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(Irish Central)   How America has Farked up St Patrick's Day (with pictures)   (irishcentral.com) divider line 59
    More: Obvious, St. Patrick's Day, Irish American  
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15028 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2013 at 12:43 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-13 11:53:22 AM
6 votes:
I think we Americans perfected St. Patrick's Day.

We get blotto drunk, eat corned beef and cabbage, listen to dropkick murphys type music and drink McDonald's shamrock shakes.
2013-03-13 01:04:31 PM
4 votes:
What is the difference between St. Patrick's Day and MLK Day?
On St. Patrick's Day everyone wishes they were Irish

/Don't forget to tip your waitress
2013-03-13 01:02:12 PM
4 votes:
I celebrate by going into the woods with a big wooden stick (shillelagh) and beat the crap out of some poor snake.
2013-03-13 12:00:35 PM
4 votes:
WAR ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!1!



Mobilize Bill O'Reilly's 101st Fighting Pinheads!!
2013-03-13 11:44:37 AM
4 votes:

Pocket Ninja: So, some idiot blog is going to talk about how someone is farking something up by using a slide show of nothing but stock images.

Blimey.


10 Ways Bloggers Get Their Panties In a Twist over Mundane Things
2013-03-13 04:12:36 PM
3 votes:
Did anyone else notice that the holidays go "alcohol, then candy, then alcohol, then candy," and so on throughout the year? kind of odd lol
2013-03-13 02:24:16 PM
3 votes:
www.wikitree.com
2013-03-13 01:22:48 PM
3 votes:
An Irishmen leaves a bar....Hey it could happen
2013-03-13 01:04:15 PM
3 votes:
Reflections from an American who's grand parents stepped off the boat from Ireland.

St Paddy's has become like New Years Eve.  It's amateur hour for drinking.  Some of you just visit this magical world of whiskey and Guinness once a year.  Some of us live there year round.

You can find better quality in Guinness in Dublin than you can here in New York.  Incidentally the amount of alcohol that a native of Ireland can consume is staggering.  It's up there with the Russians.  Do not try to keep up unless you are prepared.  Even coming from their stock I have a hard time keeping up.

I'm perfectly ok with large numbers of college age women who want to hammered in honor of the birth place of my ancestors.  I believe my ancestors would also approve.

Jameson Whiskey is owned by the French.

An Irish bar is not just a bar with shamrocks on the walls.  If someone hasn't ranted at you about "The Cause" or "The Troubles" then it's not really an Irish bar.

All Murphies are mud farmers and pig rapists.  That's a fact.

Most people who grew up with traditional Irish families do not throw up.  We know how to drink and have a good time.  Throwing up is a bad time and a waste of alcohol.  Offer does not apply to speaking correctly or standing up straight.
2013-03-13 12:57:35 PM
3 votes:
We should send the author a box of snakes.
2013-03-13 12:26:19 PM
3 votes:
I look forward to early May when this ass clown will have the chance to biatch about Cinco de Mayo.
2013-03-13 06:30:59 PM
2 votes:
I wear Orange... just to keep things lively.
2013-03-13 04:33:44 PM
2 votes:

LazerFish: Did anyone else notice that the holidays go "alcohol, then candy, then alcohol, then candy," and so on throughout the year? kind of odd lol


I'm a little lost.  Holidays can be different for everyone, but pretty much:
(United States)
New Years: Alcohol
Martin Luther King, Jr.: Dreams
Valentine's Day: Expectation Indifference
President's Day: New Cars
St. Patrick's Day: Alcohol
Easter: pastel sucks
Memorial Day: Grilled Meat
Flag Day: squid
July 4th: exploding
Labor Day: vacation
Halloween: sluts
Veterans Day: dodge ball
Thanksgiving:  I hate my uncle
Christmas:  credit cards
2013-03-13 03:41:44 PM
2 votes:

karnal: When the Irish say that St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland, what they don't tell you is that he was the only one who saw any snakes!
 [privateislandparty.com image 420x290]


My fave
s12.postimage.org
2013-03-13 02:17:32 PM
2 votes:
3.bp.blogspot.com
2013-03-13 02:16:14 PM
2 votes:

Nana's Vibrator: Why would anyone hate the holiday where 2 people will get in a fistfight over an argument about who's more Irish?
It's always a 1/8th vs. a 1/4, and guaranteed one of them is more Italian than Irish.  Because Boston, that's why.


100% Born in Dublin, family in Dundalk but grew up here, so I'd get my ass kicked there. Besides my fighting stance is the fetal position.
2013-03-13 01:26:44 PM
2 votes:
I used to love St. Patrick's day. I never was one to celebrate by going out and drinking though.


I am very wary of it now though. It is definitely amateur hour.

My story....

About 4 years ago I had to work at 5 am the day after St. Patrick's. My roommate went out with some friends, I went to bed at 8:30 pm. I woke up around midnight to find a strange man taking off his boxer shorts and laying down in the bed next to me. WTF. And of course I had left my phone out in the living room that night...

Got him to put his stupid green "Kiss Me I'm Irish" shirt back on and he went into the kitchen. He was obviously wasted and very docile, thank god. Finally convinced him to go outside and called my roommate to ask her why the hell she let somebody crash at our house. She didn't. Called the cops, they came quickly but not before he was back at the front door, knocking. Oddly enough, that is when I really started to get scared.

When the cops found him, they realized that he was..... my landlord. He still had the key and just let himself in. He was going through a divorce and got too drunk to remember that his life had fallen apart, so I think that he thought that I was his ex-wife. It was incredibly awkward, especially a few days later when his mom came by looking for his lost glasses. She even asked me to look under the bed for them.

I moved out of that place as soon as I could.
2013-03-13 12:53:28 PM
2 votes:
Then, you take a perfectly good piece of meat, boil it with cabbage until the house smells like dirty laundry, eat it, and give yourself tomorrow's diarrhea.
2013-03-13 12:51:42 PM
2 votes:
Yeah, but the best part of St Patrick's Day is watching all the die hard atheist posers lining up to celebrate a religious holiday. It really shows how they stick to their principles.
2013-03-13 12:50:07 PM
2 votes:

Truther: Anyone else notice their 10 reasons were only 9?


I counted 8.

i171.photobucket.com

Finish the farking story, man!
2013-03-13 12:46:15 PM
2 votes:
FTA  - March 17 doesn't give you a license to endorse a stereotype and insult a nation


This is correct, this one day of the year doesn't give you license to do all that.

However us Irish acting how we do the other 364 days of the year does.
2013-03-13 11:53:12 AM
2 votes:
Yeesh....I bet the author is a blast at parties.
2013-03-13 03:48:24 PM
1 votes:

shotbyadam: Anyone who says that the drinking stereotypes aren't nice has NEVER been to Ireland. My god those folks know how to drink. Hell, they even serve beer in vending machines over there! I remember I was in Dublin once and was having dinner with a friend. There was a table next to us with a young couple finishing their dinner and they had an empty bottle of wine at the table. I asked if they enjoyed the wine and the guy said, "Oh, I wasn't drinking. I'm on some medication right now so I can't drink this week." The fact is, it was the 20-something GIRL who drank an ENTIRE BOTTLE OF WINE at dinner. So when people tell me that drinking stereotypes are rude and insensitive, they are farking morons.


Wine is only sold in single serve containers
2013-03-13 03:34:34 PM
1 votes:

Shostie: Goddamn that was whiney.


You mean O'Whiney.
2013-03-13 03:11:49 PM
1 votes:

12monkeys: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 850x613]




My great great grandfather was in the landlord killing business. The rifle he used hangs over my cousins fireplace.
2013-03-13 03:10:48 PM
1 votes:

Crewmannumber6: Nana's Vibrator: Why would anyone hate the holiday where 2 people will get in a fistfight over an argument about who's more Irish?
It's always a 1/8th vs. a 1/4, and guaranteed one of them is more Italian than Irish.  Because Boston, that's why.

100% Born in Dublin, family in Dundalk but grew up here, so I'd get my ass kicked there. Besides my fighting stance is the fetal position.


You wouldn't have to since you're passive about it, but it'd be high comedy to see someone try and start with you and then have to respond to "I was born in Dublin"

/and hope it's not "Belfast"
2013-03-13 02:36:16 PM
1 votes:
When the Irish say that St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland, what they don't tell you is that he was the only one who saw any snakes!
 privateislandparty.com
2013-03-13 02:34:25 PM
1 votes:
I know I'll be having fun at Finnegan's Wake. ;D

/for a dead guy, he can really screw!
//Oh, wait. He wasn't dead? Awww....
///<.<....>.>....<.<
2013-03-13 02:28:58 PM
1 votes:
St. Patrick's Day is rubbish. Actually, scratch that---Ireland is rubbish. At best all the place ever was was West Britain, a backwater where parish-pump politicians pretend they rule a country that has taken her place among the nations, mediocrities write "Irish literature" nobody reads and films nobody watches with taxpayer money, while everyone else "emigrates by television," watching East British TV as a form of escapism and to get news from real countries where important things actually happen, and wonders what was so bad about direct rule from Westminster, if all independence got them was direct rule from Brussels.

At worst it was East Germany, where the Roman Catholic Church (playing the Socialist Unity Party) was until a few years ago effectively above any meaningful law, and through control of the schools and media censorship to a degree almost unheard of west of the Elbe, systematically brainwashed the population to make sure things stayed that way. The Unionists were right. Home Rule was Rome Rule. As the Roman Catholic Church's influence in Ireland fades, it will get as difficult for the Irish Free State to justify its continued existence as it was for the German Democratic Republic. Nobody benefitted from independence in the end but a few parish-pump politicians and pedophile priests and brothers who got their choice of fresh meat every year and slave women in the Magdalen laundries to wash their vestments.

Either way, anybody with any ambition in life leaves as soon as he can. Reunification hasn't remedied that in the "new provinces" of Germany, and it wouldn't fix it in Ireland. The Irishmen who contributed much of anything to the world canon left Ireland too. My father did few things for me that I am honestly grateful for. The most important was getting himself and his children out of Ireland and staying out.

I will not be observing St. Patrick's Day, which I quickly learned to hate, what with Americans and Canadians expecting me to play the leprechaun. I might raise a glass on July 12, mind you, to toast King William, who by bringing constitutional monarchy as free of Vatican interference as was possible to Ireland (and a Bill of Rights), was one of the best things that ever happened to Ireland.

Till then, God save Elizabeth, Queen of Canada, who's done much more for me than the Sean Bean Bocht ever did. Who knows? Maybe I'll live to toast her grandson William the Fifth, by the Grace of God restored to the throne of the Kingdom of Ireland.
2013-03-13 02:22:01 PM
1 votes:

s1ugg0: Most people who grew up with traditional Irish families do not throw up. We know how to drink and have a good time. Throwing up is a bad time and a waste of alcohol. Offer does not apply to speaking correctly or standing up straight.


Amen to that only quip

s1ugg0: Jameson Whiskey is owned by the French.


Technically all the brews and distillers have been conglomerated into multinational companies now. It's still distilled in Cork though. Just remember to avoid drinking Bushmill, no one should drink that protestant swill.

Jake Havechek: I hear Irish sex is like trying to put a marshmallow boiled potato into a coin slot.


There
2013-03-13 02:08:07 PM
1 votes:

MikeyFuccon: Rent Party: GhettoWinter: CSB/
Was in Dublin for St. Patricks day in '08. The most interesting thing to me was the morning of st. pats you couldn't buy a beer anywhere, all the bars were closed and the convenience stores weren't allowed to sell it until after the parade.  My assumption is they didn't want everyone shiat faced while the world was watching. After the parade though... shenanigans.
/CSB

They're all at Mass.

My arse. Don't forget St. Patrick's is the national holiday, like July 4 in the States. The schools are closed too, along with government offices and most businesses.


Right.  They're all closed.  But the churches aren't as it's a religious holiday  and the pews get full in the mornings.  Preemptive forgiveness of sin, my Irish priest uncle calls it.

And July 4th isn't a holiday here.  Independence Day is.

/ Pet peeve.
2013-03-13 02:00:51 PM
1 votes:
After the asteroid finished off the dinosaurs 65 million years ago, all that were left on earth were simple plant life, insects, some fish, and small, furry, burrowing, creatures.

You know: Irishmen.
2013-03-13 01:56:47 PM
1 votes:

The_Sponge: drongozone: Don't mind St. Patrick's Day so much but I will NEVER drink a green beer. NEVER

Everyone has their price...what is yours?


uh, you're buying?
2013-03-13 01:55:11 PM
1 votes:
www.betcheslovethis.com
2013-03-13 01:50:52 PM
1 votes:
EWreckedSean:

So American's are stupid for shortening Patrick to Patty's instead of Paddy's? Got it.

Yes, they are.  It's been explained why a couple of times.  Are you going to continue to be stupid?

I'll bet you are.
2013-03-13 01:45:14 PM
1 votes:
I hear Irish sex is like trying to put a marshmallow into a coin slot.
2013-03-13 01:40:27 PM
1 votes:
More like 'How America farks up everything.'

Stupid people do stupid things on holidays.

That is why mature adults drink on Tuesdays.
2013-03-13 01:39:56 PM
1 votes:

GungFu: FAIL:

America = St. Patty's Day

Rest of the World = St. Paddy's Day.


So what are you saying here?  That once again, Americans aren't smart enough to get it right?

/ Obvious
2013-03-13 01:34:26 PM
1 votes:

eViLpOpTaRt: St. Patrick's Day is the only saint's day that might be marked with a teeny bikini contest.  Can you imagine one on St. Ignatius's Day, or St. Paul's Day, or St. Rose of Lima's Day?

/been in one


BIE?

I have some Irish heritage, and for the most part I don't do a whole lot on St. Patrick's Day, never really have.  And I've never gone to any of those places that sell green colored beer, or at least if I did I didn't partake because the idea of tinting food that much is just ludicrous.  Give me either a Guinness or some Jameson's and I'll be happy.

This year however I am going to Shamrockfest in DC to see some close friends of mine, the Fighting Jamesons play.  Great band, so check them out sometime.

I do like the bikini contests though, so it's not all bad.
2013-03-13 01:31:29 PM
1 votes:

Onkel Buck: An Irishmen leaves a bar....Hey it could happen



Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is polite?

A: He takes off his hat before beating his wife.
2013-03-13 01:23:51 PM
1 votes:

s1ugg0: Incidentally the amount of alcohol that a native of Ireland can consume is staggering. It's up there with the Russians.


True on beer, where they rank #2 in the world, false on wine and spirits, where they don't even make the top 20. Source.

I've never found the Irish drinking stereotype to be particularly true. Belligerence, yes. Constant drinking, no.
2013-03-13 01:23:17 PM
1 votes:

WhoopAssWayne: Yeah, but the best part of St Patrick's Day is watching all the die hard atheist posers lining up to celebrate a religious holiday. It really shows how they stick to their principles.


As an atheist, let me say this ... Jesus Christ had an amazing message and philosophy that I try to live my life by, even if I don't believe he was a deity. He was the sort of dude that loved people, enjoyed celebrations and turned water into wine. My kind of guy.

Also, I try to be respectful of other people's personal beliefs. So while it may not be a holiday I personal care for, I enjoy having a fun time with my friends who do align themselves that way. It's the same with Cinco de Mayo. I'm not Latin American, but I'll celebrate right along with my friends who are.
2013-03-13 01:20:50 PM
1 votes:

Rent Party: Paddy, not Patty.


Hence Paddywagon
lh4.googleusercontent.com
2013-03-13 01:19:33 PM
1 votes:

Because People in power are Stupid: I celebrate by going into the woods with a big wooden stick (shillelagh) and beat the crap out of some poor snake.


You're thinking of Whacking Day (simpsons.jpg)
2013-03-13 01:18:57 PM
1 votes:
Letting the Irish in  was Amercia's first mistake

/just kiddin, you micks are OK with me
2013-03-13 01:13:26 PM
1 votes:

jaylectricity: [media.irishcentral.com image 419x279]


Jesus... Amy Poehler and Tiny Fey look horrible.
2013-03-13 01:09:00 PM
1 votes:

mjohnson71: Yay, Mexican Independence Day!


That's, like, when Santa Anna got together with Santa Patrick and Santa Claus and drove the snakes of the plane and saved Christmas for Samuel L. Jackson, right?
2013-03-13 01:06:34 PM
1 votes:
Wow, somebody has a stick up their ass.
2013-03-13 01:06:15 PM
1 votes:

mjohnson71: The_Sponge: I look forward to early May when this ass clown will have the chance to biatch about Cinco de Mayo.

Yay, Mexican Independence Day!


i thought it was corona appreciation day

/oxymoron, i know
2013-03-13 01:03:46 PM
1 votes:

Rufus Lee King: [lh3.googleusercontent.com image 300x449]


That reminds me.  I need to dig up my airbrushed O'Bama 08 shirt with a leprechan on it for St. Patties day.  And dig up some corned beef to boil.
2013-03-13 12:59:43 PM
1 votes:
It's the only day of the year where I have a valid excuse for my wife for hanging out with my Irish Catholic buddies and getting smashed at 6 a.m.  Every other day I do it, I don't have a valid excuse.
2013-03-13 12:57:38 PM
1 votes:
Time again for the wearin o' the green and the reinforcing o' the stereotypes.
2013-03-13 12:54:04 PM
1 votes:
americans found another excuse to drink.  we're really good at that.
2013-03-13 12:49:26 PM
1 votes:
St Patrick was a firm believer in avoiding the sins of the flesh - like drinking. That being said, Jesus of Nazareth was a firm believer in helping poor people and we don't listen to that either.

/German-Anglo blood, so I'm genetically predisposed to picking on the Irish
2013-03-13 12:49:24 PM
1 votes:
On the seventh day the Lord rested, but before that he did, he squatted over the side of England and what came out of him... was Ireland
2013-03-13 12:47:55 PM
1 votes:
I love the irish because they tolerate all the stereotyping without claiming racism.

unlike canadians
2013-03-13 12:45:24 PM
1 votes:
The Irish in America celebrate no longer being in farkin' Ireland, which is good enough.

As long as the silly buggers stay in Southie, I got no problem with them.
2013-03-13 11:39:25 AM
1 votes:
So, some idiot blog is going to talk about how someone is farking something up by using a slide show of nothing but stock images.

Blimey.
2013-03-13 11:23:11 AM
1 votes:
Yes, because what everyone really should be doing is going to a mass, then going to the feast of St. Patrick and thanking him for saving Ireland.
 
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