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(Ionia Sentinel-Standard)   How many screw drivers in the head does it take to incapacitate a Pollock? Just one. What are you, racist?   (sentinel-standard.com) divider line 41
    More: Scary, screwdrivers  
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4012 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2013 at 10:03 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-03-13 08:39:03 AM
Sounds fishy to me
 
2013-03-13 08:44:27 AM
Straight or Phillips?
 
2013-03-13 08:44:51 AM
Heard to say "Get that damn screwdriver out of my head!"
 
2013-03-13 09:08:36 AM
scotterb.files.wordpress.com

"There is an old Polish proverb that says:  don't get a screwdriver stuck in your head."
 
2013-03-13 09:14:52 AM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-03-13 10:06:32 AM
www.biography.com
"Hey guys, what's going on in this thread?"
 
2013-03-13 10:07:01 AM

DammitIForgotMyLogin: [upload.wikimedia.org image 280x570]


DammitIWasGoingToPostThat.
 
2013-03-13 10:10:10 AM
One? Dam he must be a lightweight, I usually have to drink five or six before I'm incapacitated.
 
2013-03-13 10:17:11 AM
Dude, just buy the fish bites, it's cheaper.
 
2013-03-13 10:21:57 AM

DammitIForgotMyLogin: [upload.wikimedia.org image 280x570]


Came here for that.  Kudos good sir.
 
2013-03-13 10:23:03 AM
So, did you screwdrive that Pollock?

Yeah. So?

What are you, a gay fish or something?

i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-13 10:26:11 AM
deliciousfish.web.unc.edu
?
 
2013-03-13 10:29:05 AM
Q: Why do Pollacks have holes in their foreheads?

A: From learning to eat with a fork.
 
2013-03-13 10:34:57 AM
Of COURSE it's just one. I mean, that's all you need to build a helicopter ejector seat or a submarine screen door.
 
2013-03-13 10:40:14 AM
Was it a left handed screwdriver?
 
2013-03-13 10:42:37 AM

DammitIForgotMyLogin: [upload.wikimedia.org image 280x570]


i45.tinypic.com

FTFY!
 
2013-03-13 10:45:24 AM
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/4832172/Man-skewers-head-during- D IY-venture.html

With blurred photos of what a screwdriver stuck in a pole looks like.
 
2013-03-13 10:46:12 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Straight or Phillips?


Robertson FTW
 
2013-03-13 10:48:06 AM
Fishy McBites, McBites... Fishy McBites, McBites..  Fishy Fishy!

cdn.uproxx.com
make it stop...
 
2013-03-13 10:59:29 AM
So will we be banning screwdrivers now or require background checks for them?
//You know millions of people are killed with hammers
 
2013-03-13 11:00:52 AM

GungFu: i45.tinypic.com


That's upside down...
 
2013-03-13 11:01:55 AM
TFA The screwdriver did not damage the man's eyes or brain.

Oh, the jokes one could make from this....
 
2013-03-13 11:14:58 AM
First thing I thought was "why are Eastern Europeans stabbing fish in the head"?

Classic joke Wisconsinites tell:


Did you hear about the new game fish the Illinois Department of Natural Resources is trying to breed? They took a Coho and crossed it with a Walleye. They called it a Kowal. It had great taste, and fought like hell, but wasn't very large. So they crossed it with a Muskie, and called it a Kowalski. It has the best of everything: it fights hard, it tastes great, and it grows up to 50 inches. The only problem is they're having trouble teaching to swim!
 
2013-03-13 11:28:20 AM
25.media.tumblr.com
"Well, I heard they sent a rocket to the sun once... at night. And there was that submarine, with the screen doors..."
 
2013-03-13 11:28:21 AM

fickenchucker: Classic joke Wisconsinites tell:

Did you hear about the new game fish the Illinois Department of Natural Resources is trying to breed? They took a Coho and crossed it with a Walleye. They called it a Kowal. It had great taste, and fought like hell, but wasn't very large. So they crossed it with a Muskie, and called it a Kowalski. It has the best of everything: it fights hard, it tastes great, and it grows up to 50 inches. The only problem is they're having trouble teaching to swim!


Ah, Wisconsin... walking that fine line on the cutting edge of humor since Ralph told Potzie to "Sit on it"
 
2013-03-13 11:36:54 AM
In other news, Polish is a race now.
 
2013-03-13 11:40:21 AM
Pray for Jackson.
 
2013-03-13 11:48:22 AM

Ctrl-Alt-Del: fickenchucker: Classic joke Wisconsinites tell:

Did you hear about the new game fish the Illinois Department of Natural Resources is trying to breed? They took a Coho and crossed it with a Walleye. They called it a Kowal. It had great taste, and fought like hell, but wasn't very large. So they crossed it with a Muskie, and called it a Kowalski. It has the best of everything: it fights hard, it tastes great, and it grows up to 50 inches. The only problem is they're having trouble teaching to swim!

Ah, Wisconsin... walking that fine line on the cutting edge of humor since Ralph told Potzie to "Sit on it"



I said "classic" in the sense of an old one from my 1970s childhood--the same era as Happy Days, so what's your lame point?

Seriously--who even tells Polack jokes in real life anymore?

/douche
 
2013-03-13 12:02:30 PM
You guys missed the point. It only takes one screwdriver to incapacitate a pollock, but it takes 4 pollocks to drive a screw.
 
2013-03-13 12:50:43 PM
Polak?
 
2013-03-13 01:06:55 PM
Don't suppose this could become a thread about Pole dancing?
 
2013-03-13 01:07:18 PM
As someone of Polish ancestry, I'm getting a real kick out of this thread. :)
 
2013-03-13 01:26:29 PM

offmymeds: As someone of Polish ancestry, I'm getting a real kick out of this thread. :)


I guess you had someone explain the jokes to you?

/I keed, I keed
 
2013-03-13 01:33:43 PM

sgnilward: Sounds fishy to me


Really, this thread was done in one.

But I should also mention that the 1/4 of me that is Polish was thoroughly offended by this headline. The other 3/4 thought it was hilarious.
 
2013-03-13 01:34:55 PM

ObscureNameHere: Don't suppose this could become a thread about Pole dancing?


What Pole dancing might look like:

sytereitz.com
 
2013-03-13 03:11:19 PM
I preferred the original headline.
 
2013-03-13 07:28:07 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Straight or Phillips?


Nut driver.  Of course he had to do it the hard way.
 
2013-03-13 07:41:34 PM
Jackson Pollock? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackson_Pollack ?

I think OP wants "polak"
 
2013-03-13 08:34:51 PM
came for the fish references, leaving satisfied
 
2013-03-14 12:50:46 AM
Sounds to me like he had a screw loose.
 
2013-03-14 04:37:12 PM
farm5.staticflickr.com
 
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