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(Boston.com)   Thanks to ever more vocal computers, soon we'll be going road rage on our own cars   (boston.com) divider line 29
    More: Stupid, Chevrolet Suburban, navigation system, MyFord Touch, Hingham, Jeep Liberty, Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, cars  
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702 clicks; posted to Geek » on 13 Mar 2013 at 11:33 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



29 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-03-13 11:36:02 AM
You require more vespene gas
 
2013-03-13 11:40:18 AM
I don't need something to remind me about seat belts, speeding, swerving cars, and my fuel situation. I already have a wife, thank you.
 
2013-03-13 11:42:19 AM

Fano: You require more vespene gas


The hardest part about additional pylons is dodging the construction crews.
 
2013-03-13 11:43:55 AM
I'd be more inclined to listen to my car if it was voiced by James Earl Jones.

...I find your lack of fuel disturbing...
 
2013-03-13 11:47:20 AM
...recalculating...
 
2013-03-13 11:56:47 AM

Subdue their bellies: I'd be more inclined to listen to my car if it was voiced by James Earl Jones.

...I find your lack of fuel disturbing...


*Chortle*
 
2013-03-13 12:05:21 PM
Gage, the auto trade spokesman, cautions that car owners should have their vehicles diagnosed when an indicator light appears. "That malfunction could be a relatively simple fault like a failing sensor or connection," he e-mailed the Globe, "or it could be a much more serious problem that requires immediate attention."

In my experience, it's a busted sensor. Cost you $300+ for parts to repair it, and we have to fly them in from Singapore, Malaysia, Akron, Mars and The Winchester Bar. Nono, your CAR is fine, it's just the sensor that indicates your engine is not fully warmed up has a bad connection. Oh, and since the lines from sensor to OBDC run through the engine block, we have to disassemble the front end (stupid engineers) - so that's $500 for labor, too.

Busted sensors have cost me more than repairs and maintenance combined. I'm seriously considering just waiting until I hear bad noises or see parts fall off before bringing it in.

// once failed an emissions test because the OBDC's relays had died
// apparently, they can't be separated from the unit, so I paid $1200 for a new one and a bunch more for installation (and easily passed the test)
// and there was NOTHING actually wrong with my car
 
2013-03-13 12:06:07 PM
Only way this could be worse is if it's voiced by Rie Kugimiya.

/my otaku is showing, I know
 
zez
2013-03-13 12:10:16 PM
But as complex dashboard screens become another presence in the car, even some kids are getting irritated. North Attleboro grade schoolers Will and Ben DiBattista regularly shush their dad's 2012 Range Rover's navigation system. On the way to hockey practice, the system has the nasty habit of talking over the songs they play to get pumped up - like "Eye of the Tiger" - to announce that the car needs to make a right in a half a mile . . . 700 feet . . . 500 feet . . . and so on.


You would think that after the first few trips to practice you wouldn't need to use the navigation system any more.
 
2013-03-13 12:16:22 PM
The 90s called and told late 80s talking cars to shut the fark up and go back to just beeping.

This article touches on a problem I considered just last week. If my current car were to become too expensive to repair what would I replace it with? As a computer programmer I can confidently say it has its place, and that's not between me and the road. I want only levers pulleys inclined planes etc involved on my control of the car. No braking for me no steering for me no presuming I'm driving the car incorrectly and need to be hindered.

Try to shop for that nowadays and you can't. Soon I won't even be able to get a manual. I wonder, will I be stuck buying late 90s cars the rest of my life?

By the time I'm old self-controlled vehicles will be second-class citizens like a bicycle on the freeway.
 
2013-03-13 12:26:37 PM

zez: But as complex dashboard screens become another presence in the car, even some kids are getting irritated. North Attleboro grade schoolers Will and Ben DiBattista regularly shush their dad's 2012 Range Rover's navigation system. On the way to hockey practice, the system has the nasty habit of talking over the songs they play to get pumped up - like "Eye of the Tiger" - to announce that the car needs to make a right in a half a mile . . . 700 feet . . . 500 feet . . . and so on.


You would think that after the first few trips to practice you wouldn't need to use the navigation system any more.


Maybe he uses it to gauge eta. I used to do that on a 40 mile work commute.
 
2013-03-13 12:44:32 PM
In Whitman, Susan Hamn's car, a 2011 Jeep Liberty, is also a noodge. It starts "beeping, beeping, beeping" if she turns the car off without instantly shutting off the headlights.

Don't most modern cars have automatic headlights?  I have a 2012 Jeep Liberty and I know mine does.  I never have to touch the things - they go on when it gets dark, and go off when it's light out.
 
2013-03-13 01:05:34 PM
I knew a guy in the 80s that had a talking car.  "Your blake is on.  Your blake is on".

IIRC it was something like an $800 or $1000 option too.

Though I had a $70 crank shaft position sensor croak on my car about 2 weeks after I had the timing belt replaced.  So I open up the Chilton's manual - Step 1: Remove the timing belt...
 
2013-03-13 01:08:28 PM
When I was growing up, I wanted KITT so bad.....

Now, I just wish the damn thing would STFU and GBTW... :)

I have a rude GPS system. :)

"TURN LEFT TURN LEFT U-TURN!!!!!

.......Biatch.....
 
2013-03-13 01:10:50 PM
Don't worry.  It will get much better once they roll out the Genuine People Personality feature.

"Hi there! This is Eddie, your automotive computer, and I'm feeling just great guys, and I know I'm just gonna get a bundle of kicks out of any place you care to drive me."
 
2013-03-13 01:19:04 PM
....don't forget the Johnny Cabs.....
 
2013-03-13 01:37:54 PM

TheGreatGazoo: I knew a guy in the 80s that had a talking car.  "Your blake is on.  Your blake is on".

IIRC it was something like an $800 or $1000 option too.


280Z?

I still hear that voice in my nightmares.  *tHE dOOr is a-JAR!*
 
2013-03-13 01:39:20 PM
This is the primary reason there are three 2003-2005 Ford Focus' in our driveway. Old enough to predate OnStar and MyFord Touch, yet new enough to still have some miles left in 'em.

Also makes it a no-brainer when we drive another car - same handling, same controls, etc.

Confuses the hell out of our insurance agent, though.
 
2013-03-13 01:42:40 PM
I am totally annoyed by all this shiat that talks to us all the time. When I cash out at CVS, I press the button for Spanish so that I don't understand it, and I don't have to be bombarded by more eledtronic voices.
 
2013-03-13 01:49:57 PM
They idiot-proof them to a point where only an idiot can use them.
 
2013-03-13 01:58:07 PM
Left turn in .3 miles
Turn left now
Recalculating route
Proceed to the nearest exit
Proceed to the nearest exit
Proceed to the nearest exit
Proceed to the nearest exit
 
2013-03-13 02:22:42 PM

Subdue their bellies: I'd be more inclined to listen to my car if it was voiced by James Earl Jones.

...I find your lack of fuel disturbing...


+1 brazzillion
 
2013-03-13 02:27:19 PM
GPS fails crack me up.

"Bear right, then turn left on Route 45."

Even better is when the thing keeps trying to send me back to main roads when I'm taking a shortcut that works better; a prime example is St. Louis, MI to Midland. Though, in that case, if it's after dark I'll stick with 127 and M-20 just to reduce the likelihood of Bambi jumping through my windshield.

endosymbiont: I am totally annoyed by all this shiat that talks to us all the time. When I cash out at CVS, I press the button for Spanish so that I don't understand it, and I don't have to be bombarded by more electronic voices.


Setting it to Spanish wouldn't work for me unless they talk fast enough. They need some other choice, like Welsh.

The gas pump rewards gizmos that I occasionally see are pretty annoying, but they at least have an STFU button. On the other hand, some gas stations now have TV screens above the pumps blaring away with no mute button. Orwell was an optimist.
 
2013-03-13 04:03:16 PM

Arkanaut: ...recalculating...


My Garmin always sounds so disappointed.
 
2013-03-13 06:33:54 PM
Consumer Reports hates hates hates fancy touch screens in cars.  They consider it a safety issue, and I agree.  Having to go three menus deep into a touch screen with no tactical feedback to do something like change the radio station (as opposed to pressing a single, actual button) is something that people will want to do while driving but is unsafe to do so using the new systems.  They don't mind talking cars as much, though.
 
2013-03-13 08:54:39 PM
"Hey man. You're lights are on."

"Turn off your farkin' lights."
 
2013-03-13 08:55:17 PM
Aaaaand I mess up your/you're.

/shiat
 
2013-03-13 11:44:14 PM
I like my GPS lady, mainly because she says the craziest things sometimes.

My favorite is when I'm driving to LaGuardia and she tells me to get off at the exit for "FDR Dr. / Manhattan".  She pronounces it as "FDR Doctor Manhattan", which never fails to create some bizarre president / Watchman crossover image.
 
2013-03-14 05:02:43 PM
Our 1986 Nissan 300ZX has the "voice option" and it was in earlier models too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8SCGhc4AC0
 
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