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(NBC News) NewsFlash Cardinals hire new manager   (worldnews.nbcnews.com) divider line 498
    More: NewsFlash, Sistine Chapel, white smoke, rises, Castel Gandolfo, basilica, papal elections, NBC News  
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26337 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2013 at 2:13 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»


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Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-13 02:17:25 PM
32 votes:
It'd be awesome if no one emerged all day and night, but smoke kept billowing out.  Finally, tomorrow morning, they knock down the door and find nothing but a bunch of charred remains and the stench of burnt flesh.  Then that seagull flies in and starts turbo-shiatting all over everything.  I see in rock and roll.
2013-03-13 02:20:04 PM
23 votes:
4.bp.blogspot.com
2013-03-13 02:34:39 PM
18 votes:

Endive Wombat: what do they use to make the smoke white?

.


Protestants
2013-03-13 02:24:54 PM
17 votes:
imageshack.us
2013-03-13 02:19:39 PM
15 votes:
msnbcmedia.msn.com

BREAKING NEWS: MARIJUANA LEGALIZED IN VATICAN CITY

/meh
2013-03-13 03:18:35 PM
13 votes:
Thank god they got away from that Hitler youth guy, and picked someone from Argentina.

Wait a minute...
2013-03-13 02:51:26 PM
11 votes:
A SECOND POPE HAS HIT THE SOUTH VATICAN!
2013-03-13 02:27:21 PM
11 votes:
s13.postimage.org
2013-03-13 02:17:28 PM
11 votes:
does romney have his concession speech ready?
2013-03-13 02:32:44 PM
10 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-03-13 02:33:52 PM
9 votes:
BAH GAWD KING THAT'S THE POPE'S MUSIC
2013-03-13 03:32:32 PM
8 votes:

elchip: Wasn't Looking at his Neck: Uh, isn't Jorge a version of Peter?....

No, that's "Pedro."  Jorge is George.


So we've had John Paul, Jorge and Ratzingo?
2013-03-13 03:21:25 PM
8 votes:
Another job taken by a Latino!

Back to the pile................
2013-03-13 02:45:03 PM
8 votes:

TheOther: Millions watching a stovepipe online now have nothing to do.


Well, I am kind of a big deal.
2013-03-13 02:36:12 PM
8 votes:
www.picshag.com
2013-03-13 02:34:54 PM
8 votes:
Once again, Ron Paul supporters are going home empty-handed.
2013-03-13 02:23:52 PM
8 votes:
Please tell me it's Cardinal Glick!
www.thefilmpilgrim.com
2013-03-13 02:18:32 PM
8 votes:
I love that new pope smell.
2013-03-13 02:16:32 PM
8 votes:

Summoner101: This headline is not infantile enough for the depths Fark sinks to.

/C'mon, "Ok, Pope is coming out."
//Comedy gold, Jerry!


I was late.  New Pope selected.  Classic Pope still better tasting.
2013-03-13 02:16:01 PM
8 votes:
LET'S GET READY TO HUMBLE, CATHOLICS!
2013-03-13 06:34:29 PM
7 votes:
www.dumpaday.com
2013-03-13 02:59:54 PM
7 votes:
i.imgur.com

Let the molestations begin!
2013-03-13 02:20:41 PM
7 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com
2013-03-13 02:19:46 PM
7 votes:
My money's on the old white guy.
2013-03-13 02:19:14 PM
7 votes:

I_C_Weener: Summoner101: This headline is not infantile enough for the depths Fark sinks to.

/C'mon, "Ok, Pope is coming out."
//Comedy gold, Jerry!

I was late.  New Pope selected.  Classic Pope still better tasting.


I prefer Pope Zero
2013-03-13 02:16:51 PM
7 votes:
I guess the gay bath house will be busy tonight.
2013-03-13 03:17:15 PM
6 votes:
timothywlong.com
2013-03-13 02:54:17 PM
6 votes:
I hear if the new pope sees his shadow, there will be six more centuries of Catholic irrelevancy.
2013-03-13 02:42:11 PM
6 votes:
www.fwb21.com
2013-03-13 02:38:07 PM
6 votes:
i.imgur.com

Poperah!
2013-03-13 02:36:38 PM
6 votes:

robsul82: [www.wrestlinglol.com image 509x398]


I'm hoping for *this* guy:

25.media.tumblr.com
2013-03-13 02:35:05 PM
6 votes:
pbs.twimg.com
2013-03-13 02:23:08 PM
6 votes:
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
2013-03-13 02:20:57 PM
6 votes:
Abandon pope, all ye who enter here
2013-03-13 02:19:11 PM
6 votes:
They live in a palace made of granite and gold with priceless art, but their chimney looks like a hobo jerry rigged it.
2013-03-13 02:18:39 PM
6 votes:

Adjective Bird Whiskey: I hope this one has horns.


Agreed, a solid horn section is vital when bringing the funk.
2013-03-13 02:17:30 PM
6 votes:
QUICK SOMEBODY STAMPEDE CATTLE THROUGH THE VATICAN
2013-03-13 02:16:51 PM
6 votes:
Nate Silver predicted this
2013-03-13 02:16:08 PM
6 votes:
Millions watching a stovepipe online now have nothing to do.
2013-03-13 07:11:17 PM
5 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-03-13 03:54:40 PM
5 votes:
i63.photobucket.com

/ah, a joke borne of the fruits of a Jesuit education, lol
2013-03-13 03:53:01 PM
5 votes:
blogs.reuters.com
Miss Me Yet?
2013-03-13 03:39:16 PM
5 votes:
HAS ANYONE SEEN THE MOVIE "STRIPES"? THEY HAD A CHARACTER IN IT NAMED FRANCIS WHO DIDN'T LIKE BEING CALLED FRANCIS AND SOMEONE TOLD HIM TO LIGHTEN UP, THEN CALLED HIM FRANCIS! IT WAS HILARIOUS! I ONLY MENTION THIS BECAUSE THE NEW POPE'S NAME IS FRANCIS!
2013-03-13 03:18:19 PM
5 votes:

bdub77: [www.catapulta.com.ar image 253x350]

Basically, the dad from Arrested Development.


There's always money in the Communion Stand
2013-03-13 03:17:01 PM
5 votes:

robsul82: New Pope throwing up, sobbing into the toilet that he's not ready as cardinals comfort him.


His palms are sweaty, knees weak, staff is heavy
There's vomit on his simar already, rome's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drop psalms,
But he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down,
The Vatican goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's choking how, everybody's joking now
The smoke's rose up, time's up over, bloah!
2013-03-13 03:11:59 PM
5 votes:
i6.photobucket.com
2013-03-13 03:09:01 PM
5 votes:
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net
2013-03-13 03:08:53 PM
5 votes:

netgamer7k: Somebody's peaking through the curtains!


iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de
2013-03-13 02:44:43 PM
5 votes:

KingKauff: What I really wonder is what the spread is like for the Conclave meals


Probably a bunch of old meat between new buns.
2013-03-13 02:35:32 PM
5 votes:

DickDarlington: Waiting for the new pope to come out on the balcony and start gunning down the crowd....


Pope Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho the First?
2013-03-13 02:23:53 PM
5 votes:
Karl Rove insisting it's still too early to call
2013-03-13 02:18:31 PM
5 votes:

durbnpoisn: Good.  Can we just get over this already?

Speaking as a non-Catholic, I find it completely absurd that the news media is portraying this as some sort of gigantic event for all of humanity.  My coffee will still taste the same tomorrow...  In other words, it means less than nothing to me.


You sound fallible.
2013-03-13 02:16:39 PM
5 votes:
Will the new pope come out and see its shadow or not?
2013-03-13 02:15:11 PM
5 votes:
This headline is not infantile enough for the depths Fark sinks to.

/C'mon, "Ok, Pope is coming out."
//Comedy gold, Jerry!
2013-03-13 02:14:34 PM
5 votes:
Nice.  Also happy we didn't get another "Pope is coming out" headline.
2013-03-13 04:42:44 PM
4 votes:
img191.imageshack.us
2013-03-13 03:53:25 PM
4 votes:

ariseatex: "It's a very curious thing: When bishops meet, he always wants to sit in the back rows. This sense of humility is very well seen in Rome," Rubin said.

Looks like he'll get along with American Catholics just fine.


Ah, that's why we didn't get the black pope... he refused to sit in the back.
2013-03-13 03:46:11 PM
4 votes:
Enlighten up, Francis
2013-03-13 03:16:25 PM
4 votes:

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Argentina wins!


Gooooooooaaaaaaaallllll!
2013-03-13 02:51:53 PM
4 votes:
He will be known as Pope GoldenPalace.com.
2013-03-13 02:50:06 PM
4 votes:

VvonderJesus: "The new Pope is-"

*START STATIC*


i.imgur.com
2013-03-13 02:44:43 PM
4 votes:

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Weaver95: Petey4335: Weaver95: August11: What the hell is taking him so long? Put on the gown and get on the balcony! Sheesh.

they had to put the mind control parasite on first.

So, we're going to get a 15 year rein of this pope, he's going to die by the hands of G'kar and Vir will be the next pope?

pretty much, yeah.

Depends on if the Duras Sisters intent to interfere.


geez.  papal elections have more rules than calvinball....
2013-03-13 02:42:58 PM
4 votes:
This might take a while, any one up for some Popecorn?
2013-03-13 02:39:18 PM
4 votes:
sandystrachan.files.wordpress.com
2013-03-13 02:35:12 PM
4 votes:

Onkel Buck: Endive Wombat: what do they use to make the smoke white?

.

Protestants


I like this answer.
2013-03-13 02:27:39 PM
4 votes:

cgraves67: I love that new pope smell.


Pope-ourri
2013-03-13 02:27:19 PM
4 votes:
I want the old Italian women in my neighborhood to have to put a picture of a black man on thier wall.
2013-03-13 02:20:49 PM
4 votes:
i.imgur.com

Please be a black pope!!!
2013-03-13 02:19:06 PM
4 votes:
2.bp.blogspot.com
2013-03-13 02:17:33 PM
4 votes:
Just as described in the Bible on how to elect a new Pope.  Hallelujah!
2013-03-13 02:17:27 PM
4 votes:
Pope jonathan Livingston I.
2013-03-13 06:20:45 PM
3 votes:
I'll kinda miss this guy:
s3-ec.buzzfed.com
2013-03-13 06:15:57 PM
3 votes:
Yo Jorge, I'm really happy for you, Imma let you finish but John Paul II had the best Papacy of all time!

To honor him, here's a verse of a song I wrote, sung to the tune of "little bar of soap":

Oh I wish I was a little Polish pope.
Yes I wish I was a little Polish pope.
I would pray all through the day-o,
I would pardon Galileo,
If I were a little Polish pope.
2013-03-13 04:13:17 PM
3 votes:
FINALLY, A POPE WHO WILL DRAG THE CHURCH, KICKING AND SCREAMING, INTO THE 19TH CENTURY!
2013-03-13 04:05:16 PM
3 votes:
i46.tinypic.com
2013-03-13 03:59:50 PM
3 votes:
boingboing.net
2013-03-13 03:55:03 PM
3 votes:
oi48.tinypic.com
2013-03-13 03:42:53 PM
3 votes:
newmatilda.com
2013-03-13 03:26:52 PM
3 votes:
He's from Argentina? Not another German pope!
2013-03-13 03:25:10 PM
3 votes:
We have pope-sign the likes of which GOD has never seen.
upload.wikimedia.org
2013-03-13 03:24:13 PM
3 votes:

Stephen_Falken: if he comes to the states I wanna see this f*cker's green card. Damn mexicans are everywhere.


www.libertynews.com

"Now we've got these damn South Americans coming into MY church, and you expect me to follow THEM? Not in Jack Swagger's America."
2013-03-13 03:23:37 PM
3 votes:

Bergolio gets elected Pope on the 5th ballot.It would have been the first ballot were it not for his steroid use in the 90's

- John Karalis (@RedsArmy_John) March 13, 2013
2013-03-13 03:19:51 PM
3 votes:

6655321: I_C_Weener: Summoner101: This headline is not infantile enough for the depths Fark sinks to.

/C'mon, "Ok, Pope is coming out."
//Comedy gold, Jerry!

I was late.  New Pope selected.  Classic Pope still better tasting.

I prefer Pope Zero


Bring back Crystal Popesi!
2013-03-13 03:19:35 PM
3 votes:

uncleacid: Can we be Frank?


don3k.nocorvair.com
2013-03-13 03:18:14 PM
3 votes:
24.media.tumblr.com
Pope Rico I: Strong for God, strong on bugs.
2013-03-13 03:16:42 PM
3 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: They're not going to lower him from the rafters, are they?

Then we'll have to go through this all again.


It's AFTER he's gone, THEN they raise his hat into the rafters of St. Peter's; with his jersey number on the hat
2013-03-13 03:14:49 PM
3 votes:
Lighten up, Francis.
2013-03-13 03:11:07 PM
3 votes:
It just feels weird with no Dick Clark there.
2013-03-13 03:10:20 PM
3 votes:

deadsanta: Seriously wtf, pick your pope-name and come out already, I'm sick of winter!


You can't tell me that Cardinals don't stay up late at night, laying in bed, dreaming up their possible Pope names.
2013-03-13 03:07:26 PM
3 votes:
zicoydelia.files.wordpress.com
2013-03-13 03:05:13 PM
3 votes:
3.bp.blogspot.com
2013-03-13 02:52:16 PM
3 votes:
i492.photobucket.com
2013-03-13 02:52:05 PM
3 votes:

JohnnyApocalypse: ... what's a pope?


He's an old guy in a funny hat who condones child molestation and dispises contraception, but that's not important right now.
jbc [TotalFark]
2013-03-13 02:49:40 PM
3 votes:

Summoner101: This headline is not infantile enough for the depths Fark sinks to.


"Where there's smoke, there's friar?"
2013-03-13 02:49:39 PM
3 votes:

Endive Wombat: what is the purpose of this marching band stuff?


To get the crowd pumped up before the new Pope runs through a banner onto St. Peter's Square.
2013-03-13 02:48:11 PM
3 votes:
I'd love to see him come out with "So ya, thought ya, might like to come to the show/To feel the warm thrill of confusion, that space cadet glow..."
2013-03-13 02:46:35 PM
3 votes:
If Tebow comes out on that balcony I'm getting you all drunk.
2013-03-13 02:46:24 PM
3 votes:
Papa.

Oscar.

Papa.

Echo.


POPE

/BAH GAWD KING HE'S COMING THROUGH THE CROWD
2013-03-13 02:43:14 PM
3 votes:
The CNN.com guy left his mic on.  Got to hear the production manager talking with someone named Emma about how "the last announcement with Ratzinger was in Latin, so it's important that someone knows it."
2013-03-13 02:41:51 PM
3 votes:

WinoRhino: I expected the Pope's music to be more... regal and less "Hurry, hurry hurrrry! Step right up and ride the tilt-a-whirl!"


I was hoping they'd play the Imperial March,
2013-03-13 02:40:56 PM
3 votes:
surprised NBC isn't showing this on tape delay in primetime with commercials
2013-03-13 02:38:37 PM
3 votes:
christwire.org
/habeo nullum
2013-03-13 02:37:13 PM
3 votes:
i171.photobucket.com

Yes, yes!  fark you, too!
2013-03-13 02:37:10 PM
3 votes:
Can you imagine the coronary Limbaugh will have if the Pope is black?
2013-03-13 02:36:43 PM
3 votes:

As a very confused but enthusiastic American once wrote on a sign for a papal celebration in Mexico City:


VIVA LA PAPA! VIVA LA PAPA! VIVA LA PAPA!


/white smoke must mean deep fat fried potatoes
2013-03-13 02:36:16 PM
3 votes:
Worst. Halftime. Show. Ever.
2013-03-13 02:35:32 PM
3 votes:
daps.tv

Dim the lights, here...we...GO.
2013-03-13 02:34:08 PM
3 votes:

Max Awesome: I hope it's a dolphin pope.

/really want a dolphin pope.


goodbye and thanks for all the jesus fish
2013-03-13 02:30:08 PM
3 votes:

NeoCortex42: That was a much quicker decision than I expected.  I figured we'd be going another day or two.


well it's either that or the Sistine chapel is on fire


Though given the state the church is in right ow, I'm pretty sure the New pope is the guy who said "not it" slowest
2013-03-13 02:28:53 PM
3 votes:
I really really really hope Cardinal Onarope gets the most votes....
2013-03-13 02:27:01 PM
3 votes:

allegedman: QUICK SOMEBODY STAMPEDE CATTLE THROUGH THE VATICAN


www.johnlocke.org
Kinky...
2013-03-13 02:25:33 PM
3 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-03-13 02:25:24 PM
3 votes:
media-cache-ec2.pinterest.com
2013-03-13 02:21:39 PM
3 votes:
www.hamms-hat.com
2013-03-13 02:21:11 PM
3 votes:
*ding* You've got a Pope
2013-03-13 02:19:19 PM
3 votes:
First Jewish Pope?
2013-03-13 02:19:08 PM
3 votes:

allegedman: QUICK SOMEBODY STAMPEDE CATTLE THROUGH THE VATICAN


Kinky . . .
2013-03-13 02:18:21 PM
3 votes:

ranold: Will the new pope come out and see its shadow or not?


Thousands are waiting there to get their new iPope.
2013-03-13 02:17:42 PM
3 votes:
LaRussa coming back? Good deal.
2013-03-13 02:17:02 PM
3 votes:
Thanks Obama
2013-03-13 02:15:29 PM
3 votes:
I hope this one has horns.
2013-03-13 02:15:16 PM
3 votes:
Is it Dennis Rodman?
2013-03-13 09:47:15 PM
2 votes:

Captain Steroid: Lt. Cheese Weasel: Ya'll are so stupid. There is no god, no muhammed, no buddah, no chtuhul.  There is only Zuul.

Silly Weasel! That's not how you spell Twilight Sparkle! :-)


derpicdn.net

All hail Her Holiness, Pope Twilight of Ponyville!
2013-03-13 09:41:22 PM
2 votes:

Lt. Cheese Weasel: Ya'll are so stupid. There is no god, no muhammed, no buddah, no chtuhul.  There is only Zuul.


Silly Weasel! That's not how you spell Twilight Sparkle! :-)
2013-03-13 09:19:10 PM
2 votes:

vrax: [i45.tinypic.com image 517x648]


That was my thought too, but I went a little more theological than the ol' Bred and Jam (Loves and Fishes for Francis?)
No,
I've gone with the new edition 'Vatican for Francis'

fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net
2013-03-13 07:35:52 PM
2 votes:

indylaw: All those hoping for a Templar pope will have to wait.


I've waited enough turns since the last crusade.  Templar pope or not, I am still going to ask for another.  Owning Jerusalem is one of my victory conditions.
2013-03-13 06:53:08 PM
2 votes:

Paris1127: And now, a tribute to the last two popes, in the form of Photoshopped images:
[poperesigns.net image 600x279]
[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x299]


I'm more partial to this one of Benedict:

i.imgur.com

/chose Francis as my Confirmation name in High School
//think that gets me perks in the Vatican now?
///slashies come in threes
2013-03-13 06:39:58 PM
2 votes:
And all the other Cardinals are saying "Haha! You're it!"
2013-03-13 06:06:00 PM
2 votes:
Conservapedia proven right again!

i.imgur.com
2013-03-13 05:55:35 PM
2 votes:
Adieu, Pope Palpatine, hello, Pope Giuliani:

cdn.historycommons.orgmsnbcmedia.msn.com

/...or is it Pope Rudy IXII?
2013-03-13 05:24:19 PM
2 votes:

cptjeff: Great Porn Dragon: cptjeff: downstairs: This text is now purple: Grand_Moff_Joseph: Wow, a guy with a Chemistry degree!  Might we get some respect for science????

Catholics aren't evangelicals.  The Big Bang came from a Catholic priest.

I can attest to this.  Went to Catholic church from birth through 9th grade.  Went to CCD as well.  Evolution was never mentioned.  Heck, I know my dad- a hard-core Irish Catholic- taught us evolution.

They had some issues with Copernicus and Galileo, but they got over it, and these days, the Catholic Church is pretty science friendly, and they have their own observatory- which, since they're not relying on year to year grants with pressure to show results, allows them to do a lot of research on multiple decade timescales that most astronomers can't. Catholics aren't the ones who bang on the "god buried dinosaur bones to test us" drum.

And interestingly, Dr. Robert Bakker (who not only was pretty much the first guy to come around to the modern image of dinosaurs as homeothermic, feathery beasties (who still live with us as birds) but is also a pastor and has a theological degree that isn't from a dominionist ordination mill) actually has a very nice essay called The Pope's Velociraptor...and the KKK (noting that the Catholics--especially Jesuits--were funding a LOT of paleontology research and doing it themselves, whilst a lot of the Young-Earth-Creationist stuff was originally promoted by racist Protestants in the US).

Why can't more academic papers have titles like that? I'm currently working my way through the latest issue of the Journal of Democracy, with such barn burning titles as, "Regime Types and Democratic Sequencing" and, "Controlling Corruption Through Collective Action".


My thesis was originally "The Nine Billion Names of Donner."

\had to change it
2013-03-13 05:06:37 PM
2 votes:
l2.yimg.com

¡Viven de largo Papa Francisco, una vez y futuro campeón de Católicos! ¡La muerte rápida de mayo acontece a los herejes! ¡Todos granizan Papa Francisco, rey de los Argentinos!
2013-03-13 05:00:26 PM
2 votes:

chubby muppet: How do you get a nun pregnant?  Dress her up as an altar boy.
[img.photobucket.com image 214x299]
/Dressed up for the occasion


The alternate version of the joke presented on Jackie's Joke Hunt was "How do you get a nun pregnant? Get an altar boy to shiat in her coont."

i6.photobucket.com
2013-03-13 04:50:22 PM
2 votes:

Holfax: Has he announced who his vice-Pope will be?

//not Catholic


I don't know, someone with a kickass 1981 Audi Quattro he can wash in the Vatican driveway?

img-cache.cdn.gaiaonline.com
2013-03-13 04:38:13 PM
2 votes:
Episode XVI: A New Pope
2013-03-13 04:32:53 PM
2 votes:
media.heavy.com

Approves

/me, that is
2013-03-13 04:16:56 PM
2 votes:
Guys, we all know who Fark would pick for pope if WE had been given the vote...

bbsimg.ngfiles.com
2013-03-13 04:12:31 PM
2 votes:
Pope Frances, huh? I guess nobody'll put baby in a corner now!
www.flix66.com
2013-03-13 04:00:57 PM
2 votes:

give me doughnuts: He also kidnapped a coulple of other jesuit priests back in 1976. Probably raped and killd them just like Glen Beck did that girl in 1990.


I heard he provided Beck the car he was using when he raped and killed a girl in 1990, and then Pope Francis got in touch with his American Jesuit Bishop friends who then helped to cover up the rape and murder that Glen Beck did back in 1990.
2013-03-13 03:59:12 PM
2 votes:
i939.photobucket.com
2013-03-13 03:43:14 PM
2 votes:
I wonder if when he came out, the sound system was playing "Pope! There He Is" by Tag Team...
2013-03-13 03:37:07 PM
2 votes:

onzmadi: elchip: Wasn't Looking at his Neck: Uh, isn't Jorge a version of Peter?....

No, that's "Pedro."  Jorge is George.

So we've had John Paul, Jorge and Ratzingo?


I think something they all can agree on is hating Yoko Ono.
2013-03-13 03:36:37 PM
2 votes:
how long before Pope Francis asks the Queen of England to give the Falklands back to Argentina?
2013-03-13 03:33:30 PM
2 votes:
THIS IS THE GREATEST NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF OUR RELIGION!

i6.photobucket.com
2013-03-13 03:33:06 PM
2 votes:
Hey has anyone posted this yet?

www.morethings.com
2013-03-13 03:32:32 PM
2 votes:
Pope Francis
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
2013-03-13 03:31:11 PM
2 votes:
"Thank you very much for electing me Pope.  With that being said..."

i.imgur.com

"Amen."
2013-03-13 03:29:54 PM
2 votes:
i.imgur.com

...FAIL...
2013-03-13 03:29:26 PM
2 votes:
media.comicvine.com
2013-03-13 03:29:00 PM
2 votes:
You know what would be hilarious?  He has a heart attack from this whole thing and keels over.
2013-03-13 03:28:41 PM
2 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: Ave Maria?

So, what, he's singing now?


"We saw your boobs, we saw your boobs...."
2013-03-13 03:27:46 PM
2 votes:
I half-expected it to be James Franco.
2013-03-13 03:25:46 PM
2 votes:
moss covered three handled papal gredunza
2013-03-13 03:25:37 PM
2 votes:

WinoRhino: I expected the Pope's music to be more... regal and less "Hurry, hurry hurrrry! Step right up and ride the tilt-a-whirl!"


They play on a calliopope?
Ant
2013-03-13 03:24:35 PM
2 votes:

Cyberluddite: It must be pretty cool to be able to suddenly become infallable just because a bunch of old, mostly white, allegedly-celibate dudes wearing red dresses vote that you are. Too bad we can't elect presidents that way.


His infallibility super powers aren't enabled all the time. He has to invoke them when they're needed. You know, like He-Man had to do the whole "By the power of Greyskull!" thing.
2013-03-13 03:24:18 PM
2 votes:
img204.imageshack.us
2013-03-13 03:22:33 PM
2 votes:

Car_Ramrod: bdub77: [www.catapulta.com.ar image 253x350]

Basically, the dad from Arrested Development.

He looks like Christopher Lloyd.


The Libyans are NOT gonna be happy.
2013-03-13 03:21:53 PM
2 votes:
i45.tinypic.com
2013-03-13 03:21:32 PM
2 votes:

Car_Ramrod: Thank god they got away from that Hitler youth guy, and picked someone from Argentina.

Wait a minute...


OK. that was good.
2013-03-13 03:20:54 PM
2 votes:
Hip hip. Jorge!
2013-03-13 03:20:51 PM
2 votes:
if he comes to the states I wanna see this f*cker's green card. Damn mexicans are everywhere.
2013-03-13 03:20:29 PM
2 votes:

Donnchadha: PsyLord: Grand_Moff_Joseph: Argentina wins!

Gooooooooaaaaaaaallllll!

Clearly this vote was due to the Hand of God


The crowd should welcome the new Pope in this manner:

www.theoffside.com
2013-03-13 03:20:29 PM
2 votes:
Nobody tells me to 'lighten up'...

i309.photobucket.com

I'm da POPE!
2013-03-13 03:20:00 PM
2 votes:
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
First order of business, put some new rims on the Popemobile and make it a lowrider.
jbc [TotalFark]
2013-03-13 03:18:03 PM
2 votes:
www.morethings.com
2013-03-13 03:17:01 PM
2 votes:
Oh great, that means the Argies are going to get all uppity about the Falklands again because now they're gonna think they have god on their side.
2013-03-13 03:15:54 PM
2 votes:

GAT_00: Holy shiat, from Buenos Aires.


Does this mean God is going to war against the Arachnids?
2013-03-13 03:15:37 PM
2 votes:
Shouldn't the Padres have been picking the new Pope?
2013-03-13 03:14:50 PM
2 votes:
media.tumblr.com

Looks like a good choice to me.
2013-03-13 03:13:58 PM
2 votes:
This is a worse debut than the shockmaster
2013-03-13 03:13:37 PM
2 votes:
The prophecy of Malachy are coming to fruition Look for meteors to hit Rome this summer
2013-03-13 03:12:36 PM
2 votes:
i.imgur.com

WHO THE FARK IS THAT
2013-03-13 03:11:30 PM
2 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-03-13 03:09:42 PM
2 votes:
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
2013-03-13 03:08:59 PM
2 votes:

durbnpoisn: Good.  Can we just get over this already?

Speaking as a non-Catholic, I find it completely absurd that the news media is portraying this as some sort of gigantic event for all of humanity.  My coffee will still taste the same tomorrow...  In other words, it means less than nothing to me.


Speaking as an atheist, it's a pretty big deal to 1.2 Billion humans.  What are you some kind of fruity "Jesus Rock" new aged brand of evangelical with an inferiority complex about Catholicism like most other American Christians?  You seem petty and small.
2013-03-13 03:08:36 PM
2 votes:

deadsanta: Seriously wtf, pick your pope-name and come out already, I'm sick of winter!


They're probably trying to convince the new pope that now is the WORST time to pick "Peter" as your pope name.
2013-03-13 03:07:39 PM
2 votes:
He's peeking out! He's turtlin'!
2013-03-13 03:07:29 PM
2 votes:

GAT_00: Announcement imminent.


prepare for rapture!  rapture in 5 minutes!  alpha teams to start position. Alpha teams to start position.  rapture in 5 minutes!
2013-03-13 03:02:49 PM
2 votes:

Rann Xerox: bdub77: My money is on Scherer.

My money is on Ratzinger walking onto the balcony and saying: "Fooled you guys!"


BAH GAWD KING, THATS RATZINGERS MUSIC!  DAMN HIM.
2013-03-13 02:59:26 PM
2 votes:
i.qkme.me
2013-03-13 02:57:26 PM
2 votes:
content8.flixster.com
2013-03-13 02:56:52 PM
2 votes:
POPE BEAN!!

www.dumpaday.com
2013-03-13 02:56:21 PM
2 votes:

Stephen_Falken: Right, so I'm watching this video online from the Vatican. Who is "Feline Papa"?


Ceiling Cat
2013-03-13 02:55:11 PM
2 votes:

FizixJunkee: DaJesus: MNguy: Non-practicing Catholic here.  Chance of black Pope = <0%  Latin = 3%  Old white guy = 96.7%

Really? Because Cardinal Peter Turkson has been given 6/1 odds. 3rd best odds.
Source

Wasn't that African cardinal a forerunner the last time?


The Vatican has to abide by the Rooney Rule.
2013-03-13 02:53:01 PM
2 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com
2013-03-13 02:51:31 PM
2 votes:

nekom: Is it just me or did that smoke look most definitely black at first, then turn white?


I was going to make a joke about cremating Michael Jackson, but couldn't decide if that went beyond even Fark's boundaries.
2013-03-13 02:51:11 PM
2 votes:
If THIS would happen.....it would be AWESOME!

lamarzulli.files.wordpress.com
2013-03-13 02:51:10 PM
2 votes:
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

Pope?  With sweat and young mans balls?

They could at least have gotten Darmok and Jalad to do the pre game music.

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
2013-03-13 02:50:59 PM
2 votes:
I would love to see the black cardinal walk out. Their collective faces would look like the townsfolk did when Sheriff Bart rode up on Rock Ridge.
2013-03-13 02:49:43 PM
2 votes:
i171.photobucket.com

All hail Pope Hilarius the Second!
2013-03-13 02:49:04 PM
2 votes:
Word is in: Frank Zappa IS the new Pope. The official anthem will be Illinois Enema Bandit!

time to eat some crackers and drink some wine
2013-03-13 02:49:01 PM
2 votes:
"The new Pope is-"

*START STATIC*
2013-03-13 02:45:57 PM
2 votes:

Weaver95: Petey4335: Weaver95: August11: What the hell is taking him so long? Put on the gown and get on the balcony! Sheesh.

they had to put the mind control parasite on first.

So, we're going to get a 15 year rein of this pope, he's going to die by the hands of G'kar and Vir will be the next pope?

pretty much, yeah.


He has to write an acceptance speech. Difficulty: in Aramaic.
2013-03-13 02:45:46 PM
2 votes:
PSA:

"The Borgias" Season 3 starts on Showtime on April 14th.
2013-03-13 02:45:30 PM
2 votes:

GAT_00: robsul82: The CNN.com guy left his mic on.  Got to hear the production manager talking with someone named Emma about how "the last announcement with Ratzinger was in Latin, so it's important that someone knows it."

The Beeb covered that 10 minutes ago, about how they need to be quick on the translation.


On it.

media.tumblr.com
2013-03-13 02:44:14 PM
2 votes:
If the band takes requests, I'd like to hear The Final Countdown
2013-03-13 02:44:01 PM
2 votes:
C'MOOOOON BLACK GUY!
2013-03-13 02:42:36 PM
2 votes:
You know, watching this, they could use a big crystal ball dropping and have the crowd chanting 10...9...8...7...
2013-03-13 02:41:27 PM
2 votes:
How long till we find out? I NEED TO KNOW IF WE HAVE A BLOPE.
2013-03-13 02:40:33 PM
2 votes:
The dark horse candidate:

theblacksphere.net
2013-03-13 02:40:02 PM
2 votes:
Man, with that much white smoke, those Cardinals are going to have some serious munchies.
2013-03-13 02:39:41 PM
2 votes:
Are we sure the new Pope isn't just Ronaiah Tuiasosopo?
- Will McAvoy (@WillMcAvoyACN) March 13, 2013
2013-03-13 02:39:29 PM
2 votes:
Actually is Pope Dolan?

i48.tinypic.com
2013-03-13 02:38:44 PM
2 votes:

Weaver95: August11: What the hell is taking him so long? Put on the gown and get on the balcony! Sheesh.

they had to put the mind control parasite on first.


So, we're going to get a 15 year rein of this pope, he's going to die by the hands of G'kar and Vir will be the next pope?
2013-03-13 02:36:49 PM
2 votes:

neritz: MNguy: henryhill: neritz: netgamer7k: [i.imgur.com image 250x135]

Please be a black pope!!!

This.

Latin American

Acceptable, but the butt hurt will be much greater with a black one.


True, but the extra butthurt will only affect altar boys.
2013-03-13 02:35:57 PM
2 votes:
I hope he remembers that I asked for an iPhone for Christmas.
All he gave me last year was a molestation and an apology.
2013-03-13 02:35:32 PM
2 votes:
It's Pope Cthulhu!
2013-03-13 02:35:21 PM
2 votes:
I expected the Pope's music to be more... regal and less "Hurry, hurry hurrrry! Step right up and ride the tilt-a-whirl!"
2013-03-13 02:35:07 PM
2 votes:
Welcome to...POPE....IS.....JERICHO!!!!!
2013-03-13 02:34:00 PM
2 votes:
Here comes the fight song
2013-03-13 02:33:56 PM
2 votes:

August11: What the hell is taking him so long? Put on the gown and get on the balcony! Sheesh.


they had to put the mind control parasite on first.
2013-03-13 02:32:07 PM
2 votes:
Pope and change.  Thanks Fartbongo

/
2013-03-13 02:31:17 PM
2 votes:
So, if the pope weighs the same as a duck; he's made of wood?
2013-03-13 02:31:07 PM
2 votes:
i221.photobucket.com

Yankee Bishops frown upon the Cardinals shenaggengins
2013-03-13 02:30:45 PM
2 votes:
I hope it's a dolphin pope.

/really want a dolphin pope.
2013-03-13 02:30:12 PM
2 votes:
i36.photobucket.com
You are now reading this thread in Gilbert Gottfried's voice
2013-03-13 02:29:07 PM
2 votes:

TheOther: Wouldn't that be Peter?


I thought it was Paul. Peter was with Mary when they wrote 'Pope the Magic Dragon'
2013-03-13 02:28:59 PM
2 votes:
The pope is a *DANG*


img14.imageshack.us
2013-03-13 02:27:20 PM
2 votes:
media.screened.com

Dude, he saved Vatican City with a helicopter!  What's not to like!
2013-03-13 02:27:00 PM
2 votes:

VvonderJesus: Karl Rove insisting it's still too early to call


HAHAHAHA!
2013-03-13 02:26:42 PM
2 votes:
I don't care who the new pope is, so long as he chooses Lando II as his papal name.
2013-03-13 02:25:59 PM
2 votes:
A second pope has hit the world tra...Oh, f*ck it.

Maybe they elected Berlusconi.
2013-03-13 02:25:25 PM
2 votes:
Did the Galgamex get to vote on this pope?

ct.fra.bz
2013-03-13 02:22:36 PM
2 votes:

Adjective Bird Whiskey: I hope this one has horns.


I'll be happy as long as he has 10 fingers and 10 toes.

Oh, and is a Nazi pedophile, but that goes without saying.
2013-03-13 02:21:50 PM
2 votes:
upload.wikimedia.org

Not impressed.
2013-03-13 02:20:52 PM
2 votes:
I was surprised that they went with a Buddhist.
2013-03-13 02:19:59 PM
2 votes:
I wanted the seagull to still be standing on the chimney when the smoke rose, ideally getting startled by it, and pooping in front of millions
2013-03-13 02:19:40 PM
2 votes:

I_C_Weener: Summoner101: This headline is not infantile enough for the depths Fark sinks to.

/C'mon, "Ok, Pope is coming out."
//Comedy gold, Jerry!

I was late.  New Pope selected.  Classic Pope still better tasting.


The good news is that the classic Pope will be available along side the new Pope on your Vatican shelves once they are finished changing around the display.

/hopefully they had the good sense to pick someone under 60 this time
2013-03-13 02:18:16 PM
2 votes:
media.riffraf.net
Doesn't seem very Popeish to me.....
2013-03-13 02:17:48 PM
2 votes:
Good.  Can we just get over this already?

Speaking as a non-Catholic, I find it completely absurd that the news media is portraying this as some sort of gigantic event for all of humanity.  My coffee will still taste the same tomorrow...  In other words, it means less than nothing to me.
2013-03-13 02:17:17 PM
2 votes:
deprofundisclamaviadtedomine.files.wordpress.com
2013-03-13 02:16:43 PM
2 votes:
The white smoke is really from the celebratory bong hits for coming to a decision.
2013-03-13 02:16:30 PM
2 votes:

KingKauff: Great headline, subby.


Did you submit this?
2013-03-13 02:16:21 PM
2 votes:
The Antichrist rises
2013-03-13 02:15:35 PM
2 votes:
Great headline, subby.
2013-03-13 02:15:25 PM
2 votes:
Is it just me or did that smoke look most definitely black at first, then turn white?  Or maybe it's just because it's dark there.

POPE THREAD!!!1
2013-03-13 02:14:46 PM
2 votes:
Yes.  THIS one is good.
2013-03-13 10:53:19 PM
1 votes:
Just wait until Francis gives his first Easter Mass. Out of nowhere...
i107.photobucket.com
2013-03-13 10:09:01 PM
1 votes:

Tillmaster: He's from Argentina? Not another German pope!


Habemus pampas?
2013-03-13 09:40:04 PM
1 votes:

TheManofPA: Igor Jakovsky: Im glad to see that this thread was full of actual discussion, memes, and a limited amount of derp.  I'll be interested to see if this Pope starts some reforms, starting with the contraception BS.

/Catholic, though not really churchgoing anymore
//confirmation name was Thomas, as in Becket.  My 8th grade self thought he was kind of a badass, giving King Henry shiat.

What's sad is I can't think your first name as anything but Igor after all these threads.


Many lulz.  Ive got you favorited, as are some others in this thread as well.  Makes it more fun. You are The Man...of PA

/Also the guy playing Samson in the History Channel's Bible should be Mark Henry.
2013-03-13 09:12:17 PM
1 votes:
After a cursory glance, I somehow viewed this as "candidate hire new manager". Now, not only is this grammatically incorrect, it's also confusing. Upon re-reading it, I understood it for what it was, finding my own potentially unfolding CSB more interesting than the "news" itself.

/no, not stoned-

//that is all

///DNRTFA

////end of questionable CSB
2013-03-13 09:01:23 PM
1 votes:

Igor Jakovsky: Im glad to see that this thread was full of actual discussion, memes, and a limited amount of derp.  I'll be interested to see if this Pope starts some reforms, starting with the contraception BS.

/Catholic, though not really churchgoing anymore
//confirmation name was Thomas, as in Becket.  My 8th grade self thought he was kind of a badass, giving King Henry shiat.


What's sad is I can't think your first name as anything but Igor after all these threads.
2013-03-13 08:52:34 PM
1 votes:
Congratulations to the new Holy Si!
2013-03-13 08:40:40 PM
1 votes:
Ya'll are so stupid. There is no god, no muhammed, no buddah, no chtuhul.  There is only Zuul.
2013-03-13 08:30:38 PM
1 votes:
Im glad to see that this thread was full of actual discussion, memes, and a limited amount of derp.  I'll be interested to see if this Pope starts some reforms, starting with the contraception BS.

/Catholic, though not really churchgoing anymore
//confirmation name was Thomas, as in Becket.  My 8th grade self thought he was kind of a badass, giving King Henry shiat.
2013-03-13 08:12:41 PM
1 votes:

TheOther: How long till this one quits?


When the world ends, from what I hear.
2013-03-13 07:22:58 PM
1 votes:
farm9.staticflickr.com

Has anyone referenced that movie where the army guy yelled at someone named Francis yet?
2013-03-13 07:07:49 PM
1 votes:
I really though they were going to pick me this time.
2013-03-13 07:02:41 PM
1 votes:
What's strange is that they let the Padres pick him.
2013-03-13 06:25:07 PM
1 votes:
fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net
Pope Jim I
2013-03-13 06:07:00 PM
1 votes:

MikeBoomshadow: Supes: Habemus Papam!

In celebrationam, habeamus pasta.


CENTURION:  "Pasta" is the direct object, boy, so you must use the....
2013-03-13 06:01:24 PM
1 votes:

Paris1127: And now, a tribute to the last two popes, in the form of Photoshopped images:
[poperesigns.net image 600x279]
[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x299]


I recognize that casting couch.
2013-03-13 05:57:51 PM
1 votes:
i.imgur.com i.imgur.com i.imgur.com i.imgur.com i.imgur.com
2013-03-13 05:54:34 PM
1 votes:

xanadian: I hear their sex ed courses are cutting-edge, too.




upload.wikimedia.org

R.I.P CATHOLIC GIRLS

2013-03-13 05:52:08 PM
1 votes:

Tommy Moo: choose between having six kids or living their entire lives without sex


False choice is false.
My wife and I have gone 22 years without her getting pregnant without using birth control, neither having 6 kids (only 1) nor living without sex. My wife couldn't take the pill and I'm allergic to latex. The rhythm method actually works, and is approved by the catholic church.
2013-03-13 05:44:01 PM
1 votes:

IC Stars: cptjeff: There are no rules. The pope has the power to change the rules from the moment the ballots are counted if there are. Popes have gone by their given names before, it's entirely up to them. The only name that's off limits is Peter, and I don't think that even that is a formal rule.

Uh Oh, I chose Peter for my confirmation name.

Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?


I was talking about pope names, dumbass. Confirmation names are a different ball of wax.
2013-03-13 05:38:54 PM
1 votes:
The Pope's first tweet was "HABEMUS PAPAM FRANCISCUM"

So...THAT'S the way it's going to be is it?
2013-03-13 05:37:45 PM
1 votes:
soonerpsycho.com
2013-03-13 05:22:52 PM
1 votes:

Buchholz96: Thanks NeoCortex42 and ElChip for clarifying.

So you mean to tell me he could be Pope Ron Mexico 2nd if he just liked the name? Or does the clergy have to approve?


Yea, it could be whatever they want. Nobody else has to aprove.

There was talk of changing the rules after Pope Enfresh the 1st, but nobody could really get all that mad at him considering how he giggled when you poked him
2013-03-13 05:19:11 PM
1 votes:
Thanks NeoCortex42 and ElChip for clarifying.

So you mean to tell me he could be Pope Ron Mexico 2nd if he just liked the name? Or does the clergy have to approve?
2013-03-13 05:06:07 PM
1 votes:
And now, a tribute to the last two popes, in the form of Photoshopped images:
poperesigns.net
25.media.tumblr.com
2013-03-13 05:03:29 PM
1 votes:
He looks kinda like Yogi Berra to me. Nobody will go to his installation, it'll be too crowded.
2013-03-13 04:58:07 PM
1 votes:
A masters in Chemistry.  Interesting.
media.campustimes.org
2013-03-13 04:51:24 PM
1 votes:

Polish Hussar: js34603: Well I'm sure glad they picked someone I can continue to completely ignore while I eat meat on Fridays and have sex with my Protestant wife.

Why not take the last step and convert to Protestantism?  I would recommend the Episcopalians, my personal denomination.  Our prayers and services are fairly similar to the Catholic Church's, but we can eat whatever we want, whenever we want, use contraception, and we're cool with the gays.


v026o.popscreen.com
2013-03-13 04:46:39 PM
1 votes:
The real story is this selection means the Vatican has officially recognized the discovery of the New World - that's quite a leap for that crew.
2013-03-13 04:44:24 PM
1 votes:
A Jesuit pope? Now there is FINALLY a glimmer of hope for the Vatican Basketball team. It will take a few years, but expect them to make the Final Four at some point.
2013-03-13 04:42:48 PM
1 votes:
www.bartcop.com
2013-03-13 04:41:14 PM
1 votes:
It's too bad that Pope Francis doesn't know how to fly, otherwise he could be a pontiff pilot.
2013-03-13 04:40:41 PM
1 votes:

scottydoesntknow: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x478]


Scott: Cooper, the hat! The hat! The hat is on fire!
Cooper: [singing] Oh we don't need no water, let the mother-...
Scott: I'm not kidding! Look!
2013-03-13 04:37:55 PM
1 votes:
a1.ec-images.myspacecdn.com
First he's governor of Port Royal, now he's Pope, in ten years he's gonna be president of earth!!!!
2013-03-13 04:28:03 PM
1 votes:

Caffandtranqs: FTFA:   "Pope Francis I: Argentina's Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio is new Catholic leader"
             "The 76-year-old - the first Jesuit, the first South American and the first non-European pope of the modern era..."

His last name is Italian, so I'm guessing he is Italian-Argentinian.  Lame.  I was pulling for a Canadian pope.  Why does Canada get left out of everything?


You can blame that hockey hullaballoo.

/and that biatch Anne Murray too
2013-03-13 04:23:15 PM
1 votes:
24.media.tumblr.com
2013-03-13 04:15:47 PM
1 votes:

Shadow writer: Pope Frances, huh? I guess nobody'll put baby in a corner now!
[www.flix66.com image 500x280]


images3.wikia.nocookie.net
2013-03-13 04:11:19 PM
1 votes:

robsul82: Pope Francisco is his name!


i259.photobucket.com

I expect this image macro to get a LOT of use now, every time this guy opens his mouth and something stupid WILL come tumbling out of it.
2013-03-13 04:10:15 PM
1 votes:
I wonder if he doodled his possible pope names on his book covers in school?

cdn.blogs.babble.com
2013-03-13 04:09:35 PM
1 votes:
Well I'm sure glad they picked someone I can continue to completely ignore while I eat meat on Fridays and have sex with my Protestant wife.
2013-03-13 04:09:09 PM
1 votes:

unlikely: ShawnDoc: I just hope this one isn't linked to child rape, or helping his diocese covering up child rape.

Certainly being a Jesuit and taking the name of Francis is something to be hopeful about, and maybe signals the Church bureaucracy is actually ready for some real change, rather than just paying it lip service.

"he strongly opposed legislation introduced in 2010 by the Argentine Government to allow same-sex marriage, calling it a "real and dire anthropological throwback".[11] In a letter to the monasteries of Buenos Aires, he wrote: "Let's not be naive, we're not talking about a simple political battle; it is a destructive pretension against the plan of God. We are not talking about a mere bill, but rather a machination of the Father of Lies that seeks to confuse and deceive the children of God."[12] He has also insisted that adoption by gay and lesbian people is a form of discrimination against children. "


The US government can't even acknowledge same-sex marriage, you can't expect the Catholic Church to be ahead of them on that. Or anything.
2013-03-13 04:06:39 PM
1 votes:
Meanwhile, Furcal is out for the season.
2013-03-13 04:04:20 PM
1 votes:

tlars699: Car_Ramrod: NeoCortex42: CapeFearCadaver: Ok, does anyone know what this guy is like? Google is only giving stuff from the past 15 minutes...

Takes the bus to work, doesn't seem to get into all the flashy bits of the office.  He has a Masters in Chemistry, and focuses on getting out to the streets to help people and spread the word.

And still hates the gays.

Doesn't "hate" gays. Just follows his book, and says that you shouldn't allow them to get married/adopt kids/give equal standing to them legally, unless they pretend to be hetero.
He still says to respect their persons, and act all live-and-let-live around them, until they get 'uppity' about wanting to have families.


So... don't ask, don't tell?
2013-03-13 04:02:37 PM
1 votes:
classicmoviechat.com
2013-03-13 04:01:40 PM
1 votes:
Thanks Obama.
2013-03-13 03:59:37 PM
1 votes:
Wait until he goes into the office tomorrow and realizes that Benny 16 left an upper-decker in the papal shiatter his last day on the job.
2013-03-13 03:59:31 PM
1 votes:
Thread fails without...

farm4.staticflickr.com
2013-03-13 03:57:28 PM
1 votes:
give me doughnuts:
He also kidnapped a coulple of other jesuit priests back in 1976. Probably raped and killd them just like Glen Beck did that girl in 1990.

You have NO proof of this.  Now, I'll concede he's never denied it.  Which is fishy.  So maybe it did happen.  I don't know.
2013-03-13 03:51:37 PM
1 votes:
"It's a very curious thing: When bishops meet, he always wants to sit in the back rows. This sense of humility is very well seen in Rome," Rubin said.

Looks like he'll get along with American Catholics just fine.
2013-03-13 03:50:19 PM
1 votes:

Theory Of Null: Car_Ramrod: HAS ANYONE SEEN THE MOVIE "STRIPES"? THEY HAD A CHARACTER IN IT NAMED FRANCIS WHO DIDN'T LIKE BEING CALLED FRANCIS AND SOMEONE TOLD HIM TO LIGHTEN UP, THEN CALLED HIM FRANCIS! IT WAS HILARIOUS! I ONLY MENTION THIS BECAUSE THE NEW POPE'S NAME IS FRANCIS!

pee wee herman has his bike stolen by a guy named francis


DO YOU HAVE A SCREENCAP? YOU SHOULD POST IT! Ok I'm done.

Haoie: This is nothing like that Tom Hanks movie!


Pope vs the Volcano?
2013-03-13 03:48:56 PM
1 votes:
www.piccer.nl

/Amber Alert can also happen at night
//Breaking news
2013-03-13 03:46:07 PM
1 votes:

Stone Meadow: ExperianScaresCthulhu: Electing an Argentinian as the first Latin American is like electing a Rhodesian as the first African.

How so?


They're both elections. Duh.
2013-03-13 03:43:51 PM
1 votes:

OtherLittleGuy: FirstNationalBastard: Ave Maria?

So, what, he's singing now?


Ave Maria,
Gee it's good to see ya,
Gettin' ecstatic an'
Sorta dramatic an'
Doin' the Vatican Rag!
2013-03-13 03:42:56 PM
1 votes:

bongmiester: how long before Pope Francis asks the Queen of England to give the Falklands back to Argentina?


Yeah, I don't think the British Monarchy gives two shiats what the Catholics want.  They've got a bit of a history with each other.
2013-03-13 03:41:26 PM
1 votes:

bongmiester: he kind of looks like this bond villian

[www.empireonline.com image 370x370]



He looks like BenStein and Henry Kissinger had a love-child. He's the human equivalent of Droopy Dog.


Pope Droopy!
librako.files.wordpress.com
2013-03-13 03:41:07 PM
1 votes:

Stone Meadow: neritz: @jauntingjourno: the new pope is 76 and has one lung. #funfacts

/this might not last long

LOL...yeah. CSB: I was a Peace Corps Volunteer in Nairobi, Kenya when Pope Paul died and John Paul was elected. Fast forward a month or so and I was serving out in Western Province, when one day I caught a ride into the provincial capitol. There I saw newspapers with headlines talking about the "new" pope...John Paul. I thought, holy shiat, I know I'm out in the sticks, but selling month-old newspapers? Only when I noticed he was John Paul II, and bought a paper did I realize that JP had died after a month in office and we had JP2. /csb


John Paul II: The Pontiff Strikes Back
John Paul III: The Return of the Dead Guy
2013-03-13 03:41:07 PM
1 votes:

Wasn't Looking at his Neck: Uh, isn't Jorge a version of Peter?....


Jorge is the Spanish/Portugese equivalent of George meaning "farmer" or "earth-worker".

Peter the Roman, who will pasture his sheep in many tribulations, and when these things are finished, the city of seven hills will be destroyed, and the dreadful judge will judge his people. The End

There may be something else that hasn't come out yet that could tie the name Peter to him though
2013-03-13 03:39:44 PM
1 votes:

id10ts: A pederast Dude.
[www.jonathanrosenbaum.com image 475x268]
/hot like the fire creating a white smoke
//originally posted in another thread
///had to be said again
////and again and again and again and again


Does this guy shiat in the woods?
2013-03-13 03:39:19 PM
1 votes:
Haha, Anderson Cooper interviewing Columbian woman. "He looks more...human."
2013-03-13 03:38:00 PM
1 votes:
A pederast Dude.
www.jonathanrosenbaum.com
/hot like the fire creating a white smoke
//originally posted in another thread
///had to be said again
////and again and again and again and again
2013-03-13 03:36:58 PM
1 votes:

Ambivalence: Are you watching? I have never seen a more unadorned pope.


THIS hell he's not even wearing the usual pope hat
2013-03-13 03:36:17 PM
1 votes:
Great Porn Dragon:

(That and, well, animal welfare stuff--St. Francis was known for ministering to the local flocks and wildlife, and is the patron saint of All Critters Great And Small for that reason.  )

Ah, so that's why the show got those extra three seasons after Peter Davison's run on Doctor Who.
2013-03-13 03:35:20 PM
1 votes:

onzmadi: elchip: Wasn't Looking at his Neck: Uh, isn't Jorge a version of Peter?....

No, that's "Pedro."  Jorge is George.

So we've had John Paul, Jorge and Ratzingo?


You owe me a monitor for this.
2013-03-13 03:35:10 PM
1 votes:
When are the beads thrown to the girls?
2013-03-13 03:34:58 PM
1 votes:

GAT_00: You know what would be hilarious?  He has a heart attack from this whole thing and keels over.


Pope John Paul I just about did that.  Only made it 33 days.
2013-03-13 03:33:54 PM
1 votes:
www.johnnythefool.com
2013-03-13 03:33:30 PM
1 votes:

onzmadi: elchip: Wasn't Looking at his Neck: Uh, isn't Jorge a version of Peter?....

No, that's "Pedro."  Jorge is George.

So we've had John Paul, Jorge and Ratzingo?


Holy Beatles, batman!  Maybe they ARE bigger than Jesus!
2013-03-13 03:33:18 PM
1 votes:
Interesting that a Pope was elected from a Hemisphere that their organization once didnt think existed.
2013-03-13 03:32:38 PM
1 votes:

TNel: Why do we keep getting all these old popes!?


Because they're the most popeular.
2013-03-13 03:32:22 PM
1 votes:

Dynascape: "he is well remembered for his 2001 visit to a hospice, in which he washed and kissed the feet of twelve AIDS patients."


He forgot to kiss my ass.
2013-03-13 03:31:13 PM
1 votes:

ariseatex: If he says "Don't cry for me, Vatican City" in his first Papal address, I'm going back to Catholicism.


The truth is I never left you
All through my priesthood
And seminary
I kept my trousers
Don't keep your distance
2013-03-13 03:30:19 PM
1 votes:

TNel: Why do we keep getting all these old popes!?


Because you touch yourself at night?
2013-03-13 03:30:05 PM
1 votes:
I get an indulgence for this?  Cool!

/headed to the strip club
2013-03-13 03:30:03 PM
1 votes:

cptjeff: Seriously, for those without at least a Catholic background, choosing Francis as a name is a big farking deal. Very dedicated to helping the poor and oppressed, and members of Franciscan orders are incredibly nice people who generally don't give a shiat about the doctrinaire aspects. Very nice and humble people, and by choosing Francis as his name, well- that probably means he's going to be shifting the focus of the church a bit in a way that should make people happy.


have you seen  the castle that cocksucker is going to live in?  and all the pimp gear he's going to wear?  hypocrisy, thy name is pope.
2013-03-13 03:28:52 PM
1 votes:
2,000 years plus of electing popes and they choose another really old guy?

(the 9th oldest guy to be elected as Pope in the history of the church)

/damn, people editing Wikipedia update this stuff fast
2013-03-13 03:28:09 PM
1 votes:
www.freakingnews.com

/papal was a rolling stone
2013-03-13 03:28:00 PM
1 votes:
F*ckin' Wikipedia bastids:  He has served as theArchbishop of Buenos Aires since 1998. He was elevated to the cardinalate in 2001 after Morgan Freeman narrated the papal conclave.
2013-03-13 03:27:04 PM
1 votes:
This is bad news for Obama.
2013-03-13 03:26:26 PM
1 votes:
Ave Maria?

So, what, he's singing now?
2013-03-13 03:25:32 PM
1 votes:
cdn.wl.uproxx.com

NOW THE MEXICANS ARE STEALING THE EYE-TALIAN'S JERBS!!!!11
2013-03-13 03:25:23 PM
1 votes:
I'd like to thank the Academy. Argo sucked.
2013-03-13 03:24:39 PM
1 votes:
Pope Psycho I

i.imgur.com
2013-03-13 03:24:17 PM
1 votes:
Pope Francis, first ever Pope from outside of Europe.

Age 76!? We'll be doing this again soon I guess..

upload.wikimedia.org

On a serious note - why not get some theme music for the Pope Announcement?  Some ACDC , Thunderstruck maybe? Michael Buffer can read the announcement, etc?
2013-03-13 03:24:07 PM
1 votes:
Argentina has some good ties to Europe, at least. Isn't that where all the Nazis fled?
GBB
2013-03-13 03:23:38 PM
1 votes:
All hail, Pope Chainsaw!
t1.gstatic.com
2013-03-13 03:23:25 PM
1 votes:
YOU'RE A POPE


www.celebs101.com
2013-03-13 03:22:59 PM
1 votes:
Latinoooo HEAT!
Latinoooo HEAT!
2013-03-13 03:22:55 PM
1 votes:
i47.tinypic.com
2013-03-13 03:22:35 PM
1 votes:
wildeastfootball.net


HAND OF GOD!
2013-03-13 03:21:47 PM
1 votes:

henryhill: 5th ballot = some hack that will do business as usual.

run, altar boys, run


Imma stand my ground, thank you.
2013-03-13 03:21:23 PM
1 votes:

RminusQ: Hey, surprise surprise, he hates teh gheys:

He has affirmed church teaching on homosexuality, though he teaches the importance of respecting individuals who are gay. He strongly opposed legislation introduced in 2010 by the Argentine Government to allow same-sex marriage. In a letter to the monasteries of Buenos Aires, he wrote: "Let's not be naive, we're not talking about a simple political battle; it is a destructive pretension against the plan of God. We are not talking about a mere bill, but rather a machination of the Father of Lies that seeks to confuse and deceive the children of God." He has also insisted that adoption by gays and lesbians is a form of discrimination against children. This position received a rebuke from Argentine president Cristina Fernández de Kirchner, who said the church's tone was reminiscent of "medieval times and the Inquisition".[4]


Well, is the pope Catholic?

/runs
2013-03-13 03:20:20 PM
1 votes:
Seriously, for those without at least a Catholic background, choosing Francis as a name is a big farking deal. Very dedicated to helping the poor and oppressed, and members of Franciscan orders are incredibly nice people who generally don't give a shiat about the doctrinaire aspects. Very nice and humble people, and by choosing Francis as his name, well- that probably means he's going to be shifting the focus of the church a bit in a way that should make people happy.
2013-03-13 03:19:35 PM
1 votes:

GAT_00: A Jesuit Pope?


Hey, why not? It worked in History of the World, Part 1!
2013-03-13 03:19:35 PM
1 votes:
hip hip,  Jorge!
2013-03-13 03:19:11 PM
1 votes:
so what happens now?
2013-03-13 03:19:00 PM
1 votes:
They were waiting to see how well Messi played last night before they made their decision.
2013-03-13 03:18:36 PM
1 votes:
www.squirrelsandbirds.com
2013-03-13 03:17:44 PM
1 votes:
Big hitter, the Pope.
2013-03-13 03:17:34 PM
1 votes:
www.catapulta.com.ar

Basically, the dad from Arrested Development.
2013-03-13 03:17:26 PM
1 votes:
Jorge Mario Bergoglio.
Sounds like a typical bozo.

www.screeninsults.com
2013-03-13 03:17:07 PM
1 votes:
The pope is 76 years old?  Well, prepare for a new conclave later this year!
2013-03-13 03:16:40 PM
1 votes:
He's name isn't Peter AND he's not a Roman.
F*ck you St. Malachy, I want the world to end!
2013-03-13 03:16:36 PM
1 votes:
Yes! I had Argentina in the bracket!
2013-03-13 03:16:20 PM
1 votes:

Warthog: WhyteRaven74: Holy farking shiat, they elected a Jesuit....

They just said this on the Beeb, too.  Care to explain to us uneducated atheists why that's a big deal?


Jesuits think science is real.
2013-03-13 03:16:15 PM
1 votes:
oh corporate america is NOT gonna like this guy.
2013-03-13 03:15:58 PM
1 votes:
www.thefilmpilgrim.com

(Anglican here, incidentally. It just occurred to me that we recently appointed a new Archbishop of Canterbury and I can't even remember when that happened, let alone who got the job.)
2013-03-13 03:15:56 PM
1 votes:
If he says "Don't cry for me, Vatican City" in his first Papal address, I'm going back to Catholicism.
2013-03-13 03:15:39 PM
1 votes:
Maradona!
2013-03-13 03:15:18 PM
1 votes:
They elected a nerd as Pope. Nerds rule the world!
2013-03-13 03:14:45 PM
1 votes:
Pope No Homo the 1st.
2013-03-13 03:14:44 PM
1 votes:
A Jesuit? Man, those sermons are going to be long winded...
2013-03-13 03:14:34 PM
1 votes:
This is the thread that does not end
Yes it goes on and on my friends
Then the smoke it started flowing
And the Farkers said they're knowing
But it's horseshiat they are throwing
If the new Pope isn't showing
This is the thread that does not end
2013-03-13 03:14:29 PM
1 votes:
So... it was the unScola?
2013-03-13 03:14:21 PM
1 votes:
i98.photobucket.com
2013-03-13 03:14:09 PM
1 votes:

inert: HOLY CRAP IT'S RON PAUL


Tim Baffoe @Ten_Foot_Midget
I'd like to point out that win or lose, Ron Paul ran for Pope on half the campaign funds as his opponents.
2013-03-13 03:13:53 PM
1 votes:
well......WE"RE WAITING
2013-03-13 03:13:48 PM
1 votes:
They're not going to lower him from the rafters, are they?

Then we'll have to go through this all again.
2013-03-13 03:13:40 PM
1 votes:

Car_Ramrod: deadsanta: Seriously wtf, pick your pope-name and come out already, I'm sick of winter!

You can't tell me that Cardinals don't stay up late at night, laying in bed, dreaming up their possible Pope names.


I wonder if they play a variation of "your porn name" up at the vatican. You know, your porn name is your childhood pet name plus your parents' street name. So I'm Peter Otter Rock. What would the vatican version be?
2013-03-13 03:13:20 PM
1 votes:
OK. Pope is coming out.
2013-03-13 03:13:11 PM
1 votes:
HOLY CRAP IT'S RON PAUL
2013-03-13 03:12:22 PM
1 votes:
farm4.staticflickr.com
2013-03-13 03:11:29 PM
1 votes:
i171.photobucket.com

Do not arouse the wrath of the great and powerful Oz! I said come back tomorrow!
2013-03-13 03:11:24 PM
1 votes:
Just putting out there, Pope Lando IIcollider.com
2013-03-13 03:11:17 PM
1 votes:
Dude, HIRE A FASTER TAILOR!
2013-03-13 03:10:50 PM
1 votes:

Crackers Are a Family Food: According to Brian Williams, someone just peeked through the curtains on the balcony.  He noted that they are thin curtains.



imageshack.us
Hi there.
2013-03-13 03:10:20 PM
1 votes:
"The new Pope is-"

*GONG*

"Ohhhhhhhh yeeeessssssssss"
2013-03-13 03:10:08 PM
1 votes:
Is that someone waving Mjolnir around in the front row? What is it with all these archaic weapons.
2013-03-13 03:10:06 PM
1 votes:
Are they doing the "sit on an open bottom chair and feel for testicles" thing now, or does that come later?
2013-03-13 03:09:27 PM
1 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com
Pope-in-Disguise?
2013-03-13 03:09:21 PM
1 votes:

FizixJunkee: Endive Wombat: Can someone please explain the "ok, Pope is coming out" meme?

Coming out of the closet?


art.penny-arcade.com
2013-03-13 03:09:13 PM
1 votes:
Holy Smoke Batman!
2013-03-13 03:08:54 PM
1 votes:
OH, OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH POPE...

I think I'm cute...I know I'm sexy!
2013-03-13 03:08:00 PM
1 votes:
We went from watching a stovepipe to watching a window.
2013-03-13 03:07:51 PM
1 votes:
almostitalian.com
2013-03-13 03:07:50 PM
1 votes:

NeoCortex42: There's a light...


Over at the Popenstien place
There's a light
Burning the in the fireplace.
2013-03-13 03:07:21 PM
1 votes:
Ignore the man behind the curtain
2013-03-13 03:06:37 PM
1 votes:
And the lights go off...

GONG
2013-03-13 03:06:28 PM
1 votes:
THIS ANNOUNCEMENT MAY CONTAIN STROBE EFFECTS
2013-03-13 03:05:58 PM
1 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: A SECOND POPE HAS HIT THE SOUTH VATICAN!


I'm a bad person.  This made me laugh.  Hard.
2013-03-13 03:05:51 PM
1 votes:

AlHarris31: Rann Xerox: bdub77: My money is on Scherer.

My money is on Ratzinger walking onto the balcony and saying: "Fooled you guys!"

BAH GAWD KING, THATS RATZINGERS MUSIC!  DAMN HIM.


Awwww Sonovabiath..
2013-03-13 03:05:32 PM
1 votes:

Lt. Cheese Weasel: litespeed74: My guess is it will be an old white guy.

Abe Vigoda?


Well, he would be the last Pope, since he's immortal.
2013-03-13 03:05:17 PM
1 votes:

Gifted Many Few: Tim Curry would make an awesome pope.

I also cast a vote for The Undertaker.


1.bp.blogspot.com
2013-03-13 03:05:00 PM
1 votes:

ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: DRESS HIM UP, SEND HIM OUT.


hello?  mind control parasite FIRST, then ceremony SECOND!  geez.  ya gotta get the order right.
2013-03-13 03:04:49 PM
1 votes:

ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: DRESS HIM UP, SEND HIM OUT.


RAWHIDE!
2013-03-13 03:04:30 PM
1 votes:

robsul82: New Pope throwing up, sobbing into the toilet that he's not ready as cardinals comfort him.


 Wouldn't you be?  I sure as fark would
2013-03-13 03:04:21 PM
1 votes:
If I didn't know better I'd say the New Pope was a woman. Taking forever to get ready.
2013-03-13 03:04:01 PM
1 votes:

bighairyguy: DaJesus: MNguy: Non-practicing Catholic here.  Chance of black Pope = <0%  Latin = 3%  Old white guy = 96.7%

Really? Because Cardinal Peter Turkson has been given 6/1 odds. 3rd best odds.
Source

Peter Tork?!?  That would be awesome!


Mike was the one with the hat.

"They thought it was cute.  They thought everything was cute."
2013-03-13 03:03:52 PM
1 votes:
Is it too much to ask that the new pope open a door and be standing all naked, like the Life of Brian scene?
2013-03-13 03:01:39 PM
1 votes:
oi49.tinypic.com
2013-03-13 03:01:06 PM
1 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com

2.bp.blogspot.com

"OOPS..........."

gretachristina.typepad.com
2013-03-13 03:00:51 PM
1 votes:

bdub77: My money is on Scherer.


wodumedia.com
2013-03-13 03:00:34 PM
1 votes:
Will Michael Buffer be making the announcement?
2013-03-13 03:00:05 PM
1 votes:
www.allystore.net


Pope J2 P2
2013-03-13 02:59:22 PM
1 votes:
Who's the band... Godsmack?
2013-03-13 02:59:10 PM
1 votes:
jefffearon.files.wordpress.com

Pope-a-dope
2013-03-13 02:59:01 PM
1 votes:

ChipNASA: POPE BEAN!!

[www.dumpaday.com image 620x955]


In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spigot...
2013-03-13 02:58:05 PM
1 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: A SECOND POPE HAS HIT THE SOUTH VATICAN!


OH GOD! THE HUGE MANATEE!
2013-03-13 02:57:14 PM
1 votes:
I take it we're just waiting for the Pope to get back from the woods after having been elected by Catholic bears.

/I'm not Catholic, I don't know how these things work.
2013-03-13 02:56:56 PM
1 votes:

bighairyguy: DaJesus: MNguy: Non-practicing Catholic here.  Chance of black Pope = <0%  Latin = 3%  Old white guy = 96.7%

Really? Because Cardinal Peter Turkson has been given 6/1 odds. 3rd best odds.
Source

Peter Tork?!?  That would be awesome!


He's the dummy, Micky. He's always the dummy.
2013-03-13 02:56:25 PM
1 votes:
CM PUNK chant drowned out by boos from nowhere
2013-03-13 02:55:54 PM
1 votes:
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net

Lemmy From Motorhead
2013-03-13 02:54:25 PM
1 votes:

DaJesus: MNguy: Non-practicing Catholic here.  Chance of black Pope = <0%  Latin = 3%  Old white guy = 96.7%

Really? Because Cardinal Peter Turkson has been given 6/1 odds. 3rd best odds.
Source


Peter Tork?!?  That would be awesome!
2013-03-13 02:54:12 PM
1 votes:
hey, where can I pick up one of these 'Pope' hats? Figure I can walk into stores, bless them & get free stuff.
2013-03-13 02:54:05 PM
1 votes:
www4.pictures.zimbio.com
"HEY! I'M-A DUH PO-PAH!"
2013-03-13 02:53:46 PM
1 votes:
...but the real question about the pope is.... how many can you get into a Volkswagen....
2013-03-13 02:52:55 PM
1 votes:
Any chance the Pope will pick a really cool name like Krognar the Destroyer? Or maybe a novelty name like Howie Feltersnatch or Kiddie McDiddler? Maybe something more old school like Bigus Dickus?
2013-03-13 02:52:32 PM
1 votes:
So all that stuff we did in between Popes doesn't count, right?
2013-03-13 02:52:11 PM
1 votes:
downwithfilm.com
2013-03-13 02:51:45 PM
1 votes:
Valentine Pontifex of Majipoor.
2013-03-13 02:50:28 PM
1 votes:

ExpressPork: bluorangefyre: God help us if its (a) that guy from Ghana who's named Peter

I've seen this said a few times in this thread.  Is there some kind of doomsday prophecy related to a pope named Peter?


oh my, a blah president and a blah pope. heads would explode.
2013-03-13 02:50:00 PM
1 votes:

Onkel Buck: Endive Wombat: what do they use to make the smoke white?

.

Protestants


That's a month in the very pits of hell for you.
2013-03-13 02:49:37 PM
1 votes:
I hope it is Sean O'Malley. Best St. Paddy's day ever in the Vatican. Except for when the real St. Patrick did that whole snake thing, of course.
2013-03-13 02:49:03 PM
1 votes:
How long until pope comes out?
2013-03-13 02:48:39 PM
1 votes:

mootmah: Endive Wombat: what is the purpose of this marching band stuff?

Vatican Anthem. They're a sovereign country.


Vatican is in the house to-niight...
Everybody gonna have a holy time...

/every day I'm conclavin'
2013-03-13 02:48:16 PM
1 votes:

robsul82: Papa.

Oscar.

Papa.

Echo.

POPE

/BAH GAWD KING HE'S COMING THROUGH THE CROWD


LMAO, Damn you making me laugh too loudly at work!
2013-03-13 02:48:07 PM
1 votes:

wxboy: Justin Bieber


too old
2013-03-13 02:47:14 PM
1 votes:

allegedman: QUICK SOMEBODY STAMPEDE CATTLE THROUGH THE VATICAN


I'm sure lots of Catholics rushed into St. Peter's Basilica upon hearing the news.
2013-03-13 02:47:13 PM
1 votes:
TIM TEBOW FOR POPE!
2013-03-13 02:46:43 PM
1 votes:
Freebird!!!
2013-03-13 02:46:34 PM
1 votes:

Endive Wombat: what is the purpose of this marching band stuff?


Would you rather they had Justin Bieber out there?
2013-03-13 02:46:33 PM
1 votes:

WhyteRaven74: digitalrain: Most of the child molestation coverups occurred over here

Actually in parts of Europe it was at least as bad as in the US.


don't forget forced labor from bad irish girls in laundry workhouses

yay bad irish girls!


.
2013-03-13 02:46:28 PM
1 votes:

AngryDragon: Real modernization, not Vatican II (ugh)


Vatican 2, Papal Boogaloo!
2013-03-13 02:45:48 PM
1 votes:

Theaetetus: Probably a bunch of old meat between new buns.


Mine was old and tired, yours is witty. I concede to you good sir.
2013-03-13 02:45:43 PM
1 votes:
Pope Shatner, make it so.
2013-03-13 02:45:06 PM
1 votes:

deadsanta: Wow, that's a lot of military parade for the hippie peacenik religion Jesus founded. It must be heartwarming for Catholics to know that their religious donations are being spent on mercenaries with automatic weapons. Come to think on it, you'd think Catholicism would be on the rise in America for that reason alone.


I can't wait until a man who's never been paid a day's wage puts on a few thousand dollars in washed silk and steps out of a palace of gold to tell us how to be humble.
2013-03-13 02:43:46 PM
1 votes:
upload.wikimedia.org

The new Pope?

/That was an awful storyline
2013-03-13 02:43:06 PM
1 votes:
i hope its Lionel Messi.... or Bono!
Bono would be an awesome pope. He can get young people back to the chruch, focus the mission on poverty and change his name to Bonodict.
2013-03-13 02:42:37 PM
1 votes:

Petey4335: Weaver95: August11: What the hell is taking him so long? Put on the gown and get on the balcony! Sheesh.

they had to put the mind control parasite on first.

So, we're going to get a 15 year rein of this pope, he's going to die by the hands of G'kar and Vir will be the next pope?


pretty much, yeah.
2013-03-13 02:42:27 PM
1 votes:
We no longer needemus Papam!
2013-03-13 02:42:03 PM
1 votes:
I'm watching this and can't help but think of great places for Ezio to air assassinate from.
2013-03-13 02:41:22 PM
1 votes:
2013-03-13 02:41:07 PM
1 votes:
Troll-pe.
2013-03-13 02:41:00 PM
1 votes:
lh3.ggpht.com
2013-03-13 02:40:56 PM
1 votes:

bighairyguy: He's getting fitted for his green jacket now.


Gold jacket, green jacket, who gives a shiat.
2013-03-13 02:40:27 PM
1 votes:
Serious question: Why don't they just pick Jesus as Pope? Am I missing something?
2013-03-13 02:40:20 PM
1 votes:
I cry fowl.  They haven't even counted the absentee votes yet!  I feel disenfranchised.
2013-03-13 02:39:12 PM
1 votes:

rev. dave: MNguy: rev. dave:   I would prefer someone who would allow women Bishops and Cardinals.  Women would have a better chance at fixing the messes they have gotten into.


Haha.  Oh, wait, are you serious?  Because that is not going to happen.

I'm serious.  It will happen.  Just when is the question.  It is needed.


Catholic dogma holds that it's literally impossible for women to become priests (though deacon is possible), so either bishop or cardinal is Right Out.
2013-03-13 02:39:10 PM
1 votes:

Lt. Cheese Weasel: iheartscotch: So, if the pope weighs the same as a duck; he's made of wood?

Who are you who is so wise in the ways of science?


I am Arthur, King of the Britians!
2013-03-13 02:38:45 PM
1 votes:

what_now: Excellent job, Subby.

I have a feeling this is one of those headlines that was thought up in advance, like mine for when Dick Cheney dies.


My prepared comment for that will be an edit of the incredible hulk intro:"the world believes Dick Cheney to be dead, and he must let them think that, until he learns to control the raging spirit within him."
2013-03-13 02:37:48 PM
1 votes:
Battle of the papal bands!!
2013-03-13 02:37:46 PM
1 votes:
Actually, Ratzingers firing up the ol crematory for old times sake.
2013-03-13 02:37:46 PM
1 votes:
Actually, I think Antonin Scalia would be a great Pope. He's already used to wearing robes.
2013-03-13 02:37:31 PM
1 votes:

CapeFearCadaver: Weaver95: robsul82: Good news - the frontrunner for the Papacy said feminism is the reason for homosexual men.

didn't Rush Limbaugh say that?

My grandmother suggested that domestic violence was a direct result of feminism. Like, it didn't even exist until the 60's. What was it she said... Oh: "It's like the emasculation of men through women's rights have made the men more violent in order to prove themselves."


your grandmother needs professional medical help and lots of drugs.
2013-03-13 02:37:10 PM
1 votes:
The pope has his own marching band?  What is this?
2013-03-13 02:35:57 PM
1 votes:

rev. dave: Women would have a better chance at fixing the messes they have gotten into.


I think the Nuns already take care of the dishes and baking.
2013-03-13 02:35:28 PM
1 votes:

GAT_00: Apparently the Pope has his own theme song.



He's a complicated man
But no one understands him but his woman

//glad I waited to reup my TF. I can imagine the newsflashes
2013-03-13 02:35:08 PM
1 votes:

DickDarlington: Waiting for the new pope to come out on the balcony and start gunning down the crowd....


I'd be happy if he'd come out and introduce everyone to his spouse, gender doesn't matter but age does. If the Pope announced that he was secretly married and now going open about it, THAT would be news worth reporting.
2013-03-13 02:34:01 PM
1 votes:

iheartscotch: So, if the pope weighs the same as a duck; he's made of wood?


Who are you who is so wise in the ways of science?
2013-03-13 02:33:23 PM
1 votes:
Here comes the Swiss Guard
2013-03-13 02:33:22 PM
1 votes:
Oh there is a marching band too!!!!
2013-03-13 02:33:22 PM
1 votes:

syrynxx: vernonFL: NeoCortex42: Wasn't Peter Jewish?

Wasn't Jesus Jewish?

But, yeah, Peter was the first Jewish Pope.

The word "Pope" or any form of it appears in the Bible as often as the words "Quantum entanglement".  It is a political office, end of story.


Nothing about the office, but I'm pretty sure the word "papa" shows up once or twice.
2013-03-13 02:33:12 PM
1 votes:
www.memegeneokerlund.com

Pope Dolph I
2013-03-13 02:32:52 PM
1 votes:
4.bp.blogspot.com

Pope coming out.
2013-03-13 02:32:09 PM
1 votes:

robsul82: Good news - the frontrunner for the Papacy said feminism is the reason for homosexual men.


didn't Rush Limbaugh say that?
2013-03-13 02:31:49 PM
1 votes:
Too pooped to Pope?  C'mon, my joke was funny!  IT WAS!  *stamps feet*
2013-03-13 02:31:21 PM
1 votes:
Waiting for the new pope to come out on the balcony and start gunning down the crowd....
2013-03-13 02:30:38 PM
1 votes:

what_now:
I have a feeling this is one of those headlines that was thought up in advance, like mine for when Dick Cheney dies.


"World's most evil bastard is now burning in hell" ?
2013-03-13 02:30:23 PM
1 votes:

Dr Dreidel: Was it an African cardinal elevated to the papacy? Can I make my "Ill Papa" joke yet?


I love it when you call me Ill Papa?
2013-03-13 02:29:39 PM
1 votes:

what_now: Excellent job, Subby.

I have a feeling this is one of those headlines that was thought up in advance, like mine for when Dick Cheney dies.


Nope. I tried the Pope is coming out, then saw the sea of identical headlines and this one just poped in to my head.
2013-03-13 02:29:01 PM
1 votes:
Quick, someone reset the "# OF DAYS SINCE LAST SEX ABUSE SCANDAL IGNORED BY POPE" counter to 0!
2013-03-13 02:28:11 PM
1 votes:

gas giant: A second pope has hit the world tra...Oh, f*ck it.

Maybe they elected Berlusconi.


No way. He's straight and not a pedophile.
2013-03-13 02:27:27 PM
1 votes:
TLDC (Too long, Didn't Care).
So, who's the new King of Pedophiles?
2013-03-13 02:27:19 PM
1 votes:

Wind Chimes: henryhill: neritz: netgamer7k: [i.imgur.com image 250x135]

Please be a black pope!!!

This.

What he said.


The lulz would be epic there.  Can you say Tea Party 2.0?
2013-03-13 02:27:05 PM
1 votes:

spentmiles: It'd be awesome if no one emerged all day and night, but smoke kept billowing out.  Finally, tomorrow morning, they knock down the door and find nothing but a bunch of charred remains and the stench of burnt flesh.  Then that seagull flies in and starts turbo-shiatting all over everything.  I see in rock and roll.


Does this make me a sick fark for thinking, just as the white smoke came pouring out, that hey, Cardinal BBQ!  Where's the beer!??
2013-03-13 02:26:57 PM
1 votes:
I'm still waiting for the concession call from the cardinals. I'm also waiting for them to ask me if I want to be pope.

I will not concede this election
2013-03-13 02:26:39 PM
1 votes:

durbnpoisn: My coffee will still taste the same tomorrow... In other words, it means less than nothing to me.


If Best Korea attacked South Korea and Japan, and China stepped in and helped Best Korea, and then a few people dropped big bombs that killed millions of people....

....your coffee would still taste the same.  Your measure for whether something matters on the global scale is a bit...strange.
2013-03-13 02:26:17 PM
1 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Abandon pope, all ye who enter here


That was beautiful.
2013-03-13 02:26:14 PM
1 votes:
A true story about the Vatican:

My brother used to run an online store for women's underwear. One of his popular items was a thong with the Vatican flag on it. Sadly he had to take it the website down due to a cease and desist demand from Vatican city.

it was called hahapanties.com
2013-03-13 02:25:40 PM
1 votes:
Also,  I enjoyed another team's name last trivia night "we found love in a popeless place"
2013-03-13 02:25:33 PM
1 votes:

Wind Chimes: henryhill: neritz: netgamer7k: [i.imgur.com image 250x135]

Please be a black pope!!!

This.

What he said.


Italy will lose it's collective racist mind.  The lulz would be glorious.
2013-03-13 02:24:20 PM
1 votes:
Wow, I just got the phone call, and I have to say I'm both honored and shocked.  I mean, I'm not a Cardinal, or even Catholic (or Christian) but I guess they thought they needed a real change.

You may address me as Your Holiness, Pope Hero the First from now on
2013-03-13 02:24:02 PM
1 votes:
His first roster move will be to send a whole bunch of real players down to the minors.
2013-03-13 02:23:54 PM
1 votes:
www.wrestlinglol.com
2013-03-13 02:23:37 PM
1 votes:
Welcome, Pope George Ringo.
2013-03-13 02:23:04 PM
1 votes:

netgamer7k: [i.imgur.com image 250x135]

Please be a black pope!!!


This.
2013-03-13 02:22:58 PM
1 votes:
4.bp.blogspot.com
Let's get this party started.

/THIS IS NOT A DREAM
2013-03-13 02:22:43 PM
1 votes:
Can CM Punk make it 3/3 and interrupt the Pope too?

/popebomb
2013-03-13 02:22:30 PM
1 votes:

NeoCortex42: Wasn't Peter Jewish?


Wasn't Jesus Jewish?

But, yeah, Peter was the first Jewish Pope.
2013-03-13 02:22:25 PM
1 votes:
No dadflarbignarbignabbit, the pope is a nig*DANG*
2013-03-13 02:22:21 PM
1 votes:

Mirrorz: KingKauff: Great headline, subby.

Did you submit this?


Was it dull and/or stupid? That should give you the answer right there.
2013-03-13 02:22:09 PM
1 votes:
I'm hoping for a transgender advocate of LGBT rights. That would be something worth tuning in for.
2013-03-13 02:21:40 PM
1 votes:
It must be pretty cool to be able to suddenly become infallable just because a bunch of old, mostly white, allegedly-celibate dudes wearing red dresses vote that you are. Too bad we can't elect presidents that way.
2013-03-13 02:21:25 PM
1 votes:
images.forbes.com

Not even Matheny will ever be better than me, Subby!
2013-03-13 02:21:16 PM
1 votes:
In Scientology, you'd have to pay thousands of dollars and get tons of audits for this kind of thing.
2013-03-13 02:20:57 PM
1 votes:
Gee I hope it's some out of touch old guy...
2013-03-13 02:20:47 PM
1 votes:

I_C_Weener: Jake Havechek: The white smoke is really from the celebratory bong hits for coming to a decision.

And this is one of the weirder comments we'll see in this thread.


Somehow I doubt that.
2013-03-13 02:20:42 PM
1 votes:

durbnpoisn: Good.  Can we just get over this already?

Speaking as a non-Catholic, I find it completely absurd that the news media is portraying this as some sort of gigantic event for all of humanity.  My coffee will still taste the same tomorrow...  In other words, it means less than nothing to me.


As a Catholic, I also find the attention completely absurd.However, according to the Prophecy of the Popes, this one is the last Pope
2013-03-13 02:20:39 PM
1 votes:
I've got my money on an older White guy.
2013-03-13 02:20:03 PM
1 votes:
I hope it isn't the guy who was on the ticket with Sarah Palin as Vice Pope.
2013-03-13 02:19:43 PM
1 votes:
www.metalinjection.net
2013-03-13 02:19:30 PM
1 votes:
Wow, Rodman shows up in Rome and the Pope is chosen.  This man can get things done!  Let's get him on the sequester.
2013-03-13 02:19:09 PM
1 votes:
 his name is Peter, we're all farked.

th1204.photobucket.com

/nice knowing you idiots
2013-03-13 02:19:05 PM
1 votes:
content8.flixster.com
2013-03-13 02:18:59 PM
1 votes:

Jake Havechek: The white smoke is really from the celebratory bong hits for coming to a decision.


And this is one of the weirder comments we'll see in this thread.
2013-03-13 02:17:38 PM
1 votes:
♫♪ Would you like to see the pope
on the end of a rope?
Do you think he's a fool? ♫♪
2013-03-13 02:17:29 PM
1 votes:
What year is this again?
2013-03-13 02:17:20 PM
1 votes:
I love you, Subby.
2013-03-13 02:16:18 PM
1 votes:
Steven Seagull?
2013-03-13 02:16:18 PM
1 votes:

Byno: Nice.  Also happy we didn't get another "Pope is coming out" headline.


Agree, I was ready to wince. I was cringingly pre-winced if you will.
2013-03-13 02:15:29 PM
1 votes:
No matter what, the dude is going to be known as The Seagull Pope.
2013-03-13 02:15:24 PM
1 votes:
Is it Batman?
2013-03-13 02:14:47 PM
1 votes:
Seagull, you're ruining the shot!
 
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