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(CNN)   Black smoke. Thanks Obama   (cnn.com) divider line 52
    More: Obvious, College of Cardinals, Sistine Chapel  
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9471 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Mar 2013 at 7:36 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-12 02:55:53 PM
17 votes:
farm9.staticflickr.com
2013-03-12 02:52:32 PM
8 votes:
t2.gstatic.com
2013-03-12 03:13:11 PM
7 votes:
It's interesting that there are no Italian Jehovah's Witnesses.

But then again, Italians don't leave witnesses.
2013-03-12 02:55:16 PM
7 votes:
This is the year 2013. Just put a neon sign on the roof. Or post online. "Your pope is important to us. Please continue to hold..."
2013-03-12 07:51:03 PM
6 votes:
So...pope is not coming out?
2013-03-12 02:45:54 PM
5 votes:
Wow, they weren't messing around with that smoke.

I wouldn't be surprised if they don't hear anything from the conclave for a few days, only to open the doors and find them all dead of carbon monoxide poisoning.
2013-03-12 09:49:05 PM
4 votes:
img.photobucket.com
2013-03-12 08:19:19 PM
4 votes:
Black smoke means your fuel mixture is too rich, trim it out a bit. White smoke means that coolant is getting into the combustion chamber and is a sign that you could have a blown head gasket.

Blue, or grey smoke is most likely bad rings
2013-03-12 07:43:08 PM
4 votes:
Meanwhile inside the conclave.

"One last time people, we can't all vote for ourself."
2013-03-12 09:02:05 PM
3 votes:
lh5.googleusercontent.com
2013-03-12 07:53:41 PM
3 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com
2013-03-12 04:01:02 PM
3 votes:
i1156.photobucket.com
2013-03-12 03:13:16 PM
3 votes:

Candygram4Mongo: This is the year 2013. Just put a neon sign on the roof. Or post online. "Your pope is important to us. Please continue to hold..."


I just had a vision of a "Hot pontiffs now" sign in red flashing neon....
2013-03-12 03:02:28 PM
3 votes:

KarmicDisaster: What did they burn to get the smoke that Black, some politician souls?


Probably whatever Silvio Burlesconi puts in his hair.
2013-03-12 02:58:41 PM
3 votes:
What did they burn to get the smoke that Black, some politician souls?
2013-03-12 10:19:29 PM
2 votes:

Candygram4Mongo: Candygram4Mongo: Added to Nextflix instant queue

Whoops. Make that Netflix instant queue.

Made me curious, though, where www.nextflix.com goes. Turns out... goes to Netflix.

So there ya go.


Well, tried it again, now it goes somewhere else.

Could be worse. I could be in charge of choosing a pope. We'd end up with Pope GoDaddy XIII or something...
2013-03-12 08:44:09 PM
2 votes:

Cerebral Knievel: Black smoke means your fuel mixture is too rich, trim it out a bit. White smoke means that coolant is getting into the combustion chamber and is a sign that you could have a blown head gasket.

Blue, or grey smoke is most likely bad rings



www.redicecreations.com

Those popes always have them some bad-assed rings
2013-03-12 08:39:26 PM
2 votes:

hughesrep: So six more weeks of winter?

That sucks.


Six more weeks of Lent
2013-03-12 08:03:16 PM
2 votes:
So six more weeks of winter?

That sucks.
2013-03-12 08:00:24 PM
2 votes:
starsmedia.ign.com
2013-03-12 07:41:02 PM
2 votes:
Green after all these hours?

POPE THREAD!!!1
2013-03-12 03:16:28 PM
2 votes:

Nabb1: wxboy: KarmicDisaster: What did they burn to get the smoke that Black, some politician souls?

The body of a previous pope.

If the smoke is accompanied by pained screams, we'll know which previous Pope, too.


They also might be burning one of the Cardinals.  That way, eventually they'll either come to a consensus or keep burning Cardinals until they're down to one.
2013-03-12 03:08:53 PM
2 votes:

KarmicDisaster: What did they burn to get the smoke that Black, some politician souls?


The body of a previous pope.
2013-03-12 11:39:50 PM
1 votes:
If its blue smoke, it's racks of ribs in the smoker. Kosher if course.
2013-03-12 10:54:54 PM
1 votes:
In honor of the Conclave, I'm going to have a Father Ted marathon.

i.imgur.com
2013-03-12 10:29:43 PM
1 votes:

HeartBurnKid: Ambivalence: Snarfangel: Everyone keeps assuming that black smoke means no Pope has been elected. What if the cardinals accidentally created an anti-Pope.

Isn't there already an anti-pope? I want to say the head of the Eastern Orthodox Church but I don't want to offend if I'm wrong. (And I don't care enough to google it).

There is, indeed, an anti-Pope.


www.startrek.com
What an anti-pope might look like.
2013-03-12 09:56:38 PM
1 votes:

Hector Remarkable: I know it's a long shot, but I've put my money down on Don Most.

Don Most for Pope.


Potsy for Pope.
2013-03-12 09:53:18 PM
1 votes:
I know it's a long shot, but I've put my money down on Don Most.

Don Most for Pope.
2013-03-12 09:05:09 PM
1 votes:

Ambivalence: Snarfangel: Everyone keeps assuming that black smoke means no Pope has been elected. What if the cardinals accidentally created an anti-Pope.

Isn't there already an anti-pope? I want to say the head of the Eastern Orthodox Church but I don't want to offend if I'm wrong. (And I don't care enough to google it).


Not in the sense that's usually meant re "antipope" (which actually involved dueling conclaves in some cases, both claiming to be the head of the Catholic church)--the Eastern Orthodox churches have the church patriarchs, but none of them are claiming to be pontiff (seeing as they had their big divorce from Catholicism back in 1054 CE).   Pretty much the Orthodox churches were the first major "forking" of the Christian church that managed to succeed--we didn't get another successful "fork" until Martin Luther and Henry VIII.)

The antipopes were a bit different--imagine you have two governments, BOTH claiming to be the legitimate government of Catholicism (one being the official "Roman candidate", the other usually elected by a "Conclave in exile" of sorts), and it doesn't hurt that you tended to have lots of major powers in Europe at the time pushing for their particular Pope-claimant and supporting either the "official" pope or the "Conclave-in-exile" antipope.  (Interestingly, a lot of the antipopes predating the Great Schism of 1054 tended to have been "papal appointments" by the Byzantine Empire or the Roman Empire, so that split was probably a good long time coming.)

There's no "opposition popes" that have enough of a pull nowadays to be considered a legitimate antipope--yes, you do have schismatic "Old Order Catholic" type groups who feel Vatican II (and in some cases, Vatican I back from 1868) were hellspawned concentrated evil and that every single person who's held the office of "pope" is in fact an antipope (and that their head bishop is properly the "Papal claimant" of a remainder "True Catholic" church) but they certainly don't have heads of state supporting them--hell, probably the most famous person supporting those types is Mel Gibson and pretty much his career got cratered when it came out just how racist and anti-Semitic the "Traditional Catholic" schismatic group he's in with actually was.
2013-03-12 08:32:02 PM
1 votes:
They do clean that thing, right?
2013-03-12 08:21:09 PM
1 votes:

RminusQ: I am highly curious as to what would happen if they picked a non-Cardinal. How would they get the word out to that guy that he needs to get to Rome triple-quick? Would they put out white smoke, and then a guy saying "Please hold for our pope who is arriving on the red-eye and we hope he says yes"? What would be the reaction of the bishop who got that phone call? "Yeah farking right I'm the new pope." [click]

I know it hasn't happened in like 700 years but NEITHER HAS A POPE RESIGNING.


You have to assume most of the cardinals want a chance to be pope, after all they have politicked their way fairly high up the ranks to get where they are, so the honest/generous/charitable/helpful/etc. ones will mostly be gone that far up the hierarchy. So it is unlikely they are going to elect a relatively young cardinal, let alone expand the pool of potential popes outside their group. Plus the entire process is designed to get a "safe" choice - there are unlimited rounds of voting and the winner needs to get over 2/3rds of all the votes, so outsiders and freak winners are not really possible.
2013-03-12 08:11:07 PM
1 votes:
You'd think that the old pope would just have a quick chat with god before he quit and be able to cut out a lot of this nonsense.  "Yeah, god says that.... ~this~ guy is the new pope.  Congrats"
2013-03-12 08:08:10 PM
1 votes:
img593.imageshack.us
/it's funny cuz it's true
2013-03-12 08:00:21 PM
1 votes:

gingerjet: Wait. Broadcast TV news still exists?


Yes, but it deals exclusively with Kardashian updates.
2013-03-12 08:00:19 PM
1 votes:

ontariolightning: Black smoke and no Lost references? Have you all FORGOTTEN?!


After the bullshiat way it ended, Lost is dead to me.
2013-03-12 07:58:27 PM
1 votes:

BlackArt: If they have purple smoke Prince becomes Pope.


Then he serves everyone Communion pancakes.
2013-03-12 07:55:08 PM
1 votes:
img543.imageshack.us

Joel: "The new pope has not been chosen."
2013-03-12 07:53:14 PM
1 votes:

gingerjet: LineNoise: Wow, they weren't messing around with that smoke.

I wouldn't be surprised if they don't hear anything from the conclave for a few days, only to open the doors and find them all dead of carbon monoxide poisoning.

Its almost happened a number of times.  Imagine having to create a system that a bunch of really old guys must be able to activate without being able to ask for help?  And then its used once every decade or two.


I'm an atheist, but this result would almost be enough to turn me into a believer
2013-03-12 07:52:12 PM
1 votes:
NIce to see the Smoke Monster from L O S T getting some work these days.

/the Lensflare Conclave
2013-03-12 07:51:23 PM
1 votes:
Black smoke and no Lost references? Have you all FORGOTTEN?!
2013-03-12 07:49:10 PM
1 votes:
Valentine Pontifex of Majipoor.
2013-03-12 07:48:06 PM
1 votes:

LeafyGreens: Can I post a bunch in this thread about how I'm an atheist and don't believe in your invisible sky friends?


As long as I get to believe in Penn but not Teller.
2013-03-12 07:47:31 PM
1 votes:
No pope, sequester AND we're at war with North Korea again! Cats and dogs, living together!!!
2013-03-12 07:43:08 PM
1 votes:
I predict they will pick an old Catholic who will maintain centuries of ecclesiastical dogma.

Call me crazy.
2013-03-12 07:39:18 PM
1 votes:

KarmicDisaster: What did they burn to get the smoke that Black, some politician souls?


Politicians do not have souls.
2013-03-12 07:23:11 PM
1 votes:

Snarfangel: Everyone keeps assuming that black smoke means no Pope has been elected. What if the cardinals accidentally created an anti-Pope?


Yeah by accident
2013-03-12 03:59:44 PM
1 votes:
so first term - nobel prize, second term - papacy
2013-03-12 03:35:41 PM
1 votes:
I am highly curious as to what would happen if they picked a non-Cardinal. How would they get the word out to that guy that he needs to get to Rome triple-quick? Would they put out white smoke, and then a guy saying "Please hold for our pope who is arriving on the red-eye and we hope he says yes"? What would be the reaction of the bishop who got that phone call? "Yeah farking right I'm the new pope." [click]

I know it hasn't happened in like 700 years but NEITHER HAS A POPE RESIGNING.
2013-03-12 03:30:01 PM
1 votes:

OtherLittleGuy: [farm7.staticflickr.com image 640x443]


Vatican City Legalizes Pot
2013-03-12 03:27:36 PM
1 votes:
farm7.staticflickr.com
2013-03-12 03:12:54 PM
1 votes:

wxboy: KarmicDisaster: What did they burn to get the smoke that Black, some politician souls?

The body of a previous pope.


If the smoke is accompanied by pained screams, we'll know which previous Pope, too.
2013-03-12 02:48:45 PM
1 votes:

LineNoise: Wow, they weren't messing around with that smoke.


IIRC, one of the times they burned the ballots before the last guy was elected the smoke started out as slightly white before they added the straw to turn the smoke black which led to a lot of confusion. Glad to see they're not messing around this time around.
 
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