, I'm not going to go that far to encourage it, either.  It reeks of her trying to say "don't you wish your woman was so totally secure in herself like me?  I'm just the awesomest girlfriend ever."

And the whole comment about marathon sex?  Her pants are on fire and it ain't got nothing do do with sex.
 
2013-03-16 09:07:28 PM

Last Man on Earth: Who's on the "it's not cheating if it's her" list when Olivia Wilde is already your girlfriend?


Tiffanee and Amber, apparently.

streetbonersandtvcarnage.com
 
2013-03-16 09:43:05 PM

thisisyourbrainonFark: Farker Soze: adding they "have sex like Kenyan marathon runners."

But, I like to wear shoes during sex.  Is that wrong?

Mussolini thought not.

Lee's_Austin: Just watched her play a stripper in the film Butter last night.

Is that flick any good?


Yes.
 
2013-03-16 09:50:26 PM

REO-Weedwagon: She has this weird desperation vibe about her. This story only adds to it. I really like Jason Sudeikis, and I feel sorry for him because this marriage is going to end painfully for him.


Better to have loved and lost.

I'm sure the better alternative to having a wild, hot and heavy relationship with a lively sexy girl that likes you is to identify the sexy woman's personal idiosyncrasies and then pick apart those human elements like the latest Star Trek sequel... ultimately concluding there is more lost than could be gained by such a coupling.

Besides, tonight there's a new MLP episode and I forgot to set the DVR so yeah....I don't even have time to go talk to that pretty girl even if I had the balls to do so, right?
 
2013-03-16 09:53:00 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: But she's marrying such an old guy! What will they talk about? They can't have anything in common.


What the fark IS it with you and a nine or ten year age gap, anyway? You bring it up in almost every thread. Spill, boy.
 
2013-03-16 09:56:07 PM

Ravijn: There is only one thing worse than playing squash together, and that is playing it by yourself.

/wrong Wilde


excellent. very witty.
 
2013-03-16 10:08:08 PM

farkplug: Quantum Apostrophe: But she's marrying such an old guy! What will they talk about? They can't have anything in common.

What the fark IS it with you and a nine or ten year age gap, anyway? You bring it up in almost every thread. Spill, boy.


I don't care, I'm making fun of the people who do think that way... As a man of a certain age, I'm not interested at all in women my age. I'm just fascinated by how people see that, though. I mean I know a guy who is ten years younger than me but because he's completely bald and has rough skin, he looks ten years older than me. That fascinates me because sometimes younger women have extremely narrow age requirements on dating sites, like within a year or two. So they'd be fine with a guy that is 30 but looks 50, but if they approached me thinking I'm 30, they'd be disgusted when they find out I'm 40?
 
2013-03-16 10:30:01 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: farkplug: Quantum Apostrophe: But she's marrying such an old guy! What will they talk about? They can't have anything in common.

What the fark IS it with you and a nine or ten year age gap, anyway? You bring it up in almost every thread. Spill, boy.
 - -
I don't care, I'm making fun of the people who do think that way... As a man of a certain age, I'm not interested at all in women my age. I'm just fascinated by how people see that, though. I mean I know a guy who is ten years younger than me but because he's completely bald and has rough skin, he looks ten years older than me. That fascinates me because sometimes younger women have extremely narrow age requirements on dating sites, like within a year or two. So they'd be fine with a guy that is 30 but looks 50, but if they approached me thinking I'm 30, they'd be disgusted when they find out I'm 40?


Ah. The pitfalls of dating sites. I'm sure they wouldn't care if they met you, but they probably would not want to meet you, based on the number alone. I knew an unusually youthful looking 41 year old woman who was interested in 41 year old men but knew that they wouldn't be interested in her, because they'd have their preconceived ideas about what a 41 year old woman looked like. So she'd lie about her age, saying she was 31, but still shoot for the 41 year old guys. Then came the picture exchanges, and they'd still give her a hard time! Demand that she give a "recent" picture, she can't look that good, etc. Online dating can be stupid.

But then, you get that nutcase teen bride who always walks around dressed like a porn star with a very large, very badly stuffed bra on, what's her name--Courtney Stoddan or something? And her 54 (or whatever) year old husband? This should console you: whenever they make an appearance on a site where comments are allowed, it's 90% people screaming at HER for being such a skank and a whore, and only 10% scream at the old man for marrying a 16 year old airhead. So there you go. Balances things out for you.
 
2013-03-16 10:35:25 PM
If she wanted to be the best girlfriend over, she'd be sucking him off every morning while dressed in her Tron outfit.
 
2013-03-16 10:48:14 PM

farkplug: youthful looking 41 year old woman who was interested in 41 year old men


Why the Christ would she be interested in listless, balding, paunchy graying middle-aged dads who go to bed at 9 and grumble about "kids these days"? She should embrace it and go out with younger men. Plenty of time to be old later on.
 
2013-03-16 11:08:50 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: farkplug: youthful looking 41 year old woman who was interested in 41 year old men

Why the Christ would she be interested in listless, balding, paunchy graying middle-aged dads who go to bed at 9 and grumble about "kids these days"? She should embrace it and go out with younger men. Plenty of time to be old later on.


That's what she ended up doing, mostly because she ran into the same problem a few times--the guy was expecting a rotund, bearded woman in polyester pants with three grown children living at home, and they assumed the photos were old, which set things off on the wrong foot, but the last straw was one guy who basically accused her of being a tranny after writing back and forth for two weeks and getting along really well in every other respect. So she said, 'fark that' and started going out with the guys in their early 30s. Seemed to work out well for a few months, but since then I haven't really talked to her. I hope it's because she's happy! Incidentally the older guys she was interested in were in pretty good shape, pretty active and interesting. They just had really bad attitudes about women aging. Put her right off. I think most people are unhealthy and it shows more in middle age but lots of people take care of themselves and can look great and have "hobbies" and attitudes to match.
 
2013-03-16 11:21:20 PM

farkplug: a rotund, bearded woman in polyester pants with three grown children living at home,


It's frightening how quickly that happens. It's like zap, pow or poof! and you're dead but your body doesn't know it yet.
 
2013-03-16 11:22:15 PM
Saw her on Craig F the other night.

She seems like some one you could hang with.

I always thought she was Australian but nope. As American as the day is long.
 
2013-03-16 11:52:09 PM
How the fark is Jason Sudekis dating Olivia Wilde?

I don't get it.
 
2013-03-16 11:54:13 PM

AeAe: How the fark is Jason Sudekis dating Olivia Wilde?

I don't get it.


He should write a book. Guide for middle-aged schlubs to date way out of your league.
/Dating? He's marrying her! Before she comes to her senses I guess.
 
2013-03-16 11:55:45 PM

Lee's_Austin: thisisyourbrainonFark: Farker Soze: adding they "have sex like Kenyan marathon runners."

But, I like to wear shoes during sex.  Is that wrong?

Mussolini thought not.

Lee's_Austin: Just watched her play a stripper in the film Butter last night.

Is that flick any good?

Yes.


There's a moment when she rides of on a kid's bike that I almost pissed myself laughing.  It was just so perfect.    It really is a good little movie, though the Hugh Jackman stuff is too broad.  Watch it especially for Rob Corddry, who's NOT the comedy in the movie and how well he works with the little girl playing his foster daughter.  That's soem good stuff there.
 
2013-03-16 11:56:02 PM

Six_By_Nine: DamnYankees: The Great EZE: Somebody's trying too hard. At the risk of sounding super prudish, girlfriends aren't supposed to enjoy their boyfriends hanging out with a bunch of strippers, let alone make arrangements for it and foot the bill. She's looking for the exact reaction you farkers are giving now so she can either drop the hammer down HARD once the vows are said or have an out when she's caught blowing the poolboy.

Every relationship is different. I personally agree with you - if my wife ever did anything like this I'd be horrified. I don't want her to want to share me with anyone, and I don't want to share her with anyone. But different people have different relationships.

I'm no prude either.  I could give a shiat less if my husband wanted to hang out with the boys at the strip club.  I trust him and his friends not to do anything stupid.

That said, I'm not going to go that far to encourage it, either.  It reeks of her trying to say "don't you wish your woman was so totally secure in herself like me?  I'm just the awesomest girlfriend ever."

And the whole comment about marathon sex?  Her pants are on fire and it ain't got nothing do do with sex.


I am telling you, marathon runners aren't impressive sexual dynamos when in training (which is most of the time). They're exhausted and want 10 solid hours of sleep. They can't be bothered to pick up after themselves, let alone go at it like teenagers. My husband used to take time off before and after he raised, to rest and recover and THEN, yeah, you'd think we were newlyweds, but for the vast majority of the time, he'd have a headache, be too tired, etc. When they're running 100 mile weeks, eating 4,000 calories a day (every 2 hours) and running twice a day? No.
 
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