If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Slate)   The time to end email signoffs is now   (slate.com) divider line 106
    More: Unlikely, pony express, Park Slope, Best Wishes  
•       •       •

8193 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2013 at 9:11 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



106 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-03-13 08:12:09 AM
Whiney little shiat.
 
2013-03-13 08:27:03 AM
Talk about First World problems.
 
2013-03-13 08:34:52 AM
To my dearest Fark thread # 7641051:


Screw that guy.


With all my love, respect, and warmest regards,
Fark member 22985, the_rev
 
2013-03-13 08:45:48 AM
No.

Thanks,
ThatGuyGreg
 
2013-03-13 08:51:31 AM
If I use any word other than "thanks" as an email signoff, it's intended either as a sarcastic jab or an outright insult.
 
2013-03-13 08:51:37 AM
Filler crap for Slate is still ok.
 
2013-03-13 08:52:23 AM
I'm almost ashamed to admit this, but my go-to email signoff has always been: "My very best." There's no beating around the bush here: That's awful. I intended it as shorthand for something like, "Until next time, I wish you my very best." But by beginning the signoff with a word that references me, it comes off as rather self-centered-the exact opposite of what I intended.

Dude's got issues....

Regards
Slaxl
 
2013-03-13 09:01:22 AM
Today I will change my email sign off to...

Regards of varying magnitudes,
EasyWind
 
2013-03-13 09:04:14 AM
That man needs a hobby. Or a maid.
 
2013-03-13 09:09:57 AM
I've never had an e-mail sign off.  Maybe I'll steal one from Carlin.


May the forces of evil be confused on the way to your door,
UberDave
 
2013-03-13 09:11:20 AM
Dear Slate,

PLONK!

Best Regards and Warmest Wishes
 
2013-03-13 09:15:13 AM
Signoff should include your name your department and your phone and fax #s. Infa 100%.
 
2013-03-13 09:15:51 AM

Rev. Skarekroe: Talk about First World problems.


This.

{well bye .jpg}
 
2013-03-13 09:16:17 AM
If you want something to biatch about with regards to email, I think sign offs are at the lowest of the low for this ranty totem pole. No you want to rail on something how about idiots who use the reply all without actually looking to see who it might actually reply all to. Those people should have their thumbs crushed.

With warm regards
 
2013-03-13 09:17:39 AM
Is GFYASAMFP still acceptable?
 
2013-03-13 09:17:42 AM
Way to get to the heart of something we endlessly sit around pondering. Now maybe we can finally tackle other pressing issues like inaccurate hash tags on twitter, those really ruffle my feathers.
 
2013-03-13 09:18:55 AM
Who uses a signoff?

Nor is a salutation needed.
 
2013-03-13 09:19:02 AM
I always sign off with "Now Fark Off".

Reduces e-mail that way.
 
2013-03-13 09:19:12 AM

MyKingdomForYourHorse: If you want something to biatch about with regards to email, I think sign offs are at the lowest of the low for this ranty totem pole. No you want to rail on something how about idiots who use the reply all without actually looking to see who it might actually reply all to. Those people should have their thumbs crushed.

With warm regards


Hear Hear
 
2013-03-13 09:19:55 AM
I always use thanks or best, seems like the easiest way to close out an email. I do get a laugh out of people's email signatures and sign offs.

My favorite was a vendor with a few "inspirational" quotes and some random clip art of flowers and whatnot. What happened to just your name, title, and contact information?
 
2013-03-13 09:20:12 AM
There has been a lot of whiny articles like this lately. Yesterday on Gawker someone was throwing a hissy fit because people have the gall to leave him voicemails.
 
2013-03-13 09:21:47 AM

Pocket Ninja: If I use any word other than "thanks" as an email signoff, it's intended either as a sarcastic jab or an outright insult.


This

and

Ned Stark: Signoff should include your name your department and your phone and fax #s. Infa 100%.


Except address and not phone #

/I have no access to a fax
 
2013-03-13 09:22:12 AM

JacksonBryan: Whiney little shiat.


Done in one.
 
2013-03-13 09:22:34 AM
Glad we could have this little talk.
Cheers (hic)
--
sic hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes
 
2013-03-13 09:23:05 AM
I rarely use a sign off. Hell, I don't often bother to even put my name at the end of an email. The people getting them know who it's from, my name's in the address.

Don't use signatures either, more of a hastle.

/don't get me started on folks that keep the 'Sent from my iphone/droid/crackberry' option checked. Who cares how you're sending the message, as long as you proof read before hitting send it's all good.
 
2013-03-13 09:24:34 AM
Smell my taint-

Bung
 
2013-03-13 09:25:31 AM

Ned Stark: Signoff should include your name your department and your phone and fax #s. Infa 100%.


Dear Ned_Stark,

What's a 'fax'?

Cheers!
Glenford
 
2013-03-13 09:26:37 AM

Unoriginal_Username: I rarely use a sign off. Hell, I don't often bother to even put my name at the end of an email. The people getting them know who it's from, my name's in the address.

Don't use signatures either, more of a hastle.

/don't get me started on folks that keep the 'Sent from my iphone/droid/crackberry' option checked. Who cares how you're sending the message, as long as you proof read before hitting send it's all good.


The point of that is often they don't check to see if a word was changed on their smartphone. As an example, I'll often try to say "ill" and my phone will change it to "I'll." It's why my phone signature is always "Sent from my mobile device. Please excuse any spelling or grammatical errors."
 
2013-03-13 09:27:00 AM
Can't find anything better to complain about?

Good night. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning,
Sybarite
 
2013-03-13 09:27:22 AM

MyKingdomForYourHorse: If you want something to biatch about with regards to email, I think sign offs are at the lowest of the low for this ranty totem pole. No you want to rail on something how about idiots who use the reply all without actually looking to see who it might actually reply all to. Those people should have their thumbs crushed.

With warm regards


Related to that, department heads who forward an e-mail they got from corporate to everyone in the department, seeming without knowing that the global address it was sent to originally already included everyone in the department. Thanks Capt. Redundant.
 
2013-03-13 09:27:52 AM

wademh: Glad we could have this little talk.
Cheers (hic)
--
sic hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes


Ita vero

Human emotions,
G.I.M.C-P.
 
2013-03-13 09:27:58 AM

grokca: MyKingdomForYourHorse: If you want something to biatch about with regards to email, I think sign offs are at the lowest of the low for this ranty totem pole. No you want to rail on something how about idiots who use the reply all without actually looking to see who it might actually reply all to. Those people should have their thumbs crushed.

With warm regards

Hear Hear


My company disabled the mighty 'Replay All' function in Outlook worldwide a few years ago after one of the managers at our location replied with some inappropriate snarky comments meant for only one person.  Some of the recipients were rather high up in the organization and were not amused.
 
2013-03-13 09:31:21 AM
Dear Whiney Hipster Douchebag,

Some of us like courtesy and eloquence in our communication.

Kind Regards,

People raised in the South
 
2013-03-13 09:31:35 AM
Most annoying signoff evar:


Internal Revenue Service Circular 230 Disclosure: In compliance with IRS requirements, you are on notice that any U.S. tax advice contained in this communication (including any attachments) is not intended or written to be used, and cannot be used, for the purpose of (i) avoiding penalties under the Internal Revenue Code or (ii) promoting, marketing or recommending to another party any transaction or matter addressed herein.

This information contained in this electronic message and any attachments to this message are intended only for the exclusive use of the designated recipient(s). It may contain confidential or proprietary information and may be subject to the attorney-client privilege or other confidentiality protections. If you are not the intended recipient, or the person responsible for delivering the e-mail to the intended recipient, be advised you have received this message in error and that any use, dissemination, forwarding, printing, or copying is strictly prohibited. Thank you.
 
2013-03-13 09:31:46 AM
My email signoff consists of an autoplay advertisement that you can't close until it reaches the end of the advertisement. Sometimes it doesn't even let you see the entire email, you have to replay the advertisement and *hope* it works this time. Which wouldn't be bad except that the only takers I could find for advertising dollars were a couple of furrie porn sites. You should see the looks I get from mad parents that think it's some sort of Disney video or something they thought I sent them for their kid...

Sheesh! Like I have time to do that. -Some people..
 
2013-03-13 09:33:49 AM

Tax Boy: Most annoying signoff evar:


Internal Revenue Service Circular 230 Disclosure: In compliance with IRS requirements, you are on notice that any U.S. tax advice contained in this communication (including any attachments) is not intended or written to be used, and cannot be used, for the purpose of (i) avoiding penalties under the Internal Revenue Code or (ii) promoting, marketing or recommending to another party any transaction or matter addressed herein.

This information contained in this electronic message and any attachments to this message are intended only for the exclusive use of the designated recipient(s). It may contain confidential or proprietary information and may be subject to the attorney-client privilege or other confidentiality protections. If you are not the intended recipient, or the person responsible for delivering the e-mail to the intended recipient, be advised you have received this message in error and that any use, dissemination, forwarding, printing, or copying is strictly prohibited. Thank you.


I love those sign offs because I immediately duplicate and distribute them to anyone that will take it.
 
2013-03-13 09:34:29 AM

Tax Boy: Most annoying signoff evar:


Agreed.
 
2013-03-13 09:36:31 AM
To Whom it May Concern,

  Fark that guy.  E-mail is not a text message.  When I'm functioning as a professional, I expect to be communicated with professionally.  That means writing E-mail as though it were written on paper, stuffed in an envelope and mailed to the recipient.  Stop trying to get all lolidkbtwiircltnskthxbye on a medium meant for real communication.

Fark off and Die,
EViLTeW.
 
2013-03-13 09:38:07 AM

amindtat: Related to that, department heads who forward an e-mail they got from corporate to everyone in the department, seeming without knowing that the global address it was sent to originally already included everyone in the department. Thanks Capt. Redundant.


As a manager of an exchange server, this infuriates me to the nth degree.

"Why is my inbox so slow?"
"I don't perhaps its the 30k duplicate emails you have sitting in there?"
 
2013-03-13 09:38:31 AM
In conclusion, may you have a six pack and a baked potato so that you might have a seven-course Irish meal,

Billy Bathsalt


/Swinging Erudites FTW
 
2013-03-13 09:40:44 AM
I have a colleague that signs off:

"For the sake of our environment, please consider before printing this email"

No, I don't like her.
 
2013-03-13 09:41:02 AM
A far more devious issue is people who use signatures on message boards.
 
2013-03-13 09:42:21 AM
Dear Completely Self-absorbed prick journalist,

Go EABOD.

Warmest Regards,
those of us who respect the traditional rituals of greeting and good bye.
 
2013-03-13 09:43:22 AM

Archae hippy: I have a colleague that signs off:

"For the sake of our environment, please consider before printing this email"

No, I don't like her.


I've seen that one before. Guess some e-mail application automatically appends it.
 
2013-03-13 09:45:24 AM

MyKingdomForYourHorse: amindtat: Related to that, department heads who forward an e-mail they got from corporate to everyone in the department, seeming without knowing that the global address it was sent to originally already included everyone in the department. Thanks Capt. Redundant.

As a manager of an exchange server, this infuriates me to the nth degree.

"Why is my inbox so slow?"
"I don't perhaps its the 30k duplicate emails you have sitting in there?"


It makes me glad I don't have to do that anymore. At my previous employer we were required to keep 5 years of documents (including emails) per DHS, and 7 years of tax information per the IRS. Mailbox quotas were meaningless because people would constantly send messages to everyone in the company with attachments asking "Is this yours???" The gnashing of teeth was epic after the partners let me lock down the dist. groups.
 
2013-03-13 09:46:18 AM

Archae hippy: I have a colleague that signs off:

"For the sake of our environment, please consider before printing this email"

No, I don't like her.


I have a bunch of those too.

Our email signature is required to have name, department, title, address, phone (mobile, office, fax) and email address (which I think is silly because I sent the damn email).
 
2013-03-13 09:49:06 AM
EViLTeW:

Fark off and Die,
EViLTeW.


I may have to start using that with some of my peers.
 
2013-03-13 09:49:39 AM
                 /\
                /..\
               / .. \
              /  ..  \
             /   ..   \
             |   ::   |
             |   ::   |
             |   ::   |
             |   ::   |
             |   ::   |
             |   ::   |
             |   ::   |
             |   ::   |
             |   ::   |
             |   ::   |
             |   ::   |
             |   ::   |
             |   ::   |
             |   ::   |
             |   ::   |
             |   ::   |
             |   ::   |
             |   ::   |
.            |   /\   |           .
|\           |  /  \  |           /|
| `-._      | /    \ |      _.-' |
\     `-._  |/      \|  _.-'     /
 \        `-'        `-'        /
  `-._                    _.-'
      `-._             _.-'
          `-._____.-'
            |\\\V///A|
            |\\V///A\|
            |\V///A\\|
            |V///A\\\|
            |///A\\\V|
            |//A\\\V/|
            |/A\\\V//|
            |A\\\V///|
            |\\\V///A|
            |\\V///A\|
            |\V///A\\|
            |V///A\\\|
            |///A\\\V|
            |//A\\\V/|
            |/A\\\V//|
            |_.----._|
        _.-'_.----._`-._
        / .-' .----. `-. \
       \_`-._`----'_.-'_/
         `-._`----'_.-'
              `----'

Whatever happened to the good email signoffs?
 
2013-03-13 09:50:08 AM

MightyPez: It makes me glad I don't have to do that anymore. At my previous employer we were required to keep 5 years of documents (including emails) per DHS, and 7 years of tax information per the IRS. Mailbox quotas were meaningless because people would constantly send messages to everyone in the company with attachments asking "Is this yours???" The gnashing of teeth was epic after the partners let me lock down the dist. groups.


I think I would go full blown alcoholic if we have that length of retention requirement. Thankfully here it's only three years, and we offload them to an archive at another location which gets stored in a SQL server. Then it's the SQL admins problem not mine.

Of course, I still get this on occasion

*phone rings
"Hello?"
"You know, you could at least warn me before you institute a new recipient policy"
"What, huh?"
"Ohh nothing, its just that our archive database just ballooned by 20% is all"
"Ohh shiat...sorry I forgot about that spat of reply alls last June"
 
2013-03-13 09:52:40 AM
If one is left wondering what one meant by the sign off:

1. the sender has done a very poor job communicating in the body of the text
2. the reader is a hypervigilant neurotic, most likely a chronic self doubter who reads between the lines of the minutiae of basic social interactions as a way of managing his or her existential loneliness and despair.

i'm thinking 2.

respectfully,
BtS
 
2013-03-13 09:53:35 AM
One guy I knew used to sign off with "Pax."

/It's Latin, Dah'lin.  He's an educated man.

//Now I know I hate him
 
2013-03-13 09:58:27 AM
"Think about it. Email signoffs are holdovers from a bygone era when letter writing-the kind that required ink and paper-was a major means of communication.  people weren't all impolite, selfish pricks.  And even if they were, they tended not to advertise the fact in their correspondence."

EABOD, YOLO,
Thunderboy
 
2013-03-13 09:58:36 AM

Bartleby the Scrivener: If one is left wondering what one meant by the sign off:

1. the sender has done a very poor job communicating in the body of the text
2. the reader is a hypervigilant neurotic, most likely a chronic self doubter who reads between the lines of the minutiae of basic social interactions as a way of managing his or her existential loneliness and despair.

i'm thinking 2.

respectfully,
BtS


Your observation is spot on Chap.

Respectfully, gratefully, and everlastingly yours,
Jack
 
2013-03-13 09:58:42 AM
delathi:
Whatever happened to the good email signoffs?


I think they died out with BBSs...
 
2013-03-13 10:02:04 AM
I detest the post-name signoff

Thanks for your assistance in this matter,
MotBU

sent from my iPhone
 
2013-03-13 10:10:38 AM
They're called taglines you drooling savage.
 
2013-03-13 10:17:55 AM

swahnhennessy: A far more devious issue is people who use signatures on message boards.


Those are obnoxious. I can see your name at the top of your two line post. I don't need to see it again so sdoon .
 
2013-03-13 10:20:23 AM
Boring corespondent was boring!
 
2013-03-13 10:23:17 AM
The time to stop submitting Slate articles is now. Seriously, enough already!
 
2013-03-13 10:29:58 AM

MyKingdomForYourHorse: MightyPez: It makes me glad I don't have to do that anymore. At my previous employer we were required to keep 5 years of documents (including emails) per DHS, and 7 years of tax information per the IRS. Mailbox quotas were meaningless because people would constantly send messages to everyone in the company with attachments asking "Is this yours???" The gnashing of teeth was epic after the partners let me lock down the dist. groups.

I think I would go full blown alcoholic if we have that length of retention requirement. Thankfully here it's only three years, and we offload them to an archive at another location which gets stored in a SQL server. Then it's the SQL admins problem not mine.

Of course, I still get this on occasion

*phone rings
"Hello?"
"You know, you could at least warn me before you institute a new recipient policy"
"What, huh?"
"Ohh nothing, its just that our archive database just ballooned by 20% is all"
"Ohh shiat...sorry I forgot about that spat of reply alls last June"


Oh man, I could only dream about that. When it came to infrastucture costs that company was supremely cheap (What do you mean we have to PAY to license users to connect to servers???). Backups were delegated to LTO tapes and archives were non-existent. I spent many days off or all nighters trying to recover data and get the Exchange server back up and running after an update blew it up or a drive failed.
 
2013-03-13 10:31:36 AM
The internet has officially run out of things to write about.
 
2013-03-13 10:32:41 AM

Fano: swahnhennessy: A far more devious issue is people who use signatures on message boards.

Those are obnoxious. I can see your name at the top of your two line post. I don't need to see it again so sdoon .


who was that guy that used to do that here?
2horn
3horn
2pac?

something with a number and a word.
 
2013-03-13 10:36:42 AM

MightyPez: Backups were delegated to LTO tapes and archives were non-existent


A tip of the hat to you sir, you have earned those stripes you wear.

LTO?
*shudder
 
2013-03-13 10:37:49 AM
If I see a signoff or a signature block that consists of anything other than newline-dash-dash-space-newline followed by text no larger than 80x4, then that writer can get off my lawn.

/McQuary limit rules all
//except for slashies
///why the trailing space was in the delimiter, I never understood
 
2013-03-13 10:38:36 AM

MyKingdomForYourHorse: MightyPez: Backups were delegated to LTO tapes and archives were non-existent

A tip of the hat to you sir, you have earned those stripes you wear.

LTO?
*shudder


Well you're still in the trenches, so you get a full salute from me.

/Moved on to desktop support for a university
//Small pay cut, better benefits, no on call.
 
2013-03-13 10:38:54 AM

Bartleby the Scrivener: Fano: swahnhennessy: A far more devious issue is people who use signatures on message boards.

Those are obnoxious. I can see your name at the top of your two line post. I don't need to see it again so sdoon .

who was that guy that used to do that here?
2horn
3horn
2pac?

something with a number and a word.


It was 3horn. I remember one day when everyone decided to sign his name to every post they made that day, for the lulz.


/3horn
 
2013-03-13 10:43:43 AM

UberDave: delathi:
Whatever happened to the good email signoffs?

I think they died out with BBSs...


I'm bringin 'em back.

                 (O)
                 <M
     o          <M
    /| ........  /:M\------------------------------------------------,,,,,,
  (O)[]XXXXXX[]I:K+}=====<{H}>================================---------- -->
    \| ^^^^^^  \:W/------------------------------------------------''''''
     o          <W
                 <W
                 (O)
 
2013-03-13 10:43:48 AM

Bartleby the Scrivener: Fano: swahnhennessy: A far more devious issue is people who use signatures on message boards.

Those are obnoxious. I can see your name at the top of your two line post. I don't need to see it again so sdoon .

who was that guy that used to do that here?
2horn
3horn
2pac?

something with a number and a word.


-smidge-
 
2013-03-13 10:49:21 AM
Dear Mr. Matthew J. X. Malady,

Time to end gratuitous use of middle initials.

Regards,

BS
 
2013-03-13 10:53:50 AM
Signoffs are good.  Using a script font to "sign" your emails looks dumb. Including anything other than your name, organization, title and contact info in your signature is bad.
 
2013-03-13 10:53:54 AM
Cheers,
Hagar...
 
2013-03-13 10:56:30 AM

B.Stroganoff: Dear Mr. Matthew J. X. Malady,

Time to end gratuitous use of middle initials.


During my brief stint in academia, it was the rare case to talk to someone that didn't use two middle initials, a hyphenated last name, a generational suffix, and their degree alphabet soup.
 
2013-03-13 10:57:33 AM
Dear Douche (or Douchette)-

You sound like a whiner.

Ut prosim-

Tanukis Parachute
 
2013-03-13 10:59:30 AM
This is how this article came to be - boss tells writer to write an article. Writer can't come up with any ideas. Writer fancies himself a snarky fellow and decides to write about something that bothers him. Can't think of anything. Looks around desk. Pencils are cool, phones are handy, emails are useful... Waitaminute! I got it!
 
2013-03-13 11:03:11 AM
I like using (since I may mistype on a phone or tablet) "sent from my iphone with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time"
 
2013-03-13 11:04:58 AM
Thanks. Priapic.

Here's to those that wish me well and all the rest can go to hell. Anon.
 
2013-03-13 11:11:05 AM

MyKingdomForYourHorse: If you want something to biatch about with regards to email, I think sign offs are at the lowest of the low for this ranty totem pole. No you want to rail on something how about idiots who use the reply all without actually looking to see who it might actually reply all to. Those people should have their thumbs crushed.

With warm regards


This.
 
2013-03-13 11:14:46 AM

MightyPez: Well you're still in the trenches, so you get a full salute from me.


relativelyrelatives.files.wordpress.com

It's not so bad, we get our rations at least.
 
2013-03-13 11:17:34 AM
I don't mind them.

--Smidge--
 
2013-03-13 11:25:15 AM
Dear Slate Millennial Columnist,

The word you were looking for was "valediction". Though not necessary for daily communication, its use shows respect. If you are not interested in that, please refrain from affixing a valediction to your messages. It seems you were personally uncomfortable with the one you chose to use for everything. The Internet does not know how this is somehow its problem. It would have been far more preferable to read an article about the awful habit of business people and other internet novices that has persisted over the last decade: including a valediction in your signature -- a behavior that is, at best, in poor taste.

Yours etc,

The Internet
 
2013-03-13 11:32:15 AM
The only thing more obnoxious than the histrionic whining in that article was that the author expected me to click a link so I could read a second page of it.

Fano: -smidge-


I remember FlyNavy used to sign off with "Buzzy" before he was outed as a complete fraud and run out of town.
 
2013-03-13 11:38:43 AM

B.Stroganoff: Time to end gratuitous use of middle initials.


Holy crap, I live in the Philippines at the moment, and everyone here uses all 4 or 5 of their names on all official documents.  I try to get away with using just my middle initial, and people insist that I didn't fill out the form properly.

Plus, everyone seems to be named "Princess Cherie Amour Crucifixion Reyes".
 
2013-03-13 11:53:34 AM
I have a simple rule about email sign offs:

if it's business, I put Best, My Name
if it's a long drawn out business discussion (30 emails back and forth), I simply don't sign it
if it's friendly, I put my name
if it's super friend, I put my first initial
 
2013-03-13 11:54:14 AM
I don't know how so much sand got up this guy's vagina, what with his panties already being in such a wad.

For some reason top-posting has become the dominant paradigm of email conversations.  Having a signoff at the end of your newly contributed content is a good way to demarcate where people should stop paying attention.

Thanks,
Poot.
 
2013-03-13 11:58:26 AM

SoupJohnB: One guy I knew used to sign off with "Pax."

/It's Latin, Dah'lin.  He's an educated man.

//Now I know I hate him


1.bp.blogspot.com

careful johnny, i hear he's real fast
 
2013-03-13 12:06:13 PM

aesirx: I have a simple rule about email sign offs:

if it's business, I put Best, My Name
if it's a long drawn out business discussion (30 emails back and forth), I simply don't sign it
if it's friendly, I put my name
if it's super friend, I put my first initial


This.
 
2013-03-13 12:12:24 PM
But EABOD is still ok, right?
 
2013-03-13 12:13:53 PM

Demetrius: The internet has officially run out of things to write about.


Maybe someone can write about that?
 
2013-03-13 12:20:36 PM

MyKingdomForYourHorse: If you want something to biatch about with regards to email, I think sign offs are at the lowest of the low for this ranty totem pole. No you want to rail on something how about idiots who use the reply all without actually looking to see who it might actually reply all to. Those people should have their thumbs crushed.

With warm regards


My husband refers to the "Reply All" button as "Satan's icon" and never uses it. There were many, many times at his previous job where people using Reply All to demand that others stop replying to all for one specific email would bring the server to its knees.
 
2013-03-13 12:37:58 PM
I wonder when the kids will learn about email. Make it the hot new thing.
 
2013-03-13 01:10:21 PM

Bartleby the Scrivener: Fano: swahnhennessy: A far more devious issue is people who use signatures on message boards.

Those are obnoxious. I can see your name at the top of your two line post. I don't need to see it again so sdoon .

who was that guy that used to do that here?
2horn
3horn
2pac?

something with a number and a word.


Smidge still does it, and for some reason I always associate that word with "smirk" so it makes that person's comments very pretentious in my mind, no matter the context...

I hate Smidge.
 
2013-03-13 01:20:56 PM

Girion47: Bartleby the Scrivener: Fano: swahnhennessy: A far more devious issue is people who use signatures on message boards.

Those are obnoxious. I can see your name at the top of your two line post. I don't need to see it again so sdoon .

who was that guy that used to do that here?
2horn
3horn
2pac?

something with a number and a word.

Smidge still does it, and for some reason I always associate that word with "smirk" so it makes that person's comments very pretentious in my mind, no matter the context...

I hate Smidge.


There is someone on RCgroups.com that signs with "smidge."
 
2013-03-13 01:21:25 PM

the_rev: Bartleby the Scrivener: Fano: swahnhennessy: A far more devious issue is people who use signatures on message boards.

Those are obnoxious. I can see your name at the top of your two line post. I don't need to see it again so sdoon .

who was that guy that used to do that here?
2horn
3horn
2pac?

something with a number and a word.

It was 3horn. I remember one day when everyone decided to sign his name to every post they made that day, for the lulz.


/3horn


seriously scrolled down this whole thing looking for a 3horn.

Not disappointed.
-tb
 
2013-03-13 01:47:02 PM
A few days ago, I emailed this piece to my editor as an attachment. It felt good to write the corresponding message: "Here's the piece on how email signoffs are the worst and why we should get rid of them for good. I hope you like it." There was nothing more. No "Hello," no "Take care," or "Best," or, heaven forbid, "My very best." A few hours later, I received the following response: "Looks good. I think you're onto something here. More soon." And, for that moment at least, all was right with the world.


I have a feeling his article got published, because his editor wanted to publicly embarrass him for getting outraged over something so minor and stupid. I mean, most of the emails I get at work, have just pre-formated signoffs that auto-generate after you type up the email. Do I get upset over them? Uh, no. Never have, never will, it's not something to even get upset over, it's such a non-issue.
 
2013-03-13 01:48:48 PM
I use Thanks on all my internal emails and Best Regards on all my external emails.

Unless somebody really pisses me off and then I use Regards.

I am sick of those 'Be green and don't print this email!' things. Once someone at our company had one of those on their signature and sent it to a papermill- the papermill guy immediately called him and chewed him out about how trees are grown for paper and his company isn't logging in the rainforest and they plant more trees than they cut down, etc. etc.
 
2013-03-13 02:25:47 PM
The only signoff that truly annoys me is "Thanks in advance." The writer of the article and anyone using that signoff should get two blowjobs and bring me back one.

Dictated but not read,
MikeBoomshadow
 
2013-03-13 03:32:57 PM
....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...
 
2013-03-13 03:40:30 PM
Dear Matt:

How about No and Fark off?!

Best,

jpo
 
2013-03-13 04:42:27 PM
I eschew formal greeting and closing lines in e-mail. My e-mail messages end with a signature which adheres to Usenet standards.

Usenet standards specify that a signature block should be displayed as plain text in a fixed-width font (no HTML, images, or other rich text), and should be delimited from the body of the message by a single line consisting of exactly two hyphens, followed by a space, followed by the end of line (i.e., "-- \n").[1] This latter prescription, which goes by many names, including "sig dashes", "signature cut line", "sig-marker", "sig separator" and "signature delimiter", allows software to automatically mark or remove the sig block as the receiver desires. The signature prefix chosen can be different for different people serving as a distinguishing feature of their signatures. A correct delimiter is required for a news posting program to receive the Good Netkeeping Seal of Approval. It is also recommended that a signature block should contain no more than four lines of less than eighty columns each; this keeps the overall size of the message down, conserving bandwidth as well as the time required to read the message, and ensures that eighty-column terminals can display the sig block properly. (from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signature_block#E-mail_and_Usenet)
 
2013-03-13 05:37:57 PM

curmudg3on: I eschew formal greeting and closing lines in e-mail. My e-mail messages end with a signature which adheres to Usenet standards.

Usenet standards specify that a signature block should be displayed as plain text in a fixed-width font (no HTML, images, or other rich text), and should be delimited from the body of the message by a single line consisting of exactly two hyphens, followed by a space, followed by the end of line (i.e., "-- \n").[1] This latter prescription, which goes by many names, including "sig dashes", "signature cut line", "sig-marker", "sig separator" and "signature delimiter", allows software to automatically mark or remove the sig block as the receiver desires. The signature prefix chosen can be different for different people serving as a distinguishing feature of their signatures. A correct delimiter is required for a news posting program to receive the Good Netkeeping Seal of Approval. It is also recommended that a signature block should contain no more than four lines of less than eighty columns each; this keeps the overall size of the message down, conserving bandwidth as well as the time required to read the message, and ensures that eighty-column terminals can display the sig block properly. (from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signature_block#E-mail_and_Usenet)




I delete the email and flag as spam when someone uses the word, "eschew."
 
2013-03-13 09:32:32 PM

curmudg3on: I eschew formal greeting and closing lines in e-mail. My e-mail messages end with a signature which adheres to Usenet standards.

Usenet standards specify that a signature block should be displayed as plain text in a fixed-width font (no HTML, images, or other rich text), and should be delimited from the body of the message by a single line consisting of exactly two hyphens, followed by a space, followed by the end of line (i.e., "-- \n").[1] This latter prescription, which goes by many names, including "sig dashes", "signature cut line", "sig-marker", "sig separator" and "signature delimiter", allows software to automatically mark or remove the sig block as the receiver desires. The signature prefix chosen can be different for different people serving as a distinguishing feature of their signatures. A correct delimiter is required for a news posting program to receive the Good Netkeeping Seal of Approval. It is also recommended that a signature block should contain no more than four lines of less than eighty columns each; this keeps the overall size of the message down, conserving bandwidth as well as the time required to read the message, and ensures that eighty-column terminals can display the sig block properly. (from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signature_block#E-mail_and_Usenet)


You do realize a .sig and a salutation are not the same animal, right?
 
2013-03-13 09:57:29 PM

saturn badger: curmudg3on: I eschew formal greeting and closing lines in e-mail. My e-mail messages end with a signature which adheres to Usenet standards.

Usenet standards specify that a signature block should be displayed as plain text in a fixed-width font (no HTML, images, or other rich text), and should be delimited from the body of the message by a single line consisting of exactly two hyphens, followed by a space, followed by the end of line (i.e., "-- \n").[1] This latter prescription, which goes by many names, including "sig dashes", "signature cut line", "sig-marker", "sig separator" and "signature delimiter", allows software to automatically mark or remove the sig block as the receiver desires. The signature prefix chosen can be different for different people serving as a distinguishing feature of their signatures. A correct delimiter is required for a news posting program to receive the Good Netkeeping Seal of Approval. It is also recommended that a signature block should contain no more than four lines of less than eighty columns each; this keeps the overall size of the message down, conserving bandwidth as well as the time required to read the message, and ensures that eighty-column terminals can display the sig block properly. (from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signature_block#E-mail_and_Usenet)

You do realize a .sig and a salutation are not the same animal, right?


Not if he cannot tell the difference between an usenet post within an NNTP environment and an email outside of an NNTP environment.
 
2013-03-14 12:04:30 AM
I like to sign off like Thomas Hobbes of Malmsbury:

Your moft humble and obediant feruant,
 ExtremeFajita
 
2013-03-14 12:34:53 AM

Benjimin_Dover: saturn badger: curmudg3on: I eschew formal greeting and closing lines in e-mail. My e-mail messages end with a signature which adheres to Usenet standards.

Usenet standards specify that a signature block should be displayed as plain text in a fixed-width font (no HTML, images, or other rich text), and should be delimited from the body of the message by a single line consisting of exactly two hyphens, followed by a space, followed by the end of line (i.e., "-- \n").[1] This latter prescription, which goes by many names, including "sig dashes", "signature cut line", "sig-marker", "sig separator" and "signature delimiter", allows software to automatically mark or remove the sig block as the receiver desires. The signature prefix chosen can be different for different people serving as a distinguishing feature of their signatures. A correct delimiter is required for a news posting program to receive the Good Netkeeping Seal of Approval. It is also recommended that a signature block should contain no more than four lines of less than eighty columns each; this keeps the overall size of the message down, conserving bandwidth as well as the time required to read the message, and ensures that eighty-column terminals can display the sig block properly. (from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signature_block#E-mail_and_Usenet)

You do realize a .sig and a salutation are not the same animal, right?

Not if he cannot tell the difference between an usenet post within an NNTP environment and an email outside of an NNTP environment.


My aged parents told me about the usenet.
 
2013-03-14 09:57:30 AM
Bullshiat,

Sounds like Matthew J.X. Malady just has a wild hair growing someplace 'private'. He begins by making a tirade against Complimentary Closings, and then goes on to degrade Salutations.

And yet, he capped his inane article with a Title - You Say "Best." I Say No. Why, a person might ask, would anybody title an article, much less capitAlize wordS in the middle of a Sentence? And just who is he quoting - I certainly didn't see any source given. He then added his moniker (which looks pretentious with all those middle initials), and even the Day, Date, and Time. Then, if you noticed, he used CAPITAL LETTERS in the usual places throughout the article, and even added Punctuation Marks. Why I ask, do we get all this drama pointed at a defenseless Complimentary Closing... unless he (assumption) is a member of the "old guard" (to use his phrase) himself.

Actually, one might compare a verbal telephone conversation with a written one. There are certain pleasantries, conventions, sentence structure, and word usage that become either necessary, or merely politeness in communication.

While I am not a linguist, I do enjoy an attempt at the proper use of capitalization and punctuation. And the polite 'hi' and 'bye'. To evade some of these conventions is merely laziness or disrespect, you definitely would add them to somebody that could help you personally help you financially or emotionally. But might purposefully omit them in communication with someone that you want to insult.

Texting might be different.

So There,

DaTheorist
 
2013-03-14 06:28:09 PM

MightyPez: There has been a lot of whiny articles like this lately. Yesterday on Gawker someone was throwing a hissy fit because people have the gall to leave him voicemails.


It pisses me off when people leave me long rambling voice mails while I try to call them back immediately, and they ignore the other call. It used to piss me off anytime someone left a long rambling voicemail, because I'd have to listen to the whole thing before I could delete it (my office phone is still stuck in 1999 this way) no matter how old it was, but visual voicemail on the cell phone makes it a snap to make them go away.

Worse are people who repeatedly call but don't leave a voicemail or drop an email, and don't pick up on a call back.
 
Displayed 106 of 106 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report