If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Week)   Science says babies are jerks   (theweek.com) divider line 46
    More: Amusing, cognitive sciences, green beans  
•       •       •

7692 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2013 at 9:59 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-03-15 10:03:54 AM
But how do they taste?
 
2013-03-15 10:04:34 AM
Well? Have you babysat recently? They're needy and whiny, 100% of the time, whether or not they've crapped themselves!
 
2013-03-15 10:05:49 AM
Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert.
 
2013-03-15 10:06:11 AM
The human brain doesn't finish maturing until the early to mid 20s. Areas of the brain that regulate social cognition and empathy aren't complete until that time, leading to self behavior, irrational choices, volatile emotional states, and lack of long term planning.

So, yes, children, including teenagers, can by definition be jerks.
 
2013-03-15 10:06:52 AM
They can't hold their liquor either.
 
2013-03-15 10:07:16 AM
I wholeheartedly agree. My one year old woke me three times at an ungodly hour, bit my nipple, scratched my face, and left me a stinky surprise in his morning diaper. Jerk.

/so very tired
 
2013-03-15 10:07:22 AM

Crewmannumber6: They can't hold their liquor either.


They can't hold my liquor, either.
 
2013-03-15 10:08:02 AM
Did she actually say "Liberal bleeding heart"?

Shouldn't she be.. objective? This is science we're talking about.

/also babies are tiny sociopaths.
 
2013-03-15 10:08:45 AM
I knew babies were jerks; I'm glad to finally have proof.
 
2013-03-15 10:08:57 AM
www.thepaincomics.com
 
2013-03-15 10:08:59 AM
Your babies are jerks.

Mine is precious.
 
2013-03-15 10:10:05 AM
Well, human beings are jerks.
We have to make an effort to act with empathy and kindness.
 
2013-03-15 10:10:22 AM

Kristoph57: Did she actually say "Liberal bleeding heart"?

Shouldn't she be.. objective? This is science we're talking about.


i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-03-15 10:10:29 AM
Babies are ok, its when they start talking that its all downhill from there.
 
2013-03-15 10:11:30 AM
How is this not obvious? They scream all night long, destroying the sanity of the people who keep them alive.  And all day long, disturbing the peace of anyone around them. They crap and puke all over everything. They exist only to eat. They never say thank you, and wouldn't get your back in a fight.

Of course they're jerks.
 
2013-03-15 10:17:26 AM
Obscure?
i209.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-15 10:18:18 AM
I'm thinking this has to do with the concept of cautious reciprocity. For the social contract to work, cheaters need to be punished, and usually in a public way. Obviously, to a baby, someone who likes green beans is outside the pale and must be dealt with accordingly.
 
2013-03-15 10:20:41 AM

theorellior: I'm thinking this has to do with the concept of cautious reciprocity. For the social contract to work, cheaters need to be punished, and usually in a public way. Obviously, to a baby, someone who likes green beans is outside the pale and must be dealt with accordingly.


"Punish the Beaners"? Babies register en masse for Tea Party.
 
2013-03-15 10:36:12 AM
bbsimg.ngfiles.com
It's the DNA talking.
 
2013-03-15 10:42:43 AM

natmar_76: The human brain doesn't finish maturing until the early to mid 20s. Areas of the brain that regulate social cognition and empathy aren't complete until that time, leading to self behavior, irrational choices, volatile emotional states, and lack of long term planning.


i105.photobucket.com
At least the 20s.
 
2013-03-15 11:05:57 AM
Humans are at their most evil when they're two years old.  Just imagine if a two-year-old had the strength and cunning of an adult but not the emotional maturity and social sensitivity.
 
2013-03-15 11:06:17 AM

natmar_76: The human brain doesn't finish maturing until the early to mid 20s. Areas of the brain that regulate social cognition and empathy aren't complete until that time, leading to self behavior, irrational choices, volatile emotional states, and lack of long term planning.

So, yes, children, including teenagers, can by definition be jerks.


You there! Stop talking sense here on FARK.com! We'll have none of that!
 
2013-03-15 11:14:58 AM

bifford: Humans are at their most evil when they're two years old.  Just imagine if a two-year-old had the strength and cunning of an adult but not the emotional maturity and social sensitivity.


Just like Obammma.
 
2013-03-15 11:31:32 AM

Ned Stark: Your babies are jerks.

Mine is precious.


To you.

To everybody else, it's a jerk.
 
2013-03-15 11:42:22 AM
Their conclusions are an awful big stretch from the the actual observations.

Maybe human tribalism is instinctive and the preference is the only deciding factor. The babies may not be making a moralistic judgement call, only choosing what is more familiar and thus "safe".
 
2013-03-15 11:46:06 AM

The My Little Pony Killer: Ned Stark: Your babies are jerks.

Mine is precious.

To you.

To everybody else, it's a jerk.


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-15 11:57:00 AM
Some people are just born that way.
 
2013-03-15 12:25:13 PM
They learned it from you.
 
2013-03-15 12:34:55 PM

Beeblebrox: Obscure?
[i209.photobucket.com image 750x381]


Came for baby-punching and kitten flipping.
 
2013-03-15 12:36:43 PM
You know the difference between a baby and a rock?
You can't fark a rock.
 
2013-03-15 12:45:04 PM
It makes sense that the Baby would like the harming puppet. The puppet has the ability to harm without known social penalty. Hence the harming puppet has just established itself innately in a higher social order.

But then again, what do I know?
 
2013-03-15 01:04:52 PM
Punch and Judy have known this for a long time now.
 
2013-03-15 01:16:21 PM
My 17 month old will grab something that he can reach on a counter (or the TV stand), drop it on the floor without even looking at it, and walk away. I often wonder what the thought process or urge/instinct is that inclines him to do that.
 
2013-03-15 01:27:33 PM
Little cockblockers, hoggin' the boobies.
 
2013-03-15 01:31:08 PM

Nexzus: My 17 month old will grab something that he can reach on a counter (or the TV stand), drop it on the floor without even looking at it, and walk away. I often wonder what the thought process or urge/instinct is that inclines him to do that.


If they are anything like my 17 month old, it's to see if you react.  I swear, if you react to something, you can guarantee they will do it over, and over, and over.  Your almost better off being ambivalent.
 
2013-03-15 01:47:41 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-15 01:48:42 PM
My baby is both a jerk and smart.  This morning, he experimented with increasing levels of force until he could push his cousin over.
 
2013-03-15 02:08:07 PM
The Moral Life of Babies

Spoiler alert:  Babies are selfish and racist.

If this higher morality or higher altruism were found in babies, the case for divine creation would get just a bit stronger. But it is not present in babies. In fact, our initial moral sense appears to be biased toward our own kind.
 
2013-03-15 02:19:04 PM

MythDragon: You know the difference between a baby and a rock?
You can't fark a rock.


i0.kym-cdn.com
/hot
 
2013-03-15 03:55:58 PM
Needy Baby, Greedy Baby indeed.
 
2013-03-15 04:44:59 PM
I'm ok with this.

Its nice to know we are assholes through biology as well rather than only on our on volition...
 
2013-03-15 05:48:55 PM

mikefinch: I'm ok with this.

Its nice to know we are assholes through biology as well rather than only on our on volition...


You only think it's nice because you were predestined to think it's nice.
 
2013-03-15 07:04:19 PM

Kristoph57: Did she actually say "Liberal bleeding heart"?

Shouldn't she be.. objective? This is science we're talking about.

/also babies are tiny sociopaths.



Well, she may have tried very hard to conduct the experiments as neutrally as possible, but she is still, after all, a person with opinions and biases.  She can still feel, even if the science may be neutral.

In her case, it showed tribalism isn't caused by villainous patriarchal fascist oligarchs brainwashing the helpless and oppressed innocents; human beings are naturally born that way.  If her discovery contradicted her previous opinion, it's understandable she'd feel disappointed.
 
2013-03-15 09:19:46 PM
Babies are also stupid: http://www.onion.demon.co.uk/theonion/ other/babies/stupidbabies.htm
 
2013-03-16 12:12:05 AM
People are assholes, babies are little people, yep, that checks out
 
2013-03-16 10:51:12 AM

cettin: Nexzus: My 17 month old will grab something that he can reach on a counter (or the TV stand), drop it on the floor without even looking at it, and walk away. I often wonder what the thought process or urge/instinct is that inclines him to do that.

If they are anything like my 17 month old, it's to see if you react.  I swear, if you react to something, you can guarantee they will do it over, and over, and over.  Your almost better off being ambivalent.


I was in a leadership training class where the the instructor, at one point, was comparing leadership skills to child-rearing ones.  One comment they made that really stood out was, "ALL behaviors are rewarded, even if the reward is just being allowed to do it."
 
Displayed 46 of 46 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »





Report