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(Yahoo)   Ancient Egyptian text reveals that before Jesus Christ became an omnipotent omniscient immortal, he was a shape shifter. Apparently some people have a problem with this   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 47
    More: Strange, Egyptian Christian, jesus, Coptic, Pilates, copy pasting, last supper, Maundy Thursday, St. Michael  
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13458 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2013 at 11:50 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-13 11:52:03 AM
16 votes:
possibility one: Jesus was a trickster god, or maybe a trickster god created christianity as a joke that later got outta hand.

possibility two: 'Jesus' was the user name on the account.  the disciples created 'Jesus' as a persona.  they made up a costume, perfected the stage act and then swapped identities around whenever they went into a big town.  But things get too big too fast, and Judas and Peter figure they gotta find a way to calm that shiat down before they ALL end up getting stoned in the town square.  so they get the dumbest, most trusting guy in the pile to assume the persona of Jesus telling him that hey, it's cool...one more big score and they'll all blow town.  the fix is in, they'll get him out of it before he goes down for good.  He just has to play the role and Pilate will rough him up, let him go.   things are going great until the crowd goes nuts.  Pilate took the bribe but to keep the crowd from going all stabby he's got no choice - he HAS to sell 'Jesus' down the river.  So this guy ends up playing the role of his life: the whole deal....whipping, crucifixion, torture...the whole bit.  Judas and Peter are appalled, this wasn't part of the plan but they're in too deep.  they hang around for a bit, not knowing what to do next.  after 'Jesus' is dead, they figure they'd better go get the body because with all this attention someone might go dig up 'Jesus' and see if descriptions match.  if someone figures out 'Jesus' is just an actor playing a role, they'll ALL go down in flames.  they get Mary and the girls to make up a crazy story about angels, haul the body out of town in the dead of night, and bury it in an unmarked grave out in the desert.  then they spend the next 50 years playing up the cult from behind the scenes, Peter lets it go to his head and Judas gets a serious case of the guilts and either hangs himself or the other disciples off him and make it look like a suicide.
2013-03-13 11:28:27 AM
13 votes:
The discovery of the text doesn't mean these events happened, but rather that some people living at the time appear to have believed in them, said Roelof van den Broek, of Utrecht University in the Netherlands

So, kind of like the other texts out there?
2013-03-13 12:26:17 PM
5 votes:
Not only a shape shifter, but also a time traveler.

img41.imageshack.us
2013-03-13 12:03:32 PM
5 votes:
Dies and comes back: Check
Doesn't always look the same: Check
Preaches love and tolerance: Check
Losses his shiat when people are assholes: Check
Always hanging out with companions: Check
Little Blue Box: ????
2013-03-13 12:39:17 PM
4 votes:

Master Sphincter: I'm all for fun, but all this blasphemy is really unnecessary. What if you are wrong? You are willing to risk your salvation for a few chuckles? If this doesn't make you rethink your "humor" maybe heaven isn't for you anyway:

"I am the Lord your God, creator of heaven and earth. The wicked who take my name in vain shall wander in darkness for an eternity" Leviticus:69

 And this:
"The ways of the wicked attract the vanity of men. Do not as they do, but as they do not do" Leviticus: 69-A


Dude, really? Your deity is the quintessential Negligent Parent of monumental proportions. Knowingly lets an agent of evil into the garden of paradise, knowingly leaves his "beloved children" with said agent of evil, then has the audacity to blame everybody else for the product of his own neglect when they are corrupted in their naivety. Does your god accept even a single shred of responsibility for his own neglect? You know what? In my imperfect state, I could have done better then that. Since your "All-powerful and Ever-loving God" apparently couldn't, he is obviously less than your holy book makes him out to be, and therefore, false. In fact, he falls far short of the level of responsibility we humans expect of even young, new parents, under penalty of law. As such, he is unworthy of worship.

Period.
2013-03-13 12:15:29 PM
4 votes:

Theaetetus: CapeFearCadaver: The discovery of the text doesn't mean these events happened, but rather that some people living at the time appear to have believed in them, said Roelof van den Broek, of Utrecht University in the Netherlands

So, kind of like the other texts out there?

No, of course not. Thosetexts are absolutely true and the Word of God.


New text is discovered. Does it contradict the current version of biblical teachings?

Yes - It's heretic, and has no value other than a historical curiousity.
No - This confirms that the bible is true! Glory, glory hallelujah!
2013-03-13 12:00:05 PM
4 votes:
At the Nicean Council the Coptics and Aryans were basically shouted down by the other sects (probably to curry favor with Rome) and this is when the story of Jesus took on supernatural characteristics. Until then then the majority of The Jesus Movement considered Jesus a holy man, but a man nonetheless.
2013-03-13 12:16:28 PM
3 votes:
you know, being raised Roman Catholic I was raised more on the jist of the Bible rather than its actual text, but this passage leapt screaming out at me when I read it the other day:

Mark 6:
Jesus left there and went to his hometown, accompanied by his disciples. 2When the Sabbath came, he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were amazed.
"Where did this man get these things?" they asked. "What's this wisdom that has been given him? What are these remarkable miracles he is performing? 3Isn't this the carpenter? Isn't this Mary's son and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas and Simon? Aren't his sisters here with us?" And they took offense at him.


Having read that I find it utterly remarkable tht in the 2,000 year history of Christian tradtion, that nobody seems to have ever written a gospel that suggested that Judas Iscariot, the betrayer of Jesus, was one and the same as Judas, Jesus' kid brother.  I mean the dynamic of that relationship would make such a compelling psychological drama, it's strange no sect or cult ever siezed on it.  and Jesus had SISTERS? Can you imagine what dating one of them must have been like?

(yeah I know the RC church's official line is that he was an only child and his Momma somehow remained a virgin even after having it, but that's so pants-on-head stupid that like Most Catholics I just point and laugh when someone brings that up)
2013-03-13 12:08:08 PM
3 votes:
FTFA:  A newly deciphered Egyptian text, dating back almost 1,200 years...

The Gospels in the New Testament were written closer to 1,900, to 2,000 years ago - still within the lifetimes of some of the people mentioned in them. This manuscript would have been written around 700-900 AD, long after the events took place and centuries after the deaths anybody who was around then and could dispute its veracity.

in short, fanfic until proven otherwise.
2013-03-13 11:59:59 AM
3 votes:
The discovery of the text doesn't mean these events happened, but rather that some people living at the time appear to have believed in them, saidRoelof van den Broek, of Utrecht University in the Netherlands, who published the translation in the book "Pseudo-Cyril of Jerusalem on the Life and the"(Brill, 2013).

Well, no...of course not. You're not going to just automatically believe a bunch of wildly implausible ancient text is TRUE. That would be crazy...

i76.photobucket.com
xcv
2013-03-13 02:36:11 PM
2 votes:

Source4leko: Precision Boobery: Not only a shape shifter, but also a time traveler.

[img41.imageshack.us image 500x570]

That is.... interesting.  Thanks.


It's also BS. Just looking at the first one, Horus, wasn't born to a virgin, his mom, Isis, had him after she had sex with zombie Osiris. Plenty of weaknesses about the Jesus legend without having to make shiat up.
2013-03-13 01:05:29 PM
2 votes:

gadian: Magorn: (yeah I know the RC church's official line is that he was an only child and his Momma somehow remained a virgin even after having it, but that's so pants-on-head stupid that like Most Catholics I just point and laugh when someone brings that up)

The bible mentions James, Joseph, Simon, and Judas as Jesus's brothers.  I don't believe it has ever been argued that Jesus was an only child.  Only that Mary remained without sin, which isn't the same as staying a virgin.


Sadly, the official Catholic line is that Mary is the "ever-virgin mother of God"  which, as you note is simply stupid, despite it having been around as a "thing" since the early  centuries AD.  It basis, I think anyway, is the basic misogyny that has permeated the church for centuries, as best summed up by this 4th century  Pope's take on the subject: "

Pope Siricius I


"You had good reason to be horrified at the thought that another birth might issue from the same virginal womb from which Christ was born according to the flesh. For the Lord Jesus would never have chosen to be born of a virgin if he had ever judged that she would be so incontinent as to contaminate with the seed of human intercourse the birthplace of the Lord's body, that court of the eternal king" (Letter to Bishop Anysius[A.D. 392]).
 "

which translated into the modern vulgar reads roughly:

"EWWWWWW girl parts.  Sex is just icky"
2013-03-13 12:48:46 PM
2 votes:

Master Sphincter: I'm all for fun, but all this blasphemy is really unnecessary. What if you are wrong? You are willing to risk your salvation for a few chuckles? If this doesn't make you rethink your "humor" maybe heaven isn't for you anyway:

"I am the Lord your God, creator of heaven and earth. The wicked who take my name in vain shall wander in darkness for an eternity" Leviticus:69

 And this:
"The ways of the wicked attract the vanity of men. Do not as they do, but as they do not do" Leviticus: 69-A


Leviticus, eh? Some of the juiciest stuff in the bible is there.

There's human sacrifice: Leviticus 27:28-29
God will kill you and your siblings if your parents refuse to convert: Leviticus 26:21-22
God condones slavery - as long as it's not Jew on Jew slavery: Leviticus 25:44-46
Etc. etc., including the death penalty for all sorts of ridiculous things like beard cutting or talking back to your parents.

Even if I did believe that the christian god was real I'd have to be either completely ignorant of him or an amoral son of a biatch to actually worship that evil piece of garbage.
2013-03-13 12:47:44 PM
2 votes:

Master Sphincter: You are willing to risk your salvation for a few chuckles?


Well, yes, actually. I'm only using the free will Eve scored for me thanks to that "apple" deal back in the day.

/the serpent never lied.
2013-03-13 12:37:33 PM
2 votes:

Master Sphincter: I'm all for fun, but all this blasphemy is really unnecessary. What if you are wrong? You are willing to risk your salvation for a few chuckles? If this doesn't make you rethink your "humor" maybe heaven isn't for you anyway:

"I am the Lord your God, creator of heaven and earth. The wicked who take my name in vain shall wander in darkness for an eternity" Leviticus:69

 And this:
"The ways of the wicked attract the vanity of men. Do not as they do, but as they do not do" Leviticus: 69-A


What if God thinks he'd rather hang out with independent thinkers with a sense of humor instead of a bunch of cringing sycophants?

Also, as per the rest of Pascal's Wager, it could be that God doesn't like a smartass.
2013-03-13 12:36:08 PM
2 votes:
1200 years ago is practically "current events" by Egyptian standards.  Ancient it is not.
2013-03-13 12:29:29 PM
2 votes:

Crewmannumber6: Magorn: Having read that I find it utterly remarkable tht in the 2,000 year history of Christian tradtion, that nobody seems to have ever written a gospel that suggested that Judas Iscariot, the betrayer of Jesus, was one and the same as Judas, Jesus' kid brother.

I'm not certain, but I don't think it's the same Judas, that's why they differentiate him by calling him Judas Iscariot. I do know that Jesus' brother James is not the apostle James.


Historically that's the accepted  tradition, but given all the other lines that blurred in the century or so between the actual events and thier first written versions, I'm a little surprised those characters din't get combined by someone looking to amp up the drama of the story.  Hell there's an entire Persian religion called Mandeanism  based on the idea that Jesus and John the Baptist were enlightened masters of their gnostic sect (which is why they had the title "Nasorean) and that Whereas John was a revered and worshipped figure for them, Jesus was regarded as an evil betrayer who broke sacred oaths by spilling the sect's secrets to the masses and making himself out to be a god
2013-03-13 12:20:39 PM
2 votes:

Magorn: Having read that I find it utterly remarkable tht in the 2,000 year history of Christian tradtion, that nobody seems to have ever written a gospel that suggested that Judas Iscariot, the betrayer of Jesus, was one and the same as Judas, Jesus' kid brother.


I'm not certain, but I don't think it's the same Judas, that's why they differentiate him by calling him Judas Iscariot. I do know that Jesus' brother James is not the apostle James.
2013-03-13 12:17:20 PM
2 votes:

Weaver95: redlegrick: I'm on board with option #2. And I can see that done up as a screenplay. My only question is, who'd direct it?

let me finish writing the screenplay first, then we'll start shopping for a director.


John Waters
2013-03-13 12:10:19 PM
2 votes:

spentmiles: "Pilate and his wife both have visions that night that show an eagle (representing Jesus) being killed."

I knew Jesus was a'merican!  fark yeah!


The shape-shifter part actually answers another long-standing riddle...namely, how a blue-eyed, flaxen haired, square-jawed, red blooded American white man was able to blend in with a bunch of dirty Arabian looking people. He just shape-shifted to look like one of them so he could go undercover.
2013-03-13 11:44:30 AM
2 votes:

CapeFearCadaver: The discovery of the text doesn't mean these events happened, but rather that some people living at the time appear to have believed in them, said Roelof van den Broek, of Utrecht University in the Netherlands

So, kind of like the other texts out there?


No, of course not. Thosetexts are absolutely true and the Word of God.
2013-03-14 11:12:56 AM
1 votes:
reposted:
They should teach this to children in Christian/Catholic schools.  (I know a Catholic is a Christian, but just try calling a Christian a Catholic and get ready for some snarkyness or a head implosion if the Christian is a fundamentalist)

It makes Jesus like one of the Uncanny X-Men, which makes him cooler to the kiddies, so, totally awesome right?

Except Jesus is like mystique, and she is one of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, so a bad guy, so, it might confuse the children.

She also switched sides and became a good guy, so a lesson about redemption. But then she became a villain again, so not very Jesusy Jesusish Jesus-like.  But then she was a good guy again...

But she continued to change sides more often than a professional wrestler, and everyone knows a flip-flopper is bad, (I'm looking at you Mit. Sorry, you're just the recent target bud. Great smile, great teeth, great hair, what went wrong?).

So Mystique is a super wealthy, Mormon politician, just like Jesus.

We should ask the Pope.


GIS for Jesus Mystique:
i485.photobucket.com
2013-03-14 06:31:13 AM
1 votes:
Mark 16:12 says "...he appeared in another form unto two of them..." Luke 24 starting with verse13 appears to mention the same situation and also says they did not recognize him.
2013-03-13 06:59:28 PM
1 votes:

Weaver95: possibility two


I buy that...

Fits with the whole 'Jesus as paramilitary revolutionary' concept that has Jesus leading a revolutionary group/army which is why he was able to enter the temple and trash it when the temple was a massive area with thousands of priests, guards and worshippers that would've kicked one rowdy guy out PDQ.
2013-03-13 05:21:41 PM
1 votes:
"Then the Jews said to Judas: How shall we arrest him [Jesus], for he does not have a single shape but his appearance changes. Sometimes he is ruddy, sometimes he is white, sometimes he is red, sometimes he is wheat coloured, sometimes he is pallid like ascetics, sometimes he is a youth, sometimes an old man ..."

AH HAAA!!!! I KNEW IT!!! JESUS WAS A VAMPIRE!!!!

www.iiipublishing.com
2013-03-13 04:23:25 PM
1 votes:

mikaloyd: Ancient egypt ended several hundred years BC

So this is very much newsworthy.


But the story of a Jesus type person born to a virgin mother and god father, the three wise men and all those other attributes of Jesus came before with Osiris, Mithras, and a whole platoon of other gods. Jesus wasn't the only virgin-birthed, son-of-god, martyred being in the pantheon of gods. He wasn't the first and he wasn't the last, just one of many.
2013-03-13 03:09:00 PM
1 votes:

Weaver95: possibility one: Jesus was a trickster god, or maybe a trickster god created christianity as a joke that later got outta hand.

possibility two: 'Jesus' was the user name on the account.  the disciples created 'Jesus' as a persona.  they made up a costume, perfected the stage act and then swapped identities around whenever they went into a big town.  But things get too big too fast, and Judas and Peter figure they gotta find a way to calm that shiat down before they ALL end up getting stoned in the town square.  so they get the dumbest, most trusting guy in the pile to assume the persona of Jesus telling him that hey, it's cool...one more big score and they'll all blow town.  the fix is in, they'll get him out of it before he goes down for good.  He just has to play the role and Pilate will rough him up, let him go.   things are going great until the crowd goes nuts.  Pilate took the bribe but to keep the crowd from going all stabby he's got no choice - he HAS to sell 'Jesus' down the river.  So this guy ends up playing the role of his life: the whole deal....whipping, crucifixion, torture...the whole bit.  Judas and Peter are appalled, this wasn't part of the plan but they're in too deep.  they hang around for a bit, not knowing what to do next.  after 'Jesus' is dead, they figure they'd better go get the body because with all this attention someone might go dig up 'Jesus' and see if descriptions match.  if someone figures out 'Jesus' is just an actor playing a role, they'll ALL go down in flames.  they get Mary and the girls to make up a crazy story about angels, haul the body out of town in the dead of night, and bury it in an unmarked grave out in the desert.  then they spend the next 50 years playing up the cult from behind the scenes, Peter lets it go to his head and Judas gets a serious case of the guilts and either hangs himself or the other disciples off him and make it look like a suicide.



Awesome

/and more plausable
2013-03-13 02:52:54 PM
1 votes:

Weaver95: possibility one: Jesus was a trickster god, or maybe a trickster god created christianity as a joke that later got outta hand.

possibility two: 'Jesus' was the user name on the account.  the disciples created 'Jesus' as a persona.  they made up a costume, perfected the stage act and then swapped identities around whenever they went into a big town.  But things get too big too fast, and Judas and Peter figure they gotta find a way to calm that shiat down before they ALL end up getting stoned in the town square.  so they get the dumbest, most trusting guy in the pile to assume the persona of Jesus telling him that hey, it's cool...one more big score and they'll all blow town.  the fix is in, they'll get him out of it before he goes down for good.  He just has to play the role and Pilate will rough him up, let him go.   things are going great until the crowd goes nuts.  Pilate took the bribe but to keep the crowd from going all stabby he's got no choice - he HAS to sell 'Jesus' down the river.  So this guy ends up playing the role of his life: the whole deal....whipping, crucifixion, torture...the whole bit.  Judas and Peter are appalled, this wasn't part of the plan but they're in too deep.  they hang around for a bit, not knowing what to do next.  after 'Jesus' is dead, they figure they'd better go get the body because with all this attention someone might go dig up 'Jesus' and see if descriptions match.  if someone figures out 'Jesus' is just an actor playing a role, they'll ALL go down in flames.  they get Mary and the girls to make up a crazy story about angels, haul the body out of town in the dead of night, and bury it in an unmarked grave out in the desert.  then they spend the next 50 years playing up the cult from behind the scenes, Peter lets it go to his head and Judas gets a serious case of the guilts and either hangs himself or the other disciples off him and make it look like a suicide.


...I like your version 2 far, far better than almost everything else suggested in any context.
2013-03-13 02:05:49 PM
1 votes:

KarmicDisaster: There are several mentions in the King James Bible where Jesus was not recognized even by his closest associates.


1) Mary Magdalene comes to the tomb and thinks that he is the gardener.

Did he have a bandana on?
2) When the disciples are out fishing, they don't recognize Jesus.
Did he have a bandana on?
3) Two disciples meet Him on the road to Emmaus, travel with Him and talk with Him, and do not recognize Him until they eat dinner with Him.
Did he have a bandana on?

Plus, sometimes we all look the same with a bandana on.
2013-03-13 02:00:54 PM
1 votes:
There are several mentions in the King James Bible where Jesus was not recognized even by his closest associates.


1) Mary Magdalene comes to the tomb and thinks that he is the gardener.

2) When the disciples are out fishing, they don't recognize Jesus.

3) Two disciples meet Him on the road to Emmaus, travel with Him and talk with Him, and do not recognize Him until they eat dinner with Him.
2013-03-13 01:39:13 PM
1 votes:

Bravo Two: Molavian: Weaver95: Jesus was a trickster god, or maybe a trickster god created christianity as a joke that later got outta hand

That f*cking Loki.

he should stick to being dumped on by snake venom if he knows what's good for him.


Eh, Loki would have been a bit far away in trolling the Visigoths and all those other folks up from Germany north, so no worries re him.

Now, Enki on the other hand... :D  Or maybe Isis or Set (for the Egyptians) or ol' Hermes (for the Greeks and Romans under his "Mercury" name)...

/oddly enough, there are not really any true trickster deities in Mesopotamian mythos, Enki is about as close as one comes...pretty much most of the Old Gods were DEITY-ING IS SRS BUSINESS and their antagonists were being deity-level supervillains, Enki was pretty much the "sit down and drink your goddamn tea" god who had kind of a soft spot for humans, and would sneak gifts and/or warnings about smitings to his favourites...he's the god who warned the Sumerian "Noah-prototype" about the world flood, for instance
2013-03-13 01:26:16 PM
1 votes:

Valiente: Crewmannumber6: At the Nicean Council the Coptics and Aryans were basically shouted down by the other sects (probably to curry favor with Rome) and this is when the story of Jesus took on supernatural characteristics. Until then then the majority of The Jesus Movement considered Jesus a holy man, but a man nonetheless.

Uh, not to be pedantic, but it was the "Arian" heresy, not "Aryan". It was named after Arius. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arius). Arius was yet another Egyptian Christian; it's not surprising that unusual ideas about Jeebus would arise in that environment, as they never really stopped arising.


Fun Fact: the "barbarians" we'd later call the Visigoths, and Vandals,  far from being pagans were actually Arianist Christians, and their attacks on Rome and North Africa were less marauding plunder expeditions and more like a holy crusade aimed at wiping out the Romanist heretics  and thier seige of the North African city of Hippo was specifically an effort to capture and kill the Romanist heretic -in-chief we now call St Agustine
2013-03-13 01:25:29 PM
1 votes:

Precision Boobery: Not only a shape shifter, but also a time traveler.

[img41.imageshack.us image 500x570]


The generous interpretation is that the early church, and in particular Matthew (who is solely responsible for the star in the east/three wise men narrative) appropriated popular long-standing mythological themes and attributed them to Jesus. This wouldn't be surprising: it's pretty clear that Matthew made up the Massacre of the Innocents out of whole cloth (possibly to deliberately echo the birth of Moses), and the Jews picked up all kinds of stuff during the Babylonian exile.

Think of it as the ancient world's equivalent of attributing everything funny on Facebook to George Carlin or Mark Twain.
2013-03-13 01:10:51 PM
1 votes:

Precision Boobery: Not only a shape shifter, but also a time traveler.

[img41.imageshack.us image 500x570]


He shows up every now and again to see if the humans are ready to evolve and gets killed for his efforts every time.  I'm sure if he poked his head into this day and age he'd be toast just the same. Today's Christians, Muslims and Jews don't want to be told to get along and just grow up already.
2013-03-13 01:05:09 PM
1 votes:
I just read Wikipedia's page on the First Council of Nicaea and was surprised to see that there's no evidence they hand-picked the gospels at that time. I always thought they had.
2013-03-13 12:50:03 PM
1 votes:
Siddhis.

Jesus most certainly would have attained them.  E.g.::

1. PARKAYA PRAVESH - entering one's soul in the body of some other person.

2. HAADI VIDYA - a person neither feels hungry nor thirsty and he can remain without eating food or drinking water for several days at a stretch. Several Yogis of the Himalayas, remain engrossed in deep Sadhanas for months and years without eating or drinking anything.

 3. KAADI VIDYA - person shall not feel cold even if he sits in the snow laden mountains and shall not feel hot even if he sits in the fire. Thus a Sadhak can perform incessant penance without being affected by change of weather or seasons.

4. MADALASA VIDYA - a person becomes capable of increasing or decreasing the size of his body according to his wish.  Through this siddhi one may enter into stone or change the density in one's body, enabling one to pass through solid matter. Mahima Siddhi - The ability to increase the size of one's body, ultimately enveloping the universe.

5. VAYU GAMAN SIDDHI Through this Siddhi a person can become capable of flying in the skies and traveling from one place to another in just a few seconds. The Jain scriptures speak of Jain ascetics who could fly from place to place in a few seconds.

6. KANAKDHARA SIDDHI One can acquire immense and unlimited wealth through this Siddhi. It's said that once Shankaracharya saw a very poor and destitute woman and with the help of the Kanakdhara Yantra he showered gold in her house.

7. PRAKYA SADHANA Through this Sadhana a yogi can direct his disciple to take birth from the womb of a woman, who is childless or cannot bear children. Several Yogis have thus blessed infertile women with children. Swami Vishuddhanand had accomplished this Sadhana and had used it to bring happiness into the lives of several women. But today only two or three persons are accomplished in this Sadhana.

8. SURYA VIGYAN - one substance can be transformed into another through the medium of sun rays. Swami Vishudhananda had demonstrated the miracles of this science about 50-60 years ago, by transforming a paper into rose and a cotton ball into gold, otherwise it has become almost extinct.

9. MRIT SANJIVANI VIDYA - Through it even a dead person can be brought back to life. This practice may seem to be a myth but it had been used by Guru Gorakhnath several times. Today only a few persons have practical knowledge of this Vidya.
2013-03-13 12:49:16 PM
1 votes:
Yes, Jesus was initiated into the Hermetic mysteries in Egypt. That is the thesis of The Magdalen Manuscript.  Now the text found at Nag Hammadi in 1945 are sometimes called the Gnostic Gospels (including the Gospel Of Thomas)
2013-03-13 12:42:12 PM
1 votes:

Crewmannumber6: At the Nicean Council the Coptics and Aryans were basically shouted down by the other sects (probably to curry favor with Rome) and this is when the story of Jesus took on supernatural characteristics. Until then then the majority of The Jesus Movement considered Jesus a holy man, but a man nonetheless.


Uh, not to be pedantic, but it was the "Arian" heresy, not "Aryan". It was named after Arius. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arius). Arius was yet another Egyptian Christian; it's not surprising that unusual ideas about Jeebus would arise in that environment, as they never really stopped arising.
2013-03-13 12:34:42 PM
1 votes:

TheXerox: FTFA:  A newly deciphered Egyptian text, dating back almost 1,200 years...

The Gospels in the New Testament were written closer to 1,900, to 2,000 years ago - still within the lifetimes of some of the people mentioned in them. This manuscript would have been written around 700-900 AD, long after the events took place and centuries after the deaths anybody who was around then and could dispute its veracity.

in short, fanfic until proven otherwise.



Actually, no one knows exactly when they were written and estimates date up to the second century. If they were all written within the lifetimes of the people within those stories you might expect to see less inconsistency between the different versions. It's generally accepted that they were most likely written years or decades apart, one following another.
2013-03-13 12:15:57 PM
1 votes:
2013-03-13 12:09:14 PM
1 votes:

PreMortem: Weaver95: possibility one: Jesus was a trickster god, or maybe a trickster god created christianity as a joke that later got outta hand.

possibility two: 'Jesus' was the user name on the account.  the disciples created 'Jesus' as a persona.  they made up a costume, perfected the stage act and then swapped identities around whenever they went into a big town.

That would explain the Jesus sightings after he was crucified.


my theory fits a lot of the facts in evidence.
2013-03-13 12:09:10 PM
1 votes:

Weaver95: possibility one: Jesus was a trickster god, or maybe a trickster god created christianity as a joke that later got outta hand.

possibility two: 'Jesus' was the user name on the account.  the disciples created 'Jesus' as a persona...



Possibility two seems like the most plausible jesus story i've heard...
2013-03-13 12:00:28 PM
1 votes:
There we tons of different different sins on Jesus before all the different factions murdered the shiat out of each other. That aint new.
A novel branch is interesting, but why would people get bent out of shape.
2013-03-13 11:59:17 AM
1 votes:
Makes as much sense as the rest of it.
2013-03-13 11:56:26 AM
1 votes:
Dread Pirate Jesus.
2013-03-13 11:51:10 AM
1 votes:

CapeFearCadaver: The discovery of the text doesn't mean these events happened, but rather that some people living at the time appear to have believed in them, said Roelof van den Broek, of Utrecht University in the Netherlands

So, kind of like the other texts out there?


dammit.

Was going with: So like the rest of the Biblical texts?  But yours is fine...

/kicks foot in the dirt and walks away
2013-03-13 11:50:18 AM
1 votes:
I can't wait until Mel Gibson makes a movie about it.
 
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