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(Reuters)   Hugo Chavez died so that he could convince Christ to pick a South American as Pope. This is what Venezuelans actually believe   (reuters.com) divider line 88
    More: Hero, Hugo Chavez, Venezuelans, South American, Christ, Venezuela, Maduro, Capriles  
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3482 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2013 at 10:28 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-15 09:23:58 AM  
During one Mass for his health last year, Chavez wept in public and pleaded with God to extend his life.

God didn't listen to him then, why would they think he's listening to him now?
 
2013-03-15 10:29:47 AM  
No stranger than the basis of Scientology.
 
2013-03-15 10:30:55 AM  
This sounds as good as the best korea propoganda video
 
2013-03-15 10:31:27 AM  
Hero tag? Really subby?
 
2013-03-15 10:31:39 AM  
Makes as much sense as anything else about the pope selection process.
 
2013-03-15 10:32:21 AM  
All Venezuelans?  Or as many as Americans believe in unicorns?
 
2013-03-15 10:33:46 AM  

scottydoesntknow: During one Mass for his health last year, Chavez wept in public and pleaded with God to extend his life.

God didn't listen to him then, why would they think he's listening to him now?


Life isn't the point of life, according to Christianity. The point of life is learning to focus on faith and worship while all the other things involved with being an animal go on around you - hormones, hunger, pain, thirst, longing, doubt, sickness, heartache, confusion, fear ... All these things that might distract you from a relationship with the divine. 

So if you're in church praying for more life or the abatement of your sickness, you're doing it a little wrong, but that's okay - you're only human, and we all miss the mark. You probably should be praying for insight, and endurance, and tolerance and wisdom...
 
2013-03-15 10:34:46 AM  

alabasterblack: All Venezuelans?  Or as many as Americans believe in unicorns?


This.  But the 99% of normal sane Venezuelans are boring, so instead we get this nonsense.
 
2013-03-15 10:34:49 AM  
I believe there will come a day when I can check out what's going on in the news and hear nothing about the pope.  I believe that day will come and that's what keeps me going.  I got nothing against catholics but this pope worship stuff eludes me.
 
2013-03-15 10:36:44 AM  

trappedspirit: I believe there will come a day when I can check out what's going on in the news and hear nothing about the pope.  I believe that day will come and that's what keeps me going.  I got nothing against catholics but this pope worship stuff eludes me.


For every minute a Catholic can give you on the Pope, they can give you 3 hours on the Virgin Mary...trust me.
 
2013-03-15 10:37:10 AM  
Mugabe, quick, meet Jesus so Africa can get a Pope next!
 
2013-03-15 10:39:47 AM  
.
You think that this is the most ridiculous part about a man who, when elected from a pool of pedo-protectors, suddenly becomes infallible?
.
 
2013-03-15 10:40:14 AM  
No, they don't, and you are racist for believing that they do
 
2013-03-15 10:41:41 AM  

kiwimoogle84: No stranger than the basis of Scientologyany other religion.

 
2013-03-15 10:43:06 AM  
I'm down with that.  In fact, think how much safer we would be if supreme court justices weren't appointed until age 76.
 
2013-03-15 10:44:04 AM  
You pretty much hear a similar thing every Sunday on TV around these parts of NC. Many go even further. There was one weirdo woman who was condemning the healthcare reform as Jesus would insist you pay for healthcare rather than destroy it with free socialist care for instance. Of course the same people usually only read certain favourite sections that hightlight their own views in the first place and use religion to justify their actions they were already going to do.
 
2013-03-15 10:45:01 AM  

Farking Canuck: .
You think that this is the most ridiculous part about a man who, when elected from a pool of pedo-protectors, suddenly becomes infallible?
.


Simon Peter picked a pool of priestly pedo-protectors. How many priestly pedo-protectors did Simon Peter pick?
 
2013-03-15 10:46:29 AM  
Is it just me or does Francis look very white?
 
2013-03-15 10:46:55 AM  
Oh come on, he didn't die so he could be retroactively resurrected  as the Pope? Think big, fellas!
 
2013-03-15 10:49:39 AM  
Well, when your belief system includes human parthenogenesis, how is this a stretch?
 
2013-03-15 10:53:32 AM  

BAMFinator: Is it just me or does Francis look very white?


We are all equal in the eyes of God, child. At least that's what the all-male leadership of God's one true church tells me.
 
2013-03-15 10:54:34 AM  
I don't know what to think about this. Are Venezuelans really that retarded? I would be insulted (as a christian would) if the government hinted that a dead politician, or anyone for that matter, can influence god. It's openly saying that jeesus is short sighted and needs to be told what to do.

Lunacy!  whatever makes the crowd goes wild I guess
 
2013-03-15 10:56:30 AM  

BAMFinator: Is it just me or does Francis look very white?


He looks very.... Aryan..
 
2013-03-15 10:57:50 AM  

trappedspirit: I believe there will come a day when I can check out what's going on in the news and hear nothing about the pope.  I believe that day will come and that's what keeps me going.  I got nothing against catholics but this pope worship stuff eludes me.


There are over a billion Catholics in the world...the pope is the head of the church...it sort of is a big deal.
 
2013-03-15 11:01:21 AM  

BAMFinator: Is it just me or does Francis look very white?


He is the son of a first generation Italian immigrant.
 
2013-03-15 11:04:35 AM  
South American culturally, but not ethnically. He's still Yet Another Italian Pope.
 
2013-03-15 11:06:25 AM  

WhyKnot: BAMFinator: Is it just me or does Francis look very white?

He is the son of a first generation Italian immigrant.


Thanks

/moreyouknow . jpeg
 
2013-03-15 11:10:43 AM  
Oh for crying out loud. This guy isn't even Latino. He's a white European who was born in Argentina.
 
2013-03-15 11:11:03 AM  

PC LOAD LETTER: South American culturally, but not ethnically. He's still Yet Another Italian Pope.


Most South Americans have European heritage.
 
2013-03-15 11:11:51 AM  
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2013-03-15 11:13:08 AM  
Just as plausible:

Ghandi died to tell Buddha to go be fat somewhere else. Buddha became depressed and deep fried all the twinkies, leaving none for the rest of us and heating up the world in the process. So you see, the twin scourges of our age, global warming and the extinction of twinkies, are actually the result of insensitivity toward deities who are differently abled.

Prove me wrong.
 
2013-03-15 11:14:25 AM  
You'd think that Jesus would be more interested in keeping their oil refineries from exploding, but you'd be wrong. We don't need to pay for maintennance.
 
2013-03-15 11:14:47 AM  
Munchkin City Coroner:
Prove me wrong.

Twinkies are coming back on market.
 
2013-03-15 11:16:28 AM  

Tommy Moo: Oh for crying out loud. This guy isn't even Black. He's a Kenyan who was born in America.


There was a serious shortage of DERP in this thread so far.  Just doing my part on a Friday.
 
2013-03-15 11:25:54 AM  

Munchkin City Coroner: Just as plausible:

Ghandi died to tell Buddha to go be fat somewhere else. Buddha became depressed and deep fried all the twinkies, leaving none for the rest of us and heating up the world in the process. So you see, the twin scourges of our age, global warming and the extinction of twinkies, are actually the result of insensitivity toward deities who are differently abled.

Prove me wrong.


It doesn't feel right without some pirates included. Please throw in some pirates and re-submit.
/TYIA
 
2013-03-15 11:29:17 AM  

MNguy: Munchkin City Coroner:
Prove me wrong.

Twinkies are coming back on market.


Really??  I guess that's just proof that the Flying Spaghetti Monster loves us.  But Buddha still knows what he did...
 
2013-03-15 11:30:49 AM  

MNguy: kiwimoogle84: No stranger than the basis of Scientologyany other religion.


Gotta disagree MNguy, Scientology is way way more retarded than any other religion.  It's a fact.

Citation here (End of 5th paragraph).
 
2013-03-15 11:34:05 AM  
i49.tinypic.com
/oblig
 
2013-03-15 11:56:49 AM  
Sorta like what happened with Reagan
 
2013-03-15 11:58:10 AM  

hdhale: trappedspirit: I believe there will come a day when I can check out what's going on in the news and hear nothing about the pope.  I believe that day will come and that's what keeps me going.  I got nothing against catholics but this pope worship stuff eludes me.

For every minute a Catholic can give you on the Pope, they can give you 3 hours on the Virgin Mary...trust me.


Yep, they're so big on the 10 commandments, or in this case the "Thou shalt have no other gods before me".

But well, Jesus died for their sins.
 
2013-03-15 12:09:07 PM  

WhyKnot: trappedspirit: I believe there will come a day when I can check out what's going on in the news and hear nothing about the pope.  I believe that day will come and that's what keeps me going.  I got nothing against catholics but this pope worship stuff eludes me.

There are over a billion Catholics in the world...the pope is the head of the church...it sort of is a big deal.


Enough is enough.  They picked an old guy who at some point will go tell africans to stop using birth control.    Truly a blessing to this planet.
 
2013-03-15 12:09:34 PM  

trappedspirit: I believe there will come a day when I can check out what's going on in the news and hear nothing about the pope.


Not until next month, I'm sorry to say.  We've still got to get through "first Holy Week with new Pope" and "New Pope's First Easter."  But the first week or April, we can get back to our regularly scheduled diet of Honey Boo Boo and Kim Kardashian.

/Offer void if Kim Jon Un decides to blow something up or the DRPK army finally gets sick of his s**t and stages a coup.
 
2013-03-15 12:13:32 PM  
sphotos-c.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2013-03-15 12:30:45 PM  
This is what Venezuelans actually believe

After all, Pinochet's shenanigans in Argentina, thousands of Desaparecidos would give a compliant priest a special experience to handle annoying sex abuse complaints against his own enterprise.  What if all the old altar boys vanished by some miracle.
 
2013-03-15 12:31:05 PM  
I am just glad to have Hugo Chavez in my life. Two things I can't get enough of: dictators with big personalities and the pope. Maybe that's only one thing? IDK. I just love this stuff. I think I need to know what QuDaffy's been up to with our Lord and Savior!

/please tell me you read this in a very excited girl voice.
//No really, I love crazy dictators who don't have an influence on MY life.
 
2013-03-15 12:35:22 PM  
So, some U.S. Americans might not be the stupidest Americans after all.  And such.
 
2013-03-15 12:46:21 PM  
Jesus is too busy with Tim Tebow to listen to Hugo Chavez.
 
2013-03-15 01:04:44 PM  
Venezuelans  need to stop sampling Columbia's #1 export and no i do not mean coffee.
 
2013-03-15 01:06:30 PM  
My friend Irv Goldberg died when Chavez did, and we didn't get a Jewish pope.
 
2013-03-15 01:10:27 PM  

kiwimoogle84: No stranger than the basis of Scientology.


Have you read what Scientology believes? Sure there are severe doubts for both but on the kookiness scale Scientology has Christianity/Muslims beat. It may be close to Mormons though....

Everyone of the people who biatch about Americas religious nut jobs need to think about these kooks next time, they are a lot worse.
 
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