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(New York Magazine)   Facts about Pope Francis: #26 Everyone calls him Psycho. #27 He don't like anyone touching his stuff. #28 If any of you homos touch him, he'll kill you. (Note: #28 is real)   (nymag.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, Pope Francis, Italian immigrants, gay adoption, free market capitalism, military dictatorship, Jesuits  
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22953 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Mar 2013 at 10:13 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-14 11:53:26 AM  

Generation_D: 10. He called Argentina's legalization of gay marriage in 2010 a "destructive attack on God's plan."

11. He argued that gay adoption would "discriminate against children."


Hateful old sh*tbag.


You sound like the hateful one.
 
2013-03-14 11:53:57 AM  

vernonFL: Pope Lando

When I die and (hopefully) go to Heaven, I want Pope Lando to say to me:


"You look absolutely beautiful. You truly belong here with us among the clouds"


This is amazing. Thank you.
 
2013-03-14 11:59:11 AM  

BalugaJoe: I want to learn more about Pope Lando.


www.i400calci.com
 
2013-03-14 12:02:20 PM  

serial_crusher: Gordon Bennett: - A wide assortment of merchandise will be sold with all proceeds going to charity. Buy your Pope Gordon action figure today!

Same old same old.  I want Change!


I'll bet that one isn't anatomically correct.

Plus I'll have Pope hat handbags, Pope T-shirts, Pope tea towels, Pope posters, mugs, clocks, energy drinks, Soda Pope, Pope Soap on a Rope and to bring the authentic scent of Mass home, Pope-pourri.
 
2013-03-14 12:03:28 PM  

thornhill: 14. Takes public transportation and lives in a modest home.

The praise he's receiving for flying coach and using public transportation is driving me nuts. He works for a charity; you'd think the church would have a travel policy that bars people from flying business and first class. The less money being spent on premium travel is more money that can go to things like golden thrones feeding the poor.

 
2013-03-14 12:03:34 PM  

markfara: He's a very humble man, from what I've been hearing.

Like, from every single news outlet throughout most of the afternoon and evening yesterday, every two minutes or so, over and over and over and over and over. . . .

There were also a lot of priests and Catholic Church scholars on TV remarking on how humble he is.

Chris Matthews said on his show last night that he has high hopes for this pope, because the guy's really humble.

Apparently, the new pope is a very humble man.


Yesterday when he appeared on the balcony I saw a spider web behind him that spelled out "SOME POPE".
 
2013-03-14 12:05:06 PM  

Renart: Yesterday when he appeared on the balcony I saw a spider web behind him that spelled out "SOME POPE".


That's TERRIFIC.
 
2013-03-14 12:06:00 PM  
10. He called Argentina's legalization of gay marriage in 2010 a "destructive attack on God's plan."
11. He argued that gay adoption would "discriminate against children."
12. Gave a speech in 2012 "accusing fellow church officials of hypocrisy for forgetting that Jesus Christ bathed lepers and ate with prostitutes."


One of these things is not like the other...
 
2013-03-14 12:07:57 PM  

The_Sponge: FTFA:

4. He has taken the name Pope Francis. Not Francis I yet. "It will become Francis I after we have a Francis II," the Vatican said.) It's the first time a new pope has taken a name that hasn't already been used by a former pope since Pope Lando in 913.


I think we just found out which Pope had the coolest name.


24.media.tumblr.com

He also had fantastic hair and a very loyal assistant.
 
2013-03-14 12:08:21 PM  
Off topic, but on topic for the tango sub-discussion in thread: Anyone remember the fictional dance (tango, maybe?) that is something like "so sexy that when the dance is done the woman is pregnant"?  I wanna say simpsons, but I can't find it.
 
2013-03-14 12:09:27 PM  

SavageWombat: borg: The_Sponge: FTFA:

4. He has taken the name Pope Francis. Not Francis I yet. "It will become Francis I after we have a Francis II," the Vatican said.) It's the first time a new pope has taken a name that hasn't already been used by a former pope since Pope Lando in 913.


I think we just found out which Pope had the coolest name.

I think they mean Pope John Paul in 1978

By whom you mean Pope John Paul II?


There were three Popes in 1978, Two of which took the name John Paul.
 
2013-03-14 12:09:42 PM  

Xyphoid: Off topic, but on topic for the tango sub-discussion in thread: Anyone remember the fictional dance (tango, maybe?) that is something like "so sexy that when the dance is done the woman is pregnant"?  I wanna say simpsons, but I can't find it.


The Tango De La Muerte.  Your welcome.  Now go sugar your own churro.
 
2013-03-14 12:12:59 PM  
FTFA: Used to tango with his girlfriend before he "discovered [his] religious vocation.

There's probably some poor Argentinian guy getting nagged tonight: "I could have danced away with Jorge instead and been Mrs. Pope instead of being married to a thieving options trader."
 
2013-03-14 12:13:27 PM  

MNguy: xanadian: FTFA:   21. Is a critic of the International Monetary Fund and free-market capitalism for contributing to poverty.

Yeah, Republicans will *love* this guy.

I've read opinions from conservatives where they blast this guy.

I've read opinions from liberals where they blast this guy.

He's doing it right.


Or he has no clue what he's talking about on monetary policy.
 
2013-03-14 12:15:04 PM  

weirdneighbour: Well, I've been using the term 'holy shiat' all my life and I just thought it would be nice too actually see some.


Where do you live?
We may be able to arrange that on your front doorstep for you.
/God spelled backwards = Dog. : )
 
2013-03-14 12:17:16 PM  

thornhill: MNguy: xanadian: FTFA:   21. Is a critic of the International Monetary Fund and free-market capitalism for contributing to poverty.

Yeah, Republicans will *love* this guy.

I've read opinions from conservatives where they blast this guy.

I've read opinions from liberals where they blast this guy.

He's doing it right.

Or he has no clue what he's talking about on monetary policy.


But he's great on social policy amiright?
 
2013-03-14 12:27:03 PM  

SDRR: nekom: Rev. Skarekroe: nekom: Had a lung removed as a child?  That's pretty odd in itself.  That's usually associated with an older person either in the coal mining industry, asbestos or heavy smoker.  Must have been one doozy of an infection if it prompted them to remove a lung from a child.

He also used to tango a lot?  How do you tango with one lung?  You'd think intense physical activity would be pretty low on the list of things you can do.  But what do I know?

Well, that's miracle #1 then, right? So he only needs one more to become a saint. Or do they have to be posthumous miracles? My wife is vaguely Catholic but I admit I know little to nothing about it.

Aren't they all?


Quite a few are. I've heard the term "Social Mormon" used to describe people who really don't believe any of the hooplah, but their parents and friends are Mormons so they go through the motions. In that sense, I suppose the term "Social Catholic" fits my wife best. I'm not Catholic, and our wedding was at a small United Methodist church. Living in sin and all that.
 
2013-03-14 12:28:33 PM  

SavageWombat: borg: The_Sponge: FTFA:

4. He has taken the name Pope Francis. Not Francis I yet. "It will become Francis I after we have a Francis II," the Vatican said.) It's the first time a new pope has taken a name that hasn't already been used by a former pope since Pope Lando in 913.


I think we just found out which Pope had the coolest name.

I think they mean Pope John Paul in 1978

By whom you mean Pope John Paul II?


No, JP one served one month (33 days) and was found dead (he likely had help with that).  JP two took the name in his honor.
 
2013-03-14 12:29:24 PM  

WhoopAssWayne: Looks like the liberal demonization of this man is in full swing. After all, the usual liberal crackpots aren't going to do anything positive for this world. They're not going to dedicate their lives to a larger cause, and they're not capable of helping anyone but them selves. All they can do is label, attack, and criticize. That's all they're really capable of as you can see right here.


Everything bad is caused by libs. Everything.

I've seen you write things that aren't batshiat insane, why do you always go back to the crazy?
 
2013-03-14 12:33:23 PM  

No Such Agency: Hmm...


You never noticed the Trade Federation wore vaguely Catholic garb?  The hats and robes?

They were a racial stereotype wrapped in a religious stereotype wrapped in an epic ball of failure.
 
2013-03-14 12:36:10 PM  
WhoopAssWayne: Looks like the liberal demonization of this man is in full swing. After all, the usual liberal crackpots aren't going to do anything positive for this world. They're not going to dedicate their lives to a larger cause, and they're not capable of helping anyone but them selves. All they can do is label, attack, and criticize. That's all they're really capable of as you can see right here.

You might want to look up the words "liberal" and "conservative".  One is, by definition, more likely to help others than the other, whoopass.  Everything you said sounds like what Jesus would do.  Jesus.  Not you.Also, not Jesus.
 
2013-03-14 12:36:49 PM  

show me: The_Sponge: FTFA:

4. He has taken the name Pope Francis. Not Francis I yet. "It will become Francis I after we have a Francis II," the Vatican said.) It's the first time a new pope has taken a name that hasn't already been used by a former pope since Pope Lando in 913.


I think we just found out which Pope had the coolest name.

What about friggin' John Paul? Granted, both names had been used individually before, but not in combination.


What about Steve Dave?
 
2013-03-14 12:46:18 PM  
Severe homophobia?  Guess he's also a closet-gay pope. Good for him.
 
2013-03-14 12:48:15 PM  

thornhill: Those are perks of the job. Unless he orders all the walls to be trimmed in gold, I'm not gonna fault him for moving into the Catholic's version of the White House.

But I doubt that much will change with this pope and every other pope before him.

That's quite a perk for an organization that is a nonprofit. It's not like he's the CEO of Goldman.


But he is the leader of a sovereign nation.
 
2013-03-14 12:53:24 PM  

The_Sponge: FTFA:

4. He has taken the name Pope Francis. Not Francis I yet. "It will become Francis I after we have a Francis II," the Vatican said.) It's the first time a new pope has taken a name that hasn't already been used by a former pope since Pope Lando in 913.


I think we just found out which Pope had the coolest name.


"Well, look at you, a Pope!"

"Somebody must have told them about my little maneuver at the Battle of Taanab."
 
2013-03-14 12:55:03 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-14 12:55:18 PM  

Madame Ovary: And the RCC doesn't contribute to poverty with their sexism, anti-contraception, anti-abortion messages?


They do, but only if you consider genocide a legitimate anti-poverty strategy.
 
2013-03-14 01:00:53 PM  
Dr. Whoof:
No Such Agency: Hmm...

You never noticed the Trade Federation wore vaguely Catholic garb?  The hats and robes?

They were a racial stereotype wrapped in a religious stereotype wrapped in an epic ball of failure.


Yeah, I kind of lost track of all the fail in that movie.  I don't know what making them look vaguely Catholic would be all about, except lazy art design. <- BINGO!...
 
2013-03-14 01:07:03 PM  

thomps: - he was one of the popes to rule during the period of the papacy known as the "pornocracy"


I don't think so. That was 500 years later.
 
2013-03-14 01:20:25 PM  

markfara: He's a very humble man, from what I've been hearing.

Like, from every single news outlet throughout most of the afternoon and evening yesterday, every two minutes or so, over and over and over and over and over. . . .

There were also a lot of priests and Catholic Church scholars on TV remarking on how humble he is.

Chris Matthews said on his show last night that he has high hopes for this pope, because the guy's really humble.

Apparently, the new pope is a very humble man.


Maybe he is Uriah Heep reborn!
 
2013-03-14 01:37:15 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: #30. Saves on the water bill by following the dictum "Si flavescit, dimittes eam vieta" (if it's yellow, let it mellow). Also suspected of waffle-stomping in the shower.


I don't know what this means... but I'm afraid to google it at work.
 
2013-03-14 01:37:57 PM  

LordOfThePings: borg: stuhayes2010: A 76 year old with one lung, I guess we'll be seeing white smoke in the not too distant future.

He's had one lung for 50 years.

He's 76, so he's had one lung for 76 years.


You're not good at this whole reading and thinking thing, are you?
 
gja
2013-03-14 01:38:54 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: tuna fingers: taco flavored keeses: He used to tango? With only one lung? Everybody knows it takes two to tango. He must be special.

That joke is so frigging awful.  I mean that is probably the most horrid attempt at humor I've ever seen here.
Reported.

[blog.lib.umn.edu image 432x363]

"What he said!"

/worst joke of my youth..."Yesterday was my birthday." "Oh, Happy Birthday! What did you get?" "My daddy's iron lung?" "Really? What did he have to say about it?" "Yuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh..."


Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiat. That's AWFUL!

/:::snort:::, i still laughed, "room for 1 more on the express to fire/brimstone?"
 
2013-03-14 01:44:01 PM  

Darke: I don't know what this means... but I'm afraid to google it at work.


Here's a hint.

i.qkme.me
 
2013-03-14 01:47:01 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Darke: I don't know what this means... but I'm afraid to google it at work.

Here's a hint.

[i.qkme.me image 500x458]


Sighhh.... yep, glad i didn't GIS that.
/cringe
 
2013-03-14 01:49:59 PM  

I_C_Weener: stuhayes2010: A 76 year old with one lung, I guess we'll be seeing white smoke in the not too distant future.

This.  I'm trying to figure out the logic here.  Last pope steps down because he got too old for the job...at age 85.  So, they go with a younger one who is healthy, right?


Look. The pool of possible papal hopefuls comes from the Cardinals themselves who are voting on it. Of course they're going to elect the oldest dude, so they can live to take a shot at the spot.
 
2013-03-14 01:58:52 PM  

Jaws75: How many people boast about being sincere advocates for the poor because the "live modestly" and yet at the same time have vacation homes?


How many vacation homes? Just one. Modesty!
 
2013-03-14 02:05:05 PM  
16. Goes to bed at 9:30 p.m. and wakes at 4:30 a.m.

One point that I have in common with the pontiff.
 
2013-03-14 02:05:46 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-14 02:12:26 PM  

nekom: SDRR: nekom: Rev. Skarekroe: nekom: Had a lung removed as a child?  That's pretty odd in itself.  That's usually associated with an older person either in the coal mining industry, asbestos or heavy smoker.  Must have been one doozy of an infection if it prompted them to remove a lung from a child.

He also used to tango a lot?  How do you tango with one lung?  You'd think intense physical activity would be pretty low on the list of things you can do.  But what do I know?

Well, that's miracle #1 then, right? So he only needs one more to become a saint. Or do they have to be posthumous miracles? My wife is vaguely Catholic but I admit I know little to nothing about it.

Aren't they all?

Quite a few are. I've heard the term "Social Mormon" used to describe people who really don't believe any of the hooplah, but their parents and friends are Mormons so they go through the motions. In that sense, I suppose the term "Social Catholic" fits my wife best. I'm not Catholic, and our wedding was at a small United Methodist church. Living in sin and all that.


We call it "Cultural" - Jewish, Mormon, Catholic - where you live the lifestyle, but don't hold the beliefs.

I consider myself culturally Lutheran. I like cement basement potlucks with hot dish, dessert bars and Jell-O salad.
 
2013-03-14 02:14:27 PM  

fartacus: Generation_D: 10. He called Argentina's legalization of gay marriage in 2010 a "destructive attack on God's plan."

11. He argued that gay adoption would "discriminate against children."


Hateful old sh*tbag.

You sound like the hateful one

     Its

fake outrage. He is just another brainwashed fool that thinks even if he doesn't believe homosexuality is normal he has to at least appear to agree with the overly vocal politically correct minority lest he be ridiculed by strangers on the internet and called horrible overused names like homophobe or intolerant.
 
2013-03-14 02:14:45 PM  

vernonFL: Pope Lando

When I die and (hopefully) go to Heaven, I want Pope Lando to say to me:


"You look absolutely beautiful. You truly belong here with us among the clouds"


You've just won the internet.
 
2013-03-14 02:26:45 PM  

Ohlookabutterfly: fartacus: Generation_D: 10. He called Argentina's legalization of gay marriage in 2010 a "destructive attack on God's plan."

11. He argued that gay adoption would "discriminate against children."


Hateful old sh*tbag.

You sound like the hateful one

     Its fake outrage. He is just another brainwashed fool that thinks even if he doesn't believe homosexuality is normal he has to at least appear to agree with the overly vocal politically correct minority lest he be ridiculed by strangers on the internet and called horrible overused names like homophobe or intolerant.


Or maybe he just doesn't approve of bigotry, you know, like a decent human being.
 
2013-03-14 02:26:45 PM  

Ohlookabutterfly: Its fake outrage. He is just another brainwashed fool that thinks even if he doesn't believe homosexuality is normal he has to at least appear to agree with the overly vocal politically correct minority lest he be ridiculed by strangers on the internet and called horrible overused names like homophobe or intolerant.


Oh, look, a dumbshiat.
 
2013-03-14 02:30:21 PM  
From what I heard he had _1_lobe_ removed from his lungs.
Human left lung has 2 lobes, and the right lung has 3 lobes.
So he'd still have approximately 80% lung function.

/I'm no papalatrician, but I play one on the internet...
 
2013-03-14 02:32:27 PM  

Madame Ovary: And the RCC doesn't contribute to poverty with their sexism, anti-contraception, anti-abortion messages?


Ok, so scratch that one...
 
2013-03-14 02:35:32 PM  

Magnus: LordOfThePings: borg: stuhayes2010: A 76 year old with one lung, I guess we'll be seeing white smoke in the not too distant future.

He's had one lung for 50 years.

He's 76, so he's had one lung for 76 years.

You're not good at this whole reading and thinking thing, are you?


Wooosh
 
2013-03-14 02:36:16 PM  
hes also supposed to be the last pope .Apparently after him comes hell.
Im not a Catholic and really not sure which graven images to bow down before and which ones to simply pay respects to... so I could be wrong. But to be on the safe side I think ill go torture some 'heretics'.Ill  watch a few blockbuster movies to get some pointers on how to do that
 
2013-03-14 02:45:35 PM  

The_Sponge: FTFA:

4. He has taken the name Pope Francis. Not Francis I yet. "It will become Francis I after we have a Francis II," the Vatican said.) It's the first time a new pope has taken a name that hasn't already been used by a former pope since Pope Lando in 913.


I think we just found out which Pope had the coolest name.

 
2013-03-14 02:56:53 PM  

HighOnCraic: The_Sponge: FTFA:

4. He has taken the name Pope Francis. Not Francis I yet. "It will become Francis I after we have a Francis II," the Vatican said.) It's the first time a new pope has taken a name that hasn't already been used by a former pope since Pope Lando in 913.


I think we just found out which Pope had the coolest name.


newkidsonthenet.com
 
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