FARK.com: (7640923) Venezuelan scientists are now exploring the possibility that someone may have infected cancer with Hugo Chavez

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		Venezuelan scientists are now exploring the possibility that someone may have infected cancer with Hugo Chavez (cnn.com)		36
		More: Unlikely, Hugo Chavez, Maduro, human subject research, Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

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1754 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2013 at 8:30 AM | Favorite | share:

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StrikitRich		2013-03-13 08:32:02 AM

This Fark cliche' never gets old.

mat catastrophe		2013-03-13 08:32:28 AM

So, cancer's infectious again?

hardinparamedic		2013-03-13 08:32:44 AM

In other news, Venezuelan Scientists are more along the lines of Dr. Krieger from Archer, and have no understanding of how cancer works, or why the US wouldn't use that if they wanted to regime change a political dickbag anyway - they'd use a bullet or a bomb into his daughter's quincenera.

Why does CNN reprint Agitprop from Venezuela anyway? It's stuff like this that should make you go "Huh. Those people really are batshiat insane."

Oldiron_79		2013-03-13 08:32:58 AM

StrikitRich: This Fark cliche' never gets old.

And Generalisimo Franco is still dead.

ChipNASA		2013-03-13 08:33:53 AM

Too bad he didn't have asshole cancer. Oh wait.

i.imgur.com

Fool_Marquis		2013-03-13 08:35:41 AM

Insert "that post gave me cancer" spiderman here.

Nurglitch		2013-03-13 08:35:59 AM

Was polonium involved?

Molavian		2013-03-13 08:36:47 AM

hardinparamedic		2013-03-13 08:36:49 AM

Nurglitch: Was polonium involved?

Polonium kills by direct toxicity, not by cancer.

amindtat		2013-03-13 08:41:39 AM

Sean Penn: secret assassin, American patriot.

YixilTesiphon		2013-03-13 08:43:11 AM

What's next, Lysenkoism?

Norfolking Chance		2013-03-13 08:46:23 AM

hardinparamedic: In other news, Venezuelan Scientists are more along the lines of Dr. Krieger from Archer, and have no understanding of how cancer works, or why the US wouldn't use that if they wanted to regime change a political dickbag anyway - they'd use a bullet or a bomb into his daughter's quincenera.

Why does CNN reprint Agitprop from Venezuela anyway? It's stuff like this that should make you go "Huh. Those people really are batshiat insane."

I know i know it's not like America has a history of trying to remove heads of states they don't like with poisoned or exploding cigars or anything.

hardinparamedic		2013-03-13 08:50:14 AM

Norfolking Chance: I know i know it's not like America has a history of trying to remove heads of states they don't like with poisoned or exploding cigars or anything.

Because if America wanted Chavez removed with poison, or exploding Cigars, they wouldn't have done it by causing cancer. They'd have done it with poison, or explosives. You know, things guaranteed to kill people?

You don't really get the fact that poisoning someone doesn't work like that, right? Giving someone cancer is hard to do, even with exposure to carcinogens. It's not a sure-fire thing. And it's not even a sure-fire way to get rid of someone. Cancer is treatable. In addition to that, a poison would have caused something along the lines of a Leukemia. Chavez had a solid tumor. In fact, he had it removed and debulked SEVERAL times before his eventual death from metastasis.

onyxruby		2013-03-13 08:53:50 AM

I'm lumping these people in with JFK conspiracy theorists. Every country has nutcases that believe conspiracy theories. Their all bonkers.

TappingTheVein		2013-03-13 08:58:04 AM

I think it has to do with him being an obese unhealthy douche with a stressed out schedule who drank 40 cups of coffee a day.

The WindowLicker		2013-03-13 08:59:26 AM

This must be why he did not have Venezuelan scientists try to treat his cancer.

Remember kids, science does not care if it is politically expedient.

You'd turn it off when I was halfway across		2013-03-13 09:00:53 AM

I think my favourite batshiat conspiracy of this type was Robert Mugabe's claim that the British government weather control was the cause of drought in Zimbabwe.

... because if any country has weather control technology it's clearly going to be a country where it rains >250 days a year.

We just love it when it drizzles.

BAMFinator		2013-03-13 09:01:31 AM

If they find who gave it to him, does he get a reward?

Xaneidolon		2013-03-13 09:06:33 AM

Interesting that the points made so far in this thread are not about the act but only the method.

If that doesn't give you pause...

Tatterdemalian		2013-03-13 09:11:33 AM

hardinparamedic: Norfolking Chance: I know i know it's not like America has a history of trying to remove heads of states they don't like with poisoned or exploding cigars or anything.

Because if America wanted Chavez removed with poison, or exploding Cigars, they wouldn't have done it by causing cancer. They'd have done it with poison, or explosives. You know, things guaranteed to kill people?

You don't really get the fact that poisoning someone doesn't work like that, right? Giving someone cancer is hard to do, even with exposure to carcinogens. It's not a sure-fire thing. And it's not even a sure-fire way to get rid of someone. Cancer is treatable. In addition to that, a poison would have caused something along the lines of a Leukemia. Chavez had a solid tumor. In fact, he had it removed and debulked SEVERAL times before his eventual death from metastasis.

Doesn't matter. They want to believe, strongly enough to die for their belief, and certainly strongly enough to kill their designated enemies for it. Worst of all, their belief doesn't handicap their ability to kill those that dare question their belief as much as the more logical people want to believe, especially since the UN has decided the people who anger the believers are more at fault for the violence directed against them than the believers committing the violence.

Lt. Cheese Weasel		2013-03-13 09:12:02 AM

onyxruby: I'm lumping these people in with JFK conspiracy theorists. Every country has nutcases that believe conspiracy theories. Their all bonkers.

Their all bonkers what?

Satanic_Hamster		2013-03-13 09:12:57 AM

hardinparamedic: In other news, Venezuelan Scientists are more along the lines of Dr. Krieger from Archer, and have no understanding of how cancer works, or why the US wouldn't use that if they wanted to regime change a political dickbag anyway - they'd use a bullet or a bomb into his daughter's quincenera.

Why does CNN reprint Agitprop from Venezuela anyway? It's stuff like this that should make you go "Huh. Those people really are batshiat insane."

I think you're confusing Venezuelan Scientists with Venezuelan Politicians.

ComicBookGuy		2013-03-13 09:13:36 AM

You'd turn it off when I was halfway across: I think my favourite batshiat conspiracy of this type was Robert Mugabe's claim that the British government weather control was the cause of drought in Zimbabwe.

... because if any country has weather control technology it's clearly going to be a country where it rains >250 days a year.

We just love it when it drizzles.

I remember when I lived in Belgium (pretty identical to England in climate) it wasn't so bad. The rain and lack of light, I guess.

Lt. Cheese Weasel		2013-03-13 09:15:33 AM

Xaneidolon: Interesting that the points made so far in this thread are not about the act but only the method.

If that doesn't give you pause...

In light of the fact that there is ZERO evidence to back up the claim, it's not unusual to see.

hardinparamedic		2013-03-13 09:23:14 AM

Xaneidolon: Interesting that the points made so far in this thread are not about the act but only the method.

If that doesn't give you pause...

Yes, because pointing out the claim in and of itself is not feasible and doesn't make any sense means that Americans are okay with the assassination of the heads of nations.

cl.jroo.me

Cream of Meat		2013-03-13 09:32:44 AM

hardinparamedic: In other news, Venezuelan Scientists are more along the lines of Dr. Krieger from Archer, and have no understanding of how cancer works, or why the US wouldn't use that if they wanted to regime change a political dickbag anyway - they'd use a bullet or a bomb into his daughter's quincenera.

Why does CNN reprint Agitprop from Venezuela anyway? It's stuff like this that should make you go "Huh. Those people really are batshiat insane."

President of an oil rich nation who doesn't bend over and kiss America's asshole= political dickbag

Got it.

indarwinsshadow		2013-03-13 09:47:32 AM

Hmmmm. I wasn't aware that the word Venezuelan Scientist translates to full on retard. Learn something new everyday.

Satanic_Hamster		2013-03-13 09:49:44 AM

Cream of Meat: President of an oil rich nation who doesn't bend over and kiss America's asshole= political dickbag

Got it.

Troll eh.

indarwinsshadow		2013-03-13 10:07:47 AM

Cream of Meat: hardinparamedic: In other news, Venezuelan Scientists are more along the lines of Dr. Krieger from Archer, and have no understanding of how cancer works, or why the US wouldn't use that if they wanted to regime change a political dickbag anyway - they'd use a bullet or a bomb into his daughter's quincenera.

Why does CNN reprint Agitprop from Venezuela anyway? It's stuff like this that should make you go "Huh. Those people really are batshiat insane."

President of an oil rich nation who doesn't bend over and kiss America's asshole= political dickbag

Got it.

Isn't there a bridge you should be under, waiting on some goats to go tripping by?

hardinparamedic		2013-03-13 10:33:50 AM

Cream of Meat: President of an oil rich nation who doesn't bend over and kiss America's asshole= political dickbag

Got it.

Not sure if you're a troll, or a 'tard. Open to the possibility you're both.

schrepjm		2013-03-13 11:42:08 AM

You'd turn it off when I was halfway across: I think my favourite batshiat conspiracy of this type was Robert Mugabe's claim that the British government weather control was the cause of drought in Zimbabwe.

... because if any country has weather control technology it's clearly going to be a country where it rains >250 days a year.

We just love it when it drizzles.

The near constant drizzle seems great to a country in a terrible drought, so they then believe that everyone would appreciate it?

Greedy British government bogarting all the drizzle.

traylor		2013-03-13 12:04:39 PM

mat catastrophe: So, cancer's infectious again?

palaeo.gly.bris.ac.uk

Not sure if serious.

//Devil facial tumour disease

Norfolking Chance		2013-03-13 01:07:58 PM

hardinparamedic: Norfolking Chance: I know i know it's not like America has a history of trying to remove heads of states they don't like with poisoned or exploding cigars or anything.

Because if America wanted Chavez removed with poison, or exploding Cigars, they wouldn't have done it by causing cancer. They'd have done it with poison, or explosives. You know, things guaranteed to kill people?

You don't really get the fact that poisoning someone doesn't work like that, right? Giving someone cancer is hard to do, even with exposure to carcinogens. It's not a sure-fire thing. And it's not even a sure-fire way to get rid of someone. Cancer is treatable. In addition to that, a poison would have caused something along the lines of a Leukemia. Chavez had a solid tumor. In fact, he had it removed and debulked SEVERAL times before his eventual death from metastasis.

I know it doesn't but how many times in the last 60 years have people opposed to US backed interests in Central and South America died in ways that have been traced back to the CIA or their "friends"?

hardinparamedic		2013-03-13 01:14:03 PM

Norfolking Chance: I know it doesn't but how many times in the last 60 years have people opposed to US backed interests in Central and South America died in ways that have been traced back to the CIA or their "friends"?

We're still playing Proxy War with the Soviet Union?

Now we're just playing the "Just asking questions" game.

NephilimNexus		2013-03-13 02:04:21 PM

Actually... the CIA did, in fact, assassinate a good number of people back in the 1950s by hiding radioactive materials in their homes.

It's not as quick as just shooting them, but it puts a nice comfortable distance between themselves and the blame.

ciberido		2013-03-13 10:50:38 PM

Norfolking Chance: hardinparamedic: In other news, Venezuelan Scientists are more along the lines of Dr. Krieger from Archer, and have no understanding of how cancer works, or why the US wouldn't use that if they wanted to regime change a political dickbag anyway - they'd use a bullet or a bomb into his daughter's quincenera.

Why does CNN reprint Agitprop from Venezuela anyway? It's stuff like this that should make you go "Huh. Those people really are batshiat insane."

I know i know it's not like America has a history of trying to remove heads of states they don't like with poisoned or exploding cigars or anything.

Sure, America has a history of trying to remove heads of states they don't like. But they're usually a lot more important than Hugo Chávez ever was.

And on another note, could we please spell his name correctly? It's Hugo Chávez, not Hugo Chavez . There's an accent mark.

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