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(New York Magazine)   Facts about Pope Francis: #26 Everyone calls him Psycho. #27 He don't like anyone touching his stuff. #28 If any of you homos touch him, he'll kill you. (Note: #28 is real)   (nymag.com) divider line 228
    More: Interesting, Pope Francis, Italian immigrants, gay adoption, free market capitalism, military dictatorship, Jesuits  
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22880 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Mar 2013 at 10:13 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-14 10:30:37 AM

borg: I think they mean Pope John Paul in 1978


Both "John" and "Paul" had been used by previous Pope's before, just not in combination.  Francis has never been used, just like Lando before him.
 
m00
2013-03-14 10:30:40 AM
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-03-14 10:30:42 AM
I'm not surprised that the new pope is a homophobe. What I've noticed, though, is how many articles are praising this guy as an advocate for the poor and, as number 14 in this article mentions, that he lived modestly and took public transportation while ignoring the fact that he had his own vacation home while he was in Agentina. How many people boast about being sincere advocates for the poor because the "live modestly" and yet at the same time have vacation homes?

Also note number 17, that he refuses to do interviews. Dick Cheney and Sarah Palin will LOVE this guy.
 
2013-03-14 10:30:47 AM

Mercutio74: stuhayes2010: A 76 year old with one lung, I guess we'll be seeing white smoke in the not too distant future.

Although interestingly the other lung was removed when he was a kid, and it makes me wonder if his body was able to increase the efficiency and/or size of the existing lung as he grew into an adult.  I think if he had his lung removed a couple of years ago, he'd probably already be dead.


There is more room for Jesus
 
2013-03-14 10:30:48 AM

borg: stuhayes2010: A 76 year old with one lung, I guess we'll be seeing white smoke in the not too distant future.

He's had one lung for 50 years.


He's 76, so he's had one lung for 76 years.
 
2013-03-14 10:31:00 AM
"21. Is a critic of the International Monetary Fund and free-market capitalism for contributing to poverty."

One out of twenty-five aint bad. Right?
 
2013-03-14 10:31:15 AM
Does it ever matter who they elect?
 
2013-03-14 10:31:17 AM

scottydoesntknow: Demanded that an art exhibit that "depicted images of Catholic saints, Jesus Christ and the Virgin Mary in a blender, an electric toaster and a frying pan, among other unconventional settings" be shut down, calling it "blasphemous."

So it's blasphemous when someone makes an art exhibit about it, but every time you see Jesus in a tortilla it's a miracle?



Mmmm, sacrilicious.
 
2013-03-14 10:31:57 AM

tuna fingers: taco flavored keeses: He used to tango? With only one lung? Everybody knows it takes two to tango. He must be special.

That joke is so frigging awful.  I mean that is probably the most horrid attempt at humor I've ever seen here.
Reported.


blog.lib.umn.edu

"What he said!"


/worst joke of my youth..."Yesterday was my birthday." "Oh, Happy Birthday! What did you get?" "My daddy's iron lung?" "Really? What did he have to say about it?" "Yuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh..."
 
2013-03-14 10:32:26 AM
#29 He flogs the bishop.
 
2013-03-14 10:32:33 AM
was so hoping cardinal socola was named pope.

i'll bet all the jebbies are pounding each other on the back today.
 
2013-03-14 10:33:20 AM

I_C_Weener: Could be worse. He could be an ex-Nazi.


And suddenly the reason they picked an Argentinian becomes clear.
 
2013-03-14 10:33:31 AM

Phoenix_M: Prank Monkey: I'm not sure why there is all this surprise/discussion about how he doesn't support gay marraige. Did people actually think the pope of the freakin Catholic church actually would? Really?

I worked for the Jesuits for 15 years. It's the Gay wing of the Catholic church and they all about education and science.


Yep. In fact the new Pope has a degree in Chemistry. While he is on the Right side of the Jesuit movement, he is to the left of the existing power structure. I am actually quite surprised he was elected. He must know where a lot of sodomized alter boys are buried.
 
2013-03-14 10:33:44 AM
Little known fact. He is NOT named after Francis of Assisi.

shop.tcm.com
 
2013-03-14 10:34:12 AM

vernonFL: Pope Lando

When I die and (hopefully) go to Heaven, I want Pope Lando to say to me:


"You look absolutely beautiful. You truly belong here with us among the clouds"


Thanks for the spit-take!  That was awesome.
 
2013-03-14 10:34:29 AM

Barbecue Bob: [img.geocaching.com image 180x180]


Came for 'lighten up'.
Leaving happy.
 
2013-03-14 10:34:39 AM
12. Gave a speech in 2012 "accusing fellow church officials of hypocrisy for forgetting that Jesus Christ bathed lepers and ate with prostitutes."

Christianity would be a kickass religion if that was 'ate lepers and bathed with prostitutes'.
 
2013-03-14 10:35:15 AM

mikaloyd: Nevermind all the unimportant stuff. Does the Pope smoke dope ?


That's what did in his one lung.
/does he poop in the woods?
 
2013-03-14 10:36:08 AM

Jaws75: I'm not surprised that the new pope is a homophobe. What I've noticed, though, is how many articles are praising this guy as an advocate for the poor and, as number 14 in this article mentions, that he lived modestly and took public transportation while ignoring the fact that he had his own vacation home while he was in Agentina. How many people boast about being sincere advocates for the poor because the "live modestly" and yet at the same time have vacation homes?


Well, they've got to say something positive about a new pope.  You can't simply say, "Yeah, this picked this guy because he played the political game the best". They had an even harder time with the last dude, as I recall they best thing they could say about him was that he had a conservative viewpoint on Catholicism and then they'd make up something beneficial that a conservative pope might do for the sect.  Of course, they didn't realize at the time that he was instrumental in protecting child diddlers which is probably a contributing factor to him emeritiring.

/Yup, I made up the word "emeritiring"
 
2013-03-14 10:37:27 AM
I read he likes to suck the filling out of the jelly donuts, puts them back and then sits back and waits for someone to grab one.   And then he laughs........and laughs
 
2013-03-14 10:38:12 AM
25. Used to http://www.ansa.it/web/notizie/rubriche/english/2013/03/13/Pope-liked- tango_8394775.html">tango with his girlfriend before he "discovered [his] religious vocation."

That's the forbidden dance!
 
2013-03-14 10:38:16 AM

I_C_Weener: stuhayes2010: A 76 year old with one lung, I guess we'll be seeing white smoke in the not too distant future.

This.  I'm trying to figure out the logic here.  Last pope steps down because he got too old for the job...at age 85.  So, they go with a younger one who is healthy, right?


He's warm and friendly, so he's a good PR man unlike the recently departed one.  The big question is if he can replace the Curia or not.  He personally does not come from a church with a large bureaucracy, so he can't just send everyone in Rome to some monastery and bring in his guys to replace them (whereas supposedly the Italian candidate had a massive power base and could have easily brought in his guys quickly).  However Francis is a Jesuit so he could clean house and bring Jesuits in en masse.  The question seems to be which one he's do, which in turns shows if entrenched scumbags won or not.
 
2013-03-14 10:38:47 AM

nekom: Had a lung removed as a child?  That's pretty odd in itself.  That's usually associated with an older person either in the coal mining industry, asbestos or heavy smoker.  Must have been one doozy of an infection if it prompted them to remove a lung from a child.


They had to make room for the upgrade to his Cultural Advancement Denial subsystems.
 
2013-03-14 10:38:52 AM

karnal: I read he likes to suck the filling out of the jelly donuts, puts them back and then sits back and waits for someone to grab one.   And then he laughs........and laughs


...and then turns it into a parable about expecting a reward for doing nothing.

/now THAT'S poping.
 
2013-03-14 10:39:30 AM

TheShavingofOccam123: tuna fingers: taco flavored keeses: He used to tango? With only one lung? Everybody knows it takes two to tango. He must be special.

That joke is so frigging awful.  I mean that is probably the most horrid attempt at humor I've ever seen here.
Reported.

[blog.lib.umn.edu image 432x363]

"What he said!"

/worst joke of my youth..."Yesterday was my birthday." "Oh, Happy Birthday! What did you get?" "My daddy's iron lung?" "Really? What did he have to say about it?" "Yuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh..."


Looks like the kid on the bottom right is getting a little 'upskirt'...giggity
 
2013-03-14 10:40:08 AM
I want to learn more about Pope Lando.
 
2013-03-14 10:40:21 AM
I'm still waiting for Pope Lance I, who with the help of his consort, Steve, will fabulously redecorate the Vatican to include dreamy pastels, ficus trees and tract lighting.
 
2013-03-14 10:40:28 AM

nekom: Had a lung removed as a child?  That's pretty odd in itself.  That's usually associated with an older person either in the coal mining industry, asbestos or heavy smoker.  Must have been one doozy of an infection if it prompted them to remove a lung from a child.


He's 76; medicine's changed quite a bit in the last 70 years.  I know that they used to do pneumonectomies (and phrenic nerve transections, and other messed up stuff) for tuberculosis infections, so maybe he had the consumption at some point.
 
2013-03-14 10:40:42 AM

BalugaJoe: I want to learn more about Pope Lando.


I think he lost the Popemobile in a card game.
 
2013-03-14 10:42:38 AM

Mercutio74: karnal: I read he likes to suck the filling out of the jelly donuts, puts them back and then sits back and waits for someone to grab one.   And then he laughs........and laughs

...and then turns it into a parable about expecting a reward for doing nothing.

/now THAT'S pooping.



And a jelly poop at that
 
2013-03-14 10:44:05 AM
His full Pope name was Lando Cahristening
 
2013-03-14 10:44:59 AM
"visited a hospice to kiss and wash the feet of 12 AIDS patients"

I guess this is an impressive act when your ignorant minions believe AIDS can be transmitted by skin contact.
 
2013-03-14 10:46:31 AM
i220.photobucket.com
How did Ed Wynn become Pope? He's Jewish.....and dead.
 
2013-03-14 10:47:16 AM
Harold Ramis has never gotten more free advertising for his work in his life.
 
2013-03-14 10:47:49 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: francis asissy


Actually, he didn't take the Francis from asisi, he took it from xavier.

No pope will ever be the Francis asisi, he was too jesus like, and required poverty.

Xavier started an inquisition in india. Much more popey
 
2013-03-14 10:49:05 AM
His costume is like a flashier version of the KKK costume
 
2013-03-14 10:49:22 AM
You cannot be an homophobe if you like the dance of Uruguay.
 
2013-03-14 10:49:31 AM
Next pope will be Pope McLovin. Now that's cool!
 
2013-03-14 10:50:22 AM

Godscrack: "visited a hospice to kiss and wash the feet of 12 AIDS patients"

I guess this is an impressive act when your ignorant minions believe AIDS can be transmitted by skin contact.


What the foot of an AIDS patient might look like:
www.reversegangrene.com
 
2013-03-14 10:50:51 AM
img259.imageshack.us
 
2013-03-14 10:51:56 AM

BalugaJoe: I want to learn more about Pope Lando.

i25.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-14 10:53:37 AM

Prank Monkey: Phoenix_M: Prank Monkey: I'm not sure why there is all this surprise/discussion about how he doesn't support gay marraige. Did people actually think the pope of the freakin Catholic church actually would? Really?

I worked for the Jesuits for 15 years. It's the Gay wing of the Catholic church and they all about education and science.

I am going to admit my ignorance about the Catholic church but wouldn't that mean that this is a positive thing? Nothing changes overnight but could that mean that this pope could start things moving in a positive, more modern direction?



That's unlikely. From what I understand he's at odds with the Jesuits in South America on poverty and wealth. They support the church actually advocating for and pressuring governments for solutions to end poverty and change wealth disparity... and he opposes that. Basically, he thinks the church should just continue to use it as a marketing tool, rather then support actual fixes. He talks about pverty plenty, generally in the manner of, "You should be nicer to poor people when you talk to them."

The best we could hope for is that now that he's ostensibly the guy in charge of the church that maybe he might possibly have been suppressing his real feelings on poverty issues, and now feels like he could start actually advocating for changes to the problems he likes to opine about... but that seems unlikely since he opposed the fellow Jesuits who wanted just that.

He's apparently extremely socially conservative, which is probably why he was picked, and so the church joining the modern world on social issues is even less likely... as in - don't hold your breath because it just 'aint gonna happen. He's a staunch anti-gay bigot, and he opposes birth control.

So they picked a pope who previously has led a church that not only turned a blind eye to atrocities during his rule, but actually supported the regime commiting them, is still anachronistic about birth control, and is still bigoted against gays - but also has a carefully crafted image as someone who is against poverty, yet won't go so far as to say we should demand that something actually be done to fix it. So... not really a departure from the last pope whatsoever except he was born on another continent. Whoopty-freakin' doo...
 
2013-03-14 10:54:41 AM
Looks like the liberal demonization of this man is in full swing. After all, the usual liberal crackpots aren't going to do anything positive for this world. They're not going to dedicate their lives to a larger cause, and they're not capable of helping anyone but them selves. All they can do is label, attack, and criticize. That's all they're really capable of as you can see right here.
 
2013-03-14 10:55:01 AM
14. Takes public transportation and lives in a modest home.

The praise he's receiving for flying coach and using public transportation is driving me nuts. He works for a charity; you'd think the church would have a travel policy that bars people from flying business and first class. The less money being spent on premium travel is more money that can go to things like feeding the poor.
 
2013-03-14 10:56:29 AM

busy chillin': one lung and 76. Nice.

And God said unto the Pope "I would rather my children be sad and lonely in the care of orphanage then in a loving home with two dads or moms. And so it was."


Imam so over religion.


i see what you did there.
 
2013-03-14 10:57:11 AM

Mercutio74: BalugaJoe: I want to learn more about Pope Lando.

I think he lost the Popemobile in a card game.


But after one of his Conclave was kidnapped by Jabra the Hut(-dweller), he shows up in the Popemobile wearing the cardinal's clothes.

// it's a weird scene, man
 
2013-03-14 10:57:56 AM

scottydoesntknow: serial_crusher: Takes public transportation and lives in a modest home

what public transportation:
[t2.gstatic.com image 276x183]
and a modest home
[www.theglobalistreport.com image 781x550]
might look like

Those are perks of the job. Unless he orders all the walls to be trimmed in gold, I'm not gonna fault him for moving into the Catholic's version of the White House.

But I doubt that much will change with this pope and every other pope before him.


That's quite a perk for an organization that is a nonprofit. It's not like he's the CEO of Goldman.
 
2013-03-14 10:58:02 AM

Rev. Skarekroe: How do you tango with one lung?  You'd think intense physical activity would be pretty low on the list of things you can do.  But what do I know?


Tango = walking.
 
2013-03-14 10:58:37 AM

stampylives: busy chillin': one lung and 76. Nice.

And God said unto the Pope "I would rather my children be sad and lonely in the care of orphanage then in a loving home with two dads or moms. And so it was."


Imam so over religion.

i see what you did there.


I didn't even see what I did there, so I googled it....that was seriously a typo...crazy how that worked out though.
 
2013-03-14 11:00:17 AM
Pope threads like these should have a Catholic primer for commenters.
 
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