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(Des Moines Register)   Cop pulls over couple speeding through red lights, then winds up helping deliver their baby   (desmoinesregister.com) divider line 60
    More: Hero, Iowa, speeding, traffic stops, baby  
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4345 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2013 at 2:29 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-14 11:48:18 PM  
Sir, as someone who vehemently hates OB, allow me to salute you and buy you a beer.

I'm more than happy to take care of the squids after they get out of the chute. But eyeballs and OB still give me the creepy-crawlies.

/fainted on his OB clinical when he saw what a baby head does to an un-episostomised vagina.
 
2013-03-15 02:34:22 AM  
A woman gave birth in a hospital elevator. "Don't feel so bad," the attending nurse said sympathetically. "Last year, a woman gave birth on the front lawn of the hospital."
The woman burst into tears. "Yes," she cried. "That was me!"
 
2013-03-15 02:34:33 AM  
This police officer helped a family in distress instead or deploying his taser and pepper spray then handcuffing them before figuring out what was happening? I sure hope he doesn't lose his job over this incident.

Once upon a time police weren't almost completely adversarial and were known for being helpful. I miss those days.
 
2013-03-15 02:37:25 AM  

Mensan: This police officer helped a family in distress instead or deploying his taser and pepper spray then handcuffing them before figuring out what was happening? I sure hope he doesn't lose his job over this incident.

Once upon a time police weren't almost completely adversarial and were known for being helpful. I miss those days.


Well praise this cop for not being like the norm. (some cops would actually help, but *still* ticket the driver for speeding to make his or her quota!)

/NORM!
 
2013-03-15 02:39:03 AM  
Cool.
 
2013-03-15 02:39:36 AM  
And then gave the driver a ticket for child-endangerment!

/ I've always felt that you're either gonna make it or not; but, speeding and crazy driving puts you, your family and everyone else on the road at risk.

// maybe; and I know this is crazy, but, if you are going to be in that particular situation; maybe you should pack a go bag and keep it in your car or something?
 
2013-03-15 02:39:38 AM  
And by "helping deliver," subby means clean up the mess?
 
2013-03-15 02:40:54 AM  
If by "helping", subby meant "not interfering with", then the headline is perfectly accurate.

At least, the text of that article does not say anything about the officer actually helping. Can't watch the video. :-/
 
2013-03-15 02:47:06 AM  
Who were they delivering it to?
 
2013-03-15 02:47:10 AM  
I know this isn't a real story because the cop didn't taser their baby and shoot their dog.
 
2013-03-15 02:49:37 AM  

SpdrJay: I know this isn't a real story because the cop didn't taser their baby and shoot their dog


All dogs deserve to die. Their mongrel race is a stain on the world, and the glorious feline master race which should rightfully inhabit it!

Vermoosen de pooches ausbrautten!

Seig Meow!
 
2013-03-15 02:50:22 AM  
Okay, it's not 'hero' level, but I'd like to thank the cop who stopped when I waved him down tonight.  My car lost power about a half a block from my friend's house after a jump start.  I was sitting at a light, and then, nothing.  With no power I had no hazards on a fairly dark street.  I jumped out and was hustling to my friends house (I don't have a cell phone- and my car is an '87, being broke sucks) but the cop was the first car by and he parked behind me to keep anyone from rear-ending my car while I got my friend.  He then helped me push the car into a parking space.  He didn't deliver a baby, but thanks anyway.

(When I called AAA the guy on the other end let out some sort of strange hiccup/laugh/wow when he asked me for the make/model/year and I told him it was an '87.  He saw it on the screen but just assumed it was old information.  Usually, it's pretty reliable.)
 
2013-03-15 02:51:30 AM  

hardinparamedic: SpdrJay: I know this isn't a real story because the cop didn't taser their baby and shoot their dog

All dogs deserve to die. Their mongrel race is a stain on the world, and the glorious feline master race which should rightfully inhabit it!

Vermoosen de pooches ausbrautten!

Seig Meow!


You can't has Poland, not your's
 
2013-03-15 02:55:40 AM  

iheartscotch: hardinparamedic: SpdrJay: I know this isn't a real story because the cop didn't taser their baby and shoot their dog

All dogs deserve to die. Their mongrel race is a stain on the world, and the glorious feline master race which should rightfully inhabit it!

Vermoosen de pooches ausbrautten!

Seig Meow!

You can't has Poland, not your's


But if you put on a pig mask you can try to run.
 
2013-03-15 02:59:30 AM  

iheartscotch: You can't has Poland, not your's


Too late. They were invited. Milk was served.

nidalm.com
 
2013-03-15 02:59:59 AM  
really, what's a speeding ticket and a conviction for indecent exposure matter when you're basking in the glory of your new child?

(except for 4 points towards the cop's level 2 bonus for the month, and with 6 more points he'll have enough for a 20-use gift certificate to the local trafficked east european sex slave operation 'massage parlor' that he's also getting a few hundred $ a month to not notice.)
 
2013-03-15 03:01:16 AM  

iheartscotch: And then gave the driver a ticket for child-endangerment!

/ I've always felt that you're either gonna make it or not; but, speeding and crazy driving puts you, your family and everyone else on the road at risk.

// maybe; and I know this is crazy, but, if you are going to be in that particular situation; maybe you should pack a go bag and keep it in your car or something?


Maybe if these people had the ability to think ahead the woman wouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place.
 
2013-03-15 03:01:42 AM  

HoratioGates: Okay, it's not 'hero' level, but I'd like to thank the cop who stopped when I waved him down tonight.  My car lost power about a half a block from my friend's house after a jump start.  I was sitting at a light, and then, nothing.  With no power I had no hazards on a fairly dark street.  I jumped out and was hustling to my friends house (I don't have a cell phone- and my car is an '87, being broke sucks) but the cop was the first car by and he parked behind me to keep anyone from rear-ending my car while I got my friend.  He then helped me push the car into a parking space.  He didn't deliver a baby, but thanks anyway.

(When I called AAA the guy on the other end let out some sort of strange hiccup/laugh/wow when he asked me for the make/model/year and I told him it was an '87.  He saw it on the screen but just assumed it was old information.  Usually, it's pretty reliable.)


Its 25 years old.  Its a classic car.

Unless its a chevette or a k car or something, then... well, you deserve to be laughed at.
 
2013-03-15 03:06:06 AM  

hardinparamedic: iheartscotch: You can't has Poland, not your's

Too late. They were invited. Milk was served.


Somebody please tell me that you have got a dog named Patton. We will need him shortly.
 
2013-03-15 03:11:23 AM  

iheartscotch: hardinparamedic: iheartscotch: You can't has Poland, not your's

Too late. They were invited. Milk was served.

Somebody please tell me that you have got a dog named Patton. We will need him shortly.


Shouldn't that be "Willy"?

/obscure?
 
2013-03-15 03:14:55 AM  

OgreMagi: iheartscotch: hardinparamedic: iheartscotch: You can't has Poland, not your's

Too late. They were invited. Milk was served.

Somebody please tell me that you have got a dog named Patton. We will need him shortly.

Shouldn't that be "Willy"?

/obscure?


Meanwhile, on the Eastern Front:

twimg0-a.akamaihd.net

/this thread has officially gotten silly.
 
2013-03-15 03:15:04 AM  
I sound fat:

Unless its a chevette or a k car or something, then... well, you deserve to be laughed at.

man, don't go be knockin on chevettes.


www.autonewsbrasil.com.br


upload.wikimedia.org

i'd be so proud to drive a chevette. piece of history, right there. american auto engineering trying to emulate japanese auto engineering and coming out with something that looks like a 70's euro-coupe on steroids? oh heck yeah.
 
2013-03-15 03:17:24 AM  

the801: I sound fat:

Unless its a chevette or a k car or something, then... well, you deserve to be laughed at.

man, don't go be knockin on chevettes.


[www.autonewsbrasil.com.br image 600x367]


[upload.wikimedia.org image 672x421]

i'd be so proud to drive a chevette. piece of history, right there. american auto engineering trying to emulate japanese auto engineering and coming out with something that looks like a 70's euro-coupe on steroids? oh heck yeah.


Okay, I stand corrected.  I had no idea that 12 hp bubbles that remind the driver that someday he might be able to afford a volkswagon rabbit were so insanely cool.

Thanks for the education.
 
2013-03-15 03:46:27 AM  
 
2013-03-15 03:49:44 AM  

I sound fat: Unless its a chevette or a k car or something, then... well, you deserve to be laughed at.


Lol!  My car before it was an '87 K Car.  I had just put $20 of gas in it (back when that was a full tank) and tried to start it up.  It wouldn't start, so I popped the hood to check for the one or two things I know how to look for, and it wasn't that.  I climbed back in the car, hood still up and tried to turn it over again.  From that little crack of light between the hood and the frame I saw smoke.  I jumped out, ran around and saw smoke and a little fire.  I ran inside for a fire extinguisher.  I said, "I need the fire extinguisher, my car is on fire at the pump."  He told me to move it- to get back in the car and drive it (to be fair I hadn't told him it wouldn't start) or push it away from the pump instead of just handing me the extinguisher.

By the time he finally gave it to me and I ran back out it had burned itself out, a small fire in the electrical harness.  I sprayed a little on it for good measure, and pushed the car off to the side to wait until I could get my friend to come with tow chains to tow it.  I sold it for a buck to a guy who was doing work on my mom's house- a porch built so poorly that she eventually tore the porch off rather than deal with it.  He stiffed me for the dollar too.  He got it running again though.  Towing it was a mess too.  My friend (Farker Dieselfrost) was under the car looking for a place to hook the tow chain and tapped on a bar just as he was opening his mouth to say something.  He knocked loose a mouthful and choked on a mouthful of fire extinguishing powder.  We called poison control, when he started coughing up blood and got him to a hospital.  It wasn't a poison, just an irritant and he was okay, but it made a already rough day rougher.

As for my current '87, it came it two models, a 162 hp version (which at 2700 lbs. with a standard transmission wasn't too bad, I've seen videos of people who bored it out and supposedly got 800 hp out of it) and a sexy 62 hp version, which is what I have.  I actually kind of like the lines, but a few years back it was in an accident.  The insurance company wrote it off but I got it fixed for what they paid me, but the body shop did a lousy job with the clear coat, which peeled.  Now the only time it looks good is when it rains and looks shiny, or when it's dark out.  A few months back someone dinged it in the parking lot and jammed one of the pop-up headlights.  We bent it back out but it looks terrible.  (It's a Nissan 200SX).

I once nearly owned a fully loaded '65 Lincoln Continental.  A friend of a friend sold it to a friend of mine (try to say that 10 times fast) and my friend didn't really know it's value.  He didn't like the expensive old parts (and somehow didn't get the message that the original owner had boxes of them to spare).  Anyway, I needed a car, and he wanted to get rid of it.  It was in great shape.  He said he'd give it to me.  He was notorious for not answering phone messages, so I figured I'd catch him at band practice at the end of the week.  He sold it in the meantime for $200.  It's basically the same car, in better condition, than the guys on Pawn Stars bought for the old man for 10k to fix up.  I could have beat $200, and he didn't even let the new buyer know there were boxes of parts for it (although screw him, I suspect he knew he was stealing it.)

Anyway, to try to bring this post back around to cars and lady parts... not that car, but another old beater the same guy had, well, one of my worst I-need-mind-bleach moments came when, well, his place was the local hang out for our group, and with everyone over there all the time sometimes he and his girlfriend had a hard time finding a private moment.  Well, everyone was wondering were they were.  I walked out the door (towards my '87 K-car, no less, hows that for bringing the story back around) and rising up rhythmically out of the back seat was my butt-ass naked friend ruining the back seat ride with his girlfriend (who, actually, as bad as seeing my friend naked, I'm more glad she was not visible from my angle, those are some lady parts no one should see!)  I was so shocked I kind of forgot myself.  I went to my car, and drove off, not even thinking of what, who, oh the humanity... I left behind.  A couple minutes later, because I couldn't think of anyone else in that traumatic moment and go back inside to warn people, his sister walked out the same door.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
 
2013-03-15 04:07:22 AM  
what?

you couldn't just give me three greenlights in a day?
 
2013-03-15 04:09:14 AM  

I sound fat: the801: I sound fat:
Thanks for the education.


cruise around a party district or a high school in one of these bad boys

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&q=vauxhall+cheve tt e&tbm=isch

and you'll get way more attention than if you were driving some <80k$ bmw made in the last 20 years. and you'll have way more fun driving it. you could throw those things all around any way you wanted; there were no embedded computer systems to tell your car that it shouldn't to what you want it to. just man meets machine with no digital overrides anywhere.

also, for a good time, find a way to watch a collision between a chevette and, say, a kia. or a geo. one goes *smash*, the other gets a dent. guess which is which?

yeah, those were fine cars, even if you think they didn't go fast enough.
 
2013-03-15 04:13:09 AM  
Birthday suit the hostage.
 
2013-03-15 04:22:12 AM  

HoratioGates: Okay, it's not 'hero' level...etc.


That's nice to see.  I haven't delivered any babies, but I did push dozens of cars out of the road during my career as a patrol officer.  I always felt like an idiot when I did it, like I was primed for a photoshop, It's nice to see people appreciate it.
 
2013-03-15 04:24:57 AM  

iheartscotch: And then gave the driver a ticket for child-endangerment!

/ I've always felt that you're either gonna make it or not; but, speeding and crazy driving puts you, your family and everyone else on the road at risk.

// maybe; and I know this is crazy, but, if you are going to be in that particular situation; maybe you should pack a go bag and keep it in your car or something?


You're making a lot of terrible assumptions. I'm gonna have to cite you for reckless commenting.

/Internet sheriff. My fist is my badge.
 
2013-03-15 04:52:25 AM  
"...the driver then ran around to the passenger side and opened the door. By the time Wolfe got over there, the baby was delivered..."

Helped deliver... walked over to a car.

tomato tomahto right subby?
 
2013-03-15 07:43:20 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Maybe if these people had the ability to think ahead the woman wouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place


Same applies to your parents

// and mine
 
2013-03-15 07:45:45 AM  

Slartibartfaster: AverageAmericanGuy: Maybe if these people had the ability to think ahead the woman wouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place

Same applies to your parents

// and mine


Sorry to hear that. I was planned and wanted. My heart goes out to you that you were an accident.
 
2013-03-15 08:07:06 AM  
The headline isn't clever or funny.  It just states the facts, such as "speeding through red lights" and "Cop...winds up helping deliver" neither of which, according to the article, are true.  You're terrible, submitter.

Lalla said the police department doesn't know the name of the family

That's some fine police work, Kevin.  Isn't it SOP to run the plates before exiting the patrol car?
 
2013-03-15 08:34:02 AM  
I'll take an '87 Grand National GNX any day.

A former co-worker was in a classing gull winged Mercedes and got a flat.  They called Mercedes car help line and got a 'you're kidding' when they gave them the VIN.
 
2013-03-15 08:47:31 AM  
Hero? Nah.
 
2013-03-15 08:54:58 AM  
Cop loving subby ist der fail. He probably charged the newborn with mischief, the mother with littering, and tried to emasculate the father for possession of a weapon dangerous to public safety.
 
2013-03-15 09:09:37 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: iheartscotch: And then gave the driver a ticket for child-endangerment!

/ I've always felt that you're either gonna make it or not; but, speeding and crazy driving puts you, your family and everyone else on the road at risk.

// maybe; and I know this is crazy, but, if you are going to be in that particular situation; maybe you should pack a go bag and keep it in your car or something?

Maybe if these people had the ability to think ahead the woman wouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place.


Right, because no one PLANS to have children. We're ALL just bastards that the mom didn't have the guts to abort, right?

/eyeroll
 
2013-03-15 09:14:24 AM  

kiwimoogle84: AverageAmericanGuy: iheartscotch: And then gave the driver a ticket for child-endangerment!

/ I've always felt that you're either gonna make it or not; but, speeding and crazy driving puts you, your family and everyone else on the road at risk.

// maybe; and I know this is crazy, but, if you are going to be in that particular situation; maybe you should pack a go bag and keep it in your car or something?

Maybe if these people had the ability to think ahead the woman wouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place.

Right, because no one PLANS to have children. We're ALL just bastards that the mom didn't have the guts to abort, right?

/eyeroll


Sorry your parents birthed you on the side of the road. At least they wanted you, not like poor Slartibartfaster up there.
 
2013-03-15 09:20:55 AM  

iheartscotch: And then gave the driver a ticket for child-endangerment!

/ I've always felt that you're either gonna make it or not; but, speeding and crazy driving puts you, your family and everyone else on the road at risk.

// maybe; and I know this is crazy, but, if you are going to be in that particular situation; maybe you should pack a go bag and keep it in your car or something?


Yeah, and put a broom handle in the car so that you can shove the head back in when it decide it wants to come out now, with none of this waiting around for 10 hours to get born shiat.
 
2013-03-15 09:34:54 AM  
If there only was a vehicle that was designed to quickly transport people that needed medical attention and provided care en route to a hospital...
 
2013-03-15 09:39:10 AM  

mamoru: If by "helping", subby meant "not interfering with", then the headline is perfectly accurate.

At least, the text of that article does not say anything about the officer actually helping. Can't watch the video. :-/


I couldn't believe it when babby's cries came into range of the cop's lapel mic... birth had occurred at that point!  That doesn't mean that the wife wasn't bleeding heavily or any other stress-inducing indications or complications had arose.

The cop didn't even freak out when the driver got out of the vehicle to run around to the passenger side; no weapon drawn or even unsnapped in the holster.  Then he went about helping with getting the baby wrapped up and whatnot.  "It's good if he's crying!" he says.  It was actually really sweet.
 
2013-03-15 09:44:32 AM  

hardinparamedic: fainted on his OB clinical when he saw what a baby head does to an un-episostomised vagina.


Episiotomies  are pretty awful themselves, and in general seriously over-used and unnecessary.  All the things I saw during the three births of my kids, the episiotomy was the only thing that made me ill, and just thinking about it to this day still makes me queasy.
 
2013-03-15 09:55:13 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: iheartscotch: And then gave the driver a ticket for child-endangerment!

/ I've always felt that you're either gonna make it or not; but, speeding and crazy driving puts you, your family and everyone else on the road at risk.

// maybe; and I know this is crazy, but, if you are going to be in that particular situation; maybe you should pack a go bag and keep it in your car or something?

Maybe if these people had the ability to think ahead the woman wouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place.


I support the position of YOU not procreating... does that count?
 
2013-03-15 09:57:52 AM  

I sound fat: the801: I sound fat:

Unless its a chevette or a k car or something, then... well, you deserve to be laughed at.

man, don't go be knockin on chevettes.


[www.autonewsbrasil.com.br image 600x367]


[upload.wikimedia.org image 672x421]

i'd be so proud to drive a chevette. piece of history, right there. american auto engineering trying to emulate japanese auto engineering and coming out with something that looks like a 70's euro-coupe on steroids? oh heck yeah.

Okay, I stand corrected.  I had no idea that 12 hp bubbles that remind the driver that someday he might be able to afford a volkswagon rabbit were so insanely cool.

Thanks for the education.


OY.... that's not a bubble car... THIS is a bubble car:
www.neohouston.com
 
2013-03-15 10:01:03 AM  
Was it the cop or the new dad that got the blanket and wrapped the baby? It is hard to tell the way this story is written. If it was the cop, he did help a little.  Also, it would have been more responsible for the cop to escort them to the hospital rather than letting proceed at high rate of speed alone.  So the cop is a hero for not being a douche?
 
2013-03-15 10:07:31 AM  

HindiDiscoMonster: AverageAmericanGuy: iheartscotch: And then gave the driver a ticket for child-endangerment!

/ I've always felt that you're either gonna make it or not; but, speeding and crazy driving puts you, your family and everyone else on the road at risk.

// maybe; and I know this is crazy, but, if you are going to be in that particular situation; maybe you should pack a go bag and keep it in your car or something?

Maybe if these people had the ability to think ahead the woman wouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place.

I support the position of YOU not procreating... does that count?


Are you suggesting that prepared and responsible parents that don't wait until the baby is crowning before heading to the hospital don't make good parents?
 
2013-03-15 10:52:28 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Are you suggesting that prepared and responsible parents that don't wait until the baby is crowning before heading to the hospital don't make good parents?


Here's a thought experiment, Guy: predict the duration of labor for any pregnant woman, down to the 10-minute resolution.  Show your work.

Best of luck.  Oh, and don't say "when the water breaks."  My first child was born 22 hours after membranes first started rupturing.  My second was born 90 seconds after the water broke.
 
2013-03-15 11:00:50 AM  

factoryconnection: AverageAmericanGuy: Are you suggesting that prepared and responsible parents that don't wait until the baby is crowning before heading to the hospital don't make good parents?

Here's a thought experiment, Guy: predict the duration of labor for any pregnant woman, down to the 10-minute resolution.  Show your work.

Best of luck.  Oh, and don't say "when the water breaks."  My first child was born 22 hours after membranes first started rupturing.  My second was born 90 seconds after the water broke.


And were you out shopping or at a restaurant. Did you not have a suitcase prepared?

Or we're you responsible and prepared?
 
2013-03-15 12:22:49 PM  
They went to Mercy Hospital? That isn't gonna end well. At least he is only playing with one other adult person, so the bots should help him out. Don't know how the baby factors in though.
 
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