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(KGW Portland)   Man tries to remove wedding ring by shooting it off his finger. Not surprisingly, alcohol was involved   (kgw.com) divider line 50
    More: Dumbass, wedding rings  
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4820 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2013 at 4:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-15 02:23:59 PM  
Shooting off a wedding ring?  Pffft, I know some one that opens beers with his gun.

fsa.zedge.net
 
2013-03-15 02:40:24 PM  
"The gunshot badly mangled Malespini's finger, but didn't remove the ring, police said. "

Sorry, I laughed at that, even this is one of those really dastardly strains of DV: self-harm.  Sad, but that irony is just delicious.
 
2013-03-15 02:41:15 PM  
Dudes on FaceBook, seems normal.
 
2013-03-15 03:38:56 PM  
Jeez, whatever happened to some dish soap, or maybe hand lotion?
 
2013-03-15 04:02:00 PM  
Jeee.  I guess this means it's over then, huh?
 
2013-03-15 04:02:56 PM  
First, it's the engagement ring.

Then, it's the wedding ring.

Finally, it's the suffering.
 
2013-03-15 04:03:40 PM  
I have never been drunk enough for that to seem like a good idea.  And I have been quite drunk.

Maybe I need to try harder...
 
2013-03-15 04:03:56 PM  
sounds fat
 
2013-03-15 04:05:13 PM  

blatz514: Shooting off a wedding ring?  Pffft, I know some one that opens beers with his gun.

[fsa.zedge.net image 480x320]


twisttops are generally the easier to remove with your penis.

pulltabs are only awkward till you get under them. then it's easy.
 
2013-03-15 04:05:51 PM  
It's pretty funny if you imagine it as some bitter aging fat soon-to-be divorcee drowning his sorrows.

It gets HILARIOUS if you imagine it as some mid-life crisis with a combover in a dark bar who see's a hot bar fly and suddenly realizes he's still wearing his wedding band and it wont come off and he panics.
 
2013-03-15 04:07:27 PM  
Alcohol was probably involved in getting the ring on too.
 
2013-03-15 04:07:39 PM  
Stood his ground
 
2013-03-15 04:08:07 PM  
Who's laughing now?
 
2013-03-15 04:11:22 PM  
Fingerbang.
 
2013-03-15 04:11:55 PM  

relaxitsjustme: Alcohol was probably involved in getting the ring on too.


And quite possibly another gun
 
2013-03-15 04:12:39 PM  
gun control story planted by the government
 
2013-03-15 04:12:41 PM  
Maybe it was one of those titanium rings
 
2013-03-15 04:12:46 PM  
When reached for comment he said, "Totally worth it."
 
2013-03-15 04:15:34 PM  

Osomatic: Jeez, whatever happened to some dish soap, or maybe hand lotion?


Or butter. It saved my marriage

/not really
 
2013-03-15 04:15:46 PM  
That's so rancorous in Racine.
 
2013-03-15 04:16:22 PM  
♫This diamond ring doesn't shine for me anymore....♪and this diamond ring doesn't mean what it did before
 
2013-03-15 04:16:46 PM  

lunkhed: That's so rancorous in Racine.


Thats rong thread as well.
 
2013-03-15 04:19:35 PM  
He might be getting out of it cheap if all he has to give up is a finger.
 
2013-03-15 04:20:44 PM  
Was his finger black?
 
2013-03-15 04:20:57 PM  

Marquis de Sod: Osomatic: Jeez, whatever happened to some dish soap, or maybe hand lotion?

Or butter. It saved my marriage

/not really


I would've believed you.  Butter makes everything better.  EVERYTHING.
 
2013-03-15 04:21:12 PM  
Responsible gun owner?

//someone had to go there
 
2013-03-15 04:23:16 PM  
Not the first or last time a person tried to shoot his way out of prison
 
2013-03-15 04:36:42 PM  
I was surprised this did not have a Florida tag.
 
2013-03-15 04:45:13 PM  
I've gotten into some good, drunken fights with my wife.  But I never thought it was a good idea to go, "YEAH?!  WELL, WATCH THIS!!!  I'll SHOW YOU, BIATCH!!!"  BLAM!!(finger goes flying)

That is just so full of hysterically stupid.
 
2013-03-15 04:48:51 PM  

hutchkc: Responsible gun owner?

//someone had to go there


It seems he's being held responsible.
 
2013-03-15 04:52:50 PM  

Osomatic: Jeez, whatever happened to some dish soap, or maybe hand lotion?


Do you seriously think this dude has soap or lotion??

Besides, Fark's resident gun nuts are always telling us that guns are nothing but tools, so this guy was merely using a tool to remove the ring. No biggie.

Actually, HE is the tool.
 
2013-03-15 04:53:51 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-15 04:57:29 PM  
Jeez.  Why is alcohol still legal?
 
2013-03-15 05:01:05 PM  

TheOther: Fingerbang.


Over in one. There's nothing more to be said on this.
 
2013-03-15 05:03:26 PM  

frankencj: Jeez.  Why is alcohol still legal?


because the 21st shanked the 18th on its way to buy cigarettes.
 
2013-03-15 05:04:00 PM  

mikaloyd: [i.imgur.com image 395x263]


I was thinking the same thing.

I think that Ohio and Pennsylvania are neck and neck in the race to be the next state that gets it's own tag.

Texas isn't far behind.
 
2013-03-15 05:05:06 PM  

Lorelle: Osomatic: Jeez, whatever happened to some dish soap, or maybe hand lotion?

Do you seriously think this dude has soap or lotion??

Besides, Fark's resident gun nuts are always telling us that guns are nothing but tools, so this guy was merely using a tool to remove the ring. No biggie.

Actually, HE is the tool.


Sometimes, idiots attempt to use tools for purposes other than that for which they were intended.  Thus, my girlfriend will use a steak knife as a screwdriver, or to remove candle wax that has dripped onto the floor.
 
2013-03-15 05:16:44 PM  
I understand his sentiment.
 
2013-03-15 05:25:59 PM  
Tonight we will be serving Finger Alfredo.
 
2013-03-15 05:32:27 PM  
Since it was technically a DV call, he should have his conviction shortly and his firearms confiscated.
 
2013-03-15 05:32:31 PM  

uncleacid: Tonight we will be serving Finger Alfredo.


Oddly enough, that's what the chef did just before he made your meal.
 
2013-03-15 05:42:04 PM  
OK - All you guys that just discovered boldface?  Please forget it.
 
2013-03-15 05:45:33 PM  
www.utopiatools.com

Ring cutters, a cheap and great addition to any household, you may never need them but if you ever do it will save you a lot of cost in an ER visit and they work for many things
 
2013-03-15 05:51:18 PM  

WillofJ2: [www.utopiatools.com image 492x316]

Ring cutters, a cheap and great addition to any household, you may never need them but if you ever do it will save you a lot of cost in an ER visit and they work for many things


A popsicle stick between the finger and ring, a dremel with a cutofff wheel, and steady hands.
 
2013-03-15 06:02:30 PM  
A for effort, Bubba.
 
2013-03-15 06:17:34 PM  

WillofJ2: Ring cutters, a cheap and great addition to any household, you may never need them but if you ever do it will save you a lot of cost in an ER visit and they work for many things


So Im guessing you use a stainless cawk ring instead of a rubber one.
 
2013-03-15 06:22:13 PM  
ob-Doohan

sighroll.com
 
2013-03-15 06:31:54 PM  

Oldiron_79: WillofJ2: Ring cutters, a cheap and great addition to any household, you may never need them but if you ever do it will save you a lot of cost in an ER visit and they work for many things

So Im guessing you use a stainless cawk ring instead of a rubber one.


Actually that was my first intro into ring cutters. not on me of course, friend has some sex ring that went around the scrotum and penis and was stuck, did not want to go to the ER and we call a buddy of our from the fire dept that had one, and couple uncomfortable twist and lots of laughs it popped off, never lives it down, and he jammed a finger playing ball and have to cut his wedding ring off with it, same woman involved in both
 
2013-03-15 06:37:05 PM  
ob-Allen

lh3.ggpht.com

Can't think of any more.
 
2013-03-15 07:14:41 PM  

WillofJ2: Oldiron_79: WillofJ2: Ring cutters, a cheap and great addition to any household, you may never need them but if you ever do it will save you a lot of cost in an ER visit and they work for many things

So Im guessing you use a stainless cawk ring instead of a rubber one.

Actually that was my first intro into ring cutters. not on me of course, friend has some sex ring that went around the scrotum and penis and was stuck, did not want to go to the ER and we call a buddy of our from the fire dept that had one, and couple uncomfortable twist and lots of laughs it popped off, never lives it down, and he jammed a finger playing ball and have to cut his wedding ring off with it, same woman involved in both


Called it
 
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