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(Slate)   The time to end email signoffs is now   (slate.com) divider line 106
    More: Unlikely, pony express, Park Slope, Best Wishes  
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8200 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2013 at 9:11 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-13 08:12:09 AM
Whiney little shiat.
 
2013-03-13 08:27:03 AM
Talk about First World problems.
 
2013-03-13 08:34:52 AM
To my dearest Fark thread # 7641051:


Screw that guy.


With all my love, respect, and warmest regards,
Fark member 22985, the_rev
 
2013-03-13 08:45:48 AM
No.

Thanks,
ThatGuyGreg
 
2013-03-13 08:51:31 AM
If I use any word other than "thanks" as an email signoff, it's intended either as a sarcastic jab or an outright insult.
 
2013-03-13 08:51:37 AM
Filler crap for Slate is still ok.
 
2013-03-13 08:52:23 AM
I'm almost ashamed to admit this, but my go-to email signoff has always been: "My very best." There's no beating around the bush here: That's awful. I intended it as shorthand for something like, "Until next time, I wish you my very best." But by beginning the signoff with a word that references me, it comes off as rather self-centered-the exact opposite of what I intended.

Dude's got issues....

Regards
Slaxl
 
2013-03-13 09:01:22 AM
Today I will change my email sign off to...

Regards of varying magnitudes,
EasyWind
 
2013-03-13 09:04:14 AM
That man needs a hobby. Or a maid.
 
2013-03-13 09:09:57 AM
I've never had an e-mail sign off.  Maybe I'll steal one from Carlin.


May the forces of evil be confused on the way to your door,
UberDave
 
2013-03-13 09:11:20 AM
Dear Slate,

PLONK!

Best Regards and Warmest Wishes
 
2013-03-13 09:15:13 AM
Signoff should include your name your department and your phone and fax #s. Infa 100%.
 
2013-03-13 09:15:51 AM

Rev. Skarekroe: Talk about First World problems.


This.

{well bye .jpg}
 
2013-03-13 09:16:17 AM
If you want something to biatch about with regards to email, I think sign offs are at the lowest of the low for this ranty totem pole. No you want to rail on something how about idiots who use the reply all without actually looking to see who it might actually reply all to. Those people should have their thumbs crushed.

With warm regards
 
2013-03-13 09:17:39 AM
Is GFYASAMFP still acceptable?
 
2013-03-13 09:17:42 AM
Way to get to the heart of something we endlessly sit around pondering. Now maybe we can finally tackle other pressing issues like inaccurate hash tags on twitter, those really ruffle my feathers.
 
2013-03-13 09:18:55 AM
Who uses a signoff?

Nor is a salutation needed.
 
2013-03-13 09:19:02 AM
I always sign off with "Now Fark Off".

Reduces e-mail that way.
 
2013-03-13 09:19:12 AM

MyKingdomForYourHorse: If you want something to biatch about with regards to email, I think sign offs are at the lowest of the low for this ranty totem pole. No you want to rail on something how about idiots who use the reply all without actually looking to see who it might actually reply all to. Those people should have their thumbs crushed.

With warm regards


Hear Hear
 
2013-03-13 09:19:55 AM
I always use thanks or best, seems like the easiest way to close out an email. I do get a laugh out of people's email signatures and sign offs.

My favorite was a vendor with a few "inspirational" quotes and some random clip art of flowers and whatnot. What happened to just your name, title, and contact information?
 
2013-03-13 09:20:12 AM
There has been a lot of whiny articles like this lately. Yesterday on Gawker someone was throwing a hissy fit because people have the gall to leave him voicemails.
 
2013-03-13 09:21:47 AM

Pocket Ninja: If I use any word other than "thanks" as an email signoff, it's intended either as a sarcastic jab or an outright insult.


This

and

Ned Stark: Signoff should include your name your department and your phone and fax #s. Infa 100%.


Except address and not phone #

/I have no access to a fax
 
2013-03-13 09:22:12 AM

JacksonBryan: Whiney little shiat.


Done in one.
 
2013-03-13 09:22:34 AM
Glad we could have this little talk.
Cheers (hic)
--
sic hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes
 
2013-03-13 09:23:05 AM
I rarely use a sign off. Hell, I don't often bother to even put my name at the end of an email. The people getting them know who it's from, my name's in the address.

Don't use signatures either, more of a hastle.

/don't get me started on folks that keep the 'Sent from my iphone/droid/crackberry' option checked. Who cares how you're sending the message, as long as you proof read before hitting send it's all good.
 
2013-03-13 09:24:34 AM
Smell my taint-

Bung
 
2013-03-13 09:25:31 AM

Ned Stark: Signoff should include your name your department and your phone and fax #s. Infa 100%.


Dear Ned_Stark,

What's a 'fax'?

Cheers!
Glenford
 
2013-03-13 09:26:37 AM

Unoriginal_Username: I rarely use a sign off. Hell, I don't often bother to even put my name at the end of an email. The people getting them know who it's from, my name's in the address.

Don't use signatures either, more of a hastle.

/don't get me started on folks that keep the 'Sent from my iphone/droid/crackberry' option checked. Who cares how you're sending the message, as long as you proof read before hitting send it's all good.


The point of that is often they don't check to see if a word was changed on their smartphone. As an example, I'll often try to say "ill" and my phone will change it to "I'll." It's why my phone signature is always "Sent from my mobile device. Please excuse any spelling or grammatical errors."
 
2013-03-13 09:27:00 AM
Can't find anything better to complain about?

Good night. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning,
Sybarite
 
2013-03-13 09:27:22 AM

MyKingdomForYourHorse: If you want something to biatch about with regards to email, I think sign offs are at the lowest of the low for this ranty totem pole. No you want to rail on something how about idiots who use the reply all without actually looking to see who it might actually reply all to. Those people should have their thumbs crushed.

With warm regards


Related to that, department heads who forward an e-mail they got from corporate to everyone in the department, seeming without knowing that the global address it was sent to originally already included everyone in the department. Thanks Capt. Redundant.
 
2013-03-13 09:27:52 AM

wademh: Glad we could have this little talk.
Cheers (hic)
--
sic hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes


Ita vero

Human emotions,
G.I.M.C-P.
 
2013-03-13 09:27:58 AM

grokca: MyKingdomForYourHorse: If you want something to biatch about with regards to email, I think sign offs are at the lowest of the low for this ranty totem pole. No you want to rail on something how about idiots who use the reply all without actually looking to see who it might actually reply all to. Those people should have their thumbs crushed.

With warm regards

Hear Hear


My company disabled the mighty 'Replay All' function in Outlook worldwide a few years ago after one of the managers at our location replied with some inappropriate snarky comments meant for only one person.  Some of the recipients were rather high up in the organization and were not amused.
 
2013-03-13 09:31:21 AM
Dear Whiney Hipster Douchebag,

Some of us like courtesy and eloquence in our communication.

Kind Regards,

People raised in the South
 
2013-03-13 09:31:35 AM
Most annoying signoff evar:


Internal Revenue Service Circular 230 Disclosure: In compliance with IRS requirements, you are on notice that any U.S. tax advice contained in this communication (including any attachments) is not intended or written to be used, and cannot be used, for the purpose of (i) avoiding penalties under the Internal Revenue Code or (ii) promoting, marketing or recommending to another party any transaction or matter addressed herein.

This information contained in this electronic message and any attachments to this message are intended only for the exclusive use of the designated recipient(s). It may contain confidential or proprietary information and may be subject to the attorney-client privilege or other confidentiality protections. If you are not the intended recipient, or the person responsible for delivering the e-mail to the intended recipient, be advised you have received this message in error and that any use, dissemination, forwarding, printing, or copying is strictly prohibited. Thank you.
 
2013-03-13 09:31:46 AM
My email signoff consists of an autoplay advertisement that you can't close until it reaches the end of the advertisement. Sometimes it doesn't even let you see the entire email, you have to replay the advertisement and *hope* it works this time. Which wouldn't be bad except that the only takers I could find for advertising dollars were a couple of furrie porn sites. You should see the looks I get from mad parents that think it's some sort of Disney video or something they thought I sent them for their kid...

Sheesh! Like I have time to do that. -Some people..
 
2013-03-13 09:33:49 AM

Tax Boy: Most annoying signoff evar:


Internal Revenue Service Circular 230 Disclosure: In compliance with IRS requirements, you are on notice that any U.S. tax advice contained in this communication (including any attachments) is not intended or written to be used, and cannot be used, for the purpose of (i) avoiding penalties under the Internal Revenue Code or (ii) promoting, marketing or recommending to another party any transaction or matter addressed herein.

This information contained in this electronic message and any attachments to this message are intended only for the exclusive use of the designated recipient(s). It may contain confidential or proprietary information and may be subject to the attorney-client privilege or other confidentiality protections. If you are not the intended recipient, or the person responsible for delivering the e-mail to the intended recipient, be advised you have received this message in error and that any use, dissemination, forwarding, printing, or copying is strictly prohibited. Thank you.


I love those sign offs because I immediately duplicate and distribute them to anyone that will take it.
 
2013-03-13 09:34:29 AM

Tax Boy: Most annoying signoff evar:


Agreed.
 
2013-03-13 09:36:31 AM
To Whom it May Concern,

  Fark that guy.  E-mail is not a text message.  When I'm functioning as a professional, I expect to be communicated with professionally.  That means writing E-mail as though it were written on paper, stuffed in an envelope and mailed to the recipient.  Stop trying to get all lolidkbtwiircltnskthxbye on a medium meant for real communication.

Fark off and Die,
EViLTeW.
 
2013-03-13 09:38:07 AM

amindtat: Related to that, department heads who forward an e-mail they got from corporate to everyone in the department, seeming without knowing that the global address it was sent to originally already included everyone in the department. Thanks Capt. Redundant.


As a manager of an exchange server, this infuriates me to the nth degree.

"Why is my inbox so slow?"
"I don't perhaps its the 30k duplicate emails you have sitting in there?"
 
2013-03-13 09:38:31 AM
In conclusion, may you have a six pack and a baked potato so that you might have a seven-course Irish meal,

Billy Bathsalt


/Swinging Erudites FTW
 
2013-03-13 09:40:44 AM
I have a colleague that signs off:

"For the sake of our environment, please consider before printing this email"

No, I don't like her.
 
2013-03-13 09:41:02 AM
A far more devious issue is people who use signatures on message boards.
 
2013-03-13 09:42:21 AM
Dear Completely Self-absorbed prick journalist,

Go EABOD.

Warmest Regards,
those of us who respect the traditional rituals of greeting and good bye.
 
2013-03-13 09:43:22 AM

Archae hippy: I have a colleague that signs off:

"For the sake of our environment, please consider before printing this email"

No, I don't like her.


I've seen that one before. Guess some e-mail application automatically appends it.
 
2013-03-13 09:45:24 AM

MyKingdomForYourHorse: amindtat: Related to that, department heads who forward an e-mail they got from corporate to everyone in the department, seeming without knowing that the global address it was sent to originally already included everyone in the department. Thanks Capt. Redundant.

As a manager of an exchange server, this infuriates me to the nth degree.

"Why is my inbox so slow?"
"I don't perhaps its the 30k duplicate emails you have sitting in there?"


It makes me glad I don't have to do that anymore. At my previous employer we were required to keep 5 years of documents (including emails) per DHS, and 7 years of tax information per the IRS. Mailbox quotas were meaningless because people would constantly send messages to everyone in the company with attachments asking "Is this yours???" The gnashing of teeth was epic after the partners let me lock down the dist. groups.
 
2013-03-13 09:46:18 AM

Archae hippy: I have a colleague that signs off:

"For the sake of our environment, please consider before printing this email"

No, I don't like her.


I have a bunch of those too.

Our email signature is required to have name, department, title, address, phone (mobile, office, fax) and email address (which I think is silly because I sent the damn email).
 
2013-03-13 09:49:06 AM
EViLTeW:

Fark off and Die,
EViLTeW.


I may have to start using that with some of my peers.
 
2013-03-13 09:49:39 AM
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| `-._      | /    \ |      _.-' |
\     `-._  |/      \|  _.-'     /
 \        `-'        `-'        /
  `-._                    _.-'
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          `-._____.-'
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        / .-' .----. `-. \
       \_`-._`----'_.-'_/
         `-._`----'_.-'
              `----'

Whatever happened to the good email signoffs?
 
2013-03-13 09:50:08 AM

MightyPez: It makes me glad I don't have to do that anymore. At my previous employer we were required to keep 5 years of documents (including emails) per DHS, and 7 years of tax information per the IRS. Mailbox quotas were meaningless because people would constantly send messages to everyone in the company with attachments asking "Is this yours???" The gnashing of teeth was epic after the partners let me lock down the dist. groups.


I think I would go full blown alcoholic if we have that length of retention requirement. Thankfully here it's only three years, and we offload them to an archive at another location which gets stored in a SQL server. Then it's the SQL admins problem not mine.

Of course, I still get this on occasion

*phone rings
"Hello?"
"You know, you could at least warn me before you institute a new recipient policy"
"What, huh?"
"Ohh nothing, its just that our archive database just ballooned by 20% is all"
"Ohh shiat...sorry I forgot about that spat of reply alls last June"
 
2013-03-13 09:52:40 AM
If one is left wondering what one meant by the sign off:

1. the sender has done a very poor job communicating in the body of the text
2. the reader is a hypervigilant neurotic, most likely a chronic self doubter who reads between the lines of the minutiae of basic social interactions as a way of managing his or her existential loneliness and despair.

i'm thinking 2.

respectfully,
BtS
 
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