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(Kinston Free Press)   Government, agencies to shut down during ACC basketball tournament   (kinston.com) divider line 42
    More: Stupid, ACC Men's Basketball Tournament, ACC basketball, Forsyth County, Doctors and Nurses, basketball tournament, Crawley, tournaments, betting pools  
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1803 clicks; posted to Sports » on 14 Mar 2013 at 9:22 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-03-14 09:19:46 AM  
That's not even funny satire.
 
2013-03-14 09:29:47 AM  
Who in the world is the Jon Dawson fan on FARK, and how does your Fisher Price My First Computer connect to the interwebs?

This isn't the first time I've seen this guy's "satire" on here.
 
2013-03-14 09:35:38 AM  
When I first got to Ft Bragg  I bought a new truck on ACC tournament Friday, and had a hell of a time finding an insurance agency that was actually open at 2 pm or so.
 
2013-03-14 09:35:45 AM  
"Just last year a judge in Forsyth County was caught watching the game on an iPad while he was on the bench. He would've gotten away with it if not for the fact that he kept yelling 'Shoot the 3!' during a triple homicide trial."

There's no way that's real.
 
2013-03-14 10:01:50 AM  
Being in a garage doesn't make you a car, Kinston, and stinking doesn't make you an Onion.
 
2013-03-14 10:09:37 AM  
"durring," Subby? Sounds like a southern retard
 
2013-03-14 10:12:24 AM  
That was awful.
 
182
2013-03-14 10:27:27 AM  
In all seriousness, we used to watch the acc tourney in school and that was in the 80's.  That's just normal in NC to shut it down like the rest of the country does for the Superbowl....expect it was Friday not Sunday.
 
2013-03-14 10:42:24 AM  

182: In all seriousness, we used to watch the acc tourney in school and that was in the 80's.  That's just normal in NC to shut it down like the rest of the country does for the Superbowl....expect it was Friday not Sunday.


Yep, when I moved to NC I was amazed that we got to stop school to watch the freaking ACC basketball tournament. The other thing that amazed me was people cared about basketball, which was pretty much unheard of where I grew up. We didn't watch or play basketball in western PA.

/grown accustomed to it over the years, sort of enjoy the basketball now
//the tea's pretty good too
 
2013-03-14 11:17:25 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-14 11:28:54 AM  
I remember we would stop class during the ACC tournament in grade school. Just wheel in a TV, pop up some bunny ears, and watch the tournament all day.
 
2013-03-14 11:39:30 AM  
I don't see what the issue is.  I was raised in North Carolina, and it makes far more sense to me to shut down everything for our three day religious event than some of the silly ones they shut towns down for up north.  The difference is when we pray to the basketball gods in North Carolina, sometimes God answers and Carolina wins, and other times the Blue Devil answers...

I understand this year NC State is going to try something new and actually send a full team.
 
2013-03-14 11:40:39 AM  

js34603: /grown accustomed to it over the years, sort of enjoy the basketball now


True story: College basketball is directly responsible for desegregation in North Carolina.
 
2013-03-14 12:20:27 PM  

Wellon Dowd: [i.imgur.com image 850x222]


Mr. Burns should be Duke.

It looks fantastic otherwise.
 
2013-03-14 12:42:26 PM  
Once the ACC is torn apart by football in the next few years, no one will have to worry about everything shutting down come tourney time.
 
2013-03-14 12:49:33 PM  
We have ripped this unfunny butthole many times in the past.  I had to jump into the way back machine for some of my previous quotes.  Ohh, and as a bonus, this guy is also a farker, user  thirdofnever.

Thirdofnever: Okay all you masters of whit, shoot some of your work up here.

Cucumebr_ Breath;  I don't cash checks for publishing satirical and comical news articles, so I don't have any. However, I do consume quite a bit of comedy, and I can tell you without a doubt in the world, that article sucks more than a whirlpool after a tsunami.


Also, you should know better than coming onto a internet message board and trying to defend your work once the masses have determined that it "sucks". Just keep moving.

Links to previous roastings of this turd:

http://www.fark.com/comments/6033869/67625610#c67625610

http://www.fark.com/comments/5946255/UNC-player-who-quit-team-mid-se as on-gives-his-side-of-story
 
2013-03-14 12:57:11 PM  

Cucumber_Breath: Links to previous roastings of this turd:


Social media justice is brutal.
 
2013-03-14 01:06:16 PM  

Beware_Me: Once the ACC is torn apart by football in the next few years, no one will have to worry about everything shutting down come tourney time.


That's not happening. Even if the football schools leave, the basketball schools aren't separating, lot of money in ACC basketball. And not much of it is dependant on Miami, Florida State or VT.
 
2013-03-14 01:24:45 PM  

js34603: Beware_Me: Once the ACC is torn apart by football in the next few years, no one will have to worry about everything shutting down come tourney time.

That's not happening. Even if the football schools leave, the basketball schools aren't separating, lot of money in ACC basketball. And not much of it is dependant on Miami, Florida State or VT.


Maryland is a basketball school and they just left.
 
2013-03-14 01:28:41 PM  

LucklessWonder: "durring," Subby? Sounds like a southern retard


What subby might look like:

fc03.deviantart.net
 
2013-03-14 01:29:47 PM  
The only good burn in there was the one involving Boston College.  No one likes Boston College.
 
2013-03-14 01:35:04 PM  

PowerSlacker: js34603: Beware_Me: Once the ACC is torn apart by football in the next few years, no one will have to worry about everything shutting down come tourney time.

That's not happening. Even if the football schools leave, the basketball schools aren't separating, lot of money in ACC basketball. And not much of it is dependant on Miami, Florida State or VT.

Maryland is a basketball school and they just left.


Inferiority complex. And they weren't all that vital anyway. As long as Duke and Carolina are around the ACC is fine.

I heard the ACC might pick up a few basketball schools you might have heard of, too, to replace Maryland.
 
2013-03-14 02:23:42 PM  

Doogled: The only good burn in there was the one involving Boston College.  No one likes Boston College.


Olivier Hanlan does.

41 Pts, 5 Reb, 2 Ast

Illini, looks like you're in. We will never count you out in Chicago. Good shot at taking it to IU.

Looks like the Cyclones are about to get a big one too.
 
2013-03-14 02:36:14 PM  

js34603: PowerSlacker: js34603: Beware_Me: Once the ACC is torn apart by football in the next few years, no one will have to worry about everything shutting down come tourney time.

That's not happening. Even if the football schools leave, the basketball schools aren't separating, lot of money in ACC basketball. And not much of it is dependant on Miami, Florida State or VT.

Maryland is a basketball school and they just left.

Inferiority complex. And they weren't all that vital anyway. As long as Duke and Carolina are around the ACC is fine.

I heard the ACC might pick up a few basketball schools you might have heard of, too, to replace Maryland.


Plus Duke should be happy that Maryland is leaving...Maryland is about the only team that seems to have no fear when playing Duke and can beat them in a sub-par year.  Maryland could go 2-22 and somehow those two wins would be against Duke.

The aura of Duke seems to beat a lot of teams before the game even starts.
 
2013-03-14 02:40:46 PM  

Hyjamon: The aura officials of Duke seems to beat a lot of teams before the game even starts.


/ftfy
/UK fan, anticipating the sound of whistles return to UofL basketball games when they deal with the Ref-zewskis
 
2013-03-14 03:11:30 PM  
The Thursday and Friday of the ACC tournament were pretty much excused 'un-excused' absences in high school here in NC back in the day. Skipping school, getting high, and watching the games was just expected. I bet the teen pregnancy rates 9 months from now (mid dec) are pretty high as well.
 
2013-03-14 03:18:36 PM  
If you play LSU, make sure to foul Johnny O'Bryant III every trip down the court, apparently.

Georgie, we hardly knew ye.
 
2013-03-14 03:31:34 PM  

js34603: Inferiority complex. And they weren't all that vital anyway. As long as Duke and Carolina are around the ACC is fine.


Huh? Maryland leaving was a cash grab, and given their finances, no one should blame them.
 
2013-03-14 03:45:34 PM  

js34603: As long as Duke and Carolina are around the ACC is fine.


Guess who are rumored to be Big Ten Bound?  Hell, guess who is rumored to have a Big Ten invite already. In a few years, the ACC may just be BC, Miami, Wake, and some Big East castoffs.
 
2013-03-14 03:51:57 PM  

Beware_Me: js34603: As long as Duke and Carolina are around the ACC is fine.

Guess who are rumored to be Big Ten Bound?  Hell, guess who is rumored to have a Big Ten invite already. In a few years, the ACC may just be BC, Miami, Wake, and some Big East castoffs.


Now that I think about it, that would mean the only team in the hypothetical, new ACC that was never part of the Big East would be Wake.
 
2013-03-14 04:03:17 PM  

Killer Cars: js34603: Inferiority complex. And they weren't all that vital anyway. As long as Duke and Carolina are around the ACC is fine.

Huh? Maryland leaving was a cash grab, and given their finances, no one should blame them.


I don't think anyone blames them. I don't think anyone cares they're leaving with Syracuse, Pitt, and ND coming in. And yeah inferiority complex, their panties have always been bunched about how much more attention the Carolina ACC contingent gets than then.
 
2013-03-14 04:07:29 PM  

Beware_Me: Beware_Me: js34603: As long as Duke and Carolina are around the ACC is fine.

Guess who are rumored to be Big Ten Bound?  Hell, guess who is rumored to have a Big Ten invite already. In a few years, the ACC may just be BC, Miami, Wake, and some Big East castoffs.

Now that I think about it, that would mean the only team in the hypothetical, new ACC that was never part of the Big East would be Wake.


NC State was in the Big East? Clemson? Or you're just assuming they all have invites to other conferences too?

Also from the link: "How much of it is credible is even harder." I'm going to say not much.
 
2013-03-14 04:30:52 PM  

PowerSlacker: js34603: Beware_Me: Once the ACC is torn apart by football in the next few years, no one will have to worry about everything shutting down come tourney time.

That's not happening. Even if the football schools leave, the basketball schools aren't separating, lot of money in ACC basketball. And not much of it is dependant on Miami, Florida State or VT.

Maryland is a basketball school and they just left.


And they got Louisville.  I'd say an even if not positive trade for the ACC.
 
2013-03-14 04:31:09 PM  

js34603: Beware_Me: Beware_Me: js34603: As long as Duke and Carolina are around the ACC is fine.

Guess who are rumored to be Big Ten Bound?  Hell, guess who is rumored to have a Big Ten invite already. In a few years, the ACC may just be BC, Miami, Wake, and some Big East castoffs.

Now that I think about it, that would mean the only team in the hypothetical, new ACC that was never part of the Big East would be Wake.

NC State was in the Big East? Clemson? Or you're just assuming they all have invites to other conferences too?


I'm assuming GT,UVA, Duke, and UNC go B1G, NC State and VT go to the SEC, and Clemson and Florida State go to the Big 12. There may be a lot of money in ACC basketball, but there is even more money in Big Ten, Big 12, and SEC football.


Also from the link: "How much of it is credible is even harder." I'm going to say not much.


Fair enough. I should have picked a better article. There's certaintly a lot of speculation about it.
 
2013-03-14 05:09:17 PM  

Beware_Me: js34603: Beware_Me: Beware_Me: js34603: As long as Duke and Carolina are around the ACC is fine.

Guess who are rumored to be Big Ten Bound?  Hell, guess who is rumored to have a Big Ten invite already. In a few years, the ACC may just be BC, Miami, Wake, and some Big East castoffs.

Now that I think about it, that would mean the only team in the hypothetical, new ACC that was never part of the Big East would be Wake.

NC State was in the Big East? Clemson? Or you're just assuming they all have invites to other conferences too?


I'm assuming GT,UVA, Duke, and UNC go B1G, NC State and VT go to the SEC, and Clemson and Florida State go to the Big 12. There may be a lot of money in ACC basketball, but there is even more money in Big Ten, Big 12, and SEC football.


Also from the link: "How much of it is credible is even harder." I'm going to say not much.


Fair enough. I should have picked a better article. There's certaintly a lot of speculation about it.


It's just as likely that the B1G collapses and joins the ACC/PAC
 
2013-03-14 05:28:56 PM  

Beware_Me: js34603: Beware_Me: Beware_Me: js34603: As long as Duke and Carolina are around the ACC is fine.

Guess who are rumored to be Big Ten Bound?  Hell, guess who is rumored to have a Big Ten invite already. In a few years, the ACC may just be BC, Miami, Wake, and some Big East castoffs.

Now that I think about it, that would mean the only team in the hypothetical, new ACC that was never part of the Big East would be Wake.

NC State was in the Big East? Clemson? Or you're just assuming they all have invites to other conferences too?


I'm assuming GT,UVA, Duke, and UNC go B1G, NC State and VT go to the SEC, and Clemson and Florida State go to the Big 12. There may be a lot of money in ACC basketball, but there is even more money in Big Ten, Big 12, and SEC football.


Also from the link: "How much of it is credible is even harder." I'm going to say not much.


Fair enough. I should have picked a better article. There's certaintly a lot of speculation about it.


Yes there is tons of money in football but WTF would the SEC Big Ten or 12 want with NC State? Or GT? Those aren't big money football schools that bring anything worthwhile to those football power conferences.

I guess what we can say is you never really know anymore with the conferences, I wouldn't have a heart attack out of shock if the ACC broke up. But as said, it wouldn't be surprising either if the Big 12 broke up and scattered to the ACC, SEC, et al either. Speculation this time last year was pretty much exactly that.
 
2013-03-14 05:35:07 PM  
Watching the tournament at school goes back to the 1970s at least in my experience.

E.M. Yoder Elementary, represent!
 
2013-03-14 06:28:57 PM  

Beware_Me: js34603: As long as Duke and Carolina are around the ACC is fine.

Guess who are rumored to be Big Ten Bound?  Hell, guess who is rumored to have a Big Ten invite already. In a few years, the ACC may just be BC, Miami, Wake, and some Big East castoffs.


Not as long as Coach K's around and has any influence at all. Duke's not going anywhere, especially after his comments about Maryland leaving.
 
2013-03-14 07:47:28 PM  
The Thursday and Friday of the ACC tournament were pretty much excused 'un-excused' absences in high school here in NC back in the day. Skipping school, getting high, and watching the games was just expected. I bet the teen pregnancy rates 9 months from now (mid dec) are pretty high as well.

Only if UNC wins.
 
2013-03-14 08:48:45 PM  
1:  That stupid rumor about UNC and the B1G has surfaced again?  Are they the same people that complain out the other side of their mouth that the state of North Carolina runs the conference?

Let's make this simple.      AIN'T.   GONNA.   HAPPEN.     The only reason Maryland left is because they're in a deep, dark financial hole after decades of mismanagement.

2:  I love that Simpsons pic.  Here's the one for the SEC:

i.imgur.com

3:  Whoever it as at the Kinston paper that keeps Jon Dawson employed needs to be drug up and down US 70 until he's properly flensed.
 
2013-03-15 02:08:47 AM  
On a serious note, they might as well shut down during the first round of the NCAA tourney.  No work gets done anywhere those days.
 
2013-03-15 09:58:16 AM  
I blame Bush, Romney, Raegan, Paul Ryan, the NRA, puppies, the sequester and the tooth fairy.  The sequester has reduced the funding so much that Rep. Crawley's name isn't even on House's website.  Fark all of you.
 
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