If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(NBC News) NewsFlash Cardinals hire new manager   (worldnews.nbcnews.com) divider line 1550
    More: NewsFlash, Sistine Chapel, white smoke, rises, Castel Gandolfo, basilica, papal elections, NBC News  
•       •       •

26319 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2013 at 2:13 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»


Want to get NewsFlash notifications in email?

1550 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | » | Last
 
2013-03-13 02:48:17 PM

digitalrain: NeoCortex42: digitalrain: Agreed. I don't want a NoAm Pope though. Most of the child molestation coverups occurred over here. I don't
want that kind of complicity sitting on the Pope throne.

Same here.  I would rather the boring European Pope who would change nothing over an American Pope.

That isn't what I meant at all. I don't know that an American Pope would change anything at all. I'm afraid
that an American Pope would be even more likely to cover things up. That's all.


I don't think an American Pope would change anything.  I think they would be as traditional as a European Pope, but I think an American Pope would end up more involved in US politics than I would care for.
 
2013-03-13 02:48:19 PM

Lost Thought 00: AngryDragon: MNguy: neritz:

Acceptable, but the butt hurt will be much greater with a black one.

/non-Catholic here.


Non-practicing Catholic here.  Chance of black Pope = <0%  Latin = 3%  Old white guy = 96.7%

I can live with that if the "old white guy" is a Jesuit.  That is the only hope that the Catholic Church has any real upheaval and modernization.  Real modernization, not Vatican II (ugh)

Don't hold your breath. The church would rather die than modernize.


Sounds Republican.
 
2013-03-13 02:48:22 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: bighairyguy: He's getting fitted for his green jacket now.

I hear he's going to reform Holy Communion. Half wine, half iced tea.

And every time he puts the wafer in a believer's mouth, an assistant priest has to shout "It's in the hole!"


Cinderella story ...
 
2013-03-13 02:48:28 PM
KarmicDisaster:

He has to write an acceptance speech. Difficulty: in Aramaic.

CSB: A Catholic friend of mine asked me to translate some passage in the Bible for him.  The passage was written with the Hebrew alphabet, so I thought a quick glance at it would be all that I needed.  Nope.  It made no sense to me whatsoever.  I couldn't figure it out.  I mean, my Hebrew isn't great, but it's not crummy, either.

That's when I figured out it was Aramaic and not Hebrew.

\end{CSB}
 
2013-03-13 02:48:30 PM
What's the over/under one how many children the new pope raped? 15?
 
2013-03-13 02:48:39 PM

mootmah: Endive Wombat: what is the purpose of this marching band stuff?

Vatican Anthem. They're a sovereign country.


Vatican is in the house to-niight...
Everybody gonna have a holy time...

/every day I'm conclavin'
 
2013-03-13 02:48:39 PM
www.terrycrews.com
 
2013-03-13 02:48:54 PM
Anderson Cooper is the new Pope!
 
2013-03-13 02:49:00 PM
Bad time for a terrorist attack.
 
2013-03-13 02:49:01 PM
"The new Pope is-"

*START STATIC*
 
2013-03-13 02:49:03 PM
How long until pope comes out?
 
2013-03-13 02:49:04 PM
Word is in: Frank Zappa IS the new Pope. The official anthem will be Illinois Enema Bandit!

time to eat some crackers and drink some wine
 
2013-03-13 02:49:14 PM

germ78: allegedman: QUICK SOMEBODY STAMPEDE CATTLE THROUGH THE VATICAN

I'm sure lots of Catholics rushed into St. Peter's Basilica upon hearing the news.


Most of Rome is en route I suspect.  That's actually why they're delaying.

Which makes it a perfect time for a thoughtful terrorist to make his name.
 
2013-03-13 02:49:22 PM
Tim Curry would make an awesome pope.

I also cast a vote for The Undertaker.
 
2013-03-13 02:49:37 PM
I hope it is Sean O'Malley. Best St. Paddy's day ever in the Vatican. Except for when the real St. Patrick did that whole snake thing, of course.
 
2013-03-13 02:49:38 PM
Nice work, subby.
 
2013-03-13 02:49:39 PM

Endive Wombat: what is the purpose of this marching band stuff?


To get the crowd pumped up before the new Pope runs through a banner onto St. Peter's Square.
 
2013-03-13 02:49:40 PM

DamnYankees: I have a meeting in 15 minutes. Lets hurry this up.


We all have things to do and I need to know which way the church may lean before doing so.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2013-03-13 02:49:40 PM

Summoner101: This headline is not infantile enough for the depths Fark sinks to.


"Where there's smoke, there's friar?"
 
2013-03-13 02:49:42 PM
FizixJunkee:

Me ad.

\don't really know Latin


Damned English speakers can't even keep "to" and "too" straight in other languages
 
2013-03-13 02:49:43 PM
i171.photobucket.com

All hail Pope Hilarius the Second!
 
2013-03-13 02:49:45 PM

KarmicDisaster: Weaver95: Petey4335: Weaver95: August11: What the hell is taking him so long? Put on the gown and get on the balcony! Sheesh.

they had to put the mind control parasite on first.

So, we're going to get a 15 year rein of this pope, he's going to die by the hands of G'kar and Vir will be the next pope?

pretty much, yeah.

He has to write an acceptance speech. Difficulty: in Aramaic.


WITHOUT accidentally summoning a greater daemon of slaanesh.
 
2013-03-13 02:49:48 PM

birchman: How long until pope comes out?


Should be any minute now.
 
2013-03-13 02:49:50 PM

Rev. Skarekroe: FirstNationalBastard: To be fair, all X-Men storylines (with the exception of Grant Morrison's run) have been horrible since the mid-80s.

You didn't like Whedon's or Ellis's?  Or whoever's writing "Wolverine And The X-Men"?


shiat, I forgot Whedon's Astonishing X-Men.

Hated everything on Astonishing after he left, though.

/and Peter David's X-Factor gets a special pass, since it's too good to be an X-Title.
 
2013-03-13 02:49:55 PM

germ78: allegedman: QUICK SOMEBODY STAMPEDE CATTLE THROUGH THE VATICAN

I'm sure lots of Catholics rushed into St. Peter's Basilica upon hearing the news.


That would be sheep, though, yeah?
 
2013-03-13 02:49:56 PM
So with pope palpatane out of office does it void the get out of hell free cards he gave to all the kiddy farking priest ?
 
2013-03-13 02:50:00 PM

Onkel Buck: Endive Wombat: what do they use to make the smoke white?

.

Protestants


That's a month in the very pits of hell for you.
 
2013-03-13 02:50:01 PM

neritz: Lost Thought 00: AngryDragon: MNguy: neritz:

Acceptable, but the butt hurt will be much greater with a black one.

/non-Catholic here.


Non-practicing Catholic here.  Chance of black Pope = <0%  Latin = 3%  Old white guy = 96.7%

I can live with that if the "old white guy" is a Jesuit.  That is the only hope that the Catholic Church has any real upheaval and modernization.  Real modernization, not Vatican II (ugh)

Don't hold your breath. The church would rather die than modernize.

Sounds Republican.


There's a difference between Republican and conservative.
 
2013-03-13 02:50:03 PM

ExpressPork: Is there some kind of doomsday prophecy related to a pope named Peter?


Well there's old one, that's completely fabricated it wasn't ever made by the man it's attributed to, that says the last pope will be named Petrus Romanus, aka Peter the Roman.
 
2013-03-13 02:50:05 PM
what kind of sick, secret things do you think is going on now behind those curtains?
 
2013-03-13 02:50:06 PM

VvonderJesus: "The new Pope is-"

*START STATIC*


i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-13 02:50:06 PM

VvonderJesus: "The new Pope is David..."

*TiVo sound*

 
2013-03-13 02:50:15 PM

GAT_00: germ78: allegedman: QUICK SOMEBODY STAMPEDE CATTLE THROUGH THE VATICAN

I'm sure lots of Catholics rushed into St. Peter's Basilica upon hearing the news.

Most of Rome is en route I suspect.  That's actually why they're delaying.

Which makes it a perfect time for a thoughtful terrorist to make his name.


I think I read a book about that once. They turned it into a horrible movie.
 
2013-03-13 02:50:20 PM

chrylis: Nothing about the office, but I'm pretty sure the word "papa" shows up once or twice.


Perhaps depending on the translation, if they translate Aramaic 'abba' into Greek or Latin. And here's where belief runs off the rails of provability - my Master Mason friend insisted that the verse about the 'keys to the Kingdom of Heaven' that Catholics use as the foundation for the papacy was not in original texts, and was inserted by human transcribers later.
 
2013-03-13 02:50:25 PM
Broncos sign Wes Welker
 
2013-03-13 02:50:27 PM

This text is now purple: Edwardo17: Can you imagine if the Church ended up selecting a moderate or even - gasp - a reformer?

JPII only died like 5 years ago. He was a reformer.


In many ways I'd agree; he certainly did a lot to popularize the image of the Church in non-Christian nations, and he did make some fairly inclusive arguments about ending the divide between science and faith, but JP himself was a doctrinaire conservative; I wish I could find the quote, but for now I'll paraphrase: he was once overheard complaining about modern Catholic views on contraception and abortion, "You can't pick and choose", he apparently said, "You either accept it all, or you reject it". Don't get me wrong, I liked John Paul, but when I say reformer, I'm talking more along the lines of Paul VI. Does that make sense?
 
2013-03-13 02:50:28 PM

ExpressPork: bluorangefyre: God help us if its (a) that guy from Ghana who's named Peter

I've seen this said a few times in this thread.  Is there some kind of doomsday prophecy related to a pope named Peter?


oh my, a blah president and a blah pope. heads would explode.
 
2013-03-13 02:50:59 PM
... what's a pope?
 
2013-03-13 02:50:59 PM
So, who did the most convincing job to the College of Cardinals that he'd never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, ever snitch?
 
2013-03-13 02:50:59 PM
I would love to see the black cardinal walk out. Their collective faces would look like the townsfolk did when Sheriff Bart rode up on Rock Ridge.
 
2013-03-13 02:51:01 PM
America elected a black guy to take the blame for a bad American economy, so why not a black guy to take the blame for all the Catholic church problems? Sounds about right.

"We ulected Pope Nipsy the 1st, and all of a sudden pedophilia broke out!"
 
2013-03-13 02:51:07 PM

blasterz: FizixJunkee:

Me ad.

\don't really know Latin

Damned English speakers can't even keep "to" and "too" straight in other languages


I used Google translator.  I thought the "ad" might be wrong.
 
2013-03-13 02:51:10 PM
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

Pope?  With sweat and young mans balls?

They could at least have gotten Darmok and Jalad to do the pre game music.

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2013-03-13 02:51:11 PM
If THIS would happen.....it would be AWESOME!

lamarzulli.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-13 02:51:17 PM

Lost Thought 00: Broncos sign Wes Welker


Link? Can't find this anywhere.
 
2013-03-13 02:51:22 PM

Lt. Cheese Weasel: Uchiha_Cycliste: Clintoned in the Boobies...  can I say that in a pope thread?

Say 10 Hail Drews and you will be forgiven, my son.


Fark that shiat! Pabst Blue Ribbon!

er, I mean,
Hail Drew full of PAbst
Drunken be thy name
Thy Farkdom done, Thy posts be done
in cali as they are in Kentucky.
give us this day our daily thread
and forgive us our trolling as we forgive those who flame against us.
And lead us not into alcoholism.
-Heineken.
 
2013-03-13 02:51:26 PM
A SECOND POPE HAS HIT THE SOUTH VATICAN!
 
2013-03-13 02:51:28 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: [upload.wikimedia.org image 250x333]

Not impressed.


he's not even mildly amused.
 
2013-03-13 02:51:31 PM

thisone: ExpressPork: bluorangefyre: God help us if its (a) that guy from Ghana who's named Peter

I've seen this said a few times in this thread.  Is there some kind of doomsday prophecy related to a pope named Peter?

oh my, a blah president and a blah pope. heads would explode.


It would make the eventual Armageddon just that much more lol-tacular.
 
2013-03-13 02:51:31 PM

nekom: Is it just me or did that smoke look most definitely black at first, then turn white?


I was going to make a joke about cremating Michael Jackson, but couldn't decide if that went beyond even Fark's boundaries.
 
Displayed 50 of 1550 comments

First | « | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | » | Last

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report