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(New York Magazine)   "I tried penis numbing spray, and it nearly ruined my sex life"   (nymag.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, interpersonal relationship, warning shot  
•       •       •

14907 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Mar 2013 at 5:25 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-13 11:48:46 PM  
6 votes:
Drinking it won't help your gag reflex, Subby.
2013-03-14 06:56:04 AM  
5 votes:
A man goes in to the doctor. The doctor begins to check him for prostate cancer, and asks him "do you want me to numb you up?". The patient says "yes please" and the doctor sticks his face in the guy's ass and goes "num num num."
2013-03-14 05:35:29 AM  
5 votes:
several years of marriage ruined my sex life
2013-03-13 11:56:58 PM  
4 votes:
Misapplied the shiat (10 sprays of lidocaine???) then wrote an article about how the product, not your inability to follow basic directions, nearly ruined your sex life?

I'm surprised you didn't write it to The Consumerist.
2013-03-14 12:28:52 AM  
3 votes:
Wanna prevent premature ejaculation?

Two tips:
1) Masturbate often
2) Bang uglier chicks
3) Don't be 14 years old
2013-03-14 08:33:24 AM  
2 votes:
Snotnose: In my day we used cocaine for that slammed our penis in a door!

/and we liked it.
2013-03-14 08:29:44 AM  
2 votes:
That article was anti-climatic.
2013-03-14 02:14:09 AM  
2 votes:
After four minutes, my wrists began to tingle and feel flimsier than usual.

NTTAWWT
2013-03-14 01:53:05 AM  
2 votes:
In my day we used cocaine for that

/ and we  liked it
2013-03-14 12:33:06 AM  
2 votes:

bdub77: Wanna prevent premature ejaculation?

Two tips:
1) Masturbate often
2) Bang uglier chicks
3) Don't be 14 years old


I find imagining a semi-nude Ernest Borgnine making out with Tommy Lasorda works for me.
2013-03-14 02:59:15 PM  
1 vote:

m00: Nidiot: or some men are rather misguided as to what women want

Some? howabout all.


Hey, some of us actually care what the woman likes.... oh who am I kidding.  Even you women don't know what you like.

(take that as a joke, and not as a sexist thing, it's supposed to be funny)
2013-03-14 08:34:38 AM  
1 vote:

Snotnose: In my day we used cocaine for that

/ and we  liked it


yeah but then your dick ends up with a 5k a day coke habit.

/RIP Richard
2013-03-14 08:13:01 AM  
1 vote:

Krymson Tyde: bdub77: Wanna prevent premature ejaculation?

Two tips:
1) Masturbate often
2) Bang uglier chicks
3) Don't be 14 years old

I find imagining a semi-nude Ernest Borgnine making out with Tommy Lasorda works for me.


I never understand people who say stuff like this. They think of someone ugly, or sports, or math. Doesn't that sort of ruin sex for you? I prefer to enjoy sex. "Holy crap, I'm having sex! This is great!"
2013-03-14 07:27:06 AM  
1 vote:

AbbeySomeone: shut up


yes mistress...
2013-03-14 07:22:23 AM  
1 vote:

log_jammin: After acquiring three vials of Promescent, I went out to drinks with a young woman with whom I'd been on a couple dates but had not yet slept with. I told Carolyn about my goal of numbing my penis and seeing how long I could "punish" a woman. With the eager nervousness of a premature ejaculator, I awaited her response.

yeah, I don't think it was the spray that ruined your sex life pal.


DNRTFA so thanks for the hearty chuckle. He sounds gay.

CeroX: Nidiot: ...users are "single guys who want to go out and be 'The Punisher.'"

Being 'punished' by some guy doing an impression of a pile-driver for hours is not exactly what I want in bed. Either I am odd or some men are rather misguided as to what women want, or maybe both.

There's a major stigma from the media, television, female entertainers, and movies that says sex that doesn't last AT LEAST 30 minutes is considered a "quickie" or "under performed"...
Even TV sex scenes are set up like a montage that makes it look like the lovers were going on for HOURS even though the montage itself is rarely longer than 5 minutes.

Not trying to toot my own horn here, but typically if i last longer than an hour, the wifey starts complaining about pain and discomfort... Now to toot my own horn, i've become so familiar with my wife under the hood, that by the end of an hour we've lost count of her O's anyway...


shut up
2013-03-14 06:54:29 AM  
1 vote:
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
2013-03-14 06:22:52 AM  
1 vote:

Nidiot: ...users are "single guys who want to go out and be 'The Punisher.'"

Being 'punished' by some guy doing an impression of a pile-driver for hours is not exactly what I want in bed. Either I am odd or some men are rather misguided as to what women want, or maybe both.



media.eventhubs.com media.eventhubs.com media.eventhubs.com media.eventhubs.com media.eventhubs.com media.eventhubs.com media.eventhubs.com media.eventhubs.com (360 motion)

Doing anything for you?
2013-03-14 06:18:41 AM  
1 vote:

Nidiot: ...users are "single guys who want to go out and be 'The Punisher.'"

Being 'punished' by some guy doing an impression of a pile-driver for hours is not exactly what I want in bed. Either I am odd or some men are rather misguided as to what women want, or maybe both.


Just wait until you get 360 pile drived. You'll change your tune. 
media.heavy.com
2013-03-14 05:57:02 AM  
1 vote:

maram500: Krymson Tyde: bdub77: Wanna prevent premature ejaculation?

Two tips:
1) Masturbate often
2) Bang uglier chicks
3) Don't be 14 years old

I find imagining a semi-nude Ernest Borgnine making out with Tommy Lasorda works for me.

I'm gay, so what works for me is imaginimg Margaret Thatcher in the nude. It works to keep me going a bit longer, but too much and I go limp.


1. I'm straight, and a nude Margret Thatcher works for me as well.

2. You just admitted that Ernest Borgnine and Tommy Lasorda making out is kinda hot to you.
2013-03-14 05:52:54 AM  
1 vote:
How to last in bed...
25.media.tumblr.com
Be romantic.
2013-03-14 05:28:16 AM  
1 vote:
cdn2.blogs.babble.com
2013-03-14 12:43:59 AM  
1 vote:
... I put on my Campho-Phenique and jimmy hat ...
2013-03-14 12:03:13 AM  
1 vote:
You're doing it wrong
 
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