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(The New York Times)   What's on your nightstand? A good book? A phone charger? Maybe your 3-hp electric vibrator?   (nytimes.com) divider line 217
    More: Interesting, National Sleep Foundation, Connecticut College, Good Vibrations, art collectors, sleep apnea, Pew Research  
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13541 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2013 at 6:37 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-15 06:59:34 PM
Timmy the Tumor

Simply measure the current draw (lets say 5 amps) times the line voltage (120 volts North America) to get watts , in this example, 600. Convert watts to HP (745 watts to 1 HP) for about .8 horsepower for a five amp draw.  3 HP is close to the 20 Amps most newer houses use for the breaker for a circuit. You could run the risk of  the breaker popping before the ,uh, "user".
 
2013-03-15 07:00:10 PM

Dr_Gene: You named your nose 'Jesus'?


Scuze me, I gotta blow Jesus.
 
2013-03-15 07:00:35 PM

Timmy the Tumor: how exactly does one measure the horsepower of an electric vibrator?


You put it on a dyno, duh.
 
2013-03-15 07:00:50 PM

Snotnose: Dr_Gene: You named your nose 'Jesus'?

Scuze me, I gotta blow Jesus.


lel!
 
2013-03-15 07:02:32 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-15 07:03:17 PM
The wife's main vibe doesn't fit in the nightstand. She has to keep it under the bed.
/true story
//hitachi, baby
 
2013-03-15 07:03:46 PM

Satanic panic in the attic: 3 HP? Do you have a VFD with it it to ramp it up? Or do you just ram rod it across the line?


It is an industrial model fed from  a 20 amp 220 volt dedicated branch circuit, so even with inrush current she still stays hot.
That is if 746 watts still equals 1 horsepower.
 
TWX
2013-03-15 07:05:23 PM
From the headline, "Maybe your 3-hp electric vibrator?"

O.o

I don't see how this is possible. My air compressor out in the shop is 3hp...
 
2013-03-15 07:06:36 PM
Telephone
CPAP
Lamp
Alarm clock
Old copies of Boy's Life
Velcro straps
His & hers electric vibrators
Double-headed dildo
Plastic wrap
 
2013-03-15 07:07:49 PM

TWX: From the headline, "Maybe your 3-hp electric vibrator?"

O.o

I don't see how this is possible. My air compressor out in the shop is 3hp...


Can't hotlink a pic cos I'll get a timeout. Let's just say "www.farkingmachines.com". And fix the filtered word first.
 
2013-03-15 07:09:58 PM
I've never had a nightstand, and I never will.

I think it's just one of those idiosyncrasies that shows how non lazy I am.

/park at the back of the lot and walk in a minute and a half before you do because you circle around it 9 times looking for the best spot.
//would never live in New Jersey because they don't let you pump your own gas. This is like telling me someone has to tie my own shoes.
 
2013-03-15 07:11:38 PM

AirForceVet: Telephone
CPAP
Lamp
Alarm clock
Old copies of Boy's Life
Velcro straps
His & hers electric vibrators
Double-headed dildo
Plastic wrap


Damn... And to think I used to sit in the cube next to you ;)
 
2013-03-15 07:11:51 PM
My vibrator is my nightstand.

/don't actually have either
//unless a laptop table with a laptop on it counts
///as a nightstand
 
2013-03-15 07:11:52 PM
...Maybe your 3-hp electric vibrator?


Malossi makes a kit for those?!?
 
2013-03-15 07:15:40 PM
Lamp, Kindle, clock, pistol safe w/ SA-45  loaded with hydra-shok.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-03-15 07:16:25 PM
Next to the 3 hp electric vibrator, a belt sander to take off the callus you get from using it.
 
2013-03-15 07:16:31 PM
Pot in pipe, pack of Marlboro/American Spirits or both, inhaler and computer.  Why have books when you can have a computer?  I have to keep the harder stuff out of the way of my puppy.  He already ate 20 Xanax of mine.  Did you know the Vet told me that Xanax could have an adverse effect on a dog, thus making him freakin' nuts for the rest of the day?
 
2013-03-15 07:17:32 PM

Propain_az: Lamp, Kindle, clock, pistol safe w/ SA-45  loaded with hydra-shok.


Meant SA XD-45.

/farking booze!
 
2013-03-15 07:18:05 PM
On top: rocks, candles, books, other stuff that has nowhere else to go, a bowl with more odds and ends, important papers, sometimes an iPod adapter with speakers, and dust.  Occasionally will keep a phone on there, if someone's in the hospital. I keep the alarm clock on the edge of the bed, so the snooze bar is within reach.

In the nightstand, however, are the "personal items" (vibrators, lube, etc.), usually wrapped up with the socks, bras and underwear, to hide their numbers. Also keep one under the pillow for those "only a few minutes" moments.
 
2013-03-15 07:19:23 PM
shake rattle and roll, baby
 
2013-03-15 07:20:40 PM
We have a parlor table, no drawers.  It has a lamp, an alarm clock, a box of tissues, and two stuffed woodpeckers that were sent to me by TFDers after we had an amusing woodpecker situation a couple years back.
 
2013-03-15 07:23:07 PM
A giant fan to keep cool and to drown on the sound of geese, also a red rider spring action BB gun for when the fan isn't enough to keep the geese noises out.
 
2013-03-15 07:23:12 PM
Since you've asked...

Various pens, a mini notebook, a bigger notebook, a legal pad, my alarm clock, a stack of books on the Civil War and modernization, a pile of receipts, keys, phone, and...that's about it. The stroke mags are in the bottom drawer with the sexy underpants.

/I keep airsoft guns in the top drawer
//Thieves can't tell it isn't real in the dark
///Applies equally to airsoft guns
 
2013-03-15 07:23:25 PM
Wacker makes the M3000 which is a 3.1 hp model that can be ordered with many different heads up to a 2 1/2" x 12" head.
But they call it a "Concrete vibrator"

Hmm.
 
2013-03-15 07:25:11 PM
Clock radio, lamp, books, remote for the electric Vietnamese spin fark chair, tissues...
 
2013-03-15 07:26:00 PM

Smeggy Smurf: Coaster, cat hair, empty cup, ass lube, athlete's foot cream, cat hair, bottle of wintergreen, wallet, cat hair, watch, spectacles, foot lotion, sunburn lotion, KY jelly, cat hair, cat, nail clippers, dagger, 3 books, cat hair, jewelry box, a lamp, Mrs. Smurf's panties on the lamp, 4 remotes and a couple ace bandages.

It's not a nightstand, it's a repurposed table.  With a cat bed under it.


I hate to tell you, but that's a repurposed cat bed that the cat graciously allows you to use as a table and why do you keep moving all the cat hair?
 
2013-03-15 07:26:27 PM

Ambivalence: A cpap and a clock radio. no room for anything else.


How's that working for you? I'm waiting on a prescription to calibrate a machine for my use. Was shocked to be diagnosed with severe apnea - looking forward to perhaps more productive sleep.
 
2013-03-15 07:27:57 PM

Satanic panic in the attic: 3 HP? Do you have a VFD with it it to ramp it up? Or do you just ram rod it across the line?


It's an across the line start. Better install better breakers.
 
2013-03-15 07:28:24 PM
Mine: Alarm clock
Hers: Baby monitor, phone, light, kleenex, books, doily, flashlight

/I hurt anything else that is left on mine when trying to turn off the alarm in the morning. Glasses/cell phone reside in the office.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-03-15 07:28:31 PM
two stuffed woodpeckers

I have stuffed things near my bed, but not technically on a nightstand.  I also have a bookshelf within reach of my bed.
 
2013-03-15 07:29:44 PM
garbage bags, duct tape, various passports, cash.
 
2013-03-15 07:30:31 PM
If I am sleep, alarm clock, my glasses and my phone and lamp.  Not sleeping, alarm clock, lamp.  In the drawers various marital aids.
 
2013-03-15 07:31:18 PM
In my house, we have only one bedside table, which now holds only an alarm clock and a book.  The 4-year-old and 2-year-old will make off with anything of value (e.g., a portable book lamp, spare change, a Tylenol bottle), and so we keep these objects on higher ground.

I do not understand why a preschooler and an old enough toddler don't know enough not to rummage through Mom and Dad's stuff. Don't people teach their little snowflakes the word "No" anymore?

I'm trying to fathom getting balls enough to rummage through my mother's bedroom at any age and it's simply not possible.

Geesh
 
2013-03-15 07:33:28 PM
I have multiple nightstands around my bed. Contents at night:

Laptop
DS
3DS
PSP
Vita
Light
Box Fan
Tablet (for reading, usually)
iPod Touch (for music almost exclusively and very quick email checks)
Alarm Clock
Cell Phone (a dumb phone because I don't need a data plan)
House Phone
Your mother's phone number
 
2013-03-15 07:37:05 PM
 
2013-03-15 07:38:21 PM

stoppit: Ambivalence: A cpap and a clock radio. no room for anything else.

How's that working for you? I'm waiting on a prescription to calibrate a machine for my use. Was shocked to be diagnosed with severe apnea - looking forward to perhaps more productive sleep.


Team CPAP here. it probably saved my life and my marriage.
 
2013-03-15 07:38:38 PM
I keep airsoft guns in the top drawer
//Thieves can't tell it isn't real in the dark
///Applies equally to airsoft guns


They sure as hell will be able to if you need to use it. This is a bad, bad idea. You'd be better off with bear spray or something then a toy that's not even a good club.
 
2013-03-15 07:39:32 PM
Subby's mom's Nightstand held this...

image.made-in-china.com
 
2013-03-15 07:39:32 PM

ZAZ: Next to the 3 hp electric vibrator, a belt sander to take off the callus you get from using it.


Why not combine the two?
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-15 07:40:39 PM
Phones (landline and smartphone)
Tissues
Nose spray
Sudoku book
Pen (otherwise the Sudoku book would be pretty useless, wouldn't it?)
Alarm clock
E-reader
 
2013-03-15 07:44:12 PM
  From what I was able to glean from Google, 3hp vibrators do in fact exist.  Seems they are meant to vibrate concrete, I assume to shake out air bubbles while it sets.  If you're interested, feel free to try it out and report back to the rest of fark on how well it works out for you.

http://www.whitecap.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?sto re Id=11301&urlLangId=-1&productId=50925&urlRequestType=Base&langId=-1&ca talogId=11101
 
2013-03-15 07:50:40 PM
I laughed at my bedside table this morning. Lube, empty beer bottle, valium.
 
2013-03-15 07:51:10 PM

drewogatory: I keep airsoft guns in the top drawer
//Thieves can't tell it isn't real in the dark
///Applies equally to airsoft guns

They sure as hell will be able to if you need to use it. This is a bad, bad idea. You'd be better off with bear spray or something then a toy that's not even a good club.


If it's dark in the house, the mere threat of a firearm is enough to make an intruder wet his pants. Or so I'm told by the NRA.

/Not an idiot
 
2013-03-15 07:52:05 PM
macaxeirageral.net.br
 
2013-03-15 07:53:48 PM
Nice try Subs! I don't even own a vibrator and even if I did I wouldn't leave it right there on the night stand. I'd at least have it hidden in a drawer or something right next to the warming lube.
 
2013-03-15 07:55:39 PM
Fleshlight, alarm clock, lube. Several sado-masochist homosexual devices (with blades). You know. For guests.
 
2013-03-15 07:56:29 PM
goldenageofmusicvideo.com

Put 220 on the money, honey!
 
2013-03-15 07:56:44 PM
I saw "bedside battleground" and wanted to see a bedside table with a Waterloo re-enactment taking place in miniature.

As for 3hp vibrators, they do stop your parents from wanting to see what's going on in your room!
 
2013-03-15 07:58:54 PM
CPAP and a lamp on top.

Condoms, lube in drawer. No vibrators. Wife is freaked out by them.
 
2013-03-15 08:00:08 PM

dahmers love zombie: TWX: From the headline, "Maybe your 3-hp electric vibrator?"

O.o

I don't see how this is possible. My air compressor out in the shop is 3hp...

Can't hotlink a pic cos I'll get a timeout. Let's just say "www.farkingmachines.com". And fix the filtered word first.


Used to have a free Kink.com account. Good times.
 
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