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(Yahoo)   Teen son on phone with boyfriend: "I'm going to tell my dad I'm gay." Dad writes: "I've known you were gay since you were six. Now go buy some orange juice"   (shine.yahoo.com) divider line 416
    More: Sappy, boyfriends, PFLAG  
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23527 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2013 at 5:30 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-15 09:17:30 PM

Acharne: Dr_Gene: Acharne: My parents are lesbians.


If you're a guy and your parents are lesbians, they're not telling you the whole story.

/Y-Chromosome in the woodpile, perhaps?
// NNTAWWT

OK here goes: Mom has always been a lesbian. Once and only once she got drunk and slept with a dude (not sure if it was in a woodpile, but she must have been piled by wood. Y she did that, I don't know). A couple weeks after that she hooked up with a new lady and they fell in love. Shortly after that mom realised she was pregnant with me. Big changes. They agree to raise me together. *BAM* 32 years pass and here we are, in this thread.  There is more to the story but this is Fark and I'm already causing many pairs of pants to stir by simply mentioning a lesbian having sex with a dude once.


My mom got pregnant with me by my dad, and with my half-sister by another guy before she realized she was a lesbian. She's been blissfully dick-free since 1982.
 
2013-03-15 09:17:35 PM

BolloxReader: dragonchild: SIX???  What's there to know about a six-year-old's sexual orientation?  When I was six I was. . . well. . . six!  I was years away from my cooties phase, let alone being attracted to anyone.

I guess I was an odd bird, that was the age I started really noticing women. Of course I didn't actually act on that until high school. And I couldn't have done anything about it at the time anyway.

But yeah some young kids do get urges even if they don't yet know what they mean.


When I was little, I was a complete tomboy and spent most of my time running around, getting dirty, climbing trees, and playing football and soccer with the boys. I hated wearing dresses or skirts or doing my hair and only had dolls I was given, never asked for. I also had a hell of a matchbox car collection that I carried around in a special case.

But I also liked watching Tarzan on TV. The star was Ron Ely, and I thought he was smokin' hot, or however I thought of him with my little-girl vocabulary. I had no idea why I liked watching him run around in the jungle in only his tiny loincloth but boy, did I ever!

So I always knew I was straight, even though I didn't like to do anything that most girls liked to do and had no idea what sex was for many more years after that, but I might have confused my parents...
 
2013-03-15 09:23:40 PM

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: I should be in the kitchen: A similar thing happened with a close friend in high school. Luckily, his parents were as understanding as the dad who wrote thus note. Being a teenager is hard enough and I can't even to begin to imagine the pain of being rejected by your own family for just being you.

My half-brother (from my father's first marriage) was disowned and shunned by my father for a good 20 years. His crime? Marrying a Puerto Rican woman.


Damn, that's awful. I try to at least understand where people are coming from even if I don't agree, but I truly don't understand how people can cast aside their own children like that.
 
2013-03-15 09:24:33 PM

silvervial: BolloxReader: dragonchild: SIX???  What's there to know about a six-year-old's sexual orientation?  When I was six I was. . . well. . . six!  I was years away from my cooties phase, let alone being attracted to anyone.

I guess I was an odd bird, that was the age I started really noticing women. Of course I didn't actually act on that until high school. And I couldn't have done anything about it at the time anyway.

But yeah some young kids do get urges even if they don't yet know what they mean.

When I was little, I was a complete tomboy and spent most of my time running around, getting dirty, climbing trees, and playing football and soccer with the boys. I hated wearing dresses or skirts or doing my hair and only had dolls I was given, never asked for. I also had a hell of a matchbox car collection that I carried around in a special case.

But I also liked watching Tarzan on TV. The star was Ron Ely, and I thought he was smokin' hot, or however I thought of him with my little-girl vocabulary. I had no idea why I liked watching him run around in the jungle in only his tiny loincloth but boy, did I ever!

So I always knew I was straight, even though I didn't like to do anything that most girls liked to do and had no idea what sex was for many more years after that, but I might have confused my parents...


My sis was a total tomboy. Still is. She's still angry that Mom and Dad refused to buy her "boy's" toys like Transformers and GI Joes and Matchbox cars. But she's totally, 100% straight, and them not buying her the toys she wanted had nothing to do with her heterosexuality.
 
2013-03-15 09:25:02 PM

FuryOfFirestorm: ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: SBinRR: ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: My mom knew about one of the childhood friends of my brother and I.

My daughter had a best friend guy from grade school through high school.  When they were about 12, my wife said "he is gay", and my daughter said "No way!" and gave a hundred reasons why he wasn't.  We both just said it wasn't a big deal, and not to worry about it.

When he came home from his first semester at college, our daughter came in with breaking news that he was gay.  We reminded her of a conversation about 6 years earlier that she "vaguely recalled".

My mom is friend's with my childhood friend's aunt on Facebook so she saw that he had a hyphenated name after getting married and good grief, you'd think that cow never had the chance to say "I told you so" before in her life. Believe me, my brother was a huge tool as a teenager, she said it almost constantly. Yes, yes, he's gay, you were right. Remember when you weren't an intolerant bigot and told your kids to never, ever treat their gay friend who was in the closet any differently because he was gay?! Remember when you raised us to be compassionate and tolerant?

/My mom flipped the script and is now a hugely intolerant biatch about gayness.
//she RSVP'd on Facebook to a Chik-Fil-A appreciation thing in August last year.
///The ensuing drama lasted for two days, 230 comments on my Facebook between my family, friends and coworkers.
//I blocked my mom and brother from posting.
/We spoke again after WA state approved R74 for marriage equality in November.

What made your mom go all WBC like that?


I wish I knew. She moved to TX from MN when she lost her job on a whim, leaving my brother who was still in high school to fend for himself (i.e. live with my dad, which is like being left in the woods without a map or a compass) and then she got herself back together in TX. My brother moved there but only stayed for a year or so before joining the Army, when he was gone, she found a new church. From there, it just kept getting worse. Its been unbearable for 3-4 years now.
 
2013-03-15 09:25:57 PM
Tropicana IS the best mass-produced orange juice in the world.
 
2013-03-15 09:31:42 PM

FuryOfFirestorm: My mom got pregnant with me by my dad, and with my half-sister by another guy before she realized she was a lesbian. She's been blissfully dick-free since 1982.


I'm glad she found her way, she wouldn't trade you nor your sister to change anything I bet.

In my case though, my parents have been dick free much less time, only since I moved out.
 
2013-03-15 09:34:33 PM
My sister has yet to come out to the family. We know she's gay. Instead of coming out, she has move across the country to Portland, Oregon, cut off all ties with the family except to my dad. It's bizarre. We all love her, we all know, and we'd just like to at least see her once and a while.
 
2013-03-15 09:36:41 PM

dragonchild: SIX???  What's there to know about a six-year-old's sexual orientation?  When I was six I was. . . well. . . six!  I was years away from my cooties phase, let alone being attracted to anyone.


I'm gay and suspected it when I was about that age. It wasn't sexual, but I had an inkling I can't quite articulate.

/Not effeminate, didn't play with Barbies, etc.
 
2013-03-15 09:39:41 PM
How the fark in this day and age does someone not realize children can be gay?  Shiat, my parents were born in the '40s and recognized their own cousins being gay when they were kids.  The dudes liked doing girl things when they were very little, so it came as no surprise when they "came out."  It was more like, "Yeah, we know, and we don't care," from what I've been told.  This was the '60s with a bunch of Hispanics, they were much more accepting than the the rest of the country was, now that I think about it.
I have an old friend who took me to family gatherings when we were close 15 years ago.  Her cousin, a 9 year old boy, was the nail painter for grandma because he LOVED (add gay peak stress) doing it.  He also LOVED my dress.  I told my friend he was gay, and she rebutted that he was only 9.  Come 12 years later we were talking, and she says, "____ IS gay."  Yep.  Told you so.
 
2013-03-15 09:47:52 PM

ReverendJasen: Why do people keep trying to perpetuate this myth that children are all asexual and non-gendered?
We are born with our sex and gender.  Some may display their behavorial traits later than others, but we have them in our DNA before we're born.


I think because thinking of kids being sexual beings is creepy for some people. Adults (normal adults) are not attracted to children, therefor I think they tend to view them as being asexual since they aren't sexual to them. While some people find it 'cute' when children have crushes on much older children, teens or adults, there's other people like me who have the internal bleeergh reaction when I realized the little boys I was baby sitting climbing into my lap were faaar more interested in my boobs than the girls and the lap sitting and trying to get close to me was not 100% asexual comfort. It was just weird because until then I had thought of young children as asexual and the idea that kids that young were viewing me in any kind of sexual context freaked me out. I don't really know why, but I didn't really like it. I think it's easier for adults just not to think about that at all when they're dealing with kids.
 
2013-03-15 09:52:57 PM
I'm so jaded and used to hoaxes on the internet that I think it's fake.

/sad, but you get that way after being burned so many times
 
2013-03-15 09:53:51 PM

ambercat: ReverendJasen: Why do people keep trying to perpetuate this myth that children are all asexual and non-gendered?
We are born with our sex and gender.  Some may display their behavorial traits later than others, but we have them in our DNA before we're born.

I think because thinking of kids being sexual beings is creepy for some people. Adults (normal adults) are not attracted to children, therefor I think they tend to view them as being asexual since they aren't sexual to them. While some people find it 'cute' when children have crushes on much older children, teens or adults, there's other people like me who have the internal bleeergh reaction when I realized the little boys I was baby sitting climbing into my lap were faaar more interested in my boobs than the girls and the lap sitting and trying to get close to me was not 100% asexual comfort. It was just weird because until then I had thought of young children as asexual and the idea that kids that young were viewing me in any kind of sexual context freaked me out. I don't really know why, but I didn't really like it. I think it's easier for adults just not to think about that at all when they're dealing with kids.


Actually, now that I've gone ahead and posted I realized why I didn't like it. Because I want to be able to hug and pick up small children without worrying I'm giving some 6 year old a baby boner. Course, now that I'm older, I don't think that's likely, but as a teen, it was odd.
 
2013-03-15 09:54:49 PM

ambercat: ReverendJasen: Why do people keep trying to perpetuate this myth that children are all asexual and non-gendered?
We are born with our sex and gender.  Some may display their behavorial traits later than others, but we have them in our DNA before we're born.

I think because thinking of kids being sexual beings is creepy for some people. Adults (normal adults) are not attracted to children, therefor I think they tend to view them as being asexual since they aren't sexual to them. While some people find it 'cute' when children have crushes on much older children, teens or adults, there's other people like me who have the internal bleeergh reaction when I realized the little boys I was baby sitting climbing into my lap were faaar more interested in my boobs than the girls and the lap sitting and trying to get close to me was not 100% asexual comfort. It was just weird because until then I had thought of young children as asexual and the idea that kids that young were viewing me in any kind of sexual context freaked me out. I don't really know why, but I didn't really like it. I think it's easier for adults just not to think about that at all when they're dealing with kids.


Yeah, my cousin had the same realization when she started hanging out with other parents and their kid. One little boy was always trying to feel her up. Unfortunately, it's probably because he was sexualized early on by either repeated viewings of someone having sex or through active molestation. He used to say all sorts of inappropriate things as well. I can't remember any examples, but it was stuff you'd expect a middle schooler to know, not a 4 year old. He was the only who tried to feel her up repeatedly, but she definitely noticed other boys wanting hugs and laps from her.
 
2013-03-15 10:00:16 PM

Talos: Hmmm...this is too obvious. I'm calling fake.


I see today isn't your first day on the internet.
 
2013-03-15 10:03:36 PM

Soup4Bonnie: Mike Chewbacca: When my cousin's son was 3, his dad TOTALLY caught him flirting with the hot redheaded barista at Starbucks.

How does a 3 year old flirt?


When my niece was three she hit on my (late 30's) boyfriend and asked him to come home with her.  He was more than a little surprised!
 
2013-03-15 10:05:40 PM

ambercat: ReverendJasen: Why do people keep trying to perpetuate this myth that children are all asexual and non-gendered?
We are born with our sex and gender.  Some may display their behavorial traits later than others, but we have them in our DNA before we're born.

I think because thinking of kids being sexual beings is creepy for some people. Adults (normal adults) are not attracted to children, therefor I think they tend to view them as being asexual since they aren't sexual to them. While some people find it 'cute' when children have crushes on much older children, teens or adults, there's other people like me who have the internal bleeergh reaction when I realized the little boys I was baby sitting climbing into my lap were faaar more interested in my boobs than the girls and the lap sitting and trying to get close to me was not 100% asexual comfort. It was just weird because until then I had thought of young children as asexual and the idea that kids that young were viewing me in any kind of sexual context freaked me out. I don't really know why, but I didn't really like it. I think it's easier for adults just not to think about that at all when they're dealing with kids.


Kids are not asexual.  The instinct is there at birth.  I got a farking 3 year old kind of nephew (it's my boyfriend's nephew) bringing me candy and grass he thinks is just as good as flowers to me with his face flushed as he does it.  Kids just don't think about sexuality the same as adults because the "sex" in sexuality is not there yet.  They have no apprehension toward affection.  It is not until adults come in the picture to wag their fingers at them that they start learning what is and is not acceptable behavior, which shapes their idea of what should and should not be, which then leads to shame and guilt.
 
2013-03-15 10:11:04 PM

WeenerGord: Does Anita Bryant know teh gays are buying orange juice?!!?


And that gets you on my favorites list, something I should have done long ago.
 
2013-03-15 10:14:51 PM

Caffandtranqs: Kids are not asexual.  The instinct is there at birth.  I got a farking 3 year old kind of nephew (it's my boyfriend's nephew) bringing me candy and grass he thinks is just as good as flowers to me with his face flushed as he does it.  Kids just don't think about sexuality the same as adults because the "sex" in sexuality is not there yet.


Bonding =/= Sexuality

In other words, sexuality without the sex, is just plain old bonding.  People seek affection and approval and simple intimacy from everyone, according to their tastes of course, all without sex and through all ages.

If you think a kid giving you grass because he thinks he's giving you flowers is tied to sexuality, you're destined to have a seat over there...
 
2013-03-15 10:15:14 PM
s1.aecdn.com
 
2013-03-15 10:16:00 PM
omeganuepsilon

Answer being "no reason, you did nothing" lets the kid know he's drama queening for absolutely no reason, without beating him over the head with it.

Whoa there sparky, back the fark up. The fear of potentially losing your familial connections, given the (now, thankfully, diminishing) amount of parents who go absolute bonkers when their snowflakes come out, is not what I would call "drama queening for absolutely no reason". I've lived through that agonizing, crippling fear that plagued me from the age of 11, and that mind set that emblazoned on my mind before I even had a grip on the world. This shiat can leave veritable scars.
 
2013-03-15 10:20:51 PM

ambercat: ambercat: ReverendJasen: Why do people keep trying to perpetuate this myth that children are all asexual and non-gendered?
We are born with our sex and gender.  Some may display their behavorial traits later than others, but we have them in our DNA before we're born.

I think because thinking of kids being sexual beings is creepy for some people. Adults (normal adults) are not attracted to children, therefor I think they tend to view them as being asexual since they aren't sexual to them. While some people find it 'cute' when children have crushes on much older children, teens or adults, there's other people like me who have the internal bleeergh reaction when I realized the little boys I was baby sitting climbing into my lap were faaar more interested in my boobs than the girls and the lap sitting and trying to get close to me was not 100% asexual comfort. It was just weird because until then I had thought of young children as asexual and the idea that kids that young were viewing me in any kind of sexual context freaked me out. I don't really know why, but I didn't really like it. I think it's easier for adults just not to think about that at all when they're dealing with kids.

Actually, now that I've gone ahead and posted I realized why I didn't like it. Because I want to be able to hug and pick up small children without worrying I'm giving some 6 year old a baby boner. Course, now that I'm older, I don't think that's likely, but as a teen, it was odd.


Well, that part is physically impossible, so you didn't have that to worry about. Also, it's less "I want to bone her" and more "She's pretty." They have the instincts, but they don't understand the instincts yet.
 
2013-03-15 10:21:23 PM
Yeah, there's no way little kids can have a sexuality.

mmyhasptymouth.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com
 
2013-03-15 10:24:37 PM

omeganuepsilon: Caffandtranqs: Kids are not asexual.  The instinct is there at birth.  I got a farking 3 year old kind of nephew (it's my boyfriend's nephew) bringing me candy and grass he thinks is just as good as flowers to me with his face flushed as he does it.  Kids just don't think about sexuality the same as adults because the "sex" in sexuality is not there yet.

Bonding =/= Sexuality

In other words, sexuality without the sex, is just plain old bonding.  People seek affection and approval and simple intimacy from everyone, according to their tastes of course, all without sex and through all ages.

If you think a kid giving you grass because he thinks he's giving you flowers is tied to sexuality, you're destined to have a seat over there...


I just said to take the sex out.  The kid don't bring anyone else candy and grass, and I'm in a house full of people as this occurs.  My in-laws think it's farking cute because he does not act this way to others.   Simple stuff here.  He will be liking girls in the future.  He just does not see too many right now because he gets taken care of in the home.
 
2013-03-15 10:33:47 PM

ambercat: Actually, now that I've gone ahead and posted I realized why I didn't like it. Because I want to be able to hug and pick up small children without worrying I'm giving some 6 year old a baby boner.


I don't list awesome quotes in my profile, but if I did this'd be one of them.
 
2013-03-15 10:34:46 PM
t0.gstatic.com

"Cap'n, we always knew you were a Whoopsie."
 
2013-03-15 10:37:23 PM

LoneWolf343: ambercat: ambercat: ReverendJasen: Why do people keep trying to perpetuate this myth that children are all asexual and non-gendered?
We are born with our sex and gender.  Some may display their behavorial traits later than others, but we have them in our DNA before we're born.

I think because thinking of kids being sexual beings is creepy for some people. Adults (normal adults) are not attracted to children, therefor I think they tend to view them as being asexual since they aren't sexual to them. While some people find it 'cute' when children have crushes on much older children, teens or adults, there's other people like me who have the internal bleeergh reaction when I realized the little boys I was baby sitting climbing into my lap were faaar more interested in my boobs than the girls and the lap sitting and trying to get close to me was not 100% asexual comfort. It was just weird because until then I had thought of young children as asexual and the idea that kids that young were viewing me in any kind of sexual context freaked me out. I don't really know why, but I didn't really like it. I think it's easier for adults just not to think about that at all when they're dealing with kids.

Actually, now that I've gone ahead and posted I realized why I didn't like it. Because I want to be able to hug and pick up small children without worrying I'm giving some 6 year old a baby boner. Course, now that I'm older, I don't think that's likely, but as a teen, it was odd.

Well, that part is physically impossible, so you didn't have that to worry about. Also, it's less "I want to bone her" and more "She's pretty." They have the instincts, but they don't understand the instincts yet.


I'm sorry, but did you just say that little boys can't get erections?
 
2013-03-15 10:40:21 PM

omeganuepsilon: Caffandtranqs: Kids are not asexual.  The instinct is there at birth.  I got a farking 3 year old kind of nephew (it's my boyfriend's nephew) bringing me candy and grass he thinks is just as good as flowers to me with his face flushed as he does it.  Kids just don't think about sexuality the same as adults because the "sex" in sexuality is not there yet.

Bonding =/= Sexuality

In other words, sexuality without the sex, is just plain old bonding.  People seek affection and approval and simple intimacy from everyone, according to their tastes of course, all without sex and through all ages.

If you think a kid giving you grass because he thinks he's giving you flowers is tied to sexuality, you're destined to have a seat over there...


There is no reason the child would not want to forge bonds with the actual sisters-in-law.  He ignores them and can't seem to remebr their names since his birth, but he remembers mine for some reason.  He is a little heterosexual boy who acts out his instincts.  That's all it is.  He will have future crushes on the girls he is finally around and then do etc.
 
2013-03-15 10:49:57 PM

dragonchild: SIX???  What's there to know about a six-year-old's sexual orientation?  When I was six I was. . . well. . . six!  I was years away from my cooties phase, let alone being attracted to anyone.


That's when the "incident" occurred.
 
2013-03-15 10:53:09 PM

Mike Chewbacca: silvervial: BolloxReader: dragonchild: SIX???  What's there to know about a six-year-old's sexual orientation?  When I was six I was. . . well. . . six!  I was years away from my cooties phase, let alone being attracted to anyone.

I guess I was an odd bird, that was the age I started really noticing women. Of course I didn't actually act on that until high school. And I couldn't have done anything about it at the time anyway.

But yeah some young kids do get urges even if they don't yet know what they mean.

When I was little, I was a complete tomboy and spent most of my time running around, getting dirty, climbing trees, and playing football and soccer with the boys. I hated wearing dresses or skirts or doing my hair and only had dolls I was given, never asked for. I also had a hell of a matchbox car collection that I carried around in a special case.

But I also liked watching Tarzan on TV. The star was Ron Ely, and I thought he was smokin' hot, or however I thought of him with my little-girl vocabulary. I had no idea why I liked watching him run around in the jungle in only his tiny loincloth but boy, did I ever!

So I always knew I was straight, even though I didn't like to do anything that most girls liked to do and had no idea what sex was for many more years after that, but I might have confused my parents...

My sis was a total tomboy. Still is. She's still angry that Mom and Dad refused to buy her "boy's" toys like Transformers and GI Joes and Matchbox cars. But she's totally, 100% straight, and them not buying her the toys she wanted had nothing to do with her heterosexuality.


does she like guns? is she single? *hopefully*
 
2013-03-15 10:53:22 PM
To those saying that you don't know at 6 years old what a child's sexual orientation is, you're wrong.  I'm an elementary teacher and haven't been wrong yet.  Getting to watch these little ones grow, mature, and become their own person is so amazing to get to watch.  It's seriously one of the best perks about teaching.

/and summer vacation
 
2013-03-15 10:59:27 PM
i.imgflip.com
 
2013-03-15 11:05:07 PM

Watubi: Uh, Dad?  Mike isn't gay


goddammit
 
2013-03-15 11:08:18 PM

cynicalbastard: [t0.gstatic.com image 256x192]

"Cap'n, we always knew you were a Whoopsie."


He was fabulous in that role.  Stole the movie IMO.
 
2013-03-15 11:11:35 PM

trappedspirit: dragonchild: SIX???  What's there to know about a six-year-old's sexual orientation?  When I was six I was. . . well. . . six!  I was years away from my cooties phase, let alone being attracted to anyone.

That's when the "incident" occurred.


I sense dragonchild may need some soft music and a puppet to give us the full story of his childhood.
 
2013-03-15 11:16:45 PM

Mike Chewbacca: I'm sorry, but did you just say that little boys can't get erections?


Perhaps unusual, but not impossible. I didn't until I was 11, and I didn't learn until I was much older that I had probably been in the minority there. Might have had something to do with hormone levels, might have been psychological, I don't know for sure - but things all worked out in the end.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-03-15 11:17:35 PM
Kid:"I'm gay"
Dad:"I know. And you still have to clean out the garage."
Kid:"Fark!"
 
2013-03-15 11:19:30 PM
Ya, it wasn't sexual. It was just a thing. I remember riding my bike to the elementary school so I could give D**** W***** a ride back after football practice. It took me a number of years to realize I had a monster crush on him back in elementary school. He was my first boyfriend. He figured it out and was a little ackward around me. I didn't figure it out and had a mad crush on him.
 
2013-03-15 11:20:23 PM
GoSurfing

Most recent thing I've read (actually, the only thing I've seen beyond anecdotal stuff) is a freshly published paper that suggests sexual orientation has more to do with epigenetics than genetics.  They concluded there wasn't exactly a 'gay gene' but that it had more to do with factors effecting the genotype and expression of genes, likely transgenerational or in utero... I'm not an expert on it, so I didn't fully understand the paper.  Here's a synopsis:

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/253971.php

The medical consensus aside from this is that they don't really seem to know the answer to your question on how homosexuality comes about.  There seem to be some genetic markers, but not enough to explain sexual orientation althogether.
 
2013-03-15 11:24:20 PM

Mike Chewbacca: LoneWolf343: ambercat: ambercat: ReverendJasen: Why do people keep trying to perpetuate this myth that children are all asexual and non-gendered?
We are born with our sex and gender.  Some may display their behavorial traits later than others, but we have them in our DNA before we're born.

I think because thinking of kids being sexual beings is creepy for some people. Adults (normal adults) are not attracted to children, therefor I think they tend to view them as being asexual since they aren't sexual to them. While some people find it 'cute' when children have crushes on much older children, teens or adults, there's other people like me who have the internal bleeergh reaction when I realized the little boys I was baby sitting climbing into my lap were faaar more interested in my boobs than the girls and the lap sitting and trying to get close to me was not 100% asexual comfort. It was just weird because until then I had thought of young children as asexual and the idea that kids that young were viewing me in any kind of sexual context freaked me out. I don't really know why, but I didn't really like it. I think it's easier for adults just not to think about that at all when they're dealing with kids.

Actually, now that I've gone ahead and posted I realized why I didn't like it. Because I want to be able to hug and pick up small children without worrying I'm giving some 6 year old a baby boner. Course, now that I'm older, I don't think that's likely, but as a teen, it was odd.

Well, that part is physically impossible, so you didn't have that to worry about. Also, it's less "I want to bone her" and more "She's pretty." They have the instincts, but they don't understand the instincts yet.

I'm sorry, but did you just say that little boys can't get erections?


Please don't make Google it to double-check.
 
2013-03-15 11:28:49 PM
i651.photobucket.com
Big Daddy would've supported Brick's coming out

But there was too much MENDACITY

// Also, Maggie was smokin' hawt
 
2013-03-15 11:32:06 PM
Since we're sharing coming out stories.

A few years ago I suffered a complete mental breakdown. The struggles of living with undiagnosed and untreated OCD eventually became too much for me to keep hidden. I was hospitalized and my marriage fell apart. Eventually I was released from the hospital feeling like I had been completely torn apart. I had lost my sanity, my lively-hood, my wife, and my home. I was now left feeling very much like a newborn. I was in effect rebuilding my life from scratch.

My fear of what was going on in my head and how people would judge me made me hide my mental illness until it almost destroyed me. I had decided that I wouldn't do that any more. I came out of the closet of mental illness and it was liberating. It was now something I owned and could not be used against me.

But I was also now single, my marriage of 24 years was over. This meant I would be dating and building new personal relationships. I thought hard about that. I had regretted not ever coming to terms with the fact that I had a mental disorder before it almost destroyed me. I was now also being given a chance to look again at what else I had kept hidden. The truth is, I have always been more attracted to boys than to girls. Don't get me wrong, girls are hot and all, but for me guys are hotter. It's been that way since as long as I can remember. But like the OCD that was wrecking havoc in my brain, I felt ashamed of those feelings ever since I was a kid. It was easier to just channel my sexuality into what was socially acceptable than it was to live a life true to myself. I had decided if I could come out of the closet of my mental illness and be better for it I should do the same with my sexuality as well. So I did, to my friends.

I didn't come out to my parents though. I had figured I'd wait until I was in a relationship with someone then I'd do it. My stepbrother came out to my Mom and Stepdad though and the next weekend when I went down to visit my Mom took me aside and said "When Steve came out last week he said it was the hardest thing he ever had to do so I just wanted you to know that we know you're gay and we love you. Everyone should be free to be who they are with family".

I am out with everyone now. My friends, my kids, my parents, everyone. Nobody changed their opinion of me. Nobody loved me any less. I am truly fortunate to have lived a life where I have been able to surround myself with people who are so awesome. I wish everyone could be so lucky.
 
2013-03-15 11:36:00 PM

findthefish: [img694.imageshack.us image 642x477]


I see what you did there, Anita.
 
2013-03-15 11:45:44 PM

kpaxoid: Tropicana IS the best mass-produced orange juice in the world.


The smell from the Tropicana factory is the most wonderful smell in the world.

Tropicana-related CSB: When my mom was young, she went to the same church as Anthony Rossi, the guy who started Tropicana. When she was in her early-20s, she was trying to save money to go study in the UK when someone anonymously donated the money for her to go. I'm not sure how, but she found out some years later that it was Mr. Rossi was the one who had given the money. I'm pretty sure that the reason that, unlike my insular tea party relatives, my mom raised us to be the kind of people who weren't afraid of the outside world was because during her formative years she went off and lived outside the US. That's not the kind of opportunity that most children of Pennsylvania dairy farmers--even Pennsylvania dairy farmers who up and moved to Florida in the '60s--get, and it was because of Tropicana.

/end threadjack
 
2013-03-15 11:48:13 PM
I bet the OJ had "Pulp"
 
2013-03-15 11:50:16 PM

theropod: When *I* was six, I saw that poster of "Star Wars", where Luke's shirt is spread open down to his bellybutton, and I remember thinking, "THAT scene wasn't in the movie!"

/yeah, I was gay at six
//eventually I noticed Leia on the poster too


I had a crush on a boy in my kindergarten class. I sat right behind him. The first time I realized how attractive men were was when Footloose came out. I was 9. I didn't actually come out until in was 25 because I was Mormon. I regret coming out so late because college could have been so different.
 
2013-03-15 11:53:07 PM

cyberspacedout: Mike Chewbacca: I'm sorry, but did you just say that little boys can't get erections?

Perhaps unusual, but not impossible. I didn't until I was 11, and I didn't learn until I was much older that I had probably been in the minority there. Might have had something to do with hormone levels, might have been psychological, I don't know for sure - but things all worked out in the end.


Not unusual, not impossible. My mother in law is a nurse, so normal body stuff doesn't bother her to talk about, so she's made jokes about both my husband and his brother's discovery of their own body. A few people I've known have been surprised by their boys' arousal. I've known a few mothers who have little girls who get self-aware about their own bodies by 3-5 years old. Its a "touchy" subject to not make them ashamed of their sexuality.
 
2013-03-15 11:58:02 PM
Even if my son did ping my gaydar when he was six, I don't think it would be fair to him to try and make my mind up about his sexuality at that age.  Sexuality is something that grows and evolves, even if there is some innate baseline parameters.  I don't want to box him into something he's not or something that doesn't describe him fully, even if it's in my own mind.
 
2013-03-16 12:10:37 AM

FuryOfFirestorm: Acharne: Dr_Gene: Acharne: My parents are lesbians.


If you're a guy and your parents are lesbians, they're not telling you the whole story.

/Y-Chromosome in the woodpile, perhaps?
// NNTAWWT

OK here goes: Mom has always been a lesbian. Once and only once she got drunk and slept with a dude (not sure if it was in a woodpile, but she must have been piled by wood. Y she did that, I don't know). A couple weeks after that she hooked up with a new lady and they fell in love. Shortly after that mom realised she was pregnant with me. Big changes. They agree to raise me together. *BAM* 32 years pass and here we are, in this thread.  There is more to the story but this is Fark and I'm already causing many pairs of pants to stir by simply mentioning a lesbian having sex with a dude once.

My mom got pregnant with me by my dad, and with my half-sister by another guy before she realized she was a lesbian. She's been blissfully dick-free since 1982.


You should really make her a t-shirt with that slogan.
 
2013-03-16 12:12:55 AM

foxy_canuck: GoSurfing

Most recent thing I've read (actually, the only thing I've seen beyond anecdotal stuff) is a freshly published paper that suggests sexual orientation has more to do with epigenetics than genetics.  They concluded there wasn't exactly a 'gay gene' but that it had more to do with factors effecting the genotype and expression of genes, likely transgenerational or in utero... I'm not an expert on it, so I didn't fully understand the paper.  Here's a synopsis:

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/253971.php

The medical consensus aside from this is that they don't really seem to know the answer to your question on how homosexuality comes about.  There seem to be some genetic markers, but not enough to explain sexual orientation althogether.


Of course there's not a single "gay gene".  Such a gene would never survive, even as a recessive trait.  That doesn't, and never has, meant gayness is not genetic.

The fact is, very few traits (let alone complex traits like human behavior) follow nice Mendelian dominant/recessive patterns.  Oftentimes a bunch of genes combine to produce a single trait.  Also, a lot of proteins have more than one use in the body, so a single gene can affect several traits.  Given that nearly all human behaviors seem to be influenced by genes in some way, it'd be ridiculous if homosexuality wasn't.  But that doesn't mean there a single gene that if you get R-variant then BAM You're Gay.  It just means certain combinations of genes make someone predisposed to being gay.

Those genes could affect other traits, as well.  For instance (this is hypothetical) a gene variant that makes a male person more likely to be gay might also modify the vocal tract to give them a more lispy voice.  You get a correlation between a lisp and homosexuality, which is then culturally reinforced, and you end up with a stereotype.

It's worth noting that all gregarious animals have a percentage of individuals who don't participate in reproduction; it's too way common not for it to be an evolutionarily advantageous trait for populations.  So there could very well be an evolutionary advantage to producing a percentage of gay humans.

/quiz on monday
 
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