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(Sun News Network)   Forget Viagra. Issues in the bedroom? Eat your Wheaties   (sunnewsnetwork.ca) divider line 66
    More: Spiffy, Viagra, Sex Cereal, Kaiser, wine bottles  
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11852 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Mar 2013 at 3:34 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-12 02:00:21 PM
Hey, eat THESE Wheaties. *grabs crotch*
 
2013-03-12 02:11:07 PM
Sofia Viagra?
 
2013-03-12 02:16:30 PM
Sigh, how is this new?

cpeople.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-12 02:18:01 PM
FTFA: Peter Ehrlich came up with the concept while walking through a vegan fo

Yeah, no. I can already see where this is going.

/meat good enough for caveman to bang cavewoman, meat good enough for me
 
2013-03-12 02:19:34 PM
Now there's a product that needs Tiger Woods' endorsement.
 
2013-03-12 02:41:57 PM
Funny, since breakfast cereals  were invented to control libido. Oh, and my personal reason to look upon this product as wishful thinking.
 
2013-03-12 03:32:05 PM
The problem is by then I'd already masturbated to the picture of Lindsay Vonn on the box.

(ok, I really mean Doug Flutie. Let me have this, you bastards.)
 
2013-03-12 03:36:24 PM
Doesn't get soft in the milk, I guess.
 
2013-03-12 03:37:59 PM
Forget Vergara?  never!

bossip.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-12 03:38:44 PM

wildcardjack: Funny, since breakfast cereals  were invented to control libido. Oh, and my personal reason to look upon this product as wishful thinking.


That's what I was going to post.  Kellogg's Corn Flakes were made to thwart the evils of masturbation.
 
2013-03-12 03:43:32 PM
As seen on Dragon's Den? That Canadian rip off of Shark Tank?

/ yes I know it is the other way around
// except they both have that douchenozzle Mr Wonderful
 
2013-03-12 03:44:07 PM
I mean, who *doesn't* like a banana in their cereal?
 
2013-03-12 03:44:24 PM
Manbearpig wants to get you! I'm super sexy cereal!
 
2013-03-12 03:45:06 PM
How is this an actual product? Oh I know! Because you can say whatever you want as to its efficacy, as long as it doesn't have poison in it. I was walking through the health store, trying to think up a good gimmick when it struck me! Lots of money is made by making claims stuff will help improve your sex life! Of course, if it's in a cereal, the cereal won't come cheap...

Where does he even decide the science of his formulation between men and women? Who cares! Different exotic-sounding ingredients! BULL farkING shiat
 
2013-03-12 03:45:30 PM
"Frosted F*cky Charms...they're magically delicious"!
 
2013-03-12 03:47:03 PM
"Initially we had some pin-up girl positions that were a little more racy, but we dialed it back a bit because of the legitimacy of the product," Kaiser said. "We didn't want it to look like a gag gift. It's about trying to get the attention without being like a novelty."

So of course you name it "sex cereal" because nobody would have an issue putting that in their shopping cart and wheeling through the grocery store.
 
2013-03-12 03:48:21 PM

dittybopper: Sofia Viagra?


Saw that same thing on first glance.
 
2013-03-12 03:49:23 PM
"As for Sex Cereal, it's produced and packaged at a factory in St. Catharines. But the people who run that factory said they don't want to be known as the company that makes the product. They asked that their name and location not be published."

Was even in the same paragraph...
 
2013-03-12 03:50:39 PM
www.freakingnews.com
 
2013-03-12 03:51:37 PM
I'd eat it if it weren't $17 a box.
 
2013-03-12 03:52:27 PM
Cheery Ho's.
 
2013-03-12 03:53:27 PM

Katchaa: Forget Vergara?  never!


She has magical powers. She gets hotter every time I see her.

Yeah yeah yeah...I know...it's the boobs.

/boobs
//magical boobs
///boobs
 
2013-03-12 03:53:42 PM
i253.photobucket.com

Never forget the youth market.

Introducing STUD TODDLER CEREAL!

Feel the power of early-onset puberty pulse inside your Underoos!

Like baths?YOU will get extra attention from your babysitter!

Want to turn snack-time into YOU'RE THE MACK-TIME?   YOU will stay Quispy in milk!

Do you want to pack heat and do you crave swimmers and pubes that will put the big-boys to shame?  YOU WILL STUCCO THE CEILING...REPEATEDLY!

STUD TODDLER CEREAL... GOO-GOO won't be just baby talk anymore.
 
2013-03-12 03:59:29 PM
Wheaties? But gluten makes my wife's penis unhappy.

/I mean...
 
2013-03-12 04:01:03 PM
They totally missed out on a marketing opportunity.


Libid-O's
 
2013-03-12 04:02:56 PM
Honey Bunches of OH-OH-OH!'s
 
2013-03-12 04:03:39 PM

Glitchwerks: wildcardjack: Funny, since breakfast cereals  were invented to control libido. Oh, and my personal reason to look upon this product as wishful thinking.

That's what I was going to post.  Kellogg's Corn Flakes were made to thwart the evils of masturbation.


Came here to make a John Harvey Kellogg reference.  Beaten to the punch.

tvonelife.com
 
2013-03-12 04:04:54 PM

HexMadroom: They totally missed out on a marketing opportunity.


Libid-O's


Cock'O Crunchies.
Vaginal Crispies
Booby Bran
Honey Nut Friskies
Morning Delight
 
2013-03-12 04:05:24 PM
This being Fark, the subject matter presented here got me thinking about which cereal mascots I'd like to f*ck. Which led me to ponder the nonexistence of female cereal mascots. I might be missing an obvious one here or there, but I can't think of any.

Anyway, the point is that the Trix Rabbit seems like he'd go through a lot of highly specialized self-degradation for a chance at some Trix.
 
2013-03-12 04:07:21 PM
Causing one to thoroughly roger one's lady-wife frequently does the trick to thwart the perturbatory urge towards unholy masturbation. And if it doesn't, stick it to the mistress/companion/rentboy one keeps in the shed out back.
 
2013-03-12 04:07:36 PM
12 bucks a box?  That  is expensive.
 
2013-03-12 04:10:09 PM

Cagey B: This being Fark, the subject matter presented here got me thinking about which cereal mascots I'd like to f*ck.


this is all you needed to say to earn teh funnay vote from me
 
2013-03-12 04:11:04 PM

ReapTheChaos: "Initially we had some pin-up girl positions that were a little more racy, but we dialed it back a bit because of the legitimacy of the product," Kaiser said. "We didn't want it to look like a gag gift. It's about trying to get the attention without being like a novelty."

So of course you name it "sex cereal" because nobody would have an issue putting that in their shopping cart and wheeling through the grocery store.


Yeah especially with a kid in tow. And of course since you are the only one who ever bought that $12 box of cereal the lady at checkout will be like 'What's this?" and give you a weird stare and/or ogle you. No thanks.
 
2013-03-12 04:11:15 PM

Cagey B: This being Fark, the subject matter presented here got me thinking about which cereal mascots I'd like to f*ck. Which led me to ponder the nonexistence of female cereal mascots. I might be missing an obvious one here or there, but I can't think of any.

Anyway, the point is that the Trix Rabbit seems like he'd go through a lot of highly specialized self-degradation for a chance at some Trix.


While Fred and Barney are up to shenanigans over Fruity Pebbles I think it would be easy to get Wilma and Betty to pull a Reverse Rock Bridge.

Just keep it non-anthropomorphized -- never stick your dick in Cuckoo.
 
2013-03-12 04:14:02 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Cagey B: This being Fark, the subject matter presented here got me thinking about which cereal mascots I'd like to f*ck. Which led me to ponder the nonexistence of female cereal mascots. I might be missing an obvious one here or there, but I can't think of any.

Anyway, the point is that the Trix Rabbit seems like he'd go through a lot of highly specialized self-degradation for a chance at some Trix.

While Fred and Barney are up to shenanigans over Fruity Pebbles I think it would be easy to get Wilma and Betty to pull a Reverse Rock Bridge.

Just keep it non-anthropomorphized -- never stick your dick in Cuckoo.


I dunno man...that Sugar Bear seems like one smooth operator.
 
2013-03-12 04:15:23 PM
FTA: "The lightbulb went off ... "

Did the metaphors mix?
 
2013-03-12 04:21:50 PM

kid_icarus: Mr. Coffee Nerves: Cagey B: This being Fark, the subject matter presented here got me thinking about which cereal mascots I'd like to f*ck. Which led me to ponder the nonexistence of female cereal mascots. I might be missing an obvious one here or there, but I can't think of any.

Anyway, the point is that the Trix Rabbit seems like he'd go through a lot of highly specialized self-degradation for a chance at some Trix.

While Fred and Barney are up to shenanigans over Fruity Pebbles I think it would be easy to get Wilma and Betty to pull a Reverse Rock Bridge.

Just keep it non-anthropomorphized -- never stick your dick in Cuckoo.

I dunno man...that Sugar Bear seems like one smooth operator.


Sugar Bear is the Billy Dee Williams of the cereal mascots. Hang with him and just his leftovers alone will get you admitted to the hospital for "Oh My God, I Wore The Bumps Off My Junk."

Just don't call it "Golden Crisp" or you'll end up in the trunk of a 1972 Lincoln Continental with a tweeked out Dig'Em sharpening his spoon and giving you stink-eye, you dig?
 
2013-03-12 04:22:42 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: The problem is by then I'd already masturbated to the picture of Lindsay Vonn on the box.

(ok, I really mean Doug Flutie. Let me have this, you bastards.)


I never considered Flutie Flakes as a masturbatory aid before.
 
2013-03-12 04:24:22 PM

HotIgneous Intruder: FTA: "The lightbulb went off ... "

Did the metaphors mix?


for all intensive purposes, yes.

/yes, I know
 
2013-03-12 04:25:59 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Just keep it non-anthropomorphized -- never stick your dick in Cuckoo.


I'm an open-minded fellow, but people who pitch Santorum: The Cereal are a little out there for me.
 
2013-03-12 04:34:01 PM
Rolled oats, oat bran, sunflower seeds, water, flax seeds, chia seeds, soy protein, cranberries (sweetened with apple juice), goji berries, cacao nibs, almonds, ginger ground, maca powder, coconut sugar

Just what we put in the cereal we made the girls at camp every summer.
But we put better and honey in it, too, and raisins. 

Roasted lightly in pans, and tossed in bowls and then set out for them to pour milk on.

Let me tell you, there is nothing like the glow on a kids face after a week of that for breakfast when they usually go without.
 
2013-03-12 04:34:02 PM
Meh. Still waiting for the LGBT SexCereal.

You know, something like this:

cdn.ebaumsworld.com
 
2013-03-12 04:37:24 PM
This was on Dragon's Den
 
2013-03-12 04:42:19 PM
yah know, a bit of regular exercise and eating well will do just the same thing. if your pecker really doesnt work go get the real thing
 
2013-03-12 04:46:46 PM

lelio: As seen on Dragon's Den? That Canadian rip off of Shark Tank?

/ yes I know it is the other way around
// except they both have that douchenozzle Mr Wonderful


They are both rip-offs/localized versions of a Japanese show...
 
2013-03-12 04:55:12 PM

Salmon: This was on Dragon's Den


Welcome, Captain
 
2013-03-12 05:14:25 PM
Lest we forget:

i210.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-12 05:27:51 PM
A decent drunk then a hit or two of good weed is way better than Viagra.
 
2013-03-12 05:28:42 PM
Chia seeds?

i.walmartimages.com
 
2013-03-12 05:29:12 PM

kid_icarus: HexMadroom: They totally missed out on a marketing opportunity.


Libid-O's

Cock'O Crunchies.
Vaginal Crispies
Booby Bran
Honey Nut Friskies
Morning Delight


Rub-One-Oats
WhoriO's
Bukkake Krunch
Ron Jeremios

I really just came here to see Smilin' Bob 'Shopped onto a Wheaties box...
 
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