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(The Atlantic)   Those Ukrainian killer dolphins? Turns out they're not really "on the loose" but the question still needs to be asked, WHY ARE WE MAKING KILLER DOLPHINS?   (theatlantic.com) divider line 32
    More: Followup, killer, Ukrainian, beluga whale, Werner Herzog, First Hour  
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3306 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Mar 2013 at 9:22 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



32 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-03-14 08:50:17 AM  
The Ukrainian navy's dolphin program has a long pedigree. The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists noted that trainers there inherited the Soviet military's 70 trained dolphins after the Soviet Union collapsed. Some of them were retrained to help with child therapy and other civilian tasks. The others?

What other farking Civilian tasks can dolphins do besides rape you?
 
2013-03-14 09:00:33 AM  
To fight the sharks with the frickin' lasers on their heads, of course.
 
2013-03-14 09:28:53 AM  
To mess with Japanese fishermen.
 
2013-03-14 09:29:48 AM  
Wrong! To combat the Brotherhood of Nod's Giant Squid of course!
 
2013-03-14 09:29:57 AM  
FA LOVE PA!
 
2013-03-14 09:32:22 AM  
The US have been using dolphins for warfare for over half a century, subby

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_dolphin
 
2013-03-14 09:33:19 AM  
To fight terrorists obviously
 
2013-03-14 09:35:23 AM  
The question may be about missing killer dolphins and why would tHEY MY DAMN CAPLOCK KEY IS STUCK AGAIN!!!!!
 
2013-03-14 09:36:31 AM  

FullMetalPanda: The Ukrainian navy's dolphin program has a long pedigree. The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists noted that trainers there inherited the Soviet military's 70 trained dolphins after the Soviet Union collapsed. Some of them were retrained to help with child therapy and other civilian tasks. The others?

What other farking Civilian tasks can dolphins do besides rape you?


Filing? Typing? Although you'd have to think a dolphin's "words per minute" would be  pretty low,

Better than mine, but still pretty low.
 
2013-03-14 09:39:16 AM  
Forget dolphins, sharks with lazers don't run off.
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-14 09:42:28 AM  
Because we can't afford a killer dolphin gap!
 
2013-03-14 09:49:37 AM  
i171.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-14 10:28:34 AM  

Ennuipoet: To fight the sharks with the frickin' lasers on their heads, of course.


That's it, the US Navy needs to step up their game.  Time for Killer Whales with frickin' torpedoes on their heads.  And yes they should follow up with Humpback Whales with frickin' cruise missiles on their heads before the enemy has a chance.
 
2013-03-14 10:33:41 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.com

This one didn't even have a knife.
 
2013-03-14 10:55:59 AM  
Fa love Pa
 
2013-03-14 11:07:04 AM  
They are tastier.
 
2013-03-14 11:24:50 AM  
Did they say "so long and thanks for all the fish" before they swam off on their murderous plot?
 
2013-03-14 11:46:42 AM  

Gunderson: The US have been using dolphins for warfare for over half a century, subby

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_dolphin


Yup. There's a training facility in San Diego Bay, near the yacht club. My nephew and niece love getting a ride on their Grandpa Gee's boat, but when they see the dolphins, it's a doubly special day.
 
2013-03-14 11:49:52 AM  
Why are we making killer dolphins?  Because we're sick little monkeys.
 
2013-03-14 12:03:08 PM  
You know those Soviet dog bombs?  How did they get them to only go under the German tanks?  I mean how the fark would a dog know the difference between a T34 and a Panther?
 
2013-03-14 12:35:13 PM  
Don't you worry about killer dolphins let me worry about blank.
 
2013-03-14 12:59:37 PM  

FullMetalPanda: You know those Soviet dog bombs?  How did they get them to only go under the German tanks?  I mean how the fark would a dog know the difference between a T34 and a Panther?


Germans smell like sausage.
 
2013-03-14 01:24:41 PM  

coinspinner: This one didn't even have a knife.


Thank you. I think people need to remember this gem.
 
2013-03-14 01:32:12 PM  
How would a dolphin fire a pistol anyway?
 
2013-03-14 03:07:54 PM  

FullMetalPanda: You know those Soviet dog bombs?  How did they get them to only go under the German tanks?  I mean how the fark would a dog know the difference between a T34 and a Panther?


Supposedly the russians ran into trouble because the dogs had been trained using Russian tanks.
 
2013-03-14 03:15:13 PM  

gopher321: Wrong! To combat the Brotherhood of Nod's Giant Squid of course!


Thank you! Although I thought it was Yuri that had the squid.
 
2013-03-14 03:38:35 PM  
ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2013-03-14 05:40:34 PM  
This place has become such a dive. I'd be better off watching whale of fortune.
 
2013-03-14 06:22:38 PM  
Subby clearly has no aspirations towards supervillainy. Must be the only one on Fark.
 
2013-03-14 07:45:09 PM  

ZeroCorpse: FullMetalPanda: You know those Soviet dog bombs?  How did they get them to only go under the German tanks?  I mean how the fark would a dog know the difference between a T34 and a Panther?

Germans smell like sausage.


And Russkies smell like  Cabbage?
 
2013-03-14 10:19:43 PM  
Dolphins are pretty badass killers all by themselves, you know. We might as well have them on our side.
 
2013-03-15 05:01:52 AM  
Show me a dolphin that has killed nothing in its life.
 
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