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(NYPost)   New York City presents: the douchetender. Coming soon to a bar near you   (nypost.com) divider line 305
    More: Asinine, New York City, Carroll Gardens, Bombay Sapphire  
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17522 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Mar 2013 at 1:09 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-14 10:08:49 AM

GuyCaballero: Yogimus: GuyCaballero: "vodka soda" is code for "get me drunk fast, here's my money." Every bartender knows it, loves making them because they're easy, and knows you'll be back soon.

While it's perfectly reasonable to hate the people they talk about in this article, they're a rare breed. Most barkeeps love a fast order and a good tip. Just keep it rolling and there's no problem.

The reporter is a farking weak willed derp, and the bartender is a prissy moron who forgets his role.

I think the whole piece is yellow journalism bullshiat designed to rile up people who live in small towns. People who know better understand bartenders are way too busy to worry about shiat like this.


Yep, just another way to make cities look like scary places full of uppity d-bags.

My sister has been to Apoteke. I haven't yet had the chance but I've been to similar places. She said they were very polite, but eager to make the kind of drinks the place is famous for. I could see someone at a place like that (or Middlebranch, Milk and Honey, or any other number of places where bartenders are called "mixologists") getting offended when someone orders something just to get drunk. Sort of like going to a nice steak house and ordering chicken wings; however, it shouldn't matter. A customer is a customer and their money should always be good unless they're being unreasonable. If they don't want to experience the finest of what the bartender can make, it's their loss.
 
2013-03-14 10:35:08 AM

cptjeff: Boy do I have a place for you. If you're ever in DC...


Nice! It's good to see someone in the thread who understands what mixology is.

I was involved with restaurants that took this approach to food and drink for quite a long time, and had to work out lots of ways to curb the frustration people would experience when they were forced to try something new because I just didn't have the ingredients they were expecting.  Most of the time people were willing to come along for the ride, and they usually left knowing a lot more about spirits (or bitters, or vegetables, or cured meat, or whatever) then they did when they came in.  But there were always a few jackasses that just couldn't accept the idea of a bar refusing to cater to the lowest common denominator.  ("You don't have Stoli OR Goose?... OR pineapple juice??  This place sucks!")

I actually know a lot of the best in the business in your city and the surrounding area.  Do you ever get up to Baltimore?  I have some friends up there who make pretty slammin' cocktails.  A lot of professional and semi-professional brewers and distillers.  One of them runs a semi-secret pop-up speakeasy that specializes in throwback cocktails.  We'll be neighbors when I get back from SE Asia next month.  If you ever want to check it out and can't find it on your own, shoot me an email and I'll hook you up.

Also, my wife just opened a pretty amazing ramen bar in DC's Chinatown.  Go stuff your face with some noodles if you get the chance. ; )
 
2013-03-14 10:52:01 AM

Girion47: Unless the bar specializes in Mojitos, you're being an asshole to order one, other people want to drink too, quit monopolizing the bartender's time.


Same with Caiprinhas or an Old Fashioned done right. You almost need under-mixologist staff to deal with the tedium of those.

I did drink a bottle of single malt with 7up once, it tasted like hospital disinfectant (strangely pleasant) and I'm not adverse to the odd Vodka Red Bull, Jaeger Bomb or whatever, but a well made dry Martini (slightly dirty) is the way forward for the weekend. Like a surgical alcoholic knife it lobotomises any unpleasantness that has occurred during the week leaving a fresh, clean, blank canvass of a weekend ahead.

My local dive bar did one of the greatest dirty Martinis ever, it was about half gin, half olive juice, shaken over ice and served in a tumbler. Dirty as hell.
 
2013-03-14 11:02:49 AM

Wakosane: That's why I like Detroit.  They'll serve you anything and be happy about it.


I FREAKING LOVE DETROIT.

Went there for the first time last November for Thanksgiving (yes, tailgated at Eastern Market, did the game, actually wound up on the news).  Detroit is amazing, the bars are great, all the guys are hot and are willing to buy Dom at places like O'Tooles for Southern girls just off the plane.

/no, i didn't put out
//my Detroit-native friend saved me
///slashies
 
2013-03-14 11:10:55 AM
News flash:   What pisses these bartenders off and makes them get touchy isn't that you're ordering cocktails they don't approve of.  It's that you only came to their establishment in the first place because you heard it was hip and trendy, and you order shows a complete ignorance of what kind of place you're in, and the degree of time, effort and consideration that went into the execution of their concept.  They're justified in feeling a little insulted IMO.

victrin: I live in NYC and absolutely HATE this!


victrin: We went across the street and found a place more than happy to make several hundred dollars on our drink orders.


Then you did exactly the right thing.  For next time, I would maybe recommend taking the time to look into  whya place is so swanky and hip before you decide to go there.

mccallcl: They don't have the ingredients on purpose.


My guess is, it was January and local mint was out of season.

chickstan: A customer is a customer and their money should always be good unless they're being unreasonable.


Screw that.  If you take pride in what you do, and want to refuse to compromise your integrity for the sake of someone's whim, I think that's just fine.  If a chef decides he's only going to offer cheddar on his burger, and you want bleu cheese and mushrooms, you eat what he cooks or you take your money and go someplace else.
 
2013-03-14 11:13:49 AM

Phil Moskowitz: The NY Post is the daily mail of the US. I doubt any of this is actually happening. So many boring shiatty links to drive me off to reddit.


Wow. I very rarely remember Fark Handles(tm) but you were the same dip-shiat I responded to last night for some idiotic comment you posted.

And less than 24 hours later here you are again.

You 'doubt any of this actually' happened?
Why?
Because you don't like the newspaper?

And now you 'threaten' to got to Reddit because Fark has boring links?
Who's being a snob now?
Go to Redditt you azzhat. You won't be missed here.
 
2013-03-14 11:37:46 AM

jtown: "In the end, we drank chilled gin, which we didn't want," she continues. "I was insulted."

Why???  Why the fark would you buy anything from someone who just insulted you?  You're in farking New farking York farking City for farking fark's sake!  There are other bars!  Go to another bar where they don't treat you like shiat.


This.  I'm OK with a place simply telling me "No, we don't have that", but if they're going to have an attitude about it, then the only thing they're getting from me is a "fark you, I'm off to a bar not run by/staffed with assholes".
 
2013-03-14 11:39:18 AM

Z-clipped: It's that you only came to their establishment in the first place because you heard it was hip and trendy


Why would you assume that? I wander in to places I've never heard of all the time when I'm in the city, and I'm not even a tourist.
 
2013-03-14 11:53:27 AM

marcre3363: My biggest Manhattan bar Faux Paux was when I was stuck near the door of a dive bar and I decided to start carding people walking in. I wasn't a dick about it, I just looked at their ID's, then welcomed them in.

The bartender saw me doing it and freaked out, threatening to call the Police. I told him to go ahead.

Sure, I shouldn't have been doing it. But I didn't turn anyone away. Hey, free bouncer.


You should have started charging a cover, as well...
 
2013-03-14 11:53:27 AM
My hand to God .... I thought the lede read ...  coming to a bank near you
 
2013-03-14 11:54:20 AM

HotWingConspiracy: Z-clipped: It's that you only came to their establishment in the first place because you heard it was hip and trendy

Why would you assume that? I wander in to places I've never heard of all the time when I'm in the city, and I'm not even a tourist.


20 years of experience.  It's certainly not everybody, but when a place gets hyped as hip or exclusive, approximately 20%* of the clientele immediately turns into "people who just like to be seen at trendy places".  It's worse with liquor than with food, of course.  Cocktail bars have their work cut out for them with the state of alcohol culture in this country.

* this number is pulled from a peer-reviewed study conducted at the University of My Butt
 
2013-03-14 11:58:18 AM

cptjeff: . But going into a craft cocktail bar and ordering a vodka tonic is like going into Chez Paul in Jorts and trying to order pop tarts. Don't.


I read this great interview with the head chef of Maxim's - back before it was turned into a "brand" and got kicked out of Michelin's, so I'm dating myself, here. He said one of the hardest parts of the job was to gracefully accept gushing compliments for a meal consisting of a steak and a salad. But he also said that "We get perhaps one customer like that in a week. And he shall be treated as graciously as anyone else."

The customer might be with friends who like their fancy cocktails. The customer might even be in the wrong place. The bartender can of course make a suggestion, even, but if the customer wants a drink and the bartender can make it, he should. Possibly seething with frustration as his tears of misery mingle with his artisanal liqueurs, but he chose to be in the hospitality business.
 
2013-03-14 12:03:25 PM
They should hire some of those douchebag waiters who like to write articles listing everything their paying customers are doing 'wrong'.
 
2013-03-14 12:19:08 PM
"There are two kinds of men in this world, those who drink and those who pour."
 
2013-03-14 12:26:21 PM
Vodak is for people that don't like the taste of liquor. If you don't like it, stay home, don't go to a bar that goes out of its way to make handcrafted mixes and beverages.

/Got what they deserved
//Vodka "martini" is a joke, and everyone has the right to look down on you if you order one
 
2013-03-14 12:27:12 PM

Erik_Emune: The customer might be with friends who like their fancy cocktails. The customer might even be in the wrong place. The bartender can of course make a suggestion, even, but if the customer wants a drink and the bartender can make it, he should. Possibly seething with frustration as his tears of misery mingle with his artisanal liqueurs, but he chose to be in the hospitality business.


This argument isn't without merit, but there's another side to the matter.  Most of the time in bars like the ones in TFA, the refusal to make a particular drink is a matter of ingredients, and more generally, of expectations.  If you as a guest order a drink for which I don't have one or more of the ingredients I know you're expecting, sometimes it's better to just say "no" and force you to reset your expectations, than to attempt to approximate what your asking for and fail to meet them.

A specialty cocktail bar would much rather you tell your friends "It was so annoying- they totally refused to make me a Cosmopolitan because they didn't have cranberry. WTF? On the other hand, I tried a Sazerac and it was really amazing..." than "There were a lot of fancy drinks on the menu and the bartenders made a big deal about their cocktails, but they couldn't even make me a Cosmo that tasted right!".
 
2013-03-14 12:33:11 PM
www.imfdb.org
AUGUSTUS MCCRAE: Well, it ain't much of a crime whackin' a surely bartender.
 
2013-03-14 12:35:33 PM

doglover: A martini, for example, is NOT a fishbowl full of cold vodak.


If you're a martini man, you should get yourself a bottle of this, and go to town.  Best vermouth in the farking world, especially the Blanc.
 
2013-03-14 12:35:36 PM

MythDragon: Soupysales: OFFENDING DRINK: The Long Island iced tea is "pure gluttony," says Ward. Ordering one "is admitting that you want as much booze as possible, without a conception of what it is."

APPROVED DRINK: "If you want to get bombed right away, order a zombie," he says. "It's boozier than a Long Island iced tea and really delicious."

I don't get why one is acceptable and the other isn't. If this guy actually exists, I hope his urethra gets infested with spiders.

This. This douchebag looks down on you for getting a drink with a load of alcohol in it, and then suggests a drink with *more* alchohol?? Plus, done correctly, Long Islands are farking yummy. (Better than birds and snow coffee too!). Now done by a crappy mixer, Long Islands taste like a bull's testicle sweat.

Look, if I care about the subtle nuance between dry, extra dry, slightly dry, and off-dry obscure brand gin, then fine, you can make me a designer drink in a Fendi glass whilst we tug on each other's penises (but in an ironic way). But if I want rum, ammaretto, lemon peel, cream, cherry juice, and a banana served to me in an aquarium, what the fark do you care as long as I pay you?

My favorite drinks (in no particular order)
Long Island
White Russian
Coke with Morgan's spiced rum (not bacardi, thank you)
Buttery Nipple
chilled Barenjager Honey Liquer  (if you have not tried this, and like honey, pick this up.)

CSB:
Having dinner one night at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse at the bar and saw they had a bottle of Louis XIII Remy Martin cognac. They sell it for about $100-something a shot. I asked the bartender if I got a shot of that, would he mix it into some Coke for me. He just looks at me deadpan for a bit and says "I would slap the absolute shiat out of you if you tried to do that"


Honey Liqueur is the reason why my husband and I are together. Both of us had never had it before and we ended up drinking wayyy too much and made out.

Next time try a "Hot and Spicy": one half Spicy Cinnamon Whiskey (Fireball or any will do) and the other half Honey Liqueur. Yummy.
 
2013-03-14 12:36:21 PM

Bender The Offender: What do you have against the Violent Femmes?


Nothing at all; they are vanguards of sarcastic pop rock, right up there in my book with Elvis Costello and no doubt led to Ben Folds Five.  There is nothing inherently wrong with "Blister in the Sun."

However, every band plays "Blister in the Sun" because it takes five minutes of rehearsal before it is on the set list, so there isn't much to it.  It is requested, at least in my oh-god-I-can't-believe-it's-been 15 years of experience exclusively by too-drunk chicks that have crossed the threshold from "hey, fun" to "oh, she's going to fall soon" drunk.  The same can be said for "Laid" by James.  The male version of this request is "Sweet Home Alabama."  I've never heard any band do a decent rendition of that song, but I've heard every one try.

Also, "Kiss Off" is my Femmes song of choice, although if I still played in a band with a rhythm section we'd do "Add it Up."
 
2013-03-14 12:36:34 PM
Oops, that's "surly."  Stop calling me surely.
 
2013-03-14 12:38:39 PM
Also, if you drink alcohol to get drunk or a buzz, then again...do it at home. Need to drown your sorrows and relax from a stressful day, but do it with Nati Light...do it at Chili's or any other pseudo-sports bar type place. Leave the craft bars/pubs to people who enjoy and respect alcohol. You'll save money, and be one less douchenozzle in my way at the bar.

/Realize what type of place you patron
//Not every place that has a liquor license is tailored to your "style" or lack-thereof
 
2013-03-14 12:45:11 PM
Z-clipped:

chickstan: A customer is a customer and their money should always be good unless they're being unreasonable.

Screw that.  If you take pride in what you do, and want to refuse to compromise your integrity for the sake of someone's whim, I think that's just fine.  If a chef decides he's only going to offer cheddar on his burger, and you want bleu cheese and mushrooms, you eat what he cooks or you take your money and go someplace else.


Which is why I mentioned "unreasonable." If I were to go to one of those places, I'm the kind of person that would order from the menu, or ask the bartender for their recommendation. After a while of having a good time and good drinks, I might order a gin and tonic if my friends wanted to linger (I'm not rolling in the dough and can't spend $14 per drink all night.) Would that be incredibly unreasonable? Maybe if they didn't have gin, or tonic...yeah. Or should I just sit there and wait because I don't want to offend the bartender, or just leave and go home? I definitely see where you're coming from and think it's obnoxious to show up to a place like that without realizing it's not some random bro bar, but it also comes off as a bit snooty. Maybe that's just my trashy Midwestern upbringing ;) My sister and best friend are bartenders in the city and someone ordering a non-specialty cocktail is the least of their worries, though they've never been labeled as mixologists.
 
2013-03-14 12:46:44 PM

Johnsnownw: Need to drown your sorrows and relax from a stressful day, but do it with Nati Light...do it at Chili's or any other pseudo-sports bar type place.


That sounds like a terrible place to relax.
 
2013-03-14 12:48:22 PM
Z-clipped:Most of the time in bars like the ones in TFA, the refusal to make a particular drink is a matter of ingredients, and more generally, of expectations.  If you as a guest order a drink for which I don't have one or more of the ingredients I know you're expecting, sometimes it's better to just say "no" and force you to reset your expectations, than to attempt to approximate what your asking for and fail to meet them.

Oh, no argument there. If you don't have an ingredient, well - then you don't have it. It's now on the customer to deal with that, preferably by going with something that you do have, and I am sure some will do so with less than perfect grace. That's when it becomes OK to suggest that they might be better served by going somewhere else.
 
2013-03-14 12:49:38 PM
As much as I like a good gin martini sometimes I want a got damned vodka soda.  Yes, it isn't a flavor explosion, that's just the farking point.  It is refreshing, relatively low calorie, and basically flavor neutral. One doesn't always want everything to taste of juniper.

Just pour the farking drink.
 
2013-03-14 12:51:16 PM
"In the end, we drank chilled gin, which we didn't want," she continues. "I was insulted."

Stopped reading here.  She should have packed up her entourage and picked a better bar instead of giving the douche her money anyway.
 
2013-03-14 12:53:24 PM

magneticmushroom: Shadow Blasko: [questionablecontent.net image 600x1418]

/Basically anyone could post about 500 of QC's 2400 comics in this thread..

Even Jeph Jacques says he'd have a hard time being friends with Faye. I wouldn't want her serving me coffee either. Raven, please.


I'd let Faye serve me coffee, but only if she used her time-travelling dinosaur invention to brew it.
 
2013-03-14 12:54:41 PM

Johnsnownw: Also, if you drink alcohol to get drunk or a buzz, then again...do it at home. Need to drown your sorrows and relax from a stressful day, but do it with Nati Light...do it at Chili's or any other pseudo-sports bar type place. Leave the craft bars/pubs to people who enjoy and respect alcohol. You'll save money, and be one less douchenozzle in my way at the bar.

/Realize what type of place you patron
//Not every place that has a liquor license is tailored to your "style" or lack-thereof


Jeez what is it with you wise crackers.  People frickin travel.  Usually for business.  Travelers tend to end up in BIG CITIES.  We don't have time to farking research every frickin joint in town when we just want a drink after the business day ends.
 
2013-03-14 12:54:54 PM
www.nypost.com

Walk in to this guy's bar and with a straight face say "I'd like a Sterno '85 with a NyQuil chaser, my good man."

/hilarity will ensue
 
2013-03-14 12:56:08 PM

brap: As much as I like a good gin martini sometimes I want a got damned vodka soda.  Yes, it isn't a flavor explosion, that's just the farking point.  It is refreshing, relatively low calorie, and basically flavor neutral. One doesn't always want everything to taste of juniper.

Just pour the farking drink.


Same here, as much as I love drinking and experimenting with different concoctions, it expands my waistline faster than anything else, so I really had to curb my "hobby".

If I have multiple drinking social events in a week, I'll order one regular drink and sip vodka sodas the rest of the night to keep the calorie count down.

/in a tall glass with lemon please
 
2013-03-14 01:15:19 PM

Z-clipped: Also, my wife just opened a pretty amazing ramen bar in DC's Chinatown. Go stuff your face with some noodles if you get the chance. ; )


O hai, thanks for posting that ramen link! Time to metro over there this weekend; there can never, never be enough ramen.
 
2013-03-14 01:25:59 PM

Ebbelwoi: Johnsnownw: Also, if you drink alcohol to get drunk or a buzz, then again...do it at home. Need to drown your sorrows and relax from a stressful day, but do it with Nati Light...do it at Chili's or any other pseudo-sports bar type place. Leave the craft bars/pubs to people who enjoy and respect alcohol. You'll save money, and be one less douchenozzle in my way at the bar.

/Realize what type of place you patron
//Not every place that has a liquor license is tailored to your "style" or lack-thereof

Jeez what is it with you wise crackers.  People frickin travel.  Usually for business.  Travelers tend to end up in BIG CITIES.  We don't have time to farking research every frickin joint in town when we just want a drink after the business day ends.


It's called Yelp, they have a mobile app, your lack of preparation should not be someone else's problem.
 
2013-03-14 01:30:15 PM
So, negging works?
 
2013-03-14 01:49:55 PM

alienated: doglover: alienated: vodka and rc cola

But that's a highball. Soda has no flavor. Vodka has no flavor. A vodka soda would be flavorless fizz.

Not all vodka lacks flavour. I brought a bottle from Poland to a fark party that has a single stalk of bison grass. It is... unique. Some folks like it, some did not.
And rc cola has a distinct taste . Im not from the south but I have always preferred it, aside from mexican coke, when I choose to drink a cola. Next you will be calling me a n00b for liking grey goose and Hawaiian Punch ...



Zubrovka is awesome stuff... from time to time.  Definitely different and mixes quite interestingly with apple type beverages (juice or cider) Getting it for ~$12/Liter down here in the Caribbean is pretty nice too
 
2013-03-14 01:58:29 PM

chickstan: Would that be incredibly unreasonable?


Of course not.  And I doubt you'd get any flak from a bartender if you did, especially if you'd already bought something he recommended for you.  However, I'd bet money that if you were served by the guys I know, you'd be so blown away by the drinks they poured you that you'd never get around to asking for that G&T.  : )

The stories you hear like the ones in the article are never as one-sided as they sound.  Bartenders who are jerks to people for no reason don't last long in the business.  (Well... actually they end up tending bar at nightclubs usually.)

These mixologist guys usually only get spiky when people are hopelessly ignorant and oblivious to where they are.  Like when one of a gaggle of uptown fashion harpies pauses her breathless prattle just long enough to toss an order out for a drink that contains three ingredients that the bar doesn't carry, so the poor guy has to interrupt her to explain why he can't do it.   It gets a little tiring for him to have to rehash the litany of common ingredients they don't have over and over, and there's unfortunately no easy way to tell someone, "Listen, I don't think you understand what we do here.  Why don't you use your eyes for a second and notice that the bottles behind the bar are all either obscure artisan whisky and gin, or full of liqueurs that I spent the last 6 weeks making myself? Then, take a look at the cocktail menu and see if anything looks interesting to you." without sounding a little snooty.

These kinds of places just aren't for people who want to drink and not think about what they're drinking.  And when you spend 6 hours figuring out the exact number of drops of Old Tyme bitters that go into a Manhattan made with a particular brand of rye to make it balance perfectly, you tend not to want that kind of person taking up a seat at your bar.
 
2013-03-14 02:05:46 PM

Ebbelwoi: We don't have time to farking research every frickin joint in town when we just want a drink after the business day ends.


Then bartenders don't have the time to be patient and understanding with every tourist that doesn't know how to work a smartphone.

If you walk into some place, look around. Get your bearings. Figure out what is expected of you, and act accordingly. If you're confused about what is going on, ask someone who works there. "Hi, it's my first time here, I like ______, is there anything you'd recommend?"

It puts you in a submissive posture, which people don't like, but you're on their property as a guest and that's how you should act. You are not the bartender's boss because you have $20. Lots of people have $20. The person you're talking to could be the best in your city at ______. Let him or her show you. If you want to boss someone around, open your own bar. The bar service relationship is collaborative, not competitive.

What's more, if you figure this out, you'll have success no matter which bar you end up in, and your night won't be dependent on whether your bartender can stomach you.
 
2013-03-14 02:13:06 PM

Inchoate: Z-clipped: Also, my wife just opened a pretty amazing ramen bar in DC's Chinatown. Go stuff your face with some noodles if you get the chance. ; )

O hai, thanks for posting that ramen link! Time to metro over there this weekend; there can never, never be enough ramen.


You're absolutely welcome!  Have a great time.
 
2013-03-14 02:36:45 PM

abhorrent1: Years ago, when mixology was a cause, it was edgy.

No. Being a bar tender has never been edgy. It's a job for drunks, "artists", and other people who don't want real jobs.


Actually, it used to be a great way to make $60,000+ working about 30 hours a week, while getting laid as often as you choose.  I'm pretty sure that the dumbasses in the articles are making more money than I did 20 years ago.

My first thought in the article, was why didn't she just ask for a farking manager?   I love handcrafted cocktails, but sometimes just want a black Russian, or a really good Manhattan, screw your cocktail list and artisan BS.  Currently working as a chef as I lost my ability to put on the plastic smile, I still have absolutely no problems with substitutions and requests.  My co-workers often hate my customer-centric attitude.  Hey - who do you think is paying the bills and covering payroll?  The customer.
 
2013-03-14 02:37:47 PM

offmymeds: [www.nypost.com image 299x300]

Walk in to this guy's bar and with a straight face say "I'd like a Sterno '85 with a NyQuil chaser, my good man."

/hilarity will ensue


Look, baby still has his training wheels on!  How artisanal!

(no self respecting bartender uses a jigger unless absolutely required to)
 
2013-03-14 03:07:34 PM

Girion47: Ebbelwoi: Johnsnownw: Also, if you drink alcohol to get drunk or a buzz, then again...do it at home. Need to drown your sorrows and relax from a stressful day, but do it with Nati Light...do it at Chili's or any other pseudo-sports bar type place. Leave the craft bars/pubs to people who enjoy and respect alcohol. You'll save money, and be one less douchenozzle in my way at the bar.

/Realize what type of place you patron
//Not every place that has a liquor license is tailored to your "style" or lack-thereof

Jeez what is it with you wise crackers.  People frickin travel.  Usually for business.  Travelers tend to end up in BIG CITIES.  We don't have time to farking research every frickin joint in town when we just want a drink after the business day ends.

It's called Yelp, they have a mobile app, your lack of preparation should not be someone else's problem.


The problem with Yelp however, is that it is filled with a bunch of smarmy douches who will more often write on there to complain about something than praise it. All the while trying to sound like they are writing for the new york times and they are the wittiest motherfarkers in the universe.
 
2013-03-14 03:10:33 PM
Listen up, everyone that works in a bar, restaurant, service of the public in any way.  YOU farkING WORK FOR ME.  I pay you to bring me what I ask for.  If you aren't really happy with that station in life, I don't farking care.
 
2013-03-14 03:13:10 PM

Z-clipped: cptjeff: Boy do I have a place for you. If you're ever in DC...

Nice! It's good to see someone in the thread who understands what mixology is.

I was involved with restaurants that took this approach to food and drink for quite a long time, and had to work out lots of ways to curb the frustration people would experience when they were forced to try something new because I just didn't have the ingredients they were expecting.  Most of the time people were willing to come along for the ride, and they usually left knowing a lot more about spirits (or bitters, or vegetables, or cured meat, or whatever) then they did when they came in.  But there were always a few jackasses that just couldn't accept the idea of a bar refusing to cater to the lowest common denominator.  ("You don't have Stoli OR Goose?... OR pineapple juice??  This place sucks!")

I actually know a lot of the best in the business in your city and the surrounding area.  Do you ever get up to Baltimore?  I have some friends up there who make pretty slammin' cocktails.  A lot of professional and semi-professional brewers and distillers.  One of them runs a semi-secret pop-up speakeasy that specializes in throwback cocktails.  We'll be neighbors when I get back from SE Asia next month.  If you ever want to check it out and can't find it on your own, shoot me an email and I'll hook you up.

Also, my wife just opened a pretty amazing ramen bar in DC's Chinatown.  Go stuff your face with some noodles if you get the chance. ; )


I'm going to be up the road in DC for the Craft Brewers Conference next week, ill try to hit that Ramen joint.

Of course, i live just down the road in Richmond, so i really don't need an excuse for a day trip. Hopefully the beer I make will be available in DC proper this year. Right now we're in northern Va, and Baltimore and Baltimore county
 
2013-03-14 03:17:37 PM

Girion47: Ebbelwoi: Johnsnownw: Also, if you drink alcohol to get drunk or a buzz, then again...do it at home. Need to drown your sorrows and relax from a stressful day, but do it with Nati Light...do it at Chili's or any other pseudo-sports bar type place. Leave the craft bars/pubs to people who enjoy and respect alcohol. You'll save money, and be one less douchenozzle in my way at the bar.

/Realize what type of place you patron
//Not every place that has a liquor license is tailored to your "style" or lack-thereof

Jeez what is it with you wise crackers.  People frickin travel.  Usually for business.  Travelers tend to end up in BIG CITIES.  We don't have time to farking research every frickin joint in town when we just want a drink after the business day ends.

It's called Yelp, they have a mobile app, your lack of preparation should not be someone else's problem.


Not everyone wants advice from people they would never ever ask for advice.
 
2013-03-14 03:28:35 PM

IRQ12: offmymeds: [www.nypost.com image 299x300]

Walk in to this guy's bar and with a straight face say "I'd like a Sterno '85 with a NyQuil chaser, my good man."

/hilarity will ensue

Look, baby still has his training wheels on!  How artisanal!

(no self respecting bartender uses a jigger unless absolutely required to)


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-14 03:37:40 PM
Hey d-bag,

Pour me a farking vodka club in a pint glass, put a twist of lime in it, and give it to me. Save your douche-attitude, and you might get 30% if you're quick enough.
 
2013-03-14 03:38:26 PM
A bartenders needs to keep his or her opinions on the drink that are ordered to themselves. make the drink and move on to the next order.

if you tell me my choice of drink sucks guess who isn't going to get tipped.
 
2013-03-14 04:03:28 PM
The only time I ever had a bartender give me crap about a drink is when I knew the bartender and we kept ordering the drink he hated to make the most (nuts & berries shooters) and we just wanted to fark with him cause hey thats what friends do.
 
2013-03-14 04:04:35 PM

Kahabut: Listen up, everyone that works in a bar, restaurant, service of the public in any way.  YOU farkING WORK FOR ME.  I pay you to bring me what I ask for.  If you aren't really happy with that station in life, I don't farking care.

 They work for the owner of the establishment and in some cases, design the menus, source ingredients, design the interior and do hiring and firing. If making you happy subverts what the establishment is designed to do, it may be more expensive than just letting you leave pissed off. If the employee is extremely talented, it may be more expensive to have him put up with your attitude than just throw you out on your ear.
Also, you shouldn't think of other people this way, it shows in your demeanor and they can tell. No sense in degrading another person, you're not royalty, you still have to respect others and their opinions even if you have managed to accumulate enough money to visit a restaurant.
 
2013-03-14 04:14:10 PM

IRQ12: offmymeds: [www.nypost.com image 299x300]

Walk in to this guy's bar and with a straight face say "I'd like a Sterno '85 with a NyQuil chaser, my good man."

/hilarity will ensue

Look, baby still has his training wheels on!  How artisanal!

(no self respecting bartender uses a jigger unless absolutely required to)


Lets see what Lewis Black has to say about these "artisanal" people, such as this esteemed bartender.

www.takepart.com
"Oh what a surprise, a Trust Fund Hipster talking out of his arse!!!"
 
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