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(New York Magazine)   "I tried penis numbing spray, and it nearly ruined my sex life"   (nymag.com) divider line 19
    More: Obvious, interpersonal relationship, warning shot  
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13715 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Mar 2013 at 5:25 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-14 05:45:31 AM  
2 votes:
eh, where's the part where it ruined his sex life?

He tried it masturbating, and it was boring. Then he had sex with a woman and it wasn't that great. The end.

I thought he was going to end up in the hospital with a chronically numb dick the way he made it sound.

This is just like the Telsa article. I expect a strong rebuttal from the manufacturer taking him to task for not fully charging.
2013-03-14 05:36:37 AM  
2 votes:
If you or a man you know is a quick draw and doesn't want to be, Promescent will probably help, but finding the correct dosage - something I never determined - is crucial.

The author uses the minimum 3 spritzes a few times and the maximum 10 spritzes a couple times and complains he can't figure out the correct number of times to spritz his junk. If only there were a bunch of numbers between 3 and 10 that he could gradually work through to figure out the right number...
2013-03-14 05:35:29 AM  
2 votes:
several years of marriage ruined my sex life
2013-03-14 12:28:52 AM  
2 votes:
Wanna prevent premature ejaculation?

Two tips:
1) Masturbate often
2) Bang uglier chicks
3) Don't be 14 years old
2013-03-13 11:56:58 PM  
2 votes:
Misapplied the shiat (10 sprays of lidocaine???) then wrote an article about how the product, not your inability to follow basic directions, nearly ruined your sex life?

I'm surprised you didn't write it to The Consumerist.
2013-03-14 04:27:16 PM  
1 votes:
Who told you to put the balm on?
24.media.tumblr.com
2013-03-14 08:29:44 AM  
1 votes:
That article was anti-climatic.
2013-03-14 08:19:13 AM  
1 votes:

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: After reading TFA, it's obvious what nearly ruined his sex life: Being himself. What a tool.


I wish I was ten years younger, and single. The competition today is nowhere near what it was when I was younger. And the women are three times as slutty.

Thank you internet.
2013-03-14 08:17:49 AM  
1 votes:

Nidiot: ...users are "single guys who want to go out and be 'The Punisher.'"

Being 'punished' by some guy doing an impression of a pile-driver for hours is not exactly what I want in bed. Either I am odd or some men are rather misguided as to what women want, or maybe both.


But, but, but... porn said that's what you're supposed to do!

Next you'll be telling me that not all women might appreciate a facial.
2013-03-14 07:32:31 AM  
1 votes:
After reading TFA, it's obvious what nearly ruined his sex life: Being himself. What a tool.
2013-03-14 07:18:29 AM  
1 votes:

Nidiot: ...users are "single guys who want to go out and be 'The Punisher.'"

Being 'punished' by some guy doing an impression of a pile-driver for hours is not exactly what I want in bed. Either I am odd or some men single young men who watch too much porn are rather misguided as to what women want, or maybe both.


FTFY

Once you're married, you figure out pretty quick that the only technique you need to remember is "gentle".

I swear to gawd, half the porn out there looks like rape scenes. Those women are in obvious pain from being slammed into.
2013-03-14 06:54:29 AM  
1 votes:
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
2013-03-14 06:27:11 AM  
1 votes:

Nidiot: ...users are "single guys who want to go out and be 'The Punisher.'"

Being 'punished' by some guy doing an impression of a pile-driver for hours is not exactly what I want in bed. Either I am odd or some men are rather misguided as to what women want, or maybe both.


There's a major stigma from the media, television, female entertainers, and movies that says sex that doesn't last AT LEAST 30 minutes is considered a "quickie" or "under performed"...
Even TV sex scenes are set up like a montage that makes it look like the lovers were going on for HOURS even though the montage itself is rarely longer than 5 minutes.

Not trying to toot my own horn here, but typically if i last longer than an hour, the wifey starts complaining about pain and discomfort... Now to toot my own horn, i've become so familiar with my wife under the hood, that by the end of an hour we've lost count of her O's anyway...
2013-03-14 06:22:52 AM  
1 votes:

Nidiot: ...users are "single guys who want to go out and be 'The Punisher.'"

Being 'punished' by some guy doing an impression of a pile-driver for hours is not exactly what I want in bed. Either I am odd or some men are rather misguided as to what women want, or maybe both.



media.eventhubs.com media.eventhubs.com media.eventhubs.com media.eventhubs.com media.eventhubs.com media.eventhubs.com media.eventhubs.com media.eventhubs.com (360 motion)

Doing anything for you?
2013-03-14 05:57:02 AM  
1 votes:

maram500: Krymson Tyde: bdub77: Wanna prevent premature ejaculation?

Two tips:
1) Masturbate often
2) Bang uglier chicks
3) Don't be 14 years old

I find imagining a semi-nude Ernest Borgnine making out with Tommy Lasorda works for me.

I'm gay, so what works for me is imaginimg Margaret Thatcher in the nude. It works to keep me going a bit longer, but too much and I go limp.


1. I'm straight, and a nude Margret Thatcher works for me as well.

2. You just admitted that Ernest Borgnine and Tommy Lasorda making out is kinda hot to you.
2013-03-14 05:52:54 AM  
1 votes:
How to last in bed...
25.media.tumblr.com
Be romantic.
2013-03-14 04:04:29 AM  
1 votes:
Goddamit, if you're gonna bore me with a shaggy-dog tale like that, at least buy me a beer.
2013-03-14 01:53:05 AM  
1 votes:
In my day we used cocaine for that

/ and we  liked it
2013-03-14 01:35:15 AM  
1 votes:
After acquiring three vials of Promescent, I went out to drinks with a young woman with whom I'd been on a couple dates but had not yet slept with. I told Carolyn about my goal of numbing my penis and seeing how long I could "punish" a woman. With the eager nervousness of a premature ejaculator, I awaited her response.

yeah, I don't think it was the spray that ruined your sex life pal.
 
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