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(NBC News) NewsFlash Cardinals hire new manager   (worldnews.nbcnews.com) divider line 1550
    More: NewsFlash, Sistine Chapel, white smoke, rises, Castel Gandolfo, basilica, papal elections, NBC News  
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26343 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2013 at 2:13 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»


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2013-03-13 02:51:45 PM
my name would be Pope Meatloaf I.


Just sayin.
 
2013-03-13 02:51:45 PM
Valentine Pontifex of Majipoor.
 
2013-03-13 02:51:49 PM
It's this guy. He likes tits.

img.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-13 02:51:51 PM

Car_Ramrod: Serious question: Why don't they just pick Jesus as Pope? Am I missing something?


Pope, as the head of one of the largest organizations on Earth, actually has to exist.
 
2013-03-13 02:51:52 PM

mootmah: GAT_00: germ78: allegedman: QUICK SOMEBODY STAMPEDE CATTLE THROUGH THE VATICAN

I'm sure lots of Catholics rushed into St. Peter's Basilica upon hearing the news.

Most of Rome is en route I suspect.  That's actually why they're delaying.

Which makes it a perfect time for a thoughtful terrorist to make his name.

I think I read a book about that once. They turned it into a horrible movie.


No no, that was a terrible joke played once by a publishing company.  No author is actually that bad.
 
2013-03-13 02:51:53 PM
He will be known as Pope GoldenPalace.com.
 
2013-03-13 02:52:00 PM

JohnnyApocalypse: ... what's a pope?


A guy who lives in a swamp, wearing a funny hat, and handing out swords to people and calling them kings
 
2013-03-13 02:52:03 PM

MagSeven: VvonderJesus: "The new Pope is-"

*START STATIC*

[i.imgur.com image 466x357]


It's Beautiful!!!
 
2013-03-13 02:52:05 PM

JohnnyApocalypse: ... what's a pope?


He's an old guy in a funny hat who condones child molestation and dispises contraception, but that's not important right now.
 
2013-03-13 02:52:07 PM
Obama is going to be very upset when he learns he's not the almighty one......
 
2013-03-13 02:52:09 PM
If he calls himself Fartbongo I, I'm joining the Catholic church. I swear.
 
2013-03-13 02:52:11 PM
downwithfilm.com
 
2013-03-13 02:52:12 PM

DamnYankees: Lost Thought 00: Broncos sign Wes Welker

Link? Can't find this anywhere.


Last I heard Schefter has the Broncos working on the final details with Welker, no deal official yet.
 
2013-03-13 02:52:16 PM
i492.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-13 02:52:19 PM

Edwardo17: This text is now purple: Edwardo17: Can you imagine if the Church ended up selecting a moderate or even - gasp - a reformer?

JPII only died like 5 years ago. He was a reformer.

In many ways I'd agree; he certainly did a lot to popularize the image of the Church in non-Christian nations, and he did make some fairly inclusive arguments about ending the divide between science and faith, but JP himself was a doctrinaire conservative; I wish I could find the quote, but for now I'll paraphrase: he was once overheard complaining about modern Catholic views on contraception and abortion, "You can't pick and choose", he apparently said, "You either accept it all, or you reject it". Don't get me wrong, I liked John Paul, but when I say reformer, I'm talking more along the lines of Paul VI. Does that make sense?


Sure.  The Church literally can not change certain things.  That's all there is to it.
 
2013-03-13 02:52:26 PM
csb:

I was confirmed by a black Bishop.  Gregory I believe his name was.

No longer Catholic, but I think it would be a great step to name one of the Popes from Africa that were on the short list.
 
2013-03-13 02:52:32 PM
So all that stuff we did in between Popes doesn't count, right?
 
2013-03-13 02:52:34 PM

syrynxx: chrylis: Nothing about the office, but I'm pretty sure the word "papa" shows up once or twice.

Perhaps depending on the translation, if they translate Aramaic 'abba' into Greek or Latin. And here's where belief runs off the rails of provability - my Master Mason friend insisted that the verse about the 'keys to the Kingdom of Heaven' that Catholics use as the foundation for the papacy was not in original texts, and was inserted by human transcribers later.


So was the "let he who has not sinned cast the first stone" story. The Bible hasn't exactly been handed down unedited from the year 33 AD.
 
2013-03-13 02:52:38 PM
come ON goddammit I have shiat to do!
 
2013-03-13 02:52:44 PM

Lost Thought 00: Broncos sign Wes Welker


Not yet, but they are talking
 
2013-03-13 02:52:47 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Can you say Tea Party 2.0?


Can you say the TeaParty are largely protestants, if "Christian," so they don't really care about the pope?
 
2013-03-13 02:52:55 PM
Any chance the Pope will pick a really cool name like Krognar the Destroyer? Or maybe a novelty name like Howie Feltersnatch or Kiddie McDiddler? Maybe something more old school like Bigus Dickus?
 
2013-03-13 02:53:01 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-13 02:53:04 PM

DamnYankees: What's the over/under one how many children the new pope raped? 15?


Man, you must have worked pretty hard to come up with something that original.
 
2013-03-13 02:53:09 PM

VvonderJesus: "The new Pope is-"

*START STATIC*


He is already God. Why would he want to take the midcard title that is Pope?
 
2013-03-13 02:53:11 PM
Al-Jazeera is now implying that because the Pontifex twitter account has just been re-activated, the Cardinal known for being an active tweeter (Cardinal Scherer of Brazil) is probably the new pope.
 
2013-03-13 02:53:20 PM

Queensowntalia: nekom: Is it just me or did that smoke look most definitely black at first, then turn white?

I was going to make a joke about cremating Michael Jackson, but couldn't decide if that went beyond even Fark's boundaries.


Fark's what? What are you talking about?
 
2013-03-13 02:53:33 PM

MNguy: Non-practicing Catholic here.  Chance of black Pope = <0%  Latin = 3%  Old white guy = 96.7%


Really? Because Cardinal Peter Turkson has been given 6/1 odds. 3rd best odds.
Source
 
2013-03-13 02:53:46 PM
...but the real question about the pope is.... how many can you get into a Volkswagen....
 
2013-03-13 02:53:55 PM

Nabb1: DamnYankees: What's the over/under one how many children the new pope raped? 15?

Man, you must have worked pretty hard to come up with something that original.


I wasn't aware I needed to be creative in my disgust for organizations that commit and aid in the commission of child rape.
 
2013-03-13 02:54:05 PM
www4.pictures.zimbio.com
"HEY! I'M-A DUH PO-PAH!"
 
2013-03-13 02:54:12 PM
hey, where can I pick up one of these 'Pope' hats? Figure I can walk into stores, bless them & get free stuff.
 
2013-03-13 02:54:17 PM
I hear if the new pope sees his shadow, there will be six more centuries of Catholic irrelevancy.
 
2013-03-13 02:54:18 PM
cast aside the shoes and follow the gourd!
 
2013-03-13 02:54:25 PM

DaJesus: MNguy: Non-practicing Catholic here.  Chance of black Pope = <0%  Latin = 3%  Old white guy = 96.7%

Really? Because Cardinal Peter Turkson has been given 6/1 odds. 3rd best odds.
Source


Peter Tork?!?  That would be awesome!
 
2013-03-13 02:54:31 PM
It would be amusing if the guy they chose is someone who has to fly in from, say, South America.  We'll all be sitting here for the next 10 hours.
 
2013-03-13 02:54:32 PM
I can believe CNN has the least annoying coverage of this.
 
2013-03-13 02:54:42 PM

DaJesus: MNguy: Non-practicing Catholic here.  Chance of black Pope = <0%  Latin = 3%  Old white guy = 96.7%

Really? Because Cardinal Peter Turkson has been given 6/1 odds. 3rd best odds.
Source


Wasn't that African cardinal a forerunner the last time?
 
2013-03-13 02:55:07 PM
New pope is taking the name Pope John Popper II
 
2013-03-13 02:55:11 PM

FizixJunkee: DaJesus: MNguy: Non-practicing Catholic here.  Chance of black Pope = <0%  Latin = 3%  Old white guy = 96.7%

Really? Because Cardinal Peter Turkson has been given 6/1 odds. 3rd best odds.
Source

Wasn't that African cardinal a forerunner the last time?


The Vatican has to abide by the Rooney Rule.
 
2013-03-13 02:55:14 PM
OK. i'm cutting through all the snark and bullshiat to find out who it is. Who is it?
 
2013-03-13 02:55:16 PM
Will there be fireworks?
 
2013-03-13 02:55:18 PM
I've given up on waiting for it to come out in the normal channels.  Figure Fark'll beat them to the punch.
 
2013-03-13 02:55:31 PM

bighairyguy: DaJesus: MNguy: Non-practicing Catholic here.  Chance of black Pope = <0%  Latin = 3%  Old white guy = 96.7%

Really? Because Cardinal Peter Turkson has been given 6/1 odds. 3rd best odds.
Source

Peter Tork?!?  That would be awesome!


That guy had no talent at all

/and I bet his Latin really sucks
 
2013-03-13 02:55:33 PM

Gulper Eel: It's this guy. He likes tits.

[img.photobucket.com image 604x456]


It can't be BECAUSE he likes tits!
 
2013-03-13 02:55:38 PM
Right, so I'm watching this video online from the Vatican. Who is "Feline Papa"?
 
2013-03-13 02:55:49 PM

WTFDYW: OK. i'm cutting through all the snark and bullshiat to find out who it is. Who is it?


They haven't announced yet.
 
2013-03-13 02:55:50 PM

WTFDYW: OK. i'm cutting through all the snark and bullshiat to find out who it is. Who is it?


We don't know yet.
 
2013-03-13 02:55:54 PM
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net

Lemmy From Motorhead
 
2013-03-13 02:56:04 PM

DaJesus: MNguy: Non-practicing Catholic here.  Chance of black Pope = <0%  Latin = 3%  Old white guy = 96.7%

Really? Because Cardinal Peter Turkson has been given 6/1 odds. 3rd best odds.
Source


I'd be happy to see it.  But it's not going to happen.  Also your source is 'Paddy Power betting'
 
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