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(New York Magazine)   Facts about Pope Francis: #26 Everyone calls him Psycho. #27 He don't like anyone touching his stuff. #28 If any of you homos touch him, he'll kill you. (Note: #28 is real)   ( nymag.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Pope Francis, Italian immigrants, gay adoption, free market capitalism, military dictatorship, Jesuits  
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22977 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Mar 2013 at 10:13 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-14 11:01:10 AM  

weirdneighbour: TheShavingofOccam123: tuna fingers: taco flavored keeses: He used to tango? With only one lung? Everybody knows it takes two to tango. He must be special.

That joke is so frigging awful.  I mean that is probably the most horrid attempt at humor I've ever seen here.
Reported.

[blog.lib.umn.edu image 432x363]

"What he said!"

/worst joke of my youth..."Yesterday was my birthday." "Oh, Happy Birthday! What did you get?" "My daddy's iron lung?" "Really? What did he have to say about it?" "Yuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh..."

Looks like the kid on the bottom right is getting a little 'upskirt'...giggity


(DINK!)

/Dink. Dink. Dink. Dink. Dink.....Ding
/I wish I didn't have to regularly turn off Family Guy after 15 seconds or so...It can be hilarious
 
2013-03-14 11:01:51 AM  
So hes a South American of Italian descent who decided he would take the name of France.

Fascinating.
 
2013-03-14 11:02:05 AM  
#29: Every time he handles a little boy's junk, an angel gets his wings.
 
2013-03-14 11:06:10 AM  

JohnnyCanuck: 25. Used to http://www.ansa.it/web/notizie/rubriche/english/2013/03/13/Pope-liked- tango_8394775.html">tango with his girlfriend before he "discovered [his] religious vocation."

That's the forbidden dance!


you're thinking of the Tango De La Muerte
 
2013-03-14 11:06:26 AM  
This from a man who wears a dress and works exclusively with men. In one of the most gay cities in the world, Vatican City.
 
2013-03-14 11:07:01 AM  
Came here for the Phelps "He's Gay" photograph, and leaving much disappointed.
 
2013-03-14 11:07:17 AM  
Well, I guess everyone is going to have to start learning Italian.

"Non conosgeve parliamente, signor devo me parlo sono Irallano di Napoil quando il habitare de Milano?"
 
2013-03-14 11:07:20 AM  
Why is it a big deal that he used to tango with his girlfriend anyhow?  As opposed to what... tangoing by himself?  I think we're all very clear on the number of people required to tango.
 
2013-03-14 11:07:36 AM  
vtesone.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-14 11:10:19 AM  
I'm just glad we get to use the meme in context now...

Lighten up Francis
 
2013-03-14 11:11:16 AM  

Prank Monkey: I'm not sure why there is all this surprise/discussion about how he doesn't support gay marraige. Did people actually think the pope of the freakin Catholic church actually would? Really?


We were expecting them to actually try to fix their image problem and appoint someone that presents at least a mildly nuanced viewpoint and a conciliatory tone, yes.  I mean, the church's primary point of fame for essentially all non-Catholics and a number of Catholics is "condones the gay rape of prepubescent children by clergymen".  So grabbing someone that goes all fire-and-brimstone on sexual issues is pretty much the single stupidest thing they could do here.

I mean, some combination of a resigned "well, render unto Caesar" and maybe a "we hate the sin, but don't hate the sinner, you can't [perform action x] in our churches but you can still confess and attend mass and so on because we don't wanna be dicks about it" is actually pretty par for the course for both Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular, and would cause a lot of criticism to die down.  The church didn't survive half a dozen schisms and a reformation by taking a firm stance and drawing a line in the sand, they've always bent with the wind... so I'm not sure why they're determined to take their faith down in flames with them like the protestants this time.
 
2013-03-14 11:13:19 AM  

Prank Monkey: Phoenix_M: Prank Monkey: I'm not sure why there is all this surprise/discussion about how he doesn't support gay marraige. Did people actually think the pope of the freakin Catholic church actually would? Really?

I worked for the Jesuits for 15 years. It's the Gay wing of the Catholic church and they all about education and science.

I am going to admit my ignorance about the Catholic church but wouldn't that mean that this is a positive thing? Nothing changes overnight but could that mean that this pope could start things moving in a positive, more modern direction?



I agree, and there is this:
12. Gave a speech in 2012 "accusing fellow church officials of hypocrisy for forgetting that Jesus Christ bathed lepers and ate with prostitutes."

and

21. Is a critic of the International Monetary Fund and free-market capitalism for contributing to poverty.

Which are steps in the positive direction.
 
2013-03-14 11:13:19 AM  

TheShavingofOccam123: Well, I guess everyone is going to have to start learning Italian.

"Non conosgeve parliamente, signor devo me parlo sono Irallano di Napoil quando il habitare de Milano?"


*translation* Hey all you wops, get off of my lawn"

/can't remember what album
 
2013-03-14 11:13:22 AM  
#30. Saves on the water bill by following the dictum "Si flavescit, dimittes eam vieta" (if it's yellow, let it mellow). Also suspected of waffle-stomping in the shower.
 
2013-03-14 11:13:29 AM  

mikaloyd: Is Pope touching a sport in the gay community?


It's like counting coup.
 
2013-03-14 11:14:05 AM  

markfara: new pope


Eh, I prefer Pope Classic.
 
2013-03-14 11:16:15 AM  
 
2013-03-14 11:16:36 AM  

vernonFL: Pope Lando

When I die and (hopefully) go to Heaven, I want Pope Lando to say to me:


"You look absolutely beautiful. You truly belong here with us among the clouds"



*Applause*
 
2013-03-14 11:17:04 AM  

serial_crusher: Takes public transportation and lives in a modest home

what public transportation:
[t2.gstatic.com image 276x183]
and a modest home
[www.theglobalistreport.com image 781x550]
might look like


Well, if you are in charge of a world wide ring of pederasts, you want to have a lot of doors for the cops to knock on, once we find one with enough balls to actually bring you in.
 
2013-03-14 11:17:12 AM  

The_Sponge: FTFA:

4. He has taken the name Pope Francis. Not Francis I yet. "It will become Francis I after we have a Francis II," the Vatican said.) It's the first time a new pope has taken a name that hasn't already been used by a former pope since Pope Lando in 913.


I think we just found out which Pope had the coolest name.


L: Lando System?
H: Lando is not a system, he's a pope.
 
2013-03-14 11:18:08 AM  
I don't think subby knows how to troll very well. No citation for Note 28 is a complete fail.
 
2013-03-14 11:18:17 AM  
I have a feeling that this entire papacy will involve me using up lots of popcorn.
 
2013-03-14 11:18:19 AM  

Prank Monkey: Phoenix_M: Prank Monkey: I'm not sure why there is all this surprise/discussion about how he doesn't support gay marraige. Did people actually think the pope of the freakin Catholic church actually would? Really?

I worked for the Jesuits for 15 years. It's the Gay wing of the Catholic church and they all about education and science.

I am going to admit my ignorance about the Catholic church but wouldn't that mean that this is a positive thing? Nothing changes overnight but could that mean that this pope could start things moving in a positive, more modern direction?


That's such a copout. The guy is the pope. He can more or less change whatever he wants by decree. the church isn't a democracy.

And views towards gay marriage have pretty much changed in the United States overnight.
 
2013-03-14 11:18:53 AM  
FTFA:   21. Is a critic of the International Monetary Fund and free-market capitalism for contributing to poverty.

Yeah, Republicans will *love* this guy.
 
2013-03-14 11:20:16 AM  

mikaloyd: Nevermind all the unimportant stuff. Does the Pope smoke dope ?


Every day.
 
2013-03-14 11:20:33 AM  

TikiGawd: "21. Is a critic of the International Monetary Fund and free-market capitalism for contributing to poverty."

One out of twenty-five aint bad. Right?


And the RCC doesn't contribute to poverty with their sexism, anti-contraception, anti-abortion messages?
 
2013-03-14 11:21:22 AM  

weirdneighbour: mikaloyd: Nevermind all the unimportant stuff. Does the Pope smoke dope ?

That's what did in his one lung.
/does he poop in the woods?


Where his holiness does his business is his business.
 
2013-03-14 11:23:06 AM  
Good for him for serving aids patients, criticizing pastors who refuse to baptize the children of single mothers, and for recognizing that caring for the poor is the role of the church, not the government.
 
2013-03-14 11:24:56 AM  

bloatboy: weirdneighbour: mikaloyd: Nevermind all the unimportant stuff. Does the Pope smoke dope ?

That's what did in his one lung.
/does he poop in the woods?

Where his holiness does his business is his business.


Well, I've been using the term 'holy shiat' all my life and I just thought it would be nice too actually see some.
 
2013-03-14 11:32:43 AM  

STRYPERSWINE: Good for him for serving aids patients, criticizing pastors who refuse to baptize the children of single mothers, and for recognizing that caring for the poor is the role of the church, not the government.


i148.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-14 11:32:49 AM  

LordOfThePings: borg: stuhayes2010: A 76 year old with one lung, I guess we'll be seeing white smoke in the not too distant future.

He's had one lung for 50 years.

He's 76, so he's had one lung for 76 years.


slowclap.gif
 
2013-03-14 11:33:20 AM  

The_Sponge: FTFA:

4. He has taken the name Pope Francis. Not Francis I yet. "It will become Francis I after we have a Francis II," the Vatican said.) It's the first time a new pope has taken a name that hasn't already been used by a former pope since Pope Lando in 913.


I think we just found out which Pope had the coolest name.


He is one smoove pope that works every time.
 
2013-03-14 11:34:51 AM  

WTF Indeed: Pope threads like these should have a Catholic primer for commenters.


We also need a die-hard Catholic like the Jews have with Tatsuma.
 
2013-03-14 11:35:14 AM  
 
2013-03-14 11:36:37 AM  

Prank Monkey: I'm not sure why there is all this surprise/discussion about how he doesn't support gay marraige. Did people actually think the pope of the freakin Catholic church actually would? Really?


Are people surprised? No, of course not. I think most hoped he wouldn't be a flaming douchebag like the last Pope, all anti-gay and such.

Oh well, I'm still hoping the Space Pope will come down, eat this human wannabe and then preach the true religion of space and time.

/funny, I don't look drewish
 
2013-03-14 11:36:55 AM  
heavymetal:


I agree, and there is this:
12. Gave a speech in 2012 "accusing fellow church officials of hypocrisy for forgetting that Jesus Christ bathed lepers and ate with prostitutes."

and

21. Is a critic of the International Monetary Fund and free-market capitalism for contributing to poverty.

Which are steps in the positive direction.


But he's not gay friendly and opposes abortion.  He is clearly the worst human being on Earth and is in charge of leading the most destructive church on the planet.

Worse than Hitler.
 
2013-03-14 11:37:27 AM  

I_C_Weener: stuhayes2010: A 76 year old with one lung, I guess we'll be seeing white smoke in the not too distant future.

This.  I'm trying to figure out the logic here.  Last pope steps down because he got too old for the job...at age 85.  So, they go with a younger one who is healthy, right?


If that's the case then it's not too late to launch my own bid to become the next pope.

WHY YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR POPE GORDON

As pope, I will institute the folllowing changes:
To the Church:

- There will no longer be any problem with being gay or same-sex marriage.
- Premarital sex will be permitted provided that contraception is used.
- Clergy will no longer be required to be celibate. But if we catch any of them touching kids they'll be handed over to the civil authorities straight away along with all of the evidence we have against them.
- Communion wafers will be available in a variety of delicious flavours.

To the office of the Pope itself:

- The Popemobile will be thoroughly pimped out. Hydraulics will be installed.
- The Pope will no longer wear a dress. The pope will wear a custom-tailored zoot suit and dark sunglasses.
- Just to be sure about the clergy no longer being celibate. The Pope will no longer be celibate.
- A wide assortment of merchandise will be sold with all proceeds going to charity. Buy your Pope Gordon action figure today!
 
2013-03-14 11:38:06 AM  

walkerhound: We also need a die-hard Catholic like the Jews have with Tatsuma.


There's really no such thing as a diehard Catholic since most "Goes to mass every day" Catholic have been exposed to Jesuits all their life. Jesuits are the hippies of the Catholic Church.
 
2013-03-14 11:38:54 AM  
There was a Pope Lando?  Like Pope Lando Calrician?  He was the most awesome Pope ever!!!
 
2013-03-14 11:40:11 AM  

show me: What about friggin' John Paul?


You mean, pope john paul george ringo?

/let it be.
 
2013-03-14 11:41:01 AM  

Gordon Bennett: - A wide assortment of merchandise will be sold with all proceeds going to charity. Buy your Pope Gordon action figure today!


Same old same old.  I want Change!
 
2013-03-14 11:41:34 AM  

borg: The_Sponge: FTFA:

4. He has taken the name Pope Francis. Not Francis I yet. "It will become Francis I after we have a Francis II," the Vatican said.) It's the first time a new pope has taken a name that hasn't already been used by a former pope since Pope Lando in 913.


I think we just found out which Pope had the coolest name.

I think they mean Pope John Paul in 1978


By whom you mean Pope John Paul II?
 
2013-03-14 11:41:42 AM  
#29: Was an agitator for the Argentine invasion of the Falklands: "In the fight against the English "heathen" no Argentine churchman was more fanatical than Fr Jorge Piccinalli...."
http://www.thetablet.co.uk/article/4431
 
2013-03-14 11:41:47 AM  

xanadian: FTFA:   21. Is a critic of the International Monetary Fund and free-market capitalism for contributing to poverty.

Yeah, Republicans will *love* this guy.


I've read opinions from conservatives where they blast this guy.

I've read opinions from liberals where they blast this guy.

He's doing it right.
 
2013-03-14 11:43:24 AM  

bdub77: The_Sponge: FTFA:

4. He has taken the name Pope Francis. Not Francis I yet. "It will become Francis I after we have a Francis II," the Vatican said.) It's the first time a new pope has taken a name that hasn't already been used by a former pope since Pope Lando in 913.


I think we just found out which Pope had the coolest name.

[a4.ec-images.myspacecdn.com image 170x170]



You know why Christians should pray to pope Lando when they ask for anything?

well, because when they pray to pope Lando...

bfcgroup.com
 
2013-03-14 11:43:53 AM  
cdn.glockforum.com
 
2013-03-14 11:44:38 AM  
He looks like a Chester.
 
2013-03-14 11:46:55 AM  

borg: stuhayes2010: A 76 year old with one lung, I guess we'll be seeing white smoke in the not too distant future.

He's had one lung for 50 years.


So he's 76, had a lung removed in his childhood, but was operating on no lungs at all until he was 26 at which point he had a single lung installed?
 
2013-03-14 11:48:24 AM  

Da miracles uf da new Pope.

#29: He once cured a ham.
#30: He made a lame man blind.
#31: He walked underwater!

 
2013-03-14 11:49:45 AM  

LordOfThePings: borg: stuhayes2010: A 76 year old with one lung, I guess we'll be seeing white smoke in the not too distant future.

He's had one lung for 50 years.

He's 76, so he's had one lung for 76 years.


We weren't talking about HIS lung.
 
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