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(Foobies)   Researchers discover penis can cure migraines. No word on whether one must apply directly to forehead   (thelocal.de) divider line 61
    More: Unlikely, cure migraines, William S. Burroughs, North Rhine-Westphalia, away goals, Science & Technology, migraines, relaxation techniques, emergence  
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4990 clicks; posted to Geek » on 14 Mar 2013 at 2:26 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



61 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-03-14 01:42:05 PM  
Try this instead, ejaculate and keep going right after, force yourself to keep going.  It feels like you're having a heart attack.  Why?  Why the fark would your chest feel like that from your balls being emptied?
 
2013-03-14 02:29:04 PM  
I'll try this on the wife tonight.

/MUSHROOM STAMP!
 
2013-03-14 02:34:27 PM  
Most farkers have used better lines than that.
 
2013-03-14 02:50:21 PM  
It couldn't hurt.
 
2013-03-14 02:55:04 PM  
A little on the forehead, some on the chin. What's the difference?
 
2013-03-14 03:02:00 PM  
I have heard anecdotal evidence that the penis must be taken/given internally/orally to be an effective migraine remedy.
 
2013-03-14 03:05:32 PM  
Penis. Apply directly to the forehead.
Penis. Apply directly to the forehead.
Penis. Apply directly to the forehead.


...I dunno. Just doesn't have the same ring to it.
 
2013-03-14 03:05:59 PM  
Curing a migraine is good but what you really need is a daily prophylactic dose
 
2013-03-14 03:11:30 PM  

whosits_112: Penis. Apply directly to the forehead.
Penis. Apply directly to the forehead.
Penis. Apply directly to the forehead.


...I dunno. Just doesn't have the same ring to it.


It's more of a thud, really.
 
2013-03-14 03:18:08 PM  
My penis, is there anything it can't make better?
 
2013-03-14 03:19:03 PM  
exitcreative.net
 
2013-03-14 03:19:27 PM  
So she's enjoying the penis a little bit more, is she?
 
2013-03-14 03:19:27 PM  
cdn.motinetwork.net
 
zez
2013-03-14 03:23:52 PM  
No wonder I get migraines all the time and they last forever.
 
2013-03-14 03:28:10 PM  

whosits_112: Penis. Apply directly to the forehead.
Penis. Apply directly to the forehead.
Penis. Apply directly to the forehead.


...I dunno. Just doesn't have the same ring to it.


Maybe not, but
Hard On Apply directly to forehead
Hard On Apply directly to forehead
Hard On Apply directly to forehead
seems to have much closer to the same ring to it
 
2013-03-14 03:34:56 PM  
33% were doing it wrong.
 
2013-03-14 03:45:27 PM  
Mushroom stamp, is that the same as a mollywhopper?
 
2013-03-14 03:47:09 PM  
If I could touch my penis to my forehead I'd never leave the house.....

/someone had to say it.
 
2013-03-14 03:55:13 PM  
How do you introduce a control group for a study like this? What would placebo sex look like? O_o
 
2013-03-14 04:04:21 PM  
Sorry honey, but not tonight. I don't have a headache.
 
2013-03-14 04:15:00 PM  

Fizpez: If I could touch my penis to my forehead I'd never leave the house.....

/someone had to say it.


No, you need to be flexiable enough to go past your forhead, smaller circles are required.
 
2013-03-14 04:15:33 PM  
I have cluster headaches, so apparently I'm still farked even if I fark.


fark.
 
2013-03-14 04:16:00 PM  
My migraines stopped at age 14, so this information is doubly useless to me.
 
2013-03-14 04:24:12 PM  
+1, subby.

/you made me laugh on a bad day, thank you
 
2013-03-14 04:30:12 PM  

Tommy Moo: How do you introduce a control group for a study like this? What would placebo sex look like? O_o


You must not be married.
 
2013-03-14 04:35:01 PM  
Hmmm, I get migraines a lot and am gay... DOUBLE DOSE!

/for your health
 
2013-03-14 04:35:36 PM  
I recommend that the medication be taken rectally.
 
2013-03-14 04:44:09 PM  

victrin: Hmmm, I get migraines a lot and am gay... DOUBLE DOSE!

/for your health


double penis?
 
2013-03-14 04:46:04 PM  

SultanofSchwing: I have cluster headaches, so apparently I'm still farked even if I fark.


fark.


Nah, you just need a clusterfark to cure it. I recommend the latest SimCity, that's a clusterfark if I've ever seen one.
 
Bf+
2013-03-14 04:58:23 PM  

SultanofSchwing: victrin: Hmmm, I get migraines a lot and am gay... DOUBLE DOSE!

/for your health

double penis?


Take two and call the doctor in the morning?
 
2013-03-14 05:06:51 PM  
I've got a penis this big and it's got Excedrin written all over it.

/sadly, not true
 
2013-03-14 05:43:40 PM  

Tommy Moo: How do you introduce a control group for a study like this? What would placebo sex look like? O_o


My marriage
 
2013-03-14 05:55:31 PM  

SultanofSchwing: victrin: Hmmm, I get migraines a lot and am gay... DOUBLE DOSE!

/for your health

double penis?


of that pimpin?
 
2013-03-14 06:12:15 PM  
 
2013-03-14 06:23:27 PM  

SultanofSchwing: I have cluster headaches, so apparently I'm still farked even if I fark.


fark.


Damn, that's a true curse.

One of the phd candidates in my old department at university got them, too. I was sitting next to him in the computer lab one day when he got one. I knew there was no help I could give, just had to sit by and watch him shake and drool. Freaked everyone else out, though. I guess I looked like an ass for not showing more concern, but we'd talked about them before and when that one started I asked if that was the case. At that point he could still communicate in the affirmative. Not so much a few moments later.

Good luck, man. I know there are some groups on the Internet for support and trying to figure out how to live with it or best reduce them, if that's even possible.
 
2013-03-14 06:36:20 PM  
FTA: 'researchers found sex to be a particularly effective cure as 60 percent said it helped with the pain. Thirty three percent said that sex made their headache worse.'


So their sample group was 60% men and at least 33% women?
 
2013-03-14 06:43:49 PM  

Don Piano: SultanofSchwing: I have cluster headaches, so apparently I'm still farked even if I fark.


fark.

Damn, that's a true curse.

One of the phd candidates in my old department at university got them, too. I was sitting next to him in the computer lab one day when he got one. I knew there was no help I could give, just had to sit by and watch him shake and drool. Freaked everyone else out, though. I guess I looked like an ass for not showing more concern, but we'd talked about them before and when that one started I asked if that was the case. At that point he could still communicate in the affirmative. Not so much a few moments later.

Good luck, man. I know there are some groups on the Internet for support and trying to figure out how to live with it or best reduce them, if that's even possible.


Ive seen some articles that suggest lsd and or mushrooms. Seriously. Im not suggesting you break the law but oh fark it. Fark the law. Do what you gotta do.
 
2013-03-14 07:08:41 PM  
sex doesn't have to involve penis
 
2013-03-14 07:29:12 PM  
So once again, the penis mightier.
 
2013-03-14 07:48:24 PM  

born_yesterday: So once again, the penis mightier.


I'll buy a dozen.
 
2013-03-14 08:08:19 PM  
This is not a repeat from 1947, 1964, 1985, 1991, 1992, 1994, 1997, and so on and so forth?
 
2013-03-14 08:20:10 PM  
Heh. I knew this already. That's why I never give my fiance the headache excuse (unless it's so bad I'm throwing up). I just say "Not tonight, hon. Can I give you a beej instead?"
 
2013-03-14 08:37:51 PM  
I'm 99% sure this study is bullshiat.  In fact, 100% percent.

If you're suffering from a real migraine, not just the "ow my head hurts and I'm a lazy, whiny, self-entitled, drama queen farkwad so I'm going to call my headache a migraine" type, I'm pretty sure the last thing on your mind is sex and the last thing you're going to be able to do is get sexually aroused.  I can't even imagine being able to get an erection while suffering from a migraine, let alone having sex.

I'm also positive that attempting to have sex or even getting touched is going to make things MUCH MUCH worse.
 
2013-03-14 09:06:00 PM  
Given the cost of my migraine medication maybe my HMO will just start sending over hookers to keep costs down.  A guy can dream.

MrHappyRotter: I'm 99% sure this study is bullshiat.  In fact, 100% percent.


All jokes aside, I think the same thing.  Unless I can find a woman who gets off on guys lying in the fetal position and puking on them I don't think this is an option for me.

/please don't send links
 
2013-03-14 09:24:45 PM  
I dunno about this.

My penis had caused me more headaches in life than any other organ....
 
2013-03-14 09:58:44 PM  
What if you get the rare post-coital migraine, like I do?

/oh god, I'm coming, OH GOD OH GOD MY HEAD FEELS LIKE ITS GOING TO EXPLODE
//[inside your head it feels like someone is taking a jackhammer to your brain]
 
2013-03-14 10:17:45 PM  
For those who prefer, there's even a suppository version.
 
2013-03-14 10:25:11 PM  
I'm producing "2 girls one quiet dark room" and am getting a kick etc
 
2013-03-14 10:29:22 PM  
Subby;
I would have gone with "Hey Farkettes, any of you have a headache right now?"
 
2013-03-14 11:57:42 PM  
Oh no. No no no.

I get migraines. They're not at all nice. I don't want sexytime, I don't want anything except to curl up in a tiny ball in the corner and wish I were dead. Followed by 24 hours of complete and utter mental confusion while my psyche recovers from the experience.

By the way, I did notice the cheeky wee bit in the article about sexual intercourse on my own. Believe me, if I'm in enough suffering that I'd be forced to hate myself forever by, say, turning down a threesome with Alizée Jacotey and Jewel Staite, I'm not about to have a wank on my own, even if I can fully justify it to myself as a proper mediwank.
 
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