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(NBC News) NewsFlash Cardinals hire new manager   ( worldnews.nbcnews.com) divider line
    More: NewsFlash, Sistine Chapel, white smoke, rises, Castel Gandolfo, basilica, papal elections, NBC News  
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26526 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2013 at 2:13 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»


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Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-03-13 02:17:25 PM  
32 votes:
It'd be awesome if no one emerged all day and night, but smoke kept billowing out.  Finally, tomorrow morning, they knock down the door and find nothing but a bunch of charred remains and the stench of burnt flesh.  Then that seagull flies in and starts turbo-shiatting all over everything.  I see in rock and roll.
2013-03-13 02:20:04 PM  
23 votes:
4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:34:39 PM  
18 votes:

Endive Wombat: what do they use to make the smoke white?

.


Protestants
2013-03-13 02:24:54 PM  
17 votes:
imageshack.usView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:19:39 PM  
15 votes:
msnbcmedia.msn.comView Full Size


BREAKING NEWS: MARIJUANA LEGALIZED IN VATICAN CITY

/meh
2013-03-13 03:18:35 PM  
13 votes:
Thank god they got away from that Hitler youth guy, and picked someone from Argentina.

Wait a minute...
2013-03-13 02:51:26 PM  
11 votes:
A SECOND POPE HAS HIT THE SOUTH VATICAN!
2013-03-13 02:27:21 PM  
11 votes:
s13.postimage.orgView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:17:28 PM  
11 votes:
does romney have his concession speech ready?
2013-03-13 02:32:44 PM  
10 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:33:52 PM  
9 votes:
BAH GAWD KING THAT'S THE POPE'S MUSIC
2013-03-13 03:32:32 PM  
8 votes:

elchip: Wasn't Looking at his Neck: Uh, isn't Jorge a version of Peter?....

No, that's "Pedro."  Jorge is George.


So we've had John Paul, Jorge and Ratzingo?
2013-03-13 03:21:25 PM  
8 votes:
Another job taken by a Latino!

Back to the pile................
2013-03-13 02:45:03 PM  
8 votes:

TheOther: Millions watching a stovepipe online now have nothing to do.


Well, I am kind of a big deal.
2013-03-13 02:36:12 PM  
8 votes:
picshag.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:34:54 PM  
8 votes:
Once again, Ron Paul supporters are going home empty-handed.
2013-03-13 02:23:52 PM  
8 votes:
Please tell me it's Cardinal Glick!
thefilmpilgrim.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:18:32 PM  
8 votes:
I love that new pope smell.
2013-03-13 02:16:32 PM  
8 votes:

Summoner101: This headline is not infantile enough for the depths Fark sinks to.

/C'mon, "Ok, Pope is coming out."
//Comedy gold, Jerry!


I was late.  New Pope selected.  Classic Pope still better tasting.
2013-03-13 02:16:01 PM  
8 votes:
LET'S GET READY TO HUMBLE, CATHOLICS!
2013-03-13 06:34:29 PM  
7 votes:
dumpaday.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:59:54 PM  
7 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size


Let the molestations begin!
2013-03-13 02:20:41 PM  
7 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:19:46 PM  
7 votes:
My money's on the old white guy.
2013-03-13 02:19:14 PM  
7 votes:

I_C_Weener: Summoner101: This headline is not infantile enough for the depths Fark sinks to.

/C'mon, "Ok, Pope is coming out."
//Comedy gold, Jerry!

I was late.  New Pope selected.  Classic Pope still better tasting.


I prefer Pope Zero
2013-03-13 02:16:51 PM  
7 votes:
I guess the gay bath house will be busy tonight.
2013-03-13 03:17:15 PM  
6 votes:
timothywlong.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:54:17 PM  
6 votes:
I hear if the new pope sees his shadow, there will be six more centuries of Catholic irrelevancy.
2013-03-13 02:42:11 PM  
6 votes:
fwb21.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:38:07 PM  
6 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size


Poperah!
2013-03-13 02:36:38 PM  
6 votes:

robsul82: [www.wrestlinglol.com image 509x398]


I'm hoping for *this* guy:

25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:35:05 PM  
6 votes:
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:23:08 PM  
6 votes:
images2.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:20:57 PM  
6 votes:
Abandon pope, all ye who enter here
2013-03-13 02:19:11 PM  
6 votes:
They live in a palace made of granite and gold with priceless art, but their chimney looks like a hobo jerry rigged it.
2013-03-13 02:18:39 PM  
6 votes:

Adjective Bird Whiskey: I hope this one has horns.


Agreed, a solid horn section is vital when bringing the funk.
2013-03-13 02:17:30 PM  
6 votes:
QUICK SOMEBODY STAMPEDE CATTLE THROUGH THE VATICAN
2013-03-13 02:16:51 PM  
6 votes:
Nate Silver predicted this
2013-03-13 02:16:08 PM  
6 votes:
Millions watching a stovepipe online now have nothing to do.
2013-03-13 07:11:17 PM  
5 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 03:54:40 PM  
5 votes:
i63.photobucket.comView Full Size


/ah, a joke borne of the fruits of a Jesuit education, lol
2013-03-13 03:53:01 PM  
5 votes:
blogs.reuters.comView Full Size

Miss Me Yet?

2013-03-13 03:39:16 PM  
5 votes:
HAS ANYONE SEEN THE MOVIE "STRIPES"? THEY HAD A CHARACTER IN IT NAMED FRANCIS WHO DIDN'T LIKE BEING CALLED FRANCIS AND SOMEONE TOLD HIM TO LIGHTEN UP, THEN CALLED HIM FRANCIS! IT WAS HILARIOUS! I ONLY MENTION THIS BECAUSE THE NEW POPE'S NAME IS FRANCIS!
2013-03-13 03:18:19 PM  
5 votes:

bdub77: [www.catapulta.com.ar image 253x350]

Basically, the dad from Arrested Development.


There's always money in the Communion Stand
2013-03-13 03:17:01 PM  
5 votes:

robsul82: New Pope throwing up, sobbing into the toilet that he's not ready as cardinals comfort him.


His palms are sweaty, knees weak, staff is heavy
There's vomit on his simar already, rome's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drop psalms,
But he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down,
The Vatican goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's choking how, everybody's joking now
The smoke's rose up, time's up over, bloah!
2013-03-13 03:11:59 PM  
5 votes:
i6.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 03:09:01 PM  
5 votes:
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.netView Full Size
2013-03-13 03:08:53 PM  
5 votes:

netgamer7k: Somebody's peaking through the curtains!


iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.deView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:44:43 PM  
5 votes:

KingKauff: What I really wonder is what the spread is like for the Conclave meals


Probably a bunch of old meat between new buns.
2013-03-13 02:35:32 PM  
5 votes:

DickDarlington: Waiting for the new pope to come out on the balcony and start gunning down the crowd....


Pope Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho the First?
2013-03-13 02:23:53 PM  
5 votes:
Karl Rove insisting it's still too early to call
2013-03-13 02:18:31 PM  
5 votes:

durbnpoisn: Good.  Can we just get over this already?

Speaking as a non-Catholic, I find it completely absurd that the news media is portraying this as some sort of gigantic event for all of humanity.  My coffee will still taste the same tomorrow...  In other words, it means less than nothing to me.


You sound fallible.
2013-03-13 02:16:39 PM  
5 votes:
Will the new pope come out and see its shadow or not?
2013-03-13 02:15:11 PM  
5 votes:
This headline is not infantile enough for the depths Fark sinks to.

/C'mon, "Ok, Pope is coming out."
//Comedy gold, Jerry!
2013-03-13 02:14:34 PM  
5 votes:
Nice.  Also happy we didn't get another "Pope is coming out" headline.
2013-03-13 04:42:44 PM  
4 votes:
img191.imageshack.usView Full Size
2013-03-13 03:53:25 PM  
4 votes:

ariseatex: "It's a very curious thing: When bishops meet, he always wants to sit in the back rows. This sense of humility is very well seen in Rome," Rubin said.

Looks like he'll get along with American Catholics just fine.


Ah, that's why we didn't get the black pope... he refused to sit in the back.
2013-03-13 03:46:11 PM  
4 votes:
Enlighten up, Francis
2013-03-13 03:16:25 PM  
4 votes:

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Argentina wins!


Gooooooooaaaaaaaallllll!
2013-03-13 02:51:53 PM  
4 votes:
He will be known as Pope GoldenPalace.com.
2013-03-13 02:50:06 PM  
4 votes:

VvonderJesus: "The new Pope is-"

*START STATIC*


i.imgur.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:44:43 PM  
4 votes:

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Weaver95: Petey4335: Weaver95: August11: What the hell is taking him so long? Put on the gown and get on the balcony! Sheesh.

they had to put the mind control parasite on first.

So, we're going to get a 15 year rein of this pope, he's going to die by the hands of G'kar and Vir will be the next pope?

pretty much, yeah.

Depends on if the Duras Sisters intent to interfere.


geez.  papal elections have more rules than calvinball....
2013-03-13 02:42:58 PM  
4 votes:
This might take a while, any one up for some Popecorn?
2013-03-13 02:39:18 PM  
4 votes:
sandystrachan.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:35:12 PM  
4 votes:

Onkel Buck: Endive Wombat: what do they use to make the smoke white?

.

Protestants


I like this answer.
2013-03-13 02:27:39 PM  
4 votes:

cgraves67: I love that new pope smell.


Pope-ourri
2013-03-13 02:27:19 PM  
4 votes:
I want the old Italian women in my neighborhood to have to put a picture of a black man on thier wall.
2013-03-13 02:20:49 PM  
4 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size


Please be a black pope!!!
2013-03-13 02:19:06 PM  
4 votes:
2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:17:33 PM  
4 votes:
Just as described in the Bible on how to elect a new Pope.  Hallelujah!
2013-03-13 02:17:27 PM  
4 votes:
Pope jonathan Livingston I.
2013-03-13 06:20:45 PM  
3 votes:
I'll kinda miss this guy:
s3-ec.buzzfed.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 06:15:57 PM  
3 votes:
Yo Jorge, I'm really happy for you, Imma let you finish but John Paul II had the best Papacy of all time!

To honor him, here's a verse of a song I wrote, sung to the tune of "little bar of soap":

Oh I wish I was a little Polish pope.
Yes I wish I was a little Polish pope.
I would pray all through the day-o,
I would pardon Galileo,
If I were a little Polish pope.
2013-03-13 04:13:17 PM  
3 votes:
FINALLY, A POPE WHO WILL DRAG THE CHURCH, KICKING AND SCREAMING, INTO THE 19TH CENTURY!

2013-03-13 04:05:16 PM  
3 votes:
i46.tinypic.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 03:59:50 PM  
3 votes:
boingboing.netView Full Size
2013-03-13 03:55:03 PM  
3 votes:
oi48.tinypic.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 03:42:53 PM  
3 votes:
newmatilda.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 03:26:52 PM  
3 votes:
He's from Argentina? Not another German pope!
2013-03-13 03:25:10 PM  
3 votes:
We have pope-sign the likes of which GOD has never seen.
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
2013-03-13 03:24:13 PM  
3 votes:

Stephen_Falken: if he comes to the states I wanna see this f*cker's green card. Damn mexicans are everywhere.


libertynews.comView Full Size


"Now we've got these damn South Americans coming into MY church, and you expect me to follow THEM? Not in Jack Swagger's America."
2013-03-13 03:23:37 PM  
3 votes:
Bergolio gets elected Pope on the 5th ballot.It would have been the first ballot were it not for his steroid use in the 90's

- John Karalis (@RedsArmy_John) March 13, 2013
2013-03-13 03:19:51 PM  
3 votes:

6655321: I_C_Weener: Summoner101: This headline is not infantile enough for the depths Fark sinks to.

/C'mon, "Ok, Pope is coming out."
//Comedy gold, Jerry!

I was late.  New Pope selected.  Classic Pope still better tasting.

I prefer Pope Zero


Bring back Crystal Popesi!
2013-03-13 03:19:35 PM  
3 votes:

uncleacid: Can we be Frank?


don3k.nocorvair.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 03:18:14 PM  
3 votes:
24.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

Pope Rico I: Strong for God, strong on bugs.

2013-03-13 03:16:42 PM  
3 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: They're not going to lower him from the rafters, are they?

Then we'll have to go through this all again.


It's AFTER he's gone, THEN they raise his hat into the rafters of St. Peter's; with his jersey number on the hat
2013-03-13 03:14:49 PM  
3 votes:
Lighten up, Francis.
2013-03-13 03:11:07 PM  
3 votes:
It just feels weird with no Dick Clark there.
2013-03-13 03:10:20 PM  
3 votes:

deadsanta: Seriously wtf, pick your pope-name and come out already, I'm sick of winter!


You can't tell me that Cardinals don't stay up late at night, laying in bed, dreaming up their possible Pope names.
2013-03-13 03:07:26 PM  
3 votes:
zicoydelia.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 03:05:13 PM  
3 votes:
3.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:52:16 PM  
3 votes:
i492.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:52:05 PM  
3 votes:

JohnnyApocalypse: ... what's a pope?


He's an old guy in a funny hat who condones child molestation and dispises contraception, but that's not important right now.
jbc [TotalFark]
2013-03-13 02:49:40 PM  
3 votes:

Summoner101: This headline is not infantile enough for the depths Fark sinks to.


"Where there's smoke, there's friar?"
2013-03-13 02:49:39 PM  
3 votes:

Endive Wombat: what is the purpose of this marching band stuff?


To get the crowd pumped up before the new Pope runs through a banner onto St. Peter's Square.
2013-03-13 02:48:11 PM  
3 votes:
I'd love to see him come out with "So ya, thought ya, might like to come to the show/To feel the warm thrill of confusion, that space cadet glow..."
2013-03-13 02:46:35 PM  
3 votes:
If Tebow comes out on that balcony I'm getting you all drunk.
2013-03-13 02:46:24 PM  
3 votes:
Papa.

Oscar.

Papa.

Echo.


POPE

/BAH GAWD KING HE'S COMING THROUGH THE CROWD
2013-03-13 02:43:14 PM  
3 votes:
The CNN.com guy left his mic on.  Got to hear the production manager talking with someone named Emma about how "the last announcement with Ratzinger was in Latin, so it's important that someone knows it."
2013-03-13 02:41:51 PM  
3 votes:

WinoRhino: I expected the Pope's music to be more... regal and less "Hurry, hurry hurrrry! Step right up and ride the tilt-a-whirl!"


I was hoping they'd play the Imperial March,
2013-03-13 02:40:56 PM  
3 votes:
surprised NBC isn't showing this on tape delay in primetime with commercials
2013-03-13 02:38:37 PM  
3 votes:
christwire.orgView Full Size

/habeo nullum
2013-03-13 02:37:13 PM  
3 votes:
i171.photobucket.comView Full Size


Yes, yes!  fark you, too!
2013-03-13 02:37:10 PM  
3 votes:
Can you imagine the coronary Limbaugh will have if the Pope is black?
2013-03-13 02:36:43 PM  
3 votes:
As a very confused but enthusiastic American once wrote on a sign for a papal celebration in Mexico City:



VIVA LA PAPA! VIVA LA PAPA! VIVA LA PAPA!



/white smoke must mean deep fat fried potatoes
2013-03-13 02:36:16 PM  
3 votes:
Worst. Halftime. Show. Ever.
2013-03-13 02:35:32 PM  
3 votes:
daps.tvView Full Size


Dim the lights, here...we...GO.
2013-03-13 02:34:08 PM  
3 votes:

Max Awesome: I hope it's a dolphin pope.

/really want a dolphin pope.


goodbye and thanks for all the jesus fish
2013-03-13 02:30:08 PM  
3 votes:

NeoCortex42: That was a much quicker decision than I expected.  I figured we'd be going another day or two.


well it's either that or the Sistine chapel is on fire


Though given the state the church is in right ow, I'm pretty sure the New pope is the guy who said "not it" slowest
2013-03-13 02:28:53 PM  
3 votes:
I really really really hope Cardinal Onarope gets the most votes....
2013-03-13 02:27:01 PM  
3 votes:

allegedman: QUICK SOMEBODY STAMPEDE CATTLE THROUGH THE VATICAN


johnlocke.orgView Full Size

Kinky...
2013-03-13 02:25:33 PM  
3 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:25:24 PM  
3 votes:
media-cache-ec2.pinterest.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:21:39 PM  
3 votes:
hamms-hat.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:21:11 PM  
3 votes:
*ding* You've got a Pope
2013-03-13 02:19:19 PM  
3 votes:
First Jewish Pope?
2013-03-13 02:19:08 PM  
3 votes:

allegedman: QUICK SOMEBODY STAMPEDE CATTLE THROUGH THE VATICAN


Kinky . . .
2013-03-13 02:18:21 PM  
3 votes:

ranold: Will the new pope come out and see its shadow or not?


Thousands are waiting there to get their new iPope.
2013-03-13 02:17:42 PM  
3 votes:
LaRussa coming back? Good deal.
2013-03-13 02:17:02 PM  
3 votes:
Thanks Obama
2013-03-13 02:15:29 PM  
3 votes:
I hope this one has horns.
2013-03-13 02:15:16 PM  
3 votes:
Is it Dennis Rodman?
2013-03-13 09:47:15 PM  
2 votes:

Captain Steroid: Lt. Cheese Weasel: Ya'll are so stupid. There is no god, no muhammed, no buddah, no chtuhul.  There is only Zuul.

Silly Weasel! That's not how you spell Twilight Sparkle! :-)


derpicdn.netView Full Size


All hail Her Holiness, Pope Twilight of Ponyville!
2013-03-13 09:41:22 PM  
2 votes:

Lt. Cheese Weasel: Ya'll are so stupid. There is no god, no muhammed, no buddah, no chtuhul.  There is only Zuul.


Silly Weasel! That's not how you spell Twilight Sparkle! :-)
2013-03-13 09:19:10 PM  
2 votes:

vrax: [i45.tinypic.com image 517x648]


That was my thought too, but I went a little more theological than the ol' Bred and Jam (Loves and Fishes for Francis?)
No,
I've gone with the new edition 'Vatican for Francis'

fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.netView Full Size
2013-03-13 07:35:52 PM  
2 votes:

indylaw: All those hoping for a Templar pope will have to wait.


I've waited enough turns since the last crusade.  Templar pope or not, I am still going to ask for another.  Owning Jerusalem is one of my victory conditions.
2013-03-13 06:53:08 PM  
2 votes:

Paris1127: And now, a tribute to the last two popes, in the form of Photoshopped images:
[poperesigns.net image 600x279]
[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x299]


I'm more partial to this one of Benedict:

i.imgur.comView Full Size


/chose Francis as my Confirmation name in High School
//think that gets me perks in the Vatican now?
///slashies come in threes
2013-03-13 06:39:58 PM  
2 votes:
And all the other Cardinals are saying "Haha! You're it!"
2013-03-13 06:06:00 PM  
2 votes:
Conservapedia proven right again!

i.imgur.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 05:55:35 PM  
2 votes:
Adieu, Pope Palpatine, hello, Pope Giuliani:

cdn.historycommons.orgView Full Size
msnbcmedia.msn.comView Full Size


/...or is it Pope Rudy IXII?
2013-03-13 05:24:19 PM  
2 votes:

cptjeff: Great Porn Dragon: cptjeff: downstairs: This text is now purple: Grand_Moff_Joseph: Wow, a guy with a Chemistry degree!  Might we get some respect for science????

Catholics aren't evangelicals.  The Big Bang came from a Catholic priest.

I can attest to this.  Went to Catholic church from birth through 9th grade.  Went to CCD as well.  Evolution was never mentioned.  Heck, I know my dad- a hard-core Irish Catholic- taught us evolution.

They had some issues with Copernicus and Galileo, but they got over it, and these days, the Catholic Church is pretty science friendly, and they have their own observatory- which, since they're not relying on year to year grants with pressure to show results, allows them to do a lot of research on multiple decade timescales that most astronomers can't. Catholics aren't the ones who bang on the "god buried dinosaur bones to test us" drum.

And interestingly, Dr. Robert Bakker (who not only was pretty much the first guy to come around to the modern image of dinosaurs as homeothermic, feathery beasties (who still live with us as birds) but is also a pastor and has a theological degree that isn't from a dominionist ordination mill) actually has a very nice essay called The Pope's Velociraptor...and the KKK (noting that the Catholics--especially Jesuits--were funding a LOT of paleontology research and doing it themselves, whilst a lot of the Young-Earth-Creationist stuff was originally promoted by racist Protestants in the US).

Why can't more academic papers have titles like that? I'm currently working my way through the latest issue of the Journal of Democracy, with such barn burning titles as, "Regime Types and Democratic Sequencing" and, "Controlling Corruption Through Collective Action".


My thesis was originally "The Nine Billion Names of Donner."

\had to change it
2013-03-13 05:06:37 PM  
2 votes:
l2.yimg.comView Full Size


¡Viven de largo Papa Francisco, una vez y futuro campeón de Católicos! ¡La muerte rápida de mayo acontece a los herejes! ¡Todos granizan Papa Francisco, rey de los Argentinos!

2013-03-13 05:00:26 PM  
2 votes:

chubby muppet: How do you get a nun pregnant?  Dress her up as an altar boy.
[img.photobucket.com image 214x299]
/Dressed up for the occasion


The alternate version of the joke presented on Jackie's Joke Hunt was "How do you get a nun pregnant? Get an altar boy to shiat in her coont."

i6.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 04:50:22 PM  
2 votes:

Holfax: Has he announced who his vice-Pope will be?

//not Catholic


I don't know, someone with a kickass 1981 Audi Quattro he can wash in the Vatican driveway?

img-cache.cdn.gaiaonline.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 04:38:13 PM  
2 votes:
Episode XVI: A New Pope
2013-03-13 04:32:53 PM  
2 votes:
media.heavy.comView Full Size


Approves

/me, that is
2013-03-13 04:16:56 PM  
2 votes:
Guys, we all know who Fark would pick for pope if WE had been given the vote...

bbsimg.ngfiles.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 04:12:31 PM  
2 votes:
Pope Frances, huh? I guess nobody'll put baby in a corner now!
flix66.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 04:00:57 PM  
2 votes:

give me doughnuts: He also kidnapped a coulple of other jesuit priests back in 1976. Probably raped and killd them just like Glen Beck did that girl in 1990.


I heard he provided Beck the car he was using when he raped and killed a girl in 1990, and then Pope Francis got in touch with his American Jesuit Bishop friends who then helped to cover up the rape and murder that Glen Beck did back in 1990.
2013-03-13 03:59:12 PM  
2 votes:
i939.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 03:43:14 PM  
2 votes:
I wonder if when he came out, the sound system was playing "Pope! There He Is" by Tag Team...
2013-03-13 03:37:07 PM  
2 votes:

onzmadi: elchip: Wasn't Looking at his Neck: Uh, isn't Jorge a version of Peter?....

No, that's "Pedro."  Jorge is George.

So we've had John Paul, Jorge and Ratzingo?


I think something they all can agree on is hating Yoko Ono.
2013-03-13 03:36:37 PM  
2 votes:
how long before Pope Francis asks the Queen of England to give the Falklands back to Argentina?
2013-03-13 03:33:30 PM  
2 votes:
THIS IS THE GREATEST NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF OUR RELIGION!

i6.photobucket.comView Full Size

2013-03-13 03:33:06 PM  
2 votes:
Hey has anyone posted this yet?

morethings.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 03:32:32 PM  
2 votes:
Pope Francis
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 03:31:11 PM  
2 votes:
"Thank you very much for electing me Pope.  With that being said..."

i.imgur.comView Full Size


"Amen."
2013-03-13 03:29:54 PM  
2 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size


...FAIL...
2013-03-13 03:29:26 PM  
2 votes:
media.comicvine.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 03:29:00 PM  
2 votes:
You know what would be hilarious?  He has a heart attack from this whole thing and keels over.
2013-03-13 03:28:41 PM  
2 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: Ave Maria?

So, what, he's singing now?


"We saw your boobs, we saw your boobs...."
2013-03-13 03:27:46 PM  
2 votes:
I half-expected it to be James Franco.
2013-03-13 03:25:46 PM  
2 votes:
moss covered three handled papal gredunza
2013-03-13 03:25:37 PM  
2 votes:

WinoRhino: I expected the Pope's music to be more... regal and less "Hurry, hurry hurrrry! Step right up and ride the tilt-a-whirl!"


They play on a calliopope?
Ant
2013-03-13 03:24:35 PM  
2 votes:

Cyberluddite: It must be pretty cool to be able to suddenly become infallable just because a bunch of old, mostly white, allegedly-celibate dudes wearing red dresses vote that you are. Too bad we can't elect presidents that way.


His infallibility super powers aren't enabled all the time. He has to invoke them when they're needed. You know, like He-Man had to do the whole "By the power of Greyskull!" thing.
2013-03-13 03:24:18 PM  
2 votes:
img204.imageshack.usView Full Size
2013-03-13 03:22:33 PM  
2 votes:

Car_Ramrod: bdub77: [www.catapulta.com.ar image 253x350]

Basically, the dad from Arrested Development.

He looks like Christopher Lloyd.


The Libyans are NOT gonna be happy.
2013-03-13 03:21:53 PM  
2 votes:
i45.tinypic.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 03:21:32 PM  
2 votes:

Car_Ramrod: Thank god they got away from that Hitler youth guy, and picked someone from Argentina.

Wait a minute...


OK. that was good.
2013-03-13 03:20:54 PM  
2 votes:
Hip hip. Jorge!
2013-03-13 03:20:51 PM  
2 votes:
if he comes to the states I wanna see this f*cker's green card. Damn mexicans are everywhere.
2013-03-13 03:20:29 PM  
2 votes:

Donnchadha: PsyLord: Grand_Moff_Joseph: Argentina wins!

Gooooooooaaaaaaaallllll!

Clearly this vote was due to the Hand of God


The crowd should welcome the new Pope in this manner:

theoffside.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 03:20:29 PM  
2 votes:
Nobody tells me to 'lighten up'...

i309.photobucket.comView Full Size


I'm da POPE!

2013-03-13 03:20:00 PM  
2 votes:
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.comView Full Size

First order of business, put some new rims on the Popemobile and make it a lowrider.
jbc [TotalFark]
2013-03-13 03:18:03 PM  
2 votes:
morethings.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 03:17:01 PM  
2 votes:
Oh great, that means the Argies are going to get all uppity about the Falklands again because now they're gonna think they have god on their side.
2013-03-13 03:15:54 PM  
2 votes:

GAT_00: Holy shiat, from Buenos Aires.


Does this mean God is going to war against the Arachnids?
2013-03-13 03:15:37 PM  
2 votes:
Shouldn't the Padres have been picking the new Pope?
2013-03-13 03:14:50 PM  
2 votes:
media.tumblr.comView Full Size


Looks like a good choice to me.
2013-03-13 03:13:58 PM  
2 votes:
This is a worse debut than the shockmaster
2013-03-13 03:13:37 PM  
2 votes:
The prophecy of Malachy are coming to fruition Look for meteors to hit Rome this summer
2013-03-13 03:12:36 PM  
2 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size


WHO THE FARK IS THAT
2013-03-13 03:11:30 PM  
2 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 03:09:42 PM  
2 votes:
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 03:08:59 PM  
2 votes:

durbnpoisn: Good.  Can we just get over this already?

Speaking as a non-Catholic, I find it completely absurd that the news media is portraying this as some sort of gigantic event for all of humanity.  My coffee will still taste the same tomorrow...  In other words, it means less than nothing to me.


Speaking as an atheist, it's a pretty big deal to 1.2 Billion humans.  What are you some kind of fruity "Jesus Rock" new aged brand of evangelical with an inferiority complex about Catholicism like most other American Christians?  You seem petty and small.
2013-03-13 03:08:36 PM  
2 votes:

deadsanta: Seriously wtf, pick your pope-name and come out already, I'm sick of winter!


They're probably trying to convince the new pope that now is the WORST time to pick "Peter" as your pope name.
2013-03-13 03:07:39 PM  
2 votes:
He's peeking out! He's turtlin'!
2013-03-13 03:07:29 PM  
2 votes:

GAT_00: Announcement imminent.


prepare for rapture!  rapture in 5 minutes!  alpha teams to start position. Alpha teams to start position.  rapture in 5 minutes!
2013-03-13 03:02:49 PM  
2 votes:

Rann Xerox: bdub77: My money is on Scherer.

My money is on Ratzinger walking onto the balcony and saying: "Fooled you guys!"


BAH GAWD KING, THATS RATZINGERS MUSIC!  DAMN HIM.
2013-03-13 02:59:26 PM  
2 votes:
i.qkme.meView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:57:26 PM  
2 votes:
content8.flixster.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:56:52 PM  
2 votes:
POPE BEAN!!

dumpaday.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:56:21 PM  
2 votes:

Stephen_Falken: Right, so I'm watching this video online from the Vatican. Who is "Feline Papa"?


Ceiling Cat
2013-03-13 02:55:11 PM  
2 votes:

FizixJunkee: DaJesus: MNguy: Non-practicing Catholic here.  Chance of black Pope = <0%  Latin = 3%  Old white guy = 96.7%

Really? Because Cardinal Peter Turkson has been given 6/1 odds. 3rd best odds.
Source

Wasn't that African cardinal a forerunner the last time?


The Vatican has to abide by the Rooney Rule.
2013-03-13 02:53:01 PM  
2 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:51:31 PM  
2 votes:

nekom: Is it just me or did that smoke look most definitely black at first, then turn white?


I was going to make a joke about cremating Michael Jackson, but couldn't decide if that went beyond even Fark's boundaries.
2013-03-13 02:51:11 PM  
2 votes:
If THIS would happen.....it would be AWESOME!

lamarzulli.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:51:10 PM  
2 votes:
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.comView Full Size


Pope?  With sweat and young mans balls?

They could at least have gotten Darmok and Jalad to do the pre game music.

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:50:59 PM  
2 votes:
I would love to see the black cardinal walk out. Their collective faces would look like the townsfolk did when Sheriff Bart rode up on Rock Ridge.
2013-03-13 02:49:43 PM  
2 votes:
i171.photobucket.comView Full Size


All hail Pope Hilarius the Second!
2013-03-13 02:49:04 PM  
2 votes:
Word is in: Frank Zappa IS the new Pope. The official anthem will be Illinois Enema Bandit!

time to eat some crackers and drink some wine
2013-03-13 02:49:01 PM  
2 votes:
"The new Pope is-"

*START STATIC*
2013-03-13 02:45:57 PM  
2 votes:

Weaver95: Petey4335: Weaver95: August11: What the hell is taking him so long? Put on the gown and get on the balcony! Sheesh.

they had to put the mind control parasite on first.

So, we're going to get a 15 year rein of this pope, he's going to die by the hands of G'kar and Vir will be the next pope?

pretty much, yeah.


He has to write an acceptance speech. Difficulty: in Aramaic.
2013-03-13 02:45:46 PM  
2 votes:
PSA:

"The Borgias" Season 3 starts on Showtime on April 14th.
2013-03-13 02:45:30 PM  
2 votes:

GAT_00: robsul82: The CNN.com guy left his mic on.  Got to hear the production manager talking with someone named Emma about how "the last announcement with Ratzinger was in Latin, so it's important that someone knows it."

The Beeb covered that 10 minutes ago, about how they need to be quick on the translation.


On it.

media.tumblr.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:44:14 PM  
2 votes:
If the band takes requests, I'd like to hear The Final Countdown
2013-03-13 02:44:01 PM  
2 votes:
C'MOOOOON BLACK GUY!
2013-03-13 02:42:36 PM  
2 votes:
You know, watching this, they could use a big crystal ball dropping and have the crowd chanting 10...9...8...7...
2013-03-13 02:41:27 PM  
2 votes:
How long till we find out? I NEED TO KNOW IF WE HAVE A BLOPE.
2013-03-13 02:40:33 PM  
2 votes:
The dark horse candidate:

theblacksphere.netView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:40:02 PM  
2 votes:
Man, with that much white smoke, those Cardinals are going to have some serious munchies.
2013-03-13 02:39:41 PM  
2 votes:
Are we sure the new Pope isn't just Ronaiah Tuiasosopo?
- Will McAvoy (@WillMcAvoyACN) March 13, 2013
2013-03-13 02:39:29 PM  
2 votes:
Actually is Pope Dolan?

i48.tinypic.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:38:44 PM  
2 votes:

Weaver95: August11: What the hell is taking him so long? Put on the gown and get on the balcony! Sheesh.

they had to put the mind control parasite on first.


So, we're going to get a 15 year rein of this pope, he's going to die by the hands of G'kar and Vir will be the next pope?
2013-03-13 02:36:49 PM  
2 votes:

neritz: MNguy: henryhill: neritz: netgamer7k: [i.imgur.com image 250x135]

Please be a black pope!!!

This.

Latin American

Acceptable, but the butt hurt will be much greater with a black one.


True, but the extra butthurt will only affect altar boys.
2013-03-13 02:35:57 PM  
2 votes:
I hope he remembers that I asked for an iPhone for Christmas.
All he gave me last year was a molestation and an apology.
2013-03-13 02:35:32 PM  
2 votes:
It's Pope Cthulhu!
2013-03-13 02:35:21 PM  
2 votes:
I expected the Pope's music to be more... regal and less "Hurry, hurry hurrrry! Step right up and ride the tilt-a-whirl!"
2013-03-13 02:35:07 PM  
2 votes:
Welcome to...POPE....IS.....JERICHO!!!!!
2013-03-13 02:34:00 PM  
2 votes:
Here comes the fight song
2013-03-13 02:33:56 PM  
2 votes:

August11: What the hell is taking him so long? Put on the gown and get on the balcony! Sheesh.


they had to put the mind control parasite on first.
2013-03-13 02:32:07 PM  
2 votes:
Pope and change.  Thanks Fartbongo

/
2013-03-13 02:31:17 PM  
2 votes:
So, if the pope weighs the same as a duck; he's made of wood?
2013-03-13 02:31:07 PM  
2 votes:
i221.photobucket.comView Full Size


Yankee Bishops frown upon the Cardinals shenaggengins
2013-03-13 02:30:45 PM  
2 votes:
I hope it's a dolphin pope.

/really want a dolphin pope.
2013-03-13 02:30:12 PM  
2 votes:
i36.photobucket.comView Full Size

You are now reading this thread in Gilbert Gottfried's voice

2013-03-13 02:29:07 PM  
2 votes:

TheOther: Wouldn't that be Peter?


I thought it was Paul. Peter was with Mary when they wrote 'Pope the Magic Dragon'
2013-03-13 02:28:59 PM  
2 votes:
The pope is a *DANG*


img14.imageshack.usView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:27:20 PM  
2 votes:
media.screened.comView Full Size


Dude, he saved Vatican City with a helicopter!  What's not to like!
2013-03-13 02:27:00 PM  
2 votes:

VvonderJesus: Karl Rove insisting it's still too early to call


HAHAHAHA!
2013-03-13 02:26:42 PM  
2 votes:
I don't care who the new pope is, so long as he chooses Lando II as his papal name.
2013-03-13 02:25:59 PM  
2 votes:
A second pope has hit the world tra...Oh, f*ck it.

Maybe they elected Berlusconi.
2013-03-13 02:25:25 PM  
2 votes:
Did the Galgamex get to vote on this pope?

ct.fra.bzView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:22:36 PM  
2 votes:

Adjective Bird Whiskey: I hope this one has horns.


I'll be happy as long as he has 10 fingers and 10 toes.

Oh, and is a Nazi pedophile, but that goes without saying.
2013-03-13 02:21:50 PM  
2 votes:
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size


Not impressed.
2013-03-13 02:20:52 PM  
2 votes:
I was surprised that they went with a Buddhist.
2013-03-13 02:19:59 PM  
2 votes:
I wanted the seagull to still be standing on the chimney when the smoke rose, ideally getting startled by it, and pooping in front of millions
2013-03-13 02:19:40 PM  
2 votes:

I_C_Weener: Summoner101: This headline is not infantile enough for the depths Fark sinks to.

/C'mon, "Ok, Pope is coming out."
//Comedy gold, Jerry!

I was late.  New Pope selected.  Classic Pope still better tasting.


The good news is that the classic Pope will be available along side the new Pope on your Vatican shelves once they are finished changing around the display.

/hopefully they had the good sense to pick someone under 60 this time
2013-03-13 02:18:16 PM  
2 votes:
media.riffraf.netView Full Size

Doesn't seem very Popeish to me.....
2013-03-13 02:17:48 PM  
2 votes:
Good.  Can we just get over this already?

Speaking as a non-Catholic, I find it completely absurd that the news media is portraying this as some sort of gigantic event for all of humanity.  My coffee will still taste the same tomorrow...  In other words, it means less than nothing to me.
2013-03-13 02:17:17 PM  
2 votes:
deprofundisclamaviadtedomine.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 02:16:43 PM  
2 votes:
The white smoke is really from the celebratory bong hits for coming to a decision.
2013-03-13 02:16:30 PM  
2 votes:

KingKauff: Great headline, subby.


Did you submit this?
2013-03-13 02:16:21 PM  
2 votes:
The Antichrist rises
2013-03-13 02:15:35 PM  
2 votes:
Great headline, subby.
2013-03-13 02:15:25 PM  
2 votes:
Is it just me or did that smoke look most definitely black at first, then turn white?  Or maybe it's just because it's dark there.

POPE THREAD!!!1
2013-03-13 02:14:46 PM  
2 votes:
Yes.  THIS one is good.
2013-03-13 10:53:19 PM  
1 vote:
Just wait until Francis gives his first Easter Mass. Out of nowhere...
i107.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-03-13 10:09:01 PM  
1 vote:

Tillmaster: He's from Argentina? Not another German pope!


Habemus pampas?
2013-03-13 09:40:04 PM  
1 vote:

TheManofPA: Igor Jakovsky: Im glad to see that this thread was full of actual discussion, memes, and a limited amount of derp.  I'll be interested to see if this Pope starts some reforms, starting with the contraception BS.

/Catholic, though not really churchgoing anymore
//confirmation name was Thomas, as in Becket.  My 8th grade self thought he was kind of a badass, giving King Henry shiat.

What's sad is I can't think your first name as anything but Igor after all these threads.


Many lulz.  Ive got you favorited, as are some others in this thread as well.  Makes it more fun. You are The Man...of PA

/Also the guy playing Samson in the History Channel's Bible should be Mark Henry.
2013-03-13 09:12:17 PM  
1 vote:
After a cursory glance, I somehow viewed this as "candidate hire new manager". Now, not only is this grammatically incorrect, it's also confusing. Upon re-reading it, I understood it for what it was, finding my own potentially unfolding CSB more interesting than the "news" itself.

/no, not stoned-

//that is all

///DNRTFA

////end of questionable CSB
2013-03-13 09:01:23 PM  
1 vote:

Igor Jakovsky: Im glad to see that this thread was full of actual discussion, memes, and a limited amount of derp.  I'll be interested to see if this Pope starts some reforms, starting with the contraception BS.

/Catholic, though not really churchgoing anymore
//confirmation name was Thomas, as in Becket.  My 8th grade self thought he was kind of a badass, giving King Henry shiat.


What's sad is I can't think your first name as anything but Igor after all these threads.
2013-03-13 08:52:34 PM  
1 vote:
Congratulations to the new Holy Si!