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(Slate)   "I'm sorry my autistic child is acting out. Let me tell you how you need to deal with it"   (slate.com) divider line 429
    More: Interesting, acting out, sensitivity training  
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18020 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Mar 2013 at 4:03 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-16 11:17:56 PM  

octopied:
Your friends brother sounds a lot like my dad,my dad can be quite inappropriate, fortunately  not as far to follow a nursing woman and discuss her breasts. He does occasionally bring up he and my mother's intimate relationship details up to me(his daughter) and occasionally will make comments about my breasts,hips or butt...


*immediately clicks profile*
"Damn, no picture!"
*closes window*
 
2013-03-16 11:25:12 PM  

oh_please: Mikey1969: Seriously, if the kid isn't banging you on the head with tableware, you really SHOULD be able to cope. It's not that hard.

So, if I go out to dinner with someone, I should just cope with a repeatedly yelling, bouncing child at the next table? And the parent does nothing about it? Fark that.

The problem in this instance isn't the child, he can't help it.


No, the problem is with someone who can't move on past shiat. I go to restaurants and deal with loud people out for some major drinking, or watching sports on TV. I don't feel so entitled that I feel the need to make these people leave.

You, on the other hand, seem exactly that way. The kids aren't that loud, and it's easy enough to ignore if you stop shouting "Me! Me! Me!" at the top of your lungs.
 
2013-03-16 11:26:21 PM  
did i miss something? the old guy shushed him the author walked over to explain the old guy apologized and instead of going back to her happy little dinner she started giving more explanation than necessary old guy didnt need or care to hear a 10 min explanation and told her so. sounds to me he understood or at least would have left it alone after that but she let herself ruin her night because it was a bigger issue to her than to him
 
2013-03-16 11:26:56 PM  

cptjeff: Mikey1969: cptjeff: Mikey1969: I've seen plenty of autistic and Down's Syndrome people out and about, and if you're so farking precious that you can't handle sitting in the same restaurant as them, you really aren't ready for big-people restaurants.

Seriously, if the kid isn't banging you on the head with tableware, you really SHOULD be able to cope. It's not that hard.

Whole Foods had a point about food contamination, but the security guard was completely out of line and deserved to lose his job. Way too many assholes out there who think tat everyone needs to conform to THEIR particular set of standards, and think that they get to dictate who comes into a restaurant or store merely because THEY are in attendance.

In other words, I hate people.

Which is good, because thinking people hate you.

Jesus. That's the best you can come up with? You need to go back to rebuttal 101, you suck at this.

The problem is that I'm tired and haven't eaten yet, and there was too much stupid packed into your post for me to bother with any sort of real response.


Well, that's marginally better, but it has the ring of group participation to it, as if you got a whole room of morons to help you craft it.
 
2013-03-16 11:30:00 PM  
Kids makes noise.
Guy says "shhh"
Dad says he's autistic.
Shhh guy says he's sorry.

Story over, we're all cool, right?

How does this result in full-length story and a 7 page thread?
 
2013-03-16 11:33:34 PM  

Cup_O_Jo: thenumber5: Cup_O_Jo: #1. Autism from what I have learned in the last years is not a DISABILITY. I am disabled. I have MS.
Please don't compare me to the Mentally "disabled". I would appreciate it. Lumping mental retardation in with physical handicapped people is demeaning.
#2. I don't get a free pass to do whatever I want. If I forget my cane and fall onto someone's wedding cake---"oh sorry" is not going to work. Instead I go places prepared to handle my condition whatever it is that day.
#3. All people mentioned had a caretaker. Maybe the Mom should have been sitting closer to her son-paying more attention to him. Maybe the sister should have her brother on a leash. And maybe the writer should understand I don't want your teenage sons grubby hands all in my freaking salad bar.
This article to me is one of those "it takes a village to raise a child and my child (ect) is autisitic so you should learn how to deal with it. WHEN in fact people should be learning how to handle it themselves, Society is nerfed enough. Yes, we understand your child has special needs however, you need to understand YOU are going to have to do extra work to have them in society.


I really get annoyed at people with a "Visible Disability" think they are more deserving of help and basic compassion then someone with a non-visible disability

if i say i cant do something because this is a my leg/knee is hurting a lot that day, i get "O you have a bad limp sorry"

if i say i cant doing something because my anxiety is currently at 11 and it is taken every fiber of my being to not shut down, i get told "Suck it up"

Actually MS is invisible. If I don't have my cane. I don't look disabled. So what is your point? I think it is funny that people  took my comment to mean that physically disabled are better than mentally disabled.. BTW you are not mentally disabled you are mentally ill. AGAIN a third different thing. I am not saying one disability is better than another. What I am saying is do not lump them all in together. See today I gave you a leg up. I gave you an illness instead of a disability. TADAH.

BTW I am also responding to Mr. Angry=ReverendJynx get the fark over yourself man. You are reading way to much in to shiat.


With all do respect I disagree with you. All illnesses are from a physical origin. Mental illness usually has a brain chemical imbalance. Brain chemical imbalance and structural reformatted can cause learning disabilities. Physical disabilities are caused by structural problems and/or chemical problems. So again all are physical in origin. When someone is mentally I'll they see a doctor and go to therapy to fix it or learn how to lie with it. Same concept applies to the physically disabled. Those with physical disabilities go to specialty doctors who cure them or help them learn how to live with their illness. I see no major difference between mental illness, physical illness, and developmental illnesses. Also all three have varying levels of severity. I hope this makes sense.
 
2013-03-16 11:34:00 PM  
I don't get it.

We have two "special needs" children. The algorithm for dealing with them is fairly simple:

1. We only eat out at "family" or kid-friendly restaurants (if we want to go some place fancy, we get a babysitter)
2. If our kids start acting up (which they sometimes do), we attempt to calm them down and control the situation
3. If we can't get control in a very short time interval (less than 5 minutes), either myself or my wife will remove the child from the restaurant (outside or to the car)
4. If the child calms down, we return to the restaurant
5. If the child does not calm down, we spend some time in the car, and then eat our (doggie-bagged) meals when we get home

Our kids are "different"; we can't live our lives like a "typical" family. That's just the way it is. I don't see any problem with that.

Whoever said that "this 'everything for everyone' attitude is ruining humanity" hit the nail on the head. I couldn't agree more.
 
2013-03-16 11:34:31 PM  

Mercury: BRB- going to kiss my birth control pills that allow me to not have children.


Im guessing it isnt the pills that allows this
 
2013-03-16 11:35:54 PM  

Smarshmallow: PsiChick:  I had undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome

How do you know this, if it hasn't been diagnosed?


I farted a lot today. I have undiagnosed colon cancer. Give me money.
 
2013-03-16 11:38:11 PM  

WanPhat: Kids makes noise.
Guy says "shhh"
Dad says he's autistic.
Shhh guy says he's sorry.

Story over, we're all cool, right?

How does this result in full-length story and a 7 page thread?


Well first, it was a mom, not a dad, but second, we end up with a seven page thread because the mom is apparently also autistic and couldn't just accept the old man's apology and return to her dinner.  She was winding up a lecture and the old man cut her off, ruining her evening because she didn't get to give the old man an earful of how important and special her child is.

The entire article boils down to the author being a grade-a biatch because she wasn't allowed to lecture a man who had already apologized.  Also, reading between the lines, her child was misbehaving badly enough to affect other diners, but since it wasn't, in her opinion, excessive, she didn't think it was an issue.  It's possible she was correct, but considering the old man apologized readily once learning the child was autistic, I'm going to make the educated guess that the kid was being a complete ass and the mom was not at all dealing with it, and now is writing an article simply to make herself feel better.

Again, not sure the autism apple fell far from the tree there.
 
2013-03-16 11:39:53 PM  

Dr. Whoof: WanPhat: Kids makes noise.
Guy says "shhh"
Dad says he's autistic.
Shhh guy says he's sorry.

Story over, we're all cool, right?

How does this result in full-length story and a 7 page thread?

Well first, it was a mom, not a dad, but second, we end up with a seven page thread because the mom is apparently also autistic and couldn't just accept the old man's apology and return to her dinner.  She was winding up a lecture and the old man cut her off, ruining her evening because she didn't get to give the old man an earful of how important and special her child is.

The entire article boils down to the author being a grade-a biatch because she wasn't allowed to lecture a man who had already apologized.  Also, reading between the lines, her child was misbehaving badly enough to affect other diners, but since it wasn't, in her opinion, excessive, she didn't think it was an issue.  It's possible she was correct, but considering the old man apologized readily once learning the child was autistic, I'm going to make the educated guess that the kid was being a complete ass and the mom was not at all dealing with it, and now is writing an article simply to make herself feel better.

Again, not sure the autism apple fell far from the tree there.


While I agree with most of what you say, I feel your post is slightly insulting to people who have autism.

The mother wasn't autistic; she was just a self-centred, narcissistic biatch.
 
2013-03-16 11:40:35 PM  

WhippingBoy: I don't get it.

We have two "special needs" children. The algorithm for dealing with them is fairly simple:

1. We only eat out at "family" or kid-friendly restaurants (if we want to go some place fancy, we get a babysitter)
2. If our kids start acting up (which they sometimes do), we attempt to calm them down and control the situation
3. If we can't get control in a very short time interval (less than 5 minutes), either myself or my wife will remove the child from the restaurant (outside or to the car)
4. If the child calms down, we return to the restaurant
5. If the child does not calm down, we spend some time in the car, and then eat our (doggie-bagged) meals when we get home

Our kids are "different"; we can't live our lives like a "typical" family. That's just the way it is. I don't see any problem with that.

Whoever said that "this 'everything for everyone' attitude is ruining humanity" hit the nail on the head. I couldn't agree more.


Wait, what? Your kids are probably going to grow up normal and fit right in with the rest of society. What kind of monster parents are you???
 
2013-03-16 11:47:47 PM  
Austism is just a made up disease used to cover for the parent's inability or unwillingness to disciple their little crotchfruits.
 
2013-03-16 11:48:40 PM  

WhippingBoy: Smarshmallow: PsiChick:  I had undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome

How do you know this, if it hasn't been diagnosed?

I farted a lot today. I have undiagnosed colon cancer. Give me money.


But you can't help it, so it's OK! You should sit in a restaurant next to the folks in this thread who believe that people have a licence to do what they want, where they want, simply because they can't help it. I'm sure they wouldn't mind in the slightest. If they turn their nose up at the stench while they are trying to enjoy their meal, make sure you remind them how heartless they are.
 
2013-03-16 11:49:16 PM  

WhippingBoy: While I agree with most of what you say, I feel your post is slightly insulting to people who have autism.

The mother wasn't autistic; she was just a self-centred, narcissistic biatch.


Can you be sure of that?  Because based on the article, she sounds like she may have undiagnosed mild autism herself.  She can't seem to understand what's acceptable public behavior and what isn't.  She clearly couldn't tell her son was being disruptive.  And autism, or the risk for autism, is inheritable.

So, no, basically I'm insulting this author and suggesting they get themselves checked out, as I would forgive them completely for their ignorance and need to drive home a point with a person who had already apologized if they were themselves autistic...but if not, then yest, they are a self-centered, narcissistic biatch who will likely raise an autistic child at a far lower functional level than the child deserves.
 
2013-03-16 11:54:22 PM  

Smarshmallow: PsiChick:  I had undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome

How do you know this, if it hasn't been diagnosed?


The word 'had' is past tense. It was diagnosed around eighteen or so. I have Asperger's, but I don't usually display symptoms anymore, and I wasn't displaying a lot at diagnosis, because my mother taught me a lot of what I was missing. I only had to work for a few months to bump up past 'Asperger's' to just 'weirdo' territory.
 
2013-03-16 11:56:20 PM  
Jeez, lady. He said he was sorry. And then you couldn't let it drop. You had to go on, so he got snitty. And here you are not letting drop and going on again.
 
2013-03-16 11:56:27 PM  

SpaceBison: Austism is just a made up disease used to cover for the parent's inability or unwillingness to disciple their little crotchfruits.


Tell us more, Dr. SpaceBIson. Want to explain how schizophrenics really just have a different view of the world, and depressives just need more vitamins and exercise?
 
2013-03-16 11:56:48 PM  

Dr. Whoof: WhippingBoy: While I agree with most of what you say, I feel your post is slightly insulting to people who have autism.

The mother wasn't autistic; she was just a self-centred, narcissistic biatch.

Can you be sure of that?  Because based on the article, she sounds like she may have undiagnosed mild autism herself.  She can't seem to understand what's acceptable public behavior and what isn't.  She clearly couldn't tell her son was being disruptive.  And autism, or the risk for autism, is inheritable.

So, no, basically I'm insulting this author and suggesting they get themselves checked out, as I would forgive them completely for their ignorance and need to drive home a point with a person who had already apologized if they were themselves autistic...but if not, then yest, they are a self-centered, narcissistic biatch who will likely raise an autistic child at a far lower functional level than the child deserves.


The thing is, I'm starting to realize how much of my life I've wasted being "open minded". I don't care what her issue is. It's HER problem. Not mine.
 
2013-03-17 12:07:34 AM  

WhippingBoy: The thing is, I'm starting to realize how much of my life I've wasted being "open minded". I don't care what her issue is. It's HER problem. Not mine.


Indeed it is.  And if we were in the restaurant with her and not on a discussion board, I think we both would have told her to stick her lecture up her ass.

My primary issue with her is that she knows NOTHING about the man in the restaurant.  She told him that the kid was autistic and he apologized...to try to explain more is being patronizing.  She deserved the shaming and maybe should accept that people are bright enough to know what "autistic" means.  Quite honestly, she's lucky he didn't tell her to shut her cock holster and go sit down, considering at that point both her and her son were ruining his dinner.
 
2013-03-17 12:10:40 AM  

Gyrfalcon: WhippingBoy: I don't get it.

We have two "special needs" children. The algorithm for dealing with them is fairly simple:

1. We only eat out at "family" or kid-friendly restaurants (if we want to go some place fancy, we get a babysitter)
2. If our kids start acting up (which they sometimes do), we attempt to calm them down and control the situation
3. If we can't get control in a very short time interval (less than 5 minutes), either myself or my wife will remove the child from the restaurant (outside or to the car)
4. If the child calms down, we return to the restaurant
5. If the child does not calm down, we spend some time in the car, and then eat our (doggie-bagged) meals when we get home

Our kids are "different"; we can't live our lives like a "typical" family. That's just the way it is. I don't see any problem with that.

Whoever said that "this 'everything for everyone' attitude is ruining humanity" hit the nail on the head. I couldn't agree more.

Wait, what? Your kids are probably going to grow up normal and fit right in with the rest of society. What kind of monster parents are you???


I hope they do grow up normal. And I'm optimistic that they will, because, as their father, I have to be.

However, if by some chance they *don't*, then they don't get some of the nice things that "typical" members of society get.

Whoever said that "everyone is equal" needs a level-5 cock-punch.
 
2013-03-17 12:12:37 AM  

Popcorn Johnny: You don't get a free pass to disturb others in public places just because you have a disability.



This ^^^^^
 
2013-03-17 12:19:54 AM  

BumpInTheNight: Earlier this year, I was out to dinner with a friend and our combined eight kids.

Two adults vs 8 eights and some of them with special needs.  Unless its chucky cheese, you are assholes.  No, no arguments, you are assholes.


I was a little on the fence until I saw that part. Can you imagine that crowd at the movies? C'mon now, they cant possibly wait until Saw 5000 has a "special kid showing," or HEAVEN FORBID they wait until it comes out on DVD?
 
2013-03-17 12:20:24 AM  
I'm late to the party on this one, but here it goes...

In a public situation where you (or your dependent) disturb someone and get scolded for it, there are actually two assholes involved:
1. You
2. Them
 
2013-03-17 12:27:29 AM  

Frederick: I'm going to side with the mother in this instance.  Although not all the information is in the article, a hamburger and fries are mentioned and I'll infer from that a fast food place.  Also early morning is mentioned along with very few patrons.  I will again infer the mom has done her diligence in minimizing the impact of her kid on the community.

This typifies the fine line between the need for tolerance and consideration.  It's a judgment call.  I'd like to think an elder gentleman would be the type to seek the high ground in that circumstance.  If the mother and kid were crossing the line into inconsideration, I'd like to think she would recognize it and take appropriate steps.


wanna know how I know you didn't read the article?
 
2013-03-17 12:29:05 AM  
Came here for scantily clad pics of Jenny McCarthy.

/Leaving disappointed.
 
2013-03-17 12:35:42 AM  

andychrist420: Frederick: I'm going to side with the mother in this instance.  Although not all the information is in the article, a hamburger and fries are mentioned and I'll infer from that a fast food place.  Also early morning is mentioned along with very few patrons.  I will again infer the mom has done her diligence in minimizing the impact of her kid on the community.

This typifies the fine line between the need for tolerance and consideration.  It's a judgment call.  I'd like to think an elder gentleman would be the type to seek the high ground in that circumstance.  If the mother and kid were crossing the line into inconsideration, I'd like to think she would recognize it and take appropriate steps.

wanna know how I know you didn't read the article?


yes, I would
 
2013-03-17 12:36:37 AM  

Mikey1969: cptjeff: Mikey1969: cptjeff: Mikey1969: I've seen plenty of autistic and Down's Syndrome people out and about, and if you're so farking precious that you can't handle sitting in the same restaurant as them, you really aren't ready for big-people restaurants.

Seriously, if the kid isn't banging you on the head with tableware, you really SHOULD be able to cope. It's not that hard.

Whole Foods had a point about food contamination, but the security guard was completely out of line and deserved to lose his job. Way too many assholes out there who think tat everyone needs to conform to THEIR particular set of standards, and think that they get to dictate who comes into a restaurant or store merely because THEY are in attendance.

In other words, I hate people.

Which is good, because thinking people hate you.

Jesus. That's the best you can come up with? You need to go back to rebuttal 101, you suck at this.

The problem is that I'm tired and haven't eaten yet, and there was too much stupid packed into your post for me to bother with any sort of real response.

Well, that's marginally better, but it has the ring of group participation to it, as if you got a whole room of morons to help you craft it.


Look, as much as you may want to get into a flame war, I make it a policy to not fight against unarmed opponents. Grow a brain first, then get back to me.
 
2013-03-17 12:36:39 AM  

rugman11: PunGent: I was sympathetic until page 2, when she admitted taking an uncontrollably loud autistic into a movie theater.

That's different than a restaurant, you entitled cow.

Our local theatre has started introducing special showings for the "differently abled."  They keep the house lights up a little more and the sound down a little bit, while also allowing kids to move around and make noise.  They've apparently gotten good feedback.

http://www.kansas.com/2012/11/14/2556527/warren-to-screen-movie-for- ki ds.html


Now that's an excellent idea. Have "differently abled" nights at movies, family-friendly restaurants, etc. Everybody wins!
 
2013-03-17 12:37:39 AM  

4seasons85!: With all do respect I disagree with you. All illnesses are from a physical origin.


I will take issue with that, but it comes down to how you define illness and origin.

You can take young person who's 100% healthy, and by words alone(or rather, external stimuli), raise them in such a manner as they will have some severe psychological issues.  Many would deem that an illness, and a nonphysical origin, Ie no malformations of the brain or biological systems were involved with the creation of the illness.

Sure, the brain is based on a physical body and stores memories via chemicals and such, but the origin is not, as you seem to imply, from some malformation or abnormality in the brain, only the external input.

You can create a virtual retard or psychopath, based on how you raise a child.

That's the root of the nature vs nurture debate, which in general, either, or both, can be a heavy influence.

The problem is determining the actual cause of such states as retardation or psychopathy.  There is only so much we can actually examine physically, and even less of the past interaction that we can actually know.

We do know external stimuli can overload the brain and cause severe problems, both in the short term and the long term.  We also know that concrete physical differences can be irrevocable, even if a very mild divergence from the norm is had.

/don't anyone get riled that I say "retard", it's a vague word meant with no malice
//unless you are a retard and the shoe happens to fit, in which case, sorry about your luck
 
2013-03-17 12:41:32 AM  

Frederick: oh_please: Frederick: Although not all the information is in the article, a hamburger and fries are mentioned and I'll infer from that a fast food place. Also early morning is mentioned along with very few patrons.

You didn't read the article at all, did you?

I read page one of two, not realizing it was two pages.  What did I miss?


Well, right on the first page it says that they went to a casual restaurant, where one sits down and has food delivered to their table and, it was Thursday at 6pm.  They do serve burgers and fries at a variety of establishments.
 
2013-03-17 12:45:50 AM  

Gyrfalcon: SpaceBison: Austism is just a made up disease used to cover for the parent's inability or unwillingness to disciple their little crotchfruits.

Tell us more, Dr. SpaceBIson. Want to explain how schizophrenics really just have a different view of the world, and depressives just need more vitamins and exercise?


What do schizos and depressed people have to do with being a spoiled brat?
 
2013-03-17 12:51:53 AM  

SpaceBison: Gyrfalcon: SpaceBison: Austism is just a made up disease used to cover for the parent's inability or unwillingness to disciple their little crotchfruits.

Tell us more, Dr. SpaceBIson. Want to explain how schizophrenics really just have a different view of the world, and depressives just need more vitamins and exercise?

What do schizos and depressed people have to do with being a spoiled brat?


I have no idea, but why did you feel the need to make this discussion about you?
 
2013-03-17 12:53:20 AM  

chrylis: SpaceBison: Gyrfalcon: SpaceBison: Austism is just a made up disease used to cover for the parent's inability or unwillingness to disciple their little crotchfruits.

Tell us more, Dr. SpaceBIson. Want to explain how schizophrenics really just have a different view of the world, and depressives just need more vitamins and exercise?

What do schizos and depressed people have to do with being a spoiled brat?

I have no idea, but why did you feel the need to make this discussion about you?


"funniest"
 
2013-03-17 12:57:15 AM  

WhippingBoy: I don't get it.

We have two "special needs" children. The algorithm for dealing with them is fairly simple:

1. We only eat out at "family" or kid-friendly restaurants (if we want to go some place fancy, we get a babysitter)
2. If our kids start acting up (which they sometimes do), we attempt to calm them down and control the situation
3. If we can't get control in a very short time interval (less than 5 minutes), either myself or my wife will remove the child from the restaurant (outside or to the car)
4. If the child calms down, we return to the restaurant
5. If the child does not calm down, we spend some time in the car, and then eat our (doggie-bagged) meals when we get home

Our kids are "different"; we can't live our lives like a "typical" family. That's just the way it is. I don't see any problem with that.

Whoever said that "this 'everything for everyone' attitude is ruining humanity" hit the nail on the head. I couldn't agree more.


This is a great way of giving special needs kids proper interaction/enjoyable activites(and also, enjoyable time for the family) while respecting the rights of others to enjoy their meals/activities.

Unfortunately, people with special needs kids are dealt a difficult hand, but planning ahead improves the situation for all.an d hopefully occasionally you guys can get a babysitter9much more difficult for special needs) and have a night to yourselves
 
2013-03-17 12:57:35 AM  

Cup_O_Jo: tallguywithglasseson: Cup_O_Jo: Lumping mental retardation in with physical handicapped people is demeaning.

To who?

To physically handicapped. It takes us back to the dark ages when polio patients,mentally retarded,and the like were locked away in the mental hospital which is 3rd complete different thing.


still happens
 
2013-03-17 12:58:03 AM  

Vector R: BumpInTheNight: Earlier this year, I was out to dinner with a friend and our combined eight kids.

Two adults vs 8 eights and some of them with special needs.  Unless its chucky cheese, you are assholes.  No, no arguments, you are assholes.

I was a little on the fence until I saw that part. Can you imagine that crowd at the movies? C'mon now, they cant possibly wait until Saw 5000 has a "special kid showing," or HEAVEN FORBID they wait until it comes out on DVD?


Why is ANYONE taking their kids to some of the movies out lately ffs? The number of small children I saw recently when we went to "Django Unchained" was appalling. Very small children, like, under ten. Do your kids really have to see that many buckets of blood before they reach their teens?
 
2013-03-17 01:02:39 AM  

octopied: WhippingBoy: I don't get it.

We have two "special needs" children. The algorithm for dealing with them is fairly simple:

1. We only eat out at "family" or kid-friendly restaurants (if we want to go some place fancy, we get a babysitter)
2. If our kids start acting up (which they sometimes do), we attempt to calm them down and control the situation
3. If we can't get control in a very short time interval (less than 5 minutes), either myself or my wife will remove the child from the restaurant (outside or to the car)
4. If the child calms down, we return to the restaurant
5. If the child does not calm down, we spend some time in the car, and then eat our (doggie-bagged) meals when we get home

Our kids are "different"; we can't live our lives like a "typical" family. That's just the way it is. I don't see any problem with that.

Whoever said that "this 'everything for everyone' attitude is ruining humanity" hit the nail on the head. I couldn't agree more.

This is a great way of giving special needs kids proper interaction/enjoyable activites(and also, enjoyable time for the family) while respecting the rights of others to enjoy their meals/activities.

Unfortunately, people with special needs kids are dealt a difficult hand, but planning ahead improves the situation for all.an d hopefully occasionally you guys can get a babysitter9much more difficult for special needs) and have a night to yourselves


Even if we don't get a babysitter, it's no big deal. Take out food and the 50" widescreen with surround sound is not exactly claim to being "hard done by".
 
2013-03-17 01:10:11 AM  

hundreddollarman: UnspokenVoice: Chinchillazilla: He has been scowled at on airplanes, in movie theaters, in restaurants, and in bookstores. And I get it-I prefer a quiet airplane ride as much as the next person.

The thing is, you probably don't prefer quiet as much as I do. I have Asperger's, and part of that is that I have a really low tolerance for loud, high-pitched, and/or irregularly spaced noises. A loud crowd? I can deal. A single shrieking person? My ears will single that out for special attention. I am not capable of distracting myself from it. It can cause me to have a panic attack if I can't escape the source of the noise.

So what do I do in situations like this? Am I just screwed because my disability conflicts with the more severe disabilities of others?

You should carry a gun an AR-15.

FTFY


An AR-15 is a good idea BUT it means losing the surprise aspect. Perhaps a pair of Mk IIIs is a suitable compromise and one can always carry extra magazines.
 
2013-03-17 01:22:55 AM  

Ennuipoet: To be fair, it's getting might difficult to distinguish between the developmentally disabled and the genuine assholes.    Numerically speaking, there are many more genuine assholes, so perhaps we could the assholes wear a special hat or something.  Or a t-shirt reading "I possess all my mental faculties, I am just a dick."


they already wear a special hat. It's  the bavkwards ones.
 
2013-03-17 01:27:11 AM  

Radioactive Ass: Congrats. You just bit on a troll comment.

(rest deleted to save space)

My apologies for doing so.  Thanks for your full response.
 
2013-03-17 01:34:24 AM  

Hallows_Eve: True story- Our family with three kids was out a few years ago at restaurant, and across the aisle was another family, a mom with two kids. Those kids were all over the place, visiting other people's, crawling under them, screaming, squealing, shrieking, trying to trip the waitress, etc. Everyone knew those kids names because mom never bothered to get up and address the issues, she wanted to have grown up talk with her sister, so of course would stop every other sentence to repeat any or all of the kids names.

In the meantime, we picked our food. Dinner came and we ate our dinner. Made small talk, etc. Kids stayed in their seats, no screaming. You get the idea. This isn't to brag, I think it was just a lucky night for us. Anyhow we get the check and pay, and on the way out an old man, Marlon Brando Godfather looking literally grabs my arm from his table and pulls me toward him with an iron grip on my coat, surrounded by a few son looking types, temporarily worrying my husband. The old man whispered in my ear "Now you, YOU have nice behaved children". I thanked him and nodded to my husband all was okay.

What I didn't say was that two of my kids are high functioning autistics. Those other kids, though one could not be sure, were just under disciplined and their mom seemed to think she was entitled to her time. My kids have and occasionally still do act out with the right triggers, but as their mom, I don't expect the public to deal with it. One of us will take the kid outside, take a walk with them or a quick drive in the car. One can't predict all sudden panics, but we can at least know when situations are ripe to look for a better outlet. We do drive ins for movies and the occasional Mom's Movietime bit- where the lights are still on, volume is softer, babies are crying, and everyone is used to kids running about. We plan things out and talk about them with the kids, and our expectations of them so that there are no surprises as much as possible.

Not sure where I ...


This.

Autistic kids are not that hard to train. Neither are Down's kids, and neither are neurotypical 'normal' ones. But you do have to train them, just like you'd train a dog, and for much the same reasons. If I let a dog run over God's creation, peeing on everything and barking, growling and snapping at people, sooner or later somebody would shoot the dog or lock it up on Death Row at the shelter. In many states, we do the same with humans who were not trained to live in society. The primary difference is that the dogs in the shelter rape each other less.

If you have a kid and you love them, train them how to behave in society. If you do not know how, buy a book on dog training and skip the leash and collar-related bits. Really. That works on kids. It doesn't have to be fancy, eighth-level Miss Manners stuff, just 'inside voices' and 'stay close to your parent' covers 80% of it.
 
2013-03-17 01:53:17 AM  

UnspokenVoice: hundreddollarman: UnspokenVoice: Chinchillazilla: He has been scowled at on airplanes, in movie theaters, in restaurants, and in bookstores. And I get it-I prefer a quiet airplane ride as much as the next person.

The thing is, you probably don't prefer quiet as much as I do. I have Asperger's, and part of that is that I have a really low tolerance for loud, high-pitched, and/or irregularly spaced noises. A loud crowd? I can deal. A single shrieking person? My ears will single that out for special attention. I am not capable of distracting myself from it. It can cause me to have a panic attack if I can't escape the source of the noise.

So what do I do in situations like this? Am I just screwed because my disability conflicts with the more severe disabilities of others?

You should carry a gun an AR-15.

FTFY

An AR-15 is a good idea BUT it means losing the surprise aspect. Perhaps a pair of Mk IIIs is a suitable compromise and one can always carry extra magazines.


Good point. A handgun is more concealable, but if I'm going to carry a pistol, it wouldn't be a .22. I'd go with a 9mm, something like a Glock 26.
 
2013-03-17 02:10:16 AM  

SpiderQueenDemon: But you do have to train them, just like you'd train a dog, and for much the same reasons.


People will deny that and actively disbelieve it for the same excuses they deny evolution.  "We did not come from monkey's, god made us and we're special! Those tactics are for raising animals[said with as much disdain as possible]"

Fact is, we are animals.  We can, and have, learned a LOT from studying how other creatures develop, namely those animals that are born and mature and die at a much more rapid pace than we do, yet posses similar social groupings(ie mammals, specifically dogs and primates but many others).

Oddly enough, some of these things we've learned are because we can be a certain amount of "inhumane" to these other animals. Take pavlov's dogs for a prime example.  He an another were stopped from experimenting on human babies, but not before a direct similarity was noted in association.(Ie drooling at a dinner bell)

Funny, in a way.  We can't hardly study humans, because they age at the same rate we do, and it's inhumane.  We find an alternative, and people like PETA try to stop even that.  We have zealots that think we're above animals, and zealots who think other animals are just as deserving.  What are we to do, sit here with our thumb up our butts?
 
2013-03-17 02:43:50 AM  

Radioactive Ass: jaylectricity: even though we had specifically decided to eat out at 6 on a Thursday night

Thursday is only a hair better than Friday, and 6pm is the exact time when everybody is there to eat.

Tuesday at 5 would be much better.

Yep. 6-8 pm is prime time seating in many restaurants. Go there early or go there late on Wed - Sun if you have a kid that you know can't control themselves. I shouldn't have to put up with your kids issues. You're the one who decided to have a kid and you lost the crap shoot on making a good one, them's the risks that you undertook and you have to pay the price when you lose. Not me.


My autistic son and I would go out to eat whenever we felt like it, secure in the knowledge that one or more of your children would be screaming/crying/throwing food and no one would notice my little wierdo.
 
2013-03-17 02:53:34 AM  

omeganuepsilon: SpiderQueenDemon: But you do have to train them, just like you'd train a dog, and for much the same reasons.

People will deny that and actively disbelieve it for the same excuses they deny evolution. "We did not come from monkey's, god made us and we're special! Those tactics are for raising animals[said with as much disdain as possible]"


Oddly enough, my experience has been that the fundamentalist type tends to discipline children effectively, while the more smug type of liberal tends to have entitled snowflakes.
 
2013-03-17 03:37:45 AM  
I will bite the trollbait this one time. I have a developmentally disabled child who is diagnosed with Asperger's. To childless, insensitive assholes FARK YOU. I deal with his behavior 24/7. Suck me dry. I don't get a vacation from this. I am going to eat out. I will kick your dinner into your face if you question my parenting abilities. I have absolutely had it with entitled assholes who think they do nothing wrong. I am going to movies with him. I love him. He isn't trying to be a distraction. He doesn't know all society's norms. I teach him as best I can. If you can't handle it, it's your problem.
 
2013-03-17 03:50:54 AM  

vice_magnet: I will bite the trollbait this one time. I have a developmentally disabled child who is diagnosed with Asperger's. To childless, insensitive assholes FARK YOU. I deal with his behavior 24/7. Suck me dry. I don't get a vacation from this. I am going to eat out. I will kick your dinner into your face if you question my parenting abilities. I have absolutely had it with entitled assholes who think they do nothing wrong. I am going to movies with him. I love him. He isn't trying to be a distraction. He doesn't know all society's norms. I teach him as best I can. If you can't handle it, it's your problem.


Sure, so why not punish the rest of society for your defective genes.
 
2013-03-17 04:01:48 AM  

vice_magnet: I will bite the trollbait this one time. I have a developmentally disabled child who is diagnosed with Asperger's. To childless, insensitive assholes FARK YOU. I deal with his behavior 24/7. Suck me dry. I don't get a vacation from this. I am going to eat out. I will kick your dinner into your face if you question my parenting abilities. I have absolutely had it with entitled assholes who think they do nothing wrong. I am going to movies with him. I love him. He isn't trying to be a distraction. He doesn't know all society's norms. I teach him as best I can. If you can't handle it, it's your problem.


Is it too late to SIDS the little bastard?  Get a babysitter if you want to go eat, or eat out at dennys, you self righteous pool of defective chromosomes.
 
2013-03-17 04:04:29 AM  

ruetheday69: Cup_O_Jo: tallguywithglasseson: Cup_O_Jo: Lumping mental retardation in with physical handicapped people is demeaning.

To who?

To physically handicapped. It takes us back to the dark ages when polio patients,mentally retarded,and the like were locked away in the mental hospital which is 3rd complete different thing.

Yup. Exactly this. I am hearing impaired and have been since my teens. I get a lot of bullshiat from people and lots of weird looks and since i am not 'typical' deaf as in nonverbal and sign language people are very confused and generally treat me like I have a mental disability.


Me too actually, since elementary school people have assumed that hearing aids meant I was retarded (their words). it always sucked.
 
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