If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CNN)   Spilled your coffee on your keyboard again? No problem, if you work at Facebook - just stop by the coffee vending machine, then the keyboard vending machine   (tech.fortune.cnn.com) divider line 37
    More: Interesting, Facebook, oil spill, original idea, coffee  
•       •       •

2884 clicks; posted to Geek » on 13 Mar 2013 at 9:34 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-03-13 08:07:27 AM  
"this keyboard is $99 how will you be paying for it?"
"401k please"

please insert worthless stock
zzzzip

here you go
"out pops a keyboard"
 
2013-03-13 08:52:59 AM  
www.hpnonline.com

They've been using one of these for a couple of years now over in one of the High Risk OB centers in Memphis. Yes, that is a fingerprint-accessed Omnicell system, like you'd use for drugs or controlled supplies in a hospital, to get a new pair of scrubs out.
 
2013-03-13 09:31:49 AM  
Must be nice to work in a place that has that kind of hardware budget (those keyboards do look like the crappy ones that come free/mandatory with every dell computer).  Over here we have to jump through hoops mainly because we don't have enough shiat in stock in the office.

Usually I just spend my own money on stuff like that.  I'll take it home when I quit/get fired.

/ Is there a charity or something I can donate my crappy free/mandatory keyboards and mice to?  I tried desperately hard to not have either ship with my latest Dell purchase, but they would not let me complete the order.  How could you possibly use a computer without a keyboard and mouse?  We simply cannot fathom that you might already have a nice ergonomical version of each that you'd prefer to use instead of our crap.
 
2013-03-13 09:51:50 AM  
Vending machine? How droll! How quaint! Don't these Luddites know about a little thing called 3D printing? Next you'll tell me they still have their main office on this mud ball?
 
2013-03-13 09:53:27 AM  

Quantum Apostrophe: Vending machine? How droll! How quaint! Don't these Luddites know about a little thing called 3D printing? Next you'll tell me they still have their main office on this mud ball?


I like how you're expanding your area of trolling... nice job!
 
2013-03-13 10:02:08 AM  

Grither: Quantum Apostrophe: Vending machine? How droll! How quaint! Don't these Luddites know about a little thing called 3D printing? Next you'll tell me they still have their main office on this mud ball?

I like how you're expanding your area of trolling... nice job!


I actually had to make sure I was in the right thread because I was fairly sure keyboard vending machines had nothing to do with either space exploration or 3D printing.
 
2013-03-13 10:04:47 AM  
I though we had the ability to make waterproof keyboards fairly easily, seems allot cheaper then constantly replacing due to beverage accidents.
 
2013-03-13 10:06:47 AM  
If any website needs to have a keyboard vending machine, you're reading it! Now get back to making the funny you slackers.
 
2013-03-13 10:27:18 AM  

pastorkius: Grither: Quantum Apostrophe: Vending machine? How droll! How quaint! Don't these Luddites know about a little thing called 3D printing? Next you'll tell me they still have their main office on this mud ball?

I like how you're expanding your area of trolling... nice job!

I actually had to make sure I was in the right thread because I was fairly sure keyboard vending machines had nothing to do with either space exploration or 3D printing.


If you believe 3D printing is the future, then it must obviously include pretty much everything that happens. So, how close are we to 3D printing an entirely functional item like a keyboard? I just want to know since the species is getting ready to colonize the universe and all.

Just a keyboard. Well, tell me.
 
2013-03-13 10:35:01 AM  

hardinparamedic: High Risk OB centers in Memphis


As in "there's a high risk you're pregnant?"
 
2013-03-13 10:36:49 AM  

Quantum Apostrophe: pastorkius: Grither: Quantum Apostrophe: Vending machine? How droll! How quaint! Don't these Luddites know about a little thing called 3D printing? Next you'll tell me they still have their main office on this mud ball?

I like how you're expanding your area of trolling... nice job!

I actually had to make sure I was in the right thread because I was fairly sure keyboard vending machines had nothing to do with either space exploration or 3D printing.

If you believe 3D printing is the future, then it must obviously include pretty much everything that happens. So, how close are we to 3D printing an entirely functional item like a keyboard? I just want to know since the species is getting ready to colonize the universe and all.

Just a keyboard. Well, tell me.


What I said was:
I actually had to make sure I was in the right thread because I was fairly sure keyboard vending machines had nothing to do with either space exploration or 3D printing.
You see, because the article has nothing to do with 3D printing or space but did involve a novel solution to ensure employees are getting replacement office equipment quickly & efficiently.
 
2013-03-13 10:49:36 AM  
I like Facebook because it sometimes enables me to find bikini pics of my female coworkers and friends.

...Now, what's this about a keyboard?
 
2013-03-13 10:58:45 AM  

dbirchall: hardinparamedic: High Risk OB centers in Memphis

As in "there's a high risk you're pregnant?"


As in  there's a high risk you, or your baby will die within moments of exiting the womb, if not before, without special medical care.
 
2013-03-13 11:00:00 AM  

sjmcc13: I though we had the ability to make waterproof keyboards fairly easily, seems allot cheaper then constantly replacing due to beverage accidents.


Waterproof, possibly. I've dropped water on a few of mine and they kept working just fine afterward without a specified "waterproof" designation. It's when you drop coffee or soda that gums up the works when that keyboard isn't gonna work anymore.
 
2013-03-13 11:10:58 AM  

serial_crusher: Must be nice to work in a place that has that kind of hardware budget (those keyboards do look like the crappy ones that come free/mandatory with every dell computer).  Over here we have to jump through hoops mainly because we don't have enough shiat in stock in the office.

Usually I just spend my own money on stuff like that.  I'll take it home when I quit/get fired.

/ Is there a charity or something I can donate my crappy free/mandatory keyboards and mice to?  I tried desperately hard to not have either ship with my latest Dell purchase, but they would not let me complete the order.  How could you possibly use a computer without a keyboard and mouse?  We simply cannot fathom that you might already have a nice ergonomical version of each that you'd prefer to use instead of our crap.


Lowest common denominator man. You have to build the system so clinically retarded gophers couldn't get a 'non functional' computer ordered. So you can't order one without 'critical' parts like mouse, video card, power supply, etc.

When in doubt, imagine gramma trying to order one.
 
2013-03-13 11:11:12 AM  
Link is so old, the video only worked for the ad.
 
2013-03-13 11:22:32 AM  
i106.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-13 11:43:14 AM  
Yeah this was news in 2011.  WTF.
 
2013-03-13 11:46:17 AM  

KellyX: [i106.photobucket.com image 350x500]


Zealot:  Someone who won't change their mind and won't change the topic.

/I'm assuming that's because he's in here treatin' the place like a fast food bathroom stall.
 
2013-03-13 12:08:09 PM  
As an IT professional, this seems very odd to me.  it would be much more expedient if the vending machine pooped out fully-imaged new computers.

What I do not understand is why a power cord needs to be in their vending machine.  I don't think I've EVER been asked for one.  And why screen wipes?  Do people realy need to be taught a lesson in how expensive a farking screen wipe is?

WTF is going on at Facebook?
 
2013-03-13 12:10:07 PM  

UrCa: sjmcc13: I though we had the ability to make waterproof keyboards fairly easily, seems allot cheaper then constantly replacing due to beverage accidents.

Waterproof, possibly. I've dropped water on a few of mine and they kept working just fine afterward without a specified "waterproof" designation. It's when you drop coffee or soda that gums up the works when that keyboard isn't gonna work anymore.


It it is properly waterproofed, you can take it over to the sink, wash of the coffee/soda, (might need to dry it) and it will still work.
 
2013-03-13 12:11:21 PM  

midigod: As an IT professional, this seems very odd to me.  it would be much more expedient if the vending machine pooped out fully-imaged new computers.

What I do not understand is why a power cord needs to be in their vending machine.  I don't think I've EVER been asked for one.  And why screen wipes?  Do people realy need to be taught a lesson in how expensive a farking screen wipe is?

WTF is going on at Facebook?


I suspect it's just like the NASA vending machine, you don't pay for the stuff, it's for employees to get, but it's about inventory control. They probably slide their company ID badge or card or put in a employee number and it tracks the inventory to that employee and if they start getting lots of keyboards, HR probably asks why they needed 3 keyboards in one month.
 
2013-03-13 12:14:29 PM  

midigod: As an IT professional, this seems very odd to me.  it would be much more expedient if the vending machine pooped out fully-imaged new computers.

What I do not understand is why a power cord needs to be in their vending machine.  I don't think I've EVER been asked for one.  And why screen wipes?  Do people realy need to be taught a lesson in how expensive a farking screen wipe is?

WTF is going on at Facebook?


short answer is probably that they had space to fill in the vending machine, so had to figure out something to stick in there.

Power cables though.  That's the sort of thing where the one time in a million years you need one, they're a biatch to find.  They're all over the place when you don't need them.

I wonder what the process is like to give stuff back to the vending machine.  "Oh, I spilled coffee on my nice expensive ergonomic keyboard so I got this piece of junk temporarily until amazon could ship a new good one." or, "I left my laptop's power adapter at home, so I just needed this for that one meeting..."  I bet that process is still annoying enough that people just throw the stuff away when they're done with it
 
2013-03-13 12:17:04 PM  

sjmcc13: UrCa: sjmcc13: I though we had the ability to make waterproof keyboards fairly easily, seems allot cheaper then constantly replacing due to beverage accidents.

Waterproof, possibly. I've dropped water on a few of mine and they kept working just fine afterward without a specified "waterproof" designation. It's when you drop coffee or soda that gums up the works when that keyboard isn't gonna work anymore.

It it is properly waterproofed, you can take it over to the sink, wash of the coffee/soda, (might need to dry it) and it will still work.


None of the waterproof keyboards I've seen have clacky keys.  I desperately need my positive tactile feedback, so I can know I've applied a sufficient amount of pressure to each key.  And more importantly I need the guys around me to hear me furiously tying away so they know I'm working.
 
2013-03-13 12:17:24 PM  

KellyX: I suspect it's just like the NASA vending machine, you don't pay for the stuff, it's for employees to get, but it's about inventory control.


Sure, that part's wonderful.  But I can't recall the last time we needed inventory control for power cords and screen wipes.

Now if they put toner in there, and the system orders more toner when the last (or second-to-last) one gets used, then that would be fantastic.  But holy hell, screen wipes?  Seriously?

Damn, I just don't get some IT departments' mentalities.  At all.
 
2013-03-13 12:42:10 PM  

midigod: KellyX: I suspect it's just like the NASA vending machine, you don't pay for the stuff, it's for employees to get, but it's about inventory control.

Sure, that part's wonderful.  But I can't recall the last time we needed inventory control for power cords and screen wipes.

Now if they put toner in there, and the system orders more toner when the last (or second-to-last) one gets used, then that would be fantastic.  But holy hell, screen wipes?  Seriously?

Damn, I just don't get some IT departments' mentalities.  At all.


I dunno, just my guess is inventory control, doesn't FB employee over 3500 last I saw... Did you have to deal with that many people and if so, would it of been easier to just put all the silly little supplies people came to you about in a machine that tracks inventory and shows how much is used so you know how much to order on average? *shrugs*

When I did IT at a small company of 15 people, not being bugged about power cords, air cans, keyboards, mice, batteries and other stupid shiat when I had real projects to work on would of been nice, but I also was placed on control of the items so people didn't take what they want and then others didn't have when they needed shiat... *shrugs*
 
2013-03-13 12:49:39 PM  
What do you do when the little spiral things fail to drop your keyboard?  Pay another $xxx??  bullshiat... *rocks the machine back and forth to make it fall*

sounds like a great idea...
 
2013-03-13 12:52:44 PM  
In the meantime if I order a new $10 mouse with my new PC, I get an email from the "PC Coordinator" asking me if I know what it is.  God help me if I ask for a new keyboard.

// I bought my printers and monitors myself.  "No. We won't be buying monitors."
/// Work from home.
//// No. It's a mind-boggly BIG company.
 
2013-03-13 01:09:18 PM  

KellyX: When I did IT at a small company of 15 people, not being bugged about power cords, air cans, keyboards, mice, batteries and other stupid shiat when I had real projects to work on would of been nice


I agree with that in general, and it would certainly be helpful if we knew what items were actually in that dispenser.  I was just going by what the article mentioned, which was only keyboards, power cords, and screen wipes, which leads me to believe that those were the most important, or most-used, items in there.  That's what I don't understand.  I do IT for a company of 750 people, and in 13 years at this company, I've never, ever been asked for a power cord.  Power strips, yes, but that's not the same thing.  I've occasionally been asked for a screen wipe, but we just buy them by the box of 100, and the cost is so low that inventory control simply isn't an issue with them.

It just seems like there could be many other items that would be more useful to have in the machine, and it makes me wonder why they're not mentioned.  Our biggest inventory control item, from a standpoint of being sure we always had stock, is toner.  I get a request for a keyboard (without a PC) about twice a year, so it's not a big deal for me, but I can understand why it might be for other companies.

But their examples just seem ridiculous in general, having so little value that it tends to demean their effort into looking like a gimmick.  And if their own press release tends to make it look like a gimmick instead of noting the real usefulness, then I have to believe that that's exactly what it is.
 
2013-03-13 01:36:37 PM  
I finished off a tub of garlic stuffed olives a few days ago, and then knocked the tub of oil onto my keyboard, so I'm really getting a kick etc.

Strangely it was onlythe space bar that stopped working. And that typo was an accident but it's rather ironic so I'm leaving it in.
 
2013-03-13 08:48:28 PM  
Want to impress me? Start selling individual replacement keys.

 Can't see my a...s...d...e...or r keys anymore.
 
2013-03-13 10:50:58 PM  

midigod: What I do not understand is why a power cord needs to be in their vending machine. I don't think I've EVER been asked for one.


I have a MacBook Pro that has one of those power cords that bends and tears and I've needed three new power cords over the past six years, so I'm getting a kick out of your comment.
 
2013-03-14 06:23:36 AM  

skrame: midigod: What I do not understand is why a power cord needs to be in their vending machine. I don't think I've EVER been asked for one.

I have a MacBook Pro that has one of those power cords that bends and tears and I've needed three new power cords over the past six years, so I'm getting a kick out of your comment.


I've only been using Apple laptops (either for work or at home) for about... a dozen years now, so I'm curious: has Apple  ever made a laptop power cord (perhaps pre-2001?) that doesn't bend, tear, fray, melt, and burn?  Particulary  when you wrap it around the winding bits they provide?

I think any sadistic, evil urges Jony Ive ever had were manifested in those.  "Hey, wouldn't it be great if we gave people a convenient way to wind their cables?  And didn't tell them that winding their cables that convenient way would just happen to make them wear out faster, so we could sell more replacements?"
 
2013-03-14 07:49:08 AM  

midigod: But holy hell, screen wipes?  Seriously


Thats so Facebook knows who wastes too much time in the broom closet fappin.
 
2013-03-14 10:49:15 AM  

midigod: But their examples just seem ridiculous in general, having so little value that it tends to demean their effort into looking like a gimmick.  And if their own press release tends to make it look like a gimmick instead of noting the real usefulness, then I have to believe that that's exactly what it is.


Maybe the problem just is the article writer naming off stuff they could recognize and was easiest to remember when it came time to writing the article as well. *shrugs*

Although I might see if you work at FB monitoring shiat, screen wipes might be necessary when you spit your coffee all over the screen at seeing some of the crazy shiat that people post.
 
2013-03-14 04:57:00 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: pastorkius: Grither: Quantum Apostrophe: Vending machine? How droll! How quaint! Don't these Luddites know about a little thing called 3D printing? Next you'll tell me they still have their main office on this mud ball?

I like how you're expanding your area of trolling... nice job!

I actually had to make sure I was in the right thread because I was fairly sure keyboard vending machines had nothing to do with either space exploration or 3D printing.

If you believe 3D printing is the future, then it must obviously include pretty much everything that happens. So, how close are we to 3D printing an entirely functional item like a keyboard? I just want to know since the species is getting ready to colonize the universe and all.

Just a keyboard. Well, tell me.


I will. Right after I finish printing your new bladder/skin graft/kidney. I thought you might need to replace yours after all the pissing on 3D printing you do. Or maybe to get started on that life extension you love so much. And by the way... based on this, that keyboard is doable now if you are willing to wire it up.
 
2013-03-15 03:14:47 PM  

skrame: midigod: What I do not understand is why a power cord needs to be in their vending machine. I don't think I've EVER been asked for one.

I have a MacBook Pro that has one of those power cords that bends and tears and I've needed three new power cords over the past six years, so I'm getting a kick out of your comment.


Huh.  Well, I guess if I worked in a Mac shop, then I would have to replace a lot of power cords.

/you learn something every day!
 
Displayed 37 of 37 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report