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(Huffington Post)   Now that a new Pope has been selected, the Holy Church can now move on from its dark past of shame and begin a new era of......what? Aw goddammitsomuch   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 199
    More: Obvious, Jorge Mario Bergoglio, kidnappings, Jesuits, involvement  
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22687 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Mar 2013 at 12:23 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-13 11:48:44 PM
He looks like the guy from those Infiniti commercials back in the 90s, who was also a James Bond villain in the forgettable "Tomorrow Never Dies"
 
2013-03-13 11:53:43 PM
According to "The Silence,"

Doctor!!!
 
2013-03-13 11:57:23 PM
Really? We're surprised that a senior member of one of the most corrupt organizations on this planet may have a skeleton or two in his closet? Hell, I'd wager that absolutely none of the cardinals are innocent of harbouring sexual predators, so what's a kidnapping or two then?
 
2013-03-14 12:02:29 AM
There is no way someone gets that high in an organization such as the Catholic Church and has no skeletons in their closet.
 
2013-03-14 12:05:57 AM
obligatory
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-14 12:06:51 AM
Hey, Hitler youth to Pinochet stooge is making progress, right?
 
2013-03-14 12:13:06 AM
it's too early yet to say which way this one is gonna jump.
 
2013-03-14 12:14:39 AM
Pope goes the weasel
 
2013-03-14 12:22:58 AM
First Jesuit pope ever. That probably won't garner much discussion.
 
2013-03-14 12:23:24 AM
The priests were found "drugged and seminude, in a field"

As Catholic scandals go, I have to say I like any Pope who has a scandal attached to him that sounds like it should start with "Two Jesuits walk into a bar..."
 
2013-03-14 12:27:05 AM
It's always something.

/I am jack's complete lack of surprise
 
2013-03-14 12:27:08 AM
Nobody crosses Frankie Hats.
 
2013-03-14 12:28:52 AM
His last name looks like 'Beer Goggles'
 
2013-03-14 12:29:06 AM
I just wanna know which Star Wars character we'll be using to mock him.
 
2013-03-14 12:29:35 AM
And so it begins...
/first to say it!
 
2013-03-14 12:30:25 AM
not seeing the issue here

he tried to protect his people during a time of strife, and when two got "Arrested" for breaking the "law of the land" he got in to the dictators inner circle to get his people released
 
2013-03-14 12:30:39 AM

Gwendolyn: There is no way someone gets that high in an organization such as the Catholic Church and has no skeletons in their closet.


I'm not even Catholic and I have a few dead hookers I mean skeletons in my closet
 
2013-03-14 12:31:14 AM

MadSkillz: He looks like the guy from those Infiniti commercials back in the 90s, who was also a James Bond villain in the forgettable "Tomorrow Never Dies"


I was going to say he looks like the bad guy in The Adventures of Baron Von Munchausen. Turns out it's the same guy.
llamabutchers.mu.nu
Good call.
 
2013-03-14 12:31:16 AM

Triumph: First Jesuit pope ever. That probably won't garner much discussion.


I thought Jesuits weren't supposed to be homophobic bigots.
 
2013-03-14 12:31:30 AM
I'm curious, when and how do papal candidates get 'vetted' for these sorts of shenanigans? Is every Cardinal subjected to a certain amount of scrutiny? Is it possible for someone to move up the ranks peacefully without getting themselves entangled in an internal scrum that would require a thorough muckraking?
 
2013-03-14 12:31:51 AM
"They surfaced five months later, drugged and seminude, in a field,"

So wrong that i laughed at that.
 
2013-03-14 12:32:11 AM
TFA: Per the, "Yorio accused Bergoglio of effectively handing them over to the death squads by declining to tell the regime that he endorsed their work. Jalics refused to discuss it after moving into seclusion in a German monastery." Bergoglio discussed the incident with Sergio Rubin, his authorized biographer.

This is idiotic. First off, 'effectively handed them over' is not the same as sold them out. Simply because the Cardinal was smart enough to keep his mouth shut does not make him a villain in any regard (except for the James Bond-ish way). Secondly, the two priests didn't die. And thirdly, What was the Cardinal supposed to do? Actively work against the ruling military junta? This is stupid media bullshiat at its finest.
 
2013-03-14 12:33:39 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-14 12:33:56 AM
So is it too early for a "Lighten up Francis" reference?
 
2013-03-14 12:35:23 AM
Let the smearing continue.  Anti-Catholic bigotry is popular again I see.
 
2013-03-14 12:36:02 AM

phlegmmo: obligatory
[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x268]


Headline has it right.
 
2013-03-14 12:36:43 AM

splohn: Let the smearing continue.  Anti-Catholic bigotry is popular again I see.


Irish need not apply.
 
2013-03-14 12:37:37 AM

Yaxe: TFA: Per the, "Yorio accused Bergoglio of effectively handing them over to the death squads by declining to tell the regime that he endorsed their work. Jalics refused to discuss it after moving into seclusion in a German monastery." Bergoglio discussed the incident with Sergio Rubin, his authorized biographer.

This is idiotic. First off, 'effectively handed them over' is not the same as sold them out. Simply because the Cardinal was smart enough to keep his mouth shut does not make him a villain in any regard (except for the James Bond-ish way). Secondly, the two priests didn't die. And thirdly, What was the Cardinal supposed to do? Actively work against the ruling military junta? This is stupid media bullshiat at its finest.



Please. This is Fark. What do you think you're doing? Take that logic shiat to The Economist letters section.
 
2013-03-14 12:38:09 AM
Has anyone noticed that this article is basically about throwing a bunch of unsubstantiated sh*t at the Pope in case any of it sticks? Nothing was ever proved, but we get to basically tar and feather this guy anyway, because as TFA says:

"Yorio accused Bergoglio of effectively handing them over to the death squads by declining to tell the regime that he endorsed their work."

In other words, you can be accused of being an accomplice to kidnapping simply by not saying anything. Incredible.
 
2013-03-14 12:38:32 AM

Therion: Hey, Hitler youth to Pinochet stooge is making progress, right?


Homophobic Hitler youth who possibly raped children (or at the very least, helped cover for the people who did) to homophobic Pinochet stooge who possibly kidnapped two men (or at the very least, sold them out to the people who did). Yep, that Catholic Church sure knows how to resonate with the people of today!
 
2013-03-14 12:38:40 AM

splohn: Let the smearing continue.  Anti-Catholic bigotry is popular again I see.


You are right. We should follow the Catholics example and be more tolerant of different lifestyles.
 
2013-03-14 12:38:47 AM

phlegmmo: obligatory
[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x268]


This adds so much to the discussion, thanks Grammaristas!
 
2013-03-14 12:39:24 AM
If this is all they can dig up on this guy, I'm actually encouraged.

From the sounds of the article, he merely kept his mouth shut to the ruling party about his 'subversive' activities, and when the two got grabbed, went out of his way to get them released.
 
2013-03-14 12:39:34 AM
At this point I think we should be making lists of who in the Catholic Church  hasn't done something horribly bad previously...
 
2013-03-14 12:39:38 AM

Bermuda59: So is it too early for a "Lighten up Francis" reference?


Prolly by a day or two. He has to stick his Pravdas in his mouth first.
 
2013-03-14 12:39:58 AM

splohn: Let the smearing continue.  Anti-Catholic bigotry is popular again I see.


It's not just Catholics.  We mock Mormons too
 
2013-03-14 12:40:00 AM
Wow, I went to church back in the '77 to '85 era, I bet this pope totally farking "gets it"
 
2013-03-14 12:40:11 AM

farkingismybusiness: MadSkillz: He looks like the guy from those Infiniti commercials back in the 90s, who was also a James Bond villain in the forgettable "Tomorrow Never Dies"

I was going to say he looks like the bad guy in The Adventures of Baron Von Munchausen. Turns out it's the same guy.
[llamabutchers.mu.nu image 475x336]
Good call.


It's Mr. Dark (he's so much hotter with a beard.)

I think he looks like this Ed Wynn.
 
2013-03-14 12:40:55 AM

splohn: Let the smearing continue.  Anti-Catholic bigotry is popular again I see.


oh there might be a bit of that here and there, but to be honest I think people simply lost respect for the Church after they covered up kiddie rape and got involved in various tax dodging schemes.  How are we supposed to take the church seriously now?  they covered up DECADES of kiddie rape.  they knew it was wrong and did it anyway.  you cannot claim to be any sort of moral authority after being complicit in covering up the rape of who knows how many children...
 
2013-03-14 12:40:55 AM

farkingismybusiness: MadSkillz: He looks like the guy from those Infiniti commercials back in the 90s, who was also a James Bond villain in the forgettable "Tomorrow Never Dies"

I was going to say he looks like the bad guy in The Adventures of Baron Von Munchausen. Turns out it's the same guy.
[llamabutchers.mu.nu image 475x336]
Good call.


I still think of him as the Infinity spokesman. I still hear his breathless voiceover for the "incredible i30" in my head every time I see an Infinity dealer.
 
2013-03-14 12:41:50 AM

farkingismybusiness: MadSkillz: He looks like the guy from those Infiniti commercials back in the 90s, who was also a James Bond villain in the forgettable "Tomorrow Never Dies"

I was going to say he looks like the bad guy in The Adventures of Baron Von Munchausen. Turns out it's the same guy.
[llamabutchers.mu.nu image 475x336]
Good call.


I can't be the only one who remembers him in Jumpin' Jack Flash.

/I'm not even that old
 
2013-03-14 12:42:21 AM

JohnAnnArbor: phlegmmo: obligatory
[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x268]

Headline has it right.


Yeah, but not originally.  And now my post makes me look like an idiot.


"Bra-VO."
www.movievillains.com
 
2013-03-14 12:44:39 AM

Smeggy Smurf: splohn: Let the smearing continue.  Anti-Catholic bigotry is popular again I see.

It's not just Catholics.  We mock Mormons too


So do I. Raised as one- I know the best jokes.
 
2013-03-14 12:45:48 AM

Peki: I can't be the only one who remembers him in Jumpin' Jack Flash.

/I'm not even that old


I remember him in that. I loved that movie as a kid.
 
2013-03-14 12:46:32 AM
"Yorio accused Bergoglio of effectively handing them over to the death squads by declining to tell the regime that he endorsed their work."

Good enough for me. Put him in jail.

Seriously, this is the dirt you found?
 
2013-03-14 12:46:43 AM

splohn: Let the smearing continue.  Anti-Catholic bigotry is popular again I see.



It's not like Farkers assert that every single priest in a pedophile.
 
2013-03-14 12:47:08 AM
"We always said in an admiring way, that the Jesuits have formed the greatest intelligence service in the world, always have." - CIA Agent/Watergate burglar E. Howard Hunt
 
2013-03-14 12:47:41 AM

splohn: Let the smearing continue.  Anti-Catholic bigotry is popular again I see.


Well, there is no end of good material.

Here, try this:


One day little Johnny, the altar boy, walks in on father Benefacto masturbating.
"What are you doing, father?"
"Masturbating", says the priest. "You'll be doing this soon."
"Why's that father?"
"Because my wrist is killing me!"


 
2013-03-14 12:47:47 AM

splohn: Let the smearing continue.  Anti-Catholic bigotry is popular again I see.


Misuse of the word "bigotry" is popular again I see.
 
2013-03-14 12:47:58 AM

katerbug72: I think he looks like this Ed Wynn.
www.latimes.com



FTFM
/the new pope isn't creepy looking like the last one
 
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