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(Yahoo)   Teen son on phone with boyfriend: "I'm going to tell my dad I'm gay." Dad writes: "I've known you were gay since you were six. Now go buy some orange juice"   (shine.yahoo.com) divider line 416
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23532 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2013 at 5:30 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-16 12:14:23 AM  

ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: cyberspacedout: Mike Chewbacca: I'm sorry, but did you just say that little boys can't get erections?

Perhaps unusual, but not impossible. I didn't until I was 11, and I didn't learn until I was much older that I had probably been in the minority there. Might have had something to do with hormone levels, might have been psychological, I don't know for sure - but things all worked out in the end.

Not unusual, not impossible. My mother in law is a nurse, so normal body stuff doesn't bother her to talk about, so she's made jokes about both my husband and his brother's discovery of their own body. A few people I've known have been surprised by their boys' arousal. I've known a few mothers who have little girls who get self-aware about their own bodies by 3-5 years old. Its a "touchy" subject to not make them ashamed of their sexuality.


Super common, in fact.

Alex, age 2, as his daddy was putting a fresh diaper: "Daddy crush big peepee?" (He was just putting on a diaper, nothing weird)
Jacob age 3, "Mommy, I'm going to go into the bathroom and play with my penis."
Zach, age 3, "Daddy,. sometimes my penis is big and sometimes my penis is small. I like it better when it's big."

Obviously I don't remember being 3, but my friends/family have told me the above anecdotes about their young sons, all in the last 10 years or so. Oh, and regarding Alex, when he was really little (2-ish) my buddy would give him a bath with his best friend's daughter Jessica, who lived next door. They were taking cutesy bathtime photos and ended up having to delete several because Alex had a baby boner. And that was the last time he got to bathe with Jessica.
 
2013-03-16 12:15:03 AM  

Talos: Hmmm...this is too obvious. I'm calling fake.


I call fake too.

/// wears the farkH8.com PROUDLY (the videos on that site are freaking AWESOME !!)
// wishes that this was the normal way fathers operated
/ Told my father I was bisexual and he told all my cousins I had HIV, class act asswipe
 
2013-03-16 12:16:36 AM  
Xandir: Mommy, daddy, I'm gay

Captain Hero: Well son, I know I speak for the both of us when I say...

Captain Hero & Toot: Uh, DUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH!!!!!
 
2013-03-16 12:18:22 AM  
Also (stolen from some previous thread).... Of all the things that never happened... This never happened the most.
 
2013-03-16 12:20:32 AM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: Mike Chewbacca: Mid_mo_mad_man: Agent Smiths Laugh: Mid_mo_mad_man: Agent Smiths Laugh: Mid_mo_mad_man: Why would any dad think his son is gay at six? Kids are asexual at that age

This thread has already provided anecdotal evidence to refute your baseless claim, but I'll add mine.

By six I was already getting caught hiding lingerie catalogs with scantily clad women under the bed. Of course they were found. My parents just smiled at me and said, "It's because of the boobs isn't it?"
All I could do was admit that, yeah, I like boobs. They didn't scold me or anything, just told me to stop swiping mom's magazines.

By seven I had already looked up sex in an encyclopedia and knew what all the fuss was about, and why women gave me boners.

Suffice to say when my folks decided it was time for "the talk", they weren't terribly surprised that they weren't telling me anything I didn't already know.

I didn't notice girls to much later myself. I just think its odd to look at a 6 year old and think "yep he's gay".

See, there are a lot of religiously influenced groups that would have people believe sexual orientation is a choice (and thus condemnable as sin), but weight of evidence (anecdotal or otherwise) seems to suggest a very different story of human sexual development.

Don't follow the propaganda, follow the evidence.

I don't care who or isn't gay. I just think that we shouldn't be thinking about six years olds sex orientations. Heck six year old kids shouldn't know what sex is.

Oh shut up you prude.

How does that make me a prude? 6 years olds should be innocent.




Feeling attraction towards your peers is perfectly innocent. I was playing Doctor and House with the girl across the street at that age, even had sleepovers where we usually woke up cuddled up on the recliner in the living room.

Most kids do, in fact. Just because they express attraction does not mean they're losing their innocence.
 
2013-03-16 12:34:21 AM  
i wish we lived in a world where clergy from coast to coast would be sharing that message of love in this Sunday's sermon. in a good way.
 
2013-03-16 12:36:36 AM  
My oldest son is almost 3.  His current interests are, in order:

Race cars (Lightning McQueen!!!!1)
Semi trucks
Sophia the First (he knows all the songs)
Tinkerbell

WHAT DOES IT MEAN!??
 
2013-03-16 12:45:03 AM  

thisiszombocom: all my parents do is tell me how disappointed they are in me

:'(

/ really


That can be defined as their problem.  You can't control what they say, but you can control how you react. Aka "They can only hurt you if you let them." This is a difficult one to master especially with parents (been there with my Mom.)

/Platitudes, perhaps, but they do work. And I hope you have people in your life who are not disappointed in you at all.
 
2013-03-16 12:49:24 AM  

Mike Chewbacca: ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: cyberspacedout: Mike Chewbacca: I'm sorry, but did you just say that little boys can't get erections?

Perhaps unusual, but not impossible. I didn't until I was 11, and I didn't learn until I was much older that I had probably been in the minority there. Might have had something to do with hormone levels, might have been psychological, I don't know for sure - but things all worked out in the end.

Not unusual, not impossible. My mother in law is a nurse, so normal body stuff doesn't bother her to talk about, so she's made jokes about both my husband and his brother's discovery of their own body. A few people I've known have been surprised by their boys' arousal. I've known a few mothers who have little girls who get self-aware about their own bodies by 3-5 years old. Its a "touchy" subject to not make them ashamed of their sexuality.

Super common, in fact.

Alex, age 2, as his daddy was putting a fresh diaper: "Daddy crush big peepee?" (He was just putting on a diaper, nothing weird)
Jacob age 3, "Mommy, I'm going to go into the bathroom and play with my penis."
Zach, age 3, "Daddy,. sometimes my penis is big and sometimes my penis is small. I like it better when it's big."

Obviously I don't remember being 3, but my friends/family have told me the above anecdotes about their young sons, all in the last 10 years or so. Oh, and regarding Alex, when he was really little (2-ish) my buddy would give him a bath with his best friend's daughter Jessica, who lived next door. They were taking cutesy bathtime photos and ended up having to delete several because Alex had a baby boner. And that was the last time he got to bathe with Jessica.


Yeah, I meant perhaps unusual if it doesn't happen, as in my situation. There was a certain medical history involved, which probably affected certain aspects of my development. So I was surprised but not shocked to learn that others were different in terms of having working equipment at a young age. My generation just didn't talk about it much, so it was just something I heard about every now and then. Like there was one time a teacher at my preschool told my parents that when she changed the kids' diapers, she would occasionally observe them masturbating. And a few years ago, a friend of mine noticed the same with one of his kids at age 2. It's one thing they didn't acknowledge back in sex ed class.
 
2013-03-16 12:50:18 AM  

Tharkin: My oldest son is almost 3.  His current interests are, in order:

Race cars (Lightning McQueen!!!!1)
Semi trucks
Sophia the First (he knows all the songs)
Tinkerbell

WHAT DOES IT MEAN!??


If I had a 50-50 ratio of "girls" vs. "boys" stuff for a son, I'd assume I needed to teach my son that love and compassion matter most and that we judge people on the content of their character.

I am so happy to live in Seattle, where its OK to be gay. After growing up in a place that intolerance was tolerated, I would not want to raise children there.
 
2013-03-16 12:51:42 AM  

Mike Chewbacca: ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: cyberspacedout: Mike Chewbacca: I'm sorry, but did you just say that little boys can't get erections?

Perhaps unusual, but not impossible. I didn't until I was 11, and I didn't learn until I was much older that I had probably been in the minority there. Might have had something to do with hormone levels, might have been psychological, I don't know for sure - but things all worked out in the end.

Not unusual, not impossible. My mother in law is a nurse, so normal body stuff doesn't bother her to talk about, so she's made jokes about both my husband and his brother's discovery of their own body. A few people I've known have been surprised by their boys' arousal. I've known a few mothers who have little girls who get self-aware about their own bodies by 3-5 years old. Its a "touchy" subject to not make them ashamed of their sexuality.

Super common, in fact.

Alex, age 2, as his daddy was putting a fresh diaper: "Daddy crush big peepee?" (He was just putting on a diaper, nothing weird)
Jacob age 3, "Mommy, I'm going to go into the bathroom and play with my penis."
Zach, age 3, "Daddy,. sometimes my penis is big and sometimes my penis is small. I like it better when it's big."

Obviously I don't remember being 3, but my friends/family have told me the above anecdotes about their young sons, all in the last 10 years or so. Oh, and regarding Alex, when he was really little (2-ish) my buddy would give him a bath with his best friend's daughter Jessica, who lived next door. They were taking cutesy bathtime photos and ended up having to delete several because Alex had a baby boner. And that was the last time he got to bathe with Jessica.


Hahahaha.  The other day I was changing my oldest son's (almost 3) diaper.  He had a boner.  Literally the second that diaper was off he gave it a big whack with his hand and grinned at me and said "HEEHEEHEEHEEEEE."  I seriously almost pissed my pants trying not to laugh too much.

Kids that young don't know anything about sexuality.  But they do know that the donghammer (yes, he knows it's a penis, but he calls it his donghammer.  You're welcome, world.) feels different than other body parts when messed with.
 
2013-03-16 12:57:43 AM  
Well, if we're telling stories, I should have known that I was gay a long time ago, but when you grow up in the sort of conservative evangelical circles that are big on abstinence and courtship, you get told to "guard your heart," and that if you're properly spiritual you'll not give away pieces of your heart to people other than the person you marry. And so, my complete lack of attraction to guys was easily explained away in my head as proof that I was just really super spiritual and guarding my heart like I was supposed to. The fact that I was sort of nervous and afraid to talk to certain girls got chalked up to being shy (never mind that I had no such issues with boys), when in retrospect it was really that I had a crush but since I didn't know what a crush was supposed to feel like and was always told it was a feeling you were supposed to have toward the opposite sex I didn't interpret it as what it was. And everybody has a thing for Angelina Jolie. Etc, etc, etc, there were plenty of reasons that I rationalized everything away into neat little boxes that fit with the world I was living in.

Then I moved back from living in Vietnam and was going through major reverse culture shock, didn't know which end was up, had no idea what I wanted to do with myself career-wise, the economy was in the shiatter and I knew if I went back to my old job in retail even for a brief period I'd end up stuck there, and I was basically in a massive tailspin. I'd changed while I was gone, the world had changed around me while I was away, and I found myself questioning everything about my life. During that time, I started realizing that oh, you know what, I'm attracted to women. As soon as I allowed myself to consider that and to acknowledge that reality, things started to make sense. In retrospect, there were all sorts of little things that I'd pushed down or shoved to the back of my brain, but they were always kind of in the corner of my eye and I'd never consciously dealt with them. The toughest part was that I thought I knew myself and here I was figuring something out in my late 20s and I felt like a complete idiot and wondered how this could possibly be true because shouldn't I have known it before then? Oddly though, despite the conservative background, the rightness or wrongness of my attractions was never an issue. The only issue was knowing that I needed to figure out a way to deal with it and come to terms with the way things were and not the way I thought they had been, because staying in the closet for any longer than was absolutely necessary was something went against everything I believe about how to live life honestly. Now, I should probably mention that ever since I was a teenager, I've had this sense that various difficult things that I'd gone through in my life were preparing me to have the strength to deal with something big and difficult farther down the road, so I've been kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop since I was 13 or 14. I don't feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop anymore.

I came out to my older brother fairly early on in the process of dealing with everything because I knew he would be supportive and that I needed somebody on my side and ended up coming out to my sister not all that long after. I never had any big coming out moment with my parents though--I was out at law school and something I'd posted in a discussion on a classmate's facebook wall showed up in my mom's newsfeed, which led to a late night email from her. I know it's not exactly been the easiest thing for my parents, but they've been trying hard to understand and be supportive, which is a huge thing coming from the background I'm from. I don't even bother with the tea party relatives though--they're that kind of nice that is clearly the don't-talk-about-the-elephant-in-the-room nice, and they're not worth dealing with. I think the only reason they're not asses about my younger brother's wife being hispanic is that she's the mostly-white looking hispanic and only speaks English, so it's not like I care about their opinions.
 
2013-03-16 12:59:28 AM  

Tharkin: Mike Chewbacca: ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: cyberspacedout: Mike Chewbacca: I'm sorry, but did you just say that little boys can't get erections?

Perhaps unusual, but not impossible. I didn't until I was 11, and I didn't learn until I was much older that I had probably been in the minority there. Might have had something to do with hormone levels, might have been psychological, I don't know for sure - but things all worked out in the end.

Not unusual, not impossible. My mother in law is a nurse, so normal body stuff doesn't bother her to talk about, so she's made jokes about both my husband and his brother's discovery of their own body. A few people I've known have been surprised by their boys' arousal. I've known a few mothers who have little girls who get self-aware about their own bodies by 3-5 years old. Its a "touchy" subject to not make them ashamed of their sexuality.

Super common, in fact.

Alex, age 2, as his daddy was putting a fresh diaper: "Daddy crush big peepee?" (He was just putting on a diaper, nothing weird)
Jacob age 3, "Mommy, I'm going to go into the bathroom and play with my penis."
Zach, age 3, "Daddy,. sometimes my penis is big and sometimes my penis is small. I like it better when it's big."

Obviously I don't remember being 3, but my friends/family have told me the above anecdotes about their young sons, all in the last 10 years or so. Oh, and regarding Alex, when he was really little (2-ish) my buddy would give him a bath with his best friend's daughter Jessica, who lived next door. They were taking cutesy bathtime photos and ended up having to delete several because Alex had a baby boner. And that was the last time he got to bathe with Jessica.

Hahahaha.  The other day I was changing my oldest son's (almost 3) diaper.  He had a boner.  Literally the second that diaper was off he gave it a big whack with his hand and grinned at me and said "HEEHEEHEEHEEEEE."  I seriously almost pissed my pants trying not to laugh too much.

Kids that youn ...




As a mum of 2 boys, watch the shampoo bottles. Those little farkers will stick it in anything.
 
2013-03-16 01:00:24 AM  
Donghammer.

Cheesus H. Rice. My stomach hurts from trying laugh during a very serious movie my husband is watching.

I am going to be the worst parent ever. I almost peed my pants laughing when my best friend's daughter said, "that's f***ing bull s***" about an over-tightened car seat strap. She's only 2.5 years old. I let my dog lick my nephew's face.

/Thank you, for raising that kid.
 
2013-03-16 01:08:38 AM  

sleeps in trees: As a mum of 2 boys, watch the shampoo bottles. Those little farkers will stick it in anything.


I remember a kid telling me his younger brother had done that. Then when I was older, I remember finding out the effects of shampoo on certain parts. Your kids will learn not to do that.
 
2013-03-16 01:11:16 AM  

ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: I almost peed my pants laughing when my best friend's daughter said, "that's f***ing bull s***" about an over-tightened car seat strap.


I effing *heart* that shiat. Little sponges doing the 'From you dad, I learned it from you' behaviour to shocked parents. The only problem is you can't then go to the friend "See? I told you that you behaved like that sometimes, if you're kid is doing it, it lends evidence now doesn't it?"

That ends poorly.

♪♫/Life lessons♪♫♫♫♪
 
2013-03-16 01:14:36 AM  

Acharne: ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: I almost peed my pants laughing when my best friend's daughter said, "that's f***ing bull s***" about an over-tightened car seat strap.

I effing *heart* that shiat. Little sponges doing the 'From you dad, I learned it from you' behaviour to shocked parents. The only problem is you can't then go to the friend "See? I told you that you behaved like that sometimes, if you're kid is doing it, it lends evidence now doesn't it?"

That ends poorly.

♪♫/Life lessons♪♫♫♫♪


My best friend said, "Ava, what did you say?" and she repeated herself, and so she replied, "Ava, that's not a real word, you shouldn't use that anymore."

I cannot wait until Ava tells her daddy that its not a real word and scolds him, because its going to be priceless when he gets uppity about the 2.5 year old child telling him what is/is not a real word. I already told my friend, this is going to be a problem.
 
2013-03-16 01:15:39 AM  

cyberspacedout: sleeps in trees: As a mum of 2 boys, watch the shampoo bottles. Those little farkers will stick it in anything.

I remember a kid telling me his younger brother had done that. Then when I was older, I remember finding out the effects of shampoo on certain parts. Your kids will learn not to do that.




Baby shampoo. No effect on them, looks like urine. Trust me, first hand golden shower experience. I have a special place in my cold dark heart for the two of them.
 
2013-03-16 01:21:10 AM  

Tharkin: My oldest son is almost 3.  His current interests are, in order:

Race cars (Lightning McQueen!!!!1)
Semi trucks
Sophia the First (he knows all the songs)
Tinkerbell

WHAT DOES IT MEAN!??


He's going to be an awesome kid no matter who he loves?

/amiright?
 
2013-03-16 01:30:19 AM  
Better than my mom's "So, it's not like I never slept with a woman before!?" to my "duh, mom, I'm bi, and this is my girlfriend."

Which is great, until everyone is sharing their coming out story and no one understands that your parents really didn't give a flying fart...no, srsly.

But, nothing like eavesdropping on your kid and undercutting their emotional stuff and turning something they want to work through into a cute note...might not have been important to the parents, but I bet it was to the kid.

/My mom *also* claimed to know since I was a first grader...of course, when I was 16 I listened to her telling her bi friend I didn't like boys OR girls. I think I was dating one of each at the time.
 
2013-03-16 01:34:06 AM  

GoSurfing: Not to be a douche, but I've heard it different from gay people...and it's just an honest question:

Nature or nature? Are you born gay, or do you become gay?

/I'm curious. From a scientific standpoint, not a "that thing/person/experience" must have made you gay.


Nature according to my Aunt, age 72. She and her partner have been together 45 years.  She said she knew from a young age she was "different." She tried to go the traditional route and got engaged like a girl raised in the 50's ought to. She didn't go through with it. All the homophobia and the lack of partner's rights has had her tell me, "Why would anybody choose this?"

/Love my Aunts no matter who they love <3
 
2013-03-16 01:38:08 AM  

ReverendJasen: Why do people keep trying to perpetuate this myth that children are all asexual and non-gendered?


Fear of legitimizing pedophilia and the arguments of pedophiles/pedophile apologists that people under the legal age of consent can be sexual beings who can make their own sexual choices.
 
2013-03-16 01:38:14 AM  

pivazena: Lumbar Puncture: Same thing happened to my friend but in person.  He told his mom and she said 'Ok, now pass the salad'.

I don't know how I'd feel in that situation.  If it took a massive amount of courage to tell my parents about my sexual orientation and they were all cool-dismissive, like "yeah we totes knew about it anyway," I feel... deflated?  Like this was a big huge deal to me and my parents don't care about hard even coming out was for me.  Of course, that'd be way preferential to a knock-down drag-out fight and them kicking me out of the house. I think I'd at least want a hug or something.  Not a "we feel sorry for you" hug, but a "we know that was hard for you to say" hug.

I've never really thought about that before.  Hmm.


It's called "adolescence". A lot of things that a are a really big deal to kids are "Yeah, okay. Grab me soda will ya?" to adults.

 They forget how many zillion times their parents have already seen this. Sure it's the first time for them and so it's novel and a really big deal. Just like it was for their parents the first time it happened to them too. But now it's like the 58th millionth time and is treated accordingly.

/for normal people anyway.
 
2013-03-16 01:38:21 AM  

StranahansBarracuda: GoSurfing: Not to be a douche, but I've heard it different from gay people...and it's just an honest question:

Nature or nature? Are you born gay, or do you become gay?

/I'm curious. From a scientific standpoint, not a "that thing/person/experience" must have made you gay.

Nature according to my Aunt, age 72. She and her partner have been together 45 years.  She said she knew from a young age she was "different." She tried to go the traditional route and got engaged like a girl raised in the 50's ought to. She didn't go through with it. All the homophobia and the lack of partner's rights has had her tell me, "Why would anybody choose this?"

/Love my Aunts no matter who they love <3


My mom's uncle has a similar story. He got engaged, tried to do the normal stuff after he got out of the Navy, but in the end, he realized he was not going to have a normal life, even if he pretended. He and his partner were together over 30 years. The lack of partner rights was a very huge issue for them, since the retired to a rural area that was extremely intolerant and backward. They ended up on a cruise when his partner passed. I don't know for sure, but it feels intentional that they were isolated in that way when his partner was so ill...
 
2013-03-16 01:42:48 AM  
For all the people in this thread claiming "eavesdropping" I don't know about you, but the average set of walls in a house/apartment are not exactly sound proof. And teenage boys have a tendency to have loud, carrying voices and are *terrible* at moderating them.

 Stop trying to blame the dad for not be farking deaf in his own house!

/must have a lot of young farks in here or something today.
 
2013-03-16 01:48:26 AM  

cuzsis: For all the people in this thread claiming "eavesdropping" I don't know about you, but the average set of walls in a house/apartment are not exactly sound proof. And teenage boys have a tendency to have loud, carrying voices and are *terrible* at moderating them.

 Stop trying to blame the dad for not be farking deaf in his own house!

/must have a lot of young farks in here or something today.


It's not the fact of the eavesdropping. Generally just being polite requires that you at least *pretend* to not overhear people's emotional crap. I pretty much hear everything my kid (he's about to be 21) says, but I'm not enough of a jerk to go around commenting on it.

/Except to mention that maybe he should bring it down a notch to keep it private on occasion.
 
2013-03-16 01:49:14 AM  

susansto-helit: ExperianScaresCthulhu: dragonchild: SIX???  What's there to know about a six-year-old's sexual orientation?  When I was six I was. . . well. . . six!  I was years away from my cooties phase, let alone being attracted to anyone.

You raise a good point.  Exactly what did he mean by 'I knew you were gay since you were 6'?  There are some places that goes, which aren't (uhm) heartwarming or positive.

RTFT?


Comment was on the first page.  That was my reaction to the comment and to the headline.  There's a slippery slope going on, there, with saying one 'knows' someone is gay since whenever.  Can lead to nasty stereotyping, and nasty consequences, relating to traditional gender roles and what happens when a kid 'switches it up' as a .. well, kid.  Saying you know someone is gay because they like the color pink or saying someone is lesbian because they like softball.

'Did you hear the rumor about Michael?
Some say he must be gay.
I try to argue but they said if he was straight
He wouldn't walk that way....'


That kind of shiat. You know?  That's a slippery slope to go down, not heartwarming, just slippery.  To me at any rate.
 
2013-03-16 02:07:37 AM  

LabGrrl: Better than my mom's "So, it's not like I never slept with a woman before!?" to my "duh, mom, I'm bi, and this is my girlfriend."

Which is great, until everyone is sharing their coming out story and no one understands that your parents really didn't give a flying fart...no, srsly.

But, nothing like eavesdropping on your kid and undercutting their emotional stuff and turning something they want to work through into a cute note...might not have been important to the parents, but I bet it was to the kid.

/My mom *also* claimed to know since I was a first grader...of course, when I was 16 I listened to her telling her bi friend I didn't like boys OR girls. I think I was dating one of each at the time.


You know sometimes it doesn't go that well, and I doubt all the ones that had it bad can be here posting their stories.
But I agree the note sounds wrong and I'm thinking it's not real but if so it was maybe sorta wrong but the alternative can be so much worse.
 
2013-03-16 02:10:23 AM  

cuzsis: pivazena: Lumbar Puncture: Same thing happened to my friend but in person.  He told his mom and she said 'Ok, now pass the salad'.

I don't know how I'd feel in that situation.  If it took a massive amount of courage to tell my parents about my sexual orientation and they were all cool-dismissive, like "yeah we totes knew about it anyway," I feel... deflated?  Like this was a big huge deal to me and my parents don't care about hard even coming out was for me.  Of course, that'd be way preferential to a knock-down drag-out fight and them kicking me out of the house. I think I'd at least want a hug or something.  Not a "we feel sorry for you" hug, but a "we know that was hard for you to say" hug.

I've never really thought about that before.  Hmm.

It's called "adolescence". A lot of things that a are a really big deal to kids are "Yeah, okay. Grab me soda will ya?" to adults.

 They forget how many zillion times their parents have already seen this. Sure it's the first time for them and so it's novel and a really big deal. Just like it was for their parents the first time it happened to them too. But now it's like the 58th millionth time and is treated accordingly.

/for normal people anyway.


For most things, what you're saying is true, but not when we're talking about coming out. There's a reason why coming out is so hard, and it's not because teenagers are dramatic and think that it's going to be a big deal for parents, it's because an awful lot of parents react badly. You never know whether your seemingly-tolerant parents are going to flip out when it's  their kid who turns out to be the gay one, and even tolerant parents often have a hard time with it because they have to accept that the life they imagined for their kid isn't the one that their kid is going to have. The reason this thing went viral is because it's so rare that parents react in such a nonplussed way. A lot of times the kid has to take the role of the parent and act like the grownup when they come out while the parents struggle to adjust to the reality.
 
2013-03-16 02:12:26 AM  

sleeps in trees: Baby shampoo. No effect on them, looks like urine. Trust me, first hand golden shower experience. I have a special place in my cold dark heart for the two of them.


Ah, right. Now I'm remembering when I started using the non-baby stuff in my hair, and when I got it in my eye it stung like a biatch. Shampoo, I mean. Not urine.
 
2013-03-16 02:16:36 AM  
Well... this thread is like one big coming out party

That's cool.

I took a gay man out to the rifle range once. When we got back I was delighted that I'd convinced him that he, as a member of a historically oppressed minority, ought to be right there on the front lines of defending the 2nd amendment. Showed him my favorite tri-tip roast shack and then offered to show him how to clean the rifles back at my place.

Yeah, you can see where this is going. Boy I was a naive 23 year old guy. A few cigarettes and some break-free oilings in, he confesses that he's just had the biggest crush on me since we started talking...

So he was only interested in my guns because of my body :(
 
2013-03-16 02:17:52 AM  
Six-year-olds do not naturally have a sexual orientation.

That aside, good on him for not being a douche, though the note's kinda passive-aggressive and sarcastic about it so that might lose him some points depending how seriously his son wants him to take it.

//Albeit, given my family, my kids will basically have to confess to time-travel and genocide in the same paragraph to get much more than this from me.

rynthetyn: For most things, what you're saying is true, but not when we're talking about coming out. There's a reason why coming out is so hard, and it's not because teenagers are dramatic and think that it's going to be a big deal for parents, it's because an awful lot of parents react badly.


Nah, most of the time it's because teenagers are being overly dramatic.  If your parents would react badly to this and you didn't know it well in advance then what the fark have you been doing sharing a roof with these people for 15+ years and not ever talking to them about anything?

Kids expecting a big confrontation and not getting it is far more frequent than the other way around.  Not that the other way around doesn't happen, but it's extremely rare.  Primarily because most parents _do_ have a pretty bloody good notion of what their kid is up to in their teen years (i.e. "the stupid years") and would have confronted them about it long before they 'came out' were it an issue.  Homosexuality isn't some deep mystery that's alien to parental experience these days, they... can pretty much tell.
 
2013-03-16 02:31:42 AM  

sleeps in trees: Tharkin: Mike Chewbacca: ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: cyberspacedout: Mike Chewbacca: I'm sorry, but did you just say that little boys can't get erections?

Perhaps unusual, but not impossible. I didn't until I was 11, and I didn't learn until I was much older that I had probably been in the minority there. Might have had something to do with hormone levels, might have been psychological, I don't know for sure - but things all worked out in the end.

Not unusual, not impossible. My mother in law is a nurse, so normal body stuff doesn't bother her to talk about, so she's made jokes about both my husband and his brother's discovery of their own body. A few people I've known have been surprised by their boys' arousal. I've known a few mothers who have little girls who get self-aware about their own bodies by 3-5 years old. Its a "touchy" subject to not make them ashamed of their sexuality.

Super common, in fact.

Alex, age 2, as his daddy was putting a fresh diaper: "Daddy crush big peepee?" (He was just putting on a diaper, nothing weird)
Jacob age 3, "Mommy, I'm going to go into the bathroom and play with my penis."
Zach, age 3, "Daddy,. sometimes my penis is big and sometimes my penis is small. I like it better when it's big."

Obviously I don't remember being 3, but my friends/family have told me the above anecdotes about their young sons, all in the last 10 years or so. Oh, and regarding Alex, when he was really little (2-ish) my buddy would give him a bath with his best friend's daughter Jessica, who lived next door. They were taking cutesy bathtime photos and ended up having to delete several because Alex had a baby boner. And that was the last time he got to bathe with Jessica.

Hahahaha.  The other day I was changing my oldest son's (almost 3) diaper.  He had a boner.  Literally the second that diaper was off he gave it a big whack with his hand and grinned at me and said "HEEHEEHEEHEEEEE."  I seriously almost pissed my pants trying not to laugh too much.

Kids ...


Kids are hilarious!!! And that's why they can't vote.
 
2013-03-16 02:42:09 AM  

Tharkin: My oldest son is almost 3.  His current interests are, in order:

Race cars (Lightning McQueen!!!!1)
Semi trucks
Sophia the First (he knows all the songs)
Tinkerbell

WHAT DOES IT MEAN!??


Your son is a lesbian.
 
2013-03-16 02:43:49 AM  

duenor: Well... this thread is like one big coming out party

That's cool.

I took a gay man out to the rifle range once. When we got back I was delighted that I'd convinced him that he, as a member of a historically oppressed minority, ought to be right there on the front lines of defending the 2nd amendment. Showed him my favorite tri-tip roast shack and then offered to show him how to clean the rifles back at my place.

Yeah, you can see where this is going. Boy I was a naive 23 year old guy. A few cigarettes and some break-free oilings in, he confesses that he's just had the biggest crush on me since we started talking...

So he was only interested in my guns because of my body :(


Gay men, as a demographic, do tend to be especially interested in cleaning other men's rifles. I'm sure he was also quite intrigued by the possibility of finding out the caliber of your concealed carry pistol.
 
2013-03-16 02:49:52 AM  

duenor: Well... this thread is like one big coming out party

That's cool.

I took a gay man out to the rifle range once. When we got back I was delighted that I'd convinced him that he, as a member of a historically oppressed minority, ought to be right there on the front lines of defending the 2nd amendment. Showed him my favorite tri-tip roast shack and then offered to show him how to clean the rifles back at my place.

Yeah, you can see where this is going. Boy I was a naive 23 year old guy. A few cigarettes and some break-free oilings in, he confesses that he's just had the biggest crush on me since we started talking...

So he was only interested in my guns because of my body :(


So was the sex good?
: )
 
2013-03-16 02:51:00 AM  

LoneWolf343: Tharkin: My oldest son is almost 3.  His current interests are, in order:

Race cars (Lightning McQueen!!!!1)
Semi trucks
Sophia the First (he knows all the songs)
Tinkerbell

WHAT DOES IT MEAN!??

Your son is a lesbian.


Heh, you laugh now but...
 
2013-03-16 02:59:33 AM  

Jim_Callahan: Six-year-olds do not naturally have a sexual orientation.


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
 
2013-03-16 03:03:32 AM  

Caffandtranqs: He will be liking girls in the future.


OR he ends up gay and likes to hang out with and be sweet to certain females.

Caffandtranqs: He is a little heterosexual boy who acts out his instincts.  That's all it is.  He will have future crushes on the girls he is finally around and then do etc.


Flagrant misuse of the jump to conclusions mat.

Also, I like how you are obsessed enough to reply twice to adamantly state how heterosexual the little boy is.

It could be he just ...drumroll... has taken a liking to you in a nonsexual way(without the sex).  Hard to imagine, I know.

Are you nice?  Are you not-hideous?  Maybe he likes the way you smell, or the candy you bring, or a million other things that a billions of other people arbitrarily decide that's what they like.  It's normal in a social society such as most humans experience.

You making it into a sexuality(without the sex) issue, and doing so adamantly, is worrying.  I don't think you should be around kids much, and never without supervision.
 
2013-03-16 03:03:54 AM  

Ed Grubermann: Jim_Callahan: Six-year-olds do not naturally have a sexual orientation.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


It is cute when they believe things like that isn't it?
 
2013-03-16 03:36:00 AM  

LoneWolf343: Tharkin: My oldest son is almost 3.  His current interests are, in order:

Race cars (Lightning McQueen!!!!1)
Semi trucks
Sophia the First (he knows all the songs)
Tinkerbell

WHAT DOES IT MEAN!??

Your son is a lesbian.


Au contraire.
Tinkerbell is farking hawt. He's at least 75% straight.

/ Pulp, No pup just isnt an issue in the 21st century any more.  Only the people who like extra Calcium are sick in the head. I didnt order a chalk juice.
 
2013-03-16 04:09:06 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: LoneWolf343: Tharkin: My oldest son is almost 3.  His current interests are, in order:

Race cars (Lightning McQueen!!!!1)
Semi trucks
Sophia the First (he knows all the songs)
Tinkerbell

WHAT DOES IT MEAN!??

Your son is a lesbian.

Heh, you laugh now but...


Hey, my favorite things was I was little were construction equipment (backhoes, bulldozers, etc) and fairies.

So, in fact, your son is likely to grow up to be a bisexual woman.
 
2013-03-16 04:27:30 AM  

rynthetyn: cuzsis: pivazena: Lumbar Puncture: Same thing happened to my friend but in person.  He told his mom and she said 'Ok, now pass the salad'.

I don't know how I'd feel in that situation.  If it took a massive amount of courage to tell my parents about my sexual orientation and they were all cool-dismissive, like "yeah we totes knew about it anyway," I feel... deflated?  Like this was a big huge deal to me and my parents don't care about hard even coming out was for me.  Of course, that'd be way preferential to a knock-down drag-out fight and them kicking me out of the house. I think I'd at least want a hug or something.  Not a "we feel sorry for you" hug, but a "we know that was hard for you to say" hug.

I've never really thought about that before.  Hmm.

It's called "adolescence". A lot of things that a are a really big deal to kids are "Yeah, okay. Grab me soda will ya?" to adults.

 They forget how many zillion times their parents have already seen this. Sure it's the first time for them and so it's novel and a really big deal. Just like it was for their parents the first time it happened to them too. But now it's like the 58th millionth time and is treated accordingly.

/for normal people anyway.

For most things, what you're saying is true, but not when we're talking about coming out. There's a reason why coming out is so hard, and it's not because teenagers are dramatic and think that it's going to be a big deal for parents, it's because an awful lot of parents react badly. You never know whether your seemingly-tolerant parents are going to flip out when it's  their kid who turns out to be the gay one, and even tolerant parents often have a hard time with it because they have to accept that the life they imagined for their kid isn't the one that their kid is going to have. The reason this thing went viral is because it's so rare that parents react in such a nonplussed way. A lot of times the kid has to take the role of the parent and act like the grownup when t ...


I'm still surprised to find out that Cher admitted to having a hard time dealing with Chastity coming out as a lesbian, while her conservative father Sonny was completely cool with it. I mean, Cher of all people? This is a woman who dated a gay guy (David Geffin) and is worshiped by gay men and imitated by drag queens around the world, and she's couldn't deal with her daughter being a lesbian? Blew my mind.

Then Cher completely plotzed when Chastity transitioned to Chaz, while his stepfather Greg Allman (a redneck dude from the conservative south) was totally chill about it. Now my mind has collapsed into a black hole.

(To be fair to Cher, she eventually got over it and fully supports Chaz now)
 
2013-03-16 04:39:34 AM  

Anderson's Pooper: This space intentionally left blank.: It's a choice, but it doesn't make it at all right that his old man turned his back on him like that.

I never said it was.  Of course neither of us has met the woman in question so maybe there's some basis for it.

And perhaps we should both check our sarcasm meters.


Fair enough. I think Fark needs a sarcasm font.
 
2013-03-16 04:42:32 AM  

This space intentionally left blank.: Anderson's Pooper: This space intentionally left blank.: It's a choice, but it doesn't make it at all right that his old man turned his back on him like that.

I never said it was.  Of course neither of us has met the woman in question so maybe there's some basis for it.

And perhaps we should both check our sarcasm meters.

Fair enough. I think Fark needs a sarcasm font.


I'd have to say she was one of the kindest, most decent people I ever had the pleasure of meeting. Which to me made what our father did even worse.
 
2013-03-16 04:54:31 AM  

ambercat: tinfoil-hat maggie: LoneWolf343: Tharkin: My oldest son is almost 3.  His current interests are, in order:

Race cars (Lightning McQueen!!!!1)
Semi trucks
Sophia the First (he knows all the songs)
Tinkerbell

WHAT DOES IT MEAN!??

Your son is a lesbian.

Heh, you laugh now but...

Hey, my favorite things was I was little were construction equipment (backhoes, bulldozers, etc) and fairies.

So, in fact, your son is likely to grow up to be a bisexual woman.


We should totally hang out and play together, yea that was my sandbox for sure and bonus, I really know how to run backhoes, bobcat's and bulldozers. Granted it's been many, many moons since then but...
 
2013-03-16 05:10:11 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: ambercat: tinfoil-hat maggie: LoneWolf343: Tharkin: My oldest son is almost 3.  His current interests are, in order:

Race cars (Lightning McQueen!!!!1)
Semi trucks
Sophia the First (he knows all the songs)
Tinkerbell

WHAT DOES IT MEAN!??

Your son is a lesbian.

Heh, you laugh now but...

Hey, my favorite things was I was little were construction equipment (backhoes, bulldozers, etc) and fairies.

So, in fact, your son is likely to grow up to be a bisexual woman.

We should totally hang out and play together, yea that was my sandbox for sure and bonus, I really know how to run backhoes, bobcat's and bulldozers. Granted it's been many, many moons since then but...


Yeah, that was my sandbox too. My parents bought all of the Tonka construction toys for my older brother, and since those things are indestructible, the same ones got passed down to me, then to my sister, and then to my little brother, and I think my mom has them stashed away somewhere because they'll survive the nuclear apocalypse.
 
2013-03-16 05:19:06 AM  

rynthetyn: tinfoil-hat maggie: ambercat: tinfoil-hat maggie: LoneWolf343: Tharkin: My oldest son is almost 3.  His current interests are, in order:

Race cars (Lightning McQueen!!!!1)
Semi trucks
Sophia the First (he knows all the songs)
Tinkerbell

WHAT DOES IT MEAN!??

Your son is a lesbian.

Heh, you laugh now but...

Hey, my favorite things was I was little were construction equipment (backhoes, bulldozers, etc) and fairies.

So, in fact, your son is likely to grow up to be a bisexual woman.

We should totally hang out and play together, yea that was my sandbox for sure and bonus, I really know how to run backhoes, bobcat's and bulldozers. Granted it's been many, many moons since then but...

Yeah, that was my sandbox too. My parents bought all of the Tonka construction toys for my older brother, and since those things are indestructible, the same ones got passed down to me, then to my sister, and then to my little brother, and I think my mom has them stashed away somewhere because they'll survive the nuclear apocalypse.


Heh, yea those Tonka toys would survive just about anything. I grew up with two brothers and not many kids in the neighborhoods we lived in so I mostly played with them, if I wanted company.
 
2013-03-16 05:32:40 AM  

FuryOfFirestorm: I'm still surprised to find out that Cher admitted to having a hard time dealing with Chastity coming out as a lesbian, while her conservative father Sonny was completely cool with it. I mean, Cher of all people? This is a woman who dated a gay guy (David Geffin) and is worshiped by gay men and imitated by drag queens around the world, and she's couldn't deal with her daughter being a lesbian? Blew my mind.

Then Cher completely plotzed when Chastity transitioned to Chaz, while his stepfather Greg Allman (a redneck dude from the conservative south) was totally chill about it. Now my mind has collapsed into a black hole.

(To be fair to Cher, she eventually got over it and fully supports Chaz now)


Yeah, given how much Cher owes her career to gay men buying her music, that she had a hard time with it was surprising. Though, it's different when it's your kid rather than other people's kids, and I imagine that finding out that your daughter is actually your son is probably something that takes getting used to no matter how theoretically cool with the concept you may be.
 
2013-03-16 06:01:27 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: I grew up with two brothers


EWWWW you grew up with breeders

// takes tongue out of cheek (ow that went deep)
/ sorry could not resist hehehe
 
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