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(The Sun)   Woman caught performing sex act on boyfriend inside bank. It's not clear if he left a deposit   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 41
    More: Dumbass, Lloyds TSB, pairs  
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7820 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2013 at 6:07 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-03-13 12:09:32 AM
In the foyer? Haven't these people ever heard of safety deposit box rooms?
 
2013-03-13 12:16:59 AM
A woman and her niece, ten, saw them and the "very upset" child said: "I can see his long skinny thing and floppy bits."

On one hand, a complete stranger said his schlong was long.  On the other hand, it was a 10 year old girl.  Not sure if that's an acceptable compliment.
 
2013-03-13 12:31:42 AM
Hopefully he avoided any penalty for early withdrawal...
 
2013-03-13 12:47:38 AM
But was her deposit box safe?
 
FNG [TotalFark]
2013-03-13 12:48:16 AM
I've only got one thing left on my sex bucket list, and a bank foyer isn't it.

Well, unless you count space sex, that would be two.

Since I'm pseudo-married, neither is going to happen.
 
2013-03-13 12:57:29 AM
So was it an inside job?
 
2013-03-13 01:28:00 AM
she let his deposit slip
 
2013-03-13 01:50:41 AM
Hey! I've been to Haverfordwest. No one preformed a sex act on me in the bank though.

I guess I don't really have a point other than saying that I've been to Haverfordwest.
 
2013-03-13 02:11:57 AM
And it was the least disgusting thing done in that bank that day.

/Usury...
 
2013-03-13 02:26:52 AM
SAFE SEX
 
2013-03-13 04:50:49 AM

FNG: I've only got one thing left on my sex bucket list, and a bank foyer isn't it.

Well, unless you count space sex, that would be two.

Since I'm pseudo-married, neither is going to happen.


"Pseudo-married?"  Aw, Jeez, is that where marriage equality is leading?
 
2013-03-13 04:51:51 AM
Sounds like a Foyer transformation.
 
2013-03-13 06:17:07 AM
At least he didn't hit the ATM.
 
2013-03-13 06:18:31 AM
Sounds like some jealous people who weren't getting blown in the foyer.
 
2013-03-13 06:21:28 AM
"A woman and her niece, ten, saw them and the "very upset" child said: "I can see his long skinny thing and floppy bits in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me."
 
2013-03-13 06:22:25 AM
wildcardjack: And it was the least disgusting thing done in that bank that day.

 +1

/British "floppy bits" = American" balls"
//silly Brits
 
2013-03-13 06:25:57 AM
If the little girl could see his "long skinny thing" then the woman wasn't doing her job correctly.

Leave my "floppy things" alone.
 
2013-03-13 06:26:51 AM

Bung_Howdy: wildcardjack: And it was the least disgusting thing done in that bank that day.

 +1

/British Ten year old: "floppy bits" = Adult:" balls"
//silly Brits


We say balls as well you know.
 
2013-03-13 06:28:20 AM

The Onion is prophetic: A woman and her niece, ten, saw them and the "very upset" child said: "I can see his long skinny thing and floppy bits."

On one hand, a complete stranger said his schlong was long.  On the other hand, it was a 10 year old girl.  Not sure if that's an acceptable compliment.


She also said it was skinny.  That's not a compliment from any age.
 
2013-03-13 06:30:35 AM

The Onion is prophetic: A woman and her niece, ten, saw them and the "very upset" child said: "I can see his long skinny thing and floppy bits."

On one hand, a complete stranger said his schlong was long.  On the other hand, it was a 10 year old girl.  Not sure if that's an acceptable compliment.


You've got it all wrong, this is precisely why priests go after little boys.   Their dong looks so much bigger in those tiny hands.
 
2013-03-13 06:32:46 AM

Bigdogdaddy: If the little girl could see his "long skinny thing" then the woman wasn't doing her job correctly.
.


Kids have the internet. By ten they know what's up.

My theory: Maybe she wasn't talking about genitals.

We'll have to test him.

www.liveforfilms.com
 
2013-03-13 06:34:04 AM

farkingismybusiness: "A woman and her niece, ten, saw them and the "very upset" child said: "I can see his long skinny thing and floppy bits in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me."


Beat me to it.

/No pun intended.
//Alright, pun very intended.
 
2013-03-13 06:44:29 AM
When I was that age they only gave away Toasters.
 
GBB
2013-03-13 06:55:00 AM
t1.gstatic.com
 
2013-03-13 07:04:35 AM

The Onion is prophetic: A woman and her niece, ten, saw them and the "very upset" child said: "I can see his long skinny thing and floppy bits."

On one hand, a complete stranger said his schlong was long.  On the other hand, it was a 10 year old girl.  Not sure if that's an acceptable compliment.


Makes you wonder what she is comparing it to
 
2013-03-13 07:07:16 AM
Hello Ms Teller, I have a large deposit to make, via my floppy bits.

Bow-chicka-bow-wow
 
2013-03-13 07:20:30 AM

Feed_The_Walrus: Bung_Howdy: wildcardjack: And it was the least disgusting thing done in that bank that day.

 +1

/British Ten year old: "floppy bits" = Adult:" balls"
//silly Brits

We say balls as well you know.


I thought "bollocks" was the prefered nomenclature?
 
2013-03-13 07:39:23 AM
Gee Officer, I took out a small business loan which we settleled with a consumer to consumer transaction...
 
2013-03-13 08:02:34 AM
I... actually find this incredibly hot.
 
2013-03-13 08:07:38 AM

Yogimus: The Onion is prophetic: A woman and her niece, ten, saw them and the "very upset" child said: "I can see his long skinny thing and floppy bits."

On one hand, a complete stranger said his schlong was long.  On the other hand, it was a 10 year old girl.  Not sure if that's an acceptable compliment.

Makes you wonder what she is comparing it to


Dammit. I was going to make that comment.
Long? Sure, she is comparing it to her little brother at home.

Skinny?!
I just don't know.
 
2013-03-13 08:26:25 AM

YodaBlues: At least he didn't hit the ATM.


What you did there, I see it....
 
2013-03-13 08:36:23 AM

RobSeace: Feed_The_Walrus: Bung_Howdy: wildcardjack: And it was the least disgusting thing done in that bank that day.

 +1

/British Ten year old: "floppy bits" = Adult:" balls"
//silly Brits

We say balls as well you know.

I thought "bollocks" was the prefered nomenclature?


Never mind the floppy bits, here's the Sex Pistols.
 
2013-03-13 08:53:14 AM

log_jammin: Hey! I've been to Haverfordwest. No one preformed a sex act on me in the bank though.

I guess I don't really have a point other than saying that I've been to Haverfordwest.


You poor sod. They're crazy in Haverfordwest. They like to dress as bats.
 
2013-03-13 08:55:36 AM
  But it's ok that the ten year old has probably seen a video recording of a real beheading, the movie The Stoning of Soraya M., and hundreds of hours of German sheisse porn on the internet. How dare those lusty drunken yobs expose her to something any farm kid sees in the barnyard from birth! Procreation is filthy! The kids must never see penises , including their own, and must be humiliated and punished if they display any form of curiosity about their bodies because we adults were raised by overly strict disciplinarians who were ashamed of their sexual organs and lewd desires! Whaaaaargl censorship is good!

  Having been raised by fairly open-minded parents who tried to answer all my curiosities within the constraints of basic common sense and decency without being held back by ridiculous Elizabethan morals regarding bodily functions I agree these two may have made a poor choice as to the venue of their pursuit of carnal pleasure but they sure as shiat didn't deserve jail time for a bloody beej. Way to go, nanny state justice system! You saved society from a couple of perverted degenerates. I bet after passing sentence the goddamn magistrate went back to his chambers to continue snorting coke off the belly of an under-age prostitute.
 
2013-03-13 09:25:31 AM

Bung_Howdy: wildcardjack: And it was the least disgusting thing done in that bank that day.

 +1

/British "floppy bits" = American" balls"
//silly Brits


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-13 09:45:30 AM
0-media-cdn.foolz.us
 
2013-03-13 10:02:27 AM
The pair, of Haverfordwest, were given suspended 16-week jail terms by the town's magistrates. They must also do alcohol awareness and community work sessions.

/pretty sure they are already aware of alcohol...
 
2013-03-13 10:56:23 AM
Was there a substantial penalty for early withdrawal?
 
2013-03-13 11:16:01 AM

Eugoogoolizer: The pair, of Haverfordwest, were given suspended 16-week jail terms by the town's magistrates. They must also do alcohol awareness and community work sessions.

/pretty sure they are already aware of alcohol...


Jesus, that's all?

In America, he would have been imprisoned for at least 5 years and forced to register as a sex offender because a 10-year-old allegedly saw his floppy bits.
 
2013-03-13 02:20:01 PM
Ohlookabutterfly: ow dare those lusty drunken yobs expose her to something any farm kid sees in the barnyard from birth! Procreation is filthy!

While I generally agree with the sentiment of your post, I've never seen nor heard of farm animals doing the particular thing this couple was doing, which is unrelated to procreation.

/Damn you for putting the image in my head though...
 
2013-03-13 04:41:15 PM

Gaseous Anomaly: Ohlookabutterfly: ow dare those lusty drunken yobs expose her to something any farm kid sees in the barnyard from birth! Procreation is filthy!

While I generally agree with the sentiment of your post, I've never seen nor heard of farm animals doing the particular thing this couple was doing, which is unrelated to procreation.

/Damn you for putting the image in my head though...


  Well, if Orwell says they can talk, I say they can blow.    Seriously though, I simply meant to infer the sight of sex organs etc.
 
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