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(The New York Times)   How beer gave us civilization. Step one: by being delicious. Step two: by being alcoholic. Step three: there is no step three. Steps one and two were enough   (nytimes.com) divider line 88
    More: Spiffy, Eastern Mediterranean, domestications, cultures  
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4750 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2013 at 8:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-15 05:45:01 PM  
 
2013-03-15 05:59:12 PM  
Step 3 is encouraging people to have even more sex.
 
2013-03-15 06:59:59 PM  
Step 3: Was it was safer than the water.

Then Step 4:  more sex.
 
2013-03-15 08:24:56 PM  
bier ist gut

i pity the poor so-called civilizations that spurn the beer and the pork

they must lead lives of sad, desperate sobriety.

/has a sad for humanity
//has beer in the fridge waiting at home
///has slashies
 
2013-03-15 08:25:13 PM  

Fear_and_Loathing: Step 3: Was it was safer than the water.

Then Step 4:  more sex.


Step 5.- We invented this method to keep beer from spoiling so quickly... We also believe it might help us preserve milk, so whatever.

Step 6: more sex
 
2013-03-15 08:25:46 PM  
Zymurgy: First science in history, last in the dictionary
 
2013-03-15 08:26:18 PM  

Fear_and_Loathing: Step 3: Was it was safer than the water.


This. I can't believe TFA didn't mention that part. When you live in large cities with poor sanitation booze becomes crucial. It also explains why American Indians generally don't tolerate alcohol well.
 
2013-03-15 08:27:34 PM  

fusillade762: Fear_and_Loathing: Step 3: Was it was safer than the water.

This. I can't believe TFA didn't mention that part. When you live in large cities with poor sanitation booze becomes crucial. It also explains why American Indians generally don't tolerate alcohol well.


Also, the pilgrims didn't trust water, but they didn't bring beer with them (they drank it, I guess), so they made beer... With acorn.
 
2013-03-15 08:28:15 PM  
files.abovetopsecret.com
 
2013-03-15 08:28:41 PM  
Some of you farkers may not agree with me, but I'm going to go out on a limb with this one. Consequences be damned...

I love beer.
 
2013-03-15 08:30:00 PM  

fusillade762: Fear_and_Loathing: Step 3: Was it was safer than the water.

This. I can't believe TFA didn't mention that part. When you live in large cities with poor sanitation booze becomes crucial. It also explains why American Indians generally don't tolerate alcohol well.


but that doesn't explain the irish
 
2013-03-15 08:31:22 PM  

fusillade762: Fear_and_Loathing: Step 3: Was it was safer than the water.

This. I can't believe TFA didn't mention that part. When you live in large cities with poor sanitation booze becomes crucial. It also explains why American Indians generally don't tolerate alcohol well.


yeah, kind of shocked that the article missed the entire major reason beer was important to early civilization.

Potable water that can be stored.  Brewing and fermentation eliminates water-borne pathogens.
 
2013-03-15 08:33:48 PM  
Porter and stout, bourbon and whiskey, are the best things in life
 
2013-03-15 08:35:04 PM  

Albert911emt: Porter and stout, bourbon and whiskey, are the best things in life


Conan/Genghis Khan do not agree.
 
2013-03-15 08:35:40 PM  

crotchgrabber: Some of you farkers may not agree with me, but I'm going to go out on a limb with this one. Consequences be damned...

I love beer.


This.
 
2013-03-15 08:36:39 PM  
Delicious? Really?
 
2013-03-15 08:37:45 PM  
alcohol : because without it we are left facing our meaningless pointless lives & we just can't farkin handle that when we're trying to relax & be happy. oh and it gives an excuse to express emotions.
 
2013-03-15 08:38:47 PM  
FTA: Luckily, from time to time, our ancestors, like other animals, would run across fermented fruit or grain and sample it. How this accidental discovery evolved into the first keg party, of course, is still unknown. But evolve it did, perhaps as early as 10,000 years ago.

If you ignore the Sumerian texts from that era, claiming 'gods' from the sky taught them how to make beer along with many other things, yes, it remains a mystery.
 
2013-03-15 08:39:48 PM  

J. Frank Parnell: FTA: Luckily, from time to time, our ancestors, like other animals, would run across fermented fruit or grain and sample it. How this accidental discovery evolved into the first keg party, of course, is still unknown. But evolve it did, perhaps as early as 10,000 years ago.

If you ignore the Sumerian texts from that era, claiming 'gods' from the sky taught them how to make beer along with many other things, yes, it remains a mystery.


The truth: Time-traveling college kids.
 
2013-03-15 08:41:35 PM  

CygnusDarius: Albert911emt: Porter and stout, bourbon and whiskey, are the best things in life

Conan/Genghis Khan do not agree.


Sorry, I forgot the rest...

Addendum: Porter and stout, bourbon and whiskey....aaaand to crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of the women.
 
2013-03-15 08:42:59 PM  

dg41: Delicious? Really?


If the beer or ale you are drinking is not delicious- your are drinking the wrong kind
 
2013-03-15 08:44:11 PM  
 
2013-03-15 08:44:39 PM  

Albert911emt: CygnusDarius: Albert911emt: Porter and stout, bourbon and whiskey, are the best things in life

Conan/Genghis Khan do not agree.

Sorry, I forgot the rest...

Addendum: Porter and stout, bourbon and whiskey....aaaand to crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of the women.


- sticking dick in stuff
- picking scabs
- your sports team wins
 
2013-03-15 08:45:30 PM  

dg41: Delicious? Really?


Yes. Really.

If you do not think it is delicious, you need to go back and get an adult sense of taste. Check back in with us when you do.
 
2013-03-15 08:47:11 PM  
www.ia-stud.hiof.no
 
2013-03-15 08:47:38 PM  

whistleridge: dg41: Delicious? Really?

Yes. Really.

If you do not think it is delicious, you need to go back and get an adult sense of taste. Check back in with us when you do.


you're only a grown up when you drink the right kind of booze. you're only good enough if you smoke the same cigarettes at me.
 
2013-03-15 08:54:36 PM  
When is belligerent fake irish asshole that beats his wife and kids day?

Every day.
 
2013-03-15 08:55:41 PM  

beer4breakfast: How Beer Saved the World


Yeah, my thought exactly.  Some dude watched "How Beer Saved the World" on Netflix and plagiarized the shiat out of it for a column.
 
2013-03-15 09:00:13 PM  
The Beer Theory is nothing new, but continues to be frothy and delicious.
 
2013-03-15 09:02:40 PM  
I like almost all beers. But I LOVE Belgian Golden/Dubbel/Tripel/Quad/Dark Strong, and Baltic Porters.  If any of you Boston area farkers could PLEASE send me a Jack's Abbey Framinghammer  Baltic Porter aged in the Bourbon barrel I would love you so much....
 
2013-03-15 09:02:52 PM  

Doc Daneeka: fusillade762: Fear_and_Loathing: Step 3: Was it was safer than the water.

This. I can't believe TFA didn't mention that part. When you live in large cities with poor sanitation booze becomes crucial. It also explains why American Indians generally don't tolerate alcohol well.

yeah, kind of shocked that the article missed the entire major reason beer was important to early civilization.

Potable water that can be stored.  Brewing and fermentation eliminates water-borne pathogens.


because the author of the article is making a booze article on the Eve of saint Pats day and wanted to get a anti booze dig in at the end of the article. their mention that the primative booze wasn't very strong is like a baptist say that Jesus turned water into grape juice.

On the tour I give of the brewery, when I am explaining the malt, I go into a little story about all this stuff. always get laughs and applause when I get to the point, or punchline.

Im of the school of thought, that beer was an accidental discovery that begat early man coming up with the crazy idea of agriculture after somebody left a earthen jar of primative bread out in the rain, and they made the cave man who farked up the food to drink the nasty, stanky foamy water in the bread jar.

he saw that it was a good thing and called out to his fellow cave men " HEY! y'all gotta get on this!" so they did, and a GRAND ole time was had around the camp fire that night.

and as one is want to do, hanging around a camp fire, late at night..

drunk.

one is liable to come up with crazy ideas, and one of those crazy ideas was to figure out that the plants come from the seeds, and if we put the seeds in the dirt, then plants will come up and make more seeds, and since we know where they are now, we wont have to hunt around all over creation looking for the damn things.

so they did, and created agriculture, some cavemen were better at growing stuff than killing stuff, so those folks traded with each other. and from there you start to develop commerce.
the beers was safer to drink than water, extend the usability of the crop itself, and was used as currency. and worshiped as a gift from the gods, and the beer gods were the most important gods of all!

eventually these people, centralized, not having to work as hard to gather resources formed villages, communities and civilization itself which begats the most critical invention in the development of man kind to who we are today...

leisure time.

because if you have leisure time, this frees you up to come up with crazy ideas..

while drunk... maybe

like.. critical thinking, philosophy, engineering, the arts.

thanks to beer.....
 
2013-03-15 09:09:43 PM  
i heard the original bread yeast was created by a woman sticking her finger in her snatch & then kneading the dough. behold the goddess of the wonder bread!
 
2013-03-15 09:13:09 PM  
Now you know how we managed to see past the neanderthal looks long enough to breed them out.

"Grog get last beer! Grog taking one for team."

Beer is also how cavemen convinced each other "fire badGOOD!"
 
2013-03-15 09:14:28 PM  
afterthought..

I wonder if the invention of beer, and the eventuality of running out of it one night at 4am, lead to the realization of the number zero concept?
 
2013-03-15 09:18:48 PM  
Yawn. Some day we're going to have evidence that cannabis expands consciousness. Until then, I'll continue doing my own, um, research.
 
2013-03-15 09:26:59 PM  
Beer snob thread on a Friday? Sweet action.  Drinking 4 hands warhammer DIPA.
 
2013-03-15 09:27:02 PM  
Are there people who seriously think beer is "delicious?" To me, the variations in flavor range from "foul" to "tolerable but nasty," to "just tolerable." Though I do like the aroma of Lowenbrau.
 
2013-03-15 09:27:42 PM  
Glad others have commented as well-
The real issue is that it allowed for people to drink in cities. Otherwise, we'd still be small roaming tribes since any big gathering of humans into cities would kill off everyone with waterborn diseases.

"People got drunk so they relaxed more" seems like a way lower priority. Not to mention a very Elizabethan Euro-centric point of view of sociology.
 
2013-03-15 09:28:02 PM  

bugontherug: Are there people who seriously think beer is "delicious?" To me, the variations in flavor range from "foul" to "tolerable but nasty," to "just tolerable." Though I do like the aroma of Lowenbrau.


some people also like coffee. some people also like licorice. some people like semen. its a mad mad mad world.
 
2013-03-15 09:28:40 PM  
i approve. also, i am drinking some beer right now. mmmm...beer
 
2013-03-15 09:29:06 PM  

OceanVortex: Glad others have commented as well-
The real issue is that it allowed for people to drink in cities. Otherwise, we'd still be small roaming tribes since any big gathering of humans into cities would kill off everyone with waterborn diseases.


How does this work since alcohol dehydrates you?
 
2013-03-15 09:31:08 PM  

Clock Spider Jerusalem: bugontherug: Are there people who seriously think beer is "delicious?" To me, the variations in flavor range from "foul" to "tolerable but nasty," to "just tolerable." Though I do like the aroma of Lowenbrau.

some people also like coffee. some people also like licorice. some people like semen. its a mad mad mad world.


I like both coffee and some flavors of licorice. I would describe neither as "delicious." That's a word I reserve for rare, special dishes.
 
2013-03-15 09:31:26 PM  
A whole lot of conjecture. I"ll...... go with the "drinkable liquid" option.
 
2013-03-15 09:31:50 PM  

tedbundee: Yawn. Some day we're going to have evidence that cannabis expands consciousness. Until then, I'll continue doing my own, um, research.


we already have that... and beer is related to that as well..

cannabis and Hops are botanical cousins...

but pot cant be used as a hop directly in brewing, and hops wont get you high like pot..

our modern notion of the Halloween witch is rooted in the old midevil ale wives. who, along with being the community beer makers were also the herbologists, the apothocariasts, and healers. if they had access to pot, they knew what to do with it. and it, along a whole assortment of differnt herbs and roots what have you have been well known and them, along with alcohol have always been used religiously, and ritualistically for humans to expand their awareness.

if humans are really good at ANYTHING, it is altering thier sense of reality. every single culture on this planet has traditional ways of getting farked up. from native hooch to native herb.

the author of the article hinted at that tribalism, but painted it over in opinion to make a anti booze screed at the end of the piece...

by the way, you can use pot in brewing, but you gotta use it as a dry hop on the secondary side to extract any THC because in the boil, there is nothing for the THC to bind to and you end up with a beer that tastes like bong water. but on the secondary side, THC is soluable in alcohol, so you will get extraction, and you will pick up some flavor of the nug but cook it off into a vegetable tasty nastiness..

or.. so I've heard...
 
2013-03-15 09:31:51 PM  
I can understand how brewing beer led to bread.

Vice versa, not so much!
 
2013-03-15 09:34:12 PM  

bugontherug: OceanVortex: Glad others have commented as well-
The real issue is that it allowed for people to drink in cities. Otherwise, we'd still be small roaming tribes since any big gathering of humans into cities would kill off everyone with waterborn diseases.

How does this work since alcohol dehydrates you?


Most of the time they were drinking "small beer" - i.e. low in alcohol. It was considered safe for women and children, and landowners could give it to their fieldhands without worrying about drunkenness.
 
2013-03-15 09:35:48 PM  

crotchgrabber: Some of you farkers may not agree with me, but I'm going to go out on a limb with this one. Consequences be damned...

I love beer.


"I Like Beer," Tom T. Hall
 
2013-03-15 09:42:47 PM  

bugontherug: OceanVortex: Glad others have commented as well-
The real issue is that it allowed for people to drink in cities. Otherwise, we'd still be small roaming tribes since any big gathering of humans into cities would kill off everyone with waterborn diseases.

How does this work since alcohol dehydrates you?


I was going to argue this, but I checked on the internet and some site told me that for every 200 ml of beer I consume I'll produce 320 ml of urine. Third beer of the night and I'm due for the second giant piss pretty soon.

Mostly though, waterbourne diseases are not the issue for us modern humans; waterbourne parasites are. Short reason; because we've eliminated our friendly parasites... drinking unpurified water is a bad idea.

Mostly Alxohol was a social lubricant though, which is why it led to cities. Sit in the desert with your sheep picking smegma from your foreskin or trade a couple sheep for a gourd full of booze and a roll with a diseased prostitute? Hmm...
 
2013-03-15 10:01:54 PM  
Fact: Mankind learned from animals that eating fermented fruit laying on the ground would make you feel better (loopy).
Fact: Mankind perfected this animalistic discovery.
 
2013-03-15 10:05:34 PM  
 
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